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Here are quotes from my favorite movies. First, *How to lose a guy in 10 days, and another one of my favorite movies
*Crossroads, *A walk to remember, *Wedding Singer, *Miss Congeniality, and finally the Grinch
Andie: Our love fern! You let it die! Ben: No, honey, its just sleeping.
Andie: Benny boo boo...boo boo boo!
Ben: Let's take a break because the girl is driving me crazy. Tony: Which one, Andie or Princess Sophia?
[ Andie is holding a tissue in front of Ben's face] Andie: C'mon, blow. Nobody likes a Mr. Sniffles. Tony: Yeah, uh, I hate Mr. Sniffles. Andie: Does Princess Sofia want to come out and play? Lets see...big or small, big or small.
Ben: Princess Sofia?...how about spike, or butch or Krull the Warrior King.
Ben: You're already falling in love with me. Andie: I'm gonna make you wish you were dead.
Thayer: Is she on something? Ben: God I hope so. Andie: Are you saying I'm some kind of mental person?
Ben: That's what I'm talking about. Where's the sexy, cool, fun, smart, beautiful Andie that I knew? The one that wanted to be
a serious journalist? You're up, you're down, you're here, you're there, you're like a fricken' one woman circus.
Andie: You can't lose something you never had.
Andie: Hey, listen, Sparky. I have a masters in journalism from Columba, my boss loves me, and if I do it her way for a while,
I can write about whatever I want. Ben: Like, shoes?
Ben's Mom: Now Andie, I hope you know that we expect you to come back here because you have held Ben
to his lowest bullshit score since his tonsillectomy and we are thrilled! Andie: why were all his other girlfriends bullshit losers? Ben's Mom: What other girlfriends? You are the first
girl he ever brought home! Don't you break his heart now!
Andie: [ Crying at restaurant after waitress asks if everything is okay] My boyfriend thinks I'm fat! [ Flicks food at him] Andie: And I can't eat in front of him! I can't eat in front of you! I have to go to the bathroom. Ben: [ Receives dirty looks from other customers] I don't thinks she's fat!
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Mimi: We took a vote and you lost.
[ Lucy starts undressing, then stops] Henry: What's wrong? Why are you stopping? Lucy Wagner: Henry, this isn't how I planned it would be. Henry: That's funny, because this is how I EXACTLY planned it to be!
Lucy Wagner: Is this it? Ben: No, but what if it was and I just really sucked at cheering people up?
Mimi: If I win this competition, I get a record deal!
Kit: Mimi, you're pregnant. What, are
you just gonna be some big fat pregnant superstar?
Lucy Wagner: All we have is now, and right now we have each other.
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Dean: If there is a greater power, why is it he can't get you a new sweater? Jamie: Because, he's too busy looking for your brain
Jamie: You know what I figured out today? Landon: What? Jamie: Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because
I'm sick. To help me through all this. You're my angel.
Landon: Right now you're straddling the state line Jamie: ok Landon: You're in two places at once
Jamie: You have to promise that you won't fall in love with me Landon: That's not a problem
Jamie: Are you trying to seduce me? Landon: Why? Are you seducible?
Dr. Carter: Landon don't walk away. Landon: You taught me how.
Landon: Are you scared? Jamie: To death... [ Landon looks upset] Jamie: Lighten up. Landon: It's not funny. Jamie: I'm scared of not being with you. Landon: Oh baby, that will never happen... I'm here.
Jamie: Without suffering there would be no compassion. Landon: Yeah, well tell that to those who suffer.
Jamie: would it kill you to try Landon: yup and I'm too young to die
Jamie: people can see Landon: and that would ruin your reputation how?
Landon: Jamie...I love you. [ long pause] Landon: Now would be the time to say something. Jamie: I told you not to fall in love with me.
Landon: Jamie saved my life. She taught me everything I know faith, hope and the long road ahead. I'll always miss her. Her love
is like the wind. I can't see it but I can feel it.
