This Month's Features

Congratulations, CES! from Jane Ellen Fairfax
Reciprocal Agreement with Rho Tau
A Series of Firsts, Mary Alice Barrett
Girl Talk, What's Your Gauge? Becky Adams
Lucy's Window, Lucy Stone
Salon Nails, Rachel Rene Boyd
Nicole's Brother Finds Out, Nicole Thomas
Paula's Clipping Service, News Articles about Crossdressing, Paula Evans
The Keirsey Temperament Sorter II, Becky Adams

Rachel Rene Boyd
Newsletter Editrix

Love to all of you,
Jane Ellen Fairfax, MD
Chair, Tri-Ess Board of Directors

Reciprocal Agreement with Rho Tau Chapter

We have reciprocal arrangement with our sisters at Rho Tau, the Richmond Tidewater Chapter, which allows us to attend each other's meeting and events at member costs. However, we are not considered voting members with respect to chapter business. The cost is half the normal membership rate, in other words $18/$24 individual/couple. If you are interested in being an affiliate member of Rho Tau please send your check to Rho Tau, PO Box 13244, Chesapeake, VA 23325-0244. Rho Tau meets the third Saturday of each month.

A Series of Firsts

By Mary Alice Barrett

There is a first time for everything...Last fall, while mowing the lawn, I first informed my wife of 28 years...that I was (GASP)..A CROSSDRESSER! Well, as most of you know, she handled it well, after the dust had settled...she told me that it was a part of me, and, SHE would help. For the first time in 40-some years of being aware that I really LIKED to wear lacy, dainty & feminine things, I was able to see my femme self in the mirror. This was after discovering Tri-Ess on the ³WEB² and finding out for the first time...that I really was not alone in this, that there were others that felt as I do.... That I was not perverted...that there were others that wanted to know this emerging person who I now was able to call by name. I took the first step, I e-mailed Grace. About a week went by, Grace replied with what is now known as "The Letter"...I was glad to find that Chi Epsilon Sigma had standards, security and really caring people. The phone & personal interviews followed...the phone conversation with Grace lasted about an hour and a half...and it was wonderful! Finally I had at least one other person that had "been there", fully understood what I was going through and really let me let it all out. I was invited to a board meeting at Emily & Laurieıs home (another first!) and was received as a long lost relative (sister!) One of the first questions I was asked was: "So, what does it feel like coming into a room full of crossdressers for the FIRST time?" I had to say it was comfortable & a relief!

My first meeting...I was, of course, late. Not being able to drive down en femme, I had a carefully selected outfit in the car... And arrived too late to dress, but it didn't matter... I was disappointed, but everyone greeted me and treated me as a sister! The meeting was a revelation; there were really others like me! I met some very nice people, shared experiences, and had a wonderful time. The second meeting...now that was a first. Prior to the meeting, I contacted Heather Anne, and arranged for a makeover and a wig consult... more kindness from Emily & Laurie, Heather Anne worked her magic (I canıt wait for her shop to open!). I had purchased a new outfit for the pool party...this was to be my debut, the first time dressed completely en femme with anyone other than my wife. I had to work that Saturday, so I was in a real rush...did I have everything?...the list was long, dress, shoes, underpinnings, hose, makeup, wig & jewelry.... Also had to bring a food item. Another late arrival, however, now there was time...I arrived and Laurie directed me to a nice upstairs bathroomŠquiet & secluded. I now had to compose myself and "assemble" everything I had brought & planned. As I dressed & applied my makeup.... Looking in the mirror, I saw my femme self emerge, and I thought of all the kindness that had brought me here...First Grace, then Emily & Laurie, so many other sisters and their wives.... Most important, my wife, who supported me and helped me "do it right". I put on my wig & jewelry, straightened everything, powdered my nose one last time and went out the door and down the stairs. About halfway down the stairs, I realized that I was NOT nervous, scared, or even uncomfortable...I just wanted to be there! As I walked into the living room & kitchenŠthere was a small round of applause.... Mary Alice had arrived, and for the FIRST time, I was really one of the girls..Sisters of Chi Epsilon Sigma, I am so proud to be one of you!

Girl Talk What's Your Gauge?

By Becky Adams

Tri-Ess, as a national organization, and Chi Epsilon Sigma, as an separate entity as well as a member of Tri-Ess, has been subjects of a number of hurtful remarks in several public forums. For Tri-Ess this matter of being called unpleasant names is nothing new but for CES, and some Chapter members, this is a new and unpleasant experience.

