Aaahh! What Have You Done??

Understanding the Parody Renditions of the Characters

As of TAL 3

Wolfriders ... Formerly Dead ... Sun Folk ... Gliders . . . Humans ... Others

OK, first of all, I should probably say that what I like - and what I don't like - about _Elfquest_ are the characters. There are some times when I find myself actually saying out loud, "I wish Tyleet would just shut up." That's a testimony to the personal nature of the comic. But why, you may ask, did I change so many of the characters? The answer is pretty simple: this is a joke. It's like "Super Deformed" art, it bears a resemblance to the original, but it's not meant to be the same.

Well, below is all the information on the characters used and mentioned thus far in "The ElfQuiz Parody." The information thus far includes events in TAL 3, so there will be some spoilers... if you can call them that. (g)

Wolfriders

1

CUTTER: The Blood of Ten Chiefs, often abbreviated B10C. His soul name is Tam, he is the male cub of Bearclaw and Joyleaf, he is Treestump's nephew and Dewshine's cousin, and now he's Leetah's lifemate, and the sire of Ember, Suntop, and Quickblade. However, Cutter in 'Quiz tends to be kinda stoopid. The real estate deal and the mountain-hugging are just the beginning of this strange, whiny character. The easiest comparison is Forrest Gump - after all, in spite of his weirdness, Cutter does end up a hero. I made him this way, because though we are supposed to accept him as the Epic Hero, there are some times when I just worry about the whole idea.

2

SKYWISE: The one and only stargazer, male cub of Shale and Eyes High, and soul brother of Cutter. But if you read the Foreword, you'll know that my opinion of Skywise went down after Hidden Years issue number 5. And so, the parody version of Skywise is even less intelligent than Cutter. He gets along fairly well in life, but like any Wheel of Time series character, he doesn't have any clue about females. For example, in TAL 2, he seduces an elf who speaks only Human - but their relationship falls apart almost instantly. My self-MSTed fanfic series "The Daughters of Strongbow" - which actually was a precursor to 'Quiz - contains an even more scathing portrayal of Skywise.

3

REDLANCE: Normally he would be an average tree-shaper, with a silly-sounding soul name (Ulm), and a decent lovemate relationship with Nightfall. Not any more. The 'Quiz interpretation of Redlance shows him as a conservative who occasionally suffers from paranoia. He is dedicated to Nightfall, but she doesn't exactly return the favor... Redlance is not terribly comfortable with the "formerly dead" (he coined the phrase, by the way), and wishes they would explain things for him.

4

NIGHTFALL: In the real Elfquest, she is a huntress with an attitude, a soft heart, and arguably a few odd fetishes. I've completely turned all that on its head, and what's left of Nightfall is... somewhat disturbing. Here, she is strangely short on morals, and she holds several odd occupations. No, I don't think many people will like this. But keep in mind that 'Quiz is meant as a satire, a joke, and that the real version of Nightfall would never do any of this.

5

STRONGBOW: He is still a quiet, sober, conservative archer, with Trueflight as his mother, Wyl as a soul name, Moonshade as his lifemate, and Dart as his male cub. The 'Quiz treatment exaggerates this, and makes him quite literally sober. His violence in TAL 1: Chapter 2 is unusual, but in TAL 4, he will have a good reason to be violent. See if you can figure out how he feels about Moonshade - especially in TAL 3 - because the other characters sure can't.

6

MOONSHADE: It remains that she is the tribe's tanner and Way-keeper. But I dislike Moonshade quite a bit, and it shows. In TAL 3: Chapter 3, she reveals her true colors and her real tribe position. Basically, her character is humorously exaggerated. She often makes ludicrous statements and ends up in strange places.

7

TREESTUMP: Like in the real thing, he's Dewshine's father, Cutter's uncle, and a dedicated warrior. He may be drunk at times, but his behavior from here on will make more sense. Treestump lives on nostalgia, and can tell all sorts of random stories. Too bad most of them are boring or pointless.

8

DEWSHINE: Yes, I remember the days when Dewshine was a revolutionary character in comics - NOT a supermodel, NOT a ditz. Yes, in TAL 3, she practically gives away something that she would rather keep a secret... but no other character in 'Quiz could pull off such a stunt.

