 This is the Integra part of a special Hellsing series created for Valentines ... click here for Alucard's version We R BB –
     Thanks to Val for help with the blog's code. Dry your tears milady Call on me if you need I will be your comfort, Oh my love, remember me ...
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Sunday Ugh ... almost done with chapter 9 of Marked when compy crashed again (my fault for not bringing the power adaptor home and running it on battery) ... this is the second time already - I hope most of my changes were saved, I know the last 5 minutes of work is definitely gone :P Is this someone's way of telling me the storys sucks? Mmm ... slept the whole day >__<' NOT GOOD. Want to travel the world @_@ ... imprisoned within my blood ... Had a fun if totally unproductive day. Finally found my wallet so went out for tea with parents. This week was hell being totally broke and resorting to selling off USD and AUSD in possession to keep mind and stomach in the same plane of reality. Bah. Thank goodness I have coins stashed away in the office for the last month. Oniichan kept A LOT of manga for me and I mean A LOT. For one, Hana no Kimi 20, Ganbette 13 and DNAngel 8 are out. Reading Levithian on his recommendation - outstandingly weird on content. Was funny as his friend was in the shop with his kid and watching oniichan and sis in law coo over the baby was entertaining ... kid grabbed my sleeve and won't let go until oniichan carried her away ~___~;; Had a wine party at my friend's place. F is leaving the office for another branch ... sigh, she is a very cool colleague so it's a little disheartening ... met E whose R's wife - she's a very interesting lady. And of course, I did have to leave my wallet at Belle's place so guess wat, am broke again (had to call mum to rescue me with cab money >_<"). WANTED: MANGA / DOUJINSHI PIMP WITH JAPANESE ADDRESS ... imprisoned within my blood ... Friday  ... imprisoned within my blood ... Thursday Marked Chapter 9 is up. Blatant rip off from SF ^__^ ... imprisoned within my blood ... 1. La Vie En Rose: Ange, all the secretaries are trying out your pink hair mascara (the one you lent my friend Belle) – the bosses are all rather amused. 2. The unbearable irony of life: Welcome to another pointless post kiddies. I am bored. After being worked almost to death in April and May, life has suddenly come to a nice cruise for the month of June i.e. minimal work, short days. Perversely, this relaxed life worries me – it’s not unusual for lawyers to be rested in between files especially when your bosses go on summer leave but there’s the nagging worry that refuses to go away, constantly reminding you there’s the risk you’ve bombed up on the last file and are now being cold turkeyed and systematically cleared of your work so you can be shoved out easily. So the question is, am I being rested for new work or for the slaughter house? Met CS for lunch today. She’s now with another firm and she agrees that this spates of “rest” is unnerving – especially since resting is staggered resulting in you being rested while others are slogging, making it virtually impossible to distinguish from “cold turkeying”. Then again even if they don’t fire me there’s always the possibility I’ll fire me. I need my one year out and the end of the year is not in sight. *gripes as she picks up needle to patch up shredded self-confidence* The truth is I know I’m not smart enuff, awfully careless, am extremely lazy and irresponsible and yet greedy to boot. Am paranoid, panicky and too smart alecky for my own good and my mouth has a mind of its own – one dumber than the one in my head. Somehow I’m less aware of these problems I have when worked to distraction. Alright, I’ll admit it – I HAVE NO LIFE and am trying to hide under the cover of work :P I need to go “rediscover” my life as corny as it sounds. I need help *mumbles and crumbles* - I need a new brain, a working one ~ ~;; and a nicer more loveable personality. Lots of cash won’t hurt either. One day I'm either going to look back at this post and laugh or nod miserably. The thing about a blog is you tend to say things you don't want people to know about and yet you post it for the whole world and sunder to see - yet another irony of life I guess. ... imprisoned within my blood ... Wednesday  You are Superior!Snape- though largely a fanon invention, this quiz hails you as The True Snape [tm]. Your conversation largely consists of witty putdowns and sardonic banter. You are eloquent, intelligent, smooth as satin and twice as sexy. The fangirls & boys drool after you. You are often alone because, let's face it, most of the world simply can't measure up. The fact that the Gryffindors hate your guts proves they're intellectually subnormal and don't realise that you hate everyone equally. You spend your time mocking the world and attending Sex Pistols concerts. Who said greasy hair can't be a fashion trend? History remembers you because your tongue was so sharp that you sliced yourself in two. Which Snape are You? by Marett Graves With artwork by Laura Freeman ... imprisoned within my blood ...
