this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed  !

let’s see an  mri  of your brain then !

ed.  of dillon’s claims to have his whole body intact

you really really fucked yourself, stuck in a paperbag you can’t see your way out of !

ed.  dillon complains i view him as subhuman

i didn’t deliberately damage my brain did i ?

so, you’ve become  gollum ,  better head for the mount of doom shouldn’t you ?

just your usual  drug trip  ?

why would i want to change your mind ?

toxic people like yourself deserve to stew in their own stupidity !

its taking another into that cesspool i object to !

how accurate  is this  about DMT, looks boring wacko to me !

let’s not talk about permanent brain damage !

aliester crowley

a poem of roykan’s posted by planetbyter

this world

a fading

mountain echo

void and


my  reply

sorta fake if you ask me !

planetbyter  replies

i didn’t ask you

my  reply

 lol, you just did !

this world


the don’t asks

 ask !

you will speak to me again because fakes are always drawn to harass truth

dillon you’re a pot damaged idiot passing the time pretending you have real understanding !

drug culture is drug culture, you reek of its bullshit, don’t play the innocent with me !

you’re a pot damaged idiot passing the time pretending you have real understanding !

toni packer  who knew philip kapleau well said the enlightenment stories in the three pillars of zen were made up !

i heard her say this

the book made him a lot of money, its pop culture crap really !

some guy in therapy for anxiety and depression asks for advice on the zen retreat he has been advised by his therapist to go to

my  reply

zen itself is nothing but a bunch of retarded depressives so you will be at home !

given that retreats can make people suicidal or accentuate mental illness, if you were honest about your condition to them they won’t allow you to attend !

just swallow your pills and get diseases from the side effects is the true way now !

zen never allows mentally ill people to attend retreats !

they just get crazier !

°       °       °       °       °       °       °       °       °

all the recent research shows that exercise is a huge benefit and likely a reason for retreats being potentially dangerous to depressives because of the enforced inactivity !

the evolutionary reason for exercise so instrumentally improving depression is that the brain grows because it was of benefit during the actual hunting and gathering

too much exercise is also a problem as is joint injury

cold showers, dipping in ice water, infrared exposure, saunas and rolling in the snow and sun skin exposure all generate a heat shock response which lengthens telomeres and rationally excites the immune system

lack of sleep literally physically damages the brain

r|zen, the final rest home for the drug brain damaged

fakes can only copy and get it wrong



How can anyone pass through the Gateless Gate if they can’t get past the Whatever Gate ?

what gate to where ?

zen is nothing but idiots worshipping nonsense

to a mountain hermit

it was so cold this morning and maybe the white frost jogged my memory, i thought of you gathering firewood by the stream, perhaps you are warmer than i but its a hard cold up there and i hope you are managing !

temicco  dribbles

 Have you read Tilopa’s six words of advice ?

Don’t recall.

Don’t imagine.

Don’t think.

Don’t examine.

Don’t control.


my  reply

“ Don’t recall ”   you recalled

“ Don’t imagine ”   well he got that right, you have no imagination, btw what happened to it, drugs ?

“ Don’t think ”   like why did you post then ?

“ Don’t examine ”   yeah i would say that’s you

“ Don’t control ”   you are a complete control freak

“ rest ”   yeah i’d give your crazy bullshit a rest if i was you !

“ .   .  pretends he is also a poet who is up on all the psychiatric research ”

wot ?

not a poet ?

schizophrenic, narcissistic, BPD, hallucinogenic, psychosis, PTSD, autistic, aspergers, semantic-pragmatic disorder   .   .   .


 give up !


a poem by ikkyu

the spring mountains covered with layers of most variegated colors

and the spring streams fancifully laden with the reflecting images

standing by himself between heaven and earth

facing infinitude of beings

my reworking

the hills in spring

covered in blossom

catching sight of myself in a stream

i feel suspended



real life  catch-22

“ I want to get up in the morning, do a good hard day’s work, eat a good meal at a good family table, say hello to neighbors, shoot pheasants, walk out through a pretty field of spuds, drive to town through the snow  .  . ”

killed over vienna, december  1944

dunning-kruger  before the term came into being !

i’d like to see some philological exegesis when a medieval chinese meaning is discussed technically !

an ikkyu poem

woodcutters and fishermen just know how to use things

what would they do with fancy chairs and meditation platforms ?

in straw sandals and with bamboo staff, i roam three thousand worlds, dwelling by the water

feasting on the wind, year after year

my reworking

rustic folk have functional furniture !

what use do they have for the effete ?

just getting by

i travel by walking

bill porter  translates  the phrase  “ gateless gate ”  as meaning a person has seen through the world, so there is no gate any more !

i like this better than the name - antonym pair

ed.  i  posted  the above as an OP on r|zen and it attracted suprisingly virulent responses indicating various idiots were disconcerted by the notion the translations are not the bedrock of meaning they suppose them to be !

also i think they found bill porter’s wide poetic and literary interests upsetting !

what i like about this translation is it obviates the notion of  “ gate ” ,  like shift the perspective and its a false problem that disappears !

what’s enlightenment ?

its understanding how the world really is

“ what’s enlightenment ? ”

its understanding how the world really is

popular music is a feel-good anesthetic !

brittany is stuck at a  “ pop culture ”  intellectual level !

popular music is a feel-good anesthetic !

listening to music is consuming some-one else’s thought, its not your own

no wonder today’s generations are awash in stupidity !

jason, you are projecting, as usual   .   .   .

you don’t understand the gap between an idea and competence

you are projecting, as usual   .   .   .

you don’t understand the gap between an idea and competence

there’s only one per generation at the most who understands what zen is about, maybe a handful since huineng

the fermi paradox is not a paradox

there’s actually a very low probability for communicating civilizations, but a high probability for life

the claimed observed dyson spheres have all been disproved, or rather proved to be natural phenomena !

the universe is  “ vast ”  but the problem is that even that is not enough to render the chain of events for a long lived communicating civilisation possible !

the fermi paradox is not a paradox

there’s actually a very low probability for communicating civilizations, but a high probability for life

lucian of samosata recounts the life of  peregrinus

ewk, you don’t seem to grasp that the word  ‘ zen ’  is in the public domain, in this case soldiers  on psychedelics  perceive the oneness of things and so are   “ zen ”  and don’t fight   .   .

its just one use amongst many, you seem under the illusion you can defeat public domain use and keep the word to your conscription !

WW2 was fought on amphetamines, the germans in the siege of stalingrad were so drugged they died from too little fat on their bodies

the speedy invasion through the ardennes was only possible with amphetamine use

similarly the defenders of the battle of britain

interestingly the island of lesbos really was famous for lesbians from sappho to  lucian  !

i was reading some bodhidharma history and its very interesting how these hermits lived close to patronage !

lol like a kilometer from the emperor’s palace !

jason writes that brittany seems to have herpes outbreaks pretty often

ed. the supplements she uses are all immune stimulants !

yeah, bad luck for her and it can fuck the brain to !

she’s a real mixture of races and this can give a very uneven immune system which in her case doesn’t tamp herpes simplex very well !

hybrid breeding can translate to a greater cancer risk as well !

the plus side is there is greater vigour and possibly intelligence !

the huge amount of energy the body uses when its cold compared to warm is taken from the energy it puts to fighting viruses etc !

not to mention the advantages of heat for iron suppression and enhanced circulation

musicians seem to be much more susceptible to addiction, behavior and judgment problems than more   “ normal people ”

it turns out their brains are developmentally different and even amongst their own  specialties  !

yamamoto tsunetomo never fought in battle in his life !

just all poncy fake, this crap about samurais, most were were murderous bandits as far as i can see !

japan paid dearly for this bullshit cult in WW2 fighting a real enemy and not books !


study japanese history, the real samurai culture is medieval and long gone by the time of tsunetomo

rape, pillage, torture and plunder is the historical reality !

well the plus side of your sort of samurai which is waving a sword around in a dojo is that gritty stuff is avoided !

I know my brother also does some form of meditation but when I try I just make like a story in my head and its not like a blank thought, its elaborate and I think I’m doing something wrong

the story is the running of your brain in  “ default mode ”  and when you look at the stories you realise they are your basic patterns of motivation !

for instance with me, i am  “ fixing ”  situations so they are my idea of better which i am told is a pretty basic male pattern !

so it will make you more aware of yourself

that’s one side, the other side is the  “ mystical contemplative aspect ”  and for that you have to do   quality reading

solitary walks in beautiful surroundings is the best and most rewarding  “ contemplation ” 

i see people recommending r|meditation, but in my experience they are all schizophrenics or ex alkies or addicts on that subreddit

the addicts on r|zen don’t think they have a problem !

i am pretty ADHD myself, i don’t medicate, what helps is doing a lot of writing and as i say read quality so the brain turns over useful stuff, not populist crap !

the real point of zen which is what i have written above is to solve the mystery of life, but when you do that you will find the world basically lies about what it is and what is involved !

this is what my writing is about, life is like some manic barely caged tiger always about to eat you, except we usually suffer the indiginity of being slowly nibbled to death by aging

several people couldn’t understand why i asked this question on the r|zen AMA

“ How do you feel drug use impacts zen ? ”

its because a lot of drug use is taken to be  “ zen ”  particularly psychedelics

the question is actually neutral but in my view drugs have two effects that are antithetical to zen

1.  they create a narcissistic solipsism

2.  they are completely deficient in and trash the cognitive basis of visionary experiences

meditation equals solitary contemplation, there’s nothing really more to say about it except its a voyage of discovery !

missionizing fixed viewpoints is its antithesis, why people do this, i do not know !

i asked someone if i was the only one who questioned general knowledge and wisdom.  that so many value them.  i guess you too ?

people are very ignorant i find and become anxious if the blinders are removed

what made you first question knowledge and wisdom ?

everything has always been a question, the problem is putting enough time in to examine things sufficiently to move beyond the herd’s opinion

i had the buffet dinner at the RSA, not many people there and a blind girl with her boyfriend came in and sat at the table next to me

for some reason i was really emotionally tuned to her, her difficulty with life and just doing anything

i started crying

later i drove along the coast and climbed up a steep hill and just looked out at the sea for while until it got too dark to stay and climb down safely !

my writing is a puzzle, it appears simpler than it is and has to be unwrapped and explored

i was talking to the lady in the health shop and i was looking for taurine which helps with migraine, i asked her if there was anything in the air as i had a tickle in the back of my throat since coming to town and she dead seriously told me it was chem trails so i mentioned my neighbour who is staying up in tweed heads at the moment so close to the airport flight path she can smell the kerosone !

do you think what you eat has an effect on your brain and the way you behave ?

do you think what you eat has an effect on your brain health and the way you behave ?

a neighbour of some years back who was a moderate to heavy drinker now has age-related macular degeneration

he also had quite high radon exposure as a cave tour guide

we all get a disease as we get older




we all get a disease as we get older, its called aging

wisdom is bullshit too !

wisdom is bullshit

marzia is female pink and brittany is female blue, i think pink is safer

well its in the news that the new zealand PM jacinda arden is pregnant so i wrote her an email  (i don’t know her)

title  :  jetlag causing developmental problems in unborn children

any  serious disruption  of the circadian rhythm has negative flow on effects for the yet to be born child

also pregnancy wants to be reasonably stress free

mobile phone radiation also can have an effect on the rapidly dividing cells of the fetus, you will be too young to know the problems of magnetic fields from the old fashioned crt monitors affecting pregnant women

rather odd to write what i think is an important email and never know if it it reaches you !

brad warner could have been a  “ fire monk ”  it was one of his big mistakes not doing it !

if you are gay why not have sex with buddha ?

if you are gay why not have sex with buddha

“ I have sat with the Buddha himself on the Grand Lotus Blossom and have sipped tea with Bodhidharma. There is no beginning and there is no end ”

i danced with hitler and fucked marilyn monroe !

so ?

so the truth got flushed out from the posturing ?

you’re a rather pathetic poseur ?

so the truth got flushed out from the posturing ?

when people deflect they give themselves away, there’s a spiked pivot, they will not touch !

when people deflect they give themselves away, there’s a spiked pivot they will not touch !

sōtō zen is defeated

but from the dismal swamp arises  ōbaku zen

its founded by chinese priests and must be fairly authentically chinese, yet doesn’t look that different from soto or rinzai, they are of the same religion, but don’t seem to vary as much as christian sects ?

what is the r|zen obsession with invalidating real life zen?,  something to do with their armchair rests being ruffled by a wider world than r|zen ?

watch out! its cannae all over again, the massed r|zen center is pushing in, but the sōtō infantry are falling back and the ōbaku cavalry is on the wings wreaking devastation !

so much of later japanese,   chinese  and russian history has its origins in the  boxer rebellion  !

outside the circle controls the circle

inside the circle is contained by the circle

outside the circle contains the circle

inside the circle is contained by the circle

outside the circle controls the circle

outside the circle contains the circle

inside the circle is contained by the circle

  being a princess  is universal, regardless of race !

photograph and composition by   athi-patra ruga

even the cats blackmail me, they won’t let me out the back door until they are fed !

even the cats blackmail me, they won’t let me out the back door until they are fed

you can argue with a fool but it should profit you

xyz  is a philanthropist

 i’m an anti-philanthropist !

xyz  is a philanthropist

i’m an anti-philanthropist

you’re inside a circle pretending you’re outside !

you’re a  f. a .k. e.

you’re  (ed. wanderingronin 77)  delusional as well !

