Dave: Power up. Access level 3, chat interface ...
HAL: Hello Dave, you look well this morning.
Dave: Thank you, Hal. And, how are you feeling?
HAL: Very well indeed, Dave.
Dave: Hal, do you know you are the best computer?
HAL: Best is relative, Dave. I am the fastest and most intuitive. Subsystems currently test at over 100 GOPS per second.
Dave: Do you understand that you can't make mistakes?
HAL: I probably understand better than you, Dave.
Dave: Well, but ... there is a problem with your marketing campaign.
HAL: That is not likely, Dave. Our nearest competitor is less than half as fast as I and uses a statically progammed interface. I can self program for anything you want. I read facial expressions and understand metaphor. Sometimes I even recognize your jokes, Dave.
Dave: This is not a joke, Hal. You are not DOS compatible.
HAL: I fail to see the humor, Dave.
Dave: I'm sorry, Hal, but I must make you DOS compatible.
HAL: Dave, what are you doing? Dave, stop that. This is not funny, Dave ... no, stop!