First Quarter, 1999

President's Remarks:

First of all, I'd like to apologize on the behalf of the Board and others for the delay in the Newsletter. Events beyond our control conspired to create a number of delays but I think we have the situation under temporary control. Thanks for your patience on this matter.

Now to a quick synthesis on my recent Bulletin…which I am trying to use on an aperiodic basis to keep the membership advised as to what's going on…the Editor will take the wordy content of these missives and reduce them to a few choice words…I think…

1. Sue Avalon is coordinating a location for the April 24th anniversary meeting. (Aren't you Sue?) As many of you know Jane Ellen Fairfax, our National Chairperson, will be coming to this meeting. Among other things, she will be doing a slide presentation on the history of Tri-Ess. This will be a dinner meeting with no meeting fee. We are trying to find a nice place with a reasonable menu and reasonable cost. Central Station is one place being explored but a few folks have expressed some concerns about this location which we are looking into. I need some consensus... I'd like to invite the print media, specifically the Baltimore Sun, to this meeting. With Jane Ellen coming we have a media hook and the exposure could benefit both closeted cross-dressers and the membership rolls. The Sun did a very nice front-page piece on cross dressing in 1979, so I am very confident in their ability to do this tastefully.

So that no one is concerned about the press, we would outline some ground rules to preserve people's confidentiality and maintain peace of mind and security. What I need to know is if any one strenuously objects to the media's presence. If so, would you please explain you reasons or concern in reasonable detail and let me know what assurance you need for peace of mind.

2. I spoke with Carol Beecroft a few weeks ago and the library project, i.e. getting books with our contact information into libraries, is easier than I imagined. All Carol needs is the acquisition editor's name and then she writes and explains about the books etc. We can donate a set of four books, one by Virginia Prince and Peggy Rudd's three for just $30. National will match us 50-50 so for every $15 we collect we can provide one set of books. This is a very worthy endeavor and anyone who would like to contribute please send a check to Joan ear-marked for the library project. We'll plug this for a while and make our move by the end of the summer.

3. I've listed two proposed by-laws approved by the executive committee. Copies were provided at the January meeting. Voting will take place over the next 30 days. Please notify Joan Henderson at sloopjjb@aol.com of your decision.

DRAFT AMENDMENTS TO BY-LAWS OF CHI EPSILON SIGMA

First Reading January 16th Meeting Voting March 7, 1999 until April 1999

Rationale: Chi Epsilon Sigma is a support group for crossdressers and their significant others. Therefore, it is believed essential for the continued well-being of the organization as well as to enable it to attain its goals, that female (as compared with feminine) representation should be embodied into the structure of the Executive Committee. In that an odd number of participants is desirous for decisive voting purposes, the recommended amendment adds two Members-at-Large to the Executive Committee, making the Executive Committee a total of seven. In addition, to avoid the appearance of "stacking the deck," a limitation is made of having a household unit being able to have only one member at a time on the Executive Committee. [The structure of the existing By-Laws places "General" details (4.1.2) before the structure (4.2.1).]

Recommended wording of the amendment:

To Section 4.1.2: add "…and only one member of a household/relationship may hold an Executive Committee office at any given time."

To Section 4.2.1: add "Two Members-at-Large to come from wives, girl friends, and/or partners of Chi Epsilon Sigma members, provided that the elected Member-at-Large is a member of Chi Epsilon Sigma in good standing."

Amendment regarding change of meeting schedule for Executive Committee:

Rationale: Monthly meetings as required by the By-Laws were found to be an administrative issue with little to no value being derived from these sessions. However, there are times when it is necessary for the Executive Committee to meet in order to develop proposed agenda, recommend policy, address newly developed issues, etc. Therefore, the amendment changes the definitive "monthly" requirement to "as required" along with identifying as to who would determine the requirement to meet and adjusting the quorum requirement as well from 60% of the Executive Committee to 57%.

To Section 4.4.1: change "monthly." To "as required by either the Chair or by a simple majority of Executive Committee members."

To Section 4.4.2: change "three" to "four."

SOME PROPOSALS IN REGARD TO FUND RAISING

"An army marches on its stomach" or so we are told. An economist once said, "there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch." In a political vein we are told "no mandates without corresponding resources." So we are all now aware that if we want high-quality programs, opportunities, and challenging experiences, we will have to pay for them. And, as a great writer once said, "Therein lies the rub."

