Today is a new day. It's early in the morning. I'm up because I went to bed early and then when I tried to go back to sleep I couldn't. So... I'm writing.

 

I have been unemployed now for way too long; since September 28, 2009 to be exact. It's starting to get to me. I went for a job that both the HR representative and I thought would be a perfect fit, but the supervisor decided that I was too ambitious and would not be a good fit for a job that requires so little ambition (or at least that's what I can only assume from his reason for not wanting me). The very lovely HR rep said she argued on my behalf because she said she felt I was the perfect person for the job but in the end it is the supervisor's decision. Once again, nothing I can do is good enough. Or it's too good. Hell if I can figure it out! I just don't see where I keep going wrong in this! Am I just destined to be a nothing? Am I really a loser? What is wrong with me? I don't understand it.

 

This is all very frustrating, but there IS good news to put in here. Very soon I should have my fully MALE birth certificate in my hands. Living in Michigan right now is difficult because there are not really any jobs for anyone who doesn't have a Ph.D. in flipping burgers, so we're all broke and getting poorer as the days go on from having our crap taken away from us, like unemployment benefits and food assistance. But someone somewhere in the upper fortresses of the state offices decided that the non-inclusive policies regarding changing birth certificates violated HIPAA (health care privacy) laws and had to begrudgingly change their approach. Therefore, I was able to get my doctor to sign off on my info, and a mere $40 later I should have a new birth certificate with male on it very soon. It takes a while to process it because there is probably only one person in the entire state doing these sorts of things--and then some--and they have to get around to it. But, it's all done for now. Surgery fell through a couple of times and I thought it had stopped me in my tracks, but I was wrong this time. It all changed and worked out better for me in the end. I'd still love to have a hysto and in fact, I won't stop trying to get one. However, for now this final change won't have to be done later at a much larger expense of going back to court.

 

I think that's all for now. I am not tired but I'll just wander the net, as usual. Maybe I'll do some homework. I don't know. I just want to have a better day today than I did yesterday. Finding out I didn't even get considered by that supervisor was not exactly the highlight of my life.