As you can see at the left I’m working on my "Dear Abby" pose. Now, if you write to the Wild Rose, we’re not going to solve all your problems. What we will do is include your thoughts in our new "Letters to the Editrix" column. Thank Ellen Warren for getting us started. Her letter to the editrix has launched us. The "Letters" department is the perfect place to tell us what’s on your mind. "Letters" is for your short question, answer, comment or thought on a single issue. (If you have a lot to say, that’s great. We’ll be glad to include larger pieces as feature articles.) So, let’s hear from you!

Barbara Van Horn

Features Editrix

marshaedwards@aol.com

zoom@paonline.com

graceces@hotmail.com

ashley_grants@hotmail.com

linda_sullivan51@hotmail.com

terrilynna@hotmail.com

Rachel.Boyd@adelphia.net

beckyxd@hotmail.com

*Non-voting members

Most regular chapter meetings are held on the fourth Saturday of each month. Sometimes adjustments are made for holidays, so always

consult The Wild Rose for the latest updates. The schedule for 2003 is:

Hi Rachel and Barb:

The April addition of The Rose is outstanding. You both deserve a lot of credit. It is a lot of work. You both work hard to earn your $100 K per year. Barb, I printed out the news letter on HP photo paper. What a difference!

Rachel, I was in a seminar of CD's with a state trooper as a speaker. Your article about "Encounter with a Cop" was right on. The one thing that he said that is very important is when you are stopped (they are only stopping for traffic violations) is to lower the windows on both the drivers' and the passenger side of the car (as they sometimes approach the car from the right side due to heavy traffic). They can see inside very quickly when the windows are down (no reflection). Also turn on your hazard lights and turn off the engine. Place your hands on the steering wheel in the 10 and 2 position so they can see your hands and last when given an order (registration, license, etc.) tell them what you are going to do (I am going to get it and it is in my purse) and get their okay to do so. Finally turn on all of your interior lights even in the daylight, there are still dark places in the car even in the daylight, certainly at night. Last be very cooperative and polite.

Regarding The Rose, it would be neat to have a letter to the editor page, a thoughts from the Editor page (an Op Ed page), and perhaps an interview page with the cover girl. Just some ideas. Keep up the great work it will really help the chapter.

Your loving sister,

Ellen

By

Ellen Warren

It has been stated many times that confession is good for the soul. That may be true for the soul but it sucks for relationships and all the issues of a relationship. This article, the first of three connected articles deals with relationships. It is relative unimportant if you confessed, someone informed the person (or people) that are important to you or they found out by accident. Let’s just start with they know. As they say, lets start with the "bottom line". This article will not deal with "what" to say or "how " to say it. That is for another time and article. See how fast we are moving on!. Ok they know, but they only know what they were told or found out. It is very important in communications that the message is for the receiver not the sender. In other words as they say, you must know your audience (the state of hearing). When you communicate you want the receiver to feel good and understand not the sender. What we are dealing with here is "emotional understanding" not "intellectual understanding"

A relationship is based upon trust. You might want to look at a relationship like a joint bank account. It must have a balance, the bigger the better. You make deposits and you make withdraws. Some people love to make deposits and some people love to make only withdraws. If the account is overdrawn, it has a negative balance and your relationship may be bankrupt. If it cannot be repaired you find that your account has been closed. If that is the situation one alternative as will be discussed later is to open a new account. If you are going to make a large withdraw, you first will want to make some large deposits. Make sure that your account is healthy.

OK, what is a relationship? Let’s illustrate a relationship between two people. First there is you and think of a circle. That circle is you and your world. Everything that you perceive and understand must come into that circle. If it stops at the ring of the circle it is rejection and misunderstanding. A relationship is the interdependent joining of the two circles and can be illustrated as follows:

The shaded area is the relationship. It cannot be too thin as that will make it fragile and it cannot be to thick as that is dominance and control, it makes it difficult to breathe. As they say each party must have space to live, to breathe, to be your self, to share, to foster growth and understanding, acceptance and interdependency.

