this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don’t warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems  index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of  the page

audio files can be complemented by listening to them  with the eyes closed  !

the wayback machine is a  “ more atoms than the universe has ”  project

astounding in its presumptiom

as to what its application is i can’t say

cats only relate to people as  ‘ supercats ’

zen is a reconstruction in terms of greek philosophy and christian theology and it does this by the hidden sleight of inaccurate translations

interestingly christianity was introduced into china around the time of the 6th patriarch and was successful to the extent it had to be suppressed by the state

greek philosophy came along the silk road from the greco-bactrian empires, alexander’s long lasting foot print

the well known statues of buddha with fine pleated robes is derived from greek statuary, a meaningful symbolism in this case

the truth of mysticism is that any object such as god, the absolute, whatever, creates more of a problem than it solves

“ infinity ”  however is ok because that is a process, one foot after another forever, its tangible

so many translations to english bear no relation to the original, the sense has been reworked to fit the western cultural dream which as it happens is pretty parmenidean greek

not a bad choice as far as theological-philosophical schemas go, but still voynich

so many zen translations to english bear no relation to the original, the sense has been reworked to fit the western cultural dream which as it happens is pretty parmenidean greek

not a bad choice as far as theological-philosophical schemas go, but still voynich

one of the most annoying things in writing, especially involving information is when they first tell you what is wrong without telling you that it is wrong and then telling you its wrong and what follows is right

you have put all your attention into absorbing the wrong view and have no brain sugars left for the right

paedophilia is a misaligned artifact of evolutionarily designed parental care in males

what works well for presbyopia is micro-monovision which is say .5 to 1.0 add in the eye it works best in which is usually, but not always the dominant eye

maybe some cylinder adjustment is needed as well ?

it retains stereoscopic vision in these low amounts of add, the downside is headaches in some

monogamy   :   being ripped apart by one woman

polygamy   :   being ripped apart by more than one woman

yes, it makes you wonder doesn’t it

the big red flag i have about soto zen is they make no allowance for the developmental progress of eihei dogen, everything he writes is treated as gospel regardless of the fact he had substantial changes of opinion over his life, but just like christians with the bible they take what suits them and one ends up with a twisted tangled mess

also eihei died relatively young for the sort of time scales zen requires so you have this  “ dark matter ”  of what he yet to get to

the soto view is that enlightenment happens once and that from then on the views are fixed, but, from my experience that is not the case at all, enlightenment experiences are many and one’s views change quite radically over time and actually it fits quite well with a process of continuing insight

the vast sea of voynich wherein all seem to sink

that hidden third category that captures the diverts from truth and falsity

all the  “ meta ”  religious and philosophical talk is absolute bloody crap

why do they so  waste  their lives ?

actually david is attempting to define  “ personal ”  away from commonly accepted usage, a sure marker for schizophrenia, a sophisticated schizophrenia, i’ll have to say that for him

i have always wondered about him, he very intelligent and in a sense rational, but the positions he takes are crazy and easily exploded by looking outside his usual contexts

can i write a poem ?

i can’t write a poem

except i’m writing a poem

now

don’t hold in sneezes, you embolize the lungs, sneeze into a handkerchief if you don’t want to spread the germs so the air moves freely out of the lungs

a  syllabub

how to  make  one

a jane austen type food perhaps ?

annabel is way more sensible than nigella who i think is a bit schizophrenic since she seems oblvious to unhealthy ingredient and food combinations

the lives of the famous must be a bit strange

the wall between real life and the fake

becomes a bit thin

the lives of the famous must be a bit strange

the wall between the real life and the fake

becomes a bit thin

if you write a lot

you are going to have a statistical spread of quality

from the

bottom

to

the top

if i could be like parmenides

escorted to heaven by two lovely maidens, lectured by a beautiful goddess

on how to out-talk the world

and percipience in the face of its treachery

i’d

become

a

philosopher

too

if i could be like parmenides

escorted to heaven by two lovely maidens, lectured by a beautiful goddess

on how to out-talk the world

and percipience in the face of its treachery

i

think

i’d

become

a

philosopher

too

to think rationally

about ourselves

seems a minimal ability

but

its

not

to write a good poem, you don’t have to write much, but it helps

to write good prose takes at least twenty years of writing

all the idiots of fragmented attention

applauding

fragmented attention

women can tell the change in smell of men from season to season

fancy having to deal with that shit

well, there is something, then there isn’t something, but in another sense there always is something

philosophy is basically godless, god is an extraneous concept that once was needed to justify the social stability of kings

its simple, there’s only me

if only there weren’t those other voices in my head

islam is a reconstruction of christianity to solve a problem we are still unconciously aware of today when we recite the creed

you cut a rose, yet it doesn’t bleed red

islam is a reconstruction of christianity away from flawed notions of a divided god into flawed notions of an undivided god

we seek an explanation for the world in our own terms

what was misaligned becomes more misaligned

honestly ,  i feel parmenides was a practical joker and left a pile of word puzzles to entertain  later generations

the ancient greeks were not burdened with too serious an idea of god, it took medieval torture chambers and burning to do that

it gave them a freedom to be simple and direct, parmenides and heraclitus are the best examples of that

the convolutions of medieval theology were born of violence and the stupidity of the violent

to exist is to be corrected and in need of correction

things can only exist in a certain way

of course that implies they can  ½  exist or  ¼  exist in a certain way

it is absolutely mind boggling what medieval scholars spent their entire lives  arguing about

the problem with knowledge is it goes too far in too many directions, a self similar plane where you can be anywhere and it all looks much the same

a cut rose doesn’t last

its beauty won’t support it

its petals fold

a cut rose doesn’t last

its beauty won’t support it

the petals fold

cut roses don’t last

their beauty doesn’t support them

the petals fold away

i don’t know i am entirely happy with this sequence, but all my poems are like that, you can rush through it and they seem nothing or the mood can shift and draw you into it

maybe only the plural version has what it takes ?

the photographer has made a very good  portrait ,  even if the colour balance is not right ,  its thematic, with the single rose versus the bunch, the nature of the rose’s colouring and the posing of lana says something too

its art and tells a story

i guess large screens are the medium for  jason’s artwork ,  if you were going to sell it, you need to be able to program in other stuff as his work would be tiring to have on a wall all day with just the same repeating scene

as is, it works very well in an exhibition so i guess its more like an  “ installation ”  even though it doesn’t take much space

some people continue to develop their understanding

most others don’t

and reach for their clubs and pistols when questioned

some people continue to develop their understanding

most others don’t

some people continue to develop their understanding

others don’t

at the beach

sandcastles of meaning built

invested beyond their bare sand

then washed away

the net is full  of this ,  low language ability, depression and poor mental health

you have to be oh so careful picking your way through this insane land with its boundaries toxically perverted

why are quality poetry and homilies, if not actually disliked by even sensible people, avoided ?

its a push pull problem

effective imagery bypasses the usual filters and goes straight into the brain where it causes major pileups and crashes on the various roads of a person’s theories of mind

the stupidity of age is one gets pointlessly busy with everything

most dreams evaporate as neither realistic nor wanted upon a little probing

douglas adams must have been referring to the  diophantine equation  when   ‘ deep thought ’  gave the answer to the question  “ what is the meaning of life the universe and everything ”

the joke is on the reader and the problem has now  been solved  with a latter day  deep thought  and indeed the last of the answers below 100 are 33 and 42

its actually a wonderfully subtle set of allusions and references by douglas even transgressing successfully into voynich

still more  to do

manic or on  amphetamines

which ?

the degree of crossover between lyrics and poetry is interesting

there’s an intrinsic vacuity to lyrics because increased semantic density creates interference with the mood of the music, so the awarding of the nobel prize to bob dylan was very mistaken

well the swedish goverment paid a large sum to an already wealthy man to raise an interesting topic

bob dylan’s no fool, hence his reserve about receiving the inappropriate prize, but they thrust it down his throat, what would any reasonable man do ?

there has been an explosion of knowledge and medical research in the last ten years, overturning a lot of currently accepted paradigms, but medical people in general seem completely uninterested in keeping up with the changed knowledge, relying only on their own experience

you need both and given there is a gap, it pays to do your own researching for any problems you have

why people don’t research their medical problems on the net is beyond me, it empowers one to be in the driver’s seat and less of a victim to imperfect advice

pot smoking inducts mutations in sperm with the  altered gene  possibly contributing to autism

blue light filters in optics affect the circadian rhythm and in some people to quite  an extreme degree

writing lyrics and literary quality poetry are mutually exclusive skills, there may be exceptions but bob dylan wasn’t one

not to mention the plagiarism

there was a lot of fall out for the committee, what were they thinking ?

it is narcissistic to express an opinion without providing back-up reasoning

long train journeys enforce the contemplative on us, maybe this is the nostalgic appeal of them, some  “ do nothing ”  time

interestingly air travel expends a considerable effort on entertainment to keep us   “ cocooned ”  in various distractive nonsense

just an opinion, but the poems  are flat ,  its a different and more impecunious skill than lyric writing, requiring more semantic density and more  “ correctness ” ,  i don’t think its possible to straddle both skills though maybe sappho did ?

many dresses to choose and make  ‘ one ’

doing nothing about everything

falls

in

the gap

there is a difference between poems and lyrics

lyrics are weak compared to poems because they are an adjunct to the mood of the music

its just the natural order of things

margaret cavendish is a bit  brutal

from a time when a benign death from old age was uncommon

migraine is associated with  alzheimer’s disease ,  but not vascular dementia

whooppee !

does the phrase  “ having an axe to grind ”  mean anything to you ?

if you are open to it, posting on reddit is an opportunity to develop social skills

women don’t understand themselves, be guided by what they do and their circumstances rather than talk

i never have an intention of writing a poem

if i had an intention i could see it coming, but i can’t

i might see where it has come from, but as to when it turns up, i can never tell

i never have an intention of writing a poem

if i had an intention i could see it coming, but i can’t

i might see where it has come from, but when it turns up, i never can tell

death

a conceptual stupidity

promulgated

forever

one of the huge advantages of the net compared to book publishing is you can correct in real time whereas with books you have to wait until the next edition

the problem with real errors is they have to occur and then be seen, at some point careful preparatory checking will have to fail, its only when the writing is published that some errors will emerge, not before

its not only the economics of the web, but the overwhelming superiority of its features as a publishing medium that dooms books

oddly compelling, hikikomori before its time

the man who sleeps   based on georges perec’s book of the same name

georges was directly involved in the film, you can see the difference, its very much the author’s work

films of books are usually so weak because they are so removed from what gave rise to them

“ I was a Marine stationed kinda by Las Vegas.  Once a year we had the Marine Corps ball there.  We were infantrymen, and periodically went to war.  Our parties were apocalyptic

But every time, every single time that I was in vegas, there would be this moment where I totally understood the reason for the title "fear and loathing" in Hunter S. Thompson's book.  I'd be drunk as shit with a stripper who looked like  giselle  from Victoria's Secret grinding on me and a guy in a fancy tux waiting on me hand and foot and realise, with the same dawning horror as a swimmer realising those aren't dolphins, but sharks circling closer, that I am surrounded  by predators

If you've ever really partied hard in vegas you'll know what I mean.  This brief moment of clarity where you realise its all a facade, that you've just blown three months pay on a single hour's entertainment, and that all of these people in fact despise and look down on you and are only there for as long as your money keeps coming.  Its a very sobering moment

Year three I quit going to the ball in Las Vegas, and will never go back there again.  That place is deeply sick, and I can't unsee what those moments of clarity revealed ”

artistic ability equals damage plus competence

the net gives such voice to the damaged only shrieking their inanities everywhere

its really hard to get used to and you need to publish away from these monsters

when you get more competent at something, you see it more mechanistically and less superstitiously

when you start to get more competent at something, you see it more mechanistically and less superstitiously

when you start to get more competent at something, you see it more mechanistically

laura and anton   la vie en rose

there’s an interesting point as to whether people should be left alone with their pretensions

as to whether we should be left alone with our pretensions

“ you can’t think not being ”

i can think not being

jason  writes

in the country there are wild animals, in the cities there are wild people

men trade getting in a relationship for many pursuits

a poem by sappho, or all we know of it

your laugh is like silk and honey

that to hear starts my heart shaking beneath my breasts

to look at you stops my tongue

my speech becomes garbled

suddenly a subtle fire ignites my skin

i can’t see and a whirring whistle thrums

i’m a trembling mess covered by sweat

i’m more lush than the grass yet i’m dying

no wonder women chase orgasms, what’s surprising is they do anything else

the gum tree

splattered in silver

the leaves slow moving

like the late afternoon

the gum tree

splattered with silver

the leaves slow moving

like the late afternoon

oh god, i sat down by my bed and recited an explanation to myself, so lifting myself out of my usual reluctance to write, here it goes

i was standing out the back by the clothes line and about two hundred meters away was the gum tree in question standing by itself in the paddock, its really quite big and i noticed the leaves were like silver so that was the first two lines

the gumtree

splattered with silver

but it could have been

splattered in silver

and then i noticed the wind was moving the leaves and branches, not a lot but it was mesmerising, really a sense of a different space, so that was the next line

the leaves slow moving

then i thought, what is the import of all this and that is the last line

like the late afternoon

there’s a distance and fugue to late afternoon; long shadows, abatement, that sense of infinity

what’s odd is i have been repeating this poem to myself for days, hardly remembering at first, now i know it by heart, i don’t know why i am doing this

john milton basically created a more rational and insightful form of christianity

that was, until the real life versions of it formed

jehovah’s witnesses and the mormons

some-one makes an assertion

you don’t make a counter assertion but ask a question that if the person making the assertion follows though will lead to a contradiction to the original assertion

this fits in very well with the  “ free energy principle ” ,  you are leading them to a perception of flaws in their  “ theory of mind ”  structure and actually people find that pretty frightening, you can see what you are dealing with by their response to that, some people can take it like physical assault

the stars align

it quickly passes

change is left

the stars align

something changed

this woman  stole a cow 

“ first, she had to walk two times around the square with a stolen cow  (public shaming), then she received six blows with a branch  (physical punishment)