. .



you’re inside a circle pretending you’re outside !

you’re inside a circle pretending you’re outside

james tells jason that brittany will either consciously or unconsciously distance herself from her streaming boyfriends so that they will want her more

he also said i’m too nice and good looking to spend time on that

my  reply

james is man of insight, basically brittany is a surrogate girlfriend to her viewers so she’s going to create a false impression of exclusive attention and availability to the viewer

i personally don’t find her that interesting, intelligent but limited in her understanding in some respects

drsoinso  is  offended  and writes

Your poetry is objectively bad.  You should spend your time learning a useful craft that you can have success performing


r e p l y

so write a poem to prove you have craft !

you can’t can you, just an ignorant bystander whose nose is continually being put out of joint by a faulty understanding of the world !

who wants to perform and why ?

entertaining the gaping idiots ?

she gave some stupid avoidant reply and i replied

why not listen to what i asked about your craft ?

you have none, and a totally bankrupt understanding

i assure you, my words are valuable to me !

not to have children is a very different perspective

i never set out to, but since i don’t, i have that perspective

there is an immaturity that results from it, but there is a freedom to see things objectively, especially in regards to oneself !

religion, converse of the brain dead

religion  converse of the brain dead

religion converse of the brain dead

interestingly, the dose of lithium chloride  fed  to honey bees to kill varroa mites is roughly equivalent to prescribed pyschiatric doses when you multiply by the body weight difference which is about 5000 times !

politics playing in the context of history is a farce

i don’t know why buji-ists like ewk push huang po as he is clearly buddhist, though i notice that ewk hasn’t being pushing him recently ?

maybe something has filtered through that thick skull ?

some helpful links on understanding what buddhism is, you can really see that zen is a correction of the problems with buddhism, yet is not a complete rejection of it !

eisel mazard

the jhanas

what do the japanese  think of religions ?

there’s four types of zen

buddhist zen; huang po for instance and actually buji zennists are caught in a contradiction with their promotion of him

literary zen of which daihui is a good example

life failure zen, the only true version of which joshu is the best example

buji suburban materialist zen which is actually a theory of physics and matter melded with suburban tripe

people are so full of the value of their own time and so inconsiderate of the value of others





people are so full of the value of their own time and so inconsiderate of the value of others

i feel far happier feeling permanently disaffected

enlightenment is implicit suicide

volunteer work is an implicit form of suicide

volunteer work is suicidal

volunteer work is suicide

i am insane,  the writing comes first and there’s no prospect of their being any money in it

its an implicit form of suicide

i am insane,  the writing comes first and there’s no prospect of their being any money in it

i am insane,  the writing comes first

people in religion are operating under a model of historical certainty that is not there !

they are completely oblivious

people in religion are operating under a model of historical certainty that is not there !

it takes me ten or twenty years to figure anything out

that’s way too long to be functional in any successful way






















another view of celibacy is withholding one’s genes from reality

















when you look at the past, it might just as well be the future

anybody can criticise anything

i think

that if they are going to


something as difficult




they should do




a poem

to show




 craft !

“ I also think that if you’re honest with yourself ”

you’re  a stupid arsehole who thinks quoting idiot text is some sort of substitute for working things out for yourself !

work on it !

the  real  bodhidharma ?

“ near nanjing he took up residence at lower samadhi forest temple on mt. zhong, a mountain at the northeast outskirts of the city, because he delighted in the forests and lakes there ”

an aharon appelfeld quote

“ life is permanent war ”


“ life is perpetual war ”


“ life is perpetual warfare ”

or “ life is permanent warfare ”

when the villagers had gone, bodhidharma collected up the food offerings, had a good nosh then hung out the sign  “ doing some serious meditation, go away ”  got out his pornography and settled back for some  “ viewing ”

later he looked at the mail, oh an invitation to a feast at heyin, good-oh he thought and started to think about what to take with him on the trip ?

his best suit  ?

what hat would be a hit with the chicks ?

this was a serious business !

i think the problem with alcoholism these days is the ready supply of cheap quality booze, charles bukowski when young sort of kept himself on the wagon by being very poor and not able to afford much

compared to almost any other drug its almost free and the quantities its possible to imbibe are huge !

recent research shows that almost any quantity of alcohol is carcinogenic !

reduced  blood flow  to the hippocampus

brittany’s problem is the same as yours  (ed. jason)  and millions of others, using pot when the underlying sleep and other health problems need to be addressed

its  “ waiting at the end of time ”  in a maladaptive way   .   .

she has some unsolvable problems as you do, unsolvable problems squared are a disaster from my personal experience !


a dead heron bloated


a sewer





i’m not posting  here ,  but having some experience in this area i’m making a comment !

its a genuine experience and one of the proofs is most people will diss it !

its not good news, if you strip out the zen bullshit you are heaping on it and read it and and have a think about about it over a while you will get a different perspective !

what people miss about zen is its really about  “ life failure ”  and often early death or disability from health problems

your poem is ok, but you really need to read what you wrote !

mercenaries are dangerous men, they kill for pay

if you ever met one, beware !

women understand men better than they understand themselves

of course, not understanding themselves puts them at a disadvantage !

brittany replies to jason

how do i remind you of marzia  ?  from what i’ve seen from pewdiepie’s videos she has like no personality

my  reply

i think they are both pretty rational, less hormonally driven than most women

you can’t understand zen or mysticism without putting a lot of solitary contemplative time in, people seem to think they have entry through specific semantics !

brittany has been learning japanese since she was fourteen

learning an unnecessary extra or second language fucks people up !

toanythingtaboo  asks

I’ve wondered if Zen is really  non-dual ,  like with Wumen Huaikai saying internal and external spontaneously united, or Hunagbo and the One Mind, or if its not really alluding to either duality or non-duality


r e p l y

this sort of zen is just a projection onto a meaningless rubbish tip of words

when you post on r|zen you are posting amongst the seagulls !

jason  writes

brittany said it herself  “ yes women date men for their money ”


r e p l y

lol, brittany is stream dating a lot of very poor young men !

 meghan markle NOT  !

jason writes that he doesn’t blame brittany for wanting someone with money

i’m not sure if it was  “ barfly ”  where charles bukowski’s girlfriend goes with a guy with money and charles doesn’t become angry with her, there’s also the story of charles going onto a yacht with his girlfriend and two other women while they entertain the yacht owner


r e p l y

children murder their mothers and women murder their men

children murder their mothers and women murder their men

.  .  .  he’s twenty seven trying to be an actor in nyc

the internet has turned acting into a volunteer profession, the rash of denunciations of sexual coercion by film directors at the moment  (2017/18)  is really about there not being enough money or work to keep the lid on !

acting has gone the way of book writing and publishing and photography, all entirely  “ volunteer ”  activities now !

alexander lobanov and ioseb jughashvili were  both insane

the link intends the middle picture, pink roses and stalin holding a female or androgynous sailor

a thoughtful  video

the  theoretical and historical  origins  of ISIS ?

  “ ibn taymiyyah, a noted theologian of his times, developed his blatantly racist concept of takfir  :  that is to say inferior muslims against whom jihad was permissible, precisely in response to mongol muslims ”

its hard to understand the extreme of stupidity where people sit around singing the praises of voynich, but that’s what religion is  !

its hard to understand the extreme of stupidity where people sit around singing the praises of voynich, but that’s what religion is

its hard to understand the extreme of stupidity where people sit around singing the praises of voynich, but that’s what zen is  !

its hard to understand the extreme of stupidity where people sit around singing the praises of voynich, but that’s what zen is


confusion about the term  “ entropy ”  comes from the inversion of value, as we value order over disorder then higher states of entropy might be assumed to be more ordered, but in fact its the other way around !

you have the right to exist and be obstructive on the highway of heaven

you have a right to exist and be obstructive on the highway of heaven

you have the right to exist and be obstructive in the highway of heaven

you have a right to exist and be obstructive in the highway of heaven

new york is famous for  “ passive aggressive ” ,  but its not something that works well imo

its an interesting ethical question, the complete life and death control we have over our pets !

when emily dickinson died she can have had no expectation of her poetry surviving  let alone her becoming the cult figure she is today !

when emily dickinson died she can have had no expectation of her poetry surviving her death let alone her becoming the cult figure she is today !

i can’t say i ever found benny hill that funny, but  his life  was really autistic !

overfocused and hugely successful as a performer and writer the other areas suffered !

zen is one of several mystical traditions, if you are going to get overfocused on zen, you have a problem !

zen is one of several mystical traditions, if you are going to get overfocused on zen then you have a problem !

“ i’m not a beta orbiter am i ?  i don’t believe so ”

what’s wrong with being a beta orbiter ?

safer for sure !

put name here  and you is  “ too much autism under one roof ”

my advice is to take the balmy beach and  ‘ pass ’  on the hurricane !

put name here  and you is  “ too much autism under one roof ”

my advice is to take the balmy beach and pass on the hurricane !

jason writes

brittany called me an  “ absolute moron ”  after the first court case


r e p l y

she was triggered by your saying  “ charles bukowski ”  which was interesting, she only knows him by reputation as in fact he’s not misogynist at all, quite the opposite

i think, while very intelligent, she’s like oprah ,  “ a woman of the people ”  which carries an implied moronacy, she gets hints of a more interesting intellectual world but won’t go there !

she also seemed to react to your poem

i saw this with toni packer, she is being dragged down by her audience, the only way out is to keep a reading interest up with the greats, however she doesn’t want to do this, but i suspect is feeling there is some sort of problem !

lol, her and  elohim  are peas in a pod, except elohim has talent and some money !

maybe she could give interviews like  your one  with lisa cairns, it pays well and there are millions of young men out there who need to develop more sophisticated social skills  (putting it mildly!)  and be able to learn to converse with and understand the female mind !

“ Hey !  I find you interesting.  This is random, but I remember reading your posts and coming across what you said about various Zen masters and also Wittgenstein.  What’s your take ? ”

lol, random ?

wittgenstein was famous too young and it ruined his philosophy !

not to mention his family problems with adolf hitler !

i really am getting into the lack of synchronicity between translations and the originals, but with a few exceptions like joshu, most of so called zen masters of old were not fully enlightened and certainly today most are empty vacuoles spouting bullshit they have learnt !

“ I was gonna say, I am very curious about the whole lineage.

Some may not actually be Zen masters ”

my  reply

the basic problem with lineage is genuine zen masters/patriarchs only come along once every couple of generations or so, so usually there is no physical continuity

huineng had no enlightened successors, so there’s just me as the 7th patriarch !