You have many relationships so there are many shaded areas in your circle, your family, employer, fellow workers, friends, neighbors all those you know and have contact with in your life. It is important with all of these relationships taking space in your circle that the individual reserve and retain space for themselves for their own peace of mind and feeling of worth. Believe me that is not being selfish. Each person must be given the opportunity to express them self, life is to short not too.

In any real or perceived crisis, it has been my experience that individuals go through four stages to restore their balance and direction. These crises can be personal, family, job and career related, economic and many more situations. If the individual can pass through each of these stages quickly to stage Four, then there is rapid movement to a satisfactory resolution. Some individuals get stuck on stage One or Two and resolution, comprise, understanding and acceptance is difficult to achieve. When we discuss counseling, we will come back to this point as it is critical in the process of emotional understanding and emotional acceptance.

REACTION Extreme surprise, being speechless, not knowing how to react dread and terror are exhibited, showing emotion in which dread veneration and wonder are variously mingled as fearful with insecurity and anxiety, with the feeling of doom.

THEIR RESPONSE "I don’t know what to say, you have lied to me, you have ruined me and our relationship, you have cheated me, what am I going to do, you know it’s over. I don’t want to see you or talk to you, I need time to think, we can’t go on, why me!".

YOUR RESPONSE Just listen, listen and listen, offer reinsurances of support and caring This is not the time to explain, get into an intellectual discussion, negotiate, apologize, try to undo, try to correct, make promises, work it out. Your purpose is to get to stage three or four as soon as reasonable. You have taken on the responsibility of being the "path finder". This is not the time to suggest counseling. That will come later. Finally, don’t say "I need your help". You don’t need the other person’s help, you need the other person’s relationship.

REACTION Feelings of ire, fury, indignation, wrath with strong displeasure and rejection with rage, loss of emotional control and self control, making quick and sudden decisions, showing a high degree of stress and fear, indignation stressing righteous, considers one unfair, mean or shameful, wrath with suggestions, desires or intends to punish or destroy, to make one feel guilty or weak or dirty. The desire to take charge, control and take over the situation, to dominate.

THEIR RESPONSE Attacking statements, cursing, calling names, putting one down, being derogatory, "I am so hurt and you are going to pay, you don’t care about me, this is what you think of me and our relationship, I am going to get even with you, I will tell you what you are going to do, what we are going to do, from now on our relationship if we have one will be on my terms". Showing denial, putting up an emotional wall. "I will not be hurt and you are to stop this immediately".

YOUR RESPONSE Just listen, listen and listen. It takes two to tango so don’t become responsive, don’t become defensive. Try to be understanding, stress support and acceptance. If possible try to find humor as humor defuses anger. Anger, sometimes is like the flu, it has got to run its course. Don’t make any commitments or promises unless you plan to keep them. You do great damage to a relationship if you must reverse yourself later on. Be honest and stress trust. You are watching energy pour out and the sooner that energy is expended the sooner you can move to Stage Three. Above all don’t get into that emotional dance of death where there is a winner and a loser. If you are asked a question, answer simply, direct and be honest (not a bad rule for life), don’t try to give some type of long involved complex answer. If you don’t know the answer just answer "I don’t know", there is nothing wrong with that answer.

REACTION To start to rely on another for support, to reestablish trust and to start to form a new relationship, to form mutual comprises, to make mutual agreements, to ask each other for help, stop making threats, start using the word "we" instead of "you" or "I", trying to put the pieces back together, to start to think of the future instead of the past, to look for ways to eliminate the feeling of "doom", think of acceptance and less of rejection, to start to tear down the emotional wall, to start to heal.

THEIR RESPONSE "Can you help me to understand, am I still important, what kind of relationship will we have", apologizing for things said during the stage of anger, giving out compliments, starting to be curious, desiring a closer relationship, finding humor and developing trust. Desiring to be interdependent and to start to form a new relationship.

