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It's been so long I'll just get right to the point. On to the "show…"
Detour(10): Down the Mothman Hole
Abbreviations to date:
Sloan (the real moron): RM
Marty (the tree-hugger): TH
Papa Asekoff: PA
Louis Asekoff (PA's annoying
git of a son): AG
Agent Kinsey (aka Agent Brown-Noser): AgtBN
Agent Stonecypher (aka Agent Suck-Up): AgtSU
Agent Mulder: M
Agent Scully: S
Nameless Officer: NO
Mama Asekoff: MA
Officer Fazekas (aka Nature Chick): NC
Jeff Glaser the techhead: TG
Number of Incredulous references to location: 16
Number of times Mulder calls Scully by her last name:
8
Number of times Scully calls Mulder by his last name:
16
Number of (gratuitous?) Krycek mentions: 2
When we last left Moose and Squirrel, Moose, who like many a man acts like a complete baby whenever he gets so much as a paper cut, was acting in a very baby-like manner demanding songs be sung to him after his unsuccessful attempt to wrestle a moth man.
Forest. Morning. M wakes alone. <Not that this would be unusual. You've heard his cheesy pick-up lines.>
M: Scully?!
S: [From about 20 yards away, holding up her gun. She is eating.] Mmmm… over here.
M: What are you doing?
S: I'm looking for food. I found some wild berries.
M: I wouldn't go far. <Like he's going anywhere. Still waiting for your marshmallows and sleeping bags to fall from the sky?>
S: Mulder, you never left my sight. [S disappears.]
M: Scully? [He gets up and goes to where she was.] Scully? Scully! Scully!?
As he is yelling he's looking all around the scenic (not to mention alleged) Floridian forest.
S: [voice] I'm down here.
M: Where?
S: [voice] I fell down a hole.
M looks down at S who is getting up off the bottom of a 10-foot deep hole
M: You all right?
S: Yeah, I landed on soft dirt… kind of.
M: What's down there? <Certainly not your hopes of leaving this forest alive.>
S: I don't know. It's pretty dark. [She bumps into one of many hanging bodies.] Oh! <Of all the times not to have one of their ubiquitous flashlights hanging around this has to be a really bad one.>
M: Scully, what's going on? Are you okay?
S: [Sees NC hanging.] I found Michelle. <NC looks a bit worse for wear. Although considering that she's been in the hands of the mothmen longer than TG she's the lucky one. No sign of TG.>
M: Is she alive?
S: [Checking NC] Not for much longer. Mulder, we have to get her out of here.
M: Is there a way out? <Off hand I'd try up.>
S: I don't know. I… I'm in some kind of a chamber. There's… there's like some kind of network. [She sees a mothman at one end of the chamber.] Mulder…
M: Yeah?
S: There's a bottle labeled "drink me" next to what looks like a tiny door. I'm going to taste what's in the bottle. It has to be better than those damn berries I just ate.
M: Are you sure that's a good idea?
S: I'm shrinking!
M: Scully! Scully! Scully! [He jumps into the hole]
M looks around ignoring NC hoping he doesn't step on S. He sees another bottle labeled "Drink me" next to a very small opening. Upon closer inspection the opening is actually a tiny doorway. He grabs the bottle and takes a swig.
Okay, I may have gotten a bit carried away. Here's the real dialogue.
S: I'm not alone. [She checks her back.] I don't have my weapon. Mulder!?
M: Hold on, I'm going to drop my gun down.
M drops gun, <deliberately for a change> then hears rustling behind him.]
S picks up M's gun, then jumps as he falls into hole behind her. <Offhand I can't help but think that this is not exactly the best way to help get S and NC out of the hole. But maybe it's just me.>
S: Jeez!! Mulder, are you okay?
M: [Holding his shoulder, rolling on ground in pain.] Don't mind me. <I'm just a dumb ass.>
The mothman begins moving toward them.
M: [rising] Scully!
S fires three or four shots. <Unlike M she actually hits the thing this time.>
S: Mulder, look. [They look at the mothman's body. It looks very human, but its skin looks as though it were made of wood.] There has to be a scientific explanation for this. <Which if you ever come up with it M will completely ignore anyway but I'm dying to hear it.>
To be continued…
I'm sure there was a reason why M was considered some kind of wunderkind once upon a time. However, I'm not seeing it at this point. Here's the situation: You and your partner are stuck alone in the middle of a forest and one of you falls down a hole. You THINK you hear something in the woods. So what do you do to better your chance of rescue? If you're M you jump down the hole thus making it difficult for anyone to see you. How is it that the consortium hasn't managed to kill M yet? Maybe there is something to the theory of Krycek helping M all along after all? Hmmm?
Where is TG? NC was the first to disappear. Then TG disappeared. Why is it that NC is still hanging around alive albeit a bit worse for wear yet TG is nowhere to be found? Why? Are the mothmen as illogical as M?
Once again S proves to be a better shot than M.
Until next time…
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