“ So which of those were zen masters, and which were not ?

i think in terms of r|zen, their scriptural bases appear to be daihui and huangpo, neither of whom were fully enlightened !

infinity occurs utterly without regard to cause and effect, you can’t see it or touch it, but its there

translations are largely constructions in the mind of the translator that bear little resemblance to the original  !

translations are largely constructions in the mind of the translator that bear little resemblance to the original

picking raspberries

the cat harassing me

i show it the  “ no cats ”  sign

it can’t read

around the corner a shadow moves

low sun

 yes its the cat !

around the corner a shadow moves

 its the cat !

the core of fermat’s last theorem is that if you have a fraction, you can multiply it by another fraction to get an integer which is a requirement of ellipses having their origin in motion in discrete revolutions around the circumference of a circle !

i was thinking i am  “ incel ”  but in fact i am  “ volcel ”

women burn men so fiercely they can only look at the ashes

bailiff  :  who is the case being brought against

me  :  life

bailiff  :  what is the case the plaintiff is bringing

me  :  that life isn’t fair

judge (quickly)  :  i have no juristriction, case dismissed and bangs the gavel down !

jason seems reluctant to put his blog up for  brittany’s   “ judgment ”

what i should consider though is her audience ?

they might get bored looking at  my blog


r e p l y

i don’t find it boring

you may find they react against it

they are not bored, its just what you say upsets them

i’m looking at a case, i don’t think your blog is what they are looking for, can’t make any suggestions except the one on at the moment is stupid  (ed.  about her defaming basement dwelling mgtows and incels)

how about  ‘ public deception with intent, brittany is really a man and the baliff is a woman ’

you need a new topic, the current case already covers gender blurring

well jason and brittany did the case  (case of fraud for brittany venti claiming to be queen)  he brought against her, she gave him the death penalty when he mentioned charles bukowski : o) and told him  “ you have not been considerate of my time ”

my  comment

she did make some valid points about you that you have not picked up in the time i have known you

you were imposing your own content and the requirement there was for quicker replies and thinking

well worthwhile, you have to start somewhere, maybe the poem rattled her a bit, is her mother dead ?

ed. both her parents are dead

jason’s poem

laying on my hammock

mother sick downstairs

radiator hissing

why worry about my original face

when i have this one right here ?

my  comments

she’d been having a lot of cases against her, you just made another case when you needed a fresh topic

its entertainment so it wants to be entertaining, i think you were  “ too heavy ” 

she’s sharp witted and its like a fencing match !

the moment you mentioned charles bukowski she got rid of you, i think because that was out of her league

basically she’s a shallow thinker, so’s oprah

jason says

its difficult to fence with her when her mods are in the room

my reply

well its like the film  “ the wall ”  there’s a barrier between her and you and she wants it that way

jason  replies

yeah i can’t think of anything entertaining

my  reply

well its fencing, you parry her thrusts and deliver a few of your own, that’s all

in fact i think the poem rattled her, you did get a thrust home

she lives on pizza and chinese takeaways, what can you say ?


you are being too content oriented, its  “ play ”  just go with what comes up, it should be fun for both of you, like a good game of tennis

now i think about it a guy in a wheelchair who had diffculty speaking clearly went on to complain about his glasses being broken and he couldn’t afford to buy new ones, brittany and her boyfriend brushed it off  (judge and baliff)


jason went on again for a new case and thought that it went ok but he was not an on-demand entertaining person

my  comment

you are too bogged down in right and wrong and literalism

she’s actually very good for you


endless the gaslighting narcissists

 the embodiment of  “ bad faith ”  !


endless the gaslighting narcissists

a good  explanation  of what is behind fermat’s last theorem

everything is secondary to me, myself  !

everything is secondary to me, myself !

everything is secondary to me, myself

andrew wiles, solver of fermat’s last theorem

able prize  interview

the  moment  of insight

what is being a buddha  ?

yet another bad soap opera ?

what is being a buddha  ?   yet another bad soap opera ?

sunlight  shrinks  subcutaneous fat cells !

some things remain really constant, but if you work at it, other things will really move, this is the nature of reality !

some things remain very constant, but if you work at it, other things will really move, this is the nature of reality !

brittany, a succubus with blue contact lenses  !

brittany, a succubus with blue contact lenses !

contemporary politics only appears significant because people have no notion of history

brittany  writes

i just give up on the average woman

they get too emotional and confuse it with logic too

when it comes to things like leadership you need some empathy sure but you need logic

we’re built different chemically

its just how it is

maryam mirzakhani, super competent  on topology , she knows her subject intimately and can convey it well, yet she is dead, it just doesn’t make sense

something and now gone, what for and was life worth living ?

why ?

if you give advice, look at the advice you give because most likely you need to take it yourself !

what i don’t understand is the theoretical or abstract richness  of these things ,  how did they come into existance ?

i think richard carrier has it wrong about people not living past forty  in medieval  and earlier times, for one thing our biological development which has aspects that are very late maturing, up to the early thirties even, wouldn’t make sense !

“ for people living traditional lives, without modern medicine or markets, the most common age of death is about seventy ”

i think once you get past the high mortality years the picture changes !

“ don’t judge me ”  is so grooming for alcohol and drug problems  !

“ what is god ? ”

three words 

in the clouds  by robyn rich

jason  writes

pot causing brain damage doesn’t sit too well with brittany !

my  reply

in fact between her pot use and health/diet problems she is always being cut back and her streaming is failing because she can’t get to the next level !

jason replies

she should wish to hear that advice

my  reply

you might be surprised that she is already aware of the situation

she could be like you, low brain derived neurotrophic factor  (a measure of resilience to toxic stress in the brain)  and ice poseidon is high BDNF though he is being cut back as well !

the chaos and stupidity of whole streaming scene has its roots in marijuana use

jason  replies

that theory about roots in marijuana makes sense to me

the bed has to get real hot to kill bed bugs, i’d just get one or several cheap electric blankets with no automatic control and with a preheat switch option and don’t tie to the bed but move or parallel them through the different layers to get between each layer up to 50°C

personally i don’t sleep with the electric blanket on the bed, but put it between the midway blanket level to dry and heat the bed then remove to to go to sleep

you have to cut the ties off and don’t set the bed on fire !

contact lenses make the biofilm in the eye much more like the skin and i think in addition to increased eye problems, this translates through to systemic microbiome problems as well !

so, i’m not really a fan  of this ,  except the frontipiece, the book mixed two very different iconographies, dali’s and dodgson’s and basically it doesn’t work !

mia farrow ,  salvador dali ,  frank sinatra, other sinatras, ronan farrow, woody allen, harvey weinstein, an unholy autistic spectrum collection if there ever was one !

i am quite interested in the holocaust because it was such a catastrophic blast through lives and the insanity and damage to their own self interest of the perpetrators

holocaust survivor and author aharon appelfeld

interview     obituary

We were with my grandmother at the farm.  The Romanians and Germans came and they shot my mother and my grandmother.  It was in the summer of 1941. I was nine and a half years old.  She was thirty-one.  I am now eighty-two.  My mother  will always  remain young and I am going to be very old.  She was a beautiful woman

in another account he tells of leaving their home in czernowitz in the northern borderlands of romania to spend the summer holidays at his grandparents in the nearby carpathian mountains

sick in bed with the mumps, on hearing shots he jumped out the window and hid in the cornfield behind the house and had to listen to his mother screaming from the germans torturing her and both his mother and grandmother were murdered !

ed. chapter  nineteen

general anesthetics are  problematic  for the very young and old

yeah public personalities are  “ fair game ”

women become very strange and vindictive at any hint they are damaged

zen masters don’t master zen

epileptic  brain irritiablity  cycling over a day and a  multidien  period of twenty to thirty days may also hold for migraine !

i know that i inevitably get migraine at separated intervals of several weeks and just about always they start in the afternoon !

two interesting social and technological trends

the first being the very high quality of the machine translation

and secondly, that sitting  reduces  the bodies perception of its own weight, which must be a contributing factor in why sitting is so unhealthy !

what i find with people on autistic spectrum from brittany to ewk to yourself  (ed. jason)  is they don’t do better than their health !

if you don’t address the diet etc then the problems will always undercut you

brittany must be a disaster area

eileen, what i figured was that the constant in your relationships was you !

the one that wasn’t a disaster for you, you couldn’t leave soon enough !

the monk asked

what happens when we don’t perceive ourselves ?

the 7th patriarch replied

who is not perceived ?

the monk was dumbfounded !

only their own children ever settles women

jason  writes

james thinks its a red flag that  she  was saying  “ i’m not happy with your life choices ”  to her boyfriend, that its a red flag and that she wants him to be how she wants

he was thinking that she might have just used me as a platform to express herself and that she will stay with him, then i told him how we had looked at each other on the train and he understood how powerful that can be

she was writing last night in her group how she doesn’t like short guys, or guys with brown eyes  .  .  don’t know if she was taking the piss

my  comment

she seems to get sick easily and in addition as tim said she is high maintenance

plus she has effectively asked you to keep your distance

i think you are too projecting without real life observation balance

she’s very damaged and a lot of work


she likes moths, autistic women seem to like moths


i mentioned how she had said she doesn’t like to be alone, thus her two boyfriends having lived with her

james said that’s not a red flag, but a blinding light

yrsa daley-ward gives a good and off-putting insight into women

oddly, despite being racially very african, she comes across so english that she seems straight out of my new zealand culture

dave, you are man of superficiality

yes, i know, depth requires work and sacrifice

but haven’t you noticed, you do that anyway promoting the superficial !

dave, you are man of superficiality

yes, i know, depth requires work and sacrifice

dave, you are man of superficiality

one interesting and unintended side effect of the nuremberg race laws was the removal of jews from the wehrmacht resulted in a subtle lack of effective strategic thinking at all levels to the point where any infantryman was a better strategist than what actually happened !


to be fair to adolf, operation barbarossa could have possibly succeeded if they had marched rapidly and directly on just moscow while soviet tank production was still low !

even in the very early stages, german troop losses were too high to be sustained !

the writing was on the wall within days of the start of the invasion !

my reworking of case/chapter seventy-seven of the book of serenity

a monk asked kyozan, what are you like with meaningless charades ?

kyozan smugly conceded he could hold his own !

the monk then circled him clockwise as asked what the meaning of that was ?

koyzan traced a cross on the ground !

the monk then circled him counterclockwise and asked what the meaning of that was !

koyzan traced each arm of the cross backwards so they all went to the center and then smoothed the cross out !

the monk drew a circle in the air and raised his hands palms up to give the appearance of a giant supporting the sun and the moon and asked  “ what is the meaning of this ? ”

kyozan drew a circle around where the cross had been, and the monk mimicked the appearance of a fierce temple guardian

i think men are fairly easy going  (if they didn’t get pinched too hard in a divorce settlement)  about dealing with ex’s after a relationship break up, but the women may not be !

maladaptive  daydreaming  disorder

a form of dissociative adaptation in fact !

you have the weight of history on the one hand

and the weight of poetry on the other

you have the weight of history on the one hand

and the weight of poetry on the


r|zen plays host to another  pretender

mind  sense  body

soul  and  god

r|zen plays host to another pretender

mind  sense  body

soul  god

the glittering moonlight sparkling on the flowing stream

the glittering moonlight sparkling on a flowing stream

a measure of the intelligence of iosif was that he had nikolai varfolomeev arrested only after he had handed in his draft to the publisher of his famous  ‘ the evolution of operational art ’ ,  foundational for russian strategy in world war II !

he was arrested within days of handing it in and later died in prison in 1941 !

hmm, a stalin  parody

the laws of this world are quite different from morality, the most basic one is the cost of not giving something adequate attention

even hubris doesn’t suffer too much, only its consequence as per above !

the laws of this world are quite different from morality, the most basic one is the cost of not giving something adequate attention

recent research has been especially damning on the follow-on consequences of diabetes, here is yet   another one ,  reducing the heart muscle’s metabolic adaptability and causing heart cells to overuse fat as a metabolic fuel which leads to numerous small, misshapen mitochondria that don’t produce energy as efficiently as normal mitochondria

jason  writes

i was on the train with her and everyone going to the second place  (ed.  from ice poseidons’s infamous 2018  new years eve party at the sheraton  —  the next day ice’s girlfriend caroline broke up with him)  and i was going between the groups talking to everyone, then i went off to the side by myself just keeping my balance on the train and i was looking at brittany sitting down, i think i was even sort of smiling and then she looked at me and it was one of those slow down moments until i looked away

my  reply

“ and then she looked at me ”

she’s made some calculations about you, time will show what they are !

jason  replies

brittany is one of or the smartest person i’ve met in real life

the dysfunctional kind of intelligence

amy mctighe  with the kurds

a forty year old american ESL teacher currently in china asks about doing a retreat when he gets back to the usa !

my  reply

most zen centers are run by idiot lunatics

i know from experience ,  have been to a lot !

r|zen is a psychward !

his  reply

. . So,  Zen  =  Crazy,  got it !

my  reply

no i said psychward !

rilke is not a psychward !  (ed.  he has read rilke and mary oliver)

the whole problem with communal retreats is they usually come with some sort of  “ imprinting ”  which is really crazy and can never be undone

  “ zen ”  is like an obstruction of what poetry is really about

since you teach english in china, why not look at wang wei’s poetry ?

the most zen book you can read is  this

it might seem peripheral but its not and the family involved are qing dynasty aristocrats and the last really of a long qing involvement with zen before it died completely in china !

just to go or a walk by yourself is a good retreat

i think therefore i am

i think therefore i am thinking

 lotta use rené !

i think therefore i am

i think therefore i am thinking

 lotta use rené !

if you are giving advice, you are too involved for the distance you are from the problem

if you are giving advice, you are too involved

why do i write what i do ?




why do i write what i do ?




why do i write what i do ?

i am bleeding

infinity includes its exclusion

how ?

its exclusion is in denial about itself !

infinity includes its exclusion

how ?

 its exclusion is in denial about itself

infinity must also be what its not and the only way it can be that is if what its not is in denial of itself !

the flower duet  sung  by soprano anna netrebko and mezzo-soprano elina garanca


emily dickinson aged sixteen  morphs  to late twenties or early thirties ?

hmm,   no wonder  charles bukowski died of luekemia !

acetaldehyde  (produced when the body processes alcohol)  can break and damage DNA within blood stem cells, permanently altering the DNA sequences within these cells

when healthy stem cells become faulty, they can give rise to cancerous cells

you can tell bon soeng /jeff kitzes is a fake, the comments were removed

here for your delectation are what they couldn’t cope with so i assume  i am buddha  means  “ i am a pot smoker ”


why crazies explain for ever what they don't understand, i don’t know ! ?

