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In the wild, anemones pursue many forms of recreation, including pulling their spines into their bodies in response to a starfish attack, pushing their spines out in response to octopi or even waving gently in the ocean current. These things just aren't available to your average suburban anemone. It's true. The Pope signed something and we paid him money. He loves us. He loves you, Roger Clarion.
Because we love anemones, we let them surf, and because we like you, we're cutting our prices to let your anemone take advantage of our fantastic offer. For a few sand dollars, we'll ship this surfboard anatomically formulated for your oceanic anemone. Buy the board, have a blast, catch a wave!
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