March 27, 2022:     Things you would never know if you did not
     browse the tabloids while waiting for your wife at the counter
     in the supermarket –“ this week's headlines
:

boobchmp.jpg Boobs taunt chest champ! Trolls taunt Annie Hawkins-Turner, woman with biggest tits in world (102ZZZ cup) (Enquirer)
boobchmp.jpg Boobs taunt chest champ! Trolls taunt Annie Hawkins-Turner, woman with biggest tits in world (102ZZZ cup) (Enquirer)

hed22034 World War III weeks away, Nuclear apocalypse over Ukraine (Enquirer); Putin survives Kremlin poison plot, Demented dictator's paranoia at all-time high, Why Ukraine invasion is last gasp to stay in power (Globe); Pete & Kim engaged! 2 days after judge rules on Kardashian divorce (In Touch); Country music qeens tell all! Faith: Divorce! Dolly: Affair! Carrie: Pregnant! (OK!); Queen Camilla's kinky past exposed (Globe); Mahlia, 23! Sasha, 20! Obama girls getting reality show (Globe); 50 years after M*A*S*H Alan Alda, 86 brave last days, bizarrre way he's battling Parkinson's (Examiner)
hed22034 World War III weeks away, Nuclear apocalypse over Ukraine (Enquirer); Putin survives Kremlin poison plot, Demented dictator's paranoia at all-time high, Why Ukraine invasion is last gasp to stay in power (Globe); Pete & Kim engaged! 2 days after judge rules on Kardashian divorce (In Touch); Country music qeens tell all! Faith: Divorce! Dolly: Affair! Carrie: Pregnant! (OK!); Queen Camilla's kinky past exposed (Globe); Mahlia, 23! Sasha, 20! Obama girls getting reality show (Globe); 50 years after M*A*S*H Alan Alda, 86 brave last days, bizarrre way he's battling Parkinson's (Examiner)

LETTERS to the EDITOR (including dumb news from Indiana):
Scott Dean wrote Mon 3/21/22 @15:06 EDT:
We adopted a street kitten (Maximus Decimus Meridius)
a few months back;  and,  looking for affordable options,
we found that Indy Feral would fix him for $12  –  but it
required clipping the top of his ear  so that he could be i-
dentified on the street as neutered.

After a couple of bad haircuts for my son, Parker James, I
decided it might be time to elevate him to a  better  barber.
I found one highly recommended in our  town  of  Carmel,
Indiana,  and made an appointment.

Parker was not pleased at the start because his barber was
a young scruffy guy, and not his previous well tanned 20-
something blonde with shapely body,

I was beside him getting my hair cut as well.  Suddenly  I
heard him scream,  "My ear!"  He brought his hand down
from his ear,  and it was  a  bloody  mess.  The barber had
clipped it with his razor.

The master barber came over, took over, and finished Park-
er's coif.     He asked Parker if he was OK at the end of the
cut.   Parker replied with the most serious face ever:  "Now
I'll never get the pretty girl barber – you clipped my ear; so
I guess I, too, have to get neutered."
Jeanetta Girard wrote Mon 3/21/22 @10:37 CDT:
Last week's quotation of the Wheat was the best ever.

Dumb news from Indiana
:
Our main "dumb news from Indiana" source now wants us to
pay for the stupidity.
                                              [discourtesy Columbus Republic]

rodrigoc.jpg South Bend's most wanted (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.): Rodrigo Chavero, HM, 6', 145 lbs, meth, paraphernalia; Reynaldo Garcia, HM, 5'10", 150 lbs, resid. entry; Summer White, WF, 5'2", 130 lbs, narcotics; Shane Wilson, WM, 5'6", 120 lbs, syringe, meth, paraph.
rodrigoc.jpg South Bend's most wanted (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.): Rodrigo Chavero, HM, 6', 145 lbs, meth, paraphernalia; Reynaldo Garcia, HM, 5'10", 150 lbs, resid. entry; Summer White, WF, 5'2", 130 lbs, narcotics; Shane Wilson, WM, 5'6", 120 lbs, syringe, meth, paraph.

Dumb news from Kentucky:
Security cameras at an automobile dealership in Nicholas-
ville captured late night catalytic converter thefts. . . .

Someone has been shooting cats with darts in a Jessamine
County neighborhood. . . .

A monkey tail skink was stolen from a pet store in Lexing-
ton.
                                                                    [courtesy LEX18]
romemudd.jpg Busted in Bardstown (Nelson County Gazette): Thomas Jerome Mudd, 54, Bardstown,criminal trespass; Lisa Ann Lewis, 49, Bardstown, no-show; Brandon Lee Jones, 28, Bardstown, DUI; Ashley Danielle Morley, 35, Bardstown, contempt; William Joseph Schmidt, 31, Lebanon, DWOL
romemudd.jpg Busted in Bardstown (Nelson County Gazette): Thomas Jerome Mudd, 54, Bardstown,criminal trespass; Lisa Ann Lewis, 49, Bardstown, no-show; Brandon Lee Jones, 28, Bardstown, DUI; Ashley Danielle Morley, 35, Bardstown, contempt; William Joseph Schmidt, 31, Lebanon, DWOL
Quotations of the week:
                                          "I thought that becoming a tennis pro would yield me a net gain,
                                           but it wasn't my racket."
                                                                                      – Richard Lederer

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said):

"Since I gave up on life and ever being happy, things
  have been going pretty good!" 