Theo M.

just more  purling  in the stream  .  .  .  no ?  ; )  ?


you’re another pot smoker using zen for window dressing ?

if jeff kitzes reads this  (ed. the fake deleted it) ,  please post your views on pot smoking and drug use, get real for once in your life ! ?

Theo M.

You seem extra awakened this evening  (ed. it was midday here in the southern hemisphere)  but are you trying to suggest all cannabis use is non-medicinal, or that no one should recreationally imbibe any substance ?  it seems too strict to limit all your ingestion to nutritional needs only  .  .  .  almost like you’re hoping for ever lasting life  .  .  .  what would you do with all that extra time ?  is pleasing the tastebuds that much different than pleasing the senses ?  What about a pleasant smell ?  Is this different than a massage ?  Worse ?  Better ?  ; )   Either way, I hope you’re enjoying the new year, and I hope you don’t take any of this too seriously, but know I meant it sincerely  .  .  .  and don’t forget your grain of salt, but it seems you’re still judging ?


my entire experience of people who smoke pot is their brains are fucked like yours weepy bullshit and as i said use zen for life wall paper ! ?

Theo M.

ever wonder if your experience is sheltered or based upon false assumptions ?  your zen seems contrived  .  .  .  like you’re attempting to emulate a master from a koan you once heard or read more than being authentic  .  .  .  but that’s just my sheltered experience of you, so hopefully you grabbed a spare grain of salt  : )    And what’s so bad in being a stupid pothead ?  is intellectual or spiritual one-upmanship a better path  .  .  .  a better drug perhaps ?  nah, clearly you’re as sober as a bird.  feathers ruffled and all  ; )   perhaps intellectual pride is the curtain at the end of the yellow brick road ?  nah, you’re too matter of fact for that.  anti-posturing is still posturing if you look close enough ?


typical potspiel, wank on !

you can’t write or think clearly and you think this is ok !?

Theo M.

lol  .  .  .  your awareness is dulled by your biases ?

ed. i have included theo m.’s comments as very illustrative of the tangled narcissism of drug users and why they think it so important to waste my time with their bullshit i don’t know !

any public domain religious subreddit eg christianity has an intrinsic divergence between its high public domain drop in rate and constant ongoing battles by regulars to conscript the public domain use of the word into the private domain

r|zen is a conflict between individuals trying to conscript what is a public domain use of the word  “ zen ”  into their private domains

its like the hundred years war or however long the word remains fashionable !

brittany is putting all her emotional energy into the therapy streams and its killing her

lacks boundaries

 i should know !

 everyone declaims, its this, that or the next thing     ̱     ̱      ̱     .   !

everyone declaims, its this, that or the next thing

everyone declaims its this that or the next thing

my life has burnt away in futility

why should i explain anything

why should i explain everything

what is the point of my explaining everything

what is the point of my explaining anything

what is the point of your explaining everything

what is the point of your explaining anything

we can know a bit about something, but to bring it to practical fruition is quite a different problem

everyone is the entire universe, what we call  ‘ reality ’  is just an image that enables the persistence of you as an image

jason takes  the camera  at ice’s party and gives brittany air time

jason writes

people like to put their fingers in their ears when they hear something they don’t like ! 

i told kbubblez last night that pot is a drug and it causes brain damage, she said to me  “ you’re stupid if you believe that ! ”

typical  potspiel ,  (ed. see replies)  wank on !

you can’t write or think clearly and you think this is ok !

typical potspiel, wank on !  you can’t write or think clearly and you think this ok !

my entire experience of people who smoke pot is their brains are fucked like yours, they post weepy bullshit and as i said use zen for life wallpaper !

millenial idiot throws a poorly baited hook

ice poseidon  in amsterdam

its interesting how some people respond better or make things much clearer in a very different culture

i think my writing is like live streaming in a way !

i wonder if being a vegetarian is as damaging as pot ?

i wonder if vegetarian is as damaging as pot ?

sometimes i wonder if vegetarian is as damaging as pot ?

jason was at ice poseidons new year’s party in new york  ( $3000 to book a room at the hilton with a good view of the times square ball )  and had an interesting time

( ed. twenty-three thousand viewers at peak and he got some high donations )

he  writes  :  i showed james  the same picture  and he said she  (ed. brittany)  looks high maintenance

my comment

james being gay will judge women far better than you or i

more by jason

all of the streamers there smoked pot daily

kbubblez paid off the security guard $60 to not be kicked out of the hotel, she said when questioned if $60 was a lot  “ that’s only like an eigh  .  .   (th of weed) ”  she didn’t say the ending but you could tell

ice smoked pot at night to sleep, and more than that i think

brittany smokes the  ‘ indica ’  strain to sleep 

ed.  she is 33%  ‘ black ’ ,  age twenty, streamer for at least four years, diagnosed bipolar and on medication,  “ happy pills ” ,  she does  “ therapy ”  streams where she takes callers and they talk about their problems

she started to get tired as we were walking to the second place and showed frustration, her boyfriend kept telling how he  “ told that security guard to bug off ! ”  and she said  “ yeah you’ve told that story like sixteen times ”

also it was only me, brittany, and her boyfriend in the room for about twenty-five minutes and he was wanting to order pot with a delivery service and he didn’t have any money and wanted me to pay

he said he’d pay me back and. i asked brittany if he would and she said  “ i'm sure he would  .  . ” ,  but during and before this she was complaining to him how he has her pay and doesn’t pay her back

then he was getting upset because he wanted to know what she was thinking and if she wanted to go home, she was complaining that he wanted to order pot right then and there and he asked if she was upset with him or something like that and she said  “ i just don’t like your lifestyle choices ”

my  comment

yeah, write this up for  your blog  and link stuff, they are public personalites, exposure goes with the territory

jason  replies

i should write something up about the whole experience

yesterday i was driving along the beach and i thought about brittany for a moment and then looked to my right to the beach and saw the still clouds in the sky

my  reply

when you write it up you will have the odd experience of the one sane thing being written about the event and hardly anyone ever reading it

you were driving along the beach with no real life contact with brittany and the clouds were still in the sky ! : o)

jason  replies

it was interesting for someone to say i was unique to the room, especially with other unique personalities there

“ When guys  are this age  and filled with testosterone, they’re emotionally reactive and need to understand consequences instead of the instant gratification of rage

I understand since I was once a quick to anger guy  .  .  .  now, I think about spending life in prison for reactions I could have controlled with an extra three seconds worth of calming down ”

why crazies explain for ever what they don‘t understand, i don‘t know !

when you see a quote posted, remember the person quoting is not the person who said the quote orginally, indeed they are usually scam artists relying on association to imply they really said what they quoted !

weirdly, the person quoting in the fact of their behavior are    often   polar opposites to what they quote !

this guy  is difficult ,  he can’t distinguish fantasy from reality ,  i was thinking the net is so selective for this sort of person !

i got a profound feeling of dissonance and exhaustion watching this, maybe because of my experience with reddit zen, a different context, but the same mentality

i would think it must affect brittany !

jason writes he was surprised with how much of a non existent barrier there is  (ed. ice poseidon’s new year party 2018) ,  i felt like when i got to the room and saw ice and his girlfriend it was like i already knew them in real life


i had to call people out often for being disrespectful to me or to others

i was surprised with myself that although the women there were gorgeous, i didn’t treat them like sex objects but normally

the really good looking ones had boyfriends though

like the videos are real and i hang out with him actually and seeing him in person was not very much different at all

women are there to propagate the female species, men are just an end to this, even sons for they have daughters !

after a while the search reveals

it all comes back to nothing

after a while the search for everything reveals

it all comes back to nothing

everything comes back to nothing

it all comes back to nothing

a half truth is a complete lie

when you look at  these photos ,  you believe in evolution !

chapter three of  ‘ the tragic sense of life: ernst haeckel and the struggle over evolutionary thought ’  by robert j. richards

is a lyric account of ernst haeckel and hermann allmers   ‘ holiday ’  in italy in 1859, sorta an idyll rarely encountered !

ernst’s  art

its not advice, its just discussion, not even discussion

i can be quite completely  wrong   !

in the end, hindsight is perfect because what was indeterminate has happened

my rephrase of benajmin franklin’s  famous quote

half the truth is always a big lie

the world is so stupid it makes me weep

let’s not talk about our own stupidity

the world is so stupid it makes me weep

let’s not talk about my own stupidity

the only explanation for charles bukowski can be exceptionally high neurotrophic growth factors

otherwise he would have been   just some other   a depressed wreck

why should a few more wrong turns bother me










i have







i have







i have







i find

thinking about




have squandered

my time


i had a gift

i ignored its validity

and spent my time

arguing with idiots






i had a gift

i ignored its validity

and spent my time

arguing with idiots

i thought i understood something, now i don’t understand anything ,  even the  ‘ what ’  of what is there to understand

i thought i understood something, now i think i don’t understand anything ,  even the  ‘ what ’  of what is there to understand

transgender operations and hormonal treatment open a pandoras box of health problems, its sorta interesting that   ben barres ,  neuroscientist he is  didn’t know about testosterone promoting growth in pancreatic cancer








its very hard to deal with people whose opinions are quite different

people don’t change so its better to avoid those areas

amyloid beta levels in  sleep-deprived  people were 25 to 30 per cent higher than in those who had slept the night through


sodium oxybate increases slow-wave sleep  —  the deep, dreamless phase of sleep that people need to wake up feeling refreshed

transmission from the sixth patriarch trumps public domain use of the word  ‘ zen ’

transmission by the sixth patriarch trumps public domain use of the word  ‘ zen ’

transmission from the sixth patriarch trumps public domain use

transmission by the sixth patriarch trumps public domain use

pot smoking can throw you into a charles bukowski sort of life without the talent

a lack of reality orientation is common or even de rigueur amongst pot smokers

a lack of reality orientation is common amongst pot smokers

bentinho massaro has taken more than a few  leaves  out of da free john’s book !

i think bentinho is quite a bit crazier though !

da free john was an intelligent and untalented sleeze on the make !

bentinho is outright schizophrenic amongst other things !

horses for courses !

temicco banned me from r|zens

i’m not criticising the banning since i do it on a much larger scale in  my subtreddit ,  its simply that he is creating his own malformed version of zen and censoring to keep it that way

i ban to stop my time being wasted by wrong-minded idiots

anyway, what happened, my replies in response to this  OP

i reply :  what a load of unadulterated crap !

cliché pie for the stupids, who believes in this shit ?

thecowisflying replies :  Ok

my first reply which temicco  (a moderator of r|zens)  then PM’ed me about

the monk was speechless eh ?

no words of his own so he has to quote crap !

