this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that donʼt warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed  !

jon   w r i t e s

well actually i guess i am pretty addicted to browsing bullshit and not really doing much research

my

r e p l y

to research something is to see below the surface !

lol, i had just written the theist/atheist poem further below when this turns up in the inbox !

Hello dear,

My name is Rose Williams I have decided to donate what I have at the service of God through you, the sum of  $6.320  million

You may be wondering why I choose you in this humanitarian work

Since contacting you is a divine direction from God, I have no option. Presently, I am under limited living according to my physician

This money is an inheritance from my husband who deposited this money with a financial institution before his death

Let me know urgently your acceptance, handling this humanitarian work on my behalf for the benefit of street children, open orphanage homes, schools, hospitals and helping widows.  God is my strength and in Him, I put all my trust and faith because with him, all things are possible.  Get back to me urgently for more details as you agree with your heart to give this transaction effective handling.  May you remain blessed

Mrs.  Rose Williams

should i become a theist and collect my share of the  $6.32  million ?

Writers Are Always A Charity !

: o)

iʼm not a theist

iʼm not an atheist

iʼm

N O T

“ I ”

iʼm not a theist

iʼm not an atheist

iʼm

NOT

I

iʼm not a theist

iʼm not an atheist

iʼm

not

i

iʼm not an atheist

iʼm not a theist

iʼm

N O T

“ I ”

iʼm not an atheist

iʼm not a theist

iʼm

NOT

I

iʼm not an atheist

iʼm not a theist

iʼm

not

i

iʼm not a theist

iʼm not an atheist

iʼm

NOT

i

iʼm not a theist

iʼm not an atheist

iʼm

not

i

iʼm not an atheist

iʼm not a theist

iʼm

N O T

I

iʼm not an atheist

iʼm not a theist

iʼm

i

iʼm an atheist

iʼm a theist

iʼm

i

iʼm not an atheist

iʼm not a theist

iʼm

NOT

i

iʼm not an atheist

iʼm not a theist

iʼm

not

i

its easier to be unfair to a person after they are dead  !

its easier to be unfair to a person after they are dead  !

its easier to be unfair to a person after they are dead  !

: o (

its easier to be unfair to a person after they are dead  !

its easier to be unfair to a person after they are dead

jon writes on internet addiction

 . . but there is never such a feeling of being satiated with browsing

my   reply

you have to sorta  “ research ”  when you browse, lots of sideways searching to explore in depth . .

that's also how you end up with top quality material !

a good michael palin   video  on andrew wyeth

 i try to say something about life but i can't  .  .  .

theoredics always seem to collapse into absurdity at some point

illumination is by example only  !  .  .   :  o  )

 i try to say something about life but i can't . . .

theoredics always seem to collapse into absurdity at some point

illumination is by example only  !  .  .   : o )

 i try to say something about life but i can't . . .

theoredics always seem to collapse into absurdity at some point

illumination is by example only ! . .

 i try to say something about life but i can't . . .

theoredics always seem to collapse into absurdity at some point

illumination is by example only !

 i try to say something about life but i can't . . .

theoredics always seem to collapse into absurdity at some point

illumination is by example only

lorianne  disabato    w r i t es

every sunday, i spend a good part of the day preparing for the coming week, packing lunches and setting out not just one but five outfits, each coordinated down to the jewellery

on any given morning, i don’t have time to stand in front of my closet wondering what to wear, so it makes the day go more smoothly if I can simply jump in the shower, knowing that day’s outfit is at the top of the pile

my

r e p l y

i guess the male mind balks at that ,  especially the word  “ co-ordination ”  !

actually you can tell a lot about a woman by the jewellery she wears, maybe its some sort of evolutionary signalling system !

men take heed !

but i wouldn't be surprised if women also used it to assess others of their gender !

i know some-one who donated his kidney to his brother, imo it affected him adversely !

actually there is a writer karl ove knausgaard is  indebted  to ,  another  norwegian  !

a   folly ,  a lot of ability and work going in the wrong direction  !

the endless female fascination with   display  !

sepehr   a s k s

is it better to do shikantaza outside or to do it in one's room with the red light ?

does being in natural scenery facilitate the deconstructive effects ?

i do speak from experience

my

r e p l y

“ I do speak from experience ”

  why are you asking me then ?

 this sort of thing is too involving for me and you need to be much more self reliant !

what would interest me is when you have spent a month or two working things out and are able to share your observations so there is some benefit and interest to myself as well as you !

----------------------

this work is not a prescription, its a process of discovery  !

the problem with the comments section of blogs is the owners are obliged to address wrong minded or erronous comments to  “ keep their end up ”  so to speak, otherwise the poster is getting a  “ free ride ”  selling their bullshit . .

this is actually a huge burden in energy and time

i don't know why this has taken me so long to figure out . .

with private messages or email you are free to simply ignore without public consequence . .

the other advantage is that with a private approach, people have to take on board the fact its they that want contact with you and not you with them which should be somewhat chastening  .  .

with public domain posting they can fool themselves their posting is just part of a public discourse and they don't have to take you, the blog owner seriously and so these inconsiderate arseholes just piss all over the place as is their habitual want  .  .

reddit zen, hinduism and meditation and the hardcore zen blog are suitable public urinals for these stupids !

: o ) (

hinduism is a montage of idiocy  !

hinduism is a montage of idiocy  !

hinduism is a montage of idiocy !

hinduism is a montage of idiocy

david foster wallace  was  in his sister's words  “an incredible pot head”  at high school, that makes a lot of sense, he damaged his brain, he's sorta not quite there in terms of being a  quality  thinker !

his sister's  reference

there's research out about how damaging pot is during the fragile developmental stage of adolesence and also young adulthood !

maybe he smoked pot all his adult life and charles bukowski  (who was a first rate thinker)  was right, pot damages the cognitive capabilities way more than alcohol !

anti-disciple  :  you are wrong

me  :   why are you talking to me ?

anti-disciple for the next three years proceeds to tell me how right they are . .

anti-disciple  :  you are wrong

me  :   why are you talking to me ?

anti-disciple for the next three years proceeds to tell me how right they are . .

my

c o m m e n t

some repeating patterns are very penal !

i wish i was joking !

:

o

(

you seek what you understand, you cannot entertain what you do not understand !

you seek what you understand, you cannot entertain what you do not understand

zakaj ,  you seek what you understand, you cannot entertain what you do not understand !

zakaj ,  you seek what you understand, you cannot entertain what you do not understand

i was looking at brad warner's  problems  critically, it's obvious to me and i guess will slowly become obvious to him that book tours are not viable financially and how could they be with ebooks and the web with its near perfect low cost distribution system and also how his book was crap anyway . .

bad brad . .

well i was sort of still running this in my mind when i decide to try to take a plastic fitting off the wet half of a submersible bore pump, heat up the rim with a gas flame and see if it will unscrew . .

so trying to unscrew it  (it didn't)  i grabbed too close to the hot stainless steel and now have a 2nd degree burn on my left first finger and thumb  ( trying some  vitamin k  on it ! )

this sort of thing can be a nuisance for two weeks to a month !

bad andrew . .

we are incompetent in our different ways

this is one lesson life has taught me as i grow older . .

if there's a fray, hang back !

if there's a fray, hang back !

: o ) (

if there's a fray, hang back !

if there's a fray, hang back

linking opens up the interest for the reader

too much is distracting from the original post is the negative side

but well judged linking makes for a richer reading experience !

well, i learnt something interesting today, yeast only makes alcohol when its starved of oxygen, that's why alcoholic beverages are made in sealed containers !

when no oxygen is available alcohol fermentation occurs in the cytosol of yeast cells !

zakaj, you are just passing the time pissing nonsense

you are just passing the time pissing nonsense

fuck chernobyl, they still have radioactive reindeer in finland !

the tattoo ink industry is entirely unregulated, they could put in cyanide legally !

basically the inks look like an infection to the body and are walled off which is why they remain there, but what's in the inks slowly leaks out plus there's a heft to the body from the initial placement !

also an allergy problem as that is the mechanism by which they are retained

sepehr  psuedo-asks

what orchestra gives the best renditions of bach's music ?

my  re p l y

sepehr, please do not post comments as asked in the 7th patriarch blog description !

you don't put the contemplative time in, you will always be stuck at a level below what i am interested in

i don't say you should do it but i need to watch out for myself !

sepehr replies

the best way to read cioran's tears and saints is by listening to bach and meditating to it  ( ie  shikantaza, watching one's own thoughts and letting them dissolve without reference point)

I think that constitutes contemplative time

my

r e p l y

my god, we are finally getting down to it !

i'm glad you wrote that, its the essence of the difference !

that is just writing some-one else's thoughts over your own, real contemplation is endless years of the mind turning over itself and on itself in a sort blankness for the most part . .

see we really disagree at a fundamental level and our contact while not quite hostile is contrary, we both vote with our different approaches so at this point i am withdrawing

please go your own way . .

we are all damaged robots here, but your way is the way of the vast majority, entertaining themselves until they die, my way is only taken by one in a million . .

what robert blake should have asked himself before he arranged for  (or did himself)  the  shooting  of his wife, is, even if there is no direct evidence ,  would he be the most likely suspect ?

he's a good actor and i don't feel he ever denied being responsible for the murder !

murder always seems a contradictory process to me ,   the negative consequences of being the most likely suspect must always outweight any perceived benefit of the murder, and tautologically most murders are committed by the likely suspect !

a successful murder needs to be committed by an unlikely suspect, but again tautologically they do not commit murder, because, being unlikely they have nomotiveorbenefit to gain  !

the most telling indication of guilt was his  ‘  socialization  violence ’  experience as a  child  which seems a bit unfair

poor fellow, it seems you can't do anything if you are famous without being  noticed  !

constance woolson’s short story collection  “ miss grief and other stories ”  has a   gem  called  “ st. clair flats ”

zakaj, i have had advice i haven't listened to for ten, twenty, thirty years, it doesn't hurt me to see you go through the same process !

let’s hope your avoidance is not too fatal ! :o )

zakaj, i have had advice i haven't listened to for ten, twenty, thirty years, it doesn't hurt me to see you go through the same process !

zakaj, i have had advice i haven't listened to for ten, twenty, thirty years, it doesn't hurt me to see you go through the same process

sepehr   asks/writes

After studying Richard Carrier, I think people are retarded to ever have believed in a historical Jesus in the first place.  It's so fucking obvious, lol.  There is just a lack of evidence 

The early epistles and Paul treat him as a celestial being that people know through divine revelation, and the Gospels were altered a lot in the beginning by early Christian rival sects to give the impression of Jesus being a historical figure  (ie  "Euhemerism")

Tacitus, Jospehus, and Tallus are not reliable evidence too for obvious reasons

Do you have the link arguing that Buddha was originally a tree shrine God ?  Thanks

my

r e p l y

the argument for buddha being a tree shrine god is that the character is clearly fictitious being so incongruous with real life so you are merely looking for an explanation of the context in which it arose

tree shrine worship has always been endemic to the area and the deepest level of excavation at the supposed birthplace of buddha, lumbini, has   uncovered  a tree shrine !

islam also has an issue with the earliest koran being dated as written before muhammad’s maturity

the way i approach it is jesus, buddha and muhammad’s lives are utterly asynchronous with the way the world works and  “real”  prophets like mani have lives and meet a fate much more typical of the way the world and especially religion works !

a belief in the physical and historical reality of these hagiographic supermen  ( zen also pedestalizes  the  “ masters ”  in its stories in a more limited way )  implies  “ gods justice ”  which is actually contrary to the way the world really works  ie  ‘ the good die young ! ”

another chronic distortion of reality is the belief that an underworld heavy, illiterate and uneducated like william shakespeare could have written those plays !

sir henry neville and his so interesting life fits the bill exactly as the real author and not only is congruent with, but illuminates the way reality really works  !

bullshit reviews

I    II

non bullshit reviews

I    II

at my age i have been surprised to move so distinctly ahead of you both, but there it is !

