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Chapter Title: I Turn To You
Author: Chad
E-mail: chad_m_@hotmail.com
Rated: R
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine, but the story is.
Summary: After all the heartache and four years of marriage, Buffy and Angel’s relationship finally comes to and end when he cheats on her. B/A, B/S, and A/C.
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*Turn To You*
~Christina Aguilera~
//When I’m lost
In the rain.
In your eyes I know
I’ll find the light
to light my way.
When I’m scared.
Loosing ground.
When my world is going crazy,
You can turn it all around.//
Spike flicked away his cigarette and crushed it against the concrete with the bottom of his boot, vengeance in his icy blue eyes. He suddenly looked up when he felt someone approaching him, and watched as Buffy made her way towards him, gorgeous hazel eyes glistening with unshed tears.
He sighed and looked away, his gaze falling to the ground, feeling and knowing the pain she must be suffering because of his bastard sire. A man who had her entire heart in the palm of his hand . . . yet was never happy about it, a man who had crushed it and threw it against the wall and watched with indifference as it slid down to the ground, leaving a wet crimson trail behind it. A reminder of all the pain she had suffered because of the poof.
//And when I’m down you’re there
Pushing me to the top.
You’re always there givin’ me all ya got.
For a shield from the storm,
For a friend,
For a love to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.//
He had met with Buffy earlier as she walked out of the step of the hotel, head down as she trudged towards him with silent tears slowly creeping down her rosy cheeks. He had clenched his jaws at the sight, biting his tongue from saying anything to help her through the ache . . . but he couldn’t, not when that ache was still so new and fresh.
So instead, he silently packed away her bags and suitcases in the hood of his Desoto. She had looked back at the hotel, and the both of them could clearly make out Connor’s screams for her.
Buffy broke down at that very moment, and the only thing Spike was able to do was hold her in his arms as she sobbed out her grief and her sorrow. She was hurting, and he knew she didn’t want to leave. He knew how much she still loved Angel, and how she had grown to love Connor as her own. And because of his sire’s idiotic choices, Buffy was not only loosing the man she loved and cared for, but the son she had grown to believe was hers.
And he let her cry.
//For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on,
For everything you do,
For everything that’s true.
I turn to you . . . yeah.
When I loose
The will to win.
I just reach for you,
And I can reach the sky again.//
“I may never see him again,” she sobbed into his leather jacket.
“It’s alright, pet,” he muttered in her hair as he closed his eyes, “Just let it out.”
She cried harder, but finally pulled away moments later, trying hard to dry away her tears. “I’m going to take a walk,” she told him.
“Where’ll I meet you, luv?” he called after her.
She didn’t answer, so he drove around, knowing Buffy will be able to handle herself and find him. He stayed in front of a Starbucks coffee shop and ordered a cup or warm coffee for her . . . and just in time too.
“You alright, pet?” he asked, knowing the answer already as he handed her the steaming styrofoam cup.
She shrugged and took a sip of the drink. “Thank you.”
“No problems, pet,” he smiled.
“No,” she shook her head lightly, gazing at him with large red eyes, “I mean it, Spike . . . Thank you.”
His grin wavered ever so slightly, and nodded. “You’re welcome,” he said sincerely.
//I can do anything.
Cause your love is so amazing,
Cause your love inspires me.
And when I need a friend
You’re always on my side.
Giving me faith taking me through the night.
For a shield from the storm,
For a friend,
For a love to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.//
She then looked at her slim silver watch. “Our plane leaves in an hour. We should get going,” he told him.
Spike only nodded and he opened the passenger door for her and helped her inside. He shut the door and took a deep breath, not realizing how much he really needed it since he had practically been holding his breath. It was a human-perk he was still getting used to after the Hellmouth closed and he was told by The Powers That Be, themselves, that he was slowly going to start to evolve into a human in the upcoming years . . . something that he was happy about, but still had a hard time believing.
But the hardest thing to believe was when Buffy had called him up yesterday morning and told her everything that was going on with Angel and Cordelia. He had listened intently at her words . . . how she knew, and she poured it out and finally told him what her plan was.
//For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on,
For everything you do,
I turn to you . . . yeah. Oh.
For the arms to be my shelter through all the rain.
For the truth that will never change.
For someone to lean on.
For a heart I can rely on through anything.
For the world through,
I came through too.
I turn to you.//
She wanted to move elsewhere . . . somewhere warm . . . somewhere far, far away . . . and she wanted him to accompany her. Spike didn’t have to think twice about it, and offered his aid to her without any questions. He drove all the way from Sunnydale to LA last night. He decided to stay in good ol’ Sunny D to help the Slayer there to fight off the remaining beasties that littered the closed Hellmouth.
It didn’t take a genius to realize how he still loved Buffy, after all these years. Only thing was, it seemed to take on another level, not only because of her acceptance of him, but because of the close bond and friendship they had grown throughout the years they had known each other.
She trusted him, and loved him enough for that. And that was all he could ask for, if he couldn’t have her entire heart.
//For a shield from the storm,
For a friend,
For a love to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.//
//For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on,
For everything you do,
For everything that’s true.
For everything you do.
For everything that’s true . . . //
They reached the airport within thirty minutes. The entire car ride had been silent, neither of them not really knowing what to say as they entered their own personal little worlds . . . where life was easier to deal with, and where their own inner musings seemed to make sense.
“Are you sure this is what you want, luv?” Spike asked as the pair reached the gate with their own individual carryon.
This was it. In a few seconds, they would board a plane to Hawaii . . . and continue on with life, and hopefully heal wounds that fate had caused it.
Buffy nodded. “Yes,” she assured him, “This is what I want.”
Spike sighed and grabbed her shoulders, turning her so she could face him. “This is it, pet,” he told her with serious blue eyes. “There’s no turning back after we board that plane . . . there’s no looking back,” he continued.
She nodded again. “I know, Spike,” she said, “I know.”
“Alright,” he said, “Let’s board then, shall we?” he smiled, offering his arms out to her in a gentlemanly fashion.
She smiled sincerely and took it. “We shall.”
//I turn to you. Oh.//
Continue to Chapter 3: Yellow
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