Day One

Shirt had an ‘earlybird’ ticket, meaning that he could enter as soon as the doors opened at 9am. Catching a train and tube to West Brompton station, he made his way to Earls Court 2, to find a confusion of queues. He initially stood in a surprisingly short queue, having been reassured by the attendee at the back of it that this was the earlybird queue. However, ten minutes later, a steward appeared and gestured to a queue a short distance away, snaking in the other direction, round the building. Shirt therefore strode off, walked round the building, and down the side of the queue that comprised the whole length of the wall. Reaching the end (of the wall, but not the queue), Shirt had to wait whilst a coach pulled up and decamped a number of celebrities including Danny Glover and Peter ‘Chewbacca’ Mayhew. Ten minutes later, and the security guard was allowing Shirt and a large number of others, to continue following the queue, along the back of the building, and around the back of Earls Court Exhibition Centre itself, until finally, seemingly only a few yards from where he had started.

Ten minutes later, the queue started moving, slowly. Then suddenly it picked up speed, and in just a little longer than it had taken to walk around the buildings the opposite way, Shirt was at the entry doors and handing in his ticket. He made straight for the signing area, picking up a virtual queuing ticket for Amanda Tapping (#297). Dan Starkey was signing, but Shirt decided to see if he could find a larger photo for him to sign, to leave more space for Catrin the next day. Having had a preliminary look at all the stalls, Shirt arrived back at Dan’s area just in time for the queue to be broken off as Dan had to go to a panel.

Shirt therefore joined a queue for Jennifer Calvert, ‘Stargate SG-1’ guest star, but it was her appearance as Loretta, Lister’s virtual-reality moll, in award-winning ‘Red Dwarf’ episode ‘Gunmen of the Apocalypse’ that Shirt wanted to meet her for.

“Which ‘Red Dwarf’ episode was she in ?”, asked Jennifer’s steward, noticing Shirt’s DVD cover, whilst the previous person was getting her ‘Stargate’ items signed. Shirt attempted to explain, even citing the infamous blooper where Craig Charles’ hat falls off, but the steward still seemed none the wiser.

Jennifer happily signed Shirt’s cover, seemingly glad of a change from ‘Stargate’ fans.

Another browse of the stalls, Amanda having gone to a photo studio, and Shirt was back in time to join the queue for Dan, struggling to get his ‘Series 7B’ poster out of its tube. Reaching the front, Shirt paid for two autographs, and picked up a photo of the Paternoster Gang. First, Dan signed his poster, then Shirt laid down the photo.

“Can you sign it ‘To Shirt’, and leave enough room for Catrin tomorrow ?”.

Dan obliged, adding “Sontar-ha!!” to his name and the dedication.

However, Shirt was still unhappy.

“Can you add your character name, please ?”, he demanded, having seen Dan do so for everyone in front of him.

‘Strax’ added after the signature, and Shirt was moving off and attempting to force his poster back into the tube.

Amanda was back, but was only signing up to #180. Shirt therefore joined a long queue for Charles Martinet, the voice of Mario and Luigi (and Wario and various other characters in the franchise). Charles’ signature was free with entry (with additional items at £5 each), and so Shirt felt that this was a good way to waste time until his number for Amanda rolled round. Eventually after just over half-and-hour, Shirt reached the front, the queue having been held up by Mario fans get plethoras of items signed, including a ‘Wario’ who seemed to be getting several parts of her cosplay costume signed. Picking up one of the free 6x4s showing the two plumber brothers, Shirt shook the great man’s hand, before Charles signed the photo with both his own name and Mario’s.

Amanda it seemed had gone to lunch, and was still only up to #200. However, the sign indicated that she would be back from lunch in half-an-hour. Shirt therefore grazed the stalls for a third time, returning to find Amanda back and signing up to #250. A brief sit down, and read of some MDW back issues that he had bought at one of the stalls, and Amanda’s sign now read ‘1-400, no dedications’. Showing his virtual ticket, Shirt was hurried down to the payment table, paying for one autograph and taking a ‘Sanctuary’ publicity photo. Amanda shook Shirt warmly by the hand, before signing the photo, and Shirt was hurried away.

Exiting the building, purchasing a Seventh Doctor action figure and ‘Red Dwarf’ mug from Naughty Asteroid Global and a standard entry ticket for Sunday on the way, Shirt rushed home, as he had a late afternoon matinee of ‘The Rocky Horror Show’ to attend in Croydon.

Day Two

The next day involved a less early start, due to Shirt believing (correctly) that he would not require any virtual queuing tickets. The pre-pay standard entry queue only covered three-quarters of the first wall when Shirt joined it, half-an-hour before the queue would be let in. Shirt spent the wait listening to the latest Large Endings’ podcast, and five minutes after the doors opened was entering the fray once more.

He made for Catrin’s queue, which moved quickly, but which was held-up a little by Catrin becoming confused by the man in front of him, talking at length about getting David (Warner) to sign it the previous day, and so signing his DVD cover ‘To David’, rather than ‘To Andy’. Shirt silently empathised with him (see C,D&S...Meet A Blue Peter Badge Winner & S...A Pig of a Problem). Next it was Shirt’s turn, carefully enunciating his name, again getting his poster and photo signed, Catrin adding ‘The Wife’ before her name. Shirt then asked for a photo with her, which her steward took.

Thanking Catrin, Shirt moved off and swapping posters, got David Gyasi (Harvey in ‘Asylum of the Daleks’) to sign his ‘Series 7A’ poster. Next up was Ling Tai (Shou Yuing in ‘Battlefield’), who signed Shirt’s DVD cover and commented on his TARDIS T-shirt.

Shirt took a final look at the stalls, slightly annoyed that Naughty Asteroid Global had reduced their prices, and more annoyed that the ‘Revelation of the Daleks’ action figure set that he had finally decided to buy having seen it the previous day (reduced to £25) had completely sold out.

Returning to the signing area, Shirt got his final signature of the weekend, Matt Zimmerman (most famous as the voice of Alan Tracy in ‘Thunderbirds’) on his cassette sleeve of the Clive Merrison dramatisation of “A Study in Scarlet”, as Matt plays one of the murdered Americans (alongside fellow ‘Rent-a-Yanks’, Ed Bishop and Shane Rimmer). Shirt also spoke to him about his part as Sir Henry Baskerville in the Roger Rees/Crawford Logan pilot for the series.

Leaving the building, less than a hour after entering, Shirt wended his way home slowly, via Naughty Asteroid in Central London, just in time to watch Andy Murray become Wimbledon Men’s Singles Champion 2013.

[PL]