-----------------------------------------

zakaj   comments

well I have seen many things when i lived for six months in japan also in spiritual communities

I am cynical too when it comes to religion and  “spiritual communities”

zakaj, at the end of the day i have had quite a bit of practical experience with real life religion ,  teachers, centers and am a lot more cynical and jaded than you are about the vocabulary and people

you donʼt  vote  with your feet so you are never going to see that and will remain stuck !

the problem with horror stories is they use adrenaline to imprint junk into your memory !

the problem with horror stories is they use adrenaline to imprint junk into your memory

the problem with horror stories is they use adrenaline to imprint rubbish into your memory !

the problem with horror stories is they use adrenaline to imprint rubbish into your memory

a woman may feel a child is entirely hers but actually its half someone else

v1 & v2

life is full of hostility why deal with more than you have to ?

v1 & v2

massive floods along the tigris and euphrates are the basis of the noah’s ark story ,  60 feet of silt and that sort of thing, they  need  to pay attention !

let’s see what happens ! : o ( )

life ,  the  “ stairway to heaven ”  tune was plagiarized, the original composer died at 45 saving his drowning son, bob dylan is an even more accomplished plagiarist !

the   “ stairway to heaven ”  tune was plagiarized, the original composer died at 45 saving his drowning son, bob dylan is an even more accomplished plagiarist !

i really am feeling burnt by researching sepehr’s suggestion of the book  “the hospice”  by robert aickman, its entertainment and wrong minded, this sort of swill is endless and it actually hurts to go into it . .

so what do i do ?

do i need a public message board at all, the reality is i don't, i am available by email or reddit nick, when i deal with people individually its easier. .

the basic problem with the public   board   has always been because of the way i feel the need to deconstruct the erroneous viewpoints, so thereʼs just this ongoing burden that i am now finding too damaging, people following their interests which are peripheral to mine, zakaj is an easy example because he is so clearly in the gabriel pradīpaka camp, totally bizarre but i am not in the business of remedying his mistake, this is it, people really have their own views and the energy required for deconstruction to keep this public message board sane is just too much for me !

so i am suspending the comments section in two or three days, after that i will permit comments as i feel suitable which at this point will only be people asking for contact information or having an important announcement !

so in effect this blog ceases to be a public discussion board . .

one of the factors in this decision has been observing blogs or facebook pages of people who give retreats and that sort of thing, they also have this issue of the discussion running away in directions that are negative for their reputation and quite involving if they care to step into the fray . .

so its just like a general issue and iʼm not into fixing the world at all if it were even possible ! :o)

sepehr  claims

robert aickman’s  “the hospice”  is very similar to  ‘ melancholia ’  in its theme

it's not really a horror story

i recommend reading it in full before judging it

i found its destabilizing effect to be much stronger than melancholia even

my

r e p l y

isnʼt it a rip off of thomas mann’s  ‘ the house berghof ’  in   “ the magic mountain ”  ?

i have a true horror story about  berlins  pub between inangahua and westport, middle of nowhere, looked ok

( that link is new buildings, its 21 years since i stayed there ! )

the barman was drunk, and a man and his date stayed all night at the bar with the music so loud that one couldn't even sleep with ear plugs !

“ destabilizing ”  doesnʼt even begin to describe it  !  :o)

the  final  paragraph of a post by zakaj

you had truly profound insight but unfortunately you havenʼt met an enlightened person yet so you have no way of clarifying those experiences and reasoning about your self properly

poetry cannot do that for you, you have to meet someone who achieved final liberation

my

r e p l y

when you get  “ final liberation ”  let us know and not before !

i wonder what your wifeʼs version of your getting drunk was since from experience i know you donʼt take responsibility for anything else !

“ the main thing is to learn about trika / kashmir shaivism under my guru ”

honestly in ten years you will still be at that stage, projecting into something that you havenʼt done !

karl ove knausgaard’s   vision   of a face in the sea !

that’s dai kensho, without reason or context . .  maybe he also would have preferred to be blind ! : o (

“ the pressure exerted by the blood causes the membrane of endothelial cells to cave in and grow into the cell's body, until a continuous vessel forms ”

jesus after all these years i think i have learnt to  w r i t e

i can tack this stuff out endlessly

since i was writing poetry before that leads to the interesting conclusion that poetry is not writing

: o )

i have been looking at karl ove knausgaard and there are a lot of similarities except i am more abstract, poetic and philosophical and less popular because of that of course . .

in the end celibacy is what suits me, however its not something we willingly approach, but rather its the clear path from the tangle of bad relationships  .  .

r e j e c t i o n

and brutal  h u r t

in the end celibacy is what suits me, however its not something we willingly approach, but rather its the clear path from the tangle of bad relationships  .  .

and brutal  h u r t

i have criticized reddit zen, brad warner and gesshin in this blog, what’s really sick is they make no mention of it

i know if someone commented adversely on me i would respond

some on reddit zen read this blog, i can see the odd subtle reference in their posting there . .

brad warner i have noticed previously has an atrocious habit of deliberately not reading anything   “challenging” for him, it makes him a brilliant subject in the sense of someone following their own track providing good material to comment on of course  .  .  :  o )

gesshin of course is a complex mix of intelligence and stupidity, most of our conditions btw ! : o ) (

but they filter reality and how people perceive them

they are doomed to remain ordinary toads in the slime i am afraid ! :o)

adam tebbe is another milksop, backbone of jelly and idiot to suit !

i suppose the reality is they are sick and damaged puppies while a tiger prowls !

if you get a bad stomach virus

any fruit should be pasturized

cut back on immune suppressing supplements like krill and fish oil and vitamin D

don't eat too rich

(scallops fried in butter  !  :  o )

chicken soup and broths are what they used to feed invalids

really bad viruses it can pay not to eat for several days and just lie in bed !

swallowing  (unpasturized?)  undiluted juice from freshly squeezed quality lemons is very helpful for gastro bugs !

there’s a lot of new research saying that sitting is a very significant health hazard !

i try to  get up and walk around every quarter of an hour now !

jason  w r i t e s

the good thing about conversation in writing compared to talking is that you have time to think about what you'd like to say

a  reddit   post

I'm an officer in the United States Navy

One time on my first ship, one of the lookouts called me and said he saw a green flare on the horizon

I asked if he was sure, if maybe he saw the sun glinting off the sea or maybe just a trick in his peripheral vision

He swore up and down that he saw it, that he wouldn't have mistaken it for anything else.  I didn't see anything on radar in that direction, but sometimes small wooden fishing boats don't show up well on radar

I called the Captain to report it and asked if he wanted to investigate further.  He said that we needed to get to our destination on time for the next phase of our mission and that we didn't have time to turn around

The sailor almost physically fought me when I told him we would press on.  He was that sure that he saw something Sometimes I wonder if it was nothing at all . . .  or if we left some stranded souls lost at sea

starlings on the power lines, notes on a somewhat staff !

starlings on the power lines

   staffed music notes  !

starlings on the power lines

staffed music notes

starlings on the power lines, music notes on a staff

starlings on the power lines, stemless crotchets

starlings on the power lines

stemless crotchets

starlings on the power lines, a sheet of music notes

stemless crotchets

starlings on the power lines, a sheet of music notes

the supposedly unique   style  of  karl ove knausgård  is actually a blog ,  its a bit like  ‘ fifty shades of grey ’ ,  a sleight of the hand or mind and an internet literary form has crossed over into the old fashioned world of book publishing !

it struck me that charles bukowski’s story of when he was living with jane and looking out the window of their apartment and seeing a man falling past having jumped to his death may be all that is known of that man now and certainly soon will all be that is known

and one thousand years hence this man will be more known than just about anybody of these generations . .

from   reddit

that sort of situation is good for what ?

developing fighting skills ?

what else ?

because of the contempt in which they all hold each other, for any semblance of sanity the subreddit has been forced into quoted zen records as its content, but this is just them following their christian cultural roots ,  “divine scripture”  so to speak and them being so stupid, indeed downright cretinous is the only way to put it, not to realise the voynichy nature of this  “scripture”  misrecordered, fictionalized and alienated by culture and time from a decipherable translation . . a literal  ‘ ship of fools ’  throwing mud pies and chinese fortune cookie confetti around  . .    ‘ waiting for godot ’  on steroids and retardation !

i think you have to go through it once, getting back together with the ex to   learn  that one break up is enough, it will never work getting back together again !

with the final breakup, you can dance a little jig, you have seen them truly, the mystique is gone and you won't fall in that trap/make that mistake again !

: o )

“ i don't think he ever goes too far, because he is just writing what he is writing from himself, you can never go too far, its infinite what you can say and what you can feel and what you can express, and so its never too far, its always  good and looking forward to more, whatever the content is it just gets further and further, but its not shocking, maybe more truthful and i like that ”

a well trained wife ,  linda  bukowski !

perhaps more insightful than anything charles ever said !

ask reddit, overseas travellers   post   about bad incidents and national features

jon  w r i t e s

seems there’s only a few people who try to understand the old patriarch

most just hate him

but theyʼll probably pick his bones clean when he’s dead

my

r e p l y

it always seems to be fairly straightforward to me, what this  ‘ work ’  is about, but the way people run or get abrasive and confronting when they address it is always disturbing !

young women are like flowers, all their effort goes into appearance to attract and enmesh the male so that they can then move onto their real business which is breeding and children  !

men too are designed to be enmeshed !

young women are like flowers, all their effort goes into appearance to attract and enmesh the male so that they can then move onto their real business which is breeding and children  !

young women are like flowers, all their effort goes into appearance to attract and enmesh the male so that they can then move onto their real business which is breeding !

women are like flowers, all their effort goes into appearance to attract and enmesh the male so that they can then move onto their real business which is breeding !

men too are designed to be enmeshed !

women are like flowers, all their effort goes into appearance to attract and enmesh the male so that they can then move onto their real business which is breeding !

women are like flowers, all their effort goes into appearance to attract and enmesh the male so that they can then move onto their real business which is breeding

in the end, if it turns out to your advantage ,  what can you say ?

in the end, if it turns out to your advantage  what can you say ?

in the end if it turns out to your advantage  what can you say ?