... imprisoned within my blood ... Monday Moot point with Pupil-san and Hellsing fans are welcomed to join in: Absolutely non-canon but IF Alucard and Integra could have a kid, who would drive who crazy first? Would the kid drive the parents nuts (of course the dad is rather crazy in the first place so as long as mum goes off the bend it's sufficient) or would the parents drive the little brat koots only to be driven more crazy by the totter in turn? ... imprisoned within my blood ... Hmm ... the more I think about it and the more I read the spoilers, the less inclined I am to read my HP when it arrives. He who died was one of my favorite characters ~_~ And then that's the news about intrigue and family history yatta yatta coming up. Fine, I might change my mind when the book comes and dig in but considering the fact I fell in love with the book because of its childlike appeal, I wonder if I will like the new direction the book is taking. Tales of Narnia was a book that retained its beauty and charm to the end ... lets hope HP retains its too. There's too much ugliness in this world and in my feeble attempts at escape from realism, I would like some respite from misery in general. Then again lets hope JKR has not been reading any X manga :P ... imprisoned within my blood ... Unfortunately, I did or still do adore the joker - see ya later today. And super fish, I mean pupil-san, we are buying you a hat too - the hat gang. ~ People, I do need volunteers to pimp manga and DJ for me and preferrably with a Japanese address. It's an "office" mourning dead for he who died - albeit the passage in question was a too tad flowery (as compared to my shoes). ... imprisoned within my blood ... Sunday Was a great day yesterday yo even if we did "girly" things for once. Glad you got your stuff El, ignore my email, I've managed to rectify the problem. Pupil-san, I'm sorry about dragging you around ... didn't know about your foot gomen. Monday? Am happy coz borrowed lots of cool manga from oniichan ^__^ and the only bane of my life now is packing and cataloguing my stuff. I really need a mail forwarding addy in Japan - volunteers? Oniichan introduced me to a friend in Japan but it turns out only his friend is back and only the missuses is in Japan now - which makes the blatant can you pimp for me question very difficult to pose ~__~;; Will try that dubious thingee ... hopefully it isn't so dubious afterall. Question for the day - when you live life to the fullest is it an attempt to enjoy life while it lasts or an attempt to use it up so you die young? Yes my secret ambition is to die before I'm 30. And why did JKR have to kill the only cool chao ah beng in harry potter land? SOB SOB SOB!!! As pupil san pointed out, I've a thing for chao kwai lan people with long hair - ranging from Clow Read, Tenpou, Integra to Sirus Black. ~ Note to self, it was great playing basketball again, should choose time to avoid sun tho'. Must loose flab and must pack house. Oh, and must live life properly again ... someone said I was not "NORMAL" *mock cries* ... imprisoned within my blood ... Friday This "American Lawyer in a Japanese Law Office" is interesting. Almost makes me want to rush thru my Jap course with a vengence and ask my present employers whether I can be shipped to Japan. I suspect however, that would be more plausible (not guaranteed not likely just more plausible) if I was a corporate lawyer. Quick social blogging - Em – Sat sounds good. Meet cha after your class ends at Bunka? If there is one thing more painful than waiting in vain for your hellsing DJ, it’s waiting in vain for your hellsing DJ while watching your friend’s Saiyuki ones arrive in nice thick packages ^________^;; SF – I told you it would be good. I did orientation as a counsellor for not one but two years (the second one was a little complicated but the first was good). I won’t blog more since the rite of passage, law matriculation and law camp are closely guarded secrets for reasons spoilers would so ruin the thing but I never regretted the mud, the sweat and yeah, the barrels. But tell me, did they still have the slides? And yes “if it may please the court” is a classic. There are more traditional classics planned up for freshies … just wait for them. And don’t forget to learn the law school birthday song if they’re still teaching it. Pity about the tree tho’. It was chopped down after my first year to build that covered walkway from arts. That’s the beauty of modernisation – wanna shade? Chop down the trees and build plastic covers – great you don’t have no more leaves but now it’s hot even if shaded - thank you so much NUS. I’m getting nostalgic. Law school doesn’t laugh at you, it laughs with you – provided you have