"When i was born i was so surprised, i couldn't talk for a year and a half" - Gracie Allan

     The above reminds me of when i first discovered on-line chat rooms and the multitude of "chatters" who readily, and openly, admitted to participating in this lifestyle.  i was fascinated.  i was relieved.   i was totally tongue-tied; afraid that i would say or do something to expose my ignorance.  These people were rattling off terms and concepts that i had never heard of before.  Words such as "switch" and "flogger" were foreign to me.  Even the label "submissive" was new to my ears.  Is that what i was?  There is a name for the desire to give over control and like having one's bottom spanked, i wondered? 

     i have traveled a long path since those first few days of discovering like-minded people.  And i actually talk now, sometimes to Master's dismay i think.  Yet, i don't see the path ending.  And i don't want it to end.  i believe i have gotten more than just the knowledge of who (or some would say "what") i am.   i have discovered how to learn again.  Through the gentle nudging and prodding of Master, my confidence has increased and i am not so afraid to ask questions, no matter how silly they sound.  i am not as afraid to admit that i don't know something.  And by admitting that fact, i am demonstrating my willingness to learn. 

     It feels like i have opened up inside.

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Some daily rituals that keep the D/s in our relationship:

     i have to ask to "come"

     i have to say thank you, after i do

     i always serve Him with two hands

     i am to kiss Him, even if He is sleeping, before leaving the bed in the morning

     i ask permission before donning a bra (although i can wear one if we are going out, without asking)

     i kiss Him when He returns home, after being out for awhile

     i kiss Him before He leaves the house

Some things He does for me, from day-to-day:

     Cooks my favourite soup

     Actually, does the majority of the cooking

     Makes sure i take my pill (harmony pills i call them, hormone pills are what they are, and i swear He thinks if i miss one i shall turn into some sort of beasty!)

     Helps completely with all housework, including the laundry

     Sticks His fingers in His ears when i ramble on about something He doesn't want to hear  (and who's the brat here?)

     Takes me to the doctor when i need to go,   buys the cold pills and the antihistamines, tucks me in when i don't feel well.

     Creates wonderful "scenes" for me.

     Okay, i shall stop now, or this will become one of those soppy adoration things where i begin cooing and carrying on about how wonderful my Master is. 

     There is one more thing that i believe is the most important of all, and should be mentioned.

     He listens to me.             

February 8, 2000