At this point 95% of you who are reading this are wondering what Becky is meandering about this time. Well, essentially Tri-Ess is being described in several transgender forums and elsewhere as an up-tight, prudish, exclusionary, dictatorial, ad nauseum organization of homophobes, etc.

So, are we...any or all of the above? Should we answer these comments in a public forum? What is our position on being an "open" organization? What is our rationale? Is it an ethical position? Is it fitting to our feminine natures?

No, we're not an organization that fits the descriptive terms used by several others to define us, either nationally or locally. We are an organization that recognizes that there are a good number of "open" organizations out there for transsexuals, homosexuals, fetishists, etc. And we fully encourage all to find an organization that fits their respective devices and desiresŠrecognizing that our organization does not serve as a personal forum but rather a collective voice. Simply stated, our Chapter has none of those unique interests noted above as an organizational element. Our stated purpose is to be a support group for heterosexual crossdressers and their significant others. The worst that can be said about us is that we are selective. We do inform those who seek us out of our interests. If it is obvious that we do not share common interests, then we do not encourage them to join us. We do, however, assist them in finding organizations that can meet their interests simply because someone helped us find Tri-Ess and we owe to others who are searching to assist them.

Should we respond and defend ourselves in the public forum? I seriously don't think so...public arguments rarely, if ever, change another individual's mind and the more that is said, the more things can be read into our position and the more that can be misread and misquoted. Silence to critics is sometimes the best policy. In a practical sense, many readers come in somewhere after the first verbal attacks and initial defenses have been launched, when the rhetoric really becomes heated, and the fireworks are beginning! From a different perspective, it soon becomes apparent that a party is carrying on a one-sided diatribe when there has been no response--usually the diatribe ends or it moves into the hyperbole stage and then the aggrieved individual loses all objectivity...and sympathy.

What is our rationale for being selective? Simply that most of us in CES have explored and looked at other arenas and have decided that they were not for or of our interests. So we found ourselves a group of like-minded individuals and we formed an organization that permits us to indulge in our interests and practices while maintaining a degree of insularity and security. What difference then, one may legitimately ask, is there between CES' selective behavior and that of a white supremacist group or a homophobic organization? Simply that organizations such as the KKK or the American Nazi Party define their position based on the denial of rights of others and on a perception of an inherent superiority of the organization and its members and its policies when compared to others. We do neither. We fully encourage all to seek and to join organizations that will meet their critical needsŠwe all have that right, it is inalienable, it is the "pursuit of happiness." Neither are we superior nor, because of our range of interests, are we inferior. We are equal to and have the same rights, strengths, and weaknesses of any group of humans who have voluntarily sought others out of a similar nature and shared interests. To borrow an analogy, we are but one thread in the tapestry of human sexuality and gender--unique, separate, distinct, equal, no better, no worse, no more brilliant, no more muted than any other thread in that tapestry.

Ethical? Yes, it is very ethical in that it follows a firm logic tree...we are not transsexuals, we are not homosexuals, we are heterosexual crossdressers... simple and direct. It is not logical for an organization composed of members who have searched and explored "open" groups and found those groups not meeting their needs to then become an "open" group itself.

Is it fitting our feminine natures? I firmly believe so...for two reasons. First, studies have shown that women are very principled while remaining very inclusionary ...break the principle that binds the group together and the group can become exclusionary as far as the individual who violates the principle will learn. How many of our wives have wanted to know how we, as men, could work with so-and-so ethical bum and we would respond that "we know, but he is a member of the group...it's a male thing..." But the second reason is perhaps more fitting. A characteristic of the feminine gender is to attempt to alleviate pain and unhappiness whereever we might find it in our lives. In that light, we attempt to reach out to those who are now where "we were when." And we know their pain, their indecision, and their doubts. And the primary focus-if not the single most important focus-of CES is to provide support to heterosexual crossdressers of either sex. We provide a safe harbor, so to speak, while their periods of indecision and doubt come to closure. If, as they learn more about themselves and confidently face their respective future they also find that they need additional outlets, so be it. We can offer many, many contact across the transgender spectrum and will gladly share those contacts with them. But we ask them to please donıt make waves in that harbor because there are more coming across the bar who are need of a quiet shoulder to lean on and a willing ear that will listen.