a good sense of sport and humour. And while I indulge myself further in happy school day dreams, onto your obligatory senseless ranting - 1. Senseless self bashings – the one in which Kit admits she is less than the brilliant moron she wants you to think she is but stresses it’s not her fault I love reading lawyer's blogs and I hate reading them. I love reading them because I can identify. I hate reading them because they sound like cool adults while I sound like some whinny kid. Of course the fact I am so a whiny kid has nothing to do with it :P I write like an idiot, it must be someone else’s fault. If I make mistakes, it’s someone else’ evil plot of showing how much more they are smarter than me. If I don’t have anything, it’s coz someone refused to scan it and post it on the internet for a free for all. There, I’m finally falling in with the new world order one fangurl tried to impress on a few of us last week. 2. Violence to phones – someone call the SPCA Am ranting due to inbuilt pressures in stomach from being supremely pissed off this morning coz I dropped my phone thus scratching it. Have not been sleeping well this week due to stress of 'no billing hours' and heat. I hate this concept of billing hours. My professional worth is judged by it and it is something that I have least control over. But the back to the main story of how miffed I am I scratched my new gold cover. *screams* I love Samsung I really do but why the hell do their pretty metallic covers scratch and peel so easily? I feel stupid. I got SMSes this morning as a result of which I instinctively threw the phone outta the room so I could go back to sleep - something I've done with my old Erricson (except that phone was bulkier and hardier altho I did smash the LCD screen because of that incident). 3. Health surgeon warning Latching onto the above, be warned. Never wake Kit in the morning until she is ready to wake up. Since we’re on the topic of health disasters, I have a packet of cigars in my office drawer. Anyone wanna join me for a smoke? See point 9 below. 4. Inner demons – pay them quick to quit rent So I admit, I'm a control freak. I hate not having control over things, I hate it when I damage inanimate objects (poor phone’s got missing paint patches now ~__~;;) but in the words of Joe Fox of You've Got Mail (which I watched with success for the first time yesterday on laptop while waiting for a friend to arrive for dinner - previous attempts had been thrwated by the mysterious hand of fate), "so sue me". See my posts are not as cool as those lawyer blogs *whines* they talk about cool things, I just ramble *wails* *stomps* *jumps* *screams* *Laughs* You guys still here? Am I to take it you really want to read this senseless blabbings? 5. You’ve got problems – we all do I liked the show - You've Got Mail that is. I just didn't see the hoo-hah. What was the big deal to a big store with successful business tactics? Was there a real need to waste national TV time on a petty quarrel between stores. Or maybe it's Singapore's famous apathy. There are certain special aspects to being Singaporean. You become more willing to go with social order for the "good of the community" so as to speak. For example, despite one or two rebel johnnies (whom the rest of the country promptly decided were jerks - muah included), most of us obeyed the quarantine orders when SARS struck. That was, in my opinion, the life saver for this country. But before we move on, I’m a sucker for anything with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in it, especially if they are both in it. Is it me or is Tom Hanks starting to look a little like the uncle in the kopi thiam these days, yeah the one in the singlet and curly hair who screams into his handphone ‘An zuah.” (hokkien for what’s up) Meg on the other hand is well deserving of her title as America’s sweetheart. 6. We’re small – so sue us It could be because of all those national songs on radio but in case I don’t live till 9 August, here’s telling Singapore I love her, really. We've got no resources, no land, no nothing and we're pathetically small. By sheer wheeling and dealing, we’ve survived. People in general wonder why Singaporeans emphasize so much on their minor successes – truth is, we’ve got nothing else to brag about. You’ve got natural wonders, we’ve only got our egos. Cut some slack yo. 6b. The Great Singapore Quarantine SARS could have wiped us out clean. The authorities reacted quickly, “ruthlessly” banishing people to their homes for 10 days. It was like the Black Plague days O_o;; *laughs* Fortunately, most Singaporeans were well trained and were so well whipped into not really caring about human rights - our interest is money, as some neighbours have called us, it seems to be all we “materialistic, unfriendly people” care about (of course that is another thesis of a rant in itself but that’s for another day) – that as long as you provided