                                                              – Leonard Simon
Birthdays:
                      March 21:  Rosie O'Donnell, 60
                                        
Jair Bolsonaro, 67
                                         Solomon Burke (1940-2010)
                      March 22:  Reese Witherspoon, 46
                                         Andrew Lloyd Webber, 74
                                         Billy Collins, 81
                                         William Shatner, 91
                                         Pat Robertson, 92
                                         Stephen Sondhem (1930-2021)

                       March 23:  Gail Goodrich, 79
                                         Roger Bannister (1929-2018)
                       March 24:  Peyton Manning, 46
                                         Jesus Alou, 80
                                         Lawrence Ferlinghetti (1919-2021)
                       March 25:  Danica Patrick, 40
                                         Reginald Kenneth Dwight ("Elton John"), 75
                                         Anita Bryant, 82
                                         Gloria Steinem, 88
                                         Aretha Franklin (1942-2018)
                       March 26:  Charly McClain, 66
                                          Diana Ross, 78
                                          Bob Woodward, 79
                                          Erica Jong, 80
                                          Richard Dawkins, 81
                                          Nancy Pelosi, 82
                                          Mahmoud Abbas, 87
                                          Sandra Day O'Connor, 92
                                          Manuel Jeronimo Romero de Avila (1717-1779)
                        March 27:  Quentin Tarantino, 59
                                          Cale Yarborough, 83
Tabloid deadlines
:
                                Madeleine Albright, 84
                                Mrs. Hank Williams Jr., 58
                                Foo Fighter Taylor Hawkins, 50
nicolasp.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Nicolas Ponce, 21, joy riding; Whitney Smith, 35, drunk; Hailey Goynes, 20, marijuana; Myrtle Smith, 50, burglary; Mary Gatica, 24,cntrld. substs.; Destiny Arambula,39, parole violation; Zoe Watkins, 20, paraphernalia; William Condra, 24, mj
nicolasp.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Nicolas Ponce, 21, joy riding; Whitney Smith, 35, drunk; Hailey Goynes, 20, marijuana; Myrtle Smith, 50, burglary; Mary Gatica, 24,cntrld. substs.; Destiny Arambula,39, parole violation; Zoe Watkins, 20, paraphernalia; William Condra, 24, mj
Borf 's weekly BONUS:
                                          ifeltowr.jpg I fell
ifeltowr.jpg I fell
The Eiffel Tower grew 20 feet taller with the erection of  a  new  antenna.
. . . Jen Psaki, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama tested positive. . . . The
social media influencer Stepan (a 13-year-old cat) and his owners secured
safe passage from Kharkiv, Ukraine, to an apartment in France. . . . A mo-
torist in Florida was killed in a collision with an 11-foot alligator. . . . Don-
ald Trump sued Hillary Clinton for misbehavior with Russians.

                                                                                [courtesy Harper's, AP]

villastr.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas) Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week: David Villastrigo, HM, 5'9", 179 lbs, DUI; Debra Kay Marcom, WF, 5'3", 140 lbs, prob. viol. (fraud); Crystal Roe, HF, 48, 5'5", 120 lbs, pro. viol. (ctrld. substs.); Morgan Christina Williams, HF, 23, 5'5", 150 lbs., possession of ctrld. substs.
villastr.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas) Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week: David Villastrigo, HM, 5'9", 179 lbs, DUI; Debra Kay Marcom, WF, 5'3", 140 lbs, prob. viol. (fraud); Crystal Roe, HF, 48, 5'5", 120 lbs, pro. viol. (ctrld. substs.); Morgan Christina Williams, HF, 23, 5'5", 150 lbs., possession of ctrld. substs.
     andrewha.jpg Wanted in Waco (Texas, not Wacko, Arkansas): Andrew Michael Harrison, BM, 35, 6', 220 lbs, family assault; Jesse Davis, BM, 26, 5'10", 160 lbs, assault; Jerry Rhodes, BM, 43, 5'9", 235 lbs, EPO violation; Mantruze Nakebra Landrum, BM, 30, 5'8", 145 lbs, family assault; Roy William Sanders II, WM, 49, 5'11", 180 lbs, false emerg. report (City of Waco)
andrewha.jpg Wanted in Waco (Texas, not Wacko, Arkansas): Andrew Michael Harrison, BM, 35, 6', 220 lbs, family assault; Jesse Davis, BM, 26, 5'10", 160 lbs, assault; Jerry Rhodes, BM, 43, 5'9", 235 lbs, EPO violation; Mantruze Nakebra Landrum, BM, 30, 5'8", 145 lbs, family assault; Roy William Sanders II, WM, 49, 5'11", 180 lbs, false emerg. report (City of Waco)
Crossword puzzle clue of the week:
                                                            54A:  "Elton's John"
                    Answer:  LOO                                                        
[L.A. Times, 3/18/22]


 
DISCUSSION GROUP:

    Don't  forget!  Readers interested in intellectu-
al dissection of important current events are invi-
ted to attend the  Weekly World News Round Ta-
ble at the offices of Borf  Books outside Browns-
ville,  Kentucky,  just after church every  Sunday.
Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the  near
future include Ketanji Brown Jackson.
ketanjib.jpg

Eight ways to spell Carey Mulligan, Cari Champion, Carrie Johnson,
        Cary Grant, 
Harry CarayKeri Russell,  Kerri Pomarolli,  John
        Kerry.


lifemach.jpg Test your stupidity, inseert $100; Life Saver Dude: C'mon,Bozo, it's only a C-note, and you can use it to get welfare
lifemach.jpg Test your stupidity, inseert $100; Life Saver Dude: C'mon,Bozo, it's only a C-note, and you can use it to get welfare

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"Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment" – €“Karen Crockett


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Archives index
Borf Books       borf@borfents.com           Ideas for a Better America
Box 413                                                   The Columbus Book of Euchre
Brownsville KY 42210     War Stories:  The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer

  270-597-2187   Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher   Natty Bumppo, writer/editor



March 20, 2022:     Things you would never know if you did not
      browse the tabloids while waiting for your wife  at  the coun-
      ter in the supermarket  –   this week's headlines
  (this issue is
      brought to you by Miller's Lite):

hed22033.jpg Stars without makeup, Gwen Stefani, Kristen Bell, Rose Byrne, Tyra Banks, The good, the bad and the OMG! (Life & Style); Hollywood's happiest couples, Meryl & Tom 43 yrs, Kurt & Goldie 39, Mark & Pam 35, Mariska & Peter 17 (Closer); Tom Selleck, 77, working self into grave, Secret health crisis, Friends & family terrified, Shocking reason he won't qut (Examiner); Andrew flees Britain (Globe); 102 days in hiding, Why Meghan vanished (Globe); Meghan & Harry bosses from HELL! Thrreats, humiliation & filthy bathrooms, No eye contact or smal talk allowed (Star); (the rest courtesy National Enquirer)
hed22033.jpg Stars without makeup, Gwen Stefani, Kristen Bell, Rose Byrne, Tyra Banks, The good, the bad and the OMG! (Life & Style); Hollywood's happiest couples, Meryl & Tom 43 yrs, Kurt & Goldie 39, Mark & Pam 35, Mariska & Peter 17 (Closer); Tom Selleck, 77, working self into grave, Secret health crisis, Friends & family terrified, Shocking reason he won't qut (
Examiner); Andrew flees Britain (Globe); 102 days in hiding, Why Meghan vanished (Globe); Meghan & Harry bosses from HELL! Thrreats, humiliation & filthy bathrooms, No eye contact or smal talk allowed (Star); (the rest courtesy National Enquirer)

