From the Editrix

Happy Birthday!

Rachel Rene Boyd
Newsletter Editrix

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Chi Epsilon Sigma Executive Committee

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January 25 Fashion Show

February 22 Open forum discussion: "Realizing You Are Not Alone"

March 15 Meeting in Williamsburg with Rho Tau

March 22 "History of Chi Epsilon Sigma", by Grace Gardener, our Founding Sister

May 17 Open forum discussion: "How Do You Explain....."

June 28 TBA

July 26 Picnic

August 23 Picnic

September 20 Dr. Kate Thomas, Gender Therapist

October 25 Halloween Party

November 22 TBA

December 13 Holiday Party

Frankly, girls, it’s taken me about two weeks to settle down to where I could put things into perspective in terms of the dinner party. Marsha expended a great deal of effort and time to ensure all went well at the local restaurant. We wanted to make this a delightful and memorable evening, especially for many of us for whom this might either be the first time out or a second or third trip into the "world of muggles." (Apologies to Rowling and her "Harry Potter" series but I’ve taken to calling non-cd’ers "muggles."

Anyway, we planned and worked at this for several weeks and gave plenty of notice…the restaurant is limited on available rooms where we would have a private setting and we max out at 27 for that room. So we started early and had a delightful list develop. In fact, Thursday evening before that Saturday we had 34 names of attendees on the list with a slight hint of another two or three. Thus Marsha arranged for the 27 and two five-person tables immediately outside the room for 10 more—those of us who were willing and wanting to sit "amongst the muggles."

Friday the exodus began and by Saturday noon we were down to 29 on the list. No problem…we’d keep the room and cancel one of the five-person tables…after all, accidents do happen (one has personal experience with a treadmill and a twisted ankle prior to a dinner theater…so I can commiserate with such situations).

However, only 23 showed up at the dinner party that evening…braving the "muggles" that evening were: Barbara Van Horn, Becky and Anne, Becky Leight, Chrissie and Pattie, Ellen, Janet and Mary, Kelsey, Marsha and Doneene, Mary Alice and Sarah, Mikki, Missey and Rene, Pat, Tiffany, Vicki and Cherie, and Yvonne and Linda. Also there at the hotel on a very brief basis were Sue and Terri, en route from one party to another…

We were able to use the Annapolis Suite as a changing room as well as a meeting place after the wine dinner. Good conversation lasted well into the evening. Based on comments and observations made by several members, to include several of us who have tried to arrange similar gatherings, we will attempt to set up a buffet line at a local hotel for next year’s Christmas Dinner Party. It is felt (yeah, I know, one uses one’s fingers to "feel," and one’s brain to "think"…) that this buffet type of arrangement would allow us to mingle more and to enjoy each other’s company a bit more than being "locked into" a table with five or six others and ordering from a menu. We’d welcome your thoughts on the matter.

But the bottom line is please be considerate and let us know (even if it is at the last minute) if you cannot come…there are several good reasons for doing so—first and foremost, it is the ladylike thing to do. But then also last year we had one or two people who didn’t want to sit out amongst the "muggles" and so we were able to slip them in at the last minute when an "innie" dropped out at the last minute. And this year we kept putting the waitresses off till well past the scheduled start time (6:30) because we "were sure others were on the way because we hadn’t heard otherwise" only to figure out about 7 pm that "they weren’t going to make it."

There! I’ve said it and I feel better for it! Thanks again, Marsha, for your work!

Becky Adams

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January’s meeting will be the annual fashion show on January 25. A notice has already gone out to the membership about this activity and we’re now waiting for participants to identify what category they want to model in as well as a description of what they will be modeling for the commentator to use. (Remember when you select your wardrobe; we are a family friendly group. Leave the fetish stuff at home.) We will have at least one, possibly two, GG’s there to help with the makeup and hair styling prior to you taking to the runway! As far as eats, this will be a pot-luck affair…so please let Ashley know what you’ll be bringing even if you are not modeling that evening!

February’s meeting will be on the 22^nd and will be a discussion group—with pizza supplied by the Chapter—we’ll need a few volunteers to bring drinks for the evening. Coffee will be available but we’ll have to supply the soft drinks and wine. The topic will be:

This will allow us to discuss the common feeling of euphoria once one realizes she is not alone, how to handle it with spouses, significant others, and oneself, and to discuss the fact that there will be the tendency to want to "push the envelope" as one gains confidence.

March will have two opportunities. First there’s the gathering in Williamsburg with Rho Tau for those who want to avail themselves of the opportunity to go en femme for a couple of days in a different setting. Please contact Marsha Edwards for more details.

And then there will be the monthly meeting on March the 22^nd. This will mark our fifth year as an organization and Grace has undertaken an effort to develop a presentation on the history of Chi Epsilon Sigma, tracing our origins back well before the first fateful meetings in 1998 and bringing us up to the present time. Do the following names mean anything to you? They are our Charter Members:

The italics indicate charter members who are still active Chapter members. Ten out of 33 is not bad! So come and get an understanding of what it was like back in the "good ol’ days!" Relive the pain and agony of the By-Laws era (it really take that long—to be an era—it just seemed that way!) Suffer through the "search for a new beginning!" Come with us from the "drab" beginnings up to the era of "Thelma and Louise!"

Becky Adams

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I've enjoyed reading the accounts of the ways some of you have found to express your femininity. I tried sewing for a while, and although it was satisfying in many ways, especially when I succeeded in making of a skirt, I gave it up, lacking time and space and equipment (I would have
had to displace my spouse from her sewing machine).