a subsidiary to help out within those 10 days, we were quite happy to be locked up. So while most of the world baulked at the idea of home quarantines, we actually took it quite well here. It never ceases to intrigue me – what is a proper balance between human rights and community co-hesion? Where do we draw the line from being a pain in the ass and deadbeats? For example, SIA the country’s carrier fired 414 today. In other countries, it would have been a massive strike and street protest extraordinaire. In Singapore we just complain on the newspaper. I still think the unions are a tad mad – between paycuts and layoffs, what’s the rationale for refusing to budge on the former but still, I do feel awful for the ones told to go. In this time and age, jobs are becoming increasingly rare. You see, about two thousand years ago, someone predicted this – for one, we seemed to have fulfilled the part of the prophecy about locus with the wings of iron and faces of men and women … But it worries me tho’ sometimes how apathetic we’ve become, unless of course the world is ending now in which case all is pointless. But no politics for me thank you, I would, like every other apathetic Singaporean, like to keep away. And so there is no conclusion to this, I was just pretending to be intellectual to impress you dear reader. 7. Kit and the Order for the Harry Potter Book I want my Harry Potter. I have fears it’s going soft tho’ … tends to happen when you get too successful, but after the disappointment by Artemis Fowl going good, as long as JK doesn’t do something too daft, I could live with anything Potter – speaking of which, I hope I get my Harry P DJ soon. And when the Hell is my Hellsing DJ arriving *stares at mailbox* 8. Blonde women bonnaza Thought this would be a rant on playboy huh? Gotcha. Nothing quite so sex-licious. I have the perfect new plot addition to Marked. That thing is a monster … it’s becoming a soap opera, and a badly written one at that. I had a fetish to go buy a blonde wig and stick it on pupil san to glomp her - *giggles madly* By the way, can I dictate and someone type the fic? Volunteers? The best part about being me tho’ is no one reads my fic (most people ignore what I say in real life anyway) so at least no fan demands *phew* 9. Decisions, indecisions and a burst of meaness I need to quit blogging but saying it here at this point seems quite unconvincing no? I need to work but suffice to say, it’s not that hot at this point. I feel quite tired at times. I do not have all the answers to life nor have I professed to. I can count the number of people who want help etc. etc. from me on 4 hands while I can only count those who have helped me on one. Trust me, I would like a role reverse now! I’m an incompetent idiot, a selfish brat and a whinny complaining tweek – I am entitled!!! As you can gather, I am quite a stupid little girl (not so little quite fat and old but let’s pretend we didn’t see that). I really want to cry and declare I don’t know what to do so people who keep asking me to solve their problems scare me. And that’s why I treasure those people I can count on that little one hand. I need to lose weight ... kick-boxing should be a good way to lose that flab and that extra mean energy *am happy again, oh joy* 10. The one in which the point of this post is summarised, i.e. NOTHING Had some great insight … what was it? Bah … ... imprisoned within my blood ... Thursday Oh my gosh!!! I want to meet this chick whoever she is. Interesting what goggle searches turn up if you're mad enuff to play with it. O_o;; This is a joke right ... it's gotta be ^___^ ... imprisoned within my blood ... *Revives briefly* 1. leaves comment on pupil-san's blog. 2. crawls off to catelogue hellsing dj 3. dreams up a evil scheme 4. about to put scheme into action but shot dead by Integra Integra: Hmph. That was a close one. *goes off to clean the pistol* Alucard: Wait a mintue, you should have let me ask her where she's hiding the coats she stole from me!!! Integra: Whatever, I'll get the tailor to make you a new one *turns round and shoots the kitten a bit more for good measure* ... imprisoned within my blood ... Tuesday You my dear servant can dream on. ~ Integra ... imprisoned within my blood ... So Alucard, what do we do now that the rabid kitten is dead? ~ Integra ... imprisoned within my blood ... For sale: Second hand but mint Clover manga (japanese, first edition) Vol 1, Vol 2, Vol 3, Vol 4 Please help pass the word. Thankies. ~ Integra Hellsing (seeing how Kit is lying dead on the carpet) ... imprisoned within my blood ... Monday Due to my failure to keep my Hellsing manga in perfectly controlled temperatures, volume 1's lamination (the back) has busted ... marring the picture of Integra. Excuse while I go kill myself for this. Good bye cruel world where office tables can overheat due to lighting. ... imprisoned within my blood ... Friday Am starting to really