hed220332  Perv's pimp murdered, Who's killing Epstein witnesses? Is Ghislaine Maxwell next? It's the PITTS! Brad dues Angie in sour winery deal; Now it'll be just 'Kelly Brianne', Cranky Kelly cans 'Clarkson' surname, blames ex-husband Brandon Blackstock; Cher's brain trauma drama; Lawsuits Krush Kardashians; Goodbye Adele! Hello Britney?; Monster Putin's secrets revealed, $200 billion stash, crippling mentality, trail of blood, mistresses & love children
hed220332  Perv's pimp murdered, Who's killing Epstein witnesses? Is Ghislaine Maxwell next? It's the PITTS! Brad dues Angie in sour winery deal; Now it'll be just 'Kelly Brianne', Cranky Kelly cans 'Clarkson' surname, blames ex-husband Brandon Blackstock; Cher's brain traum
 drama; Lawsuits Krush Kardashians; Goodbye Adele! Hello Britney?; Monster Putin's secrets revealed, $200 billion stash, crippling mentality, trail of blood, mistresses & love children


LETTERS to the EDITOR:
Malachi wrote Sun 3/13/22 @13:00 CDT:
Quotation of the week?  More like quotation of the
year.   "
The school does not need to teach our chil-
dren how to do oral sex.  That’s my job."

Dumb news from Indiana:
The Asian needle ant, with a painful sting, was found in In-
diana by a Purdue University professor.

                                                   [courtesy Terre Haute Star]

A Shelby County farmer was hospitalized with a live hen
stuck in his butt.
                                            [courtesy Atlanta News Media]

A 21-year-old woman was found guilty in  Miami  County
of murdering a man whose body was found  in  Okie Pino-
kie
,  a wooded area near Peru (Ind.),  and
early performing
venue for the pop star Terrioke.
                                                    [courtesy Kokomo Tribune]
smalwood.jpg South Bend's most wanted (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.): Michael Perez, HM, 5'8", 150 lbs, domestic battery, syringe; Ricky Smallwood Jr., BM, 5'11", 200 lbs, synthetic ID; Courtney Vann, BM, 5'8", 210 lbs, theft; Tyshawn Brownlee-Kellogg, BM, 5'9", 140 lbs, felon w/firrearm, coke, marijuana; Steven Martin, BM, 5'6", 190 lbs, car theft; Scott Tracey, WM, 5'9", 155 lbs, c.s. comn. nuis.
smalwood.jpg South Bend's most wanted (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.): Michael Perez, HM, 5'8", 150 lbs, domestic battery, syringe; Ricky Smallwood Jr., BM, 5'11", 200 lbs, synthetic ID; Courtney Vann, BM, 5'8", 210 lbs, theft; Tyshawn Brownlee-Kellogg, BM, 5'9", 140 lbs, felon w/firrearm, coke, marijuana; Steven Martin, BM, 5'6", 190 lbs, car theft; Scott Tracey, WM, 5'9", 155 lbs, c.s. comn. nuis.
Dumb news from Kentucky:
Jarvis the Diplocat, 13, has become the Lexington Humane So-
ciety ambassador and has joined its Relax with Rover program.

 
                                                                         [courtesy Lex18]

        misspitb.jpg MISSING Our pit bull has gone missihng. His named[sic] is Bo. He is brown with white on his chest. He went missing from the Brownsville area on the night of March 4. His owner is Derek Funkhouser. Please call 20-268-7810 if found. He is very concerned and just wants to get Bo safely back at home where he belongs. Thank you.
                                         [on the Brownsville Post Office wall]
misspitb.jpg MISSING Our pit bull has gone missihng. His named[sic] is Bo. He is brown with white on his chest. He went missing from the Brownsville area on the night of March 4. His owner is Derek Funkhouser. Please call 20-268-7810 if found. He is very concerned and just wants to get Bo safely back at home where he belongs. Thank you.

You can meet the candidates  at  Capitol  Hill's  Annual  Bean
Supper at the Edmonson County Library in Brownsville on A-
pril 22.
                                                        [courtesy Edmonson News]

catalyti.jpg Lexington's most wanted (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers): Nicholas Slone, WM, 30, 5'8", 170 lbs, catal. converter thefts; Stacy Rison, WF, 41, 5'3", 140 lbs, mail theft; Adam Carter, WM, 26, 5'9", 180 lbs, catalytic converter thefts, shoplifting
catalyti.jpg Lexington's most wanted (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers): Nicholas Slone, WM, 30, 5'8", 170 lbs, catal. converter thefts; Stacy Rison, WF, 41, 5'3", 140 lbs, mail theft; Adam Carter, WM, 26, 5'9", 180 lbs, catalytic converter thefts, shoplifting
Quotations of the week:
                                         "Being an electrician was interesting, but I had to strip to make ends meet.
                                          I wasn't emotionally grounded for that,  and the work was  shocking  and
                                          revolting;  so they discharged me."
                                                                                                      – Richard Lederer


Quotations of the Wheat (Simon said):

"Clinical psychologists agree:  Deep-thinking intellectuals
  are not good in relationships.      I've  been  married  four
  times;  I must be a genius." 