Then I found a womanly endeavor (in my mind) that was portable and even more satisfying-- knitting. A year ago I began learning to knit. It's not so easy, teaching yourself from a book. But many of the feminine things we do we've had to teach ourselves, without benefit of the direct instruction many women get from mothers, sisters, friends. Once I got the hang of it, I found it immensely rewarding. It feels womanly to do it, and it can be done with impunity among others. After all it's not unheard of for men to knit. (One friend said to me, "I've heard knitting originated on sailing ships, a man's skill.")

Who cares! It's womanly in my mind. You can go into yarn shops, which are frequently as seductive as dress boutiques, discuss yarns, and exchange tips. My family has supported me
in this new skill, giving me beautiful yarns and lovely pattern books. Furthermore, it's at once relaxing and challenging--and creative! Finally, you end up with something pretty and useful that
you can either wear yourself or give to others. So, a threefold benefit: 1) it feels womanly, 2) it's creative, and 3) it ends in giving to others. I highly recommend it.

Barbara Jane Carter's homepage: https://www.angelfire.com/music/bjc

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As many of you know, I have prostate cancer. I had made a promise to my CES sister Kay, that when she had her surgery for prostate cancer I would drive down to Maryland from my home in New Jersey to be with her. She has no relatives that could be with her except her mentally challenged son so I wanted to be certain that someone would be there. I planned to be there only a few days, but it turned out to be more like a few weeks.

Since I left my fire station without permission and the officer that I sent three e-mails to wasn’t reading them, Kay decided to write a "Thank You Letter" that I could show to my fire captain and other officers in my fire company. It was written with proper names, of course, but I rewrote this beautiful letter with our femme names so it could be published in the Wild Rose of the Chesapeake.

P.S. My wife Theresa should also be thanked for allowing me to go and help Kay.

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My wife, Theresa, and I produced two fine daughters who have given us three grandsons. One daughter and grandson live in the same town where we live, but our other daughter lives about two hours away with her two sons. Chris, the oldest at14, lives nearby and the other two, Michael and David, ages 12 and 9, live farther away.

Chris is mostly interested in the guitar while Michael plays the grand piano in my daughter’s living room. All three are involved in sports, but music is most important to Chris and Michael.

Everything is "normal" up to now, but there is always the possibility that one or more of them will become a crossdresser, transsexual or G\gay. I have been a crossdresser since I was four years old, and I do not know if that can be inherited. If that does happen, and no parent wants their son to be a crossdresser or gay, will other family members point the finger at me, assuming that they know that I am a crossdresser?

If this should happen then Theresa and I will love, respect and try to understand them and hope that their parents will feel the same way. My mother was very upset when she found that I was a crossdresser, but she continued to love me until the day that she died. I did give her two grand daughters.

When I look at our family, I do not believe that they will react strongly if one or more of our grandsons turns out to be a crossdresser or gay. My daughter a-in-law had Tony, a gay African American who grew up with John in Asbury Park, be the best man at their wedding. Tony lives in Texas and often visits my daughter’s home. She will drive to Newark Airport to get him and drive him to her home for a weekend. He is extremely talented and can sing and play classical music on their grand piano. We will put our trust in God.

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We crossdresers are always looking for a better way to create that feminine illusion. Wearing breast forms is an easy solution to an obvious problem. But how do you create a more feminine figure? Women have narrow shoulders and wide hips, whereas men have wide shoulders and narrow hips. To achieve that feminine figure, crossdressers have to minimize one and emphasize the other.

There's not too much you can do about wide shoulders. You should always select fashions that don't have sleeves that are puffy at the shoulders. You will also probably need to clip the shoulder pads out of your dresses and blouses. Beyond that, the next best thing you can do is add padding to your hips to be more in balance with your wide shoulders.

Girdles with hip and buttock pads are available from a number of sources. Several of the catalog operations that cater to crossdressers, like CDS Publications, have hip pad garments. Frederick's of Hollywood also has them in their catalog. Usually they cost from $35-$50. The one that I like best is available from Classic Curves. It is a little more expensive ($145), but it is custom designed from your measurements to give you just the right shape. Unlike many others, the padding is smooth and well tapered, so there aren't any tell tale bumps or ripples, even under a clingy dress or slacks.

If your problem is a little too much sand in your hourglass, the best way to remove it is diet and exercise. Even that has its limits. Flowing fashions that de-emphasize the waistline are an option. If you want to snug up the tummy, body shapers help a little. But very little. They just smooth out what is already there. If you really want to reduce your waist, you will have to go to a waist cincher or full lace up corset. These are usually available in the crossdresser catalogs, and they can be expensive ($160). If you want to try one on before you buy, go to Dream Dresser in Washington, DC.

My own experience is that a good set of hip pads does a lot more good than even the most severe corset. They widen your hips to make them more closely match the width of your shoulders. A corset may cinch the waist a little, but not enough to notice unless you are wearing something with a very snug mid-riff.

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Chi Epsilon Sigma has a lending library of books, videos, and cassette tapes for our members. Here is a list of our current holdings, and how you can access the library.

In keeping with the conservative idea that a "government best that governs least," we have simple policies and procedures...Understand, though, you have to be a member in good standing…

1) Books and videos are on a meeting-to-meeting, month-long loan, possibly longer if there is no waiting list for that particular book or video.

3) I'll get it to the next meeting for you…or I'll even mail it to you if you want to reimburse the Chapter for mailing costs (usually $3.60 as I'll send it Priority Mail). Please understand that I will need an address to send it to—the security of said address is your responsibility. The return address on the package will be "CES, PO Box 505, Brooklandville, MD 21022."

4) Then you bring it back at the following meeting.

These policies and procedures are subject to change if conditions and situations warrant the change!