YOUR RESPONSE Be genuine. Start making lots of deposits to your emotional bank account. Now is time to think about and suggest counseling. A counselor as will be discussed in the next article is no more than a guide. A guide that will help you start down your new path of your new relationship. Open up your communications be honest and learn to express yourself in the "we" mode. Provide as much emotional stability and security as possible, learning and teaching interdependency.

REACTION Coming to terms with the relationship, jointly making plans for the future, wanting to learn more, wanting to share, showing humor and enjoyment, being positive and accepting, not feeling threatened and realizing that it is the whole person that is important and not the parts of the person.

THEIR REPONSE "Can we do this together, let me teach you what I know, where can I learn more, I want our worlds to be as one, I want to share, I want you to support me as me and I want to support you as you as we go through life together.

YOUR RESPONSE "This is the start of a wonderful new relationship, you are very important to me and I want to share my life with you, you can teach me and I want to learn from you, we can now do everything together, I now realize how wonderful you are"

Relationships are dynamic they are always changing, it is so important to keep making deposits to your relationship account. You can only accept a person for what they are, not what you want them to be. Finally, you must accept yourself first before you can accept others.

I thought I would share with you, a couple of coincidences that have happened to me over the years.

This is one of my favorites. After I got laid off from Westinghouse, I went to work for the Applied Physics Lab in Columbia. There, I worked out of this (very) small room with another guy (good thing we got along!) at one of the research facilities. Steve and I got to be good friends. We even carpooled for about two years. We both loved good-looking women, and when carpooling, would give a vibrant thumbs up when seeing one along the street. We went flying together, we went to train shows, yadda, yadda, yadda.

About two months before I quit there, he asks if we can go for a walk at lunchtime. Okay. So we went on this walk. I was as surprised to hear what he had to say, as he was to hear what I had to say. He confessed that he wanted to be a woman. Before telling him about myself, I asked how he came about confiding in me. He said Courtney, "up on the hill" directed him to me (the building(s) we worked in were at the bottom of the hill at APL). Courtney was (then) a pre-op TS, and everyone at the APL knew of her. Steve tracked her down, and started asking questions. This is when Courtney told him to look me up, and it’s also before Courtney discovered that we worked in the same room! Needless to say, what are the chances a TS and TV could work side by side for four years and never know it? To make this coincidence even worse, she now works at a place in New Jersey where one of our CES sisters works! (Names changed to protect us from ourselves)

Okay, number two. Courtney, the girl from the last coincidence......she went to high school and graduated in the same class as my sister! Ohmygosh!

Back in 1989 when I was doing the drag show thing all the time, I saw a girl one night in the Hippo, that I thought was a security guard where I worked. This girl had been giving me a hard time for years whenever I went in and out of the buildings up in Hunt Valley. So when she went to the bathroom, I asked her friend if her nane was Diane. The other girl asked, "Who wants to know?". I told her, that if it was her, I worked with her. About that time, she came back and we talked. I told her who I was, and she said I didn’t look like the Todd that she knew. And I said. "I hope not, I work very hard on this look!". We parted ways telling each other, if you don’t tell anyone about me, I won’t tell anyone about you. She never gave me a hard time again!

And speaking of the Hippo, one of the bartenders there graduated from high school in the same class as I did. In fact, we were on the track and field and cross-country teams together!

Marsha went to the same school as my ex-wife and one of my best friends, and knows both of them!

And I have to throw in a couple of non-TG coincidences. My boss from my last job. He lived in Florida, and we worked for a company located in Oregon. He graduated from high school in the same year I did (1969), and from Anne Arundel High (it’s close enough to count as a coincidence!).

