Purity Tests
So what is all this purity test business anyway? What do these results mean? Why am I here? What is the meaning of life?
Well, I can't answer all those questions for you, but I'll try at the purity test stuff.
A Purity Test is a set of question that estimates to what degree you have been corrupted by a lifestyle or activity. The first purity tests were of a sexual nature, gauging to what degree a test taker's life has been "corrupted" by sex.
To our purposes, we are trying to see how much marching band/drum corps OR colorguard has invaded your mind. It's all in fun, and just because you score differently than someone else does NOT make you better or worse -- simply more or less corrupted judging by the terms I and an occasional few others have laid out.
Well, as I just explained, they show you to what degree you have been corrupted. But some people have a hard time with the format of the results. It's like this: when you press the submit button after the test, presuming that you have honestly and accurately checked all the buttons by the questions you can answer "yes" to, you will get a page that says this:
You answered "yes" to 0 of 207 questions, making you 100.0% band/corps pure(0.0% band/corps corrupt); that is, you are 100.0% pure in the band/corps domain.
Everyone gets this page; the only difference is your own unique percentage of purity.
Now to interpret these results. Say you get a page with percentages like this, having said "yes" to 100 questions:
You answered "yes" to 100 of 207 questions, making you 51.79% band/corps pure(48.31% band/corps corrupt); that is, you are 51.79% pure in the band/corps domain.
This means that you have been 48.31% corrupted by marching band/drum corps. You still remain 51.79% untainted. Simple, ne?
You can interpret these results however you like. Some people are shocked that they scored so much more or so much less corrupt than they would have liked. Some strive to be 100% corrupt; others shun their corruptness and latch on to their purity like born-again virgins. Do whatever you like, but remember this: It's just a number. Don't let your corruptness or lack thereof bother you. We're all just having fun here.
Presumably it's because you didn't understand your score or what the hell I was trying to accomplish with this test. I hope that now you know, and if you still don't, feel free to mail me at mirnen@metallica.com with any other questions. I'll be more than happy to help.
Forty-two. Trust me.
Return to the Colorguard Purity Test