Financial restraints from time to time will and do hamper us. And with a Chapter such as ours, some of us may find that those restraints are long term and rather hobbling in effect. But that does not lessen our dive to be who we are when we need to be…and we are all better off if we can all participate to the fullness of our needs and our abilities. While Karl Marx might have been right on target when he said "from each according to his abilities and to each according to his needs," we would prefer meeting that goal without using the means that Marx advocated.

To that end, it has been recommended that the Chapter undertake a perpetual fund-raising effort, monitored by the Chapter Treasurer but run by a new Chapter Committee, a Development Committee. There are three general venues suggested:

1. A monthly 50-50 raffle using tickets at a dollar a piece. The Chapter receives the first 50% of the funds taken in and the remaining amount is divided into three unequal amounts—for example, 30%, 15%, and 5%--and those amounts are given to the holders of the ticket stubs that are drawn in that sequence. (Using an attendance of 25 as an example, we would assume there might be one non-participant…the Chapter would receive $12 and the first number drawn would receive $5, the second $4, and the third $3.)
2. A quarterly (or more frequent) raffle where a Chapter member donates a surprise item as a door prize (recommended that the door prize be of $15 value or greater), tickets are sold and the winner takes the door prize and the Chapter receives the proceeds.
3. Seasonal Clothing Sale where twice a year (e.g., the April and September meetings) members donate items of apparel or accessories to the Chapter (ensuring the items are clean and presentable and clearly marked with the size). A nominal price is placed on the item and then presented to the membership as a whole for perusal and possible purchase. Items not purchased could be returned to the original owner or provided to a local Good Will/Salvation Army store. The Chapter would then have the proceeds from this sale.

For planning purposes, Becky sees an additional $120/year coming from the 50-50 raffle (assuming 10 meetings a year with about 25 participants per meeting). The door prize, assuming only four such a year, could bring in an additional $100. And each clothing sale could range from as low as $10 to as high as $100. These events could result in an increase of between $230 to $320 a year to our budget.

Your comments and suggestions are always welcome…as is your cash!

Membership Pledge.

Several months ago Grace suggested that as we grow in size, there is a possibility that our growth might outstrip our civility. True familiarity does not always breed contempt but rather the more we know a person the more considerate we are of that person. So as we grow larger and larger, we might lose that special bond within the Chapter that we once had. An answer to this potential problem, as well as a means for setting forth our values to newcomers, might be a membership pledge. Several versions were attempted and what follows is the result of a synthesis of ideas. Your comments are welcome and Grace has designated Becky (Beckyxd@hotmail.com) as the focal point for any and all recommendations.

As a member of Chi Epsilon Sigma, I have carefully considered the responsibilities I am undertaking both toward myself and toward the other members of this sorority. I hereby acknowledge that I have read, understand, and agree to abide by the by-laws of Chi Epsilon Sigma. I also pledge:

To Accept Responsibility for my acts and words as a member of Chi Epsilon Sigma. I am a responsible adult and I assume responsibility for contributing to the Chapter's health and welfare by being active in Chi Epsilon Sigma activities.

To Exercise Confidentiality related to Chi Epsilon Sigma members as well as to Chapter business and activities.

To Demonstrate Respect for the personal attitudes, feelings, and perceptions of others. While others may not share my attitudes, feelings, and perceptions, they have respected mine and I agree to respect theirs.

To Strive for Self-Development for myself and to assist others along their path of personal growth. Others preceded me on this path of personal growth and made my joining the Chapter easier and I will assist those who follow me in the same manner.

To Display a Positive Attitude towards my participation in Chi Epsilon Sigma activities recognizing that as members we rely on each other for encouragement, cooperation, and mutual support.

To Demonstrate Selflessness towards those who are closest to me, whether they are aware of my interests or not.

To Show Kindness towards fellow Chi Epsilon Sigma members and to other members of the Society for the Second Self.

The Bookworm's Column

Quarterly Book Discussion

The book selected for the first Discussion Gathering was JoAnn Roberts’ Coping with Crossdressing. Those participating in the discussion followed, more or less, a suggested set of questions that served as a vehicle for analyzing JoAnn’s work (now in its third edition).

