June, 1999
The Wild Rose of the Chesapeake
July, 1999 Vol. 2, No. 3
From the Editrix
My Dear Contributing Editrixes,
Thanks to each of you who are contributing to our newsletter. Truly it is our
newsletter, as each of us are Contributing Editrixes. Pssst, that means each of us write articles for the newsletter.
To encourage regular publication, the first Friday in every month is our deadline.
The next DEADLINE is JULY 2. Looking forward to seeing your next contribution.
You will notice elsewhere in this issue of The Wild Rose of the Chesapeake that we
are considering having a used clothing sale at one of our upcoming meetings. As
I think about that meeting, it occurs to me that we crossdressers are usually catalog
shoppers. Especially if we are still in the closet to some degree, it is much easier to
shop from a catalog than any other way. Some of us in Chi Epsilon Sigma have discovered
the same catalogs. It would be fun to share our favorite catalog finds with our
sisters.
So, here is your assignment for the next edition of The Wild Rose:
Send me information on one to five of your favorite catalogs in the format of the
following example:
Name of Catalog:
Willow Ridge
Product Offered:
Ladies fashions
Why You Like the Catalog:
Style of the clothes, and reasonable prices
Catalog Telephone Number:
1-800-388-2012
You might also want to save copies of your favorite catalogs and bring them to the
used clothing sale meeting.
I will compile the catalog list and publish it in the next newsletter. Or if one
of you would like to do the compilation, let me know and I will forward you the responses.
You can send your input to me at BoydRachel@aol.com
, or R. R. Boyd, PMB 328, 11654 Plaza America Drive, Reston, VA 20190.
Your Tri-Ess Sister
Rachel Rene Boyd
Newsletter Editrix
Membership
My how we have grown! In just a little over a year we have gone from about 10 members
to a little over 50, and spun off the Richmond, Virginia area chapter.
A recent email from our Chairlady, Grace Gardener, shows we currently have 40 fully
accredited members in the Baltimore-based Chi Epsilon Sigma chapter. About half
of these CD members also have spouses or significant others who are active, so we
really have about 60 members. We also have another 7 prospective members who have expressed
an interest and are in the process of the interviews.
The Richmond-based Rho Tau chapter now has a total of 13 members or prospective members.
Their membership is really beginning to take off now that they are officially organized
and are starting to have meetings in southern Virginia.
Annual Dues Notice
Yes, it is time to renew our membership in Chi Epsilon Sigma. Everyone's dues are
now due:
$36 for an individual, or
$48 for a couple.
You can send your dues to Joan Henderson or give them to her at the next meeting.
If you write a check, please put your femme name on the check. But do not make
the check out to Joan. She has trouble depositing them made out that way. Make
the check to Chi Epsilon Sigma. If you want to mail your check to Joan, email her at sloopjjb@aol.com
for her snail mail address.
TRI-ESS INTERNATIONAL
CHI EPSILON SIGMA (CES) CHAPTER
OFFICIAL ACTIVITIES CALENDAR
By Vicki Frost
Monthly Meetings
Our regular monthly meetings will have a program whenever members volunteer or are
coerced into organizing one. When neither happens, there will be no program other
than sistership. Some ideas for Monthly Programs are listed on our comprehensive
list of possible chapter activities, which is updated and circulated at least annually.
Special Events
Some of our sisters have and will continue to organize occasional special events
that are in addition to our regular monthly meetings and programs. Our comprehensive
activity list offers some ideas for Special Events that each of us may wish to consider, but anyone may organize any event they wish as long as they notify and schedule it
through the CES Activities Coordinator. Vicki Frost (Victoria.Frost@hotmail.com
) is current CES Activities Coordinator.
Other TG Community Events
Some events held by transgender (TG) organizations other than CES also are listed
below. This is not a comprehensive list such events. If you know of a non-CES event
you think might interest CES members, please send me its title, a brief description,
and contact information for anyone interested in attending. I'm sorry, I don't have
any additional information about these events. Please check with the information
sources indicated. The Femme Mirror is one of your principal sources for events
outside of CES.