But there's more to this than meets the eye. We, ethically, morally, and psychologically, must be tolerant of different styles of attire and even different ways of expressing one's self. In a group where everyone thinks the same, only one person is doing the thinking. There must be diversity of expression, of thought, of attire in our group. If we expect others to show consideration for our feelings, then we must also demonstrate consideration for others. Translated, that means that we must attribute to those who seek us out the assumption initially that they, too, are seeking support and understanding. And, if over a period of time, they find through participation, we do not meet their needs, they will find that there are other groups who can meet their needs--perceived and real--more closely than we can. When that is the case, so be it. We should encourage them to seek their own approach and wish them success and Godspeed. Enough men "lead lives of quiet desperation" without CES adding to that desperation.

Some may join us and attempt to convince us of a different approach. As any organization we should listen, discuss the suggestions openly, and act as the majority desires. My basic belief is that over time the majority will--in Aristotle's words--always seek moderation in all things.

While analogies never proved anything, they are sometimes helpful in assisting others to understand or see a different perspective. To that end, I would like to offer model railroading (do have to thank Grace and Mary Alice for this oneŠ) as being analogous to crossdressing. As many of us know, "toy trains" come in different scales or gauges. Thereıs the really big garden railroad (G-gauge), then the traditional Lionel/American Flyer (O or O27 scale), then the smaller, more prototypical HO and the even smaller N-gauge and the "can barely see it" S and Z gauges. Different gauges for different folks but all model railroads share the same basicsŠelectrical power, run on tracks, have motive power, and rolling stock. Garden railroaders can share some of their concerns and stories with the HO-scale modeler but the garden railroader enjoys her scale because of certain factors associated with that scale that are not-and cannot-be part of the HO scale. Is one scale "better" than another? Only in the eyes of the beholder, my dear. An HO-modeler can claim her scale provides more prototypical opportunities but the O/O27 scale can say hers is more traditional, and the G scale advocate can say that hers can be run outdoors in all kinds of weather. It all depends on what it is that the modeler wants out of the effort she is putting into it! And so it is with our transgender worldŠnone of us is any better than anyone elseŠand each of us is looking for what will satisfy her in that association. A HO-scale enthusiast can appreciate the efforts of a garden railroader but that fact of appreciation doesnıt mean that she will go join a garden railroad group and eventually convert to a garden railroadŠunless she sincerely wants to convert. Maybe her environmental conditions do not permit such but perhaps, too, she doesnıt enjoy working at that scale.

Crossdressers are often viewed with the same suspicion and prejudice that have confronted the transvestite, the transsexual and others. Ironically, though, now crossdressers are viewed that way by both the "straight" community and by many transgenderists. As long as there are different perspectives out there, there will be a desire on the part of some to "have every one fit the same moldŠwhich is the one Iıve chosen." And when we don't, we essentially "bug" them. Let us not compound the problem by reflecting that suspicion and prejudice back on our sisters in other communities.

To end, George Sand's words are worthy of some thought and reflection: "There are no more thorough prudes than those who have some secret to hide."

Lucy's Window

By Lucy Stone

A major concern of every cross-dresser and her spouse or significant other is the potential damage that would be done if our "secret" was learned inadvertently by a neighbor, relative or a coworker. This concern often deters us from going out in public, and even when we determine the potential for being unexpectedly "outed" is sufficiently low, it is a concern that never totally goes away. But what can we expect if something unforeseen happens, or we meet someone that we know when we are out cross-dressed? While this is always a lingering concern, I donıt believe that it has to stop anyone from going out. However, it is a major reason, along with personal safety, for prior planning to minimize the opportunity for your worst fear to be fulfilled, and at the same time be prepared to deal with a difficult situation should it occur.

Each time before going out, I believe each of us should think through what we plan to do from the time we step out the door until the time we return. I always try to consider the following:

Times and places where I am not likely to meet anyone that I know. Think of situations where youıve never met anyone you know when youıve been there dressed drab in the past.

The following questions:

Am I going where women my age would normally feel safe at the time of day that I plan to go?

Is what I plan to wear likely to be similar to what other women my age will be wearing there?

Objectively, how well do I blend in?

Anticipated routes that I am going to take, as well as alternate routes that I could take in case of an emergency. This is particularly important at night. Remember when you are dressed, as a woman you are just as vulnerable and you must take the same precautions.