You might think that it is a mild measure.  But, she lost all credibility in her community.  And that is very bad for any future business and personal relations.  This is not staged for the tourists or media, this is how they really live today  —  from dresses to Mayan punishments.  according to the text on the video, it says that if she repeats any crime, she would be expelled from the community ”

this point  about being caught in malfunctional dreams, yet life is a malfunctional dream

he belongs to the  “ if it can’t be diagnosed by medicine, the problem is a delusion ”  school

you can visit  “ ozymandias ”  aka  “ ramsses the great ”  in the egyptian museum

a curious inversion of shelly’s poem, but it illustrates well how shelly’s creation is actually his own mythology rather than an historical person

a lot of literary references are like this

john keat’s grecian urn is another example

its interesting to compare shelly’s poem with that of his friend horace smith, one of the great poems versus a failed one, you can see how horace’s  version  is just clunky from the way the words are put together, but shelly’s just flows

it might seem facetitous but this is basically how technology has changed the cost structure of music, its way way much cheaper  to layer  like this than hire muscicans

witty

i feel like i have embarked on a vast landscape, that of quality contemporary authors, i don’t read them but watch interviews

its almost, but not quite sterile, maybe a bit better than that, but there’s something missing, its not the way i write though they make salient points that i have also noticed in my writing

i don’t have writers block, i don’t have an audience, i’m ahead of the play

karl ove knausgård  meanders  on

nina simone  singing  her  “ backlash blues ”  with lyrics by her friend langston hughes

an interesting  interview  with her

the beliefs of both the mormons and jehovah’s witnesses owe a lot to john milton and his writings

where we go

we don’t know

beyond and above

what suits the dove

down and below

what suits del diablo

left and right

what suits the wind sprite

air and rock are empty

what we find

just comes around again

ed.  the spanish is pronounced deeablo and the phrase means  “ of the devil ”

“ are there any known cases of divorce by women in ancient greece ? ”

you would think divorcing in a culture that had medea in its myths would make one think twice

the interesting thing about sylvia plath is there were far more benign versions of her life

they didn’t happen

the cruelty of infinity

if we are not careful we can have a tendency to create in hindsight how our life should have been

it is just another empty form of nostalgia

jeff koons and damien hirst are the world’s best salesmen of bad art clichés

who knew it would be so lucrative, even they were surprised what they could put over to the dumb rich

R. I. P.

he had something missing and extra upstairs

we have a lifetime of unexamined stuff

they need to be examined

the problem with existance is it has to occur and it can only occur in certain ways, you are sorta stuck with things being the way they are

your world is one where you can’t be wrong, what can i say ?

you can only have a sensible argument if both parties are rational

how rare that is

still, it occurs

i don’t know what you are expecting me to do, you are not rational and you are expecting me to agree with your irrationality

a  real life   “ alita ”

genetic i think, an anomaly, but existant, like twelfth nights identical male and female twins, art imitates life and life imitates art

kaarina kaikkonen, not full of the usual artistic bullshit ,  refreshing  to listen to

i was just thinking, when i climbed ayres rock, because it was closed  (i jumped the barrier) ,  i was the only person on it

ayres rock is being closed to climbing but the olgas are more sacred, real dreaming country

you can feel the dreaming but people miss it, or assume its something else

whenever i do something new, there’s always some close call with a major disaster and not necessarily a close call

my journey around australia

going through the landscape

like a waif

or spirit

more dreamtime than the aborigines

a lot of things you have to wait and see what happens

if you strike too early you will be hitting phantom targets

a lot of things you have to wait and see what happens

if you strike too early you may be hitting phantom targets

the whole argumentum system breaks down if one side cannot understand the other

the road out is quite different from the road back

“ i’m not wrong ”

a little zen koan for you

even einstein was wrong

i get all these people on reddit responding to me when they clearly don’t understand what i have said

my reply to one

maybe you have attention issues ?

just read the thread slowly and maybe again a day later and the meaning of what i wrote will come to you

you are not accepting you have reading comprehension difficulties, but that is the case

ask someone in real life you know to read the thread and explain it to you

well, this is a typical situation on message boards, we both have firm contrary positions

you can’t resolve it by continual arguing, so if you are really interested in the possibility you are wrong, referees are needed

so my suggestion is you get an intelligent person in real life, some-one with a high reading age to give you their opinion, maybe they could even reply in the thread

please help  :  blue light filter coating causing fatigue, confusion, drowsiness, and focus issues ?

i  (ed. early 20's? north vancouver, male, 6'1")  just recently picked up my new glasses and i’ve been having some issues with them, there was a slight change in my prescription but nothing too different

my vision is extremely clear and my eyes don’t feel like they are straining

however with my glasses off even though my vision is worse my attentiveness, alertness and general energy is way higher

when i am wearing my glasses within minutes it makes me feel like my mind is in the clouds, i have troubles focusing, and my energy levels sink to where i feel i need to sleep

and as soon as i take my glasses off my energy levels feel back to normal and i can think clearly and focus

if i woke up from a 8-14 hour sleep and did my normal routine in the morning only minutes after putting the glasses back on would i feel like i was already needing to nap

my glasses do help me see close up and at distance however they make me so disoriented like i’m drunk, not in the sense of distorted vision, but delayed reaction and disorientation

other things i’m noticing while wearing the glasses is a slight green tint, it feels slightly darker, and colors feel slightly muted by the green tint that i notice

could this be from the blue light coating ?

of my four pairs of glasses that i currently have the two that have blue light coatings are the only that seem to give me issues.  (however my ones that don’t have the coating are no longer correct and i will be changing the lenses as i can)

has anyone heard of things similar to this where the coatings can cause these kinds of symptoms to occur ?

i went for a drive today and could not wear them as i felt safer with limited vision than i did with the symptoms i’ve been noticing with them on

my  reply

what you write is very interesting because if you filter out blue light then your circadian rhythm is going to go awol

the retina has special receptors called  “ intrinsically photosensitive retinal ganglion cells ”  which have no visual function but only exist to relay the amounts of blue light coming in to the brain so the circadian clocks can be adjusted to it

such an effect would not be expected to be so immediate, so it doesn’t quite match what you say, however you may be a bit unusual in being so directly and immediately affected

maybe the filter coating will come off with rubbing, brasso even ?

i hope this is not incipient narcolepsy

another person  (ed. male early 40's ?)  replies

i had the blue blocker coating for the last six years

my latest pair does not have it and I feel like a new man

everything is bright and colorful and I feel much more alert

my  reply

as one approaches and in middle age the lens gets yellower and blocks more blue as well, it is likely a factor with this, past middle age it is inevitably a degree of cataract

i wonder if charles bukowski had been reading lord byron’s  darkness  when he wrote  “ born into this ” 

lord byron’s poem relates to the 1815 eruption of mt. tambora that lifted about 36 cubic miles of ash, rock and earth into the atmospere, cooling the planet and causing almost perpetual night in some areas, especially around indonesia

the  “ line at a time ”  of  this video  works well for bukowski’s poem

half reddit seems to think that a low reading age enhances their life prospects

both germany and japan failed to surrender when it was apparent all was lost, this is in contrast to the usual pragmatism of losing and winning sides throughout history

i think this was due to communications technology enabling a degree of social control that resulted in the war going far beyond what was reasonable

i don’t see what the fuss about heidegger is at all, as philosopher he is a waste of time, the one thing he got right is to identify the primary role of technology in history and society

as a person, well he must have known that  edith stein  with whom he had been a fellow assistant of edmund husserl was sent to auschwitz in august 1942, yet he remained a card carrying member of the nazi party until its demise

culture is not racial, people pick up what they value and are brought up with

i was watching  this  and thinking ho hum, but actually picasso’s work of sylvette is his best, there was a synchronicity he can’t have been 100% aware of ,  or he would have never let her go

conundrums like pendulums

back and forth

swings

the decision

i have quite a few homilies up on the web about sir henry neville being the real shakespeare and it still has shock value, i don’t want it to be generally known that he really wrote the plays because then it just becomes ho hum

so i don’t attempt to disabuse anyone of it, the way things are suits me, i know and they don’t and it gives substance for the contempt i  hold the english departments in the universities in

shakespeare actually didn’t plagiarise neville, it was by agreement as neville had good political reasons for keeping his name off the plays

anyway there’s plenty of material on the web on the subject

i’m sure that there’s potentially  a very successful film or book on the subject, he had a very interesting life

micro monovision is a good work around for presbyopia, that’s say . 5D add to probably the dominant eye, but it does give some people headaches

the bonding of the human male and female is the strangest thing in the universe

that remixing of who is who and what is what

summer   —   michizō tachihara

white road.  a white hat

someone carrying

a book of poetry

in a garden somewhere

dahlias and sunflowers

wind stirring at high noon

a stainless blue sky

old fashioned clouds

the two poems below are sorta riffs on this

the wind stirring

flopping the flowers

i cannot but help notice

walking along the road

country road

sun hat

nothing happening anywhere

the dream rolls on

liv tyler’s  brownstone dream ,  she looks sane and competent  and also fulfilled now she has made  “ architectural digest ”

there’s more to life than the living

the wind stirring

flopping the flowers

i cannot but help notice

walking along the road

if clones can’t see it

they can’t express appreciation over it

can they ?

if a clone can’t see it

he can’t express appreciation over it

can he ?

if i make a mistake

i learn from it

how do i learn from it ?

i learn to repeat it

philp larkin thought all women were stupid

zadie smith  is not stupid

interviewing  the handsome and tall if aging karl ove knausgaard

even you must notice your inability to address content and constantly deflect into  “ argumentum ad hominem ”

even women have more focus than you

too much vitamin  C can have a pro viral effect because it removes free radicals and you need some free radicals because they are immune system signallers, i would take say 10 to 30mg or none depending on what i eat during the day

the problem with multis is they always have flaws in the formulations, not worth the candle

taurine  is good for viruses

the world is too big for me to grasp

though i have tried

and too small for me to take seriously

is the problem insoluble

yes

it

is

half the people on the web i could ask this question

what brain damaged universe do you come from ?

if i want to think about things, how do i go about it ?

well most people don’t bother, they copy something that fits within whatever social mold and then call that  “ original thought ”  and then proceed to go beat dissidents up with it

welcome to reality

language is not the be all and end all, it is a type of thinking

but the type of thinking is not necessarily limited to language

i think real propaganda appreciates its own insincerity

north korean propaganda posters are just beautiful with that

something i related to that surprised me

“ calling the shots ”  is when you  (the shooter)  can pick where a bullet will hit a target before the bullet actually arrives

i have noticed that when i am shooting well i can pick where the scope crosshair center is on the target when the trigger fires and the bullet will end up in that area

misanthropy is at the core of true  “ spiritual ”  understanding

that the so-called heart sutra is in fact a  tantric dhāraṇī  makes me think that the zen emphasis on a teacher is also tantric and the sex scandals and promiscuity are an intrinsic part of the culture

russia’s disaster with its nuclear powered cruise missile shows that a new treaty is needed to stop the development of these weapons which literally spew significant amounts of radioactive material in their exhausts, so much so that you could design one to do just that and it would be a very effective threat and likely to be used

i think there’s an underlying social issue with china and other asian countries not charging for the environmental cost of their labour and this has created an anti-repair attitude

china has to become a democracy to address its future of enviromental devasation

you avoid the salient points of what i write, its really schizophrenic behaviour to try and enforce a projection and not be open to where reasoning leads you

your basic strategy is to just try and wear people out, no doubt you do that in real life as well

i said mentally ill and i meant  “ mentally ill ”

there’s truckloads of you people trying to dominate the web by sheer profusion of words and the absence of well researched and thought-out work

apple have a larger social responsibility not to deliberately encourage what is quite physical and toxic waste, yet their policies and  “ dark ”  implementation target full product replacement at the consumers cost, rather than repair

if you can make an electronic product last three times as long through repair rather than make three new items, what is that going do for the reduction of toxic waste ?

companies follow commercial objectives, it takes regulation to constrain socially malfunctional aspects of those objectives

its no coincidence that apple sources its products from china which doesn’t have those environmental constraints

the web is full of aggressive people who can’t think straight, at the extreme, some will want to do you physical harm, there’s a lot of mental illness typing away

the net is overloaded with aggressive  “ apologists ”  and their sophistical skill sets

everybody thinks they are right, but how few have the ability to rationally discourse on the subject under consideration

if you don’t do any reading and research yourself, you will be vulnerable, ophthalmologists don’t know everything

monism

how can there be only one thing

one implies two ?