My Lady's Mirror
Our friend and beauty consultant Heather Anne (MyLadys_Mirror@hotmail.com
) has a standing invitation to display her beauty and fashion products, and to make
presentations and consultations, at any of our meetings.
1999 ACTIVITIES CALENDAR
JUNE EVENTS
June 26, 1999-CES Regular Meeting
We can't get our regular meeting room for this meeting. Therefore, we are very grateful
to Emily and Laurie's who have offered to host a pool party and cook out at their
home.
CES Special Events
None scheduled
Other TG Community Events
June 2-6, 1999: "17th Be All" in Cleveland, Ohio
JULY EVENTS
July 24, 1999 -CES Regular Meeting
Suggestion-box open forum (Planned as an annual recurring event). Kim Oberdick has
volunteered to organize and host an open forum where each of us will be invited to
put anonymous cross dressing topics or questions in a suggestion box. Someone will
draw one or more of these and they will be discussed by the all of us in an open forum during
the meeting. Start thinking about topics, girls. Kim will be contacting us with
additional information and for suggested topics. Kim also is organizing a potluck
dinner during the meeting.
CES Special Events
None scheduled
Other
TG Community Events
July 14-18, 1999, S.P.I.C.E. in Minneapolis, Minnesota
AUGUST EVENTS
August 28, 1999
CES
Regular Meeting
Possible used clothing sale
Possible pot luck dinner
CES Special Events
None scheduled
Other TG Community Events
None known
SEPTEMBER EVENTS
September 25, 1999 CES
Regular Meeting
Returning by popular demand is Dr. Kate Thomas who also spoke at our September 1998
meeting. Kate is a psychologist specializing in counseling cross dressers and their
families. Her discussion of, and answers to questions about, crossdressing were
very well received by CES members during her previous visit.
CES Special Events
Play at Center Stage? Paula is researching the possibility of organizing a special
event for those of us wishing to attend a play at Center Stage in downtown Baltimore.
In an earlier message to us in late March, she said that Center Stage puts on about
eight shows in a season. One of the preview nights is designated as a "Night Out"
where Gay, Lesbian and Transgender patrons are encouraged to attend the play as well
as a reception beforehand. Paula has spoken to the theater management and was assured
that we are "very welcome" to attend and that Center Stage encourages diversity in its
productions as well as its audiences. Paula also was assured that bathroom arrangements
should be no problem. The schedule for next season comes out in late summer and
we will be able to start looking at dates then.
Other TG Community Events
September 21-26, 1999: Southern Comfort Conference
Write P.O. Box 77591, Atlanta, GA 30357-1591; (404) 633-6470; info@sccatl.org; http://www.sccatl.org
OCTOBER EVENTS
No regular meeting.
CES
Special Events
October 30, 1999 Halloween Party (Annual recurring event). Laurie and Emily have
offered to host our Halloween Party again this year. What would we do without them?!
Other TG Community Events
None known
NOVEMBER EVENTS
No regular meeting
Because of busy holiday schedules
CES Special Events
Pre-Thanksgiving Day Dinner Party, probably at Central Station in Baltimore.
Other TG Community Events
November 4-7, 1999: Paradise in the Poconos.
Contact CDS; P.O. Box 61263; King of Prussia; PA 19406; (610) 640-9449; http://www.cdspub.com/poco.html
November 10-14, 1999: Tri-Ess "Holiday En Femme" in Houston, Texas
DECEMBER EVENTS
No regular meeting
CES Special Events
December 11, 1999 Holiday Party (Annual recurring event)
Other TG Community Events
None known
Notes from the May Meeting
The May 22, 1999 meeting of Chi Epsilon Sigma featured brief business meeting, and
a most entertaining presentation by our musical sister, Paula Evans. There were
28 members in attendance, including four who were attending their first meeting.
Welcome to our growing community! We missed some of our sisters from Virginia, who were having
an organizational meeting of their new chapter based in the Richmond area. We wish
them great success, but shall miss seeing them as often.
We had a discussion about programming. We have recognized the need to have a balanced
set of programming offerings, to include frequent meetings at our regular location
with occasional meetings in other venues. Cost is recognized as a factor, so we
shall endeavor to spread out those meetings that cost members more than a regular meeting.
