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October 28, 2002 MANIPULATION A four-year-old falls to the supermarket aisle floor, screaming, when you refuse a request. An indignant fifth-grader says, when you take away his CD-player, "In Miss Green's class, we're allowed to use these!" A young teen complains, vocally and bitterly, when you correct her for applying make-up during a learning activity. A 17-year-old (who was just politely reminded to stop talking by a librarian) says "Now I know why my friends tell me you hate Asian students!" A mother, talking with you about an incident involving her son, tells you she believes you pick on her son. The father of a teen, called to school because his son refused to follow a teacher's reasonable directions, becomes verbally abusive to a middle school supervisor. A parent talking with a teacher about her teen daughter's behavior asks the teacher about what is done when another student does the same behavior.
In each example, manipulation and deflection are the common elements. Deflection behaviors and arguing are learned, and even occasional success in application reinforces continued use. Students (and others) use them to engage you and apply pressure (perhaps by choosing a public setting) to get what they want by turning attention to another issue. They are successful often enough to warrant repetition. Sometimes the other issue is fictional or meaningless, but at other times there's enough truth to engage a response from you. Once an argument begins, the manipulator has won. Practice builds skill in managing manipulation. Here are some helps: (1) recognize the strategy; refuse engagement. (2) In private and when appropriate, listen respectfully and acknowledge the other person's distress. (In class or in public would rarely be appropriate.) (3) Know the real issue, know your position, and be ready to re-state your position firmly. (4) Move to problem-solving and relationship-building. Anger is not necessary. A version of the statement "I understand, but that's not the point" can support you unless the child is very young: only firm action (not talk) will resolve the first example. When you refuse to be manipulated, the child or adult) may continue to test until your consistency no longer reinforces him. (And consider this kicker: The child will continue to use manipulations on others, when they work!) Let's look at one example from the list above, and script a solution:
Mom (in conference with teacher): "Kevin tells me you pick on him."
[Teacher listens empathetically with appropriate eye contact.]
Teacher: "Mrs. Gonsalves, I understand Kevin tells you I pick on him. I don't single him or other students out, but that's not the point. Kevin refuses to follow my directions."
Mom: "Well . . . I would be very upset if he was not treated fairly."
Teacher: "Of course you would, and so would I. But you know, I'm certain we can work together to help Kevin choose to follow my instructions."
A formula can not teach you to manage manipulation, but practice makes it easier. So does knowing your own bottom line and being able to state and re-state the real issue, firmly and clearly. In training teachers to build comprehensive classroom management plans, learning to manage manipulation is an important element.
October 27, 2002 AVOID REACTION My middle-school students may burst out with a comment or question that is completely out of place during a lesson. Please suggest a useful reaction.
A useful strategy might be no reaction. If students regularly blurt out off-task questions or comments (or roam out of seats), this is an indicator: you need to teach behavior appropriate to that learning activity. If outbursts are occasional and disrupt no one (but irritate you) nothing compels you to respond at that moment. Make a record, form a plan for a repeater, and take action privately later. Sometimes the solution might be as simple as investment in building a relationship with that student outside class, where you can provide positive attention. You will get best results if you build a comprehensive classroom management plan. Learn how to do so from a trainer or colleague. In my consulting practice, I train teachers how to build such plans. The training is 90% activity-based, modeling cooperative learning strategies which can be copied in a classroom. I design training plans to meet needs of the subject group; detailed information is posted on the SAMPLE CURRICULUM page (link above).
October 22, 2002 SENDING STUDENTS FROM CLASS Sometimes I want to remove a student from my classroom and send him or her to the office for discipline. My principal discourages this and seems upset with me.
All schools need a clear, easy-to-use ALERT procedure, by which any staff person in serious trouble can get help from the office or police immediately. However, if you send students out for routine discipline, your principal is right to voice concern. When you send a student to the office for routine discipline, four negative things can happen. First, you communicate to the student that you can not or will not manage the matter yourself. This erodes your credibility. Second, you give control of the matter to someone else, and you can not then take it back. Third, unless you know the conditions in the office or exactly what will happen there, reinforcement appropriate to the situation is not likely to occur. Your principal will have many other matters for his or her attention, and most will be more urgent than yours. Finally: The child may be positively reinforced simply by being sent away from you. Alternatives: (1) Engage a more experienced teacher or administrator to help you examine other possibilities. There are too many options to list here and choosing among them can not be reduced to a formula. (2) Engage the child (privately at a neutral time) in goal-setting. Use that conference to establish a positive relationship as well as behavior boundaries. (3) If you don't have a comprehensive classroom management plan, learn how to set one up. Part of my consulting practice is training teachers how to build a personal vision and comprehensive management plan, best taught to groups (three, four or more) to teachers who have chosen this professional development. This training is 90% activity-based and thus has the added benefit of modeling cooperative learning strategies. On the FOR ADMINISTRATORS page (link above) a sample curriculum will be posted in November 2002. Until then your principal can ask for a hard copy by e-mail: mdabney@hpu.edu.
October 19, 2002 CLASSROOM CHAOS My students do so many things that make me angry! I am verbally reactive in destructive, unproductive ways. I don't like this situation, and sometimes feel hopeless. How can I begin to change this negative culture?
Chaos in a classroom is destructive and painful for the teacher, and interferes with students' ability to learn. There is no single best way to start, but many options. Here are a few: (1) Engage someone to observe your classroom behavior. This could be a peer teacher (from your school or another school), an administrator, or a consulting professional. You should be confident that this person is motivated and experienced in helping teachers and in observing you to help you better your professional practice. (2) Observe peers who have reputation for good teaching practice and are willing to be observed. Find behaviors that work in those classes; copy them. (3) Identify your commonest teaching settings. Examples: lecture or directions, testing, solo seat work, enter/leave the room, pair task or group task. (4) Identify what specific, observable behavior you need from students in each teaching setting. (5) Figure out how to teach these behaviors to students, and script your initial teaching. Some teachers can do (3), (4) and (5) alone, but it is very common for teachers to need training and often beneficial to do these tasks in a group. For more help, see TEACHING WANTED BEHAVIOR on the FOR TEACHERS page (link above). (6) After you have done 3-5, script an open discussion with students. Acknowledge in simple language that what you have been doing is not working and is unproductive for you and interferes with their learning. Explain that you have made a plan to change, and that you need and expect their help. Explain the plan and work slowly, one item at a time. Precisely how to do this, how to engage students, and what language to use, depends on many variables, including student age, their level of trust, and the current cultural challenges. Your tone and timing is important. Planning is important. Developmental observations, supportive planning and scripting, with individuals and groups, are a significant part of my consulting practice.
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