“ he’s known for being extremely hostile to people he disagrees with ”

well disagreeing with some-one is an act of war

philosophy is the love of sophie who i keep looking for, but never find

things that happen a lot

too much

what

little

we

clutch

things that happen

a lot

too much

what

little

we

clutch

i notice in philosophy and religion, rather than do anything authentically creative they just go in endless returning hermeneutic circles and think they are doing something useful

good literature is not so susceptible to this because being  “ good ” ,  it doesn’t let you return to the same spot

“ fungal taxa make up a tiny fraction of intestinal microbes  —  between one-thousandth and one-tenth of a percent in healthy people

however, the new study suggests that even with low representation they may play an outsized role in dangerous infections, clostridium difficile  in this case ”

“ increases in some fungal populations were tied to decreases in the population of some helpful bacteria.  They didn’t find the same negative relationship between fungi and bacteria in patients without infections ”

women who used oral contraceptives during adolescence are more likely to  develop depression  as adults

“ adolescence is an important period for brain development.  previous animal studies have found that manipulating sex hormones, especially during important phases of brain development, can influence later behaviour in a way that is irreversible ”

the actual thing

99 million years later

it just blows your mind

book and film reviews are basically parasitic, telling the same story for free and getting paid for it

one of the biggest cultural illusions in the west is you matter to a doctor

from mishima to mitsurugi the only thing the japanese seem to have learnt from world war two is to want more of the same

well they got it in part in fukushima, the usual incompetent hierarchies

from mishima to mitsurugi the only thing the japanese seem to have learnt from world war two is to want more of the same

what are we before we’re not ?

what are we not before we are ?

what are we before we’re not ?

are we not before we are ?

the nature of correction

is to await the opportunity to correct

for both ourselves

and

others

the nature of correction

is to await the opportunity to correct

both for ourselves

and

others

the nature of correction

is to await the opportunity to correct

for ourselves

and

others

immortals have no dying

except when

we die

they die

not really immortal

are they ?

a song lyric is not a poem, it doesn’t stand alone without the music, even looks vacant without the mood induced by the music

you can write a poem

don’t worry about making things rhyme, though a couple of rhyming words is beneficial

its just stuff that has been at the back of your mind coming out in an ordered way

don’t be embarrassed by the result

its yours

and

that’s

all

there

is

to

it

when i wake

from sleep

its like

whole

worlds

have to be dragged up again

from the fathomless

into fathomableness

late afternoon sun

lengthening shadows

late afternoon sun

long shadows

late afternoon sun

shadows everywhere

jordan peterson on the importance on children learning  social skills  by four or five

he makes an interesting comment about charisma being to a degree psychopathic and involves the projection of competence where there is none

charles bukowski lived a long time for an alcoholic, i think modern medicine had a lot to do with it

basically when you get ejected from a group nobody is with you, i’ve been both sides and seen it, you’re either with the group or against it, i haven’t regretted staying with the group when another person has been ejected, why should i buy into their problems, i have enough of my own

somethings seem real because you put a lot of energy in

when you put less energy they seem less real

you exist more than you don’t exist, some exist a lot more than they don’t exist, others less so

i do find people not very predictable and there is a physiological reason for this, the brain   fluctuates  between risky and less risky judgments and behaviors

waiting a while is going to give you a more even assessment

religion is a species wide mental illness

these days entertainment is a religion

religion is a species wide mental illness

these days entertainment is religion

religion is a species wide mental illness

brad warner, your ideas are not very well worked out, you don’t read widely enough and you don’t interact with people enough in working out the sorts of things you discuss on youtube, same failure modes as dogen actually

the opposite gender is all the  “ the alien technology ”  one wants to meet in a lifetime

if you say god made the world then you are faced with the recursive problem, that god must exist in a world so who made that ?

hans-georg gadamer claims sleep touches on death, but in my view neither sleep nor concussion touch on death because they continue

death does not continue, that’s all death is, non-continuity

in the beginning before the beginning

i have nothing to say

every now and then i go out and shoot a wallaby or two

the cruelty and offal keep me sane

testicles, brains, prostate, kidneys

julian baumgartner  restores   “ the assassination of archimedes ”

“ the children of fire  look for fire ”

fire is consumed by fire

brad warner

standing on a precipice

afloat in a pumice sea

maybe eihei dogen

 is not all he’s cracked up to be ?

you can argue with idiots for years

you can argue with idiots for years

all you have done is argue with idiots for years

you can argue with idiots for years

you can argue with idiots for years

you can argue with idiots for years

you can argue with idiots for years

you can argue with idiots for years

murder, cannibalism, adultery, incest, treachery, war

modern soaps only have 2.5 out of six

the ancient greeks were  ahead  of the play

the religious

murders, plagiarists, the insincere

by another name

all philosophers make the same mistake, they come from what they understand and can only speak in terms of their own understanding

all philosophers make the same mistake, they come from what they understand and can only speak in terms of their understanding

all philosophers make the same mistake, they come from what they understand and can only speak in terms of what they understand

if you look at an emily dickinson poem, there’s a hologram there that comes from reading the whole and seems to bear no relation to the words

if you look at an emily dickinson poem, there’s a hologram there that comes from the whole and seems to bear no relation to the words

if you look at emily dickinson’s poems, there’s a hologram there that comes from the whole and seems to bear no relation to the words

lol, when i post on zen boards, i feel like i’m  this guy

why is it the soto dogen clones overlook the biggest thing about him

he was celibate

one of zen’s biggest issues is its complete lack of  “ enlightened ”  teachers

no wonder they are so evasive on the subject

dogmatic assertions come across as unpleasant

when you  “ outgrow ”  your sangha they will get rid of you pretty quickly, happened to me

clones only allowed

the attraction of eihei dogen to translators and the reader of the usual badly translated dogen is pompous idiots think they look like they know what they are on about by projecting onto nonsense

jeff koons, the first multimillionaire who  talks retarded  and was rewarded for it

the art world can be very very moronic

well, he won’t be the first, that would be too original for him

ladies, genetically your sons may be half you, but genderwise they are all your husband

gentlemen, genetically your daughters may be half you, but genderwise they are all their mothers

i really don’t  “ get ”  the web crazies who try to control content on a channel, messageboard or subreddit they do not own or moderate

mysticism is not the same as philosophy even though it has philosphical elements

it makes more progress than philosophy which just goes around in useless circles

i’ve got nothing against argumentum ad hominen, it just wants to be accurate which it rarely is so not effective

even as a teenager cleopatra is a  ruthless  politican, bred into her blood

even napoleon complained about the amount of work he had to do to keep joséphine in  “ shopping money ”

i would suggest you read what i say for a start rather than reacting to  “ keywords ”

where people argue ad hominem then you usually get  “ reverse ad homenium ”    “ i am so great therefore i must be right ”  as well

the eye is a biofilm environment and lemon juice ,  especially the integument contains anti-biofilmic agents

the folk remedy of squirting lemon juice in the eye may be based on using that as an anti-infectious remedy

interestingly there is no appreciation of the problems of contacts biasing the eye microbiome into the skin microbiome, not a good move !

you want white/blue light early in the day to synchronise your circadian rhythm and no blue an hour before bed to let the melatonin switch on

red led light  (not filament bulbs as the underlying led colour is in fact blue)  is exceptionally pure form of red and quite  “ blueless ”

you can always judge the amount the blue by how blue an object with the colour appears, if there's no blue at all, it will appear black

surprisingly bright moonlight has a bit of blue in that you can see, i have noticed when out hunting under a full moon that the circadian rhythm does get disturbed

violet is at the high energy end of blue, red is at the low energy end of colour itself

there have yet to be any satisfactory translations of eihei dogen and may never be because of the philological remoteness

i don’t know why soto is so keen on meditation because his writings are so voluminous its obvious he never did anything else except give talks and write

its interesting to consider whether heironymous bosch was childless ,  there's no record of him having children and infertility was common in those times

there is a disruptive energy in his paintings that does not come from a satisfied life

nicholas baum   and   brian sewell  giving  “ the code ”

an excellent  reproduction  of  “ the temptations of st. anthony ” 

downvoting is a failed bluff if you don’t respond to it ,  they are afraid to show their hand in a comment but readers will see your comment and be influenced by you and not the downvote

if they do show their hand in a comment, the battle is on

hieronymous bosch is painting  surreal worlds  where the christian myths make sense

it is the only place they make sense which given their tone says a lot about the myths

you could not get a more effective or subtle deconstruction of chrisitianity

his triptychs are portals into insanity, yet illuminating of the insanity of this world

“ you can’t save everyone ”

“ you can’t save anyone ”

“ you can’t save everyone ”

you can’t save anyone

where soto goes wrong and all religion actually is the way it restricts itself to only one or two reference points, i can’t understate the depth of this error

some sanctimonious zen bullshit from a translator of eihei dogen

“ the triple world is only the mind ”

why pretend it means something and is not just the usual religious vacuity ?

from the point of view of eye health alone  (not visual acuity)  it is far far better to stay with the natural lens

there are one or two exceptions to this, glaucoma possibly being one and a cataractous lens getting too far progressed is another

multifocals and diffractive lenses are notorious for  dysphotopsia

there’s a new generation of IOL’s in the works and the way technology improves you gain substantially by waiting

having a lens replacement to go  “ glasses free ”  when there is not a sufficient degree of cataract to justify the operation is problematic

i was thinking that the most surreal short story i have ever read is  “ the old couple ”  by alphonse daudet in his  “ letters from my windmill ”

its really something out of time

even in the  élysée palace , they don’t eat as well as me

mysteries of the universe

the amount of extra toothpaste contained in a tube that is almost squeezed out

why you should  fry  with lard and not oil

“ feeding frying oil to mice exaggerated colonic inflammation, enhanced tumor growth and worsened gut leakage, spreading bacteria or toxic bacterial products into the bloodstream ”

“ he’s as guilty as sin ”

how guilty is sin ?

germany had lost the second world war when it passed  “ the law for the restoration of the professional civil service ”  in 1933

german chemists and austrian physicists (a jewish woman and her nephew as it happens) discovered the possibility of making the atomic bomb, but the enforcement of that law transferred the ability to make one to the allies

jacques derrida in spades, the actuality of deconstruction is already occurring in the construction

the interesting  story  of the teenage girl strategists for the royal navy during world war 2

and

and

and

the story of the three  “ ands ”  that never got told

tool making and language are a logical extension of perception as per  “ the free energy principle ” 

i guess that ups the odds of another communicating civilization existing in this universe, but it seems to be an improbable and difficult evolutionary yield requiring a propitious mix of stability and change over very long periods of time

hannibal was  a brilliant  tactical commander, but on overall strategy he didn’t quite have it together

the carthaginian’s needed to upgrade their naval strength to better than the romans which they were capable of, all their land victories were doomed in the face of the roman naval superiority, the carthagian’s eventual loss of the  second punic war  was a foregone conclusion

people who speak two languages actually speak a third language with two variants

alpha lipoic acid doesn’t trap heavy metals, but mobilises them

i’ve seen people damaged by it

the  chelation  thing is crazy

they’re a bit of a rum lot

professional cooks

i don’t know why

too busy preparing food for presentation

to eat properly themselves

why is there nowhere

that’s not more like me

“ alien ”  doesn’t begin to describe it

its more like a composite across the ages

where i do and don’t belong

better that than dealing

with the imbeciles

who howl for your blood

beyond the normal

there is a different dimension

how little encountered

observation is actually a fraught process involving interaction with what is observed

“ live in the moment ”

why don’t you observe where you do live ?

why don’t you observe where you actually live ?

this moment churns through

when do they ever notice

anything else ?

you cross the road and you have already aged

you cross the road just once and you have already aged

if you have taken just one road and its taken you a long way into nowhere

you think you would get the message

don’t you ?

a million deluded frauds

pretending they are not deluded

why ?

