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<Sigh> Things have gotten really out of control out there. Okay, here's the situation. I was on a newsgroup that's about PSP tutorials. When I want new ideas for things to do graphically I go looking for tutorials and whatnot. That's how I got the buttons for the frames version, well the idea for it anyway. Someone posted the results of a tutorial they'd done. They didn't bother with a link. So I did a Webferret search and found the link and posted it to the newsgroup. When I went back to the group later, I was surprised by something in one of the reply messages. The person who runs the site doesn't want people to access her tutorials via newsgroup or e-mail links.
Huh?
Okay maybe I'm an idiot but this is, well, ridiculous not to mention completely counterintuitive. This is the internet for Pete's sake. It only works via links. Whether the links are in a newsgroup or e-mail message or in a webpage is immaterial. How is it that you're violating someone's copyright by posting a link? I can see if someone sent the webpage itself via e-mail. That draws resources from the site and can cost the person who's hosting the site money, and taking a tutorial and posting it as though YOU wrote it is just plain wrong. But not wanting people to come to their site via e-mail or newsgroup link? Really! A link is a link is a link. Where it comes from makes no difference it does the same thing: it points the browser to the website in question. If you don't want people seeing your work it shouldn't be on the internet in the first place. Otherwise to specify from where the link is allowed to come from is just plain silly. Some of these folks should really take time to learn and understand the nature of the media they are using before trying to set terms for its use.
While I'm on the subject of tutorials and ridiculous terms of use, here's another thing that irks the hell out of me. Okay, someone writes a tutorial. You see the tutorial and decide to try it out. You use your own images to try the tutorial. However, when you finally get around to checking the terms of use you find that you can't post the image anywhere nor can you put it on your own website or make tubes from it. Question: What is the point of doing a tutorial if you can't do a damn thing with the image you made based on the tutorial. Now I understand that some folks use their own images and they don't want anyone using their image on other websites but if I do a tutorial using my own images I damn sure will use the image any way I please. Really now what's next? Are these authors going to tell me that I can only do the tutorials on a Tuesday? Sheesh!
Enough ranting. On to the "show."
Detour (9): Nightfall at Camp Spooky
Abbreviations to date:
Sloan (the real moron): RM
Marty (the tree-hugger): TH
Papa Asekoff: PA
Louis Asekoff (PA's annoying
git of a son): AG
Agent Kinsey (aka Agent Brown-Noser): AgtBN
Agent Stonecypher (aka Agent Suck-Up): AgtSU
Agent Mulder: M
Agent Scully: S
Nameless Officer: NO
Mama Asekoff: MA
Officer Fazekas (aka Nature Chick): NC
Jeff Glaser the techhead: TG
Number of Incredulous references to location: 14
Number of times Mulder calls Scully by her last name:
7
Number of times Scully calls Mulder by his last name:
12
When we last saw M and S, found themselves alone in the so-called Floridian forests after NC and TG managed to get themselves disappeared by beings which can disappear in the background so as to be practically invisible. For some reason these beings are called moth men. Personally, I think chameleon men would be more apt but then no one asked my opinion.
Forest. Night. S is trying to start a fire with what appear to be just two rocks over a stack of sticks. M is huddled up against a log. Like so many men when they get a paper cut he's about as helpful as a hole in the head.
S: You were an Indian Guide. Help me out here. <Yeah you big baby!>
M: Indian Guide says maybe you should run to the store and get some matches. <Based on that statement I'm getting the impression that M got his Indian Guide badges the same way he got his SCUBA qualifications at the "Y" pool. If so then M and S are in deep doo-doo.>
S: I would, but I left my wallet in the car. <Plus there's that whole you don't know where you are thing.>
S sits beside him and picks up her gun.
M: What are you doing?
S: I'm debating whether or not I should use my last couple of bullets to kill you. Some Indian guide you turned out to be! Thanks to you I'm stuck in the middle of East Bumblebleep with no food, no water, and no weather gear when I could be eating cheese and drinking wine at the conference. Granted the conference would be boring as hell but at least I'd be warm and dry. Maybe if we were having sex I might still get something out of this but NO! You're too busy taking me for granted and yanking me around over hill and dale to even think about having sex with me! I just got off of my deathbed I don't need this shit!
M: Well I could remedy part of that now.
S: Forget it Mulder, your crybaby routine has put me out of the mood. Maybe next time -if Krycek or Skinner aren't around.
Okay so that wasn't quite how it went.
M: What are you doing?
S: Trying to open my gun. [Her clip pops out.] If I can separate the shell from the casing maybe I can get the powder to ignite.
