 |
 |
 |
It's getting to be that the rants are getting longer than the deconstructions. Actually its has not been an easy deconstruction. There are time changes and flashbacks and keeping them straight is extremely important. Anyway first on to the rant. By the way I've edited the rant so that it's in line with a family forum. When I get around to archiving them on the website I shall revert to the sailor's language in which I had originally written the rant. And I am apologizing now in advance for the nature of the rant. I am going into toilet issues of sorts and well it's a low for me but damn it, it irks me no end and it MUST be discussed! Now on to the rant.
[Archivist's note: Actually it's not on to the rant. The rant is at the archive. You can get to it here.]
On to the "show."
Jose Chung's From Outer Space: Back in the Saddle -er Hypnotists Chair Again
Abbreviations to date:
Roky : ROK
Harold Lamb: Hsap
Jose Chung (The lech): JC
Scully: S
Chrissy the annoying twit: AT
Irate Father: IF
Mulder: M
Hypnotist (AKA scary looking quack): SLQ
Detective "bleepin'" Manners (AKA Man1):
DetM
Cigarette Smoking Alien: CSA
Man in Black 1: MIB1
Man in Black 2: MIB2
Number of times a question is answered with "How the hell
should I know?": 2
Number of spaceships making an appearance: 2
Number of times Jose Chung grossed me out: 3
Number of (gratuitous?) Krycek mentions: 2
Number of times Mulder calls Scully by her last name:
1
Number of times Scully calls Mulder by his last name:
3
Number of death threats issued or alleged to have been issued:
1
Detective Manners' Filth-o-meter: number of expletives bleeped or blanked: 6
When we last left Moose and Squirrel, Moose was calling SLQ to have AT rehypnotized. Apparently out of the huge collection of outrageous and ludicrous stories he'd heard there was just something not quite believable about hers. Especially when compared to the other unbelievable stories he'd heard in Klass county. In addition he'd learned that the post-hypnotic suggestion he'd had SLQ give AT to give her an actually personality didn't take so he decided a second try was in order. <Okay so I made up the personality thing up. So sue me.>
In a stroke of luck that seems to only happen in the X-Files universe everyone is standing in the exact same positions that they were standing in the first time AT was hypnotized.
SLQ: You are feeling very sleepy, very relaxed. As your body calmly drifts deeper and deeper into a state of peaceful relaxation, you will respond only to the sound of my voice. <He does really have the voice for what he's doing. I'm glad I don't have to listen to him on a regular basis.>
S: [voiceover] So the girl was put under again to see if she could confirm any of the boy's story. And as I suspected she might under such conditions, she did.
AT: The whole time it's beating me, I'm like this. [holds up her hands to show how she blocked the blows just like Hsap had earlier.] And then I, I'm flying through the air.
She slowly lowers her hands. The room becomes wavy again. DetM takes a sip of his coffee.
SLQ: Now what's happening?
AT: Some men are lifting me off the ground… men in Air Force uniforms.
M: Air Force? <Yes M Air Force. You really should work on your listening skills.>
DetM gives M a dirty look.
SLQ: Where are you now, Chrissy?
AT sits in a chair in a bright room. In front of her where there were once aliens, in the exact same positions as the humans who are really standing there, are military men.
AT: [narrating] I'm in a room. In an office. I'm surrounded by men. Some are in uniforms, some are in suits. The one closest to me looks like a doctor. <Actually he looks like a bulldog. That's what I'm calling him.> He's talking to me.
SLQ: What is he saying?
AT: He's saying I should get a personality. He claims that later this scene will be deconstructed by as he put it a rat obsessed woman who will forever call me an annoying twit. He says my voice has a whiny quality that grates on the nerves and that Harold was probably my last chance to get laid.
Okay. I supposed that was uncalled for. Here's how it really goes.
SLQ: What is he saying?
The man replacing SLQ talks.
[Note: I call the hypnotist SLQ. Tiny Dancer refers to him as Dr. Fingers. Since I didn't hear anyone call him by name I couldn't really confirm his name. The military equivalent is called Hand. I just found that amusing. Of course since I don't hear anyone call him by name I shan't be referring to him as Hand but I thought you might be amused by the fingers and hand thing.]
Dr. Bulldog (DBD): You're feeling very sleepy, very relaxed. <He on the other hand does not have the voice for hypnotism. But I wouldn't want to listen to any of his speeches either.>
AT: I don't remember. <This chick has been less than helpful. Argh! What did M expect to get from this wench?>
SLQ: What are the other men doing?
AT: They seem to be arguing.
The man replacing DetM now speaks.
Military Man 1 (MM1): Ask her if this third alien had a Russian accent.
The man replacing S speaks
Military Man 2 (MM2): This is way beyond their capabilities. This is way beyond our capabilities.
The man replacing M speaks
Military Man 3 (MM3): Ask if she knows where the gray alien's saucer went to.
The camera pans in to yet another one of AT's vacant stares. <You know if AT's head were any emptier you could use it as a punchbowl.>
MM2: [offscreen] How is she going to know that?
MM1: Have we located any of the others?
MM3: We're combing the area but this weather makes it tough.
MM2 approaches AT
MM2: All right. Rinse her out and give her the usual abduction rigmarole.
SLQ: What is the doctor doing now?
AT: He's telling me this is for the good of my country. <A likely story. The man must be a ventriloquist since I haven't seen his lips move.> I don't like what he's doing. He's stealing my memories. <Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wah, wah, wah! God I hate this girl. She is so annoying!>
Later, M and S talk in the empty interrogation room. Again. <I am getting the strangest sense of deja vu.>
S: Mulder, I think you and the hypnotherapist were leading her and I think there was more confabulation in the second version than in the first.
M: No, I think you're wrong about that, Scully. But I do think you're right about one thing, that this case might not have anything to do with aliens.
DetM walks in.
DetM: Hey, I just got a call from some crazy blankety-blank claiming he found a real live dead alien body.
M and S look at one another.
Curiouser and curiouser. This case just gets stranger and stranger. Stories change everyone steals AT's memories yet she is able to get some of them back. So which story is true the abduction or the government conspiracy to plant the idea of alien abduction in the gullible's heads. Perhaps both?
I really can't stand AT. She has to be the most annoying woman on the planet. I wish the damn aliens had kept her. <Have I said this before? Well it's still true.>
This section doesn't really move the story along much except to introduce yet another version of events. But it's significance will become apparent later. <Sheesh should I really go about doing this pretending that no one has seen the episode?>
Until next time…
|
|
|