9

PIKE: Not much has changed from the real Elfquest: Pike still gets good and drunk a lot, tells wacky stories, and occasionally tries to sing. In his view, what else is there?

10

ONE-EYE: To this day, when you bring up this character while among Elfquest fans, there is an outburst of sheer emotion. (If you don't know why, go read lfquest Book 3 and Elfquest Book 4 yourself.) After I came up with the initial 'Quiz ideas, I wrestled with what I would do with One-Eye. My final decision will probably tick off most of you highly emotional fans - many times over - but I figured it was the most effective way, considering that this *is* a parody. And so One-Eye ends up being like Oscar the Grouch and an alternative rock star combined. He blows off his family, and tends to sit around and do nothing. Now, if you should ask, is there any hope for this despondent character? Yes, but it lies a long way down the road. Well, until then, I hope you find his bleak sense of humor witty and his observations cutting. Again, very sorry if you're annoyed... especially with the conclusion of TAL 3. (And yes, he is still Clearbrook's lifemate, Scouter's father, and has the soul name Sur. More to be revealed later.)

11

CLEARBROOK: Ah, my favorite character. She's One-Eye's lifemate, the mother of Scouter and Hoodbearer, and amazingly quiet. So I decided to put her through the torture mill of 'Quiz. For the first four TALs, she is constantly drunk or high, and generally apathetic. It's not intended to be a pretty sight, though it can be humorous at times. But just you wait until some things start changing for Clearbrook. I'm not exactly replicating what she went through in the real books, but putting it in my own, personal, slightly twisted way. Oh, and she is a performing musician.

12

SCOUTER: Yes, yes, I liked Scouter too. So don't get on my case when he acts like a human computer, whines, or completely blows off Dewshine. He, too, will actually have to mature. Scary thought, huh? (Scouter remains the male cub of Clearbrook and One-Eye, and the lovemate of Dewshine. His soul name is Jial, which is pronounced like the brand of soap.)

13

WOODLOCK: He is Rainsong's lifemate, and the father of Newstar and Wing. (I'm not gonna repeat that again, OK?) His best scene in actual Elfquest was early on in Book Two, except that he *had* to miss the human. Well, I'm planning to expand on his character. Just witness the early chapters of TAL 2... and expect some more changes later.

14

RAINSONG: Along with most of her family, she gets only a small role in Elfquest. Along with my other crusades, I'm going to change that. She will have a fairly important role in time.

15

DART, NEWSTAR, AND WING: The cubs are all a bit too young to have much impact on the story, but believe me, that'll change. Just so you're warned, I'm not a Dart fan at all, so I tend to downplay his role to say the least. As for Newstar... well, I kinda saw right through her "nice" facade, and have reinterpreted her as a rather mean-spirited, vengeful elf. It's the least I could do - consider it a favor. (g) Well, since Wing gets even less of a role in most EQ stories, I'm going to give him some camera time - once the dust settles from the major tales.

16

EMBER, SUNTOP, AND QUICKBLADE: Yup, they're the triplets of Cutter and Leetah. All have dark skin tones, but Suntop doesn't act like most Wolfriders (even here). Yes, Ember can be a tomboy, but both she and Suntop are rather quiet and obedient. Not so for Quickblade. Based on the character concept in the original Elfquest Gatherum, Quickblade is the tribe's brat and troublemaker. He'll be one of the best sources of humor.

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Formerly Dead

1

RAIN: In the real Elfquest, he was the first to die. And in my opinion, he deserved it. He acts like an out-of-control pervert, eats human food, makes ghastly puns, and is rumored to be a double agent. The question remains... how much of this is *really* true?

2

FOXFUR: Oh, dear. If you read the Foreword, you know how I feel about *her*. Yes, friends, in this parody, Foxfur does not gett along with Skywise. She also is known as a secret-keeper, and she could blow the entire plot of 'Quiz in a few paragraphs. In TAL 2: Chapter 2, she is called Stormie's "alleged" mother. More on this later. However, her characterization will be different than the more annoying Foxfur seen in "Daughters of Strongbow."

3

LONGBRANCH: Rather different than the strangely quiet character of Elfquest, the only similarity is that he is One-Eye's brother, and that he was once called Longreach. But here, that was when he went insane. Longbranch is the stereotypical mad scientist, because he invented Madcoil. Since that incident, he went into hiding, but you can expect to see more than a few traces of his work. However, he has a hidden, nice side.