                                                                       – Leonard Simon

Birthdays:
                   March 14:  Simone Biles, 25
                                      Maurice Joseph Micklewhite ("Michael Caine"), 89

                                      Quincy Jones, 89
                                      Kirby Puckett (1960-2006)

                    March 15:  Ryland Cooder, 75
                                     
Sylvester Stewart ("Sly Stone"), 76
                                      R
uth Bader Ginsburg (1933-2020)
                   March 16:  Jerry Jeff Walker (1942-2020)
                   March 17:  Stormy Daniels, 43
                                      Mia Hamm, 50
                                      Paul Kantner (1941-2016)
                   March 18:  Dana Elaine Owens ("Queen Latifah"), 52
                                     Geronimo Berroa, 57
                                     Charley Pride (1934-2020)
                   March 19:  
Sirhan Sirhan, 78
                                    
Ursula Andress, 86
                   March 20:  Holly Hunter, 64
                                     Carl Palmer, of Emerson, Lake and, 72
                                     Bobby Orr, 74
                                     Ranger Doug, 76
                                     Carl Reiner (1922-2020)
Tabloid deadlines
:
                                Congressman Don Young (R-Alaska), 88
                               William Hurt, 71

hargrove.jpg Nathan Hargrove, BM, 22, 6'2", 175 lbs, ag. assault; Latesha Marie Brown, WF, 33, 5'7", 190 lbs (Yorkshire hog), c.s.; Christian White, WM, 24, 5'7", 130 lbs, prob. vi. (fam. ass.); Shaneisha Williams, BF, 22, 5'5", 145 lbs, burglary; Dalton Lee Fields, WM, 29, 5'9", 175 lbs, burglary
texgirls.jpg Anna Leigh Pierce, WF, 29, 5'8", 135 lbs, prob. viol. (ctrl. subs.); Jeanette Lavelle Wolfe, WF, 39, 5'4", 160 lbs, c.s.; Charles Newby, WM, 20, 6'4", 315 lbs, prob. viol. (assault); Victoria Meercedes Gayton, HF, 31, 5'3", 135 lbs, prob. viol. (c.s.); Amy Padgett, WF, 25, 5'2", 125 lbs, prohibited substances in a correctional facility
yorkmens.jpg Shane Thomas Murphy, 31, 6'3", 150 lbs, prob. viol. (c.s.); Darius Marcel Dever, 35, 6', 170 lbs., ass.; Kayla L. Jones, BF, 33, 5'3", 230 lbs (Yorkshire hog), controlled substances; Shastevia Cook, BF, 37, 5'6", 135 lbs, theft; Armando Elizondo III, HM, 42, 6'1", 290 lbs, family assault; Bruce Lee Kelly, WM, 22, 5'7", 135 lbs, probation violation (controlled substances)
hargrove.jpg Nathan Hargrove, BM, 22, 6'2", 175 lbs, ag. assault; Latesha Marie Brown, WF, 33, 5'7", 190 lbs (Yorkshire hog), c.s.; Christian White, WM, 24, 5'7", 130 lbs, prob. vi. (fam. ass.); Shaneisha Williams, BF, 22, 5'5", 145 lbs, burglary; Dalton Lee Fields, WM, 29, 5'9", 175 lbs, burglary
texgirls.jpg Anna Leigh Pierce, WF, 29, 5'8", 135 lbs, prob. viol. (ctrl. subs.); Jeanette Lavelle Wolfe, WF, 39, 5'4", 160 lbs, c.s.; Charles Newby, WM, 20, 6'4", 315 lbs, prob. viol. (assault); Victoria Meercedes Gayton, HF, 31, 5'3", 135 lbs, prob. viol. (c.s.); Amy Padgett, WF, 25, 5'2", 125 lbs, prohibited substances in a correctional facility
yorkmens.jpg Shane Thomas Murphy, 31, 6'3", 150 lbs, prob. viol. (c.s.); Darius Marcel Dever, 35, 6', 170 lbs., ass.; Kayla L. Jones, BF, 33, 5'3", 230 lbs (Yorkshire hog), controlled substances; Shastevia Cook, BF, 37, 5'6", 135 lbs, theft; Armando Elizondo III, HM, 42, 6'1", 290 lbs, family assault; Bruce Lee Kelly, WM, 22, 5'7", 135 lbs, probation violation (controlled substances)
Crossword puzzle clue of the week:
                                                          126A:  "Passenger leaving Edinburgh Airport"
        Answer:  PARTINGSCOT                                                                                   [L.A. Times, 3/13/22]

Borf 's weekly BONUS:
Kamala Harris' husband tested positive (and did she not accuse him
of sleeping with Queen Elizabeth?).  . . . The Senate,  without oppo-
sition,  passed a bill to effect Daylight Saving Time the year around.
.  .  .  The American Kennel Club listed the Labrador retriever as the
country's  most  popular  dog,  for the 31st time; the French bull dog
and the golden retriever came in second and third,  respectively.  . . .
A 65-year-old Florida woman known as the Hugging Bandit  was ar-
rested  for  pretending  to  recognize men on the street,  giving  them
hugs and picking their pockets. . . .The assistant principal of a Missi-
ssippi grade school was fired for reading the children's book I  Need
a New Butt to second graders on Zoom.  .  .  .  Americans who agree
with Time magazine's selection of Elon Musk  as 2021 person of the
year:  3 of 10. . . .  Percentage of people who have never used the in-
ternet: 37. . . . An emergency crew rescued a cat from the rubble of a
missile strike in Kharkiv, Ukraine.
                                                           [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

zacheryd.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Zachery James Darby, WM, 37, 6'1", 220 lbs, injury to child; Michael Lee Self, WM, 32, 6', 170 lbs, burglary (Abilene Crime Stoppers)
zacheryd.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Zachery James Darby, WM, 37, 6'1", 220 lbs, injury to child; Michael Lee Self, WM, 32, 6', 170 lbs, burglary (Abilene Crime Stoppers)
Dear Eleanor:
                            Ten years ago I fell  in  love  with  Brandon
                            and  had the two happiest years  of  my  life.
                            Then  I found out he'd been having sex  with
                            another co-ed.   His deception and his words
                            put a stop to any fantasies of reconciliation.

                            I then began a relationship with Travis,  and
                            we remain together.   We've had our ups and
                            downs, but I know he loves me  and our val-
                            ues align.

                            But I have never been able to get over Bran-
                            don.   I know it's absurd,  but he and I have
                            been  in  sporadic  contact  through  mutual
                            friends.  He married the co-ed,  a manipula-
                            tor who has made it clear she  doesn' t want
                            to hear  my  name.  The life he leads now is
                            not one I would want for myself.   I've been
                            told that Brandon would like to see me, just
                            as a friend; but he has made no move to ini-
                            tiate contact.  I ought to know better than to
                            believe it, but I feel a pain at the core of my
                            body whenever I think of him.   Tears come
                            to my eyes when I recall the joy we had.

