A TRIBUTE TO MY MOTHER

From the other side of childhood the view is so much clearer.
Giving doesn't seem as easy as the taking and receiving.
Now I see the little things that formed a human being.
Giving up the things you wanted, and usually really needed,
to give me things I knew I really HAD to have,
like toys and games and little things
that made me feel I fit.
Children never seem to see the threadbare coats,
the rundown shoes, the clothes you've had for years.
The late nights spent over many bills
and the hours and hours of tears.
Not the selfish tears of childhood for all
the things you cannot have,
but, the selfless tears of parents
for the things they cannot give.
These things all came clear to me the older that I grew,
but still I'm learning things that I just never knew.
The total dedication to the raising of a child - never
looking backwards to the way things could have been,
the things you might have had.
Forever looking forward to the things you'd like to give.
Not many people have a claim to this selfless kind of love,
Not many are as caring.
Through the years I've grown to see
this is just the way you are.

There are many different ways of giving life I've learned,
There are those for whom its enough to just give birth...
The "I had you, now you owe me",
or "I gave you birth and now I must give you life".
I was lucky, you chose the second way.
You gave me birth, gave me love, gave me a home,
gave me food and clothing.
Then came the childhood years of
"I want this and this and this"
and you gave and gave and gave.
Sometimes you were thanked, but more often not I'd bet.
Now I can see the selfish way I certainly must have acted.
You gave me the things that any parent would,
but now I know it went much further.
Many don't give time - you gave years and years,
and I'd say it's just the begining.
Many don't give love - you gave all that you had.
Many don't give friendship -
you've been the truest one of all.
Many don't give freedom - you did!
How it must have hurt to finally let me go.
Many don't give hope - but you have always said...
"Life's truly what you make it".
Many don't give dreams -
You opened my eyes to the things
that can be if I only try.
Many don't give life -
You gave totally of yours from the moment I was born.

All the happy things of childhood are now past,
I'm facing the reality of giving life myself.
There you stand forever true, not having much to give,
But now you see I've found that you've
already given me more than you thought,
the very essence of Life.
I believe in my heart that you'll go to your grave
still giving of yourself.
You've given me not only birth,
but the entirety of your life.
I wish I had some way to repay some of what you've given,
but the years are growing shorter,
and the debt still grows today.
If I owned the world and gave it unto you,
my debt it wouldn't quite repay.
The one thing in this world that we'll never be able to buy
is the one thing you've given to me...
you gave me my life.

God gave you the gift of having a child
and of the many people I've known throughout my life
to which God also gave this gift,
YOU, I see, have taken this gift to heart.
You never refused it, never abused it,
You never let it tarnish or rot upon the shelf.
It might have gotten dirty a time, or two, or three,
but you washed it and dried it, and lovingly so.
It might have fallen a few times too,
Cracked and broken, but you mended it through.
You picked up all the pieces, one by one,
and glued them together with patience and care.
It might have been stolen, and made your heart so sad,
by ones who abused it and left it to cry.
But always your love brought it home to repair.

Four times over you've been given God's gift,
four times over you've given your life.
And someday, God grant me the way,
I will find a way all of this giving to repeay.
Though I'll never be able to give you those years,
somehow I believe I'll share in your tears.
God grant me the gift of a child or two,
and I'll try in my way to repay what is due.

I wrote this poem in 1981, 18 years ago, but every year
that passes makes it much more true. I feel truly
blessed to have been given the gift of parents who
truly believe that God created everyone equally,
even just a child.

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Updated May 16, 1999
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