September 29, 2002:  Things you would never know if you did not
browse the tabloids while waiting for your wife at the counter in the
supermarket – today's headlines:

 
AL QAEDA BREEDING KILLER MOSQUITOES
                       WEST NILE VIRUS TERROR PLOT!

                                         [courtesy Weekly World News]

 
REPORT:  6,000 Bigfoot in North America!

                                         [courtesy National Examiner]
 


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Box 413                                                      The Columbus Book of Euchre
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    (270) 597-2187           Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher         Natty Bumppo, writer/editor




September 22, 2002:  Things you would never know if you did not
browse the tabloids while waiting for your wife at the counter in the
supermarket – today's headlines:

 
FATHER STRANGLES SON
           While teaching him to put on a tie!

                                         [courtesy Weekly World News]

 
Apple-shaped women are cancer prone

                                                                               [courtesy the Star]
 

COPS NAB RAINMAKER FOR DANCING NAKED

                                                                                                   [courtesy the Star]
 

and, this week's special, headline plus article excerpts:

THE AMISH GUIDE TO BETTER SEX

   Turn off all the lights in your house.  The  Amish  have no
electricity, which means every sexual encounter takes place
by romantic candlelight.

    Wear plain, modest clothing . . . all the more to intensify
the feeling of discovery when the clothing comes off. . . .

    Purchase some farm animals to keep around your yard.
The Amish are constantly around farm animals that are re-
producing.  This reinforces the fact that sex is natural . . . .

    Buy a butter churn.  When you see your partner churn-
ing away, it'll be an erotic sight that you won't soon forget.

                                                    [Weekly World News]
 
 
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Archives index                    
Borf Books        borf@borfents.com            Ideas for a Better America
Box 413                                                      The Columbus Book of Euchre
Brownsville KY 42210                   War Stories:  The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer

    (270) 597-2187           Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher         Natty Bumppo, writer/editor




September 15, 2002:  Things you would never know if you did not
browse the tabloids while waiting for your wife at the counter in the
supermarket – today's headlines (all courtesy Weekly World News
this week):

 
Coma drama!
  WIFE SELLS HUBBY'S ORGANS
        IN AUCTION ON LINE

 
DEAD SEA SCROLL FORESAW INTERNET
                  . . . and warns it will wipe out mankind !

 
Women outraged!
    PSYCHIC USES POWERS
     TO LIFT GALS' SKIRTS
 
 
and, this week's special, headline plus article excerpts:
 
GHOST HOOKERS HAUNT SEX SHOP
         'It's sexy, yet creepy!' says customer

   AMSTERDAM – Customers and professionals alike in Am-
sterdam's famed red light district  are  spooked  at  reports  of
vengeful prostitute spirits' wreaking havoc in one of the Nether-
lands' most popular sex shops.

    "Several times we have arrived at work . . . to find the whole
store in disarray," says Betje Valkenburg, owner of the Cuddly
Crypt.  "Lingerie, whips, sex toys . . . thrown around . . . .  We
close up at 2 a.m. and it's neat as a pin . . . ."

    Customers  also  report strange activities  – especially  single
males.     "I was browsing through the massage oil and lubricant
aisle . . . ,"  says Deehan Adema.   "I felt something nuzzling my
neck and stroking my thigh.   Then I distinctly heard a woman's
voice ask me if I wanted to have a good time. But there was no
one close to me . . . ."

    Valkenburg is considering enlisting a priest to perform an ex-
orcism, but she's having problems finding one willing to be seen
in the shop.
                                                             [Weekly World News]
 
 
Previous issue

Next issue

Archives index                    
Borf Books        borf@borfents.com            Ideas for a Better America
Box 413                                                      The Columbus Book of Euchre
Brownsville KY 42210                   War Stories:  The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer

    (270) 597-2187           Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher         Natty Bumppo, writer/editor




September 8, 2002:    Things you would never know if you did not
browse the tabloids while waiting for your wife at the counter in the
supermarket – today's headlines:

 
OPRAH HITS 275 lbs!
        BINGE EATING TURNS DEADLY

                              [courtesy National Enquirer]

 
SEX & THE CITY STAR HAS BRAIN TUMOR!

                                                                                      [courtesy the Star]

 
OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD

                                                  [courtesy National Examiner]
 

DISCUSSION GROUP:

       Don't forget!  Readers interested in intellectual dissection of
important current events are invited to attend the Weekly World
News Round Table at the offices of Borf Books outside Browns-
ville, Kentucky, just after church every Sunday.  Guest speakers
lined up for meetings in the near future include Osama bin Laden.
 

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Previous issue

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Archives index                    
Borf Books        borf@borfents.com            Ideas for a Better America
Box 413                                                      The Columbus Book of Euchre
Brownsville KY 42210                   War Stories:  The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer

    (270) 597-2187           Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher         Natty Bumppo, writer/editor