Precautions for leaving and returning to my house undetected by neighbors.

My wife usually accompanies me. Not only is she my best friend whose company I enjoy very much, but she helps me avoid situations that might be unpleasant. While having Joan with me has many advantages, there is also a potential problem that must be considered. Though my appearance may be sufficiently altered that I am not likely to be detected by myself my wifeıs appearance is not disguised and having her with me increases my potential for discovery.

So what is the likelihood that you are going to have problems? While the probability varies for each one of us depending on how well we plan and then carry out that plan, my experience has been that potential problems occur infrequently. I started going out cross-dressed when I was about forty, and I am now sixty-three. I have been out dressed in public literally hundreds of times, and the number of incidents that have occurred is less than a dozen. Of those, there have only been three where I was in serious jeopardy of being discovered by friends or neighbors. In each case, Joan was with me, and to the best of our knowledge our "secret" was not discovered. This is not to say that I will never be "outed", but it does indicate that the probability of suffering serious consequences can be kept low. The important thing to remember is to always plan ahead for as many contingencies as possible.

Salon Nails

By Rachel Rene Boyd

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have long beautiful nails applied at a salon? I have for years admired womenıs professionally manicured nails. They look so nice, and are apparently quite durable. I have wanted to try them, but cost and the difficulty of removal kept me from trying them. They just arenıt practical for the occasional crossdresser. But I recently had the opportunity to spend three days en femme at a weekend Tri-Ess activity. Here was my chance to finally try salon nails.

First, I needed an appointment at a salon. No problem. I waltzed right into a salon, told the receptionist I wanted to make an appointment for having nail tips applied. I explained that I was a crossdresser and that I would show up for the appointment en femme. I got a puzzled look, as the receptionist wasnıt quite sure she heard me correctly. I reassured her that she had indeed heard me correctly, and yes, I did want to have my nails done like a female. So I got my appointment for the date I wanted. I actually did this twice, at two different salons, then canceled the one that seemed less welcoming.

On the day of my adventure, I arrived at the first salon and found that they had my appointment time wrong. (I guess the receptionist was more unnerved by my request than I thought.) Well, I was crushed. Here I was all dressed up (literally) and no nail place to go. So, I walked down to the other salon....the one that had seemed less welcoming. I waltzed in again and asked if they could work me in without an appointment. After having to explain twice what I wanted, they said, "Yes, sit right down". Two manicurists began working on me, one on each hand, working furiously to get me done before their next scheduled appointment. So much for my judgment about this salon being less welcoming.

The first step was gluing on the long nail tips. They looked as they were three inches long, but I suppose they were only about an inch. The manicurist explained that she would later cut them to the length that I wanted. She asked what length I wanted and whether I wanted square, round, or oval ends. I really had no idea which one I wanted, but I confidently answered "Oval", and it turned out thatıs what I really liked. So she trimmed them to length and buffed them to smooth the edges. Then she applied a layer of lacquer. On top of that she applied a layer of silk, and trimmed it to fit. Then another layer of lacquer. Finally she added the nail polish that I had brought with me. I was amazed at the number of layers and the total thickness of the finished nails. I told the two manicurists that I this was my first set of nail tips, and that I was fascinated at the process.

Iım not sure what the manicurists thought about doing the nails of a crossdresser. They were both Korean and talked to each other in Korean a lot. Sure wish I could have had a translation. I was grateful to them for working me in, so I added a handsome tip to the $35.00 fee. They seemed to be very genuine when they said as I was leaving, "See you next time!"

I enjoyed wearing my beautiful long nails for three days. They were remarkably durable. I have worn press-on or glue-on nails a lot, and they always feel like they are about to fall off. But these salon nails were very solid. I felt as I could open tin cans with them. Some things were a little awkward the first day, like getting my contacts out that night. But I found that I adapted fairly quickly to such tasks as pressing buttons and buttoning clothes. I hadnıt gone for really long nails, only about 1/4 or 3/16 inch beyond the fingertip, the so-called "active length". Maybe next time I will go for "glamour length".

When it came time to remove the nails, I didnıt really want to give them up. It occurred to me that maybe I could trim them and keep them a few days longer. Ever the chemist, I reasoned that since acetone nail polish remover is needed to dissolve the artificial nails, I could probably use non-acetone remover to remove the polish without damaging the nail tips. It worked. So I just trimmed the remaining nails to my usual male length and wore them that way for another two weeks. By then they were beginning to grow out and the bases were starting to show the difference between the natural nail and the artificial nail.

