BABY BABY BABY GRAND PIANO

A Helmsley Corporation Product

It’s red, it’s haute couture and it plays music when your child hammers it with his fists. Make sure your youngest grows up knowing the difference between Champagne and sparkling wine with this educational toy, made in Mexico by people smaller than many of its working parts! You’ll never have to worry that wealth of any sort was involved in its production… only in its exploitation! The materials are guarded by a security system worth millions, guaranteeing the laborers don’t replace substandard post-industrial leftovers with our high-impact space-age high-dioxin plastics.

The Baby Baby Baby Grand Piano comes with instructions detailing how to assemble it, to use it as a charity tax dodge, or to form a fake corporation to produce more of your own haute couture items pitched to the wealthy.

Order now, the only ones worth owning are almost gone!