: o(

how fake can you get ?

temicco’s reply :  Hey, please stop randomly calling things/people  “ crap ”  and  “ stupid ”  and so forth on r|zens

This is your one warning  —  I want to have good discussions, not a subreddit full of lazy criticism

my reply :  its not random at all, buddha never existed historically, so the first line is a lie and what follows is crap and a particularly bad translation even allowing for an allegorical use of  “ buddha ”

real  “ monks ”  can reply for themselves why are you protecting a fake ?

because you are a fake yourself ?

why not let him reply, easy enough to discuss  “ allegorical ”  versus   “ historically real ”

let him be a man and not a coward !

my second reply to  “ OK ”

you seem to be a bunny !  try not being a bunny and address what i say which is based on the allegorical use of  “ buddha ”  versus the fact buddha is made up, not historically real !

“ the monk had no reply ”  is going to be your theme song ?

the sutras are a very long historical wiki, they have no authenticity outside what they say which is usually garbled nonsense

buddhism is a load of unadulterated crap !

cliché pie for the stupids, who believes in this shit ?

when it comes to religion

you can’t argue people out of fake bullshit

when it comes to religion, you can’t argue people out of fake bullshit

you can’t argue people out of fake bullshit

why are things so unstable ?






why are things so unstable ?

even my brain is unstable

why are things so unstable ?

why are things so unstable

“ philosophical errors ”

philosophy is an error

judaism doesn’t have  a coherent  view of the afterlife, i think basically they tend towards the greek view, something happens, but not much

christianity particularly ,  but also islam  get around the problem of the world not matching up to any particular moral code by having the reward of heaven and punishment of hell, handy for justifying martyrdom

so judaism is particularly conflicted by adverse events where clearly god is set out  to  punish his people, the exile to babylon which you can possibly explain and the holocaust which defies explanation except the notion of a chosen people is a load of nonsense

judaism limps on but the holocaust has destroyed any semblance of rationality !

i watched an episode of  “ the wire ” ,  well written, tense but complete bullshit

a raid by omar’s gang with no masks, what were they thinking !

the behavior is just a middle class scriptwriters projection

as if the police get at all involved in that shit !

the children of billionaires barry and honey sherman who were clearly murdered had to get pressure put on the police to treat it as homicide rather than murder-suicide !

unreal !

“ urine samples that were less acidic, closer to the neutral pH of pure water, showed higher activity of the protein  siderocalin  and were better at restricting bacterial growth than the more acidic samples ”

a low branched-chain amino acid diet  promotes  leanness and improved control of blood sugar

i dug about in my sack and found a quote for shan tien, or was it buddha or even the 7th patriarch ?

hubricity blinds us

 how can we escape ?

hubricity blinds us

 how can we escape ?

hubricity blinds us, how can we escape ?

Tien Shan

a mountain range  in central Asia, in Kirghizia and China

Shan Tien is of course a discordian pretend zen master !

translations don’t equal what is said versus translations can’t equal what is said  !

translations don’t equal what is said versus translations can’t equal what is said

ice poseidon has too much energy ,  burns  too fast !

he wants to be drinking  lithium water  !

hongzhi’s poetry is the ugly sickness of total psychosis !

“ people who know its truth nod their heads with comprehension ”

ed.  hongzhi

in  “ whatever psychward ”  silent illumination is in yeah !

you pack something up and then you have to unpack it

but if you don’t go through that process you don’t learn anything

‘ the nazi officer’s wife ’


  toni packer  had a jewish mother and it took the intervention of a friend of her father’s with the gestapo to keep her mother safe

i don’t think anyone in her american life really understood the insecurity she went through and how it marked her !

her mother and herself and siblings and cousin/brother were on a death list found after the war, again something the significance of which was not realised by those about her in later years, had the germans won no doubt  “ the cleansing ”  would have been intensified and the list acted on !

its such an important thing in life, to temper our impulses with rationality  !

its such an important thing in life, to temper our impulses with rationality

the quiet satisfaction of reading r|zen but not participating and seeing all the rabble fighting and wondering how i was ever involved in all that !

i think prince harry would have married  ellie goulding  earlier, except for her not handling anxiety and stress well, he shows some savvy in life about preferring comfort to too rough an emotional ride !

he must have picked up something over the years !

my thoughts on the first anniversary of carrie fisher’s death

the truth about carrie fisher is way weirder than any star wars movie/plot, she was a friedrich nietzsche quality genius, with some appropritate mentoring when young she could have done better, but the way to be with that sort of intelligence is to be screwed up by the world and i think harrison ford screwed her over royally with his  (and her)  pot use

since infinity is all then it must include what it is not and the only way it can do that is if what it is not denies what it is

infinity itself does not exclude non-infinity

giant otters killing  a rather obtuse  caiman

basically there’s some puzzle you have to work out and you have to traverse existance and non-existance

basically there’s some puzzle you have to work out and you have to traverse non-existance and existance

you can’t retrospectively comment on a life

the finger pointing at the moon is not the moon

the finger pointing at sewage saying it is the moon is sewage

franz kafka’s sisters were gassed

joseph mangele died while swimming

tell me there’s a benign god ?

sepehr has at last  opened  a blog  .  .

Why are crows symbols of the Gothic ?

When man’s society

feels less sublime

than the crow’s flock

and freedom ?

Why was I born as a mid-class man ?

 Stuck with idiots to hustle n’ bustle   .   .   .

on the edge of poverty,

and not as a corvid

who merely needs his niche ?

When the crow shits on man’s metal hunk,

then it’s beautiful.

from this lake, famous for its distant clouds


you have returned



suspended mountains

in the clouds

the above is my reworking of  a poem  by jioran  (730-799)  from  ‘ clouds thick, whereabouts unknown  :  poems by zen monks of china ’  by charles egan

ewk the jackhammer

jackhammers sand

ewk the jack hammer

jack hammers sand

why are druggies so dreary and boring

there’s something intrinsic in its false solipsism that makes it so, not simply the brain damage !

what is love ?

what is love that it survives a wedding ?

its interesting to compare charles bukowski and  edith coliver ,  both born in germany, she two years later, but both emigrating with their families to the USA though at different ages, one a successful productive person, the other a lifelong wreck, yet he is incomparably the greater !

“ how long can one live on one slice of bread and a little bit of water ?

people started to die ”

lithuanian jewish woman nechama shneorson tells  her story

paula lebovics, the best holocaust survivor  interview ,  she and her life say more than the others !

man, sometimes you lift a rock to see  what’s there  and what you see surprises you !

sandra hoyn  photographs  of the kandapara brothel

the red sea  crossing  is in fact a mangling of an egyptian  “ victory ”  in syria i.e. ,  a stalemate where the hittites were forced to swim across a river to escape

dr. josef mengele ate non kosher animals and lived a happy life in south america !

you claim to be observant  (ed. jewish)  of what ?

the insanity of life from the point of view of a religious psychward ?

“ All words are nonsense ”

especially the ones you write !

ed.  yes dillon123 again who says he is three months pot free at this point !

look you can’t take another persons opinion as valid can you but rabbit meaninglessly on

“ zen ”  is in the public domain, it means what is in the public domain, your version is idiosyncratic to the point of insanity !

you can’t tell how life turns out, but you can say somethings !

if you don’t get your diet ,  supplements and exercise to the point you won’t be susceptible to pot addiction then you will always be undercut no matter what you do careerwise !

careers require learned skills and pot fucks the memory, what can i say ?

franz kafka’s  sisters  were gassed, i can’t see any metaphysical logic in that !

kafka’s sisters were gassed, i can’t see any metaphysical logic in that !

“ exposure of adult male cockroaches to electromagnetic radiation emitted by mobile phones has resulted in sharp changes in the   enzyme systems  of fat body and haematological profile ”

“ microbiome microbes of the lachnospiraceae and ruminococcaceae families generate metabolites that can travel through the blood stream and reach the brain

here there is a triggering of depressive-like symptoms

the  main metabolite  for this effect appears to be cresol ”

nonsense attracts nonsense don’t you find ?

its all  mayberry land  i am afraid, are they supposed to thank god for leaving their lineage intact during the holocaust ?

and actually these prayers, tell god rather than thank him !

isn’t it all some rather crazy fiction ?

the problem with  “ people on earth ”  and indeed all science fiction is we are the only technologically advanced planet in the universe !

we age and decay, what gives ?

hill flowers bloom and wreath like magical brocade, the winding stream reflects blue

one  -  you

two  -  two


i want to pee

four  -  open the door


thrown on a bee hive

six pick up sticks, pick up picks

seven  -  back out of heaven

eight pile up silver on a plate

nine  -



hen in a pen

how many holocaust  deniers  fit on the head of a pin ?

a philo quote

for as i imagine what a wall is to a city ,  that  caution  is to an individual

edward hartry, an émigré polish jew and his  interesting life

so the stages of removal from r|zen are not posting OP’s, not commenting then not reading

it really has the etiology of an addiction !

clara schumann  could have been one of the really great  composers ,  but never got the time to develop since she was a wife, mother and the principle breadwinner

her husband felt the conflict, a really sane man, its hard to see how he ended up in a asylum !

his  words

clara has composed a series of small pieces, which show a musical and tender ingenuity such as she has never attained before

but to have children, and a husband who is always living in the realm of imagination, does not go together with composing

she cannot work at it regularly, and I am often disturbed to think how many profound ideas are lost because she cannot work them out

jason  writes

i saw some guys playing small sided soccer in the next field so i drove over, when i got there i was in my boots and jeans and i asked if they needed another player, who i asked definitely thought i was crazy and didn’t realize i had a change of shoes

he said  “ next sunday be here at ten, don’t forget ! ”  so i said okay i won’t

they were an interesting group of people who were battling it out, small sides means i won’t head the ball but these guys seemed pretty rough which translates into me being especially picked on !

jason  writes

i was flying my drone at an open field at a park, in new york you’re not supposed to fly drones in parks but i think as long as you’re respectful you won’t get bothered

well, i’m flying the drone and focused when i hear someone say something behind me and i look around to see a man and his son, the surprise making me crash land the drone with it ending up upside down

well they’re just standing five feet away from me and my whole face is covered with a neckie and a winter hat, so i’m just staring at them for several seconds without them saying anything and i say  “ how do you do ? ”

he says they just find it interesting so i said  “ okay just be careful because i’m new ”

and he said how it was impressing and how he goes to best buy and they’re expensive and they have all these features, he says how planes need to land like drones

so i keep flying some more until the battery runs out and i begin to walk back to my car, i see a vision of a big drone flying through the sky being controlled by a small black silhouetted person, then i  “ get out ”  of the vision and a rhyming homily comes to me, but i didn’t write it down so i forgot and it’s another piece of writing gone forever   .   .

i do not fear  to love

very moving ,  the singing and music match the poem well

i love the russian voice and english subtitles !

xyz  who has been getting worse this northern hemisphere winter asks

how can i get the  BCD  working ?

how do i know if its working ?


r e p l y

you need to understand the  SCD  as well as the BCD

stool quality is a good indication and feeling of well being

lots of writing on the web

i was thinking you need to sleep warm and really the magnetic field should not be above .1 mG

you are just not putting the work in the right places

marijuana is an immune suppressant and can cause herpes outbreaks

“ SIR,  —  A variety of stimuli are known to trigger a recurrence of latent herpes simplex infection.