I had always heard how difficult it is to remove salon nails, so I made sure I had plenty of acetone based remover and plenty of time. I purchased a nail remover vial that contained the acetone and a bristle in the center. You just insert one nail at a time, let it soak, and twist it around in the bristle. The instructions say it takes one or two minutes to remove each nail. I found it took more like three or four minutes, some a little longer. But the result was entirely satisfactory. The natural nails looked a little like they had been brushed with steel wool at the end of the process. I found a little hand lotion returned their natural luster.

The artificial nails were a lot of fun to wear. I canıt wait until the next time I can wear salon nails. As the manicurist welcomed, "See you next time".

Nicole's Brother Finds Out

By Nicole Thomas

On August 14th I came out to my brother. You may be wondering why. It might be a case of my mouth working faster than my brain, or perhaps I forced myself into a position where I had to. Before I tell you his reaction, I need to fill you in on some background:

I recently spent most of a week visiting with my brother in Florida. We did a lot of talking about my pending separation and divorce. He mentioned that my Mother doesn't want to hear anything about my wife's side of things. I reminded him that I was not without blame, and that I have been withholding some important facts. He joked that it would be okay to tell them that I was gay. At this point I came VERY close to telling him about my crossdressing, but decided not to.

We probably spent more time talking about his situation. Last October he moved from San Diego to cohabitate with a woman he met through his Humphrey Bogart site on the Web. Although they have much in common, their communications are very poor and he spends much of his time second and third guessing what he said and analyzing what she said. He was very unhappy, but unsure of what to do. After much discussion, he basically decided that he was going to call it quits and move up here to be near my parents and me.

Upon returning from Florida, I told my wife about my brother's situation. She asked me if I had considered asking him to live with me, so that I could keep the house. Although I hadn't thought of that, I decided that it could work and mentioned it to him during a phone call. After realizing what I had just set in motion I realized that I HAD to tell him about my cross dressing before we could continue considering this move. Did I deliberately trap myself? Probably!

Well, I couldn't find the strength to tell him on the phone, so I did it by e-mail. First I told him that when he joked about my being gay he was wrong, but not so far off. I then laid it all out for him, baring my soul and leaving myself completely vulnerable. Well, his initial response was, "Oh, is that all!" We then spoke on the phone at length, and although he doesn't understand my desire to cross dress, he doesn't have a problem with it. He told me that he thinks I was very brave to have told him. I didn't lose my brother, and we're probably closer now than ever.

On the flip side, he couldn't bring himself to tell his SO that it was over, but was able to tell her everything that was bothering him. Although she didn't really offer any solutions she made it clear that she still loves him and made him feel needed again. So, they are going to make another go of it. I'm glad for them, but it does leave me hanging, and with mixed emotions. Oh well, that's life!

Visit Nicole's Niche at: http://members.tgforum.com/nicolethomas/homepage.html

Paula's Clipping Service

Recent News Articles about Crossdressing

By Paula

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Western movie hero Jeff Chandler concealed a dark secret behind his manly 6 foot 4 inch tall frame.

He was a cross-dresser with a penchant for flowered chiffon and polka dots, according to his former lover, musical swimming star Esther Williams in an excerpt from her autobiography published Wednesday by Vanity Fair magazine.

Chandler, whose tanned features brought him fame as Indian chief Cochise in "Broken Arrow" and two sequels in the early 1950s, dated Williams for two years after they met on a film set in 1957. He died in 1961 at the age of 42.

But the love affair came to an abrupt halt when he revealed his passion for silk stockings and high heels, Williams recounts in her biography "The Million Dollar Mermaid." Excerpts from the book, to be published in September by Simon and Schuster.

"I froze at the bedroom door and started screaming. I couldn't stop myself ... Jeff was standing in the middle of the bedroom in a red wig, a flowered chiffon dress, expensive high-heeled shoes and lots of make-up. I just kept screaming," Williams said in the excerpt.

"Suddenly I couldn't make sense of a large piece of my life. Here was my lover -- a strong, manly figure by anyone's estimate -- who had just been standing before me in high heels and a dress. This was no joke. He enjoyed that kind of thing. He was a cross-dresser," wrote Williams, now 75.

