Benny Monniker was a fat kid. When meal time came around, Benny always jumped ahead of everybody else, forking loads and loads of whatever his mom brought onto his own plate. The rest of the family grew thinner and thinner as they watched Benny’s weight balloon through 200, 300… 400 pounds! They weakly applauded when he broke the scale. Finally, thought, they could take no more. No matter how they let him encouraged him, Benny’s family just couldn’t get Benny to keep his clothes clean. Spaghetti, mashed potatoes, creamed corn… half of inner always fell onto his shirt and pants. And Benny screamed, "Cannibals! Cannibals!" if they tried to eat off him. Something had to be done.

Then Mama Monniker had an idea. Instead of washing his clothes, she reheated them.

It caught on instantly. Starving children felt it thousands of miles away. The Yum-Yum shirt drove Benny’s weight through the roof. And the floor. The family just watched as, one day, the planking under him gave way and Benny surrendered to what he called, "my own China syndrome."

The rest of the Monniker family quickly added meat to their all-too-prominent ribs, shoveling food in with a zest that would have made Benny proud. To avoid the same fate that befell the poor child, however, they made certain to eat in the most grotesque manner possible, spilling ever more food over their shirts, socks and coveralls. Eventually, the results crowded the walk-in freezers, closets and crawlspaces of the house. Mama Monniker held a garage sale to free up space, making $1.25 and history in one fell swoop.

To those of you who have heard of the Yum-Yum shirt, the Monniker story may seem as familiar as your own family tree. Thanks from our hearts to yours… and may God in His infinite wisdom will see fit this Christmas season to repeal the glandular disorder that has stricken so many Americans with morbid obesity. If Mama Monniker could raise her own arm from the neutral buoyancy tank, she would salute you and all the families out there dressed in your favorite Yum-Yum shirts. God bless.