regret not going to the "search and destroy" hellsing event in Tokyo. *sobs* But family time *looks confused* vs Integra stuff *sobs* vs limited resources i.e. money *freaks out* Ahhhh ... *runs off screaming* BIG, what time tomorrow and where, pending Em and Serene's ability to join us? ... imprisoned within my blood ... Thursday Any suggestions on where to take a 16 year old guy friend out for dinner? And before you go down that route, get your mind outta the gutter. ... imprisoned within my blood ... Am not doing work still ... so can see gullitone over head *sobs* ... imprisoned within my blood ... Wednesday Today have been bad girl. Not doing work but surfing on the x700 and talking to people about it. Okay, the 3 loves of my life are my manga, my x700 and the PS but I've so fallen in love with my camera again ^ ^;; Anyone in love with the minolta x700? Bloody beautiful camera. Was surfing for sites and forums on it and I'm not the only one mad about it (at least I know of 4 guys who are mad about it too). But can't find it anymore ... even finding a newer SLR is getting hard on the camera sites. Darn you digis!!! Should I give up and join the dark side? Kheels thinks I should but I so love my x700 the same way I love coffee done traditionally ... I may be more hide bound than I think >_< " Which brought me to my slight dis-satisfaction with my last holiday ... damn, I should have gone to Tokyo or to some European city instead - somehow I don't enjoy modern places as much as I do when I visit cities drenched in years and years of history and art - Kheels was teasing me about being a pretentious, misleading snob today - guess what, he's probably correct XD ... imprisoned within my blood ... Mad camera ramblings - ignore unless interested in manual cameras. ------------------------- Freaking cows ... I've just spent $1500 redoing my camera collection. OUCH O_o;; Have yet to recover from paying family's trip to Melbourne and I do this to myself ~__~;; But am happy because I have new lens, new drybox, new flash, one additional new camera, new tripod and new filters. Am cackling as I keep my fingers crossed that some spoilt equipment can be salvaged but this month's expenses have really and definitely gone thru the roof ;__; I love photography but it's so freakishly expensive. Ignore me, I'm just doing the dragon thing of looking at my loot and cackling to myself - Loot count *gloats*: 1. 2 minolta x700 (1 under repair for fungus infection *sob*) 2. 1 sigma lens f 5.6 to f22, zoom 50 to 220, macro (down due to fungus - curse humidity in the tropics) 3. 1 kolba lens zoom 60 to 300, f 5.6 to f22 4. 1 minolta lens zoom 28 to 70, macro, f3.5 to f22 (mild fungus - repairs) 5. 2 tripod stands (one slightly rusted *sulks* must go buy something to arrest the rusting at the handle) 6. new step up rings 7. lens hood 8. 1 spolit Merz flash - I hope it can be fixed ;_; 9. 1 new senz flash - very antique very cool 10. new filters and various assessories I so hope 1, 2 and 4 and 8 can be fixed ... especially 2. That lens is a rarity. My uncle is taking care of 2 and 8 for me ... must buy him something nice - sold me my new stuff sans no. 3 at cost and I feel really bad especially I owe him one having done something bad when I was a kid *dies of shame*. I was supposed to send 1 and 4 to Minolta's branch here in Singapore since my uncle said it was fastest to get it to there directly than to have it done thru his shop and wait for him to send it to the M branch but I got to the M branch too late and so I dumped the stuff at a camera shop beside the M branch instead. The people of that shop John 3:16 are quite cool - whole bunch of camera mad youngsters running the place so it was very very fun talking to them. Bought no. 3 there (last piece and they all had that already and were quite happy with the lens' performance) and one of them said that since we were both x700 addicts, he would give me an extra red filter for my camera *glomps him*. It was fun talking to them - all 4 of them guys were hilarious. Incidentally we all have x700s and are always on the look out for more. They couldn't fix 2 and 8 tho' so I called my uncle who said he had an alternative contact (only that the guy was abroad so it would cost more to repair than at a local joint) I was sooooo grateful I nearly yelped ... most of my camera equipment is not being sold anymore since it's a manual camera system which has been obseleted by damn digital photography >_< It was funny coz the minute I stepped in and brought out my stuff for repairs, the whole shop started crowding round to look at them ... the other customers were quite surprised by the guys' reactions since the 4 chaps were asking me to sell my camera parts to them instead of fixing it - how often do you get shops begging to buy your stuff instead of selling things to you. Then we spent so much time talking - considering I didn't know anyone, it was