Clay Gephardt: You know what? I actually thought I wanted to be your friend. And now I have no idea why. No idea. Landon: I made that jump once. Thought I was a bad ass. I remember actually saying that I meant to belly-flop. Clay Gephardt: Did it hurt? Landon: Like hell. Clay Gephardt: Good.
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Robbie: All right, remember -- alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you!
Robbie: Are you drinking, too? Julia: No, it's Coca-Cola. Robbie: Are you sure? There's no rum in that Coca-Cola? Julia: I'm not a big drinker. And if it was, I'd probably be puking more than that kid! Robbie: Oh, I don't think anybody could puke more than than kid. I think I saw a boot come out of him
Holly: You know who else I think is sexy? Robbie Hart. Glenn: You think the "Time To Make The Doughnuts" guy is sexy.
Robbie: Now let's cut the stupid cake because I know the fat guy's gonna have a heart attack if we don't eat again soon. And while
we do that here's a little mood music for you.
Man: Hey, buddy, I'm not paying you to share your thoughts on life. I'm paying you to sing. Robbie: Well, I have a microphone, and you don't, so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!
Robbie: Hey. I kissed her, but it didn't mean anything, I just brought her the jacket. Glenn: Kissed who? Holly: Oh, me. Glenn: Who hasn't?
Glenn: [ After punching Robbie] You know, you should write a song about this. You could call it "I got hit in
the face for sticking my nose in other people's business". Old man in bar: Sounds like a country song!
Robbie: [ singing] I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad / Carry you around when your arthritis is bad / All
I wanna do is grow old with you. / I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches / build you a fire if the furnace breaks /
Oh it could be so nice, growin old with you. / I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold. / Need you, feed
you, I'll even let you hold the remote control. / So let me do the dishes in the kitchen sink / Put you to bed when you've
had too much to drink. / Oh I could be the man to grow old with you. / I wanna grow old with you.
Robbie: Once again, Things that could have been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!
Glenn's Buddy: Robbie Hart? I heard what happened to you at your wedding, that was so cold! You must've
felt like shit! Robbie: No it felt real good, thanks for bringing that up, man. Hey, my parents died when I was ten, would you like to talk
about that? Glenn's Buddy: Why would I wanna talk about that? Robbie: I don't know
Robbie: We're living in a material world and I am a material girl...or boy.
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Gracie Hart: You think I'm gorgeous, you want to kiss me...You want to hug me...You want to love me...You want to hug me...You want to
smooch me...You want to...
[ To models refusing pizza and beer.] Gracie Hart: It's lite beer, and she's gonna throw it up anyway.
Stan Fields: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date. Cheryl "Rhode Island": That's a tough one. I would have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light
jacket.
Gracie Hart: I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!
Victor Melling: The last time I saw a walk like that was in "Jurassic Park."
Stan Fields: And we'll be right back with our five final lesbians -- interviews!
Victor Melling: Why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"? Gracie Hart: Because "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" wouldn't fit on a license plate?
Stan Fields: What is the one most important thing our society needs? Gracie Hart: That would be... harsher punishment for parole violators, Stan. [ Crowd is silent.] Gracie Hart: And world peace! [ Crowd cheers ecstatically.] Stan Fields: Isn't she lovely! Thank you, Gracie Lou. Gracie Hart: And thank YOU, Stan. [ Gracie walks offstage.] Victor Melling: That was wonderful, are you drunk? Gracie Hart: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go unscrew my smile!
Gracie Hart: Look I know what I'm gonna do. I haven't done this since high school but it's like riding a bike. Victor Melling: You are not having sex on this stage. Gracie Hart: I didn't know that was an option.
Victor Melling: Your hair should make a statement. Gracie Hart: As long as it doesn't say 'Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'!
Victor Melling: I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.