The Program Committee, chaired by Vicki Frost, was recognized for its outstanding
program offerings during are first year of existence.
Clearly the highlight of the evening was the presentation by our own songstress, Paula
Evans, entitled:
Rock and Gender Roles
Mitch Tries on the Blue Dress
Paula traced the appearance of crossdressing themes in rock music from Glam Rock of
the early 1970s to Goth Rock of the 1990s. Many of us remember Take a Walk on the Wild Side
by as the first song with a crossdressing theme to make into mainstream pop charts.
Other mainstream artists have included crossdressing in their lyrics, including
Pink Floyd, Aerosmith, David Bowie, Twisted Sister, and many others.
Paula sang her own composition, The Revolution Begins Inside You
, which speaks to the feelings of many crossdressers. Then she did a fabulous job
of illustrating crossdressing themes in rock music with a multimedia presentation
of pictures from the artist's web sites and playing recordings of their work (that
would be CDs on CDs). A number of musicals and movies have featured crossdressing themes,
including Cabaret, Hedwig, Kiss of the Spider Woman, La Cage Au Folles, M. Butterfly, Rocky
Horror Picture Show, Victor Victoria, and Yentl.
Paula shows her collection of CD music on CDs, and provided a handout listing over
50 songs with CD themes, as will as the names of numerous artists who have used crossdressing
in their music. If you would like to have a copy, I'm sure Paula would be glad to send you a copy. Just let her know at Paulacd2@hotmail.com
.
Thanks, Paula, for a very entertaining evening.
Top Ten Reasons to Love a Crossdresser
Provided by Liz Henley
10. She doesn't care how much money you spend on lingerie, makeup, etc.
9. You'll always have a girlfriend.
8. If she is the same size, your wardrobe just doubled.
7. YOUR foibles are minor, at least in HER mind.
6. She is so happy she found YOU.
5. She talks about something other than sports.
4. You'll never iron shirts again.
3. She never leaves the seat up.
2. Unlike other men, she listens to you -- mostly.
And the number one reason to love a crossdresser --
She loves to shop!!!!!!
Top Ten Things Only Women Understand
Anonymous
10. Cats/dogs facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. Fat clothes
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time
5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow
3. Eyelash curlers
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made
AND, the Number One thing only women understand
1. Other Women.
Why it's Great to be a Man
Anonymous
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He
must be mad at me".
Same work more pay.
Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
Wedding dress - $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.
You don't mooch off other's desserts.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you become lifelong friends.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with. So, notice anything different?
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
At least a few belches are expected and tolerated.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can do your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
Lucy's Window
By Lucy Stone
On Balance
Whether you feel blessed or cursed because you are either a cross-dresser or the spouse/significant
other of a cross dresser could very well depend on how well that person in your relationship
(you or your partner) maintains the balance between masculine and feminine sides. But what is the right balance?
I am convinced there is no ideal balance, but I am also convinced there is an optimum
balance point for each cross-dresser and spouse/significant other. It is that combination
of activities that permits a cross dresser to express masculine and feminine sides in such a manner as to be satisfactory to the cross-dresser, minimally disruptive
in his/her life, and be the most acceptable to his/her spouse/Significant other.
For many couples, maintaining this balance is very difficult because the cross-dresser
is still getting in touch and becoming comfortable with his/her second self. As
a result, it is all too easy to overbalance one way or the other. One symptom is
the problem that many of us have experienced; the cycling between long periods with much
interest in cross-dressing and building guilt that always culminates in purging.
The stakes for achieving a balance are high. On the one extreme is pushing the cross-dresser's
second self to the detriment of the cross-dresser's gender-determined primary self.
When this occurs, the result is tension and unhappiness for both partners, as well as the potential impact on the health of both, their careers and even their
future together. At the other extreme, purging and total denial also can lead to
tension and unhappiness that can severely impact the health and happiness of both
partners, and even threaten the future of their relationship.