As good as the first coincidence is, I have one even better. My last job took me to far off places (I was a field engineer). I was in Minneapolis. I had changed the day of my return flight from Thursday to Friday. I always got to the airport early, so I had time to burn. I went looking for some lunch. I usually do BK or McD’s, today it was Pizza Hut. Once bought, I had to find a place to sit down and eat. I usually take it to the gate, this time I didn’t. There were a few tables in the middle of the concourse (MSP’s concourses are a lot wider and more open than ours here at BWI). Of the four chairs at the table, I elected to sit facing the food outlets. A few minutes later, I see my aunt and uncle riding down the concourse on one of those powered "handicap" carts. I yelled out, they stopped, and found out they were on their way to their summer home in Michigan, AND that they usually don’t transfer in Minneapolis, just this one time! I came across a math professor later that year, and asked him if he had any idea what the chances were of that encounter, but he didn’t have a clue where to start, there were just too many variables.

BTW, we do have a number of members that graduated from high school in that good year of 1969!

Lucy and I have archived all of our newsletter articles on a web site called "Joan and Lucy's Corner" (http://joanandlucy.tripod.com/index.html) The following letter was sent to me by one of our readers. I found this lady had, after much trauma and soul searching, come up with some insights into crossdressing that I decided just had to be shared with others. Lucy and I hope they continue on their path to recovery.

Several weeks later, she sent me this follow-up note, indicating how well their relationship is progressing:

By

Lucy Stone

I certainly enjoyed the visit of our sisters from Chi Epsilon Sigma at Rho Tau's March meeting, but I am afraid it's true that I introduced the little used term, "phenotype" into a conversation that was apparently overheard by CES's roving reporter. You are probably wondering why I -- seemingly being of sound mind -- would do such a thing within earshot of a roving reporter. After all, she was in town to cover the Rho Tau fashion show, and the use of a term that one would expect to be uttered during the deliberations of a high school biology class certainly seemed inappropriate in such a setting.

You can imagine my concern when I heard it rumored that my unfortunate use of such an obscure term on the evening prior to the Rho Tau fashion show had shocked this sensitive Baltimore lady of considerable refinement. Several ladies told me that it had taken her several hours afterward to recover her sense of propriety. Further, it was rumored that the stress of the evening caused her to oversleep, and she ran behind all day Saturday. As a result she almost missed the first runway appearance of her editrix, Rachel.

While I don't know if the rumors that I cited were at all true, I certainly hope they are not for I would not like to get the reputation for carelessly inflicting harm on other ladies of refinement. In my defense, I would like to remind everyone that it was the very nature of this occasion that brought this bit of obscure scientific jargon to mind. For the word "phenotype" refers to the appearance of an organism in a given environment. And I could not help reflecting on how often many of us whose phenotype in public expresses our sex will don clothing that is more in harmony with our feminine side when we are in an environment where we feel less threatened. And certainly a fashion show is the best of environments for satisfying the need of each of us for a friendly environment where our suppressed gender can blossom forth.

I cannot help but feel there was some truth to the rumors that circulated concerning my unfortunate choice of words. For it is evident that the trauma from the experience had a lingering affect on the good lady from The Wild Rose. This is apparent from her choice of title for her fashion show article, "Phenotypes in Williamsburg." However, I am relieved that she was sufficiently recovered by the time she wrote her article for the April issue of The Wild Rose of The Chesapeake to demonstrate her usual literary excellence. How wonderful it was to see all of the ladies of both sexes from Chi Epsilon Sigma come together with the Rho Tau ladies of both sexes. Everyone looked so wonderful dressed in their feminine finery that no one, other than those of us present, would have suspected that the sex of many of us was opposite our presented gender.

OK, you’ve shaved incredibly close and have applied a perfect foundation that gives you the clear flawless complexion any civilized woman would die for. Now it’s time to begin the real artwork, top to bottom. And at the top are the eyebrows. Don’t flinch, ladies! Pencil thin brows have been "out" for years. But, brows resembling a shop push broom are not in either. If you have a "manly" day job don’t over-do all at once. Still, having well groomed brows isn’t likely to make co-works raise an….eye brow. So, from one of my favorite web sites http://www.free-beauty-tips.com/ here’s what to do.