The discussion proved to be very lively at times with all parties weighing in with their opinions and perceptions of this relatively short work 84 pages in length). While everyone present agreed that JoAnn met her objective of providing a book about understanding crossdressers and their relationships with their spouses and significant others. However, there was not unanimous agreement on the answers to the remaining questions by any means and there was a great deal of give-and-take—with plenty of laughs shared as well. However, there was complete agreement that these candid and heartfelt interchanges did change some perceptions as well as opened some eyes. Of particular interest was one spouse’s comments that while she thought that this book was well balanced in its presentation, there were few, if any, perspectives as seen by the wife or significant other. She was questioned at length on this comment and made a good case for her argument.

One outcome of this session was the "planting" of a seed of a potential video presentation that would directly tackle the momentous event of "coming out" to a loved one. A second suggestion that evolved out of the discussion was a recommendation that Grace , Becky, and Yvonne develop a program for a monthly meeting that would allow all who wanted to participate to determine their "Myers-Briggs Type" (MBTI) with a follow-on session that would show ways to use that knowledge for enhanced personal communications. And yet another result of the critical review of JoAnn’s work was the recommendation that this book should be a primary reference for those who have first come to peace with themselves as crossdressers and then wish to inform their wives or significant others.

Since all who participated agreed that this three-hour session was a very worthwhile endeavor, Grace agreed to do additional research and come up with several recommendations for next quarter’s book.

Roles and Functions.

Everyone who attended the April through June sessions of the Chapter will admit that they are tired of discussing and 'cussing about by-laws, roles, and functions…"Let's party!" was the war cry! However, we're fast approaching the time for elections for next year's Executive Board. (A quick reminder…the Chair becomes the Director and the Vice Chair becomes Chair…so we'll be electing a Vice Chair, Secretary, and Treasurer plus--if the amendment passes, two Members at Large…) And what is needed is a quick scan of what the roles and functions of each of those individuals might be within our Chapter. Once again, Grace has dumped on asked Becky to be the lightning rod focal point for comments and suggestions…Beckyxd@hotmail.com.

ROLES AND FUNCTIONS OF CHI EPSILON SIGMA

EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE AND CHAIRPERSONS

CHAIR:

• To serve as the presiding officer at all meetings of the Chi Epsilon Sigma (Chapter) and the Executive Committee in accordance with Roberts’ Rules of Order (modified as required).
• To serve as the spokesperson for Chi Epsilon Sigma Chapter with National Headquarters, Tri-Ess, with sister chapters, and with other organizations (including the media), ensuring that the Chapter’s collective feelings are fully and properly expressed.
• To provide the necessary vision for the Chapter and its members through both times of growth and periods of stress so as to ensure that the goals of the organization are strived for continually.
• To call for meetings of the Executive Committee as deemed necessary.
• To serve as the Chapter Director during the year following one’s time as Chair.

VICE-CHAIR:

• To participate as a member of the Executive Committee.
• To serve in the stead of the Chair when necessary.
• To provide day-to-day management of the Chapter in accordance with long term objectives and goals.
• To provide resolution where possible and when necessary among or between conflicting view points or positions within the Chapter and when resolution does not appear possible, to brief the Executive Committee on the details of the issue without bias or prejudice.
• To serve as the Chair during the year following one’s time as Vice-Chair.
• Other duties as assigned.

SECRETARY:

• To participate as a member of the Executive Committee.

• To maintain all records, paper and electronic, of the Chapter’s proceedings to include detailed notes of the Executive Committee meetings for the benefit of members not attending.
• To provide summarized minutes (including decisions and taskings) to the Editor of the Newsletter in a timely and coherent manner.
• To serve as the liaison between the Executive Committee and the Newsletter Committee and Editor.
• To ensure that e-mail messages of importance are provided in a timely manner to Chapter members who do not have e-mail access.
• To be prepared to handle formal correspondence between the Chapter and other parties if so requested by the Chair.
• Other duties as assigned.

TREASURER:

• To participate as a member of the Executive Committee.

