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News in Brief:
11th July: I went to ground to fight for the resistance. And because I was recovering from bulimia. I declare this month to be "Insult Minorities Month."
29th June: It's all becoming rather clear that webmaster has entered mui mui annoyo mode. Be afraid.
28th June: Second update in one day. EU now pushed to DefCon 3. Governments are under pressure to plan retaliatory strikes.
28th June: States throughout the European Union are in panic mode as BSB is updated for a third time. Author is clearly on some kind of juiced up power trip. Author has had eight hours' sleep in the last three days, a new record!
25th June: BSB actually updated, or rather, cleansed and purified. Author promises to be "more regular". Announcement met with some scepticism
14th June: BSB finally online. World rejoices
Doughy
Goodness:
Link This Site:
4:41am Friday 29th June
2001
Posted by Mr Greenfish
"Youise fullas ar in for a troit."
Stop this
madness now, please. Thank youAnd just one more fucking thing. I heard a fascinating interview with a British scientist on the radio the other day. Among other things, he talked about how the Kyoto Protocol that every environmentalist and their unmodified dogs likes to point to as being a major reason why the world is going to hell in a handbasket, because stinky old Texan oil lover won't put his John Hancock on some bleached bit of ex-tree. I was fascinated to hear him describe the Protocol as "essentially unworkable" in its present form, and that it actually makes more sense to reject it and renegotiate a pact that will make more of a difference, rather than working with one that will achieve nothing. I can't unfortunately remember the bulk of what he talked about, but suffice to say it was reasoned and sensible, and left me with a profound sense of horror.
Why horror, you ask? Because the Kyoto Protocol is touted mindlessly by millions of gibbering, half-informed do-gooders who blindly go about espousing ill judged rhetoric on matters they really haven't tapped beneath the surface, which is unsurprising to me because in my experience it's all about the look. It's all about appearing to be eco-friendly by purchasing your detergent refill packs and filling your recycling bin to capacity every week, and of course using low octane fuel. This is a Consumer Society we live in, more than at any other time in our history. The amount of waste generated per head in the Western world (yes,even the conservationists) is obscene. It makes me feel physically ill. The levels of hypocrisy emanating from the Babylons of disinterest, detachment and malaise dotting the globe hurt my brain. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to go and listen to Film Show on the goddamn radio.
10:31pm Thursday 28th June
2001
Posted by Mr Greenfish
"Not tonight, I'm not in the mood."
Making
matters worseWell I have just spent too much of my adult life over at www.stickdeath.com. I strongly advise you to do the same. Oh, shit, I really am in the mood for a diatribe tonight. Hmm, what shall be my target, the UN? Greenpeace? So many choices, so little time.
Let's start with fucking Greenpeace™, shall we? Yes, let's start with them. The other week, their flunkies were out IN FORCE on the streets of my city, aggressively handing out flyers to anybody who was stupid enough to make eye contact, imploring us to consider what humans were doing to this fucking planet and asking that we all sign up and help them right the wrongs. Twice I had to tell the pushy bastards I'll think about it. Now, I happen to agree with Greenpeace on one or two points, but, oops, oh dear, I just can't seem to reconcile that partial agreement with full and devoted supplication to their inane and trendy fucking causes. Do they actually have any idea whatsoever what is important and what isn't? Case in point: There is a style of dressing that epitomises the Greenpeace activist (I voted Green Party at the last election, but that's a whole other matter), and it seems to coincide with "earthtones, rough fibrous material, worn for several weeks without needing to be washed". Fashion really makes no difference to the cause of the activist, but it seems, by sheer volume alone, that some of these people are signing up just for the fucking labels, or the lack of them anyway.
Now, that's a reasonably minor quibble and certainly nothing to base a bucket of contempt upon. So now I reveal what I really can't stand. Somewhere that day, there was a nice house, probably in a nice part of town up on the hill, where reams and reams of colour printed leaflets were stacked to the ceiling, awaiting distribution. The leaflets were driven around town in smelly exhaust spewing vans no doubt, despatched to various points where they could be picked up, for eventual delivery into the hands of busy people on the street. I consider this whole sequence of events to be totally deplorable, and every sinew in my body is flexing in disgust merely recounting them. These tree hugging bastards, these smoke a joint a day and be good to your fellow human beings hypocritical dreadheads were actively encouraging the cutting down and pulping of our trees, our planet's lovely trees? Just so they could tell everybody to send in their money so they could stop those self same trees from being cut down? What the fuck ever happened to word of mouth, I say? Another horrific incident happened the other week, when I watched someone I know going around slapping stickers on anything they could see. What did these little plastic sticky labels say? "Mobil: deforesting the planet since 1975" or some such nonsense. Why do I even mention this at all? Because those self same fucking stickers were generated using petroleum byproducts that an oil firm such as Mobil had created via its natural ecology-destroying methods, that's why. Now, I don't want to put the smack down on this person because I think she is decent and well meaning, but it was hard to watch her doing this when it seemed so blatantly self-perpetuating - We protest against you, you keep doing what you do, we use the byproducts of what you do to protest against you more. You see the pattern here people? Maybe you should have thought this one through a little, Greenpeace, before you went and had all those cool colour brochures printed up.