Six Steps To Perfect Eyebrows

1. Brush brows upward. Carefully trim any excess hair above the top of your natural arch. Be careful not to take off too much at the ends or you'll have brow "bald" spots.

2. Look closely at the shape. Your brow should begin at your tear duct, peak at the outer edge of your iris and end at the outer corner of your eye. "Many women make the mistake of taking off too much at the outer corners," says Weston. "This slants the brows upward and makes the person look perpetually angry."

3. Prep your skin: Soak a cotton ball in astringent and wipe the brow area.

4. Hold a pencil in line with the outer side of your iris and note where the peak of your arch naturally occurs. From the arch to the outer corner of the eye, your brow should fall in a straight or slightly curved line, depending on the look you're trying to achieve.

5. Hold the tweezers at a 45 degree angle and pluck the stray hairs below the brow line. "Pull in the direction of the hair growth, or you may end up breaking the hair mid-shaft," says Engle. Follow your natural brow shape, not the trends. "It's very difficult to let your brows grow back into their natural shape after you've plucked them to death trying to achieve a particular look," she says.

6. Fill in sparse areas with a freshly sharpened brow pencil; use light, quick strokes to draw in hair. Brow powder will give thin brows overall definition, and is great for a more natural look. Using the brow brush, sweep powder up and outward over brows. If you're a brow novice, a tinted brow gel is a foolproof way to keep brows in place. Lightly coat brows using upward and outward strokes. Wipe off any excess and allow it to set.

By

Rachel Rene Boyd

Next to the mirror, the camera is a crossdresser’s best friend. Some people say that’s because we are self-centered and narcissistic. One researcher called it autogynephilia, a term he constructed to describe the obsession that some males have when seeing themselves as a female.

About five years ago, I decided I needed some really nice pictures of myself to use on the website and the newsletter. Like many crossdressers I have quite a collection of snapshots, but none of them were even close to professional quality. So I selected a woman photographer to have some really special pictures made. She hired a cosmetologist to do my hair and makeup, and then spent about two hours with me in the photo shoot. After some retouching the results were spectacular. But so was the price.

So when I decided recently to have some new photos made, I went to the Glamour Shots store in the Springfield Mall. They do the same process, but on a more assembly line basis. That reduces the cost quite a bit, with some sacrifice in the quality of the product, but still much better than a snapshot.

I called and made an appointment in my best Rachel voice for a Wednesday morning. Now I know I have never "passed" on the telephone, but humor me a little. The lady making my appointment was very courteous, offering me two instructions for the day of the photo shoot – bring two outfits, and don’t wear any makeup.

Following the instructions, I arrived at Glamour Shots at 9:30 AM and was greeted by the same young lady who had made my appointment. She offered me coffee, and had me take a seat in front of the mirror at the makeup counter, which is in full view of anyone walking through the mall. She started by clipping my wig to keep it out of my face while she did the makeup. Of course that partially exposed my male style sideburns. Never mind. No untoward notice was taken. I mentioned to her, "You know I felt a little naked coming into the mall without any makeup. I don’t think I have ever been out without makeup."

"Oh, I come in without makeup every morning and then do it when I get here. They insist that we all wear makeup while we are working." Of course, go without makeup is different for her.

She did a nice natural look for me. I told her I wanted a professional woman look. After about 30 minutes we were ready for the camera room. She took about a dozen pictures in each of my two outfits, varying the props and backgrounds. I asked her if it was difficult to hire people who can do both the makeup and the photography. Usually people are trained in one or the other. She said they do look for people with skills in one or both areas, but Glamour Shots has a training program to hone their skills where needed. Hmm. Sounds like a fun place to work!