[ Explaining why she was with a guy the night before] Gracie Hart: Yeah, I was dating him for a while because he told me he had an incurable disease... All Girls: ooh. Gracie Hart: Yeah, I didn't realize it was stupidity. Victor Melling: Glide! Glide! Don't pick your feet up. Don't, don't... Why are you picking your feet up? Gracie Hart: Because I'm preparing to run away!
Victor Melling: [ teaching Gracie how to glide] See? Glide. It's all in the buttocks. Don't I look pretty? Gracie Hart: It takes a very secure man to walk like that.
Gracie Hart: [ a taxi nearly runs Gracie over] Hey! I'm gliding here!
Cheryl "Rhode Island": My idea of a perfect date would be a man who takes me to a romantic dinner, and then we walk along the beach barefoot discussing
books and--and music and--and movies. Karen "New York": No wonder you're still a virgin.
Eric Matthews: This earpiece lets you hear anybody on our frequencies, and they can hear you. Gracie Hart: Don't need that, with all this foil in my hair I'm getting HBO.
Miss Hawaii: Oh I know and it's an honor to have made it this far, I mean especially when you come from such a small state, Cheryl "Rhode Island": Oh that's so true. Us Rhode Islanders... Miss Hawaii: Umm I wasn't finished. Did it sound like I was finished? Cheryl "Rhode Island": I'm sorry. I, Karen "New York": Big Deals, what are you apologizing to her for? She's obviously been drinking too much Coppertone.
Eric Matthews: You gotta admit, part of you is going to miss this. Gracie Hart: I know I am going to miss the heels because they do something for my posture. And suddenly very aware and proud of my
breasts. Eric Matthews: Funny, so am I.
Victor Melling: If I'd ever had a daughter, I imagine she might have been something like you...which is perhaps why I've never reproduced.
Cheryl "Rhode Island": Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me--she said they were Satan's
panties!
Eric Matthews: You also said you couldn't put her beautiful in a few days and look how gorgeous she is. I mean, comparing with the car
reck she was before...
Eric Matthews: You also said you couldn't put her beautiful in a few days and look how gorgeous she is. I mean, comparing with the car
reck she was before...
Victor Melling: The interview is the most important part of the pageant. It counts for 30 percent of your total score. Gracie Hart: What's the other 70 percent, cleavage?
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The Grinch: Those Whos are hard to frazzle, Max. But, we did our worst, and that's all that matters.
The Grinch: Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double Hate! LOATHE ENTIRELY!
Cindy Lou Who: Santa, don't forget the Grinch. I know he's mean and hairy and smelly, and his hands are cold and clammy, but I think he's
kinda... sweet. The Grinch: SWEET! ...You think he's sweet? [ Cindy runs upstairs] The Grinch: Cute kid, bad judge of character.
His answering machine greeting] The Grinch: If you utter so much as one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you want to fax me, press the star
key.
a taxicab passes him by] The Grinch: It's because I'm green isn't it?!
The Grinch: The nerve of those Whos! Inviting me down there--and on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn't allow
it. Four o'clock, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, jazzercize.
6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again! 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing; I'm booked! Of course, if I bump the
loathing to 9 I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would
I wear?!
The Grinch: One man's toxic waste is another man's potpourri. [ Max barks] The Grinch: I don't know, it's some kind of soup.
 Ace
Ventura - If I'm not back in five minutes...just wait longer!
Jafar:
You're speechless, I see! A fine quality in a wife!
Austin
- "Oh, there you are."
Stranger - "Do I know you?"
Austin - "No, but you're there!"
Dr.
Evil: You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke
of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough.
Austin
Powers: [About her skintight clothes.] How do you get into those pants?
Felicity Shagwell: Well you can start by buying
me a drink.
Number
Two: Dr. Evil, wouldn't it be easier to use your knowledge of the future to play the stock market? We could literally make
trillions!
Dr. Evil: Why make trillions when we could make... billions?
Sonny
Koufax: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love with a girl who makes plenty of it. She could be my sugar mamma.