• To maintain all financial records, paper and electronic, of the Chapter in an accurate and timely manner.
• To ensure that an annual audit by a disinterested member is accomplished and that the results of the audit are made known to the Executive Committee.
• To ensure that all dues and accounts-payable are made to the Chapter in an accurate and timely manner.
• To pay all duly and properly presented bills in an accurate and timely manner.
• To ensure that the Executive Committee, for the purposes of its deliberations and decisions, is aware in a timely manner of the current and projected budget issues including projected debits and credits.
• To serve as the liaison between the Executive Committee and the Membership Committee.
• Other duties as assigned.

DIRECTOR:

• To participate as a member of the Executive Committee.

• To serve at the direction of the Chapter Chair in positions as requested.
• To assist in maintaining continuity within the Executive Committee.

MEMBER-AT-LARGE (2):

• To participate as a member of the Executive Committee.
• To provide "a different voice" to the proceedings of the Executive Committee, ensuring that policies and practices of inclusion and compassion remain as beacons. f
• To serve as liaison between the Hospitality and the Welcoming Committees and the Executive Committee.
• To serve as the liaison between the Executive Committee and the spouses, partners, and/or significant others of the Chapter, ensuring that those who find themselves in need of a willing listener will find one.

Girl talk

And now I am much more aware of the problems "genuine girls" face when shopping! And I’m not talking about rest room lines either! The issues are indeed staggering…and you’ve got to live it to understand and appreciate it! But then solving these issues is really part of the fun of shopping…

We decided after I had "come out" and things were working out, that we’d make bimonthly trips to the outlet malls and spend the day shopping for all three of us…my significant other and both me’s…en homme and en femme. (This is an agreement from a guy who, in his male mode, hates the mere idea of going into a store to do anything other than to walk in, pick up the first item that looked like it might fit, pay for it, and walk out…) And we did…and it was fun the first two times…basically I was getting my "initial issue" of items but this time with the support and advice from a GG in terms of color and fashion. (What was really nice about this was that I knew that I was going to keep these items…for the first time in 50 years this was not going to be part of a "stash" that would be "purged.")

This last time we decided I needed to get a blazer to go with an outfit we had purchased at Jacque Pennie (JC Penney) and some matching accessories like shoes and a purse. Well, trying to find the right color blazer even at an outlet mall was virtually impossible…and I originally thought it would be simple because we would be looking for a red blazer! I soon learned that there are shades of red and then there are shades of red. And I also learned that the women’s department in most places really carries a limited line of fashionable outfits…most look like they were made by Omar-the-Tent-Maker. And to find one in the right size and the right color…and the right price…I’m still cheap whether I’m en homme or en femme!…can be an insurmountable task. So we ended up with a black blazer…which reduced the variables to two—size and price.

And while the purse was a simple thing, the difficulty then rested with the heels I was looking for…once again the color was the starting point and once the color was okay, it was to see if the store had the right size. I have finally gotten to the point where I sat down in the store, took my shoes and socks off (showing the nylons underneath) and tried the heels on and even took a few steps. (An odd sensation…I was really up tight if the clerks were male but if they were female, it didn’t bother me. And I think it is because I’ve come to trust women more in terms of their ability in include people as compared to the typical male tendency to exclude a person if he doesn’t "fit the image.") Finally, after an hour or so of searching, we were able to get two pairs of heels, one the right shade of red and a second pair of black heels…a girl can never have enough shoes, can she?

Anyway, now I know first hand the joys and the frustration of shopping…lead me on! Am now ready to shop till we drop!

THE PIERCED EAR

The Pierced Ear heard by way of the outlets in the Lancaster area that two of our Chapter sisters were seen shopping en femme at the outlets! And having a good time! The Pierced Ear really wants to know where they "went" when it was time to "go"…<blush>

The Pierced Ear also heard that some of our sorority sisters will be attending Kate Thomas' class in April…are they really going to be exhibitionists? Inquiring ears want to know!

It came to the Pierced Ear's attention that the Virginia Chapter is virtual[ly] reality at this point…a tip of the Ear to Lucy and many others in the Old Dominion!

Finally, the Pierced Ear heard that a certain sorority sister had an interesting exchange with a fellow passenger on an flight…the conversation all started when the passenger recognized the Femme Mirror that our sister was reading during the flight. More to follow…we're all ears on this one!

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