hilarious coz the next thing I knew I was gapping about travelling, camera tips with these guys and they were telling me about how long they had been at the shop, wat they did, their mishaps at embassies etc. (no Ange, I was not spreading the pot :P) I might pop back from time to time - these guys are really fun to chat camera with and altho my uncle is the bestest, he is reducing his stock of manual cameras *boo-hoo* as are most places. Ugh ... want old manual photography back!!! No offence but a digital is just NOT the same as having things developed on film via silver bromide. So upset about the fungus but it was so my fault. I really could have taken care of my things better - my old drybox was dead and I was too lazy-arsed to fix it ... no longer now, new box and careful maintenance for my cameras from now on. It's not the cost of repairs that frazzles me, it's the idea that the thing may be permenantly spoilt *keeps fingers crossed for 8 since my uncle was most uncertain about that being repairable* Hmm ... anyhow, I must buy some cleaning brushes for my cameras this week. ... imprisoned within my blood ... Tuesday Rant >>> I hate getting to know my relatives' or friend's boyfriend or girlfriend only to be stuck in an awkward position when they don't end up being my in-laws or my friend-in-law (if such a word exists). Its quite okay if the guy or girl wasn't so nice such that you won't miss them when they gone - there have been some I'm glad have been dumped. However, when the person in question is a really great person and have almost become part of your family or close circle of friends because they're always there for the family or the circle at your familys' or the circle's down moments even tho' they had yet to be officially part of it by marriage, it hurts somewhat. Worse still when they are loveable and are obviously hurt by the breakup. Harder is it to bear when your relative or friend is objectively (not subjectively but really objectively) the one in wrong to the extent that if he or she was not related to you or otherwise so dear to you, you would call your own relative or friend a jerk or a bitch to his or her face. And when you see that stranger who has become a friend and who was this close to becoming a relative or part of the circle whose addition you would have enjoyed - knowing full well she or he has been betrayed and hurt by someone related or dear to you, wandering around listlessly looking so lost and hurt, it is difficult to decide what to do. You know you can't talk to them coz you would only remind them of the breakup. You want to reach out to this person and say, "it's not your fault, you were a great person, our family or circle just didn't have the good fortune of having you as a member" but you know you can't. You know you've lost a friend irrevocably through no fault of your own. Maybe I should refuse on principle to talk to people dating my friends or family until they've actually married the person in question ... or maybe removing a heart would be a good thing. I'm such a chicken wuss ;__; On that same note, don't any of you who are my friends date any of my other friends or my relatives *shakes fist threateningly and unreasonably* ... imprisoned within my blood ... Ange and Koji have got nice nice layouts *drools* Scheming one wine tasting session with friends and work and another with the BIG. Woo hoo!!! ... imprisoned within my blood ... Monday Ki-shun which is the second hand Jap bookstore I've been raving about is having its 2nd anniversary sale. Good time to pick up manga ... I got 5 volumes of Clover for S$15. They've got Wild Adaptor and Lawful Drug (both volumes 1 and 2) for S$3 to 4 per book so go check it out people. Considering the kino pricetag on the Clover books was S$12.03 per book, I consider this a windfall ^___^ The quality is quite good altho it's 2nd hand, small dent in the corner is the worse you can get most of the time. ... imprisoned within my blood ... Sunday This is funny ... Nii, Genjo and I got the same Jap teacher ^___^ I wanted to raid the lawyer's bookstore in Melbourne but they were closed on Saturday - Melbourne is a nice place but the pace is NOT my cuppa tea. ... imprisoned within my blood ... Saturday Coming home later in the day. Going to visit Vict Market. Yesterday was fun, piling up on wines ^___^ Thurs was shopping at Bridge Rd and Wednesday was the Great Ocean Road Tour. The tour guide was a great fellow and chok full of fun. Tues was main sight seeing day. This trip was good. Tad pity I have to be back on Monday at work ~___~;; I have a question tho. What is it about muah that makes total strangers come up and spill their life story ... do I look like a priest for confession :P ... imprisoned within my blood ... ... how long will it be before I lose control ... how long will it be before he finds me? ... oh preserve my soul, preserve my pride Preserve my sanity thru this nite ... |