well its what led them to exist

i think charisma is a type of emotional intelligence that presents well to others, but leaves strong shortfalls

its vulnerable and chaotic socially

so kate, william and children took a  budget flight  while harry and megan jetted around in sir elton john’s private jet

i want to take this as example of a lack of symmetry in situations, that they are not comparable even though they seem symmetric, ie harry and megan are travelling extravagently

the difference is that kate and william distinctly lack  “ charisma ”  and that family doesn’t attract the more psychotic attention that harry and megan do

i see this a lot on the web ,  “ my opinion is as good as yours ”  but if i am informed and experienced and you are just frothing off babble then its not, you are just wasting my time while i am adding value to yours, the situation is not symmetric

this is the deep flaw of the web, an over-egalitarian enforcement of symmetery, and its not just the passive effect of the technology but the very active impostion of the usual hubric idiots trying to intimidate and spoil quality

i've reached the point where i can cope with it, i use what they say to generate more of my own material and i notice they back right off

charisma is a double edged sword btw and needs caution when dealing with

syliva plath made her decision to commit suicide in the last lines of her poem  “ contusion ”

the heart shuts

the sea slides back

the mirrors are sheeted

my  reply

the sea never slid

the clockwork broke

you’d have lived longer as a nun

if the clouds are thick enough and in front of the sun they block the ultraviolet

if the clouds are not directly in front of the sun, or very high and thin they can act as ultraviolet reflecting mirrors

visible light especially the blue end of the spectrum is what causes the phototoxic damage in solar retinopathy

if i try to put my finger on my past

i can in spots

otherwise not a lot

spots or not

there’s not much there

thoughts that ficker through our minds and are not remembered are like world’s lost or unexplored, potential fruitfulness that falls back into the abyss

people seem to expect to write satisfactory poetry by only coming from one angle, but like anything else a lot of different angles are required to give the necessary perspective and depth

its like painting, you have something two dimensional you have to make three dimensional by subtleties of technique and the presentation of subject

the idea you can write satisfactorily without a lot of work and focus is preposterous

yet their energies today are spent trying to intimidate quality

crepuscular  frontal storm with lightning

the world is full of self-appointed  “ gatekeepers ”  protecting some idiotic fantasy

the bitterness and viciousness with which they fight to protect what are just bad ideas is amazing

i think good art and writing has the capacity to wrench or arrest the attention of those who don’t want to know

involuntarily

the voice  of anna akhmatova

the problem with the schizophrenic  “ interpretation ”  of the world is not in the solipsist aspect, but that it is wrong

the real world is also wrong, but  “ two wrongs don’t make a right ” 

if you are going to re-intepret the world away from socially constructed norms, then given the danger of doing so, the only justification is getting it  “ righter"

my criticism would be that brad is  attempting  to re-define  “ sentience ”  away from its accepted english meaning which is a habit more akin to schizophrenia than sanity, so he was right when he said  “ weird ”

he’s trying to say something to do with the commonly accepted inverted notion of self versus  “ the whole brain ” ,  but its off target, sentience just doesn’t carry the right meaning

but of course he seems unable to engage in meaningful discourse in discussion on what he says

optimal astigmatic correction can vary with distance

you have an equal inheritance from both your mother and father and their families

if you look closely at your relatives you will see it

one sees a lot of extremes of body modification and tattooing on the web that people do not see as symptomatic of mental illness

it is mental illness

one sees a lot of extremes of body modification and tattooing on the web that people do not see as mental illness

it is mental illness

i’m getting less wedded to things making sense as i get older

i think when writing poetry you need to develop ideas unconsciously

when it comes together the poem will pop out

if nothing comes, then nothing has come together

the day fades into itself

the night blooms over the desert

flowers light up over mischief

the last line looks into  itself

the day fades into itself

the night blooms over the desert

flowers light up over mischief

the last line looks after itself

the day fades into itself

the night blooms into the desert

flowers light up over mischief

the last line looks after itself

 what do words mean ?

i don’t really know

i look, i prod, i push

but i still don’t know

i’m getting less wedded to things making sense as i get older

a pain in the stomach

i can’t lie down

an intimation of an illness plagued old age

it goes

i am immortal again

heart beats damage the brain with stiff and calcified arteries passing on  the shock

to have a good grasp of what zen is really about requires a very long lived celibate life, eihei dogen unfortunately died relatively young and he had yet to grow into a simpler more natural exposition

its a very long road through endlessly changing terrain and you have to pass through a fair bit of it

it took me years to understand that when you work, you should be paid twice

once what they pay you and twice in experience and knowledge, the second is potentially worth way more than the first

providing you are getting the second and there’s no air quality or other health problems, the work’s ok

there are somethings you can only see as you approach, an overall view is not enough

its difficult to understand how far translation is removed from the original unless you try your hand at translation yourself

saul bellow’s parents emigrated to canada from st. petersburg in 1913,  they were quite prosperous so it must have been a wrench leaving, but interestingly they could see the writing on the wall at a time many didn’t seem able to

he was born two years later in canada, but really he’s russian enough to have a strong connection in origin with vladimir nabokov, though they didn’t get along

william s. burroughs was not much  of a painter

however its no worse than a lot of highly regarded and priced abstract stuff

zen has become a scriptural religion where there is no questioning of people like dogen who in fact gets a lot of things wrong and also people don’t understand the degree of removal translation is from what was originally said

when they read or hear something authentic like  this poem , the frauds get upset

you think you have a clue when you are just trying to protect some wrong ideas you have

what can i say ?

talk about sentience and non sentience is nonsense

translations of eihei dogen are nonsense

sense and nonsense, dogen and buddhism, why do people waste their time talking, doing and non doing in the chimerical pursuit of voynich ?

so, i went to lie down for an afternoon sleep when i got this pain in my abdomen and really could not lie down because of it, however sitting up or standing i was fine

the word pancreatis came to mind because an ex neighbour had it and the pain was in the area of the pancreas though perhaps more central to the stomach, so i did a search

an  overview

a gastroentrologist’s  view

yup a john hopkins consult which money can’t buy, you could see a hundred gastroentrologists before getting that sort of quality, thanks vikesh !

so there, heaps of free medical advice and i think it was because i have been eating a lot of fat in various forms recently, from lamb cutlets, steak and avacado which i will cut back on and also one needs a decent gap between eating a fatty or heavy meal and lying down

i am pretty well a teetotaller so alcohol is not a factor

also i think i may have had a virus, anyway the problem went away after a couple of hours, but thanks to my research i have saved myself quite a a bit of time, money and hopefully, potential trouble

the problem males have with women is understanding how different they are

and actually their contempt for men

the problem males have with women is understanding how different they are

the story  behind the migrant mother photo taken in 1936

florence owens thompson was cherokee and while times were difficult they were not starving

she had a charisma and dignity which was why the photo became so well known imo

when you wish ill on some-one, you think ill on yourself

think twice before you do

this is what a  megafauna  extinction event looks like

there you are, you’re looking at it, the northern white rhinos are already extinct

well not quite  perhaps

there you are, the last of your species, just imagine it

i think life is like  “ the changing of the guard ”  mostly the same show keeps going, but the people change, particularly the old being replaced by the younger

we of course replace and are replaced

actors and actresses are selected for symmetry of form, beauty and some talent

brains are an encumberance

i correspond with about six or seven pople, sometimes at extended intervals

that’s about all the fame i can cope with

the weirdness of my being the last bastion of zen mysticism in today’s world

this poem  is mystical beyond our ability to make sense of it and that is making you uncomfortable

another way of looking at it is its a direct communication with eihei dogen

western zen has the mysticism stripped out of it, but people like dogen, hakuin and the 6th partriarch were mystical

with a poem or any written expression really, you want something simplified that captures the essence of the problem

sepehr  writes

i had a dream last night of skipping school and taking a mountain hike where i caught sight of a fox

furthermore, one of my recent dreams involved becoming a maple tree

my  reply

dreams make a great basis for creative stories

a wonderful garden

ms. mariko gonda’s   residence

extendible jaws are not just a science fiction meme but exist in nature with the bristle and   polynid scale  worms, both marine worms which makes sense if you think about it

i don’t know whether extensible or extendible is the better use for that description, perhaps extentable as it is the opposite of retractable

the belief in a unified theory of the universe is just that, a belief,

a false meta that has no substance, the usual religious hot air even though it is supposedly scientific

you can’t go past the irrationality of the insane because they won’t let you

the irrationality of the insane you can’t go past because they won’t let you

audio

alma deutscher, an exercise  in concentration  and quite a fun response at the end

there is larger perspective on women and power; sappho, virginia woolf, jane austen, sylvia plath, emily dickinson, these women have permanently marked culture with their intellectual prowess in a way that is not malnourished

a good william s. burroughs  video ,  i suppose his drug use is like charles bukowski being an alcoholic, their writing survived it

eight cats screaming their hearts out

what a noise

eight cats screaming their hearts out

what a bother

memory

not

memory

is

the view of women we see in entertainment is a contradiction, not the female view but some glamorised and malnourished male view

a lot of mistakes, you don’t intend mistakes but just find yourself in a certain place after a while from inaction or a succession of wrong actions

when you correct someone else you are correcting yourself

an area of double edged swords i am afraid

for us  andrei platonov’s  dystopian novel  “ the foundation pit ”  and  yevgeny zamyatin’s  science fiction novel  we  are dystopian, but for them, their writing was the living reality of soviet russia and and in the case of  the foundation pit  ,  collectivisation as well

both george orwell’s   “ 1984 ”  and aldous huxley’s  “ brave new world ”  are heavily  “ indebted ”  to  “ we ”  as are a lot of so called  “ modern ”  science fiction and dystopian themes

what i notice about these  “ dissident ”  russian writers during the soviet period is their startling originality, mikhail bulgakov is another, like nothing in the west really

mormonism is heavily  indebted  to john milton

i have never minded the mormons whereas jehovah’s witnesses drive me bonkers

immersive shooter games like  halo ,  while having a certain sophistication are responsible in part for a cultural downsizing and induced cretinism of experience in the young

a poem

any kinda words

any kinda

grammar

just

say something

yale lecturer john rogers gives a really good exposition of  paradise lost

it is the greatest epic poem in english

i was always adverse to john milton, but the yale lecturer john rogers really has  opened my eyes

nothing more than words that echo a distant past

past exigencies that no longer matter

its depressing the way russia murdered  its best  during the lenin and stalin years

“ this poem is dedicated to leyb kvitko, one of four yiddish poets executed in august 1952

lev ozerov  wrote portraits of them all

kvitko wrote mainly for children; his books had print runs of millions

his widow, bella kvitko (1899-1987), was a doctor ”

his biography

if you use a mobile phone you have a 30% greater chance of getting brain or salivary gland  tumours

catholicsm   :   celibacy in a breeding oriented church

no wonder it all unravelled

all the insane worlds that can be supported by writing

“ moonrain ”  when the moonlight creates a diffuse ambient light and its raining

even as  a hermit ,  life is just unending trauma and potholes

suicide is a very lonely thing ,  an imagined annihilation of a world and a factual annihilation of universes

sylvia plath seems like science fiction, a genius born to two extremely unusual parents in a perverse experiment thrust out into an unfriendly alien world to be snared and destroyed by it in utter loneliness

science fiction has it all wrong, it is premised on other communicating civilizations in the universe, but in reality there are none

whereas to read sappho or the edict of a pharaoh from 1500BCE or sylvia plath’s anguished  poetry  is really spooky

disembodied voices crytallized in writing

you can leave something behind when you realise you have already left it behind

did you know damaged women brush their hair so as to hide their foreheads ?

its a defensive measure to confuse the reading of their eye and facial expressions

interestingly hieroglyphs are not simply logograms but in combination with phonetic symbols

a history  of the decoding

it was a very sophisticated language

big cities are just landscape like any other, except less appealing

jason  writes

in delaware the house was right on the beach

ed.  his recent holiday, see further below

it had been raining all day and i was on the back covered porch reading with a couple of other adults

my friend’s mother tells me to look up from the book since a rainbow was about to appear

clouds were moving off the water and surely enough a rainbow appeared very slowly from nothing

what i was thinking while this was happening was how much there was left to learn, how without someone pointing out a rainbow was about to appear i would’ve never noticed it forming

you can add  ziggurats  to pyramids and the colossus of rhodes on the list of the world’s great follies

actors and actresses are paid to express themselves with an energy we cannot be bothered to do

“ the amount of optometrists being produced every year is growing quickly and there are plenty of us

ophth is going down and we need more of them as these old boomers need aseg and pseg surgeons ”

optometrists are scrabbling for an income and ophthalmologists are awash with cash

what else is there to say ?

reddit downvoters imagine they are changing the world

they claim to understand what you said, but are unable to formulate an effective rebuttal

i don’t assume knowledge, experience or rationality by these people

mostly in my experience they are people without any of those whose noses have been monetarily put out of joint by what they read and then move on

reading age difficulties, just picking out one word and projecting onto that and other attention deficit problems are also an issue not to mention reddit’s notorious bias to drug use

the 7th patriarch’s dictionary

samadhi  :  a nonsense term promulgated by millennia of schizophrenics

am i a bad or good person ?

you can cogitate endlessly

you can take it another way

am i a person ?

the past seemed of a dream

that never was and never might be

the past seemed of a dream

that was and never might be

they seemed of a dream

that never were

years ago after i had told some jehovah’s witnesses there was no historical jesus, as they walked away i heard one of them half laughing saying  “ there is no historical jesus ”  and the others laughed and it always irked me, but i was the one who should have been laughing because i had pierced their thick hides with doubt

they don’t visit me now, just my half mad, recently vacated neighbour who loved to talk that sort of bullshit

the jesus  “ i am god ”  is fascist human species supremacy

why not blue whales ?

always busy with the next thing

no time

to sit on the boulder bank

looking out to sea

because that’s all there is

always busy with the next thing

no

time

to sit on the boulder bank

looking out to sea

because that’s all there is

its easy for outsiders to see our weaknesses and strengths and almost impossible for ourselves

why is that ?