For me, balance has become easier since I have accepted myself, and I have generally
become satisfied with who I am. As a result, the recurring feelings of guilt, that
plagued me for many years, no longer get in the way. This does not mean that maintaining a balance is automatic, or does it mean that the balance point will always remain
the same. Both my needs and those of Joan are certain to change over time, but as
long as we are honest with each other, attentive to the other's concerns and willing
to compromise, I am certain that we can look forward to a continually fulfilling and
happy future.
To everyone reading this column, it is my sincere hope that you also are making progress
toward achieving and maintaining the optimum balance in your lives.
Vulnerability
Something Every Woman Wears
By Brandi V. Miller
So, you want to look and dress, walk, and talk like a woman. How about felling the
fright a woman often experiences? I now know the fear my wife has experienced and
now two days later, I'm still uncomfortable thinking about it.
I was driving home northward on I-95 from another support group meeting about midnight,
and south of Ft. Mead Road it started. A car had slowly come up behind me in the
fast lane and passed. I must say at this point, I was still fully dressed. The
car then changed lanes, got in front of me and slowed slightly. I changed to the far-left
lane and passed. This time the other car got in the 2nd lane, passed and got back
in my lane. We were going about 75 when it gradually slowed below 55. I slowed
too. I wasn't about to pass this maniac again. He continued playing games to the tunnel
tollbooth, where I passed through much more quickly than he did. But, it wasn't
long before the "games" continued, and some fear welled up inside me. I felt pretty
safe in my big van, but still was concerned and began to think about what to do. I thought
too late to exit at Moravia, where I could be back on I-95 in 2 or 3 minutes and
not even go out of my way.
As I edged toward the very long upcoming exit lane to northbound I-695, the other
car got in the exit lane ahead of me and slowed down again. But, I stayed in my
lane, went straight, got off at Rt. 43, and went to the district police visitor's
parking lot and calmed down. Then I did what I normally do -- put my jewelry, wig, purse, and
things in a shopping bag and drove the short distance home.
Ah, but it wasn't over yet! On the short drive home, I saw a pickup truck waiting
at a side street. It had plenty of time to turn either way before I got there.
It seemed like it was waiting for me. Oh no, not again, I thought. Yes, it pulled
out in back of me and followed me. Deje-vu! But as soon as we made the main road, it pulled
off into the shopping center. Whew!
Some of you, who know me, know that I take medicine (by necessity, not choice) that
gives me hot flashes. Well, now I know another feeling a woman has, and I will never
forget it! It was frightening, maybe less than a GG feels, but frightening nevertheless.
So, to paraphrase the old sergeant on Hill Street Blues
, "Ladies, be careful out there!"
Marvelous Moments
By Rachel Rene Boyd
Several months ago I had some photographs made of myself en femme by a professional
photographer. Recently I stopped by her studio en femme just to say hello. When
I arrived, she was sitting in her reception area with another customer. She greeted
me warmly and introduced me to her customer, who I will call Susan. After a few moments
of chitchat, Susan said, "Rachel, come over here and sit by me, because I really
need some support right now."
I didn't quite understand why Susan thought I would be a source of support, but I
sat down with her and took her hand. She began to explain that she had lost her
long term lesbian lover about three months before, and she was working through the
grieving process. She had come to the studio that day to inquire about having pictures made
to help her in finding a new partner.
Susan's lesbian lover had died tragically following routine surgery that was not expected
to be life threatening. The lover she lost was the only partner she had ever been
with. They had been together for over 18 years. So it was quite a shock to loose
her unexpectedly. I felt a special bond with Susan because I had lost a sister several
years ago following routine surgery. The three of us sat together and continued to
talk. We shared many stories about how we have had to deal with loss and disappointments in life. We shared stories of personal loss, divorce, sexual dysfunction, and the
stress crossdressing brings to a marriage.
We also talked about what wonderful therapy it is to have your picture made. Certainly,
my experience with the photographer helped me realize a greater self-esteem. It
was very flattering to have a professional makeover, to get your hair done just so,
and to have the photographer pose and pamper you. And the finished product proves that
you are as beautiful as you always imagined you could be.