12:29am Thursday 28th June
2001
Posted by Mr Greenfish
"Don't tell your right hand, baby, what your left hand do."
Department
of the TalentlessOK excellent another update for you and your pets.
I tell you, this internet just gets scarier and scarier. Today over on stileproject I saw a man commit suicide on TV. Not one of those Real TV-style armed police standoff ones, where a couple of pixels in the murky distance suddenly disappear from view. This was at a press conference. And the cameraman didn't even flinch. What a sight. This is the closest thing to a snuff film that I have ever seen. Of course, it isn't a snuff film because it was voluntary, but still ... here are that man's last words, and here's a list of ten (mainly British) other interesting episodes in broadcasting. Time for some toilet humour!
Ahh ... I admit it, I didn't have the wherewithal to come up with some grade A choice cut toilet humour, so I present to you instead the next best thing ... The Most Horrific Mutations Of Good Songs That I Have Ever Encountered On God's Blessed Earth ... They are only clips, so don't worry, the horror will end soon ...
ONLY FOR IT TO BEGIN AGAIN!! Here are the FULL songs (in RealAudio) for you to enjoy. "Enjoy" in this case being code for "slit your throat and the throats of those around you to"
This will
surely twist your mind
Countdown to sanity implosion 3:03
you know this shit is bad for your health
I love the strangled cry at the end of this one
But, frankly, if you wanted the entire songs I pity you, oh I pity you. You should leave your cabin immediately and find some humans to talk to. What are you doing with the internet so far from civilisation anyway? Inquiring minds want to know.
6:00am Tuesday 25th June
2001
Posted by Mr Greenfish
"Give it to me straight, doc." "OK. You're fucked."
In memory
of my memoryI have a terrible memory. A terribly shit memory. I will probably get Alzheimer's when I am 30 and start pissing myself whilst sitting in a chair watching channel one because I think it's 1930 and besides I can't remember where I left the remote control I'm so fucking forgetful. Dogs will chew off my lips and eyelids and I won't care because I'll be so doped up on Prozac it'll feel like a thousand butterflies gently carressing my temples and talking dirty into what's left of my ears. Anyways, time for the mega happy zooooooom paragraph!
ZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!
Splendid. Did I mention this is the second time I have devoted hours to this page in order to get it up and running? This time I actually intend to update it regularly, with diverting content, natch. Of course I have a job so unlike certain stiles I can't spend all my time surfing around actually finding interesting stuff to post. So I'm just going to wing it. I shall now spend the next 15 minutes of my life looking for something good.
Oh I should mention, however that my name is Mr Greenfish. No relation to the inveterate masturbator from Karnov, by the way. Although, yes, I do have my hand down my pants. Time to drum up some publicity by getting sued.
I love Judge Dredd. The amount of influence he had on my early life is just ridiculously high. I mean, over 25% of my formative memories relate to 2000AD magazine, and specifically, Dredd. I forget lots of shit from my childhood which I will no doubt recollect when I am a drooling 30 year old pottering around my garden looking for fairies, but I do remember the names of the boxers (Crippen and Turk) in the illegal block vs. block brawl Dredd broke up, the East Meg spy he battled during the Apocalypse war (Orlok), and the mayor who was in the thick of it and went a little crazy in the Cursed Earth (Mayor Jim Grubb, later just Grubby). Cass Anderson of PSI Division (mmmmm ...), Judge Hershey, Rico, Chief Justices Goodman, Griffin, Cal, Silver and McGruder, Chopper (my favourite lawbreaker), Mean Machine Angel, the Judge Child, that taxidermist guy, Satanus (and his master, Thoth from Nemesis the Warlock), the Raggedy Man, the Phantom of the Shoppera, Judd, the Full Mentals, PJ fucking Maybe that psycopathic little cunt, Adrian Cockroach, Judge Death, Monkey business, the Judge Child, Barry and his little friend Mo, Dredd's robot servant Walter the Wobot and his maid Maria, Father Earth, the Uglies, the League of Fatties, Pit rats (and rat burgers, of course), the City of the Damned, Block Mania, Graveyard shifts, Killkraze, the Long Walk, Plasteen ... Him and the A Team were pretty high on my list of Very Cool Shit. The movie was a fucking travesty though. As long as they don't do an A Team movie I should be okay. Fuck I hate you, Stallone. Let's hope the game is better. If it's anything like Alien vs. Predator I am so there. Dude.
All right, here are some links for you:
I hate you and here's proof Video Nasty Train vs. Auto
Wrestling + Porno = White Trash Heaven Unmitigated Violence
- A m n e s i a c - +
leeched shamelessly from killer
Did you laugh at the shovel video? Of course you did, you sick sick ingrate. That wrestling clip is good, but not as good as the time Brutus "the Barber" Beefcake managed to get one over on Jake "the Snake" Roberts by removing his tights. And of course not as good as this.
I need professional help. When I watch this stuff I don't wince, I don't cover my eyes and ask my girlfriend to tell me when the bad things go away, I lap it up. Sometimes I laugh. Sometimes you laugh. Sometimes we all laugh, even when poor old shovel boy isn't. Damn, he let out a real yelp, didn't he! Can't have seen that one coming! I'm gonna go sell myself like a piece of meat to a whole lot of E/N junkies now, wish me luck, or don't ...
Copyright
is such an
outdated concept