i think, in life, you have to have the sense to see whether something is going your way or not and not to oppose it

i think, in life, you have to have the sense to see whether something is going your way or not and not to oppose it in that case

jason  writes

the trip  (ed. holiday, three days away)  went well for the most part, my friends family were very kind to me, especially the women knowing my mother passed away, i felt like crying a good amount of times

my friend’s cousin who is adopted celebrated her birthday while we were there, she turned sixteen so it was pretty special but the party itself wasn’t special, just cake and opening gifts, i’ve known her since she was seven or something like that

it was nice to be around a young woman like that, she almost transformed while i was there turning into some kind of young adult or something

she likes me at least a bit, maybe she wants to date me in the future i don’t know, we were standing on line to get ice cream once and she nudged me with her elbow like it was a mistake, of course she’s so young so i had to ignore her during the trip for the most part.  my friends mother and the cousins mother noticed all of these strange tensions in the air too and were playing with it

i brought  “ northanger abbey ”  by jane austen with me, i was reminded that the young woman was named Emma after jane austen’s book, i completely forgot, i only opened up the book the last day but i plan on finishing it

i also read  “ waiting for godot ”  and i think it had an impact on me, that being silly is ok and that life is a lot of nonsense and insanity as well

i want to start reading more and i think i will, do my own retreat here at home maybe

my  reply

lol, if you are like me you will go through life with  “ strange tensions ”  and as what to they mean who knows because they all walk away from you thankfully

that’s a good bit of writing

as i get older i notice that the things i used to be so critical of and against i now do myself

we live in an external world that we think has a validity greater than ourselves

this is actually not true

we live in an external world that we think has a validity greater than ourselves

this is not the case

sorta what are ideas in your younger years turn out to be practical experience in your older years

sorta what is an idea in your younger years turns out to be practical experience in your older years

poetry is a different modulation of semantics and doesn’t rest in overt meaning

people don’t understand this

i think if you talk about it, rather than do it, you are always in trouble

at least entertainment doesn’t pretend to be more than it is

its what which pretends to be more than it is, but doesn’t entertain that’s the bugbear

carmen amaya  —    alegrias   —   1944  —  follow the boys

lymes is becoming  a crisis , map 1/4 way down

really good flamenco

buleria

olé 

in my early twenties i developed a lump in my breast which turned out to be due to an estrogenic compound in the wheatgerm oil carrier for some vitamin E  i was taking

a similar problem to this one with  lavender oil ,  estrogen being a hormone, it doesn’t take much of the mimic to cause problems

life is intrinsically fraught because if you stay inside the boundaries, what’s outside the boundaries will get you and if you go outside the boundaries what’s outside the boundaries will get you

audio

“ why is the vagina there ? ”

because it was there on your mother

a gathering roar of bullshit

a tsunami in modern life

a gathering roar

the tsunami of bullshit in modern life

why do we see things in terms of people ?

because we are people ?

what men find attractive about women is everything that ensures the survival of the species

beware, you will be sacrificed to that end

my experience with several forms of buddhism is that zennists are the biggest arseholes and have very high rates of mental illness, tibetan is the most stupid which is saying something but the people are nice and the rest are a bit like vapour, something seen dimly tangled in candyfloss

black ice

a demon

you can’t

see it

but its there

skating to hell

black ice

a demon

you can’t see it

but its there

skating to hell

mesopotamian school children were learning cuniform and writing on clay tablets 5000 years ago

today’s average millenial and post millenial can’t seem to understand what is written

progress goes backwards

john betjeman  interviewing  philip larkin, what a difference the interviewer being a man of  “ sense and sensibiity ”  makes

in time all streets are visited  (ed. ambulances)

we sense the solving emptiness that underlies all

so whole and black and true

if i eat a wallaby brain i really start writing

with lasik and cataract operations, the technology is always improving, you really gain by waiting

soto zen

and

its

reliance

on

the

straightjacket

of

eihei

dogen

soto zen

and

its

reliance

of

the

straightjacket

they

make

of

eihei

dogen

the problem with meditating

is its recursive engraving

of what

is useless to you

the problem with haiku

is if you try to fit the syllables

you

get

something

too

weak

a lone magpie

warbling

in the moonlight

nobody has any questions

they rush through life

i wouldn’t say blind

but not exactly seeing

nobody has any questions

they rush through life

i wouldn’t say blind

but not exactly

seeing

‘ satan’s shield ’  is  an emblem  rather than anything effective

a salient point about life

the waddesdon collection, a big deal in the eyes of the world

to me

kitschy nonsense

gotta give  the documentary  credit for its excellence though

the general sense of  hypnagogic  is transitions between sleep and wakefulness, but  hypnopompic  refers specifically to wakefulness from sleep

basically the brain is trying to make sense of the world as it reboots and you can see what are effectively hallucinations, but you think you are fully awake

its an utterly unresearched area

aspergers on the web   :  utterly non negotiable, obsessive, rigid and operate in an oversimplified black and white world

is there a hopelessness to aging, something so compelling as to

watch

our

own

 dissolution ?

in his later life philip larkin fell into two traps

drink and damaged women

i think there is quite a difference between the skilled writing of poetry versus prose, i could always write poetry but it has taken me the last twenty years to learn to write prose well, something i am only managing now at the wrong end of my life

why shouldn’t i be bitter ?

a forced indian marriage foiled on reddit

intial  post, the  escape

contact lens alter the eye biofilm to look like that of the skin, that predisposes to infection and you have other issues like depriving the cornea of oxygen

people seem wedded to the idea that reality is literal

its not

audio

bright moonlight is suprisingly white and contains blue which would be disrupting of the circadian rhythm

also suprisingly it doesn’t have any red

brad warner, buddhism is just bad fiction, i feel you are trying to con me having successfully conned yourself

buddha was a cool dude

the earliest human  depiction  of buddha, really neat earrings, fat face and doesn’t look at all exhausted from fucking those big breasted maidens

these self conned idiots who claim he was a real historical person are just lusting after the good life

the big and unsung advantage of glasses is you get correction of vision without possibly risky operations on the eye

you have a good sense of humour when you can laugh if the joke is against you

“ i got a small cross and my husband got our wedding date tattooed in roman numeric.  its the cutest thing ”

my  comment

lol, deep symbolism

reddit is full of the self-promoting mentally ill

you seem unable to handle disagreement in a reasonable manner

i think its called narcissism ?

its schizophrenic to pretend that what we do is without mistakes

divorced or otherwise broken up couples, if it didn’t work once, it usually won’t work again

couples thinking of getting married would do well to consider whether they resonate with each other in a functional problem solving way, love is not enough

tattoos are for the crazy

allergenic and toxic inks

 did i mention the kitschy art on your skin for a lifetime ?

my view is you can’t really say anything about an astigmatic eye without looking at a corneal topograph and it should be standard

humor

“ I counsel you beware ”   by ae housman

good creatures, do you love your lives

and have you ears for sense ?

here is a knife like other knives

that cost me eighteen pence

i need but stick it in my heart

and down will come the sky

and earth’s foundations will depart

and all you folk will die

my  reply

poor housman stuck it in his heart

only he missed by an inch

and slowly bled to death

the earth’s foundations were so slow to depart

they never went

you can write something good wihtout writing a lot

but if you write a lot, then you will at least occasionally write something good

you don’t have to be a passenger, you can drive

you can get out

you can be a passenger or you can drive

the velvet in the bright gaze of dunja

rapidly returns as a present mercy

ed.  dunja was an old woman who was house guest of giuseppe ungaretti’s mother in the time of his childhood in the bay of kotor, montenegro

the last lines of the last verses he ever wrote ?

UFOs are baby boomer schizophrenia

no memory isn’t an answer

memory isn’t an answer

phasing memory and no memory is an answer

the real zen

work it out for yourself

its that bloody simple

and its that bloody ignored

the meshing of opposites

contradictions

its crazy to box, even the body shock from punches is enough to cause brain damage let alone punches to the head

absitnence is not easy street though it has elements of that

it has its pain

ezra pound certainly does a good job of translating li po

i usually find li po translations unreadable but  this  is not

i was thinking how nice northern scotland was and the good times i had some years ago wandering around it in summer

there’s stranger realms of thought than poetry

where words jostled in an unsatifactory manner

life’s condition feels tinnily empty

even these words

and this is more true

than anything else

flying fish

attacked from below

dive bombed from above

a moment of freedom

a dream of lewis carroll

no walrus

no carpenter

speech should also be thinking or thinking aloud, otherwise you are just pumping the air with noise

its one of  my best poems , i certainly didn’t give up as i have written probably about 10,000 poems and homilies to date, in terms of community i find people very hostile, dangerously even to the degree of solipsism i express so i don’t bother with them

solipsistic expressions seem quite normal to me but people just can’t handle this stuff

the world is an illusion

a whiff of vapour

mist rises in the evening

gone by the morning

the world is an illusion

a whiff of vapour

mist rises in the evening

gone by midnight

mild cases of solar retinopathy self repair after several months

we all go through life convinced of our ability to pick winning lottery numbers

a way of explaining the difference between opticians, optometrists and ophthalmologists is ophthalmologists work outside the meridian model of the eye and if you have eye problems beyond normative prescription adjustments you need the perspective of experience outside the meridian model

if you read more literal translations of rumi he is quite wordy and allusive

also you get a hint of how untranslatable he is

coleman barks  sucks

“ amateur ”  translations on the web are often the best, they tend to be more literal

by the time you are forty you will have accumulated way more damage more than a few seconds of accidental looking at the sun will do

the news is all bad with the eye and getting older

the eye would have to be the most complex optical instrument in the universe by a mile, opticians and optometrists stop at the very inadequate meridian model blinded by being tin gods in their shops

the subtlety of differential analysis is beyond them

if you look closely, alma deustscher is actually working when she is listening in a way tobias is not and it doesn’t take long before her  improvisation  is quite a bit more complex than his

how much of our conventional way of looking at things is meaningful ?

not much

you can’t leave if you take what you leave

i think short stories and novels are a bit of an illusion, they are nothing but the narrative voice which poems are anyway

a poem is ideally the narrative voice expressed abstractly and simply and stories conversely are complex and not abstract

i still can’t get over how sylvia plath’s short story  “ mary ventura and the ninth kingdom ”  is dissed as immature when it is one of the all time greats

what’s really sad is she wrote prose better than poetry and could have had a successful careeer with some encouragement instead of being decoyed so fatally into the hughes family

why is dementia so upsetting ?

we have

the

form

without

the

substance

 what if the substance is gone ?

in the dim light

of

our

own

fading

 what if the substance is gone ?

the dim light

of

our

own

fading

to go and be where there is no memory

 how is that ?

in the end everything just reverts to solipsism

we bring the world into existance and take it with us when we go

an oddly effective clay  animation

the story

yukio hara has lost the ability to see the world in color.  despondent and aimless from his sudden loss of sense, he falls into a cycle of self abuse, depression and drugs.  as his problems continue to increase, yukio's once shy demeanor turns into voluntary reclusiveness.  rather than curing him of his problems and conflicting emotions, this merely intensifies them to where he resolves to end his life but is interrupted amidst his suicide attempt by a strange girl with even stranger powers

 why can’t i chase what goes ?

what comes chases what goes

what goes chases what comes

denial is not a passive thing, its an attempt to eliminate

just be careful when you encounter it

people think being a  “ couple ”  is the most natural thing, but its the most unnatural

sir henry neville is the real author and he wrote those sonnets for his son who was wooing a wealthy woman to impress her

it worked

what rupi kaur gives is more like  entertainment  than poetry, clichéd pap with body paint

i think the difficulty with a young audience is transiting them out of entertainment since their world is so awash with it

rupi kaur

angst

faux wisdom

a seductive body

i guess that’s wisdom these days

translators never do enough  “ philological work ”  in my experience

the meanings of words do change with time

the larger picture is if its a battle, don’t play fair or you will lose

the sadness of great talent obliterating itself

salaam could have  visited  amy winehouse thursday or friday, but waited till saturday and she was dead

i find some things are like that, you need to do something immediately, but you put it off and disaster, but its so hard to know ahead of time

less the knowing

more the exploring

beauty arises

surprisingly

we are beings in time

we are beings out of time

 no wonder nothing reconciles  !

we are beings in time

we are beings out of time

i wonder if a poem

is a memory

that now

only exists

in the poem

loss

when we die

memories are what we leave behind

we constantly die

when we die

memories are what we leave behind

we constantly die

poems that twist this way

and that way

and can’t get to the point

deluded beings

spewing their nonsense

death holds no heaven

surely as it holds no hell

what would be nearest to heaven

wandering in late spring

warm air, flowers and a blue sky speckled with cloud would come close ?

i use only red led light for several hours before bed and i wonder if it has any negative effect ?

sometimes when i wake up, still in the hypnagogic state i will see an small red object in the center of my vision which rapidly disappears but apart from that i haven’t noticed anything

according  to this , it thickens the chorioid reducing myopia

philip larkin

a man

tring to make

meaning

of nothing

all i see about  free diving  is its very dangerous

i have been down to eleven meters which was all i have ever been prepared to do  (checking anchors)  and i was careful not to hyperventilate first, simply taking a deep breath or two before going under

as far as i can see, english literature education now is just teaching people to like junk and diss quality

the level of closed minded idiocy being put out by the phd programs just makes you cry

the slow circles of our errors

ten years

to accept

we should have done something else

what is memory

solid, a fixed event, a history ?