What was it that caused Susan to recognize that I could provide her comfort in her
journey? Why did the three of find it easy to share our emotions and stories of
personal pain? I don't understand these things any better than I understand why
I am compelled and fulfilled by crossdressing. But I do know that I was deeply touched by the
marvelous moments I shared with Susan and the photographer. The conversation was
all about emotions in a way that I have never experienced as a male, even when talking
with a woman. Never have I felt so close to new acquaintances so quickly. There emerged
an understanding, a bond that was new and exhilarating. Never have I felt so female
than during those marvelous moments when I connected with sister journeyers in a
very special way. I hope they were as blessed by our encounter as I was.
Your Preferences for
A Weekend Meeting in Williamsburg
By Joan and Lucy Stone
On the weekend of March 19-21, 1999, members of Chi Epsilon Sigma and guests from
their newly forming sister chapter, soon to be named Rho Tau, gathered in Williamsburg
for a memorable weekend. Friday evening, twelve of us got together for an en femme
dinner in the Purdy Kitchen, the small private dining room in the building that served
as the kitchen for the King's Arms Inn during Colonial Times. During the day on
Saturday, everyone pursued their own activities, which ranged from shopping in the
local outlet malls and the quaint shops at Market Square to sightseeing at many of the local
historic attractions. On Saturday evening, we held a reception, banquet and our
regular monthly meeting at the Hotel Colonial America which also was the location
for our over night accommodations. Sunday morning, those who stayed over had breakfast nearby
and then did last minute shopping and departed.
Our meeting speaker on Saturday night was Trooper Eric VonFossen of the Virginia State
police. His topic was Cross-Dressing and the Law
.
A few days after the meeting, we emailed a survey form to each of the members who
attended all or part of the meeting. Of the 29 members queried we received 15 responses.
This is a tabulation of the responses to the survey on our Williamsburg Weekend.
Total number of responses 15, but not everyone answered all questions
1. Are you interested in returning to Williamsburg next year? Yes/No
YES: 15 NO: 0 One member suggested that we hold the meeting in April or May
next year.
2. Please rate the hotel. Excellent/Good/Fair/Unsatisfactory
EXCELLENT: 4 / GOOD: 6 / FAIR: 4 / UNSATISFACTORY:0
3. Assuming that we are assured there would be no cheerleaders, should we consider
the Hotel Colonial America next year? Yes/No
YES: 12 NO: 2 Willing to go either way: 1
4. Would you prefer a better quality hotel? If so how much more would you be willing
to pay per night?
YES: 6 NO: 5 Willing to go either way: 1 One member suggested spending up to
$100.00 per night, but she was also willing to return to Colonial America because
the cost fits most budgets.
What did you think of the banquet? Excellent/Good/Fair/ Unsatisfactory. If you were
disappointed, please explain.
EXCELLENT: 7 / GOOD: 8 / FAIR: 0 / UNSATISFACTORY: 0
Would you prefer a buffet if we have enough people?
YES: 3 / NO: 5 Willing to go either way: 6
Program suggestions for our meeting?
Suggestions: (A). We have a speaker reflecting Williamsburg, possibly the role of
women in the 18th century; (B) we have dancing; and (C) we have a civil liberties
lawyer for a speaker.
8. Shall we have an en femme dinner in Colonial Williamsburg
next year? Yes/No.
YES: 15 NO: 0
If so will you plan to attend even if you did not attend this year? Yes/No
YES: 12 NO: 0
Would you have preferred to have organized activities during the day on Saturday?
Yes/No.
YES: 2 NO: 11
If yes, what do you want to do?
Both members who were for organized activities wanted to visit Colonial Williamsburg,
Jamestown or Yorktown.
If yes, dress en femme/drab?
Both members wanting organized activities also wanted to dress en femme.
10. Please give us any additional suggestions and/or comments.
One member commented, "The new Southern chapter is going to shine."
Several members commented that they were impressed with how the hotel staff went out
of their way to accommodate our group and make us feel welcome and comfortable.
One member suggested that the timing for the Williamsburg meeting should be made to
coincide with the official charter date for the Richmond/Tidewater chapter and that
the meeting should then be combined with a celebration.
We thank everyone for helping make this year's Williamsburg weekend a big success.
The results of this follow-up survey will help Chi Epsilon Sigma and Rho Tau to
make next year's Williamsburg weekend even better.
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