                            I love Travis,  but I don't feel for him what I
                            felt for Brandon.   Travis doesn't deserve di-
                            vided affections.  Am I doing a disservice to
                            him by ignoring these persistent feelings? Is
                            it realistic to want that joy again?
                                                                                    Unhealed

Dear Heal:
                        I hear there's a guy just up the road from you
                        named Throckmorton who can make you for-
                        get about both of them.

lonnieh2.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Lonnie Haley, 59, trespass; Alicia Lott, 20, marij.; Matthew Campbell, 21, marij.; Rosie Hedrick, 28, paraphernalia; John Baker, 61, assault; Maria Asebedo, 48, theft; Taylor Cambre, 41, ch. pornography; Carly Hodges, 30, forgery; Billie Griggs, 33, mental
lonnieh2.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Lonnie Haley, 59, trespass; Alicia Lott, 20, marij.; Matthew Campbell, 21, marij.; Rosie Hedrick, 28, paraphernalia; John Baker, 61, assault; Maria Asebedo, 48, theft; Taylor Cambre, 41, ch. pornography; Carly Hodges, 30, forgery; Billie Griggs, 33, mental
DISCUSSION GROUP:

        Don't  forget!    Readers interested in intellectual dissection of
important current events are invited to   attend   the  Weekly  World
News  Round  Table  at the offices of Borf Books  outside  Browns-
ville,  Kentucky,  just after church every Sunday.    Guest   speakers
lined up for meetings in the near future include Elon Musk.



HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE:


      Remember, if you don't want to receive any more of this inane crap,
just hit your "Reply" button and type in the subject line, "GET THESE
TABLOID HEADLINES OUT OF MY LIFE AND FUCK OFF!"

      But  remember  also,  you  have  to  spell and punctuate the message
exactly as it appears above €“ without quotation marks,  and  without  that
redundant  "Re: "  that  appears in so many subject lines  or  you'll  keep
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cial filter to detect that.)


lifefood.jpg And she wouldn't refill the food bowl until all of yesterday's dried up food was eaten! Life Saver Dude: Since when to cats gripe about not being fed at all?
lifefood.jpg And she wouldn't refill the food bowl until all of yesterday's dried up food was eaten! Life Saver Dude: Since when to cats gripe about not being fed at all?

"Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment" – €“
Karen Crockett


Previous issue

Next issue

Archives index
Borf Books       borf@borfents.com           Ideas for a Better America
Box 413                                                   The Columbus Book of Euchre
Brownsville KY 42210     War Stories:  The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer

  270-597-2187   Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher   Natty Bumppo, writer/editor



March 13, 2022:     Things you would never know if you did not
      browse the tabloids while waiting for your wife  at  the coun-
      ter in the supermarket –“ this week's headlines
:


hed22032.jpg Michelle running for Prrez (Globe); Caitlyn Jenner boob lift @71 (Globe); Queen abandons sex creep Andrew, teen accuser wins $20 million, Queen refuses to pay, takes lodge & leaves him homeless (Enquirer)); Meghan & Harry: Is it DIVORCE? Falling apart after two years (OK); Kate & William's family crisis, Prince George, 8, bullied by classmates (IT);
hed22032.jpg Michelle running for Prrez (Globe); Caitlyn Jenner boob lift @71 (Globe); Queen abandons sex creep Andrew, teen accuser wins $20 million, Queen refuses to pay, takes lodge & leaves him homeless (Enquirer)); Meghan & Harry: Is it DIVORCE? Falling apart after two years (OK); Kate & William's family crisis, Prince George, 8, bullied by classmates (IT);

LETTERS to the EDITOR:
J. Ewing wrote Weds 3/9/22 @17:17 EST:
After we get "the" Ukraine reappointed to its God-desig-
nated position in the Eastern Hemisphere, tell China that
if they take out Putin,   and as long as they leave Taiwan
alone,  they can have back the parts of Russia  that were
part of the Mongolian Empire.

Then we give Alaska back to the indigenous people there,
a good part of California and Texas back to Mexico, and
let the Native Americans have North California, Washing-
ton, Oregon, Idaho, Wyoming, both Dakotas, most of the
plains and the Appalachians, plus all National Parks.  

Then we give the Louisiana Purchase back to the Cajuns
and let Canada take over the Great Lakes  and New Eng-
land.  We don't have to worry about Florida, as it will be
totally under water before long.  We turn D.C. into a his-
torical site, commemorating the failure of the white race'
attempt at "democracy."

Then  we  send those trouble-making  Scottish,  Irish  and
British back where they came from and have a UN/NATO
force patrol the islands as a permanent white penal colony.

We then let the EU countries coalesce  into a peaceful fed-
eration emphasizing cuisine, fashion, etiquette and the arts.
They will, of course, absorb Moscow and St. Petersburg to
enhance the art world.

Germany and places like Finland, Norway, Sweden, Swit-
zerland can teach us socialism and how to be  really  tidy
and generally get along better.

Spain, Italy, Greece and the Mediterranean countries  can
focus on being tourist/vacation destinations  and  toss out
the Catholics and turn the Vatican into an art museum.

Need yet to figure out what to do with Muslim, Jewish and
Buddhist states – maybe turn them into tourist destinations
for the religiously stupid?   Same with Indochina.

Russia can have a small landlocked piece of Siberia surroun-
ded by everyone else.