or an envanescent stripping of what was

till all that is known is a slight causeless discomfort

a flickering of meaning we are no longer privy to

in the end there’s no-one, not even yourself

your unfamiliar thoughts are rejected

sometimes punishingly

one can stare into the distance

but somehow

even that doesn’t work

lana del ray, damaged genius, only a step away from the mystic, but always a step

humans only became humans using language the way we do 70,000 years ago which is only the blink of an eye in evolutionary terms

an interesting  hypothesis  as to what happened

one day you wake up in a world where everything was wrong

only that was the same world as before you woke up

one day you wake up in a world where everything was wrong

only that was the world you lived in before

you can see that amy whitehouse doesn't accept  she is an addict

my re-translation of michizō tachihara’s  poem  “ on a cloudless day ”

the day belies my problems

glittering water, majestic sky

not so my life and me

weak the world

its entertainment circus

roundabouts of hellish

imposition

like whales tangled in floating rope

they flounder

i have written some very good poems recently that seem more like gift than me

i can never tell when another comes

and i’m petrified it will leave me

the sadness of lana del ray is alcohol limited her talent, there’s only hints of what it could be

since bob dylan got the nobel prize for literature the question arises as to whether or not he is a poet and whether he writes poetry

the problem is his imagery is not dense enough and the lyrics do not stand up apart from the music and singing

you just have to look at owlyn hughes to realise how different the family that sylivia plath married into was

nothing could have prepared her

its not death or sleep

yet when one is tired

and takes one’s rest and does nothing

then it seems

more than sleep or rest

or death but being

in sanctified quietness

a way to test for cataract is to look at a white fluorescent light, if its misty around the light that’s cataract

don’t have an operation before its necessary, with one or two exceptions, the natural lens gives the best health for the eye

comments that miss the mark, people don’t care about

comments that hit the mark, people react against

comments that deconstruct, people want to kill you

you can have the process but the content is misguided

you need the process to deliver quality content

religion is diseased ,  if you are comfortable there, then you are diseased too

i include atheism and agnosticism as religions

r|zen is diseased ,  if you are comfortable on r|zen then you are diseased too

doctors, surgeons and opthamologists are well paid tradesmen, complete trust is misguided

women are always looking for points of vulnerability in males, its like cats playing with mice, they need the practice

modern zen is zen in name only, its a poison, designed to derange people like all religion

be very careful of literary agents, a lot of them will send your work to their authors so they can copy your ideas

the basic problem with chocolate is it contains really quite toxic phenols

latex pillows can cause mild but significant allergic responses in the eye

almost inevitably famous women fall prey to attractive predatory men

the number of really talented people who kill their talent with drugs and alcohol just amazes me

the plus side of this is less competition all round

the root mechanism for migraine is the trigeminal ganglion behind the eye getting into a vicious circle with releasing an inflammatory neurotransmitter that accelerates the release of more neurotransmitter

i presume there are multiple causes of stress that can start the process

what i have found helps greatly is taking a teaspoon of taurine daily dissolved in warm water, its a potent antioxidant, however in combination with caffeine it can affect the heart negatively, a big flaw in the red bull formulation btw

what i find with anything is that mathematics is secondary to a conceptual understanding

the brain does not think mathematically in the first place except for a few damaged freaks

this is what a lot of poetry is, you are  improvising  off a synthesis of your own experience and what some-one else has said

work is always a form of battle

you just want to make sure you are getting twice what you are being paid back in experience and knowledge at the same time as providing value to your employer

no job is ever work taking the induction of health problems for

don’t buy  seagate

they never recovered from the loss of their factories in thai floods

personally i am never going to buy a hard disk again, the secret of flash memory is to program when the chips are warm and use good brands

my feeling is that if you could get a replacement chip, then with the right software you would be able to program the flash memory on it to work

the problem is the development of the software to do this

i also suspect that they will have a lot of failures  with this chip , they have got something wrong on it, one of the problems with custom rather than industry standard chips, we could be seeing the beginning of the death of apple, they are missing steve jobs, the management at the top is totally fucked, like boeing

brad warner, your lack of musical talent is disturbing, i’m not trying to put you down, there’s just something not right about you putting so much time into what you clearly have no talent for, a streak of schizophrenia

i think to understand what life is about you have to have some deep sorrow or grief as a child

excatly what this sorrow or grief is i don’t know

the world may say you are a walking piece of trash

you don’t have to grasp for self-esteem

but go out under

the night sky

and beauty

i was reading r|zen, something once i wanted to do, but now i don’t want to, its like reading something distasteful which actually it is

its really the craziness of the insane trying to boost their self esteem, playing at being  “ enlightened ”  all the while spewing ill thought out trash

then i went out around midnight to get more firewood

the beauty of the night struck me and i just sat on the woodpile for a while looking at it

the world may say you are a walking piece of trash

you don’t have to grasp for self-esteem

but go out under

the night sky

and beauty

can we ever know each other fully ?

from the solipsistic viewpoint you can’t

neither can you know yourself fully

can we ever know each other fully ?

from the solipsistic viewpoint you can’t

lasik remodels the cornea, one problem is nerve damage which can lead to dry eyes, its not a minor operation

there are tests they do to establish your suitability for the operation, but as with any eye operation its  “ buyer beware ”

you say your friends who got it are fine, i have really grown to distrust peoples reporting of this sort of thing, you have to know them really well to get the full truth and also have they had it for ten, twenty, thirty years ?

the huge advantage of glasses is you get optical correction without interference in the eye

a  reply

Indeed

I had a friend who had it done and is happy, but when questioned seems to have terrible night vision with halos and starbursts and all that.

His personality is such that he can happily live with such things, where I would be practically in despair

I have noticed a huge variation in tolerance to vision weirdness

Some people are so happy to not need correction that they will happily ignore the side effects

Also, I think it seems awesome to people who came from -5.0 or -10 diopter or something, where someone getting out of a -1.5 RX might be much less happy with the trade-offs

i might as well talk to myself

there’s no-one else

the air, the breeze the trees

a sensible conversation we can gain

talking to humans is profane

quantum and the theory of relativity are not incompatible, they just operate on different scales

what is interesting is the extent to which quantum logic infiltrates the large scale

christianity more than anything is a conversion from allegory into realism or physical materiality

large scale transubstantiation if you will

no wonder the relation between saudi arabia and isis is so ambiguous, isis is wahhābī

huh, i used to play  in forests  like that, supplejack vines everywhere

verbose peons have the usual problem, flinging around concepts without working them out properly

of course you can’t tell these people anything, they prefer to blather into the cosmos

i think part II of geothe’s faust can be summarised as

faust tries to improve the world and when he thinks he has succeeded, god kills him

its curiously parallel to the history of  the book ,  it was published in the year of his finishing it, but after his death

the coils of meaning wind on

the songs of heaven and hell purvey

the senseless search for meaning

when already the coils are winding

the realms of nonsense dismay

perched on the edge of sense

where meaning falls into disarray

the abyss turns into a park walk

a landscape of the sea

hippocampi frolic in the breakers

and angels walk over the lea

the ashes of the dead condense to tulips

the red reaches to the sky

the black road is a shortcut to forever

but once got there forever erodes to dust

the search for completion has failed

everything turns into everything

circles angle into illusion

and what’s on this page has paled

the end shovels in the beginning

the beginning flags the end

the bend opens up into the valley

the valley collapses into the peak

that was an interesting poem to write, took about twenty minutes in all, but the real work was done beforehand, i think the poem itself is a sort of tying up or together of threads i have been thinking about for a while

i had watched a  video  of philip larkin explaining how he composed  “ whitsunday weddings ”  and it was surprisingly deliberate so i thought i’d have a go at writing a long poem that way and this is what i ended up with

its full of echoes of blake and auden especially some of william blake’s visuals

because its a more deliberate construction i could explain it in a talk

it could be more rhymey, but in my view that detracts from the semantics and really you can read it two ways, verse by verse and without the verse breaks and imo that’s a tour de force that cannot be beaten so i am pretty happy with it as it is

lol, the millennial world, you have to sell what you do, only the selling overshadows what they do

one thing about the web is you can see people who racially completely not english, yet when they have been brought up in the culture and speak english as a first language, they are  just the same  as everybody else

pomplamoose + dodie in a version of  riding shotgun  i prefer to the original

how did mothers explain to their daughters they were likely to die in childbirth ?

scarcely mentioned but every other cause of mortality apart from the plague was overshadowed by this

milton understood women

eve did not intially choose adam, but her own reflection in a pool and still hankers after it

adam was always the second choice

actually he wasn’t even the second choice since god had to compel eve to go to adam

you never see celebrities with glasses despite  90%  needing them

this is because showing the eyes is so important

some women really discount their daughters and idolise the male children

isn’t buddhism just another  “ ufo cult ” ,  just as unreal, perhaps it has more dignity being minus the interspecies sex and dissection ?

the only way billions of people can get things so wrong with religion is to be operating in the wrong dimension

it doesn’t matter what you do, its still going to be wrong

maxfield and stephen parrish, andrew and newell wyeth, there’s somethings only two generations of artists can give

a very slow burning  video  i re-posted  (not mine)  four years ago, i am surprised to see general agreement in the comments

as far as i can see she is destroying her herself through drink, the flower will fade fast

isotretinoin is  a scary drug ,  potentially permanently damaging the eyes

given its affect, its a wonder that the drug is allowed to be prescribed

so this is what  lymes disease  looks like

politics

the endless

waffle

about

nothing

philip larkin’s most famous poem was  laborious  to write

i haven’t really come across anyone else writing the way i write which is for the fully formed poem to just drop out like that

i often don’t remember them accurately so have two versions or the version that came first springs another version

he drank himself to death

the talk about philip larkin, sylvia plath, and emily dickinson

they talk and talk

and

never

write

reading widens you

 can the world be too wide ?

you can’t say no

you can’t say yes

in my view its useful to keep track of the actual figure for eye pressure, it is a marker of a more general problem, its not necessarily causative of glaucoma

i’ve had an interest in dogen translations over the years and really they are all very unsatisfactory

i think the root issue is not working from the medieval japanese and a failure to address the literary and philological problems

of course to do that is a life’s work, but everyone just takes the easy route of working from very flawed translations to the modern japanese

also what i find interesting is the way the tsurezuregusa by yoshida kenkō is denied by zen, never a reference to this way much more well known and respected work by a buddhist monk who was writing about 80 years after dogen died  and who also was a kyoto homeboy, its intellectual subterfuge not to compare what is really a parallel text though kenkō had never heard of dogen

the tsurezuregusa has the authentic medieval flavour and is not the bowdlerized western taste conforming fraud that dogen tranlations are

the insane belong together

the sane belong together

the criminals belong together

the abnormals belong together as abnormal

why don’t i fit ?

the insane belong together

the sane belong together

the criminals belong together

the abnormals belong together as abnormal

where do i fit ?

the insane belong together

the sane belong together

the criminal belong together

the abnormal belong together as abnormal

where do i fit ?

one generation lives through a war

three generations down its like it never happened

one generation lives through a war

two generations down its like it never happened

why do i feel monasteries and convents are homes for the mentally ill ?

experience

i never memorise  (with the odd exception)  what i write and sometimes i can't even tell that i wrote it, people quote me back to me without saying i wrote it and i’m like what ?

i was thinking of the really great musicians who play from memory and don’t read the music as they perform, but i think this is wrong, they have too strong a grip on the music whereas if they were less familiar with it and read the score as they play then they would be approaching it fresh to a greater degree and be released from the burden/prison that playing just from memory imposes

a very good  interview  with yuja wang, she talks well, not usual in top performers

all a poem has to do is draw the reader in

they may not understand it, or dislike it, but that they were drawn in says everything

i get these obnoxious types who argue with what i say

i have no interest in what they say but they don’t seem to get there’s a billion words out there, why are they giving attention to what i write ?

all a poem has to do is draw the reader in

they may not understand it, or dislike it, but that they were drawn in says everything

brad warner  writes

“ well  .  .  .   i do actually read dogen in japanese sometimes ”

my  reply

is that really the case ?

aren’t you reading a translation from medieval to modern japanese ?

also i know that some of what has come down from him is in his own hand, but other documents are of unknown closeness to what he said or wrote

lots of young people claiming to be aspergers or some such, but the asperger’s people i know are rational, the claimers are more like dumbed down schizophrenic

an early poem  by jenny joseph, with, i think, a double meaning

the gentleman that my black hen lays eggs for

has diamond links joining impeccable cuffs and a suit and a voice and a smile of exquisite finish

but has never been known to express a liking

for eggs

which is all that my black hen has been known to lay for him

bell’s theorem

even physics

is

not

true

birth to death we live a life of illusion

it seems to mean something to us

and

perhaps

it does

i don’t have any problem with myself coming to my poems the same as anyone else, because we all come to them as readers

once i came as a writer, but if i have done my job well, it stands alone

leonard cohen’s guitar playing comes from flamenco

a tragic story  as it happens

you can get eye changes from aging on a scale of decades where IOL exchange operations become much more problematic

it seems to me that a badly off axis toric IOL added higher order aberration elements that were almost uncorrectable with spectacles or laser corneal surgery, but have been unable to find any research on this

a toric IOL is a useful possibility but i notice the surgeons only think in terms of five years out and i was wondering what happened say at age 85+ when the eye can change significantly and fragility is such that difficult eye operations should be avoided

there is a ray of light which is the use of femtolaser to create compensating diffractive patterns within the lens, but that’s probably ten years off

for the aging eye everything degrades, from pressure exerted by the eyelid to corneal changes

its a dynamic structure, even the cornea rotates as a whole , though quite slowly

sphere changes are easily remedied by spectacles, i’m not sure that large axis changes won’t require a lens exchange

an interesting  article  on placing an IOL in the cillary sulcus

an article on  anterior chamber  lens placement

islam is a form of nestorian christianity and a now long defunct form of christanity called   “ tritheism ”  which was competing with islam at the time has earnt the ire of the koran

once you understand the position of the koran as a polemic against  “ the father, son and holy ghost ”  christian schema, it makes much more sense

there are a lot of behaviors that don’t make sense in terms of personal survival, but do make sense in terms of reproduction