in the end if it turns out to your advantage  what can you say

ends

four serial

i always find dealing with people very painful ,  sitting there in their little boxes of craziness

my very act of talking to them upsets them !

i always find dealing with people very painful ,  sitting there in their little boxes of craziness

my very act of talking to them upsets them

i always find dealing with people very painful ,  sitting there in their little boxes of craziness

i always find dealing with people very painful ,  sitting there in their little boxes of  c r a z i n e s s

i always find dealing with people very painful

i suppose i could be like charles bukowski and sit down and write, but actually i don't write unless i feel I have something to say

like now

i suppose i could be like charles bukowski and sit down and write ,  but actually i don't write unless i feel I have something to say

i suppose i could be like charles bukowski and sit down and   write ,  but actually i don't write unless i have something to say

enlightenment is as painful as a relationship break-up ,  logically there has been a loss of context, but it sure doesn't feel that way

with enlightenment the context of reality has been lost but we have to live it ,  live the illusion   ̱   ̱    ̲    ̱

 its very painful 

bascially there is no  o t h e r   .   ̱

i wish i didnʼt have to go through this stuff !

blogs are solipsist !

that was a bit of a revelation to me, helps keep the boundaries up when i read others

thanks for that insight jon !

blogs are solipsist !

blogs are solipsist

enlightenment is like going into a movie theater, then realizing half way through, everything is real

when you go out  its still that movie and you canʼt escape

enlightenment is like going into a movie, then realizing half way through, everything is real

when you go out its still that movie and you canʼt escape

enlightenment is like going into a movie, then realizing half way through, everything is real

justin beiber has the same problem as elvis presley, getting swamped by and losing his identity to the  “hangers on”  within his sphere of influence !

sepehr  w r i t e s

When I think of Brad Warners's crew, I liken them as Wes Anderson movies.  They have a strong community but are afraid of solitude and being alone; they do not value their individuality apart from the community and cannot think apart from it.  When something threatens to destabilize their preconception, they resort to a kind of  “Big Other” wherein they share  (amongst each other)  key jokes, degenerate music, and etc. as a way to solidify their network or community

They are totally enamoured by the drama of the game show, afraid of being alone and exploring the phantasmagorical inner world

Now compare Wes Anderson's movies to Lars von Trier.  Lars von Trier shows insufficiency in being one with the crowd, in making one's views aligned with the crowd.  He shows depth in the individual character, in being alone by the river, lying and staring at the moon, dreaming worlds of one's own.  This solipsism scares those dumbasses on Brad's blog.  This deconstruction scares them, so they babble endlessly about thinking they know it, rather than letting the solitude of the crepuscular moon wash over their delusions

The 7th zen patriarch blog is like Lars von Trier's films whereas Brad's shit blog is Wes Anderson.  In here I feel constantly deconstructed, as if in a dream, my own thoughts flowing into me, creating new worlds from the dust of the old.  I fly like an opulent angel to worldʼs of indescribable colors, alone, here, for the crowd is but a fancy of delirium

slavoj  žižek   disparaging   wisdom

bit of a tour de force actually : o )

relationship breakups have no right and wrong ,  it is a partnership that has dissolved !

its the evaporation of the context !

relationship breakups have no right and wrong ,  it is a partnership that has dissolved !

its the evaporation of the context !

relationship breakups have no right and wrong ,  it is a partnership that has dissolved !

its the evaporation of the context

relationship breakups have no right and wrong ,  it is a partnership that has dissolved !

relationship breakups have no right and wrong, it is a partnership that has dissolved !

relationship breakups have no right and wrong ,  it is a partnership that has dissolved

its the evaporation of the context !

relationship breakups have no right and wrong ,  it is a partnership that has dissolved

its the evaporation of the context !

relationship breakups have no right and wrong ,  it is a partnership that has dissolved

its the evaporation of the context

relationship breakups have no right and wrong ,  it is a partnership that has dissolved

relationship breakups have no right and wrong, it is a partnership that has dissolved

if you are planning to add ram capacity, you canʼt guarantee you are getting exactly the same even if you buy the same sticks and actually the parameters of your original ram have already changed !

nothing sucks more than subtle memory problems, buying the same ram is safest, but no doubt heaps of substitutes will work, only you are exploring the possibility they don't match well over the life of the computer !

ram parameters degrade with time, with my initial populating purchase i buy a speed step above what they run at !

the cpu memory controllers run on heuristics which, the way they really work is no doubt a mystery even to their designers !

----------------------

god i can't believe it, the above was in reply to a  question  on reddit build a pc, the aspergers hubric who asked the question hassles me about having a sapce between the end of a word and a question mark

“ just so i know ” 

 u ug h h !

and the woman on about  *  pyschiatric and other meds on reddit medical who had me banned because i ponted out that those large combinations of medications aren't liveable and of themselves cause huge health problems !

a a r g g h ! : o(

i feel if i move the cockroachs complain

we go on to get new ones and

since our attention is on them

they never go !

we go on to get new ones and

since our attention is on them

they never go !

we go on to get new ones and

since our attention is on them

they never go !

they never go !

some wounds never heal, we go on to get new ones and think that the old ones are gone !

they never go !

some wounds never heal, we go on to get new ones and think that the old ones are gone !

some wounds never heal, we go on to get new ones and think that the old ones are gone

kyra nijinsky age 6  remembering  her father’s first committal

vaslav  dancing  in  the  ballet  he choreographed using claude debussy’s score !

estragon

how have you been doing ?

godot

just the usual, one mistake after another

estragon

# ! @

where i live

today, about 20 vintage rolls royces rolled past over the course of an hour !

not

the

way

to

go

not

the

way

to

go

brad

not

the

way

to

go

brad

its interesting to figure out zakaj’s  modus operandi ,  he wants his proxy system which he gets with gabriel pradīpaka where you can just go to sleep and donʼt have to make any changes, but unfortunately for him  (zakaj !)  and what differentiates him from the mass of inane schizophrenic  “seekers”  is he has a very strong sense of what is authentic to the point that even he canʼt really fool himself about that dreary wet arse pradīpaka and so is drawn back to the 7th zen patriarch  blog  !

well he can play that game in his own time and not mine ! : o)

 a break up is a wound that never heals  !

 a break up is a wound that never heals  !

a break up is a wound that never heals

being open to dissenting opinions is part of lifeʼs development !

being open to dissenting opinions is part of lifeʼs development

being open to dissenting opinions is an important life skill to develop !

being open to dissenting opinions is an important life skill to develop

overweighting quotes and  “life guidances”  are a form of magical thinking that backfires scarcely before the reading has finished !

overweighting quotes and  “life guidances”  are a form of magical thinking which backfires scarcely before the reading has finished !

the web is full of  wise quotes ,  but when you read the lives of the people who made them, you take the quotes with a pinch of salt !

the web is full of  wise quotes ,  but when you read the lives of these people who made them, you take the quotes with a pinch of salt !

the web is full of  wise quotes ,  but when you read the lives of these people who made them, you take the quotes with a pinch of salt

when you read the lives of these people you take the   quotes  with a pinch of salt, or a barrel loads in the case of buddha who is a fictitious person and a rather sententious bore at that !

i was thinking that writing was inherently solipsist because it takes you along lines that further yourself whereas if one relies for social feedback on direction this takes you in an  anti-solipsitic  —  communal  direction !

i was thinking that writing was inherently solipsist because it takes you along lines that further yourself whereas if one relies for social feedback on direction this takes you in an  anti-solipsitic  —  communal  direction

sepehr  wr i t e s

why do you use schizophrenic as a pejorative ?

many schizophrenics have incredible   artwork

my

r e p l y

very interesting video thanks !

“ why do you use schizophrenic as a pejorative ? ”

there are a number of dimensions to that question and its answer, perhaps the most significant of which is the way i am using the word as a  perjorative ,  that is intentionally as  perjorative ,  not entirely literal as the people i was insulting  ( interviewees and rick on ʻbuddha at the gas pumpʼ )  would not be regarded as schizophrenic, rather schizophrenia offers characteristics which when singled out and looked at ,  they exemplify  !

however, taking your question more literally, ian mcgilchrist  (how apposite a name for one of his profession !  : o )  favours the word  ʻpsychoticʼ  for an  overall picture compared to  ʻschizophreniaʼ

that is ,  when he says schizophrenia ,  he means it as a subtext to psychosis !

there are other elements and what characterizes the buddha at the gas pump grouping is a singularly dumbed down and insightless intelligence !

jon  states

i think andrew wants to be featured on buddha at the gaspump

my

r e p l y

they wouldnʼt have me and rick banned me from his message board !

what i find interesting about buddha at the gaspump is its a huge amount of volunteer work by rick, but all he seems to get is the world’s flakiest schizophrenics

if rick was interviewing me we wouldnʼt get past a few words . .

jason  writes   (26/2/16,  new york)

round 2 stomach virus, same week

this bitch I delivered to  (pizza!)  was on her cellphone outside when I pulled in, whining  “ I just can't deal with stomach viruses blah blah ”

I tried to keep my distance but I guess that isn't enough

my

r e p l y

people just have no sense of quarantining themselves these days !

keep to small changes, the road ahead is more apparent that way, big changes can put us in the mouth of the crocodile !

keep to small changes, the road ahead is more apparent that way, big changes can put us in the mouth of the crocodile

a question to ask is  “ is one able to be in certain situations without being permanently damaged ”  ?

the question to ask is  “ is one able to be in certain situations without being permanently damaged ”  ?

the question to ask is  “ is one able to be in certain situations without being permanently damaged ”  ?

this is the  truth  about cancer, it is never cured, only put into remission !

equally applicable to most health stuff, remission is a much better way of looking at things rather than cure !

i never paid much attention to popular music in my teenage years, its interesting now to put names to songs that one sort of imbibed with the culture of the time and really how intelligent and talented some of the singers and songwriters were, quite different from their stage and public personas, david bowie for one

maybe grace slick wasnʼt that different from her public image  : o )

i wa surprised to come across linda  rondstadt  who now has parkinsons in this well known  song  written by mike nesmith

everything is uncertain, things that can appear bad can turn out good and things that appear to be good can turn out bad !

everything is uncertain, things that can appear bad can turn out good and things that appear to be good can turn out bad

brad warner is very resistant to jesus being a fiction, i think that is because it would explode as illusory the life he is living, that of a hagiographical construct, that of the zen master !

brad warner is very resistant to jesus being a fiction, i think that is because it would explode as illusory the life he is living, that of a hagiographical construct, that of the zen master !

brad warner is very resistant to jesus being a fiction, i think that is because it would explode as illusory the life he is living, that of a hagiographical construct, that of the zen master !

brad warner is very resistant to jesus being a fiction, i think that is because it would explode as illusory the life he is living, that of a hagiographical construct, that of the zen master !

what is the fundamental rationalization for ex   nocontact  ?

the   “ no contact ”   addresses the schismic shift in relationship whereby your  “ ex ”  or once partner has fundamentally shifted priorities, themselves and their new partner and not you

you of course are just fuel to burn for them, do you understand that ?