After the shoot it took 15-20 minutes to process the pictures electronically. While she did that, I took a walk in the mall and got a pretzel and drink. When I got back we looked at all of the pictures on a video screen to select the best ones for prints. We had fun doing that. She would tell me which ones she liked the best. We agreed that a few of them were too "mannish". Of course the best ones were the ones where I had loosened up and didn’t try so hard to pose. She said she liked the ones that showed a little "attitude".

Finally I was able to narrow my selections down to nine pictures, which in the 5x7 size I wanted, cost a total of about $400.00. I didn’t ask what the minimum charge would have been, but clearly one could spend a lot of money here if you buy a lot of prints. They can do miracles with retouching, but that also retouches your purse a bit too. The prints were mailed to me in about a week, saving me the extra trip to pick them up.

This month we learn more about one of our long time CES members Rachel Boyd. Rachel is one of our most "out and about" sisters. You go, girl!

1. Name: Rachel Rene Boyd

2. Community: Leesburg, VA



2. Age: How dare you ask? (Fifty something)

4. Spouse: Coldly tolerant.

5. Hobbies: Singing, bicycling, concerts, reading, Co-Editrix of the best newsletter in Tri-Ess !

6. Likes: Shoes and handbags that match.

6. Dislikes: Going back to drab after sharing an outing with my CES sisters.

8. Joining CES: I had been in email contact with Grace for some months prior to the formation of CES. I wasn’t able to attend the drab organizational meetings, but I was there for the first drag meeting in June 1998.

9. Your favorite CD activity: Going out! It’s all about going out. To the theater, to dinner, to lunch, to the mall, etc. Can’t get enough of it.

10. Your dream CD adventure: Everything I love to do, I love to do more en femme. My dream adventure would be to take an extended vacation, maybe a month or so, in my preferred gender expression.

11. Your philosophy of CD life in one sentence: We crossdressers are blessed to be able to enjoy the best parts of being male and of being female.

By

Kathy

I know I will never fully understand the confusion, the uncertainty, and fears that CD’s have suffered during their lives. I met my first CD back in 1969 while I worked grooming dogs in Pikesville. I had just moved from the backward hills of Carroll County and was amazed. But I found her to be a gracious lady and accepted her as a woman. Since then I had seen a few other CDs. But I never really thought about their lives and the worlds they lived in till I met Kim.

A few of you know our story…. We had dated about two and a half months and our relationship was moving forward. I liked this guy. He was different from anyone I had ever dated...and I was soon to learn why. One day when we pulled into the driveway of my house, he got real serious and told me he had to tell me something. I got this funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was prepared for him to tell me he didn’t want to see me anymore… But instead he looks at me and said I am a crossdresser! And what do I say? "Is that all? That’s not a problem…."

I now know that my answer was not what was expected and I had a speechless CD sitting across from me… I saw my first photos of Kim that evening and met Kim a few days later. I was a little nervous in the beginning but I have never regretted becoming part of Kim’s world. I feel like I am the luckiest woman alive. I have two people… both people I love.

Those first few months of Kim’s new freedom were like a kid in a candy store. Finally she had someone to share her world. I sat back and listen. Like any woman, Kim could talk and talk. I asked lots of questions about CD’s and tried to understand how a person can live in that closet without any support. How can CD’s keep their other half hidden from family and friends? I learned about the rejection from the few people Kim had told about being a CD. My biggest fear was that Kim would decide to be Kim always. I needed both people. As the weeks went by I learned more and more about CDs. Together we have read, discussed and talked with other CDs. I know we both have a better understanding of ourselves. Bearing one’s soul to another person can be difficult, but if two people want a relationship to work they need to understand each other.

.

As the months passed, Kim realized that she needed to find other CDs. I supported Kim’s search because we both needed support. Many hours on the Internet and Kim found CES! Lots of questions have been answered since becoming members for both of us. Every meeting helps us to understand each other and let’s us know that we are not the only couple who live our lives this way.