Then we'll start on the Southern Hemisphere.  Whaddya think?
Dumb news from Indiana:
Bartholomew County Citizens Concerned About Commer-
cial Solar Fields formed to seek a  halt  to  construction  of
large solar energy plants until the community could discuss
cuss their impact.
                                               [courtesy Columbus Republic]

Firemen rescued a 17-year-old boy from a tree in Indianap-
olis where he was trying to retrieve a cat.
                                                                    [courtesy LEX18]
morgnrob.jpg South Bend's most wanted (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.): Robert Mogan, BM, 6'0", 175 lbs, dom. bat.; Noah Crowley, WM, 5'11", 165 lbs, armed robbery; Jeanica Maggart, WF, 5'1", 115 lbs, meth, syringe; Dylan Simons, WM, 5'5", 130 lbs, armed robbery; Rickey Long, WM, 5'9", 170 lbs, syringe
riancole.jpg Rian Cole, WM, 5'9", 130 lbs, meth; Anthony Smith, BM, 6'0", 160 lbs, carrying gun w/o lic.; Aidan a/k/a Alden Aguilar, WM, 5'8", 150 lbs, meth; Nicole Booker, BF, 5'7", 180 lbs, intimidation; Titus Larkin, BM, 5'6", 155 lbs, domestic battery
morgnrob.jpg South Bend's most wanted (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.): Robert Mogan, BM, 6'0", 175 lbs, dom. bat.; Noah Crowley, WM, 5'11", 165 lbs, armed robbery; Jeanica Maggart, WF, 5'1", 115 lbs, meth, syringe; Dylan Simons, WM, 5'5", 130 lbs, armed robbery; Rickey Long, WM, 5'9", 170 lbs, syringe

iancole.jpg Rian Cole, WM, 5'9", 130 lbs, meth; Anthony Smith, BM, 6'0", 160 lbs, carrying gun w/o lic.; Aidan a/k/a Alden Aguilar, WM, 5'8", 150 lbs, meth; Nicole Booker, BF, 5'7", 180 lbs, intimidation; Titus Larkin, BM, 5'6", 155 lbs, domestic battery
Dumb news from Kentucky:
A bill to prohibit hair discrimination in the workplace –
the CROWN Act ("Create a respectful and open world
for  natural") was approved in committee at the state
House of Representatives.
                                                            [courtesy LEX18]
lolitann.jpg Busted in Bardstown (Nelson County Gazette): Lolita Ann Simonton, 41, Brandenburg, fail. to show; Cameron Rashad Tolliver, 21, Louisville, receivg. stolen prop.; Kristy Rose Martin, 32, Bardstown, heroin, paraphernalia; Chadd Michael Shannon, 41, Bardstn., contempt of court; Devon Raye Elliott, 27, Springfield, probation violation
lolitann.jpg Busted in Bardstown (Nelson County Gazette): Lolita Ann Simonton, 41, Brandenburg, fail. to show; Cameron Rashad Tolliver, 21, Louisville, receivg. stolen prop.; Kristy Rose Martin, 32, Bardstown, heroin, paraphernalia; Chadd Michael Shannon, 41, Bardstn., contempt of court; Devon Raye Elliott, 27, Springfield, probation violation
Lexington vodka distiller  expressed concern that the
prohibition of Russian vodka is causing people to avoid
vodka in general, thinking that all of it comes from Rus-
sia.

Quotations of the week
:

                                            "I have the biggest dick in Chicago."
                                                                                                            Mayor Lori Lightfoot
        "I tried selling cigarette lighters, but I lost my spark."
                                                                                                  – Richard Lederer
        "The school does not need to teach our children how
          to do oral sex.  That's my job."
                                                             – An angry Fairfax County, Idaho, parent protesting
                                                                a library book,
Gender Queer: A Memoir
        "Shit happens."
                                    – A Bronx man's remark to police who arrested him for
                                       rubbing feces in a woman's face at a subway stop
Birthdays:
                  March 7:  Janet Guthrie, 84
                  March 8:  Margaret Annemarie Battavio ("Little Peggy March"), 74
                                   Micky Dolenz, 77
                                   Carl Furillo (1922-1989)
                                  Tula Finklea ("Cyd Charisse," 1922-2008)

                 March 9:   Robin Trower, 77
                                   Mickey Gilley, 86
                                   Bobby Fischer (1943-2008)
                                   Yuri Gagarin (1934-1968)
                                   Lloyd Price (1933-2021)
                                   Dorothy Keely ("Keely Smith," 1928-2017)
                                   Frank Morison "Mickey" Spillane (1918-2006)

              March 10:  Edie Brickell, 56
                                    Prince Edward, 58
                                    Chuck Norris, 82
                                    Norman Blake, 84
                                    Osama bin Laden (1957-2011)
                                    Ralph Emery (1933-2022)
                                    James Earl Ray (1928-1998)
                  March 11:  César Gerónimo, 74
                                     Sam Donaldson, 88
                                     Rupert Murdoch, 91
                  March 12:  James Taylor, 74
                                     Liza Minnelli, 76
                                     Andrew Young, 90
                   March 13:  Neil Sedaka, 83

Tabloid deadlines
:
                                Bobbie Nelson, 91
                                Emilio Delgado, 81

Crossword puzzle clue of the week:
                                                             5D:  "Capital of Ukraine"

                    Answer:  KIEV                                                              [Mini Crossword, 3/5/22]
hujingem.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Victor Ross Chappell, WM, 49, 6'4", 185 lbs, aggravated robbery; Emily Renae Hujing, a/k/a Emily Davis, WF, 36, 5', 114 lbs, endang. a child; Roberta Louise Comfort, WF, 46, 5'4", 140 lbs, probation violation (aggravated burglary); Lorenzo Lamar Walker, BM, 41, 5'5", 185 lbs, burglary, dom. battery (Sedgwick County (Kans.) Sheriff)
hujingem.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Victor Ross Chappell, WM, 49, 6'4", 185 lbs, aggravated robbery; Emily Renae Hujing, a/k/a Emily Davis, WF, 36, 5', 114 lbs, endang. a child; Roberta Louise Comfort, WF, 46, 5'4", 140 lbs, probation violation (aggravated burglary); Lorenzo Lamar Walker, BM, 41, 5'5", 185 lbs, burglary, dom. battery (Sedgwick County (Kans.) Sheriff)
Borf 's weekly BONUS:     
A man in Singapore was attacked by a herd of about 20 otters  and suffer-
ed 26 bites in 10 seconds after another man ran into them head first.  .  .  .
A dentist in Italy  was  charged  with fraud  for offering a health worker a
silicone prosthetic arm for a Covid-19 vaccination. . . . The parliaments of
Cuba, Nicaragua and Mexico  rank  2nd, 3rd and 4th in the world,  respec-
tively, in  gender  parity,  while the U.S. Congress ranks 72nd  (Rwanda is
first). .  .  .  A screening of the new movie The Batman was paused when a
bat entered the theater in Austin, Texas. . . . A box of human heads collect-
ed for research was stolen  from  a  medical  van in Denver, Colorado. . . .
Two men were killed by a camel at a petting zoo in Obion, Tennessee, and
the camel was put down.
                                                                    [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