4

BROWNBERRY: Not the most angst-filled of the 'Quiz characters, but she does express it well. Brownberry may "only" be a bread-maker (and yes, there really is a brand of bread called Brownberry!), but she figures into Foxfur's conspiracies.

5

BEARCLAW: He is still the Blood of Nine Chiefs (B9C), but the parody version of Bearclaw is rather subservient. He knows that Joyleaf is much more powerful than he - yes, it's true - and he would hand over his position to anyone else in a second. Bearclaw is still a good friend of Strongbow, but he didn't have too many other fans. One-Eye plans to get revenge on him for an incident that happened many turns prior to the story.

6

JOYLEAF: She's not a charming little Amazon here. The 'Quiz rendition of Joyleaf clearly shows she can laugh louder than Bearclaw, and scare even the mature Cutter into a dark corner. Worse yet, she's a friend of Moonshade.

7

RILLFISHER: Though she looks like Joyleaf, she's not. Rillfisher was healed by Rain after a "little accident" (though no one talks about it), and now she has selective hearing. She has been known to tune out at the worst times, and rumor has it she left the Wolfriders to annoy some other group. Naturally, Treestump and Dewshine miss her, but at the same time...

8

HOODBEARER: This enigmatic elf had only a background role in Elfquest, and her personality, name, and characteristics are entirely of my own invention. Her first (physical) appearance is in TAL 2: Chapter 3. In TAL 3, she learns of her parentage, though this causes her to be somewhat dismayed. And yes, she doesn't terribly like Oarken.

9

STORMBRINGER (STORMIE): This highly artistic elf is described as Foxfur's "alleged" daughter and "the just-maybe cub of Dobil." It was mentioned in TAL 1: Chapter 3 that she was born during a time when the Dark Days were in full swing, so that's why her origin is so mysterious. You'll find out more later. But despite all that, Stormie has a vicious streak, and any character that underestimates her is in for trouble.

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Sun Folk

1

LEETAH: The "princess" of the Sun Folk, she is the daughter of Sun-Toucher and Toorah. As clearly seen in TAL 1: Chapter 2, she had a relationship with Rayek, but it is long since shattered. She ain't no dummy, and she outwits many an elf. For the record, in this parody, her Recognition with Cutter is not some sudden, dramatic moment, but more of a process. Let's just say that even in a satire such as this, Leetah has to learn to put up with Cutter. :) But by the time the triplets were born, their relationship was pretty much established.

2

RAYEK: He may be the best hunter of the Sun Folk (and the male cub of Jarrah and Ingen), but he's rather vain. His ego could triumph over even the worst of the female characters - which is quite hard to do. But his sudden Recognition with Shenshen scares him silly, and goes to show that this hunter has a multi-sided personality after all. Just you wait until TAL 4, to see how their relationship developed...

3

SUN-TOUCHER: Unlike Elfquest's official Sun-Toucher, this version is not at all serious, and incompetent at best. He represents the stereotypical Sun Folk, but without the gardening skill. Secretly, though, Sun-Toucher has a sick sense of humor.

4

SAVAH: The Mother of Memory rules Sorrow's End with an iron shovel. She can recite all the laws and social mores. Her sense of humor runs black at times, so not too many Sun Folk question her.

5

SHENSHEN: Leetah's sister, in 'Quiz, is seriously out of control. She chased after Rayek even before their Recognition, so with the biological need, she wants him even more. I had Shenshen say nothing in TAL 1 to show her low level of maturity. Later on, once she actually settles in with the hunter, she will learn to grow up fast.

6

ZHANTEE: In Elfquest, Zhantee shows up fairly late, but has had a surprisingly large role since. Well, he will someday be a significant character in 'Quiz, and that is why I chose to introduce him early. Look for the first actual appearance of Zhantee in TAL 2: Chapter One.

7

ADJA: Best-known as the Sun Folk who complained about Leetah's departure in Elfquest Book Two, this character did not even have a name until the prose novelization, The Quest Begins. Let's just say that in this parody, he doesn't change too much.