I will never forget the first time we went shopping. Kim was in drab but to be able to really look at bras, slips and silky nightgowns and not worry. Kim was walking on air! I was having a great time too! The smiles on Kim’s face when I surprised her with a dress or a pair of earrings was priceless! (Kim’s wardrobe did need some help) There are so many wonderful memories.

I know this sounds like a CD’s fairy tale. A CD finds a lady who accepts them 100% and lives happily ever after! We learned that we needed to support each other. The three of us needed to share each other and I needed both Kim and Ken. There were times in the beginning that Kim over whelmed me. Ken was so excited to finally be able to be Kim. (Continued on Page 18, "I too"…)

By

Rosemary and Theresa

It has been a long cold winter, and here it is Wednesday, April 16, 2003. Two memorable events come to mind on this date. The Battle of Culloden Moor in 1746 and my first real fight in 1947. That was also on a Wednesday and I won that fight even though I suffered a swollen left eye.

This day was predicted to be a warm sunny day and we really needed it. We had planned to leave our home in South Central New Jersey at 1000 hours, but just when we were ready to go my Fire Department pager let go with it’s shrill, whistling sound followed by the dispatcher’s voice saying where the fire was. I said to Theresa that I had to go to the fire so off came the makeup and wig and off I went to perform my duty as a firefighter.

We finally left at 1100 with the Beatles’ singing "Here Comes The Sun" on our CD System. This song was so appropriate for this warm summer day. We drove South on the Garden State Parkway, crossing the extension of the Mason Dixon Line in South Jersey until we came to the Atlantic City exit. We drove to Atlantic Avenue in the city and turned onto St. James Place where our first stop, "The Irish Pub", is located. I always remember this street because the Guinness Brewery is located at St. Jame’s Gate in Dublin, Ireland.

We parked across the street from the pub and when we entered Theresa couldn’t see a thing because of her poor eyesight and the darkness. We walked between the bar where there were many men sitting on bar stools and the wall where there were many photos of old time boxers, ball players, politicians, etc. One photo was of Tommy Loughran who was a former, light heavyweight Champion of the World. He was present at a few of my CYO fights and he had given me an autographed photo of himself. We found a booth near the bar and the ladies’ room and on the wall by the booth was a large photo of the former Mayor of New York City, James Walker. Theresa said that her paternal grandfather was Jimmy Walker’s Secretary.

A waitress came over to our booth and asked, "What would you ladies like to have?" Some of the men at the bar looked us over because, I think, that they saw my T-shirt that had "JERSEY GIRL" written on it in pink letters on a white background. They thought of us as two older ladies enjoying lunch and having a "Girl Talk" conversation about our children, grandchildren and how we will decorate our home.

We went to the ladies’ room before we left then we drove to Bally’s Casino and parked in their multi-storied parking garage. We went to the Casino room, played some slots, then went out on the Boardwalk. We walked North to the Korean War Memorial where a stranger offered to take our pictures with my camera in front of a bronze battle scene. I told Theresa that I had seen the Battles of "Pork Chop Hill" and "Old Baldy" where I earned my one Engagement Star on my Korean Service Medal. We returned to the Bally’s Casino and visited the ladies’ room before starting the trip home. On the way I stopped at a rest area to get a cup of Starbuck’s coffee where I was waited on by two young men. They didn’t read me because if they had they would have been smiling and looking at each other. Even the "JERSEY GIRL" shirt didn’t cause them to wonder. When we arrived home I thanked Theresa for going to Atlantic City with me, en femme, and how happy I am when we go out as two ladies.

There is another part to this story and that is when I looked at the Newsletter from one of the Veterans’ organizations that I belong to, I read that they had a Bus Trip to Bally’s in Atlantic City at the same day and time that we were there. If I had known this I would have either gone on a different day or stayed far away from Bally’s. If one of the members had seen Theresa then they would have wondered who I was for about ten seconds and then I may have been "outed" by my Veteran friends. We were lucky at the Casino in more ways that one!

