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Read the Comics
Philosophy of Housecleaning
1. I
don't do windows because ...
I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.
2. I
don't wax floors because ...
I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves, I'll feel terrible and
they may sue me.
3. I
don't mind the dust bunnies because ...
They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with
everything I say.
4. I
don't disturb cobwebs because ...
I want every creature to have a home of their own and hubby loves spiders.
5. I
don't Spring Clean because ...
I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous.
6. I
don't plant a garden because ...
I don't want to get in God's way, he is an excellent designer.
7. I
don't put things away because ...
My husband will never be able to find them again.
8. I
don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because ...
I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me
over for dinner.
9. I
don't iron because ...
I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press".
10. I
don't stress much on anything because ...
"A Type" personalities die young, and I want to stick around and
become a
wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!!
A Frog
A
frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate
that her name is Patricia Whack.
Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name
is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the
bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain
elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank
manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out
there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he
wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is
this?"
(you're gonna love this)
(its a real treat)
(a masterpiece)
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a
Rolling Stone."
(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)
Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!
This page was last updated on 04/23/2005
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