to cling to what was and no longer is is depressive behavior, the simple rule of no contact saves one from being fodder for another’s life, no matter what the personal tendencies !

though i'm writing to you, i'm also writing to myself  !

though i'm writing to you, i'm also writing to myself

jon  writes

i've been thinking about that for a few days now

isn't that what it is though, being fed up with being a mediocre wasteball that's just taking up space

being fed up and actually doing something about it ?

my

r e p l y

you are proxying into developing remedying conceptual systems

there are no  “right”  answers or conceptualizations or even questions or views . .

you are not addressing the validity of the solipsist viewpoint

there is only small adaptive changes and the metas/abstractions that naturally arise from that

what you are doing is trying to develop the metas without enough real world experience from the small adaptive changes . .

do the changes and get the experience and the metas will slowly build and put you hopefully into a better space, that’s what ove knausgaard is really about

though iʼm writing to you, iʼm also writing to myself

there is no world before you there is no world after you

there is no world before you

there is no world after you

the solipsist viewpoint

there is no world before you

there is no world after you

there was no world before you there is no world after you

there was no world before you

there is no world after you

the solipsist viewpoint

there was no world before you

there is no world after you

jon  writes

Iʼm just a filthy fucking kid who needs to grow up

my

r e p l y

i donʼt feel that leads anywhere !

just falling for the world’s bullshit, you need to have a sense of your own superior validity !

brad goes to the conscious life  expo ,  i read buddha at the  gaspump ,  an idiot under every stone !

brad goes to the conscious life expo, i read buddha at the gaspump, idiots everywhere !

i feel like my life is just the unfolding of one mistake after another and I can't understand until i fully unfold each mistake !

i feel like my life is just the unfolding of one mistake after another and I can't understand it until i fully unfold each mistake !

god  “pure land”  is a lot of pompous mindless bullshit !

zakaj they don't come any dumber, you and your religious tourism ! : o(

god  “pure land”  is a lot of pompous  mindless  bullshit !

zakaj they don't come any dumber, you and your religious tourism ! : o(

----------------------

pure land is basically a non mystical paradgim !

95 percent of modern art on the market is just bullshit, its all just a con game created by the auction houses secretly underwriting the prices

did i mention damien hirst ?

95 percent of modern art on the market is just bullshit  its all just a con game created by the auction houses secretly underwriting the prices

audio

giovanni bernini’s   “ the ecstasy of st.  teresa ”   is actually a depiction of sexual intercourse !

t

y

p

i

c

a

l

c

a

t

h

o

l

i

c

c

h

u

r

c

h

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his   bust  of his sometime lover costanza bonarelli has a rather marvellous sensual quality !

didn't they have some sort of coloured filling for the eyes ?

he was also responsible for the  piazza  san pietro

giovanni bernini’s   “ the ecstasy of st.  teresa”   is actually a depiction of sexual intercourse !

typical catholic church !

giovanni bernini’s   “ the ecstasy of st.  teresa ”   is actually a depiction of sexual intercourse !

typical catholic church

bernini’s   “ the ecstasy of st.  teresa ”   is actually a depiction of sexual intercourse

typical catholic church

audio

the shimmering moonlight makes all the rivers and hills at peace

the long breath of the wind is the voice of autumn in earth and sky

linji yixuan/ rinzai gigen

joshu said  :   if you follow what i say be sure to do the work, if you don't follow what i say, you will live as a normal human being, birth in the east, dying in the west !

joshu said  :   if you follow what i say  be sure to do the work, if you don't follow what i say, you will live as a normal human being, birth in the east, dying in the west

joshu said  if you follow what i say  be sure to do the work  if you don't follow what i say  you will live as a normal human being  birth in the east  dying in the west

v1

v1p1

joshu stated   “ if I cannot cure my own disease, how could I cure those of others ? ”

the monk replied   “ then there is no one I can rely upon.  what should I do ? ”

joshu replied   “ if you rely upon me, tread heavily upon the earth.  if you do not, go east, west  —  go wherever you please ”

my re-translation of joshu's reply

joshu said :   if you follow what i say  be sure to do the work, if you don't follow what i say, you will live as a normal human being, birth in the east, dying in the west !

joshu stated   “ if I cannot cure my own disease, how could I cure those of others ? ”

the monk replied   “ then there is no one I can rely upon.  what should I do ? ”

joshu replied   “ if you rely upon me, tread heavily upon the earth.  if you do not, go east, west  —  go wherever you please ”

“ intelligent design ”  while roundly dissed in anti-religious circles is in fact a response to the major problem of evolution, that the complexity of biological systems cannot be accounted for by itself alone !

however horizontal gene transfer and learning theory whereby the process of continual adaptation also generates directional genetic structures for the actual evolution of organisms  does  !

i feel like life is just the unfolding of one mistake after another and you can't understand it until you fully unfold each mistake !

i feel like life is just the unfolding of one mistake after another and you can't understand it until you fully unfold each mistake

the weird thing about david  bain  that i have never seen mentioned is he  lived in new britain and port moresby, papua new  guinea  from ages 2 to 16 !

that’s the most formative years, there must have something in that that  socialized  or predisposed him to  “family annihilation”

so schizophrenia from his mothers genes and probably low sunlight during his gestation in dunedin as the most significant factor and a socialized violence from his formative years in new britain and port moresby !

the school at which his father taught had excessively  violent  essays by the pupils, this fooled me at first as it pointed to robin as the murderer, how else do you explain that at a school where he was the sole teacher, well the socalization factor explains it differently, that robin had acted as an unwitting coach to david !

click on the photos to get full size, they are very good !

jason  w r i t e s

I haven't felt right drinking any flavor of nesquik, so I'll just have to get over the binge

my  reply

binging and addiction is always a sign of a problem with the food or drink !

lol, when i was   posting  on reddit zen i used to beat the shit out of them

thank god i eventually saw i was wasting my time, turds just splatter when you hit them ! :o)

reddit is well known for its mass stupidity ! :o(

just opinionated suburban drudges really, no experience of life beyond malls, drugs, alcohol and work !

recriminations have meaning in the context of a relationship since they may modify future behavior, once the relationship breaks up, the context goes, the ex has to be dealt with as you deal with others, too intrusive just gives grief, best to let go  . .

i think that is the hard part, to walk back down the road of intense involvement to the sternness of being relative strangers, we are just not designed for t h i s  . . : o (

recriminations have meaning in the context of a relationship since they may modify future behavior, once the relationship breaks up the context goes, the ex has to be dealt with as you deal with others, too intrusive just gives grief, best to let go  . .

that’s the standard preaching trick, always using some-one else’s materials and nary an original thought of their own  !

a quote by søren kierkegaard

they understand me so little that when i tell them they do not understand me, they do not understand

audio

patience is necessary, one cannot reap immediately what one has sown

søren kierkegaard

so basically zen and christianity and other religions are all entertainment, the theatre of avoidance  !

so basically zen and christianity and other religions are all entertainment, the theatre of avoidance !

so basically zen and christianity and other religions are all entertainment, the theatre of avoidance

so basically zen and christianity are all entertainment, the theatre of avoidance !

so basically zen and christianity are all entertainment, the theatre of avoidance

entertainment is the theatre of avoidance   ! 

entertainment is the theatre of avoidance  !

entertainment is the theatre of avoidance !

entertainment is the theatre of avoidance

brad warner’s much self promoted translation of a line of eihei dogen  “donʼt be a jerk”  doesnʼt have the right connotation

is my re-translation is

‘ donʼt be a miserable bastard ’

 this miserable bastard says  ‘ get it right brad ! ’

hydrogen bridge tunneling energies and hence the  properties  of water can be changed by electromagnetic fields from 25 hertz to 10 gigahertz

who are you

who am i

who is blue

who are you

who am i

who is blue

who are you

who am i

who is blue

who is the sky

who are you  who am i  who is blue  who is the sky ?

who are you  who am i who is blue  who is the sky

audio

the universe is in four dimensions

if it was in five, then   this  can happen !

singularities can form outside the black hole !

this is what my work is about, the formation of these !

most women are unable to take an overall view and will certainly disrupt yours if they can !

: o (

women are unable to take an overall view and will certainly disrupt yours if they can !

: o (

women are unable to take an overall view and will certainly disrupt yours if they can !

women are unable to take an overall view and will certainly disrupt yours if they can

women are unable to take an overall view and will certainly disrupt yours if they can

thatʼs much better   writing ,  more aggressive and your own self !

that itself is the explanation, you don't have to  ‘meta’  it, which as you point out sounds wrong !

i notice this a lot, just about anything the moment they start metaʼring it, they are fucked, real doers live in a different non meta mode !

you can do it or you can talk about it or you can both do and talk about it if the talking is also the doing of it, idiots like reddit zen just see the talking and think that's it so they spend their time in wanking fruitless imitation totally rejecting any notion that the talking is also doing ! : o )(

i did not gradually  learn  reflection, i am reflection from first to last

the hardcore zen blog, escapist  fantasy ,  why doesnʼt brad see the problems ?

heʼs bound up in in syntheic reality, movies, appalling music and nostalgia

not a good advertisement for zen i am afraid !

now, little ship, look out

beside you is the ocean :  to be sure, it does not always roar, and at times it lies spread out like silk and gold and reveries of graciousness

but hours will come when you will realize that it is infinite and that there is nothing more awesome than infinity

nietzsche always   depresses   me because of his horrible last y e a rs  . .

jason  w r i t e s

dave was telling me about julian pölsler’s  film   the wall   when i was at his place in massachusetts

it reminds me of a story i wrote while in middle school, we were asked to write an ending to   the giver  by  lois  lowry

well my ending was that the main character escapes the utopia community he was trapped in, goes through some tundra plains only to be greeted by an invisble wall that he's not able to go through

the teacher said he didnʼt understand, so i changed it to an invisible electric wall that would shock you if you touched it, and was impossible to get around

still he didn't get it he said, years later this teacher went on to get a ph.d

my  c o m m e n t

for sheer stupidity and  anti-creativity  you cannot beat a philosophy or english literature Phd !

college/university education has by and large created a vast pool of the educated  anti talented  that wreck/wreak their foul idioacy all over the current arts s c e n e  . .

the current system teaches then to like rubbish and reject depth !

p r e t e n d e r s a l l ! : o (

you know when the 3am moon has set its gone !

you know when the 3am moon has set its gone

you know when the moon has set its gone !

you know when the moon has set its gone

you know when the 3am moon sets its gone !

you know when the 3am moon sets its gone

you know when the moon sets its gone !

you know when the moon sets its gone

a  21st century man   talking   (video one third of the way down the page)  to a hadza boy who is a living representative of a hunter gather culture possibly going right back to the earliest homo sapiens ,  700,000 years ago ,  he seems quite recognizable to me !

god,  psychedelic  dick suckers, they literally shake with orgasms as they write and compliment each other ! : o (

its really bad news when you step out to help some-one else with no benefit to yourself !

this benefit can be reasonably subtle like just gaining experience handling a certain situation or working through the raised material . .

its really bad news when you step out to help some-one else with no benefit to yourself !