I too, was learning and experiencing this new world. We have learned together and are still learning. But isn’t that what life is all about?

There have been a few hills we have had to climb. We have learned to solve those problems before they become mountains. All relationships have to be based on trust and the ability to talk to one another. I loved Ken so how could I not love Kim… and how many other women can have their backs scratched with long finger nails?

Entertainment will be available each evening, will be available each evening, including a trip to Drury Lane Theater, The Golden Lady, one of Chicago’s Lakefront dinner cruises, and Friday evening will be a Las Vegas style buffet followed by Bob West, Chicago’s best Elvis impersonator, Regina Upright as Cher and emceed by Comedian Gigolo Johnny. Visit http://www/be-all.org for additional information.

Do you need to get away? Do you want to meet new sisters? Do you need to be yourself for several days in a row? Well, have we got answers for you! There are several transgender events in the coming months that afford us the opportunity to "Be all we can be" in completely supportive environment.

If you are aching to burn some frequent flyer miles, try Esprit Gala, May 11-18, 2003 in Port Angeles, Washington. (That’s on the left coast, dear!). They are offering a full slate of informative presentations and panel discussions, and a whole host of activities. Contact www.espritconf.com for complete registration information.

Sunday: Hosted Cocktail Party

Monday: Open Dancing

Wednesday: A Roman Holiday (costume and dance party)

Thursday: Open Dancing

Friday: Lunch – Fashion Show

Evening – Talent Show

Saturday: Graduation Banquet followed by an all night Slumber Party

For spouses and their non-crossdressed males, there’s A Yankee Doodle Dandy of a S.P.I.C.E. coming up July 9-13, 2003 in Windsor Locks, Connecticut. Besides the usual great technical program, there are opportunities for J.C. Penny Outlet shopping, Mohegan Sun Casino, Christmas Tree Shop, Yankee Candle Village, New England Air Museum, a lobster bake, and the Basketball Hall of Fame. For reservations, call 1-800-627-5171, or contact spiceladyjoy@yahoo.com.

The 12th Annual Southern Comfort Conference convenes September 17-22, 2003 in Atlanta, Georgia. Here you’ll find support, information and friends in a welcoming atmosphere of Southern hospitality. Vendors, authors, entertainers and leaders from the entire spectrum of the transgender community will be on hand for five days of learning, networking and fun. Daytimes are given over to an extensive program of informative seminars, shopping at the large vendors’ area and group luncheons that feature entertaining and provocative speakers from the leadership of the transgender community. Evenings are given over to celebration; and the gathering of the transgender clan at SCC is always a festive affair. If you enjoy the nightlife, you’ll love Southern Comfort — we provide free shuttle service to after-hours nightclubs each evening. Visit www.sccatl.org or email info@sccatl.org for more information.

The Chicago area gender groups will be hosting Be-All, June3-8, 2003 in Arlington Heights, IL. The Chicagoland area offers some of the best professionals available to the transgender community. Seminars will be held in Both AM and PM time slots. A variety of subjects will be covered ranging from legal issues for the TG community, to procedures for cosmetic and SRS surgeries, to poise and makeup, to your general health and hormone therapy.

Be-All will also have a full vendor area for your every need—shoes, a special outfit, a makeover, some kinky leather of vinyl, books, etc. And of course there will be shuttle service to Woodfield Mall daily, one of Chicagoland’s premiere shopping centers featuring Marshall Fields, Lord and Taylor, Nordstrom, Tall Girls, and on and on and on and on......

Chi Epsilon Sigma has a lending library of books, videos, and cassette tapes for our members. Here is a list of our current holdings, and how you can access the library.

2) Contact me, Becky (beckyxd@hotmail.com or snail-mail at CES, % Becky Adams, PO Box 505, Brooklandville, MD 21022, for your selection.