Williams said she later discovered a closet full of expensive dresses, swimsuits and beautiful lingerie in Chandler's painting studio.

Chandler explained that his father left home when he was young and he was brought up by his mother and aunt in a house where maleness was held in contempt and where he was made to hate his own sex.

She says Chandler was undergoing therapy from a therapist who was also a cross-dresser and had hoped that his relationship with Williams was strong enough to accommodate his secret, but she said she left him the next day.

UK's NEWS OF THE WORLD, July 25, 1999

ROYAL EXCLUSIVE, How Eddie's stag night turned into a real drag

BY CLIVE GOODMAN & DOUG WIGHT

Prince Edward and his bride Sophie turned their joint stag and hen night into a hilarious extravaganza in drag.

The new Duke of Wessex, who always said he wanted a 'no frills' wedding, made up for it by wearing all his best frills at a blend's secluded stately home.

He and his male pals zipped themselves into dresses while Sophie and her chums buttoned up in men's outfits.

"Edward thought it would be a bit of fun and might help people let their hair down," said a friend. The prince, of course, is thinning on top and would have some difficulty letting his own hair down...so he wore a wig for the evening.

Edward, nicknamed 'Babs' after Barbara Windsor when he worked for Andrew Lloyd Webber, finished off his outfit with striking make up.

He and Sophie had invited 24 of their closest friends to spend three days at Lord Ivar Mountbatten's Devon estate, Birdwell Park. Delighted guests were told about the cross-dressing theme only just in time to arrange a new wardrobe for the big night.

"They all sat down to dinner in their outfits then they moved outside to the grounds for the rest of the evening," added the pal. "It was more Lily Savage [probably the UK's most popular gay drag-icon..] than Rocky Horror Show."

Gales of laughter echoed across the lawns when it emerged that a prankster had also arranged for a few naughty blow-up dolls to smuggled into the bash.

In some parts of the garden, party games started to get a little raunchier as a number of guests - including Princess Anne's son Peter Phillips and Edward's old flame Anastasia Cook entered into the spirit of things with gusto.

"It certainly made Edward's It's a Royal Knockout show look a bit tame," said the pal.

Two guests, clearly keen to discuss more intimate details of their costumes, slipped into a Portaloo [a portable restroom...]. "Nobody noticed they'd gone until the door flew open, catching them red-handed," the pal continued. "Everyone thought it was extremely funny but they were so carried away they barely noticed."

TV executive Edward first got a taste for costume drama at school where he was a regular in Shakespeare plays.

At Cambridge University he trod the boards as part of the Footlights comedy team.

"Edward has a real sense of drama," said his friend. "He's been in and out of tights more often than a Pretty Polly [a leading brand of UK hosiery] model."

STRICT ATTIRE WASN'T ENOUGH FOR ISLAMIC LAW, August 27, 1999

TEHRAN, IRAN (Reuters) - Iran's morals police arrested a young man who tried to evade them by wearing makeup and women's clothing to be with his girlfriend, a newspaper reported yesterday.

The Daily Kayhan said Behnman, 18, was picked up at a park in the holy Shiite Muslim city of Mashad, in a flowing overcoat and scarf-mandatory wear for women under Iran's strict Islamic laws.

Behnman told police he resorted to crossdressing to date his girlfriend under the noses of the vice squads that patrol streets and parks.

COSMOPOLITAN Magazine

The latest issue shows a picture of three acting Arquette sisters: Rosanna Arquette, Patricia Arquette, and brother Alexis Arquette who is now known as drag queen Eva Destruction.

The Keirsey Temperament Sorter II

From Becky Adams

Dear Chapter Member,

Thanks for indicating an interest in participating in this educational activityŠGrace and I hope that you will find it interesting, enjoyable, and useful in your personal life.

As I discussed at both the July Chapter Meeting and in subsequent e-mail traffic, the Keirsey Temperament Sorter is based on the works of Myers and Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). "Great!" some of you are saying ³Becky, as usual youıve said nothing!² Others of you who have had contact with MBTI over the years are raising your eyebrows in justifiable cynicism and asking "And just how are you going to explain this [MBTI] in a few short paragraphsŠbetter women and men than you have tried and not succeeded..."

Well, brevity is the soul of wit, they say...so we'll just giggle and laugh our way though this and will end up being very brief...comparably speaking it will be more than a thong but maybe not quite a brief.