people try to make sense of zen from the wrong perspective

the perspective is screwed so they only generate rambling

people try to make sense of zen from the wrong perspective

the perspective is screwed so they are only going to generate rambling

you are trying to make sense of something from the wrong perspective

the perspective is screwed so you only generate rambling

you are trying to make sense of something from the wrong perspective

the perspective is screwed so you are only going to generate rambling

its hard to make sense of zen without a wide range of quality reading

it really is something quite specific, that is a celibate chinese mystical tradition in the tang and sung dynasties in china, also in medieval japan

this western  “zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance”  “buji”  meiji zen is just total bullshit and if you look at the old zen records, they are mostly a very few people who understand what it is about shooting down the hundreds of useless idiots who think they know it all

the way zen gets used now is a form of minimalism, just ignore the vast resources of quality literature, philosophy, art and our own cultural religious histories  - - -  they ignore all that and just blather clichés

what can you do, they all suck each other’s dicks . .  count me out ! :o)

joshu was asked   “ where is your mind focused ? ”

he replied

where there is no intention

a good selection of books is available on  undernet   #bookz   @search  whateverhere

sepehr recommends the firefox reader for ebooks, html is ok and to avoid word format !

karl ove knausgaard is  solipsist

for, while previously i saw time as a stretch of terrain that had to be covered, with the future as a distant prospect, hopefully a bright one, and never boring at any rate, now it is interwoven with our life here and in a totally different way

were i to portray this with a visual image it would have to be that of a boat in a lock :  life is slowly and ineluctably raised by time seeping in from all sides

apart from the details, everything is always the same

and with every passing day the desire grows for the moment when life will reach the top, for the moment when the sluice gates open and life finally moves on

at the same time i see that precisely this repetitiveness, this enclosedness, this unchangingness is necessary, it protects me

on the few occasions i have left it, all the old ills return

how one reddit zenner lives, at least as of a year ago !

“  my primary home is a cave in the desert canyon near moab, utah

it has a tear-drop shaped opening, part of a crevice in a cliff wall

I cover it with plastic in the winter and it stays fairly warm even without fire

but I built a little wood heating & cooking stove out of a large tin, with connected cans as a flew, which takes the smoke out a small hole conveniently above the entrance

just a couple small sticks will cook a meal and make the cave warm and toasty

the cave is very stealth, hard to find, and doesn't even look like a cave even when youʼre close by

the entrance is south-facing, high on a ledge, meaning it gets sun most days in the winter

I can sunbathe naked up there in the dead of winter while the temperatures are frigid in the canyon below as well as in town!  ”

150  retreats ,  an average of 6 a year, a golf club subscription would have been cheaper and of more value to him  !

one just stares open mouthed in amazement at these over confident idiots wasting their time in this way !

i think that’s the thing about  the wall ,  you want things to be different, but you just can't  fucking  do anything !  : o (

i think that’s the thing about the wall, you want things to be different, but you just can't  fucking  do anything !

i think that’s the thing about the wall, you want things to be different, but you just can't  fucking  do anything !

i think that’s the thing about the wall, you want things to be different, but you just can't do anything !

i think that’s the thing about the wall, you want things to be different, but you just can't do anything

watching an ex have a good time and enjoying herself has a literal  “ kick in the guts ”  feeling, miserable bastards we are !

when i get depressed/ i get depressed when i think of all the mistakes in my life, however breaking up with this ex was not one of them !

there's the weirdness of being celibate and there’s always this breakup hanging over you/me since there will be no new relationship to displace the old one

i really know life sucks from first hand experience because i traverse all the “ it sucks ”  junctions, a really fucked way to live . .

watching an ex have a good time and enjoying herself has a literal  “ kick in the guts ”  feeling, miserable bastards we are !

watching an ex have a good time and enjoying herself has a literal  “ kick in the guts ”  feeling, miserable bastards we are

flamenco ,  you can be too good at something ,  better than professionals, puts you in a weird space ! : o (

“  sugar is not converted en masse to triglycerides.  less than 5% of the fat stored in your body is the result of de novo lipogenesis

excess carbohydrates means less dietary fat is burned and more dietary fat is stored

your body will strongly prefer to store fat in the face of excess calories, as fat storage costs about 3 calories per 100 calories stored while de novo lipogenesis costs about 23 calories per 100 calories stored  ”

this  campaign  to bring cardinal pell back to australia to testify in person to the royal commission exemplifies new social and technological trends

crowd funding, you tube/internet publishing, changed social attiutdes, publicity by promoting a social justice cause . .  and the debasement/decline of the catholic church . .

when i was in western australia and visited the catholic monastery orphanage at new norcia  (where they have a very good  museum )  the pedophilia in the church’s past there was obvivous

i wonder of the interest in running missions for aborigines was in fact due to a certain level of cultural acceptance by aboriginal cultures due to families being by themselves in the desert for long periods of time ?

interestingly i notice in myself a certain acceptance or expectation of pedophilia from the era when i was a teenager and younger and formed most of my attitudes  (60’s, early seventies) ,  that such a thing was bound to occur because why would anyone get involved in the sort of youth oriented charity work they did if they weren't motivated that way ?

the church was once protected by attitudes within the controlling media like newspapers and tv but with the internet that lid has been flipped off and there is a direct route from the offended parties to the public !

distance running aka sustained aerobic exercise gives the greatest  promotion  of brain trophic factors !

zen, neo-advaita/nonduality are just stupid ,  pushy, aggressive losers ! : o (

the more i think about, experience and reflect on celibacy the more i realise you can never get the required stability in the  relationship  ―  married  ―  + kids state !

the more i think about, experience and reflect on celibacy the more i realise you can never get the required stability in the  relationship  —  married  —  + kids state !

the more i think about, experience and reflect on celibacy the more i realise you can never get the required stability in the  relationship  –  married  –  + kids state

the more i think about celibacy the more i realise you can never get the required stability in the  relationship  ―  married  ―  + kids state !

the more i think about celibacy the more i realise you can never get the required stability in the  relationship  —  married  —  + kids state !

the more i think about celibacy the more i realise you can never get the required stability in the  relationship  –  married  –  + kids state

if you have a stomach ulcer ,  the stomach wall is exposed through it so the proteolytic enzymes afp-peptizyde and bromelain will be a problem !

if you have a stomach ulcer ,  the stomach wall is exposed through it so the proteolytic enzymes afp-peptizyde and bromelain will be a problem

i'm starting to get worried ,  like fernando pessoa i can write suitcases full, trunks even !

i'm starting to get worried ,  like fernando pessoa i can write suitcases full, trunks even

when i look at all the marketing people like brad warner and jeff foster do, it seems like a lot of trouble for little reward !

it's interesting to compare the zen style of brad’s retreats with jeff’s more  “holiday”  style, he has the clear lead financially over brad as he leaves the accomodation cost separate as per what is available at the retreat and charges a substantial  “ teaching fee ” whereas brad has to share the fee out of what is left after all the other retreat costs are covered with two others !

lisa cairns at least has the sense to make her retreats holidays though she could talk less !

i suppose since they are doing the marketing via facebook, blogs and websites it doesn't cost them anything except their time  ̱     ̱  .

the problem with retreats with  “ teachers ”  is they usually fuck you up with their nonsense as the semi-solitude and  “ non doing ”  puts you into a suggestible state, i am still ambiguous about having ever got involved with zen with the years it has taken me to untangle myself out of the bullshit !

my problem is without the stored knowledge of the zen records and even the sort of parallel understanding within the zen culture i would probably never have been able to break out of the conventional and erroneous socially received mindset i was in, yet what i reformed with was a toxic tubulent mixture of bullshit and authenticity that has taken me twenty years to sort out !

i thought i was writing this for others to read but but it turns out i was   writing    to myself !

i thought i was writing this for others to read but i was writing to myself !

i thought i was writing this for others to read but it turns out i was writing to myself

i thought i was writing this for others to read but i was writing to myself

writing is targeted at whoever can make sense of it !

writing is targeted at whoever can make sense of it

i don't know why but reddit zen and the hard core zen blog work wonderfully for me if i don't post ,  i have occasionally been tempted to but experience has taught me to  absolutely not  post !

i wonder if my earlier involvement with them changed things so they upped their game  ?

i don't know why but reddit zen and the hard core zen blog work wonderfully for me if i don't post ,  i have occasionally been tempted to but experience has taught me to  absolutely not  post !

we are all the product of an extinct species, homo heidelbergensis

there is nothing surer than this species will become extinct !

we are all the product of an extinct species, homo heidelbergensis

we are all the product of an extinct species

there is nothing surer than this species will become extinct !

we are all the product of an  extinct  species

when i look at charles bukowskiʼs list in  ‘ so you want to be a   writer  ’ ,   there isnʼt one item that doesnʼt check out, yet i donʼt think of myself as a writer, but hyperlexic caught in a trap of endless seeking and processing of knowledge !

but i sort of have an  “ anti writer’s ”  block ,  so much pours out its painful ! :o()

good poems though, the stuff i really value and maybe include a few homilies in that only come occasionally . .

as i say i am starting to feel trapped . . i donʼt like the outcome for this sort of w r i t e r  . .

shit in this life and a posterity of leaches on oneʼs writing . .

using UVB to make vitamin  D2  (ergocalciferol)  out of ergosterol in bakers yeast, same principles in this  patent  as my experiments with using my homebuilt UVB lamp on mushroom slices !

i think i  agree  that ergocalciferol made this way is poorly absorbed, but my experience with mushrooms was that very large amounts of ergocalciferol were made in very short periods of illumination !

hmm, bakers yeast is  non-proteolytic !

some of the lactic acid bacteria enzymes  (proteases)  in sourdough are though !