there are a lot of behaviors that don’t make sense in terms of personal survival, but do make sense in terms of reproductive behaviors

i don’t usually post what might be construed as a political oponion but i was looking at this interview of  roman polanski  and it opened up an aspect i hadn’t previously considered which is closure for the relatives affected

i am now in favour of the death penalty because its not possible for the relatives of the victim to have closure while the perpetrators are still living

i suspect this is hardwired into our brains given what history says in this area

also society needs to make a reference point in touch with what really happens and the imposition of effective consequences

traitors like julian assange should face the death penalty too

the above opinons do not make me right wing, its an objective look at how a society functions and of course opinions go into the sea of nothingness

most cults are basically organised around sex, either promiscuous or some sort of hierarchical control or an illegality like paedophilia or incest

themes of life and death don’t interest me

not much does

except a growing distaste for the blather of the world

if only

they weren’t so aggressive with it

stupid robots with

their fixed theories of mind

why would i offer advice, i’m not prepared to offer help

if you read history and the endless circuses and mock and real tragedies that occur, you wouldn’t have the slightest concern with contemporary politics except in so much as it affects you

unsurprisingly this is how most people operate, even without the historical insight

people are more comfortable with life than me

i’m not so comfotable

quite illustrative  of the blind meaningless alleys we can end up in our lives, the ending is a bit optimistic imo

written and directed by carys watford, i have often seen writers/directors like her on the web, they manage one good work, but  the rest  is a bit lackluster

the credits are an exercise in how expensive films are to make

even the great poets, there’s only 20 or thirty really good poems  (or long poem equivalents)

thats all i aim for

philip larkin

king

of the women

he

never  engaged with

if you confront the insane with reason

you are then confronted with why they are insane

rest in peace r|zen

if you confront the insane with reason

you are then confronted with why they are insane

travel takes you afar

reading takes you further

across time

and

people

travel takes you afar

reading takes you further

somewhere

in a far land

is a sundial

shaded by leafy elms

in winter it can tell the time

in summer it is useless

a plaque is fixed to the base

it says

“ philosopher ”

the mystical path

so difficult

to learn completeness

from an incomplete world

and even the completeness

drops out

from under you

the mystical path

so difficult

to learn completeness

from an incomplete world

and even the completeness

drops from

under you

poetry is just a bunch of words written on a page

good poetry is something different

the dual world

imagination

reality

you can get lost in one

and bored in the other

sadness cries

and uncries

i wish i could say more

but tears drown

and don’t speak

sadness cries

and uncries

sadness cries

uncries

a million manic T-cells

munching on an invader

half way through

the shout goes out

hang on boys, its self

not other

late afternoon

the trees and grass

lit

by yellow

4:37pm

the days just gone

 where has it gone ?

i was out hunting past midnight at about two below zero, three shots, two misses, one wallaby, obviously not shooting that great

today i am feeling a bit wrecked, first time i have really noticed this happening after hunting where i didn't get wet in the rain

its age i guess or am i just noticing ?

clocking the slow decline

monotheism is touted as superior to polytheism, but the practical implementation of monotheism necessitates hierarchies of god and the  “ nearer ”  to god, buddha, whatever

its a travesty of  final cause

any good story requires  “ superconnection ”

that is the basis of their unreality

‘ correct ’  is a projection

‘ incorrect ’  is not

life is like a long road trip on highways, but its the side roads that give understanding

self-appointment is so instrumental in what we do

why ?

buddhism is just  “ greek philosophy meets religion ”

i wouldn’t do monovision at the iol level but only in glasses

a quote from the ancient greek poetess praxilla

learn the story of  admetus ,  my friend, love good people

and keep clear of cowards, knowing the cowards thanks is very small

another one

my friend watch out for the scorpion under every stone

there you are, life experience and advice from a woman living two thousand, four hundred and fifty years ago

i’ve got to hand it to nigella lawson, for all the trauma of her personal life she presents an   unruffled exterior

what i notice is there’s a lot of poets  (past and present)  who write good poetry ,  but hardly any think like you

there’s only a few that think like you

what i notice is there’s a lot of poets  (past and present)  who write good poetry ,  but hardly any think like you

there’s only one or two that think like you

i often wonder about my writing which is pretty episodic and not thematic

whereas milton, blake and dante are hugely thematic

but i think its a difference in technology, blake, milton and dante were working from the consistent cultural construct of christianity which is really the dominant technological edifice of their eras  (blake being a bit  “ retro ”  in this respect)

today’s technology is the ADHD web, i jump from thing to thing, they developed their own idiosyncratic theologies in the christian context

that’s all

a poem by  sara holbrook

tripping

suitcases in the attic

clouds above my head

tempting me to daydream

trips

to magic spots

instead of writing in my journal

or picking up my clothes

lifting me from daily doings

to visit

 well  .   .   .

who knows ?

my  reply

work first

fantasy last

 what is last shall be first ?

i basically have one rule when it comes to criticizing poems

write a poem in reply

the young are insolent

to the

old

not

knowing

that they too get old

the

old know

and forebear

always the most surprising thing

about poetry

is anybody reads it

because

it

is reasoning and understanding

without mood

always the most surprising thing

about poetry

is anybody reads it

because

it

is reasoning without mood

astigmatism tends to fluctuate in consistent ways with age, its well worth understanding how to read a prescription

a study on the long term effects on eye health of  an eye tattoo  would be useful

the eye has a privileged position in the immune system and i am sure the effects of the ink cannot be good

the point at which tattoos and body modification become mental illness will have an interesting comparison to anorexia, at some point the competence to survive has been suppressed, not kicked in or is not there

adele is different, she  “ grips ”  the interviewer so he is  blasted out  of his comfort zone into an area she is comfortable in

she’s not a bystander, she is effectively interacting with and shaping reality

how disturbing the mystical path

the incompleteness of the world as a guide

we shape the world according to the way we have already shaped it

we create the world out of the world

is there a world or just what we have created ?

lol, more  fat shaming

“ in normal aging adults, the overall thinning rate of the cortical mantle is between 0.01 and 0.10 mm per decade, and our results would indicate that being overweight or obese may accelerate aging in the brain by at least a decade ”

there’s a 100 million  bacteria  in an apple, most in the seeds, the remainder in the flesh

if you look at  the graph ,  prior to about 1850, the world was actually cooling

you never read eihei dogen, you read the translator

he’s always about 90% waffle and 10% substance, but the substance can be very good

he can also be quite wrong

from the pupil black stream purling

ink is liquid

dreaming seems

there’s something missing with carrie fisher, immense intellectual talent but it turns out she is drug and ECT wreckage

another example of how  “ unbenign ”  pot and LSD are

a new hazard of modern life is the profusion of the drug damaged, not only are they extremely needy but they fuck you around with the expertise involvment in drug culture has given them

they look normal on the outside, but inside is some level of dante’s  inferno

genuine  doppelgangers

i would like to think there’s something to do

but there’s nothing to do

one picks up a few words now and then

that’s all

a william blake quote

the ruins of time build mansions in eternity

one day

you will give up

on trying to save anyone

except yourself

one day

you will give up

on accepting anybody else as rational

except yourself

one day

you will give up

one day

you will give up

on trying to save anyone

except yourself

one day

you will give up

on accepting anyone as rational

except yourself

one day

you will give up

marie kondo with her reverence for the inanimate is actually shinto and it fits well with andy clark’s  “ extended mind ”  and karl friston’s markov blanket

women are always interested in love

i think its because its much more tangible for them than for men

i think video has it all over photography

underlying everything is the random re-combination of genes called fertilization

what is unique about william blake, john milton, wolfgang goethe and dante i guess are the intensities of their involvement with the religious view as well as the artistic

this involvement for all its flaws, i think covers a truer view than the purely artistic

emily dickinson, syliva plath, jenny joseph and orhan veli kanık also fit in this category, but   “ final cause ”  can be expressed much more succinectly in poetry than the elaborate semantic structures of blake and milton, but  “ horses for courses ”

the opthalmological research on the web is of exceptionally high quality

IQ tests measure the type of intelligence that does well in IQ tests

if you meet people who are in mensa they always seem a bit insane

the notion that intelligence is uni-dimensional from top to bottom to bottom to top is asinine

a way of looking at japanese culture is its mentally ill and i can’t say my experience of western zen monasteries is any better

the juice of two freshly squeezed oranges goes well with goat’s milk yogurt and when mixed together and heated to a bit above pasturizing temperature  (72°C ?)  is a very nice  “ drink ”

i like the new visco-elastic polyurethane pillows i brought on special for $35 for two, they are quite firm and won’t suit everybody, but the very much more expensive latex pillows are problematic in my view in terms of eye inflamation because latex is to some degree allergenic

thinking slowly

around the bend

getting there

i pick up a pen

he thinks slowly

around the bend

to end

up

with  a  pen

the culture is not the truth of a religion

or is it ?

you just project over what i say to make up some projection of your own

you are not replying to the content of what i wrote, rather something going around in your head

the world has gone quiet

love has fled

finding the ground too stoney

something else arises

illumination

when the world has gone quiet

love has fled

finding the gound too stoney

something else arises

illumination

saliva is a  transmission path  for gonorrhoea

recent research is showing that most prosate cancer operations are unecessary, that the cancers are slow growing and non metastasizing

“ what are good reasons to live ? ”

you only come this way once

silver is a heavy metal and extended use seems to drive people a bit crazy

it works well for skin and eye infections, but as i say keep the use to a minimum

i knew of several people who had their digestive health negatively affected by taking   “ soil organisms ”

bad fads don’t die, they limp on in the lame

i have looked in every corner

there still are suprises

what can i say ?

the moon still rises

and i work without pay

i have taken a trip around all that could ever be

and found no limit to what never was

as to what was more valuable

i couldn’t say

my life is my advice

don’t get married

my life is my advice, don’t get married

poor little spoilers

wanting to spoil

making themselves the travail of genius

still they give themselves away

by wanting to spoil

poor little spoilers

wanting to spoil

making themselves the travails of genius

still they give themselves away

by wanting to spoil

rephrasing  1:59

everything is a projection, but there is a projection that is true outside the falseness of projections

my reply to brad warner reading the famous  “ ten directions  -  a thousand eyes ”   quote  of eihei dogen

the whole of the universe in the twenty five directions is two and three and four and five, but three and four and five are not the whole of the universe in the sixty-five directions

each finger tip is not a finger tip and each ear is an eye and the tip of a tongue is the toe and an eye is alienated from a thousand

realisation is an illusion

people who don’t look at history

are imprisoned by the present

the present lies

history doesn’t

the motivations and specious reasoning are stripped bare

what happens is is simply explained

in terms of gain, error, competence, incompetence and luck

love

that female chasing of emotion

this passage  ( 36:28 )  in  “ jerusalem ”  by william blake is reminisce of  this scene  in  “ the master and margarita ” ,  by mikhail bulgakov

“ at times they would murmur in the flower small as the honey bee and the space of the flower would open out into a universe, every child knows this, or at other times will they would explore among the stars expanding and contracting their exhalted senses

at will they murmur in the flower small as the honey bee, at will they step from star to star ”

kathleen raine quoting blake in david cayley’s podcast

a video  with kathleen

also i think the podcast is right about blake being an influence on marxism and other sordid and unreal utopias

a readable version  of the actual illuminated  preface to william blake’s poem  “ milton ”

a good  podcast  series

“ oh why was i born with a different face

why was i not born like the rest of my race

when i look each one starts

when i speak, i offend

then i’m silent and passive and lose every friend

i am either too low or too highly prized

when elate i am envied, when meek despised ”

a relative has just been in vietnam saying she had a wonderful time, but vietnam always sounds weird to me being brought up during its war

angkor wat failed because it got drier, rather like what happened to the aztecs at their peak, not enough rainfall to support the irrigated agriculture those sorts of hierarchical  “ temple ”  societies depended on

i think religion is philosophical ideas fleshed out in something bizarre

doctrines, ceremonies, hierarchies

from a  reddit thread ,  hard to beat for interest because its distillation of the greatest trauma

“ my grandmother’s friend was a jew in poland, her and her family faced some pretty heinous persecution but she never openly discussed it and we never knew the extent of what she experienced

in her later life she took up painting but was pretty secretive of the work she did

after she passed away my grandmother was in her house to help pack up her things and opened the closet in her room

lining the inside of the closet were all of her paintings, they were a mixture of photo-realistic and abstract pictures or what we assume were her supressed memories

there was so much emotion in them, and they were truly heart breaking to see

we will never really know what she went through, but after seeing these pictures we can see how much fear and pain she was harbouring ”

there is a lot of everything out there

how can you resolve it ?

you can’t

the name of the game on the net is wasting people’s time, i am always careful to get value out of what i write so i’m ahead

i liked the early days of the net when you could meet really really strange people because it wasn’t understood how public the net was, the suspicion wasn’t there

beautiful women have ordinary minds

extraordinary looking women have ordinary minds

extraordinary looking women have very ordinary minds

my philosophy of life

everything is in need of correction

of course, it doesn’t have to get it or want it

cancer is like a dystopian science fiction story ,  the mutants win

the origin  of spaghetti westerns

we are the products of  a culling  by our mother’s immune systems

svetlana alexievich is writing about  communal illusions  that fail so irrevocably and disastrously they leave stunned dissonance and tragedy in their wake that cannot be denied

there's a lot that occurs

not even a tiny portion is written down

south-southeast is also  the direction  of petra

happy birthday

some get younger, in spirit at least !