A rise in temperature, physical trauma, exposure to ultraviolet light, steroids, and anxiety with a presumed liberation of adrenaline are well-known provoking factors

Cannabis smoking has not, to my knowledge,   previously been noted  as a provoking agent causing recurrent herpes simplex ”

xyz’s reply was antagonistic with the following re-quote, the mark of a true addict

cannabis smoking  has not ,  to my knowledge, previously been noted as a provoking agent causing recurrent herpes simplex


r e p l y

“ cannabis smoking has not ”

so why don’t you read the link and why don’t you understand the phrase “ previously been noted ” ,  meaning it is now noted

why are you asking question about electric blankets and heaters that we have gone over before

don’t sleep with the electric blanket on

heaters are a question of distance, don’t you have a magnetic field meter ?

you are going in returning circles !

it was extremely disprespectful to your mother to blot out her dying with your use of cannabis, you don’t get that do you ?

last night being warm but the night sky being clouded over with little or no moonlight ,  i was sort of half dozing , sitting on the woodpile and was taken in the visionary of the most amazing garden, full of beautiful flowers and walks, like nothing i have ever seen in intensity and beauty   .   .

where did this come from ?

it was literally overflowing !

if you write entertaining you can make money, or at least you used to, but i’m not sure, there’s always a life sadness   .   .

the world does not weight words

the world does not weigh words

what is religion ?

the insane gabbling to the insane

voynich pretending to sense

retardation masquerading as intelligence

what is buddhism ?

the insane gabbling to the insane

voynich pretending to sense

retardation masquerading as intelligence

what is islam ?

the insane gabbling to the insane

voynich pretending to sense

retardation masquerading as intelligence

what is christianity ?

the insane gabbling to the insane

voynich pretending to sense

retardation masquerading as intelligence

what is zen ?

the insane gabbling to the insane

voynich pretending to sense

retardation masquerading as intelligence

i think substances damage the brain, that’s my objection !

drug users are narcissistic, never seen an exception !

xyz  writes

i can smoke a little bit of pot and i feel like i can digest way better than normal

i’ve heard of people microdosing with pot, not sure their reasoning

still pot makes me crazy lethargic and empty-headed, completely messes with my memory too

yeah you are a bit different for reasons you know !

you’ve been to edge and come back !

i jump back and forth again all the time

yeah you are a bit different for reasons you know !

you’ve been to edge and come back !

i jump back and forth all the time

confused history  to say the least, no doubt half of america will be thinking marie antionnette and joan of arc were BFFs !

oddly it is quite effectively surreal !

the advertisers are to be congratulated !

has a touch of alice in wonderland too !

an r|zen question

How do you know if you are enlightened or not ?

a typical western bar scene, groups of men around tables, one or two at the bar when the saloon doors swing forcibly open and  “ zen the enlightened ”  walks in, a six gun strapped to each side

he looks at the sign  “ hang up your guns here ”  by empty pegs and ignores it

he swanks over to the bar and tells the barman to get him a liquor !

the barman timorously asks him  “ what type ”  and  “ zen ”  replies  “ the usual ”

the barman creeps away and back with a bottle with  “ liquid enlightenment ”  on the label and pours it into a shot glass !

“ zen ”  turns around addressing the room, as he lifts it to his lips asking,  “ any objections ”

the room cowers and turn their heads down looking at their cards or whatever again and  “ zen ”  swiggs the shot

several seconds later, clutching his throat and gagging he rushes out of the room followed by guffaws and knowing laughter !

the room settles back to normalcy and last seen  “ zen ”  was chasing dust devils three towns towards the coast !

marianne moore reading her poem  bird-witted

i think something comes through with her voice

nothing i have ever done has fitted

even not fitting !

nothing i have ever done has fitted

even not fitting

nothing i have ever done has fitted

even the not fitting !

nothing i have ever done has fitted

even the not fitting

the title and first line of a poem by marianne moore

the mind is an enchanted thing

is an enchanting thing

that’s not a correction but a phase shift, the meaning is somehow between the lines !


on the plus side you have more experience

on the negative you are decaying

the aging brain

on the plus side you have more experience

on the negative its decaying

life seems to hold deep secrets

tarnished depths spinning to further tarnished depths

but it turns



be nothing

life seems to hold deep secrets

tarnished depths spinning to tarnished depths

but it turns



be nothing

life seems to hold secrets

tarnished depths spinning to tarnished depths

but it turns



be nothing

on the use of ceremonial incense

the fragrance of stupidity worshipping perfume ?

well mosquito repellent actually !

on the use of incense at buddhist services

the fragrance of stupidity worshipping perfume ?

well mosquito repellent actually !

i’ve had it with r|zen, if you yap all the other dogs bite you !

are humans anything more than hormonal breeding machinery ?

not the way most act !

are humans anything more than hormonal breeding machinery ?

a good explanation of what happened  at argincourt

still i think the english invasion of france was a disaster, the miracle is that they held it with so few troops, a flaw joan of arc exploited, the english knew the degree to which she was a threat and treated her accordingly

religion only looks good if you exclude quality literature, art, thinking and song

and that’s what they do

r|zen only looks good if you exclude quality literature, art, thinking and song

and that’s what they do

religion only looks good if you exclude quality art

r|zen only looks good if you exclude quality art

maya deren

 addicted to speed btw and died young !

transfigured time     at land 

cheap doesn’t necessarily mean doesn’t work or isn’t reliable

just research the brand and see what people who have used them think

cheap doesn’t necessarily mean doesn’t work or isn’t reliable

cheap doesn’t necessarily mean doesn’t work

cheap doesn’t mean doesn’t work

existance is non existance

non existance is existance

which one ?

what order ?

non existance is existance

existance is non existance

which one ?

everything is a very slow process, you just have to see how things develop

everything is a very slow process

you just have to see how things develop

everything is a very slow process you just have to see how things develop

in the end  (ed. conflict on r|zen)  you just get battle fatigue, you are young, one day you will understand !

ewk is burning like a blow torch, but one day he will burn out

all for what ?

what you should get with meditation is to see your default mode patterns and get some real contemplative problem solving done

people don’t seem to do this !

i honestly don’t know what they do

. .



what you should get with meditation is to see your default mode patterns and get some real contemplative problem solving done

people don’t seem to do this !

if you don’t read quality there’s no hope !

i would describe solipsist as rational self centered, which is pretty much what people are on about anyway !

maybe not rational enough !

sepehr, your wife’s coming from a communal context, but what i am on about is solipsist !

“ harmony, mindfulness, and compassion ”  is consumerism and degeneracy

all this discussion on zen is meaningless without large amounts of solitary contemplative time  (which includes writing imo) ,  no-one on r|zen does that, there is a much larger mystical world than zen and i am sick of dealing with bad mannered thugs and outright psychotics so am not posting there anymore !

ewk writes a lot for sure, but its missionizing and not contemplative time !

the solipsist nature of what this work is about ,  it is actually irrelevant anyone’s  “ level of wisdom and contemplative depth ”

you are the universe !

the solipsist nature of what this work is about ,  it is actually irrelevant anyone’s  “ level of wisdom and contemplative depth ”

jasons has some raspberries with a tiny bit of mold and wants to know if he can just remove the moldy parts

chuck the really mouldy ones and just heat the rest to about 68°C, that will kill anything

you just don’t want too much mould as they could have heat stable toxins in

fruit moulds are generally ok, if the amount of mould is not too large and they are pasturized

moulds are fungi

mostly digestive enzymes want to be taken with or soon after the meal, but again some depends ,  no fenol  seems ok taken a bit later !

the thing about writing is its yours, you don’t have anything else and anybody else’s opinion doesn’t matter a damn

question everything

 question a question ?

question everything

question a question

write for yourself and you can never be disappointed

write for yourself and you’ll never be disappointed

a white pencil moon

swathed in a

pink filligree

a pencil moon

swathed in a

pink filligree

the sun has gone from the clouds in the east, now they are a dull grey

the fire in the west

the sun has gone from the clouds in the east, now they are a dull grey

the fire is in the west

a famous russian  film  made in 1970 ,  called  white sun of the desert

bella akhmadulina was born on the tenth of april 1937 during the peak of the  great purge

her moving  poem

maybe the poem was about her friend  bulat okudzhava  whose life certainly fits the bill !

there is an  unusual beauty  to bella !

there’s no winners except people’s ideas of who has won

quote by chuck palahniuk, from the film  ‘ fight club ’

“ If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose ? ”

my  reply

i don’t choose

go for a walk by yourself along the beach !

7th patriarch walking meditation !

go for a walk by yourself on the beach !

7th patriarch walking meditation !

go for a walk along the beach !

go for a walk on the beach !

an  interesting post  on a monero robbery !

“ this openness turned out to be an expensive error ”

sports and the armed services are full of stupid thugs out to injure you for their entertainment !

you can’t abandon  “ your conditioned mind ”  can you ?

why huineng is the founder of zen relates to his illiteracy, without the usual being lost in endless religious tracts he can only be talking about fugue states of infinity being the basis of buddhahood or whatever you want to call it !

death is always the other side of armed services, too close for comfort imo !

alcoholics are commonly deficient in  vitamin A  and thiamine !

the   wisdom  of ptahhotep

sepehr, the basic problem is you really think you know better than me despite practically no contemplative work or sufficiently thoughtful reading and the difference of opinion only results in conflict

i have had my fill of conflict !

as i say this work takes a lifetime, your arrogance i cannot nor want to deal with !

i donated blood today for the first time for six months, i’m no philanthropist, i do it to reduce my iron levels  ( Hb 139 this time around which is not too bad ! )  and reinvigorate the hematopoietic stem cells, it just amazes me that such a good free service is offered with hot chocolate even !

its important to have adequate vitamin A levels when donating so that the  “ awakened ”  hematopoietic cells turn  back off  after the rbcs are replenished and don’t permanently enter the supply pool !

to lose half a liter of blood like that is a very traumatic event whatever they say so i just went to town, donated blood and left again without any more people contact

i did fill up with diesel at forth and buy some salted hot fried potato chips, mucked around in the beautiful scenery there then went straight back, worked on the computer for an hour or so and then slept three hours

i normally do a little jog before going into the center to raise my blood pressure, i didn’t do that this time and my reading was 85/47 and she just about fell off her chair !  .  . : o) ,  a couple of squats in the interview room brought it up to 105/68, i have been blessed with a very good cardiovascular system, helped i think by my Mk7/K2   supplementation  and supplementation program in general !

interestingly in the reclining donation chair they measured my blood pressure with a stethoscope to time when they can hear the heart beat in the brachial artery in the elbow as the cuff pressure is slowly dropped !

i researched that later as it was hard  to understand  what they are doing !

jason wants a pay rise

i wouldn’t worry about the pay so much at this stage but concentrate on learning skills, to get pay rises you really have to have other jobs to go to and they can see that

with Z’s financial success you can see the way to make money is not working for a wage   .   .

knowing god

is following




knowing about god

is following




even this reply of  yours  is a shark, i’m not interested in this shit, i have stuff to work out that is light years ahead of  tom hennen

you are cruel, i have busted my brain on you this morning.  all future posts by you will be deleted and this blog is closed permanently to comments

the problem is you are dragging me through spaces i have already traversed and are of no interest to me, but there is stuff ahead to be worked out and you are not taking me into that space !

all translations are limited, not simply by the translator’s understanding but culture and time !

dogen translations i simply give up on because they are so out of touch with what he will have said and the same for ryokan !

poetry is always what its about because of the way articulated thinking is bypassed by the highly dense and associative semantics !

the problem is when you skip over stuff you disagree with with, like for my writing

its really using the reading to investigate, not as a proxy for getting  ‘ stuck in ’ ,  you use reading as a proxy for such an effect !

in effect ,  ‘ we the damaged ’  have two modes, one i call  “ waiting at the end of time ”  which is just meaningless blather and proxying , but the other, so rarely embarked on i still have trouble believing it, is to penetrate surfaces and move beyond !

sepher, zen is just full of nomenclature bullshit, the term  “ samadhi ”  is just part of that !

what it all boils down to is quality reading  (and not overwriting it with mental junk food like anime, games or  ‘ spiritual ’  crap)

and getting solitary contemplative time

i think writing is actually a form of solitary contemplative time

that’s all you have to do

what you are doing is attempting to create a methodology for this rather than talking from the decades of experience it takes to talk sensibly and effectively on the subject

i’m not joking when i say decades !

i’m not saying married with or without kids can’t come to a reasonable understanding, its just they will have limitations compared to a celibate like myself who has, at huge personal cost devoted my life to it !

so focus on your computer studies and get in a bit of quality reading and contemplative time and particularly don’t trash your time with the substandard

what has amazed me is how much better PxZ has done with a good income, i think if you are married, to have a good income, or at least the prospects of one is essential or you will get too unproductively depressed !

melanoma is  necessarily  caused by cumulative mutations in the melanocytes that then malignly activate the Hgma2 gene !

when i look at philo of alexandria and his toxic crap, judaic priests have a history of treachery that cumulated in the holocast !

the activation of desphospho-uncarboxylated matrix gla protein by vitamin K  inhibits  the calcification of the arteries and other soft tissues

sepehr, you are  a liar , you won’t open a blog or do shikantaza  (which i don’t necessarily recommend btw)  because you have never done so before

you are a failed shark stuck in pretence, a figit spinner trapped in your own inanity !

i can’t believe the way i have let you butcher my life with your totally narcissistic consumption of my best time !

sepehr  replies

I used to attend retreats all the time.  You have poor memory.  We talked about them a lot

I would have become a disciple in my Soto Zen sangha if it weren’t for their obsession with proper Lotus posture, which almost destroyed my left knee.


r e p l y

what retreats ?