“ the large use of chemical or baker's yeast leavening, which does not allow any partial degradation of wheat polymers  (e.g.  proteins)  during food processing ”

“   malinche   helped provide further proof

she had befriended a woman in town, the wife of a leading military officer

one day, the woman approached malinche and told her not to accompany the spaniards when they left as they would be annihilated

instead, she should stay and wed the woman’s son

malinche tricked the woman into thinking she had agreed, then brought her to cortes.  after questioning the woman, cortes was convinced of the plot

he assembled the city’s leaders in one of the courtyards and after accusing them of treason  (through malinche as interpreter, of course)  he ordered his men to attack

thousands of local nobles died in the cholula massacre, which sent shock waves through central mexico  ”

another pivot point of history, an interesting   read  !

its fascinating the way Toxoplasma Gondii gets past the blood brain barrier to infect neurons !

it doesn't fool the immune system ,  present forged passes etc. ,  it simply sets  a bomb  against the epithelial wall and explode it and in the breach gets through !

this is a bit weird to read, a self built  illusion  about a life in  NYC  as a comedian . .

a sense of belonging to  d u s t . .

usefully   misogynist  ! : o)

“ No Contact, which I started, seems like the easiest thing she ever did, while it's so hard for me

Posting this  here  just so I don't tell her and regret it later

I guess I expected her to say something now and then, but it feels like I'm not even on her mind, ever

After  8  years of relationship she broke it up, and I started No Contact shortly after because talking to her hurt me sometimes

Not a word from her though after over a month of  NC,  she is completely over me to the point of not feeling any need of checking up, after all these years loving each other

I suppose I should take this as a reminder that she broke up precisely because she didn't want to talk anymore, and that  NC should be an opportunity for me to get better, regardless of what she feels . . . .  but it's hard to stomach that I was just completely abandoned like this ”

my

r e p l y

just imagine phoning her, she answers, on the other side of the room she is in is a boyfriend, she looks across at him and puts her fingers to her lips going shhh!

she is now ready to answer you

sorta puts you off  doesn't it ! : o )

take the time of no contact and the longer the better to let life drive you both your separate ways

let her call you and when you reply, be guarded !

there is a  religiosity  in the  “bad quarto”  antithetical to what we know of sir henry nevilleʼs attitudes that makes me think that the work is a plagiarism of his play !

you can’t persuade people out of madness !

you can’t persuade people out of madness !

you can’t persuade people out of madness !

you can’t persuade people out of madness

if you look at giorgione’s painting  “ the adoration of the shepherds ”  and strip away the religious meaning, the real picture is quite different, joseph is in fact a grandfather and the shepherds are the father with perhaps his brother and they are all bonding with the new baby !

that must be the real   genius  of giorgione, to make scenes true to life with some sort of mythological or religious veneer !

the trouble with women is it takes a certain madness to raise children

they’re all mad  meataxes  !

the trouble with women is it takes a certain madness to raise children

they’re all mad meat-axes !

the trouble with women is it takes a certain madness to raise children

they’re all as mad as hatters !

the trouble with women is it takes a certain madness to raise children

they’re all as mad as meat-axes !

the trouble with women is it takes a certain madness to raise children !

the trouble with women is it takes a certain madness to raise children

just because you can get involved in something doesn't mean you should  !

just because you can get involved in something doesn't mean you should  !

just because you can get involved in something doesn't mean you should !

just because you can get involved in something doesn't mean you should

shakespeare’s works, are of course english history according to the nevilles, that one is a bit hard to get around, the intransigence of the academic world to conceding sir henry neville as the true author is indicative of  s o m e t h i n g

the retardation of university arts academica !

well philosophy is there too, dumb d u m b  m o r o n s ! : o ) (

the stone retaining   wall  and steps are better than the stupid memorial !

maybe the sculptor had to get committee approval, i can't see any individual making that abortion !

:

o

(

he claims its better in moonlight !

barbara, you are aging well ! : o)

isnʼt this  a  s c r e a m  ?  :o)

I    II

she was married with three adult children, i wonder how her husband felt ?

your wife is having an affair with the pope !

if we lived forever

life would make sense

as  it

is

it

doesnʼt

make

sense

an interesting   commentary  on the renaissance painting  ‘ la tempetsta ’  by  giorgione

cut down in his prime by an outbreak of the bubonic plague  ! : 0 (

if we lived forever ,  things would make sense

but since we donʼt

nothing  d o e s

if we lived forever ,  things would make sense

but since we donʼt

nothing  d o e s

if we lived forever ,  things would make sense

but since we donʼt

nothing  d o e s

if we lived forever, everything would make sense

but since we donʼt

nothing  d o e s

do you ever get the feeling you are performing a volunteer service without much reward ?

do you ever get the feeling you are giving a volunteer service without much reward ?

the trouble with art is it doesn't have a common vocabulary to accelerate progress

the trouble with religion is its blinkeredness, incredibly banal taste and incipient population of morons

the true middle way is somewhat between them !

the trouble with art is it doesn't have a common vocabulary to accelerate progress

the trouble with religion is its blinkeredness, incredibly banal taste and incipient population of morons

the true middle way is somewhat between them

the trouble with art is it doesn't have a common vocabulary to accelerate progress

the trouble with religion is its blinkeredness, incredibly banal taste and incipient population of morons

the true middle way is somewhat between them !

the trouble with art is it doesn't have a common vocabulary to accelerate progress

the trouble with religion is its blinkeredness, incredibly banal taste and incipient population of morons

the true middle way is somewhat between them

the trouble with art is it doesn't have a common vocabulary to accelerate progress

the trouble with religion is its blinkeredness, incredibly banal taste and incipient population of morons

the true middle way is between them !

the trouble with art is it doesn't have a common vocabulary to accelerate progress

the trouble with religion is its blinkeredness, incredibly banal taste and incipient population of morons

the true middle way is between them

the trouble with art is it doesn't have a common vocabulary to accelerate progress

the trouble with religion is its blinkeredness, incredibly banal taste and incipient population of morons

the true middle way is between them !

the trouble with art is it doesn't have a common vocabulary to accelerate progress

the trouble with religion is its blinkeredness, incredibly banal taste and incipient population of morons

the true middle way is between them

leather, metal, wood, interchangeably,    whatever    made the form  !     

4 : 00

how to tear/  b r e a k  your medial collateral ligament !

what this is about i think is it is basically battle practice and the development of a fighting champion !

you think you can trust some-body ,  then it turns out you can't trust them

people always follow their perceived self interest

you think you can trust some-body ,  then it turns out you can't trust them

you think you can trust somebody, then it turns out you can't trust them

sepehr  writes/asks

what do you think of tom hennen’s   poetry  ?

read the poems available in the preview.  they give me a  ‘ sparking ’  feel kind of like your poems.

if I ever become famous, which I doubt, I’ll be sure to mention how much of an influence you've been on me, so that way you could publish your work like tom hennen and make a decent sum of money

my

r e p l y

you know what strikes me about tom   hennen  ?

there’s space and time . .

----------------------

sales of tom hennen will be like brad warner, barely covering the cost of printing !

writing is like raising children, all financial deficit and some illusion of continuity !

you know what strikes me about tom   hennen  ?

there’s space and time . .

to mix philosophy and politics is a disaster area !

to have people see where they are going is not conducive to certain types of successes !

to mix philosophy and politics is a disaster area !

to have people see where they are going is not conducive to certain types of success !

sepehr  a s k s

in your opinion, what are the best roman stoics ?

epictetus, seneca, or aurelius ?   what are your opinion on those three guys ?   thanks

my

r e p l y

    seneca   !

i've been doing a bit of reading on the cuban missle crisis and it had always seemed to me that the risk of nuclear war was overblown, that those at the top would never risk themselves and their families in such a way, but after this reading my view is different !

the problem is not with the president and first secretary, but that the local military command develops a degree of automony as for example in the near firing of a nuclear torpedo from the   B-59   or the destruction of a U2 over cuba on a decision by a soviet commander not authorized to make such a decision !

“ it was at that very moment  —  not before or after  —  that father felt the situation was slipping out of his control ”  khrushchev’s son sergei wrote of the  U2  downing

initiation and retaliation develops a mind of its own and thankfully khrushchev was intelligent enough and had the war experience to become spooked !

alaine de botton on   kintsugi

i am trying hard to think about this  post  of brad warner’s and how to look at it simply and i think the simple way is he is adding the wrong way

same with the  ʻmonksʼ  kogen and his wife who now have a baby at tassajara which must be a huge wake up call about life mismatches for both . .

the beauty of celibacy is you can fluff around with your life and there is comparatively limited consequence for others

brad has a daughter, yet his efforts have been put into in trying to sort a friends marital and financial problems out  (eliciting a strongly adverserial response) ,  well ,  as the saying goes, a mote in another’s eye and a plank in our own . .

in contrast  gesshin  who i think lives the celibate life to a large extent, while lurching through a lot of bad or maladaptive decisions seems to come clear and move on in a manner that the more traditional zen and chʼan monks and nuns as per the older records must have done

its when you have dependents that things become fatal as that misintepreted zen story of the life of layman pang  s h o w s  . . 

that is a good post of brad’s and he makes a point that i have often thought about and not seen mentioned elsewhere, that overweening confidence and hubricity we always seem to show when we intially embark on matters quite outside our experience . .

but gesshin is a bit of a stupid bitch and brad has a somewhat generous intelligence, i guess we are all faced with the problem of adding skills and understanding in our weak areas, yet we really donʼt see those areas at all which is perhaps why relationship and marriage to to a person who helps us balance up so to speak may be the preferable life path for most ?

shortcuts the problem with an already in place solution . .

but is also an alienation from the sort of understanding that zen is truely about

well the tragi-comic pastiche of life. . . .

brad it sounds to me like  “rick”  could have some sort of metabolic issue like prediabetes leading to a very mild dementia, when the behavior is uncharacteristic like that, there’s some sort of change you can do nothing  a b o u t . .

its a great problem in dealing with people who are older, they look the same but internally they are not, yet we react with the same patterns we have learnt in childhood or earlier days with them . .

if you donʼt fit anywhere, what do you do ?

if you donʼt fit anywhere, what do you do

jon  w r i t e s

  I think I just want an end to all this but . . .

there's no end, no beginning

just motion ?

jason writes

art and literature is so much more beautiful

babbling religious bullshit i never got into

jason writes

art and literature is so much more beautiful, babbling religious bullshit i never got into

i've had a conversion experience, the failure of my life  .  .  :  o  (  )

i've had a conversion experience, the failure of my life  .  .  :  o  )  (

i've had a conversion experience, the failure of my life  .  .  :  o  )

i've had a conversion experience, the failure of my life . .

as we go through life we continually generate alot of loose ends, to make sense of life we have to tie up the loose ends . .

the problem is we never get the time to do that and actually its a somewhat recursive process, tying up loose ends generating more loose ends, especially if its done in a fake way like religion, zen, nonduality, neo advaita . .

do art and literature tie up loose ends ?

or are there seeds of endless new inquiry left over and everything spins off into another infinite regress and in fact is not life like that ?

as we go through life we continually generate alot of loose ends, to make sense of life we have to tie up the loose ends . .

the problem is we never get the time to do that and actually its a somewhat recursive process, tying up loose ends generating more loose ends, especially if its done in a fake way like religion, zen, nonduality, neo advaita . .

as we go through life we continually generate alot of loose ends, to make sense of life we have to tie up the loose ends . .

the problem is we never get the time to do that . .

as we go through life we continually generate alot of loose ends, to make sense of life we have to tie up the loose ends . .

“ if you think about it, the low density of natural ice protects the water below it; if it were denser, water would freeze from the bottom up, and no living species could survive

so mother nature's combination is just so  perfect  ”

a  benefit  to living in the country ?

less exposure to a human pathogenic enviromental microbiome ?

i know going to town after a couple of weeks pretty much by myself really knocks me around, i notice myself being  “ out of it ”  within an hour of being in town !

i was brought up in a very rural area, maybe cities have never suited me ?

a monk asked joshu, what is unadulterated infinity ?

joshu replied, that is a good question !

a monk asked joshu, what is unadulterated infinity ?

joshu replied, that is agoodquestion !

a monk asked joshu, what is unadulterated infinity ?

joshu replies, that is agoodquestion !

i have a self-destructive sentimental streak, taken me a while to see it !

i have a destructive sentimental streak, taken me a while to see it !

i have a self-destructive sentimental streak, taken me a while to see it !

i have a destructive sentimental streak, taken me a while to see it !

i have a self-destructive sentimental streak, taken me a while to see it

i have a destructive sentimental streak, taken me a while to see it

all i seem to go through is extreme learning experiences !

all i seem to go through is extreme learning experiences !