MBTI and its many imitators, to include Kiersey, are based on Jung's study of the personality. MBTI essentially states that most of us WASPs (toss in an occasional C, J, or A in place of the P and weıll have everyone hereŠ) fit into one of some 16 broad personality types. Got to understand that MBTI is not saying that we are predestined for that type nor or we are 'that' type for now and forever. But what it, the theory supporting MBTI and others of that ilk, is saying that there are certain characteristics associated with these 16 types. And that if we understand 1) that one size does not fit all, 2) these characteristics can and do change, 3) these characteristics have different 'hot buttons' and different 'rather predictable' responses. and 4) by understanding ourselves and others and how to use those characteristics, we can all communicate better and have better understanding of each other and ourselves.

For example, how many of us recognize (in others or ourselves) a distinct reluctance to come to closure on anything, always wanting to keep the options open? Or know someone who says a lot but never follows up? Or a person to whom you listen very closely when she talks because she has already thought things over and this is her decision?

If you are still interested, take ten-fifteen minutes and fill out the following 70 questionsŠthere are no wrong answers even though there are only two choices per question. Then bring the completed answers to the September meeting and we'll give you what the answers youıve selected indicate and then launch into a longer and more detailed discussion.

Please understand this is only for educational purposes and self-actualization...there is no requirement to believe in the theory, accept the practice, or even accept the "indicators" let alone participate.

My source for the survey and the reference material is Please Understand Me II: Temperament, Character, Intelligence, David Keirsey, 1998. The paperback is available through any bookstore or over the web from any number of book sources, usually around $16.00 a copy. Well worth it.

A second source is Kroeger and Thuesenıs Type Talk, a hardback dating back to 1988.

Below are 70 questions. Read each question carefully but quickly; there are no trick questions. Then read the two answers provided and select the one the fits you best the majority of the time. Circle the letter of your choiceŠeither a) or b). Good rule of thumb is to go with your first choiceŠlead from the heart because if you find yourself pondering the "meaning of it all" you will, put quite simply, screw it up. Been there, done thatŠ

Youıll notice occasional use of brackets [**]. That indicates efforts on my part to "explain" what I think Kierseyıs intended use of a particular word might be, based on the accompanying text within the book itself. I mean, talk about Pentagonese! Ideational?!?.

Bring the completed form to the September meeting and "learn the mysteries of the universe." This is a copyrighted book and reproduction is prohibitedŠ(so it says in the introduction). So we"ve decided to use the time-honored binary munitions approach. We keep the questions separate from the answers until we get together in the room. Then we check everyone to see who has the summons by the publishing company before we give you the second half and make the munitions complete! Once that has happened, youıre dangerous!

When the phone rings do you
(a) hurry to get to it first
b) hope someone else will answer

Are you more
(a) observant [of actions] than introspective [of possible reasons or rationale]
(b) introspective [of possible reasons or rationale] than observant [of actions]

Is it worse to
(a) have your head in the clouds
(b) be in a rut

With people are you usually more
(a) firm than gentle
(b) gentle than firm

Are you more comfortable in making
(a) critical [based on logic] judgments
(b) value [based on principle] judgments

Is clutter in the workplace something you
(a) take time to straighten up
(b) tolerate pretty well

Is it your way to
(a) make up your mind quickly
(b) pick and choose at some length

Waiting in line, do you often
(a) chat with others
(b) stick to [your own] business

Are you more
(a) sensible [reality grounded] than ideational [visionary]
(b) more ideational [visionary] than sensible [reality grounded]

Are you more interested in
(a) what is actual
(b) what is possible

In making up your mind are you more likely to go by
(a) data
(b) desires

In sizing up others do you tend to be
(a) objective [distant] and impersonal
(b) friendly [subjective] and personal

Do you prefer contracts to be
(a) signed, sealed, and delivered
(b) settled on a handshake

Are you more satisfied having
(a) a finished product
(b) work in progress

At a party, do you
(a) interact with many, even strangers
(b) interact with a few friends

Do you tend to be more
(a) factual than speculative
(b) speculative than factual

Do you like writers who
(a) say what they mean
(b) use metaphors and symbolism

Which appeals to you more
(a) consistency of thought
(b) harmonious relationships

If you must disappoint someone are you usually
(a) frank [even if that isn't your name] and straight forward
(b) warm and considerate