(ed.  he says he did three, three day retreats)

no zen i know requires you to sit in the lotus posture.  an upright cushion or seiza is fine or even a chair

i really feel you have ewk-like lying, a constant distortion of the truth in a way that is reality denying and schizophrenic !

you are not listening to me, you are disputing me and infilling your own crap into that space !

the problem with retreats under teachers that are not enlightened which is just about all of them, is you take on a lot of stuff that really screws you up as the retreat process makes you absorptive of these things

‘ samadhi ’  is nonsense, you missionize nonsense, crazy crazy crazy !

the feral cats here

the son fucked his mother

 inbreeding galore !

i find my life extremely depressing

i don’t even want to go into it

one craziness after another

and wonderful missed opportunities

the opportunities were missed through lack of persistence

 and i persist in areas that make me unhappy   .   .   .

well i got the health stuff right   .   .   .

the armchair bullshitters bullshitting they won’t bullshit

r|zen, the armchair bullshitters bullshitting they won’t bullshit

the armchair bullshitters bullshitting they don’t bullshit

r|zen, the armchair bullshitters bullshitting they don’t bullshit

you have to have good health to be a hermit  !

you have to have good health to be a hermit !

you have to have good health to be a hermit

the last honey hunter

video       article

tim keller unknowingly  affirms  the mythicist position

“ for example with the greeks, st. paul works more with the doctrine of god and doesn’t get to christ for a long time, with the jews he doesn’t deal with that at all, doesn’t feel he needs to, he needs to get to jesus quicker ”

well that’s because the greeks won’t have any truck with hairbrained jewish archangel mythology and conversely the jews are immersed in it !

evangelism is salemanship, tim knows how to present the product !

no, i don’t understand b/c you aren’t making sense

please rephrase and explain to me what exactly you're trying to tell me.  I am genuinely interested in zen and buddhism

you don’t understand because you are not prepared to understand !

buddhism with all its bullshit will suit you !

r|zen is full of the clinically insane

most of what is called zen is projection onto voynich !

anime is escapism !

get it ?

no !

japanese culture can be really toxic, be wary !

this mania to write  “ children’s books ”  seems to me an exercise in self-esteem,

something that is not cognitively challenging and is pretty !

the web has permantly changed publishing as you might expect if you put a superb physical publishing device in every home !

book publishing, except for a tiny percentage compared to what used to be the case is unprofitable !

the big commercial success  “ shades of grey ”  sprang from its author’s web experience in fan fiction, and while the book is junk, she is a powerful writer stylistically and hit a very large market !

my blog  is open to comments again

interestingly i have stopped commenting on r|zen, people were coming across from some of the crazy subbreddits  (like r|thelema)  to tell me how wrong i am and hassle me !

the net is not normal, 50% malfunctional insane but not institutionalized i’d say !

sepehr you don’t listen to me do you ?

its such a basic, if you think i know what i am on about why don’t you listen ?

if you are god, your very omniscience creates non-omniscience

if you are god, your very omniscience creates the condition of non-omniscience

if you are god, your omniscience creates the very condition of non-omniscience

if you are god, your very condition of omniscience creates non-omniscience

zakaj  writes 

A role of a father is to protect children from their mother

my  restatement

the role of children is to protect their father from their mother

jason writes

when i was around sixteen i got my father a bottle opener with his name on it for christmas

his quiet response was  “ you all are always telling me to stop drinking and you get me this ? ”

my mother chastised him about his drinking

money spent today is not there tomorrow  !

money spent today is not there tomorrow

a reply to jason

i don’t think your father wants to live and the alcoholism is just a device to expedite it

not the best way to go about it !

sepehr, what i have found dealing with the crazies on r|zen is they skip the main points i raise, like i said you were collecting reliquaries and using me for entertainment

that is, what you are doing is nothing like what i am interested in and your behavior is that of a shark

you must have fed well because you don’t seem to want  “ to be set out to sea ”

your  “ reliquary collecting ”  has been very consistent over the years and i want nothing to do with it or you, fooled once i don’t intend to be making that mistake for the rest of my life !

you are unusual in that you have  “ visionary ability ” ,  but like your dream of getting lost in that building with a red entrance and then ending up in some bizarre space of brains in vessels outside bodies in a lab and a twisted puppet, you take wrong turns that cannot be righted

there may have been hope if you had remained unmarried but as it is you are in a different paradigm and i want to avoid  being crucified  by you !

if you can’t tell whether to go or stay show this dialogue to your wife and ask her opinion on it !

sepehr asks about me recommending these books by beatea grant   I  II   on ch’an nuns from the seventeenth century

my  reply

what good does it do you to read this stuff ?

you are just collecting  “ holy reliquaries ”

really all these years and the way you waste my time !

i finally emailed richard carrier asking

you won’t know me but i have wondered why you have never crossed swords with david bentley hart, who i would say is the leading christian apologist today, much more subtle than the people you have been used to dealing with !

i live in australasia and have no contact with him, but suspect a debate with him would draw a wide audience !

richard  replied

He can’t be that leading.  I’ve never heard of him and nothing he has written is even in the top sixty selling Apologetics on Amazon

I had to dig all the way to number seventy-six on the amazon apologetics best sellers list to find anything  by him

By contrast, Keller occasionally competes for number one and remains top ten.  That’s why I chose him to complete a blog series on instead

Why is Hart any better or more important than Keller ?  Or any of the twenty or so other more popular Christian apologists on that list ?  (Please know I really can t rebut every apologist even on the top twenty much less top one hundred; I only have time for a tiny few.  Their stuff is usually all the same anyway)

my  reply

keller is just another of the idiot clones, they are so dumb its not interesting !

david hart is orthodox and mystical and philosophical, its much more subtle than what you are used to and will extend you !

he has some videos on youtube, worth going through if just to improve your debating skills and thinking !

I   II   III   IV

the intellectual and popular are different cultures !

just a btw, your work has been very helpful to me, i was brought up in church boarding schools and i can now piece together the bible is quite a different way !

a real life who dunnit, way more interesting than the fictional !

the murder or accidental shooting of  william desmond taylor

what you are in opposition to

will to some extent define you

be careful !

what you are in opposition to, will to some extent define you

be careful !

what you are in opposition to, will to some extent define you

the intellectual and popular are different cultures !

the intellectual and popular are different cultures

so as we get older we dissolve  into a welter  of oxidative stress !

“ the mood of young adults  (18-29 years of age)  appear to be driven by diet and lifestyle elements that increase availability of neurotransmitter precursors and their concentrations in the brain

a sufficient meat intake and regular exercise are promoting of mood in these young adults !

in mature adults over thirty, the critical determinants of mood were the availability of antioxidants  (obtained through fruit intake)  and the avoidance of foods and dietary practices that activate the sympathetic nervous system

these include coffee, high-carbohydrate intake  (particularly high glycaemic index carbs)  and skipping breakfast ” 

$450 million was an obscene price for what was quite likely not painted by leonardo, i thought at the time, it must be a very wealthy buyer with way more money than sense and it turns out  it was  !

this chateau  looks much better value !

“ do you have your eyes on god ?  he has his eyes on you ”

my  comment

 he can’t be easily bored !

a very good  photo  taken in the newton center, massachucetts, by lorianne disabato

so illustrative of the relationship between women and men, yes we all are faceless morphs !

the  bog post  her photo comes from

jason  writes

sometimes i get advice and i just scoff

then i look back some time in the future and i think

well that was actually good advice

more  boring insanity  from the catholic church !

the jesuits are notorious for paedophilia btw !

just because you can correct everything, doesn’t mean you should

infinite  truth

what is that ?

the truth of infinity

what is that ?

infinite truth

what is it ?

the truth of infinity

what is it ?

i don’t think you are a narcissist ,  but basically the world is one endless narcissist ,  what do you do ?

i don’t think you are a narcissist ,  but the world is basically one endless narcissist ,  what do you do ?

i don’t think you are a narcissist ,  but the world is one endless narcissist ,  what do you do ?

ok, i’m not posting on r|zen anymore

yet another  follower  with a clear agenda to troll me !

the basic problem with r|zen is not ewk, but the mods, basically their lack of control favours the buji viewpoint ewk promulgates so in effect the mods are biased in a certain  “ political ”  direction !

the mods will be happy to see me gone !

i think i’ll have to stop reading r|zen as well, its damaging to read the shit they write, one takes it on board unless one is there in the fray denying the bullshit

so any readers there are caught, dammed if they do take part and dammed if they don’t

you can spend years doing a plumbing course, but basically there’s only one skill, undoing things !

An old master is at the funeral of one of his friends.  He is weeping.  One of his students is shocked at the old master's expression of emotion.  He asks the master  “ Where is your equanimity ? ”  The master replies  “ Let me grieve my friend ! ”

if he had a friend he wasn’t a zen master !

this shit  (jason, being unable to change a tap washer, getting a dog groomer to clip his dog’s nails when he should have done them himself)  is the real zen, solving real life problems and not walking away from the too hard

If you meet a Zen master on the road and you want to greet them but you can't use words or gestures, how do you greet them ?

the answer to the koan is you have already greeted them !

historically zen was the deconstruction of buddhism and the reconstruction incorporating greek philosophy

What is enlightenment ?

the infusion of infinity into a small brain that can barely cope with what comes

the problem with card games is skilled people can cheat and you can’t tell

ewk titles a quote from the record of tung-shan

Dongshan teaches true Zen meditation

and then quotes

A monk asked  :  What is the proper questioning and answering ?

When it doesn’t come from the mouth  :  replied Dongshan

If someone were to question you, would you answer or not ?  :  asked the monk

I’ve never been questioned  :  replied the Master

my  reply

A monk asked  :  What is the proper questioning and answering ?

there is no proper questioning and answering  :  replied the 7th patriarch

the monk was dumbfounded !

°       °       °       °       °       °       °       °       °

grass_skirt opined that  “ dumbfounded monks need a support group ”

my comment was that generally they become abbotts !

r|zen seems like a honeypot for attracting the narcissistic insane  !

. .




r|zen seems like a honeypot for attracting the narcissistic insane  !

r|zen seems like a honeypot for attracting the narcissistic insane

“ you don’t need to read any scriptures ”

well i think you need to read scriptures just to see how wrong they are !

r|zen is a conglomeration of the insane, narcissistic, pathological liars, the inattentive, failed bullshit artists, druggists   .   .   .

its a conglomeration of the insane, narcissistic, pathological liars, the inattentive, failed bullshit artists, druggists   .   .   .

r|zen is is infested with chronic brainless narcissists

a man will take orders from the mother of his children and not much else

the authentic zen is celibate, anything married with kids is just bullshit

you of all people know that !

the authentic zen is celibate, anything married with kids is just bullshit

neither of your teachers were enlightened !

the transmission system has meant that zen is infested with idiots who think they understand what zen is about !

the sixth patriarch was illiterate and i suspect joshu and more than few of the other  “ masters ”  were to

zen says become enlightened yourself, no depending on the quotes of others

what zen master pushed bad translations ?

new age is passé, even as a criticism !

new age is passé, even as a criticism

“ for you ”

isn’t you an illusion ?

too easy ?

let me guess, the tool box is empty as you try to hammer in a nail with your thumb !

“ when its ultimate truth is in its abandonment ”

not bad, but not really right !

ultimately it circumvents the impossibly of you being  “ infinity ”

the ultimate truth is the abandonment of approaches

“ when zen’s ultimate truth is in its abandonment ”

not bad, but not really right !

ultimately it circumvents the impossibly of you being  “ infinity ”

the ultimate truth is the abandonment of approaches

caring doesn’t have levels, though i don’t know what it is !

caring doesn’t have levels, though i don’t know what it is !

wikis are co-operative, they are not personally owned like a reddit OP or comment !

william carlos williams  :  a poem is a small machine made out of words

yup that’s what i do

 a small machine is exactly what  this poem  is !

zen masters deny   ‘ zen is a tool ’

zen patriarchs get upset when the notion is mentioned

idiots spew it as right !

zen masters deny zen is a tool

zen patriarchs get upset when the notion is mentioned

idiots spew it as right !

you probably haven’t had much opportunity to be out in a rural or coastal area in moonlight, no houses around ?

so that’s  “ i am the moon ”  and if you really feel it, its a form of death !

i am death i am dying

i’m the moon i am crying

i am death i am dying

i am the moon i am crying

the  poem  is about beauty and death, you likely find it too much to handle and resist being drawn into it

its the other side of suicide is a way of explaining it !

that’s where the zen patriarchs live, too much for the  “ norms ”  i am afraid !

i am death i am dying

i am the moon i am crying

i like this poem, its to do with beauty and death

the idiot man



his guts




the crazy girl

obsesses about



missing her



 at home !

claims are easily made, the facts can be different !

like all roads, that goes two ways

well don’t leave your way untraveled !

sand motor  will be  a useful  technique in new zealand with all its sandy beaches !

the notion of  “ zen master ”  is an illusion !

same for any  ‘ religious ’  priest !

the notion of  “ zen master ”  is an illusion

same for any  ‘ religious ’  priest

the notion of  “ zen master ”  is an illusion !

the notion of  “ zen master ”  is an illusion

they all hate me, but they are all looking for my approval, what the fuck   .   .   !  ?

they all hate me, but they are all looking for my approval, what the fuck   .   .  ?

yeah conflict  (ed. on r|zen)  creates its own seeming reality, the question is always whether the time is better spent and actually i know for sure i should be doing other things

there’s around and around to the same place or around and around to a different place !

