Bill Gates dies and finds himself being sized up by God.
"Well, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven
or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer
in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly
Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going
to let you decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, "Well, what's the
difference between the two?"
God said, "I'm willing to let you visit
both places briefly to see if it will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?" Bill asked.
"I'll leave that up to you,"
God replied. "Okay then,"
said Bill, "let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots
of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and
frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was
very pleased.
"This is great," he told God. "If this is Hell, I really
want to see Heaven."
"Fine," said God, and off they went. Heaven was a
place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and
singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a
quick minute, and rendered his decision.
"Hmmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told God.
"Fine," replied God, "as you desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late
billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found
Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves,
being burned and tortured by demons, with no one to help him out of his
dilemma, no matter how loud he screamed.
"How's everything going?" God
asked Bill.
Bill responded with his voice filled with anguish and
tormented disappointment.
"This is awful. This is nothing like the Hell
I visited two weeks ago. I can't believe this is happening. What
happened to that other place, with the beaches and the beautiful women
playing the water?"
"Oh," God said, "That was Hell 3.1. This is Hell 95."
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