On the job do you want your activities
(a) scheduled
(b) unscheduled

Do you more often prefer
(a) final, unalterable statements [and decisions]
(b) tentative, preliminary statements [and decisions]

Does interacting with strangers
(a) energize you [giving you new perspectives or ideas]
(b) tax your reserves [leaving you feeling tired and exhausted]

Facts
(a) speak for themselves
(b) illustrate principles

Do you find visionaries and theorists
(a) somewhat annoying
(b) rather fascinating

In a heated discussion, do you
(a) stick to your guns
(b) look for common ground

Is it better to be
(a) just [follow the law, rules, precedence]
(b) merciful [to "bend" if necessary considering the circumstance]

At work, is it more natural for you to
(a) point out mistakes [be a nit-picker]
(b) try to please others [overlook small mistakes]

Are you more comfortable
(a) after a decision
(b) before a decision

Do you tend to
(a) say right out whatıs on your mind [whether you are asked or not]
(b) keep your ears open [and your mouth shut]

Common sense is
(a) usually reliable
(b) frequently questionable

Children often do not
(a) make themselves useful enough
(b) exercise their fantasy [imagination] enough

When in charge of others do you tend to be
(a) firm and unbending
(b) forgiving and lenient

Are you more often
(a) a cool-headed [rational] person
(b) a warm-hearted [emotional]person

Are you prone to
(a) nailing things down
(b) exploring the possibilities

In most situations are you more
(a) deliberate than spontaneous
(b) spontaneous than deliberate

Do you think of yourself as
(a) an outgoing person
(b) a private person

Are you more frequently
(a) a practical [based on what is] sort of person
(b) a fanciful [based on what might be] sort of person

Do you speak more in
(a) particulars than generalities
(b) generalities than particulars

Which is more of a compliment:
"There's [You're] a logical person."
(b) "There's [You're] a sentimental person."

Which rules you more
(a) your thoughts
(b) your feelings

When finishing a job, do you like to
(a) tie up all the loose ends
(b) move on to something else

Do you prefer to work
(a) to deadlines
(b) [get it done] just whenever

Are you the kind of person who
(a) is rather talkative
(b) doesn't miss much

Are you inclined to take what is said
(a) more literally
(b) more figuratively

Do you more often see
(a) what's right in front of you
(b) what can only be imagined

Is it worse to be
(a ) a softy
(b) hard-nosed

In trying circumstances are you sometimes
(a) too unsympathetic
(b) too sympathetic

Do you tend to choose
(a) rather carefully
(b) somewhat impulsively

Are you inclined to be more
(a) hurried than leisurely
(b) leisurely than hurried

At work do you tend to
(a) be sociable with your colleagues
(b) keep more to your self

Are you more likely to trust
(a) your experiences
(b) your conceptions

Are you more inclined to feel
(a) down to earth
(b) somewhat removed [distant]

Do you think of yourself as a
(a) tough-minded person
(b) tender-hearted person

Do you value in yourself more that you are
(a) reasonable
(b) devoted [principled]

Do you usually want things
(a) settled and decided [closure]
(b) just penciled in [options still open]

Would you say you are more
(a) serious and determined
(b) easy going

Do you consider yourself
(a) a good conversationalist [ take the lead]
(b) a good listener [let others take the lead]

Do you prize in yourself
(a) a strong hold on reality
(b) a vivid imagination

Are you more drawn to
(a) fundamentals [reality]
(b) overtones [innuendoes]

Which seems to be the greater fault
(a) to be too compassionate [ to care too much]
(b) to be too dispassionate [to be indifferent]

Are you swayed more by
(a) convincing evidence
(b) a touching appeal

Do you feel better about
(a) coming to closure
(b) keeping your options open

Is it preferable mostly to
(a) make sure things are arranged
(b) just to let things happen naturally

Are you inclined to be
(a) easy to approach
(b) somewhat reserved

In stories do you prefer
(a) action and adventure [e.g., history]
(b) fantasy and heroism [e.g., romances]

Is it easier for you to
(a) put others to good use
(b) identify with others

Which do you wish more for yourself
(a) strength of will
(b) strength of emotion

Do you see yourself as basically
(a) thick-skinned
(b) thin-skinned

Do you tend to notice
(a) disorderliness
(b) opportunities for change

Are you more
(a) routinized than whimsical [preferring a schedule or routine]
(b) whimsical than routinized [not liking a routine]