Maria's Story Continued...6

I can recall another practice at the home was we were dressed up and we knew there was going to be visitors coming to the home. We were lined up like cattle and it was people coming to see who they wanted to adopt. My sister and I were never chosen but I remember and so does my sister begging people to be our new Mummy and Daddy and take us with them but it never happened in our case although there was children adopted and fostered from the home. On these occasions the nuns were all sweetness and light no one would ever dream we were being abused but we were and I was constantly. I remember once a woman and man chose to take me over the Christmas period to stay with them how it all worked I do not know but it was one of the happiest times I had but my sister did not come with me why I do not know. When my sister turned fifteen she got a job and I remember she had very long Black hair lovely hair and it was all cut short I was shocked when I seen it. My sister had got a job and went to stay with my Dad and I had a brief spell with my Dad also. I ended up being abused by a so called uncle who although did not take my virginity was a friend of my father's it was awful and I just rebelled and went wild. I think I was frustrated because I had no one to tell I was used and sexually abused by this uncle not a real uncle he was married but they did not have children. He was so vile and I had a sense that what I was asked to do was wrong but I was only a child I knew somehow it was not right. I could not tell anyone as I did not know who I could tell and he was a friend of my father's so I felt I would be letting him down if I said any thing to any one so I kept it all to myself and said nothing but I was used to that being in Nazareth House and I thought if I said anything they would send me back and I did not want that. It was good being at home with my Dad and being free. The things I was made to do was awful he had told me it was our secret I was not to tell any one. I went wild and was out of control because I did not know any one I could tell or speak to. I never told any one until I told my sister a couple of years ago she did not have a clue but she told me that he was put away a few years ago for the same thing abusing children. When my sister told me this I felt guilty and wished I had said something but to who I do not know. I was only eleven when all this was going on. I was made a ward of court and sent to Nazareth House in Aberdeen away from every one and I never got any visitors. It was to far for my Dad to visit me so I was basically on my own there so the nuns could do as they pleased and I did not even have my sister there with me like I had at Glasgow.I was constantly told I was bad and wicked also that my Dad did not want me no one wanted me and of coarse I believed it after all no came to see me did they so I thought the nuns were right.What this did to me Iwas devastated to say the least I used to cry and cry and I grew up wondering what was wrong with me that no one wanted me. I was still eleven years old when I was sent to Aberdeen but after a few weeks I knew it was the same regime all over again. I ran away there was eleven of us girls who ran away together. I remember it was at night and we all crept down the fire escape being ever so quiet so as not to get caught. We decided to split up and myself and another girl hitched a lift from Aberdeen to Glasgow by a lorry driver who picked us up but he wanted something in return for dropping us in Glasgow so again I was abused he had raped me we could not get out of the lorry until he got something it was scary but I gave in because I wanted to get out of that lorry. We decided it was better than Aberdeen. My friend and I broke into a place called ST. Mungo's she knew of this place we broke a window and slept rough for three weeks and we would go over the fields during the day and steal veg from the fields and eat it as we were hungry. We would wash in public toilets during the day just to try and keep clean. We decided to go in to a police station in Glasgow after three weeks and tell them we had run away from Nazareth House Aberdeen this was because we were cold and hungry and we had had enough of being on the run.

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