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please, Sir
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| yesterday:
previous posts ... small thing, big impact: way too caught up in the big thing (packing a house *ack*) to contemplate the small things :( me: this is
actually my webpage, which will need to be worked on as well, especially since i am making
life-changes |
i have until the end of the month to pack the entire main floor and basement of this house. And yes, i am finding it very overwhelming. i have accumulated so much in the past 10 years, which have been added to the 30 years before that. Well, if you can count the baby years as valid collection years. But how i am going to accomplish the enormity of this task is beyond any scope of my imagination. i do have the offer of help from a few of my girlfriends, which i am definitely going to accept. i have lived in this area for 21 years now, and i tried to leave almost from the first day i moved here. It has never felt like "home", yet i can't imagine moving back to where i was born. It is almost insufferably small there, with very few of the amenities i am used to now. Maybe i am just not a very good "nester". Or perhaps i just hadn't found the right place to roost. i know that the need to be who i am, also has forced me to accept that part of all the changes inevitably precipitated my getting brave and making sure my next address is really a place i want to be. Not an address that is obtained because of necessity, because i was someone's wife or mother. And i guess i am still fighting the "good things always leave me" demons. i have to learn to trust myself, that i am competent enough to know when i am doing something right for me. i think i am getting there, but it seems such a slow process that i get impatient. Gone to battle packing and demons. Or demons packing....
October 19/99
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this little guy would get
annoying if i had to watch him too long, but it looks like he is as baffled as i
feel today..