8

MINYAH: She doesn't make more than a couple cameos outside Elfquest Book 1, but here, she actually will do something! Not just a gardener, Minyah is already one of the leading musicians in Sorrow's End. She will learn to get along with Clearbrook.

9

AHDRI: There's not much to say about Ahdri. Like in the actual Elfquest, she's mostly a background character. But expect this employee of Savah to provide a few unique comments.

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Gliders

1

WINDKID: The rebel of the Glider world. Antithetical to all the other members of his tribe, Windkid is an angry young elf. Needless to say, he gets in a LOT of trouble. He is not related to Dewshine. However, he is one of the Chosen Eight.

2

TYLDAK: Commander of the Chosen Eight, but not one of them. Even in this parody, Tyldak and Winnowill are hench-person and leader. He's not *bad* per se, but he gets to do a lot of interesting tasks. Though he's certainly no friend of Windkid, he ends up helping the little twerp more often than not. For example, he saved Windkid from the collapse of Glue Fountain in TAL 3: Chapter 5. The question that remains is "why?"

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Humans

1

TABAK: The first human to die in Elfquest. I decided to see what would happen if he didn't. The result? A slightly off-balance character who goes through vicious mood swings. He frequently causes trouble, and always ends up getting the short end of the stick.

2

JIRIAN: Tabak's wife (that word is sometimes changed to "wifemate" for humor). She has a tendency to panic or act insane, which is why most of her human friends avoid her.

3

OARKEN: He may be a well-respected member of the Gotarian tribe, but he's not always "there." Known for his experiments, he avoids trouble better than Tabak because of his genius-level IQ. He is the father of Taf, Ehok, and Jorg. Through various tribal connections, Oarken has known Hoodbearer for quite some time.

4

LEFETHA: The wife of Oarken ain't too stoopid either. She knows a lot of trivia, statistics, and statistical trivia. This fun character doesn't have too much screen time, but she hams it up.

4

JORG: The only child of Oarken and Lefetha who's still with the tribe. His name is pronounced just like "George." Not terribly bright, but more sane than his brothers (who will appear later).

5

EWARD: I've named the Spirit-Man from Elfquest Book One, and just look what's happened to him. Though he does have a screaming, angry side, Eward is far more pleasant to be around than several elves.

6

NONNA: Not quite as serious a character as she was portrayed in Elfquest, I don't use Nonna as an iconic character. The 'Quiz version is rather bubbleheaded, and doesn't have much of a relationship with Hoodbearer, even though she is the elf's adoptive mother.

7

ADAR: Though he may act as the voice of reason, Adar - Nonna's husband, or "husmate" - is running from a strange, complicated past. He avoids trying to figure out what the "bird spirits" are trying to do.

8

THE BONE WOMAN: What can you say? She's presented as unspeakably ugly, obese, rude, and annoying. Naturally, she'll show up again later on in 'Quiz.

9

OLBAR THE MOUNTAIN-TALL (MOUNTAINOUS): Like the original character in Elfquest, Chief Olbar is a good guy. The 'Quiz parody version is more concerned with "justice" than anything else, which is why his tribe (the Ahon G'yat Hso) has a courthut. And he is Selah's father, though she'll turn up later.

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Others

1

ZARHAN FASTFIRE: Mentioned in Treestump's false Madcoil tale, this early elf has little relevance in 'Quiz, though he is an actual character in Elfquest.

2

MADCOIL: Thought I should give it an entry. Yes, Madcoil in 'Quiz is an it, as well as a creation of Longbranch. The fact that it was not a "real monster" was known to the "formerly dead," but no others. The elves do not know if the Madcoils that appear in TAL 2 and TAL 3 were the same as the original.

3

"THE DARK DAYS": Since I toss this term around without explaining it fully, here goes a brief explanation... In the 'Quiz world, the Dark Days began with Timmorn's birth. Since then, things have gotten... well, weird. The humans don't really care about the elves, and the elves pretty much pity the humans. Some elves have gone insane. But more recently, there have been no deaths. The "formerly dead" abandoned the tribe in order to keep up the facade of "everything is normal." Few elves understand what the Dark Days really are, but they subconsciously know that this will end. In short, it's a mystery, almost a philosophical concept. You could compare the Dark Days to the "laws" of any cartoon or comedy world. No one will ever fully explain it all.
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