THE CONES CHAPTER 2. 

VISIT BY KING CONE.

The Caution Wet Floor Section at Scarborough Police Station were treated to a special visit from the King of Wet Floor Cones, who resides at the MacDonald's fast food restaurant.
The MacDonald's Cone was received with enthusiasm by the Police Cones, who took him on a tour of the Police Station toilets and corridors.
After what was described as an enjoyable visit, the King Cone was taken to the seafront by the Traffic Section and given a taste of what it means to be a Traffic Cone working outside by the side of the road.

Tony Traffic Cone stated that it was good to see a Caution Wet Floor Cone outside on the streets, as the majority of the Wet floor section had never ventured beyond the warmth and comfort of the station toilets!

NOT FUNNY!!

 Tony the Traffic Cone woke up on Saturday morning to find that he was on a remote Scottish island! Poor confused Tony could not remember how he arrived there and had only a vague recollection of the night before. The night before you see had been Tony’s Stag party, as he is soon to wed his childhood sweetheart Tammy Traffic Cone. The boy cones took Tony on a pub-crawl of Scarborough’s public houses to celebrate and that is where, according to Tony, things become a little vague. It would appear that as a joke and with Tony a little the worse for drink, the Cones took Tony to Scotland and arranged for him to be left on the island. Tony speaking exclusively to the Sweep News said that it was. “Not funny!” As it took him five days to get back to Scarborough! “Have you ever tried to hitch a lift as a Traffic Cone?” Said Tony. “There are hundreds of cones trying to get a lift by the side of the motorways, but nobody ever stops to give them a lift, oh no, they just drive around them and carry on down the road!”  Therefore, readers the next time you see a Traffic Cone by the side of the road, remember poor Tony and just stop to ask if it requires a lift! 

TONY AND TAMMY TRAFFIC CONE GET MARRIED

On a bright sunny Saturday morning, Tony and Tammy Traffic Cone finally tied the knot, and were married at St Saviours Church in Scarborough.
The minister, who originally had reservations about marrying the Cones, said in an interview, that he had carefully consulted his handbook but finding no mention of Cones, he had personally consulted the man upstairs. The man upstairs, whose name is apparently Arthur, is reported to have sworn some obscenity, taken a swig from the bottle he was holding and fallen back to sleep! 
After Arthur’s ‘help and advice’, the wedding went ahead and the fruit of Cone love finally blossomed in a beautiful ceremony attended by those Traffic Cones that could sneak away from their yellow lines!

This was the first Cone wedding that this minister had performed or had even heard of. Considering the number of Cones there are, this was surprising and begs the question where have the other Cones gone when they wished to tie the knot?
(The Editor would like to point out that we are in no way suggesting that Cones have been living in sin!) 

Baby Timmy Traffic Cone who acted as a page boy for the service, said afterwards that he was pleased that the church had acknowledged ‘Cone Love’ and hoped that the rest of society would now come to accept that Cones had real feelings and weren’t just there to be driven around and ignored.
After the wedding, Tony and Tammy had a brief honeymoon on a yellow line at Scarborough Seafront and are now back at work. The Sweep news wishes them well and looks forward to the patter of tiny Cone feet!