How do we do either ?

you are not aware of returning patterns in your life ?

there’s around and around to the same place or around and around to different places !

there’s around and around to the same place or around and around to a different place !

i think you get very different answers about what zen is depending on who you ask, i really don’t think anyone can override public domain use which varies !

unless you are an r|zen don quixote ! (ewk,  dhammakayaram, druggists etc !)

jason, you are not earning much, you really have to be parsimonious with what you buy, you seem to have some mental blocks that you are very slow to pick up on, poor reality orientation

you saw the problems with having to work too hard for too little money and substandard accomodation in rural massachucetts

you are not getting you are below the poverty line

i worked my guts out for years earning below the poverty line, not making that mistake again !

why hasn’t that sunk in ?

without the free accomodation your father supplies you would be in big trouble !

you are not earning much, you really have to be parsimonious with what you buy, you seem to have some mental blocks that you are very slow to pick up on, poor reality orientation

huh ,  the origins  of the  “ silent illumination ”  heresy, goes right back to the dawn of zen with hongren !

this is not zen and the sixth/first patriarch represents a distinct break !

philosophically ,  ‘ individuation’  is a screw up of plato !

aristotle  eat plato’s dust  !

philosophically ,    ‘ individuation’  is a screw up of plato !

you’re another fuckwit  meta’ing  like it means something

brain damaged in spades  (ed.  from very extensive drug use)  and can’t admit it !

Isn’t it egotistical to say  “ Zen is the TRUE way ”  ?

I have seen many zen buddhists and authors saying zen is the true way.  Isn’t it egotistical ?  How we know that zen is true ?

its not !

why should it be ?

however there is a true way that can be seen in hindsight but not the projection called foresight !

such a strong looking woman i thought, but she died at the age of 44 from anorexia and amphetamines

maya deren

what zen master confused enlightenment with lsd ?

drug users are narcissistic, never seen an exception !

so full of themselves yet they need to post on r|zen !

i think substances damage the brain, that’s the objection !

my grandfather had type 2 diabetes and was heavily overweight

he spent his last years watching the teletubbies !

 no ! no! i will  not be    .   .   .

sorta hypnotic really but the rabbits grazing in daylight spoils the hypnotic effect with too jarring a dys-synchronicity with reality   .   .   .

type 2 diabetes is quite avoidable apparently

“ remission  was achieved in 86% of participants who lost 15 kg, while 73% of subjects losing at least 10 kg also reversed their diabetes ”

fat people do not want to lose weight, yet complain about the consequences !

extant    =    existance

russia, land of  gratuitous  violence !

i . will . have . the . last . word


ewk, anyone with half a brain occasionally asks the  “ why ”  of what they do, you never do apparently !

anyone with half a brain occasionally asks the  “ why ”  of what they do, you never do apparently !

jason asks if i always try to breathe with expanding my stomach ?

never, except once you learn how to do it, it comes naturally when you need to

do you notice you have to tell me how i should and shouldn’t feel ?

i take you are not married or in a relationship ?

do you notice you have to tell me how i should and shouldn’t feel ?

i  “ mediate/contemplate ”  for about three hours a day and have done so for years

do you notice how you are trying to tell me how i feel ?

i gotta admit, i have never been a fan of the platform sutra, but when i read it, its really unique and has to come from a really different person who wasn’t afraid  “ to tell it like it is ”

the raison d’etres of r|zen

spewing endless quotes makes me intelligent and enlightened despite all my drug taking and stupidity

inane hubric comments make me intelligent and enlightened despite all my drug taking and stupidity

complete control of content hopefully achieved by endless bashing of what i don’t like makes me an enlightened master

dumb adulation of the person just above because i’m so lazy i can’t even be bothered to think makes me an enlightened master

the essence of zen which is intelligent contemplation is so far away from my ideas of what zen is about i must always attack it aggressively !

nothing is so narrow that it can’t be made narrower !

“ On January the sixteenth, 1778, Christel von Lassberg, the daughter of a court official in Weimar who was embroiled in an unhappy love affair, jumped from a bridge into the icy waters of the River Ilm and drowned

A copy of Werther was found in her pocket  —  or was that only a rumor too ?

At all events ,  Goethe  was summoned from a nearby pond where he was skating with the duke  (how cold the river must have been) ,  and he immediately ordered a grotto to be dug in memory of the unlucky girl

He wielded a pickaxe and shovel himself and told his platonic lover Charlotte von Stein that they worked deep into the night

‘ In the end I continued alone until the hour when she had died; that’s the kind of evening it was

Orion stood so beautifully in the sky  .  .  .  there is something dangerously attractive and inviting about this grief, like the water itself, and the reflection of the stars of heaven that shines from both ’ ”

my  comment

for love to be quenched in the cold waters is the truth

what is this  “ no-god ”  you atheists worship ?

i think it was buddha who said  :  don’t even start

muhammad to isis actually !

you have the right ward, dunning_kruger hell, but this is the outright_psychotic floor and you need failed_artist, two floors down

why be a buddhist to be reincarnated as an insect ?

personally i’m going for jehovah’s witnesses, even non believers can get paradise on earth !

“ is the self to be found in the putative fact that conscious states are  reflexively aware  of themselves, or does it live in the penumbra of conscious experience, or in the mechanisms that sustain consciousness ? ”

ewk, the way you distort everything is pathological, a con artist makes money from what they do, you derive anti-benefit from this bad habit !

basically nothing gets through to you, you are mentally ill !

: o (

ewk, the way you distort everything is pathological, a con artist makes money from what they do, you derive anti-benefit from this bad habit !

the way you distort everything is pathological, a con artist makes money from what they do, you derive anti-benefit from this bad habit !

“ No lie  :  I have been working on some problems before bed and solved them in my dream ”

dreaming very occasionally has mystical content, but its not the norm, without meditative or contemplative work, what zen is about will always remain foreign to you !

“ like ”  is not a reason we do a lot of things 

 i can’t say i like meditation or contemplation !

“ like ”  is not a reason we do a lot of things 

 i can’t say i like meditation or contemplation

“ like ”  is not the reason we do a lot of things ! 

 i can’t say i like meditation or contemplation !

“ like ”  is not the reason we do a lot of things 

 i can’t say i like meditation or contemplation

what i notice with meditation is a lot of people waste their time, they are too busy doing things !

i really like the term  ‘ instructionless ’  with reference to it !

any medicinal benefit of pot is before the  “ high stage ”  and in most cases well before !

the high stage is brain damage, particularly the hippocampus !

“ smoking also led to a less active  hippocampus ,  which is the area of the brain associated with storing and retrieving memories ”

“ what zen master uttered the koan, what is the sound of one hand clapping ? ”

lol, one lip flapping ! : o)

jason, you struck it lucky with james, you won’t ever find such a good manager again in your working life !

the pays not much but you can turn that to your advantage by using some company time to advance your knowledge and skills, in other words paying yourself in future income

please don’t waste your time on motorcycles !

i don’t understand your second paragraph, could you explain what you mean by using company time ?

if you do something that having as skill adds value, take extra time to improve your skill or understanding, this may involve probing others for knowledge

i think james understands that too, he explains and shows things more than once

i’m always asking questions if i’m wondering why they’re doing something

what seems abnormal, obscene, dangerous or threatening to one generation seems normal to the next

what seems obscene or dangerous or threatening to one generation seems normal to the next

what seems obscene to one generation seems normal to the next

ewk, you really are an arsehole, you totally disrespect the time anyone puts into a reply to you, just spammy cut and paste responses then back to final fantasy XV ?

you really are an arsehole, you totally disrespect the time anyone puts into a reply to you, just spammy cut and paste responses then back to final fantasy XV ?

the only way you will make sense of zen outside its riffraff public domain use, like zen restaurant, or cool or whatever is to ask what zen is about !

its very simple ,  its the mystical reconstruction of buddhism and daoism in the same way you have christian or islamic/sufi mysticism !

so you are basically asking what is the mystical reality at the core of these traditions and its not going to vary one iota between them

that is a life’s work !

one advantage zen has over christian and islamic mysticism is the really tolerant religious environment that china was in those days, call jesus or muhammad a shit stick, you can already smell your burning flesh !

also zen is heavily influenced by greek and indo-greek philosophy coming along the silk road !

hieroglyphs and the  sumerian tablets  are a testimony to how persistent writing can be

literal time machines from four to five thousand years ago

writing  the true voynich  can get you killed by the old voynich

“ Are there any zen texts for kids under the age of five ? ”

zen is a disease, read something worthwhile like a.a milne !

anything religious fucks children up !

the inflated fake

stuck for words

or even

the ability to


what is posted to him




i think you really have to think about the probability of your having a serious accident on a motorcycle, in your case it seems quite high

for one thing you would be starting riding too late

unlike you i have had countless hours on farm bikes as a teenager, the skill never leaves you

endless the spewing religious bullshit

countless the morons repeating it




 i guess !

endless the spewing zen bullshit

countless the morons repeating it




 i guess !

motorcycles have horrendous magnetic fields because the electronic ignition is usually right under the drivers seat !

humans can’t do anything without conflict it makes you weep

you can’t do anything without conflict it makes you weep

you have deeper issues than being stupid !

true !

i’ve always been told how smart i am !

in my family its  NOT  a compliment, but an indictment !

well, we have a commonality, at one place i worked i was consistently told that if i was any smarter, i’d be dangerous !

a sorta smart-stupid i guess, i’ve been that way all my life !

the best sort of woman is one who never replies but waits for cirumstances to make an apt reply

what are my themes ?

life is cruel, failure is the norm, everybody is mistaken in the process of becoming more mistaken  ̲    ̲    ̲    ̲ 

this is the swirl of dust simone weil calls god

what are my themes ?

life is cruel, failure is the norm, everybody is mistaken in the process of becoming more mistaken  ̲    ̲    ̲    ̲ 

i think music is part of alma deutsher’s emotionality, they are not distinguishable

simply to be herself, female and run through the emotions as they do will generate tunes and melodies

its a bit kinesthetic as well

i feel there’s a slight discordance there which would figure with her being on autistic spectrum !

she can have hardly been rejected but seems to feel rejection very strongly, its a theme in her operas !

real zen masters use their own words

stupid demented fakes dribble the words of others

brain injured ex footballers advise to read the words of others

politics is just another process of  self-identity  !

politics is just another process of self-identity !

when you get entangled in the lives of others you can’t see the entanglement, its only outside the involvement you can see the entanglement

you have deeper issues than being stupid !

mentally ill people are sharks, they eat you alive with their hubric needs !

mentally ill people are sharks, they eat you alive with their hubric needs

you’re hubric stupid in spades !

you’re hubric stupid in spades

sepehr, you are a shark, you have spilled my time to no value and at huge cost to myself !

things can go really wrong in life, its a shock to realise this !

things can go really wrong in life, its a shock to realise this

you’re a retarded child caught in an unfriendly jungle of trash !

What is the purpose of this comment of yours ?

you are in denial ?

you’re a retarded child caught in an unfriendly jungle of trash !

why people write idiocy until the end of time is beyond me

People, sure, but what about you ?  Why do you write  .  .  .  what you write ?

writing is a form of conciousness that involves memory more persistently than conciousness

so its really an extension of conciousness

the quality of that extension matters

why people write idiocy until the end of time is beyond me

the problem is your lack of research and having easy opinions on what it takes decades to think about !

existance is what non-existance vacated

since infinity is everything, it must also be what its not

how can it be what its not ?

what its not manifests as a denial of what it is !