Homeless
Guy: I gotta get me one of those.
Billy
Madison: Back to school! Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool! I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight,
I hope I don't get in a fight! Ohhhh, back to school! Back to school! Back to school! Well, here goes nothing!
Billy:
I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.
3rd
Grader: Hey look everybody, Billy peed his pants.
Billy: Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants.
It's the coolest!
3rd Grader: Really?
Billy: Yeah! You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants!
Old Farm Lady: If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me
Miles Davis.
Billy: That is the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. Let's Go!
Billy
Madison: Shampoo is better! I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better! I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh,
really, fool? Really! Stop looking at me, swan!
Virginia:
"What's this about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?" Happy: "I didn't *break* it, I was merely testing its
durability, and I *placed* it in the woods cause it's made of wood and I wanted it to be near its family."
Shooter
McGavin: "Stay out of my way, or you'll pay. Listen to what I say."
Happy Gilmore: "Yeah, why don't I go eat some hay.
I can make things out of clay, or lay by the bay, I just may. Whaddya say?"
Shooter
McGavern: "I eat pieces of sh** like you for breakfast."
Happy Gilmore: "You eat pieces of sh** for breakfast?!"
Shooter
McGavin: "Stay out of my way, or you'll pay. Listen to what I say."
Happy Gilmore: "Yeah, why don't I go eat some hay.
I can make things out of clay, or lay by the bay, I just may. Whaddya say?"
Miranda:
"ummm that was incredible. Was it good for you?"
Fletcher: "I've had better."
Fletcher:
"You scratched my car!"
Motor Pool Guy: "That was already there."
Fletcher: "YOU LIAR! You know what I'm going to
about this....Absolutely nothing, because if go to court, it'll just drain eight hours of my life I'll never get back, and
you'll probably stiff me anyway. So I'm just going to moan and complain like some impotent jerk, and take it up the tailpipe."
Motor Pool Guy: "You've been here before, haven't you?"
Cop:
"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Fletcher: "Depends on how long you were following me."
Cop: "Let's start from
the top."
Fletcher: "Here it goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some
more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at an intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running
a red light and SPEEDING!"
Cop: "Is that all?"
Fletcher: "No. ...I have unpaid parking tickets."
Receptionist:
"Do you like my new dress?"
Fletcher: "What ever takes the focus off your head!"
Fletcher:
"Your honor, I object!"
Judge: "And why is that, Mr. Reed?"
Fletcher: "Because it's devastating to my case!
Secretary:
"A burglar tried to break into my friend's house, fell through a skylight, and cut his leg on a knife on the kitchen counter.
He sued her and won $6,000. Is that justice?"
Fletcher: "No. I woulda got him ten."
Max
Reid: "My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside."
Fletcher: "That's just something ugly people say."
Fletcher:
*click click* deleted!
Jack
Byrnes: I mean, can you really trusy another human being, Greg?
Greg Focker: Yeah, I think so.
Jack Byrnes: No. The
answer is you can not.
Greg
Focker: You can milk just about anything with nipples.
Jack Byrnes: I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?
Bobby
Boucher: "Now that's what I call high quality H2O."
Bobby
Boucher: "My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush."
Lucy:
"The truth was that I fell in love with you. Yes, all of you. I went from being all alone to being a fiancee, a daughter,
a grandaughter, a sister, and a friend. I may have saved your life that day, but you really saved mine. You let me be a part
of your family. I haven't had that in a really long time."
Lucy:
"You don't have to walk me home."
Jack: "You block the wind."
Joe
Jr.: "O.K., Lucy, it's either me or him!"
Lucy: "Him."
Joe Jr.: "You don't have to answer right away."
[Filling
out a form.] Austin Powers: Name? Austin Danger Powers. Sex? Yes please!
Austin
Powers: That really hurt! I'm gonna have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a shoe? Honestly! You fight like a woman!
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