larssony.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Cole Larsson, 24, improper rel.w/student; Kristen Webb, 33, joy ride, ctrld.substs.; Brandon Dandoval, 21,mj; Lamisha Whittmore, 32, cr. trespass; Brandon Foreman, 28, mj.; Maarcella Herrera, 40, marijuana; Beth Sanchez, 32, speeding; Jacob Wietng, 20, marijuana
larssony.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Cole Larsson, 24, improper rel.w/student; Kristen Webb, 33, joy ride, ctrld.substs.; Brandon Dandoval, 21,mj; Lamisha Whittmore, 32, cr. trespass; Brandon Foreman, 28, mj.; Maarcella Herrera, 40, marijuana; Beth Sanchez, 32, speeding; Jacob Wietng, 20, marijuana

Dear Eleanor:

                            My husband has this nasty habit of peeing outdoors
                            whenever  and  wherever  he feels the urge – in the
                            yard, in the driveway, off the deck – and my lovely
                            little puppy just whines for mercy  when he does it.
                            I think the pup may have penis envy. What am I to
                            do?

                                                                            LoveMyLittleDoggie
Dear DoggieLove:

                                  I know several other women with this problem.
                                  Some  of  them  masturbate  their little doggies
                                  when this happens.   Some of them seem to en-
                                  joy this even as much as their doggies do.


Unopened e-mail last week included a message from "Clutterbook"
        "Facebook" titled "Doo Wop & 50s/60s Oldies" and 3 others are
        new group suggestions for you.



DISCUSSION GROUP:

        Don't  forget!    Readers interested in intellectual dissection of
important current events are invited to   attend   the  Weekly  World
News  Round  Table  at the offices of Borf Books  outside  Browns-
ville,  Kentucky,  just after church every Sunday.    Guest   speakers
lined up for meetings in the near future include J. Ewing.


lifebeer.jpg Bar for senior drinkers Life Saver Dude: Or just call it the men's room
lifebeer.jpg Bar for senior drinkers Life Saver Dude: Or just call it the men's room

"Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment" – €“Karen Crockett


Previous issue

Next issue

Archives index
Borf Books       borf@borfents.com           Ideas for a Better America
Box 413                                                   The Columbus Book of Euchre
Brownsville KY 42210     War Stories:  The Memoirs of a Country Lawyer

  270-597-2187   Hank T. Hebhoe, publisher   Natty Bumppo, writer/editor



March 6, 2022:     Things you would never know if you did not
      browse the tabloids while waiting for your wife at the coun-
      ter in the supermarket –“ this week's headlines
:


hed22031.jpg Rated worst veep in modern history, Kamala Harris D.C.'s Queen of Mean, Why Joe Biden is afraid of her, Top staffers qut (Enquirer); Gwen Stefani going bald (Enquirer); Arnold vs. Sly, Their macho feud (Examiner); Charles' cruel wife leaves Kate in tears, Queen Camilla's vicious revenge, Takes royal jewels, Slashes cash allowances, Imposes humiliating rules (Globe); Prince William on turning 40: Feuds, family honoring Diana, Why he;ll never forgive Hary, His affair & promise to Kate, What he really thinks of Camilla (US Weekly); Harry vs. the Queen, Fight erupts over his tell-all book (In Touch Weekly)
hed22031.jpg Rated worst veep in modern history, Kamala Harris D.C.'s Queen of Mean, Why Joe Biden is afraid of her, Top staffers qut (Enquirer); Gwen Stefani going bald (Enquirer); Arnold vs. Sly, Their macho feud (Examiner); Charles' cruel wife leaves Kate in tears, Queen Camilla's vicious revenge, Takes royal jewels, Slashes cash allowances, Imposes humiliating rules (Globe); Prince William on turning 40: Feuds, family honoring Diana, Why he;ll never forgive Hary, His affair & promise to Kate, What he really thinks of Camilla (US Weekly); Harry vs. the Queen, Fight erupts over his tell-all book (In Touch Weekly)
hed220312.jpg

LETTERS to the EDITOR:
Mia Grenda wrote Weds 2/23/22 @18:38 CST:
I’ve got a video for you today that I *know* you’re going to love.  It’s a
free presentation of a BRAND NEW way that shows you how to get any
girl turned on, attracted to you and BEGGING to be sleep with you.


In just SECONDS.

You can use this on a girl you’ve just met.

Or you can use it on one you’ve known for ages.

The choice is yours.

Click here to watch.

Oh,  and the best part is,  this is 100% rejection-proof.  So if you've ever
been scared to make your move because she might shoot you down,
then
this is for you.
  Go ahead right now and

Watch the video.

After you do, you’ll never have to spend another night alone.

Unless you want to.

Dumb news from Indiana:
rosscoat.jpg SouthBend's most wanted (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.): Ross Coats, WM, 6'2", 240 lbs, burglary, fraud, tresspass; Denny Cormican, WM, 5'9", 150 lbs, coke, marij., paraphernalia; Coley Mayersky, WM, 6'0", 150 lbs, marijuana; William Merriweather, BM, 6'0", 265 lbs, meth
rosscoat.jpg SouthBend's most wanted (Michiana Crime Stoppers Inc.): Ross Coats, WM, 6'2", 240 lbs, burglary, fraud, tresspass; Denny Cormican, WM, 5'9", 150 lbs, coke, marij., paraphernalia; Coley Mayersky, WM, 6'0", 150 lbs, marijuana; William Merriweather, BM, 6'0", 265 lbs, meth

Four high school girls in Russiaville said they turned to vaping
because they were stressed.

                                                         [courtesy Kokomo Tribune]


Dumb news from Kentucky:
A state senator introduced a resolution to keep state liquor stores
from selling Russian vodka.
 