M: Oh. And maybe it'll start raining weenies and marshmallows. <Why? When it's so obvious that S is already sitting next to a big weenie! I bet this wouldn't have happened if S were there with Krycek. Krycek would have kicked that mothman's ass! At the very least Krycek would have beat the crap out of the mothman with his prosthetic arm.>
S: Do I detect a hint of negativity?
M: No. Yes… actually. Yeah.
S: Mulder, you need to keep warm. Your body's still in shock.
M: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat was to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who's already naked. [Snuggles closer.] <This is the most pathetic come on line I've heard since "I was hoping you could help me solve the mystery of the horny beast." It's no wonder that M never gets laid.>
S: I already told you that I'm not in the mood anymore. Keep this up and I'll hurt you like that mothman!
<Okay, okay! I'll stop. The actual line is:>
S: Well, maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you'll get lucky. [M looks up at her.] Have you ever thought seriously about dying?
M: Yeah, once, when I was at the Ice Capades. <He admitted to going to the Ice Capades? Bwahahahaha!>
S: When I was fighting my cancer, I was angry at the injustice of it and its meaninglessness. And then I realized that that was the struggle - to give it meaning. To make sense of it. It's like life.
M: I think Nature is supremely indifferent to whether we live or die. I mean, if you're lucky you get 75 years. If you're really lucky you get 80 years. And if you're extraordinarily lucky, you get to have 50 of those years with a decent head of hair.
S: [chuckles] I guess it's like Las Vegas. The house always wins. [She breaks the bullet open.] Oh! Ta-da.
M: Go, girl. <Please don't say that again M. It bothers me.>
S gets up and sprinkles gunpowder on the pile of wood.
M: Hey, who did you identify with when you were a kid? Wilma or Betty? <This is a strange, random question. Is this how M holds conversations on dates? What is it with M? After all this time is CC trying to tell us that M only has two modes? One, obsessive, psychotic, E.B.E-hunting mode and the other, lame line using juvenile mode? Once again I see why M doesn't get laid.>
S: I identified with Betty's bustline.
M: Yes! I did, too.
S: Could never have been married to Barney, though. The kids were cute.
M: But where are they today?
Gunpowder explodes in one bright flash, then is gone. The wood didn't catch. M smiles. S turns to him.
S: Moth Men? Really?
M: [Nods] Yeah. But there seem to be only two of them. [S sits back down and tries to pull M onto her lap.] I don't wanna wrestle. <As well you shouldn't S would whip your ass! I wonder if he uses this line in the bedroom too. Yet another reason why M doesn't get laid.>
S: [Suppressing a laugh] Get over here. I'm going to try and keep you warm. [M lies in her lap. She accidentally rubs his wounded shoulder. It hurts him.] Sorry.
M: One of us has got to stay awake, Scully.
S: You sleep, Mulder.
M: If you get tired, you wake me. <Typical M. he's the one who's injured and S is the doctor yet when S tells him what to do he tries to give orders. Shut up and go to sleep M! S has the situation in hand. And unlike you she won't drop her gun!>
S: I'm not going to get tired.
M: Why don't you sing… something.
S: No… Mulder.
M: Well, if you sing something, I'll know you're awake.
S: Mulder, you don't want me to sing. I can't carry a tune.
M: It doesn't matter. Just sing anything.
Long pause. S looks around. <Exactly what or who are you looking for? You're in the middle of the woods somewhere that's alleged to be in Florida and the only people who could have gotten you out are gone.>
S: [slightly off key, no enthusiasm] Jeremiah was a bull frog… [M's eyes pop open.] …was a good friend of mine. Never understood a single word he said… [M or pulls up knees to hide his face.] …but I helped him drink his wine. <I know M had best not be laughing at S. She told him she couldn't carry a tune so if he doesn't care for the tune or the fact that it's off key he has no one to blame but himself. No one likes a Punk and an ingrate!>
Pause.
M: Chorus.
S: Joy …. to the world. All the boys and girls. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea. Joy to you and me.
Camera pans over to a tree where we see glowing red eyes.
Hmmm, once again a reasonably simple walk in the forest turns into disaster. Mothmen? Why mothmen? Why not chameleonmen?
Sometimes it just doesn't pay to be nice to some folks. S sings to M's sorry ass even after she admitted that she cannot carry a tune because he asked her to and what does he do? He snickers! The nerve!
Once again M pulls out one of his lame ass come on lines. It's just as well that S didn't take him up on his innuendo. He'd probably run away like a little girl!
The next time M claims some kind of country boy skills S should slap him silly. Indian guide my ass!
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