people confuse politics with their personal opinion

that’s not how it works

if you want to know how it works look at history

noah’s ark would have been an extinction event because the gene pools of all the species on it, including the humans would be too small

poetry is more than a condensation of something very substantial into a few words

it is what cannot be approached in prose

people write and talk with no idea of cognitive shortfalls

people write with no idea of cognitive shortfalls

the suicide by jorge luis borges

not a star will remain in the night

the night itself will not remain

i will die and with me the sum

of the intolerable universe

i’ll erase the pyramids, the coins

the continents and all the faces

i’ll erase the accumulated past

i’ll make dust of history, dust of dust

now i gaze at the last sunset

i am listening to the last bird

i bequeath nothingness to no-one

my  reply

he died and neither were the pyramids nor continents erased

the faces of the accumulated past

continued to accumulate

the universe remained tolerable and intolerable

he became the dust of history

the failure of making sense out of nonsense

women are forced by evolution

to over-invest in the male

with the usual result

the written word takes on its own life

because it is its own life

it can mean anything

passoa with his trunk

charles bukowski never looked at a poem once he had written it

quality control on poems

takes place much later

times change but they don’t change

how don’t they change ?

they change

endless the world

goes around and around

the moon hasn’t stopped

without a sound

banter the brigand

for its life is at stake

the world still turns

because that’s what it takes

endless the world goes around and around

don’t write for its own sake

write for its own sake

don’t write

write

nothing to say really

in the beginning was what ?

the word ?  the brain

hard to say

before the beginning was what

the word, the brain

hard to say

hard to say

hard to say

and so on

the vast morass of words

and words on words

what chance does a poem have ?

i’m right and he’s wrong

no, he’s right and i’m wrong

oh

so

goes

the

endless

song

its not a good idea to stand  under trees  when there is lightening

“ you’re not giving advice, you’re making judgements on the person, as if you know them ”

both you and the OP seem unable to take what i said objectively  (ed. that the OP was full of himself) ,  i was discussing the writing, how it flows through to the personal life i have no interest in, but given the  extreme tenderness  of the replies and their narcissistic attempts to bully me into a different opinion, there are obviously issues

what i notice with people like you is you don’t even read the thread fully, but blinded by your own viewpoints you race through not even understanding what the  “ opponent ”  (as you view it)  says

writing is a cognitive skill, you have to be up to par cognitively to write at a certain level

inferior writers attempt to control the criticism but quality writers search the criticism for the benefits it offers and build cognition

“ argumentum ad homenium ”  is arguing against the person, but there’s a subtle variant which is arguing for the person making the attack, usually that very same person attacking by promoting his own overriding personal validity

i spend a lot of time on the trivial

to be honest i can’t tell the difference between working on the creative or the trivial though i can sometimes sorta see the wheels turning in hindsight

who are you

who am i

who is the moon

what is the sky

who are you

who am i

who is the moon

who is the sky

if a poem doesn’t say anything beyond what is being said, its not a poem

the point of posting in a public forum is to get criticism, not be a wilting flower

in my misery the tears of my poems you cannot reach

your hands, so graceful enchant with a song of their own

is there a place where these worlds can meet ?

in my misery the tears of my poems you cannot touch

your hands, so graceful enchant with a song of their own

is there a place where these worlds can meet ?

my verses are tears

yet i don’t cry for you

or

me

or anybody else

i cry in my poems

that is my voice

the tears are your own

thermopylae is really a failure of the spartan ethic, they got caught on the hop, the whole thing was stupid

an interesting  confusion  between the narrator and characters

i wonder if the reason why i can’t write stories is because they seem so limited

the moment i express something it blows the story off the map

thats why i prefer poetry, its an integrated destruction of the map

brad warner  describes  dai kensho

it surprised me that he was somewhat on the nail

for myself having many of these experiences its like you have suddenly gone to somewhere totally strange for unmeasured amounts of time and you have come back totally changed by this journey because that’s what it takes to make even small changes to our real life selves

you remember very little of it except as it closes out and there maybe are a few words or a poem in the very last stages of it closing out

i was actually really surprised to see brad so close to the nail

you absolutely cannot fabricate the experience its so distinct and unique and i remember when it happened to me at a zen retreat and i could clearly see no-one there including the teacher had the foggiest as to what it was so i then embarked on a search to find out more and ended up with toni packer at the springwater center as the only person who had any clues

the big thing after that which has taken me decades is to understand the 99.9999% nature of the fraud of religion and zen, that you may be the only one in a generation or billion with real understanding which seems statistically improbable but is the fact

you’re the one authentic thing is a sea of pretending flotsam

i don’t understand why people have to be like this, all they have to do is a bit of real work, but its always anything but

i was thinking of getting a lock working on an interior door, but what’s  the point  ?

tokai, cape town

really moving  footage  of a woman in a concentration camp holding the hand of an allied solder

“ sudden or gradual enlightenment ?

i’ll be happy either way ! ”

you’ll be happier with the blinkers left on

eihei dogen is clearly of the sudden enlightenment and visionary camp, however, this doesn’t suit the western cultural atheism so people ignore it as inconvenient

unfortunately zen seems to do nothing but train people to have fake enlightenment experiences which they then take and turn into gradual idiocy

there should be many genuine enlightenment experiences and you know you are on the right track when you are surprised over twenty and many more years how the way you look at things is constantly and slowly changing

zen is a medieval paradigm of  “ final cause ”  and only makes sense in the context of celibacy

your defensiveness on the subject is your own conviction

your defensiveness is your own conviction

good poetry is not full of the writer, it has an objective cast

bad poetry can never get past the egoism of the writer and at best is some mirror to his/her imperfections

he asks about poetry

and writes blather

poor pessoa

medicating with wine

and  complaining  about

what he shuts out

when stalin got to hell the devil brought up ivan the terrible and genghis khan so they could all bow down before stalin

as the three bowed to him, stalin raised an eyebrow and asked

where’s hitler ?

a poem

an anchor of sense

in a sea of nonsense

i should not be attempting to persuade you of anything

having one child is enough for a woman to lose her energy

a question of three words, like  “ what is time  “  can seem very spacey, but in fact it has no definitive answer

if you leave something, in the distance, the insufficiencies become glaring

reynold a. nicholson’s  translation  of the mathnawi

rumi attracts a lot of sentimentalising pontification for some reason

if i had to sum up what i have learnt about life, its a conspiracy to waste your time

i have been a very slow learner in this respect, giving credence to idiocy past the point of comprehension

where you are accepted

no - one speaks

you can read them

they are dead, often long ago

looking for embers

raking through the ashes

it hardly seems worthwhile

and yet

it gives birth

to

the necessary

strangeness

the world is not entirely without sophisticated  humour

the feeling of migraine lifts

one stops visualising graves

and life begins again

the feeling of migraine lifts

one stops visualising headstones

and life begins again

partings

solipsism reasserts

a woman’s child is the anchor

of her life

it is hers

men like stars can turn around her fixed pole

they don’t understand this

a woman’s child is the anchor

of her life

its hers

men like stars can turn around her fixed pole

they don’t understand this

a woman’s child is the anchor

of her life

men like stars can turn around her fixed pole

they don’t understand this

one lover

or another

endless the forms

that might be

what is

the

 sense of this ?

life

don’t argue with the scriptwriter

write

the

script

the factual world is not how infinity is

infinity is not how the factual world is

if those we have loved and lost could come back at their best

the world would stop spinning

the galaxy fold

universes spawn like drops of dew

time swallowed by a frog

god cleans faustus’s shoes

we could not be

the beauty of writing is you can create worlds utterly decoupled from reality with no consequences, they can be anything and have no effect

and then lenin read marx and stalin and the politburo signed beria’s proposal for what became the katyn massacre

its fine with me if you waste your time

its not fine with me if you waste my time

the  seed bed  of some of yukio mishima’s nationalistic craziness

god zen is fucked up

you cannot find  “ you ”  anywhere

family may be similar

but they are still not you

to find you, you must medicinally correct  “ not you ”

unpleasant, overwhelming depressing

no wonder so many avoid the task

i think a lot of what osip mandelstam is about is the dissonance of the transition from the benign pre-WW1 world of russia into the looking glass craziness of the soviets, every movement you make as a writer is to bang your head on a brick wall that will, if you are not careful, fall on you

optometry has a standard model based on two roughly perpendicular meridians, but you can get things outside the standard model which they call  “ irregular" or  “ higher order aberrations ”  which is a vast rabbit hole so to speak

lauterbrunnen ,  switzerland

the crowds have no answers

the philosophers have no answers

the religious teachers have no answers

 who has the answers ?

the philosophers have no answers

the crowds have no answers

the religious teachers have no answers

 who has the answers ?

any idea of teaching is a form of schizophrenia

any idea of  ‘ teaching ’  is a form of schizophrenia

any idea of  “ teaching ”  is a form of schizophrenia

it boggles the mind that a microraptor that died with a lizard of unusual dentition in its stomach 120 millon years ago can be known about today, but the reading age of zen students and teachers is still less than five

it boggles the mind that a microraptor that died with a lizard of unusual dentition in its stomach 120 millon years ago can be known about today, but students of whatever religion still can’t read anything outside  “ approved ”  texts

it boggles the mind that  a microraptor  that died with a lizard of unusual dentition in its stomach 120 millon years ago can be known about today

jason  writes

well i had sugar so i’m hopped up, looking at a blue screen doesn’t help

fixing sleep, less sugar, more meditation, that’s what i want from myself

my  reply

screens in the evening make the body  crave sugar

i stop using screens two hours before sleep and do nothing under red led light, its meditation and reflection effectively

say 500iu of vitamin D and 90 mcg of K2/MK-7 daily are basic imo

vitamin D is anti-inflammatory and reduces the autoimmune response

its crazy to use low sodium salt, we are not designed for it

the problem with cataract operations is once the lens goes in  you are to all intents and purposes stuck with it for the rest of your life

the necessity of schizophrenia

in religious teaching

because

without the schizophrenia

you

have

no

teaching

and

actually

i wonder

whether

that

applies

to any teaching

at all

the necessity of schizophrenia

in religious teaching

because

without the schizophrenia

you

have

no

teaching

i have been  corresponding  about osip mendalstam with this finnish guy who gave some interesting background on the finnish intellectual scene

“ i’ve always leaned more to the left, but jesus did our cultural elite worship the soviet union like it was paradise.  funnily enough no one wants to be honest about their past even though its hardly a secret

one of the absolute low points in our culture circles was the fact, that they happily spied on behalf organisations like STASI and KGB.  in 1976 very influential finnish artists sent a  “ solidarity telegram ”  to stasi.  they were apologizing, that a DDR musician, wolf biermann had succumbed to capitalism

biermann originally moved from west to east germany in the fifties as a blue eyed idealist.  founded a theater that got shut down, was forbidden to release his works and eventually he got exiled.  he talked openly about the reality in DDR and as a reward got stabbed in the back by people who are still some of my favourite artists

as i was refreshing my memory i saw the names on the telegram.  one of them is the woman who translated horseshoe.  good grief.  i did not know that ”

lol, not exactly hallmark, i was a bit skeptical of it, but there’s something  to it

actors and actresses are ten a penny, but good writer-directors are scarcer than hen’s teeth

things that happen in childhood and your teenage years have quite a big impact and basically you carry them through the rest of your life

i think the main life problem charles bukowski had was he had no peers, the nearest to him intellectually at twelve years younger was sylvia plath, but they never had any contact and from what one knows of sylvia, attitudinally she was very conventional middle class, hugely detrimental to her in fact

her father was quite an interesting man, worth researching, she was the product of unusual people

below is a verse from osip mandelstam’s poem  “ the horseshoe finder ” ,  transalted by w.s. merwin and clarence brown, i can’t find it on the web, but here is another  translation  and  another

therefore

the one who finds a horseshoe

blows the dust from it

rubs it with wool till it shines

and then

hangs it over the door to rest

not to be made to strike sparks from the flint again

prior to WW1 russia was great for a poet like osip mandelstam, then with the civil war that lifestyle collapsed and got unbelievably bad and persecutive

it wasn’t even a bad dream, it was to transition from a pastoral idyll to a living nightmare

he uses the horseshoe again in his poem about stalin  (the one that got him killed)

nothing worse for a poet than to live under a dictator with literary interests

so what comes of reading  ‘ lycidas ’ ?

well i dreamed my brother was drowned, no body recovered and i went on a long train trip

we had walked and climbed around a headland, when we got to the other side there was a small boat with an outboard motor on, i made him go back around the way we came in the boat  and he never arrived

i’m interested to see anybody at all interested in osip mandelstam, of course  “ the seashell ”  is the greatest poem ever written

i don’t think russian translates well into english and we never really get his poems

the plus side of being downvoted is you know your material was sufficiently compelling that they read or watched it despite disagreeing with it

brad warner thinks that bob lazar is believable, if not necessarily correct, but i’ve just looked at   a video  with bob lazar and he is clearly schizophrenic and a bullshitter, you must be more than gullible brad

well we all have our different areas of gullibility, knowledge and experience is the only protection

did you know chernobyl occurred because they were mucking around with the back-up power supply ?

john milton faced the same problem in  ‘ lycidas ’  as the jews faced with the holocaust, that their notions of god were meaningless and actually the last verse is a sort of recognition of this