               
                                                            [courtesy LEX18]


titanama.jpg Lexington's most wanted: TitanaMayhorn, BF, 33, 5'5", 130 lbs, burglary at the Mall Food Ct; Armed & dangerous, Robeon Downs, BM, 21, 5'9", 145 lbs, wanton endangerment, receiving stolen prop., criminal mischief (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)
titanama.jpg Lexington's most wanted: TitanaMayhorn, BF, 33, 5'5", 130 lbs, burglary at the Mall Food Ct; Armed & dangerous, Robeon Downs, BM, 21, 5'9", 145 lbs, wanton endangerment, receiving stolen prop., criminal mischief (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)
Quotations of the week:
                                       "He's OK."
                                                           – Jadwiga Adamus Bumppo,
                                                              asked  while  watching the
                                                              news on TV from Ukraine,
                                                              "Do you like Putin?"

        "I became a personal trainer in a gym, but I wasn't fit for the
          job."
                      – Richard Lederer
jadwigag.jpg






        "I have the reputation of being the biggest racist in the country.  What
          are you clapping for?"
                                                –Joe Arpaio, at the America First Political Action Conference

        "I'll get away with it because I'm white."
                                                                            – Tammer Megan Lee, Nashville, Tenn., to a

                                                                               black policeman who arrested her for DUI

Crossword puzzle clue of the week:
                                                            32A:  "Pounds"
                 Answer:  QUID                                                    [
New Yorker 3/2/22]
richards.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Andrew Christian Richardson, WM, 34, 5'8", 185 lbs, theft, dom. battery; Regina Denise Evans, BF, 56, 5'2", 110 lbs, aggravated batery; Bryce Owen Robertson, WM, 21, 5'10", 140 lbs, ag. assault, opiates (Sedgwick County Kans. Sheriff)
richards.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Andrew Christian Richardson, WM, 34, 5'8", 185 lbs, theft, dom. battery; Regina Denise Evans, BF, 56, 5'2", 110 lbs, aggravated batery; Bryce Owen Robertson, WM, 21, 5'10", 140 lbs, ag. assault, opiates (Sedgwick County Kans. Sheriff)
Birthdays:
                   February 28:  Bernadette Peters, 74
                                         Mario Andretti, 82
                                         Henry the Young King (1155-1183)
                   March 1:  Justin Bieber, 28
                                   Ron Howard, 68
                                   Roger Daltrey, 78
                                   Harry Belafonte, 95

                    March 2:  Mikhail Gorbachev, 91
                                    Karen Carpenter (1950-1983)

                                    Howard "Hopalong" Cassady (1934-2019)
                    
March 3:  Jessica Biel, 40
                                     Doc Watson (1923-2012)
                     March 4:  Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini, 61
                     March 5:  Penn Jillette, 67
                                     Andy Gibb (1958-1988)
                                     Del Crandall (1930-2021)
                                     Chou En-lai (1898-1976)
                     March 6:  Shaquille O'Neal, 50
                                     Pauline Matthews ("
Kiki Dee"), 75
                                     Alan Greenspan, 96

 Tabloid deadlines
:
                                Alan Ladd Jr., 84

Borf 's weekly BONUS:     
Neither  Kentucky  nor Indiana made Best Life magazine's list of the 25
rudest states. . . . The Food & Drug Administration approved a condom
for anal sex. . . .   Kim Karsashian was declared by a judge to be legally
single. . . . A toddler in Georgia was diagnosed with  "uncombable  hair
syndrome
." . . . The  Fédération  Internationale  Féline  banned  Russian
cats
from international competition.
                                                              
[courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

joseagui.jpg Loccked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Jose Aguilar, WM, 25, c.s.; Rebecca Comstock, WF, 38, car theft; Margarita Rodriguez, WF, 25, walking w/traffic; Michael Peerales, WF, 39, public drunk; Ruby Lopez, WF, 30, DUI; Laauren Tucker, WF, 18, fam. assault; Hannah Walter, WF, 22, mobery; Antonio Rivera, WM, 45, paraph.
joseagui.jpg Loccked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County, Texas, Sheriff): Jose Aguilar, WM, 25, c.s.; Rebecca Comstock, WF, 38, car theft; Margarita Rodriguez, WF, 25, walking w/traffic; Michael Peerales, WF, 39, public drunk; Ruby Lopez, WF, 30, DUI; Laauren Tucker, WF, 18, fam. assault; Hannah Walter, WF, 22, mobery; Antonio Rivera, WM, 45, paraph.
Dear Eleanor:
                            I'm 18 and a senior in high school.  I've been with my boy
                            friend,  Mike,  for a year;  and I love him  more  than  any-
                            thing.  But my friends feel differently. They find him loud
                            and rude. Mike thinks they are immature

                            Mike makes an effort to get along, but my friends make it
                            really difficult.  They don't want to be around him, and the
                            feeling is mutual.   This hurts me tremendously.   The part
                            that  really  burns  me  is  that my friends' boy friends treat
                            them like dirt,  yet they think I'm the one with a lousy rela-
                            tionship.

                            This is putting stress on me  and often results in arguments
                            with all of them.  I plan to be with Mike a long time,  and I
                            also want to keep my best friends.  How do I do this?

                                                                                        Trying to Be the Glue

Dear Trybaby:
                              It's Mike or them; choose.

nyorkerrn "Are you sure you want to present your motion to the judge as an airplane?" "Up his butt." (New Yorker, Stephen Yates)
nyorkerrn "Are you sure you want to present your motion to the judge as an airplane?" "Up his butt." (New Yorker, Stephen Yates)

The sports:
                    Major League baseball's opening day was canceled.


DISCUSSION GROUP:

    Don't  forget!  Readers interested in intellectu-
al dissection of important current events are invi-
ted to attend the  Weekly World News Round Ta-
ble at the offices of Borf  Books outside Browns-
ville,  Kentucky,  just after church every  Sunday.
Guest speakers lined up for meetings in the  near
future include Volodymyr Zelensky.

volodymy.jpg

lifebean.jpg BAKED BEANS The real reason behind global warning Life Saver Dude: "Blame 'em!"
lifebean.jpg BAKED BEANS The real reason behind global warning Life Saver Dude: "Blame 'em!"

"Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment" – €“Karen Crockett


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