: o (

all i seem to go through is extreme learning experiences !

all i seem to go through is extreme learning experiences

fuck off !

waste your time, donʼt waste mine !

fuck off !

waste your life, donʼt waste mine !

fuck off

waste your time, donʼt waste mine

fuck off

waste your life, donʼt waste mine

excessively  butch  ! man a whole subculture there !

a caricature really !

can't say i like her sculpture, but she has a point  “ bound energy ”  a very gay paradigm, reddit zen from my experience !   [5:00]

the tension coil of sex without the bleeding of reproduction, r/childfree as well !

honestly, i can't understand the modern art scene, money for junk and anti-aesthetic and there’s a claim human intelligence is increasing

well its a good game/con for money  and all the  bullshit  talked about it, pro’s for sure . .

to be fair nancy is very personable and has the artist’s mindset, there’s definitely alot of maternal/sex drive there . . i donʼt say gay is any less right than breeding . . just a very difficult tension driven paradigm/mindset . .

thanks for the insight nancy ! : o)

there is something to dan flavin’s work, quite theological really and writing costs rather than pays, that sort of scuplture is financial at least !

yeah, its an odd thing aging

its an odd thing aging

thereʼs actually quite a bit to think about . .

he  died  early february 2015, from kidney, ulcer and sepsis problems ?

wow, still has his  instagram  page up, also a sorta obituary reddit  thread  !

more  background  !

can you call some-one  a butcher of feelings

even if its true ?

can you call some-one  ‘ a butcher of feelings ’ 

even if its true ?

can you call some-one  a butcher of feelings

even if its true ?

the  “blinkeredness”  of religion only makes sense if you exclude art and literature as they are generally a more sophisticated discussion of the same subject matter . .

yeah  “constructed enlightenment”  this is what they all do, build some sort of picture of what they think is involved and peddle it afterwards forever . .

its truely schizophrenic because it is of no practical utility to them at all . .

its interesting about forgiveness, i donʼt think you forgive or forget for good reason, but you can move to a more functional space where logic rather than emotion rules . .

people make mistakes, but the trajectory won't differ, caution and not being too negative are spaces to move forward . . i n t o ! ?

xyz  w r i t e s

need to tell you before i forget, been hearing voices myself, less when i'm alone and more when i'm at work or playing soccer a mix of compliments and insults, and yes they can be subtle often quiet when i was younger it could even be shouts, usually my mother screaming my name when no-one was home, but all the time i shrug it off

last year after some friends left my house i heard someone run up the stairs loudly and then down again but no-one was there

but yeah more quiet and subtle, usually with the voice of people that are in the room

----------------------

i went through a couple of months of listening to voices while at tassajara and afterwards

----------------------

especially during soccer i can tell it's just me, where i will hear  “good shot”  or  “bad pass” ,  it's just my own opinion

my

r e p l y

that will be the bad diet and viral enviroment at tassajara !

the voices are you, or your brain, but there is an interconnect problem between some parts or functions, will be a combination of developmental and nutritional problems

also the failure of the  “ default network ”  of the brain to shut down, like   “ day dreaming ”  going on when it shouldnʼt be .

marius romme makes the point that the characters and content are going to reflect our preoccupations and traumas, in effect the substance of the default circuit and very deep life traumas/failures/themes !

since you think you know better/ in your opinion than me, why go out of your way to talk to me !?

again and again i get these idiots who think they know better than me    ̲    ̲    and go out of their way to tell me how right they are and how wrong i am    ̲    ̲    ̲    

i am happy to never talk to them again but they are unhappy if they donʼt talk to me again   ̱  ̱  .

they seem to be totally unaware or at the least  not disconcerted  by their claim to know better than me and their need to talk to me which is a subconcious need for my approval   ̲    ̲    ̱    

i think the problem with  ‘ voices ’  and the problem the general public and pyschiatric profession has with them, is it challenges their sense of reality, the apparent division of self and identity no longer a p p l y . .

i think the problem with  voices  and the problem the general public and pyschiatric profession has with them, is it challenges their sense of reality, the apparent division of self and identity no longer a p p l y . .

i think the problem with  ‘ voices ’  and the problem the general public and pyschiatric profession has, is it challenges their sense of reality, the apparent division of self and identity no longer a p p l y . .

let’s not talk about visions ! : o )(

superior acoustics, amplification, layering, reverb, the list of advantages of the electric compared to the ordinary violin are endless . .

I   II   III   IV

when i think of brad warner and the hardcore zen blog and reddit zen, they are people with artistic or/and philosophic pretensions that have never truely got onto the road they pretend to

the whole manner of dealing with them has shown they are utterly incapable of dealing with the subject matter in rational discussion, they are so tangled in conflicting self-hubricity and what they are discussing, its just a tangled nightmare . .

i think most people are like this when they come to art and philosophy . .

when i think of brad warner and the hardcore zen blog and reddit zen, they are people with artistic or/and philosophic pretensions that have never truely got onto the road they pretend to

the whole manner of dealing with them has shown they are utterly incapable of dealing with the subject matter in rational discussion, they are so tangled in conflicting self-hubricity and what they are discussing its just a tangled nightmare . .

i think most people are like this when they come to art and philosophy . .

when i listen to   this ,  i wonder that performers donʼt take more liberties with the original score, truely turning what must have sounded different on quite different instruments into something that touches the space of  ‘ infinity ’  more ?

in this perfomance i got a hint of something quite different and superior, but i guess that fusion of a composer and performer that can deliver that is exceedingly rare !

sepehr  w r i t e s

I think   childlessness  ultimately helps one have more time to read good works and write.  It's kind of essential

My play is taking longer than expected.  I've been reading, researching, and getting solitude a lot, and I have been constantly refining and editing the play.  I will finish a draft for you to read by the end of March, and I want to send it in for a competition in April

Act  II  is based more on my dreams and personal experiences whereas Act  I  is more historical with contemporary relevance

My wife is illustrating a children story I wrote, but that one is more mere entertainment to secure stable income in the future

jason  r e p l i e s

I'm starting to see where Andrew is getting the idea of you going in circles

idk if you want to share, but I'd like to read your play as well

my

r e p l y

he could become famous and you and i will be  ‘ has beens ’  or  ‘ never beens ’  in fact on some lunatic fringe of association! . .

he has written one play which was quite good, the medium must suit his style of attention, i think the  “ homily style ”  suits you and me more . .

i can't get into the sustained intensity that writing a screenplay, novel or play requires, maybe its just a skill i have never developed, i donʼt know . . ?

the past cannot be rewritten as the present !

geraldine  w r i t e s

tears are chains to the past.  When loss becomes opportunity ,  grief is redundant

my

r e p l y

 the past cannot be rewritten as the present !

the past cannot be rewritten as the present !

if you are going to be childless, then i think you need to produce something, writing, a work of art, some other intense activity, charity even, whatever is your bent . .

because society is so negative on childlessness as you being a person lacking w o r t h

you need something that you can rest your self esteem in

there are a few poems i rest my self esteem in . .

reddit zen and the hardcorezen blog are a mix of drugs, heterosexual and gay childessness and of course a few with children, a lack of artistic talent is a theme, brad warner  (lol again !)  is like that, meandering around in some void of writing and musical incompetence . .

all looking for something without the brains or diligence to pursue making something worthwhile in lieu of not having children . .

nothing so  stupid  as some-one won't  do it   !  :o (

actually   water walk   is quite fun !

a bit like these pages in a way  ;o)

the mountain   photography   is brilliant, the alan watts execrable and the fall line skiing probably can only be done for a four or five year period of these young people’s lives, some years to get to a sufficent skill level and then only so many years of sufficient flexibility, muscle strength and co-ordination remaining !

“ why does the universe exist ? ”

“ why does the universe exist ? ”

 what does it means to ask  ‘ why does the universe exist ? ’

“ why does the universe exist ? ”

 what does it means to ask why does the universe exist ?

“ why does the universe exist ? ”

“ Chris, I donʼt know if you read the comments on this at all but I thought you'd appreciate this story

I have a profoundly disabled four year old who cannot stand or talk yet

When I play   this   a look of bliss comes over her face and she starts dancing, nodding her head in time and clapping

Nobody has told her that Bach is posh so she just completely rocks out and gives herself over to the music ” 

if reddit zen has a purpose, it is to keep the talentless at each others throats and off the throats of the talented ! :o)

if reddit zen has a purpose, its to keep the talentless at each others throats and off the throats of the talented ! :o)

reddit zen is intrinsically a charade of masks !

you can elect not to wear a mask, some do, but in the end ,  like in real life you will always be outflanked by those with masks !

reddit zen is intrinsically a charade of masks !

you can elect not to wear a mask, some do, but in the end, like in real life you will always be outflanked by those with masks !

reddit zen is intrinsically a charade of masks !

reddit zen is intrinsically a charade of masks

i have always noticed how hard it is to get satisfactory translations of poems, ezra pound’s and david hinton’s  translations  of this li po poem seem inadequate to me so i have done my own re-translation . .

ezra pound

  ‘ the jewel stair’s grievance ’

the jeweled steps are already quite white with dew

it is so late that the dew soaks my gauze stockings

and I let down the crystal curtain

and watch the moon through the clear autumn

david hinton

‘ jade-staircase grievance ’

night long on the jade staircase, white

dew appears, soaks through gauze stockings

she lets down crystalline blinds, gazes out

through jewel lacework at the autumn moon

i must admit seeing such a ho hum translation by pound makes him a lot less intimidating . .

anyway my version  (without title)

walking out

the steps white with dew

my stockings wet

no-one there

back in my room

the crystal curtain floods down

my loss makes the moon beautiful in the

clear

autumn air

the scientists say they have found  no thirty year periods  in the last two thousand years that have exceeded the mean average European summer temperature of the years from 1986 to 2015

benign and adverse climate  conditions  for agriculture have everything to do with the rise and fall of empires !

the severity of the justinian  plague  is like something out of science fiction !

ezra pound reading  (1967)   from canto  LXXXI

“ master thyself, then others shall thee beare ”

pull down thy vanity

thou art a beaten dog beneath the hail

a swollen magpie in a fitful sun

half black half white

nor knowst thou wing from tail

pull down thy vanity

how mean thy hates

fostered in falsity

pull down thy vanity

rathe to destroy, niggard in charity,

pull down thy vanity,

i say pull down

reddit zen, they are learning spanish when they are trying to speak russian

i was thinking how to put it in clear terms, like they are going the opposite way to what they should be going was like a little abstract for them ?

real life zen is the same, this woman monk/nun    I  II    at the mt. tremper monastery died recently after a year’s illness from intestinal/colon? cancer ,  but really she was wasting her time being a monastic!

so people waste their time and lives and it only ends when they die !

