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It's the holiday season so I thought I'd get off my behind and post a deconstruction. (I'll definitely be doing this with a DVD next time.) I've written more than one rant since the last time but they're not exactly ready for publication of sorts. Anyway since it's been awhile, I'll just get to the point again, on to the show:
Detour(11): A Hole With a (Crappy) View
Abbreviations to date:
Sloan (the real moron): RM
Marty (the tree-hugger): TH
Papa Asekoff: PA
Louis Asekoff (PA's annoying
git of a son): AG
Agent Kinsey (aka Agent Brown-Noser): AgtBN
Agent Stonecypher (aka Agent Suck-Up): AgtSU
Agent Mulder: M
Agent Scully: S
Nameless Officer: NO
Mama Asekoff: MA
Officer Fazekas (aka Nature Chick): NC
Jeff Glaser the techhead: TG
Number of Incredulous references to location: 17
Number of times Mulder calls Scully by her last name:
14
Number of times Scully calls Mulder by his last name:
22
Number of (gratuitous?) Krycek mentions: 2
When we last left M and S they managed to end up on the wrong end of a big hole in the middle of what was purported to be a Floridian forest. To make matters worse, whoever lived in this cave has less than stellar housekeeping skills. The occupants left bodies all over the place. Clearly these people have not been watching Martha Stewart.
Later, in what can only be considered a very twisted version of AgtBN and AgtSU's favorite party game, M and S are stacking dead bodies under the hole. A pole reads AD NOCTVM. <Offhand, I'm wondering exactly what kind of cave this is. Now granted I'm no spelunker but I've NEVER been in a cave with a pole in it.>
M: Too bad we don't have any office furniture.
S: If they could see us now.
M: Go, team. 20 more bodies and we'll win the Honey-Baked Ham.
S gives him a look.
S: Sheesh! I can't take you anywhere.
M: Wrong episode Scully.
I know I'm toying with you again. Okay, M makes his crack about the honey baked ham and…
M: Go, team. 20 more bodies and we'll win the Honey-Baked Ham.
AgtBN: [voice] Agent Mulder?
M: We're down here!
S: We're down here! <I know we're dealing with a cavernous location and all but what's with the echo?>
AgtBN: What're you doing down there? <They've gone fishing didn't you see the sign? What kind of stupid question is this? It's a good think he's perfected his brown-nosing skills for he shan't be going anywhere based on his skills and wonderful powers of deduction.>
M and S look at each other.
M: Should I shoot him or do you want to?
S: Considering I'm the better shot, maybe I should take the shot. We want to make sure he's good and dead.
Okay, so maybe a bit of my homicidal wishing made it into this section. Here's what really happened.
AgtBN: [in idiot mode] What're you doing down there?
M and S look at each other]
M: We've got injured people down here. <That means get a medic you dimwit!>
S: We need a ladder.
AgtBN: Right away.
AgtBN runs toward rescue team, AgtSU stands next to hole. <Unfortunately, no one bothers to push her down it. Too bad Krycek's not around I bet he'd make sure she took a tumble.>
AgtSU: Hey, over here!
Stacking bodies in order to get out of a hole in the ground. Only M and S would end up in such a predicament. I wonder how AgtBN and AgtSU would handle the stacking bodies to make a climbable pile game. <BEG>
I still can't believe that when M dropped the gun it was intentional. This is probably the only time you'll ever have seen that happen.
This section is short and has very few bits for snarking.
Until next time…
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