99.99%  of the time i am afraid !

years ago doing a retreat at the southern star cistercian monastery at kopua in new zealand ,  the plain concrete graves of the monks who had died there made a big impression on me, something really stupid and sick about the mass production nature of them . .

shugen’s  obituary  for this woman is the same i think !

mindless pap for a monastery life of mindless pap !

“ pull down thy vanity, I say pull down ”

from ezra pound’s canto  LXXXI

“ pull down thy vanity, I say pull down ”

dr. richard carrier explaining the  origins  of christianity as a highly syncretic jewish  “savior”  cult

“ all translations are interpretations ”  !

jason  w r i t e s

st. philip, do you think it's his   tomb  ?

where do you think the term  ‘apostle’  came from if they weren't direct followers of a living jesus ?

my

r e p l y

the gospel of philip was certainly not written by him or the legendary persona, its  pseudepigraphical

the term “apostle” is actually  ἀπόστολος  which is ancient greek going back many thousands of years before the supposed birth of christ ,  just means  ‘ messenger ’

paul was an historical person, some of the epistles were definitely written by him but his  “ christ ”  was a jewish archangel, not a historical  ‘ jesus ’ 

philip was likely mostly myth, maybe there was an early missionizing christian who went by that name, no remains has been discovered at hierapolis that might be him  (though the relics could have been moved) ,  imo  since hierapolis was a spa town, they just dressed up the myth and built the temple complex as a more effective tourist trap which judging from the wear on the stones of the steps in the temple complex, it certainly was !

you should really do some research instead of just picking up naïve opinions uninvestigated, that's a real zakaj trick !

there is no evidence for an historical philip at all, these legends usually come into being as a combination of stories of different people and made up stuff, anybody who was being crucified upside down and had the offer to be released but chose to remain there is an obviously made up episode

it's actually fundamental that jesus, muhammad and buddha are fictions because if they weren't, then that would imply something about the world that is at a minimum in the sphere of reincarnation and a literal physical god and things just simply do not work that way and this is really what zen is about, this almost failed reconciliation of an  ‘ unseen ’  motive force behind reality and reality itself, its there, its not there etc . .  ! : o ( )

“ in the image of the seal there is an emblematic element :  a lamp hanging at the entrance, typical signs that served to indicate a saint’s sepulcher

hierapolis

home  video  of walking around the tomb ruins

skeptical theism  is a voynichy response to voynich !

‘ god ’  is voynich ,  as you start so shall you finish !

skeptical theism  is a voynichy response to voynich !

‘ god ’  is voynich, as you start so shall you finish !

skeptical theism  is a voynichy response to voynich

‘ god ’  is voynich, as you start so shall you finish

skeptical theism is a voynichy response to voynich

‘ god ’  is voynich, as you start so shall you finish

‘ global workspace theory ’  enables me to say that animals have phenomenal conciousness !

i donʼt know why this has been so open to dispute, it's pretty obvious from observation !

in addition, recent research is showing than many supposedly unique human cognitive traits are also there in other primates, animals and some birds !

jason  writes

i was laying in bed months ago when i had an urge to raise my hand, was looking at it and a purple octahedron appeared in my hand spinning

my  r e p l y

iʼm gonna give a sort of   “ interpetation ”

purple is charles bukowskiʼs favourite colour, its a sort of high energy colour with both danger and creativity, more male than female. .

now the octahedron itself is a bit unusual, sorta a blend of a more basic levels of brain function with some cognitive input/modification

spinning is autistic

i would say you need to be very careful of your health, particularly brain health !

its basically hypnagogic but has more to it, maybe a bit prophetic, who knows ?

lol, look what big breasts get you !

can even james packer  afford  her ?

she certainly knows how to spend !

to be fair to her, she is on autistic spectrum,  workaholic ,  has difficulty in setting boundaries and may even be somewhat manic depressive . .

packer seems to be very typical of second or third generation extreme wealth, just a bit boring and stupid . .

well, donʼt women make us all stupid  ?

sad   ! : o (

actually the  great purge  was driven by nikolai  yezhov  and so extreme that russia was being rendered dysfunctional and in the end yezhov got executed himself !

i often wonder genetically what the effect of this sort of selective elimination has been, the more intelligent portion of the population, i suppose it pales compared to the degree of deaths in entire generations of young russian/soviet empire males in world war II

stanely kubric, obsessive   attention  to detail

the gospel of  philip  is clearly  written  after paul as it refers to a literal supposedly historical jesus which paul never did . .

i think gnosticism is a closer fusion of the literary with conventional religion than is usual

doomed because it was a bit too sophisticated for the brutal powermongering and compulsion of ruling elites . .

the  tunnel  complex at baiae is likely a  ploutonion

these past religous belief systems, taken so literally by people are like visiting an alien world . .

of course the common theme of stupidity is not so alien ! : o (

it only takes a couple of paint chips to substantially increase the blood lead level

although the CDC has established the reference level at five micrograms, they're not saying that five is safe

lead poisoning often is not noticed, because it can be subtle 

initial symptoms may include fatigue, lack of motivation, poor coordination, and problems with speech and language

the above  quote  is by marilyn howarth, a doctor at the center of excellence in environmental toxicology at the university of pennsylvania

“ mice with a single concussion temporarily lose 10 to 15 percent of the neuronal connections in their brains, but no inflammation or cell death resulted

with three days rest, all neuronal connections were restored

studies have shown that almost all people with single concussions spontaneously recover, but athletes who play contact sports are much more  susceptible  to lasting brain damage ”

talent is uneven, it can be uneven within a talent or across talents . .

what gives utility is consistent quality within a talent, consisent quality across talents is asking a bit much of life !

sushi is everything that is wrong with japanese culture !

xenophobic, mercury laden, packaged in an indigestible polysaccharide !

no wonder they lost the war !

sushi is everything that is wrong with japanese culture !

xenophobic, mercury laden, packaged in an indigestible polysaccharide !

sushi is everything that is wrong with japanese culture !

sushi is everything that is wrong with japanese culture

what people ignore about julian assange is he is both a traitor and murderer, that's for real . . !

the net doesn't seem real, but information posted on it is a highway into the real world !

 convergent  evolution ,  one hundred and forty five million years and a species between them !

we donʼt have to deal with one another except for the practical matters  so if we just stick to the practical matters then we don’t have to deal with one another

we donʼt have to deal with each other except for the practical matters  so if we just stick to the practical matters then we don’t have to deal with one another

we donʼt have to deal with one another except for the practical matters  so if we just stick to the practical matters then we don’t have to otherwise deal with each other

audio

if people donʼt want to  know ,  you can't tell them, so you can spend all your life on reddit zen or in other ways in real life trying to tell them

you are just entertaining them and conferring some slight benefit of rationality to them

that's the point of one’s own blog, people come to you if they are interested and it saves fruitless involvement with disputative types . .

jason  a s k s

where does your style of shikantaza differ from  ‘ silent illumination ’  ? 

is it the reading that you advise  ?   to not get stuck in one's own schizophrenic fantasies ?

my

r e p l y

i suppose  “silent illumination”  which is a translators phrase is actually  “grunt zen”  in modern linguistic currency ,  brad warner's  “ sit down and shut up ”  !

particularly a dogenesque/soto thing !

i use the word shikantaza to describe what i did when i was involved with formal zen and when i initially sat i found the notions of  ‘following the breath’  and koans infantile and actually following the breath for any length of time can be dangerous imo

so what it evolved into for me is really just a sort of decompression or processing, in fact i am not really doing anything, its sort of a weird and strange skill that develops, i can't even really explain it . .

unlike the current zen scene where just about 99% of people passing themselves off as teachers are just plain wrong minded screwballs

brad warner is perhaps the best example of what you are asking about, talented and had some sort of genuine enlightenment experience but has the great weakness of very limited interests and reading and its just killed him, some pathetic mediocrity floating around trying to recreate some zen master/center success of the past

i'm not a fan of sloane crosley’s fiction, it lacks something, but listening to her reading the autobiographical   story   “ the height of luxury ” ,  its like totally different, compelling

friedrich dürrenmatt    interview

not a computer game, poor kid ,  killed  by the idiocy of those supposedly  ‘ on his side ”  !

sepehr    writes

everything is falling into place

my

r e p l y

 the place keeps moving !

sepehr  w r i t e s

everything is falling into place

my

r e p l y

the place keeps moving

sepehr  writes

everything is falling into place

my

r e p l y

the place keeps moving

“ everything is falling into place ”

 the place keeps moving !

“ everything is falling into place ”

the place keeps moving

“ Everything is falling into place ”

 the place keeps moving !

“ Everything is falling into place ”

the place keeps moving

in my view, you took advantage of a rather  naïve  and very  autistic  man  !

in my view, you took advantage of a rather  naïve  and very  autistic  man

in my view, you took advantage of a rather naïve and very autistic man

in my view you took advantage of a rather naïve and very autistic man

“ at the core of all bad relationships or cults is one single thing

  unreciprocated  loyalty ”

“ at the core of all bad relationships or cults is one single thing

  unreciprocated loyalty ”

a book   video   much better than the book !

humans are a crude sexual animal, overwhelmingly mendacious !

humans are a crude sexual animal, overwhelmingly mendacious

i can go to sleep for an hour and not be concious of going to sleep or waking !

i can go to sleep for an hour and not be concious of going to sleep or waking up !

i can go to sleep for an hour and not be concious of going to sleep or awaking !

whenever i get one of these random charity phone calls my brain desperately starts to work, how am i going to get out of this !

sorta like a crossword puzzle really ! : o )

whenever i get one of these random charity calls my brain desperately starts to work, how am i going to get out of this !

humans are a crude sexual animal, overbearingly mendacious !

humans are a crude sexual animal, overbearingly mendacious

 who are you ?

who am i

who is the moon

  who is the sky ?

 who are you ?

who am i

who is the moon

who is the sky

who are you

 who am i ?

who is the moon

  who is the sky ?

who are you

 who am i ?

who is the moon

who is the sky

who are you

who am i

who is the moon

  who is the sky ?

who are you

who am i

who is the moon

who is the sky

jason  w r i t e s

i wonder if andrei tarkovsky was poisoned, his diagnosis was lung cancer, but both his wife and an actor that participated in his films were poisoned as well

my

r e p l y

asbestos exposure and smoking is a death ticket as john loori found out !

the sadness of andrei tarkovsky’s life is all that   work   which would have given him a nice life as he got older and the films became better known and then to be cut down like that . .

stalker         I    II    III

meditation, sometimes i sit in a chair, sometimes i walk around the room, generally i lie in bed for half an hour when i wake . .

i could just as well title the post below as  ‘ couples fornicating truth into falsity ’  !

when i look at the insanity of the  buddhist shit  on the web..

 they really donʼt get that the so called buddha is science fiction . .

comfy couples screwing truth like it is a sexual stimulant ? 

jewellery says a lot about a woman, what their tastes are and the sort of person . .

donʼt fold the legs when sleeping, always sleep with straight legs !

donʼt fold the legs when sleeping, always sleep with straight legs ?

donʼt fold the legs when sleeping, always sleep with straight legs