that don't warrant a page by themselves
or seem to fit better here
pending poems index
chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page
audio files can be complemented by listening to with the eyes closed !
the
evening
star
a
center
of
flux
in
the
clear
evening
sky
i
looked
for
a
while
then
went
inside
evening
star
a
center
of
flux
in
the
clear
evening
sky
i
looked
for
a
while
then
went
inside
for
dinner
giving your 6.4 meter a plug on my homilies page steve !
much good it will do you, people's attitude to health is VERY depressing
mindless morons steered by who knows what? the more stupid the better as far as they are concerned !
more brilliant cloud reflection
13th feb 2012, 1.40 to 2.15pm 78-81 iu/min @ 62° to 60° solar altitude, be about 20% over clear sky i think !
i think there's some very non linear effects with sun on the skin, like 20% extra sun and uv intensity is more like 100% adding something !
ah
well
summer is dying here : o (
it's very different to be writing this stuff, not for the passing hour but
eternity !
wether
lasts
or
not
still
eternity !
“ nests and
eggs ” !
nests and eggs !
at the beginning of this talk, paul lowe actually says some sense (before he descends into the usual advaita schizophrenia) about why people don't make progress and become “spiritual robots”, which is all of you lot (ed. batgap)
he calls it being conditional and i would say it's an inability to tolerate disruptions to your world view
your view is you all have some understanding and that what this is about is generally accessible and you have garnered on that accessibility
but the fact is it's not and you are abusive , stupid and purile to maintain the fiction of your understanding !
let's just try a little step and see if you can leave these two posts (ed. this and the one just below, but they were in fact deleted within about 2 hours !) up and let infinity start to work some of its magic and open up things a bit !
by opening up i mean moving out of the closed circle of the self reinforcing world view that batgap is ! frightening huh? scary to face that schizophrenia ; o )
you don't tolerate any disruptions to your world view and are not concerned that in fact you don't understand and in fact have a sort of contrary inversion, even donkeys “get it” better than you !
you're a stupid FOOL rick archer, delete this you TWIT !
lucas lindbolm is just as crazy as the rest, trying to make sense of recursion
just show me ONE religious or advaita teacher who is half way right, just the detritus of some failed social melding with infinity !
bullshitting about truth you delete what shows you and all the fakes up............!!!!!!!!!!
the sinking of the titanic - charles lightoller
the significance of the deafening release of steam is the ship had been under propulsion at slow ahead for ten minutes after the collision forcing water through the sprung plates, supposedly on the request of the bruce ismay, chairman of the board of the white star line !
i can only think the captain was demented !
minimum contact is the best way with people as you say
things seem to work much better like that
minimum contact is the best way as you say
things seem to work much better like that
“ i stand here amidst ye flowers to tell ye passing of the hours ”
inscription on an old sundial at my grandparents lovely old house and garden in victoria avenue, auckland, possibly made by james stewart
“ i stand here admist ye flowers to tell ye passing of the hours ”
inscription on an old sundial at my grandparents lovely old house and garden in victoria avenue, auckland, possibly made by james stewart
i think this homily parents lover react against me is a universal one, i suppose everyone feels it
it's really everyone's experience i think
its more about solipsism than anything else
we react because the very closeness intrudes upon us
it's funny how something that looks straightforward can escalate
eileen writes:
if i may say ur voice sounds more alive in these later audios...the strahan ones especially imo
relaxed
u come thro
emotion shows
andrew replies:
could be just practice, i do think it's a very effective form of voice therapy, using the digital voice recorder !
closing my eyes when making a recording helps too
toni packer used to always close her eyes when making a talk and i always wondered why, i can see now it's to give a much greater concentration on what is being said !
sorta a melding of the auditory and visual fields !
their real power is being like a photograph of thoughts, they bring back previous experiences and considerations !
you have a real good reading voice by the way, a gift
would figure you won't touch a voice recorder !
eileen replies:
i've always disliked my voice ever since i heard it on a recorder an RAF teacher in kenya brought in and got us to use
i realize now way too late he had something the raf teachers usually didn't have, some individuallity
he was special
took me to see the opera aida
i was about 10 i think
him and his wife had no kids
took pity on me i think
saw what my parents were like i think
andrew replies :
he saw something special in you
you have trouble accepting that about yourself
but you
are
special!
one
is
just
writing
and
pages
of
them !
one
is
just
writing
pages
and
pages
of
them !
homilies
one
is
just
generating
pages
and
pages
of
them !
the
problem
with
musicians
is
they
put
all
their
weight
in
mood
and
not
enough
in
function !
van
gogh
jean
calment's
remembrance
of
him
dirty
unkempt
smelly
that
singleness
of
vision
was
from
brain
formed
differently !
being
present
we're
all
present
anyway
there's
no
other
state
in
ordinary
life
that
is
some
sort
of
answer
i'm
not
saying
there
there
is
no
other
state
that
is
some
sort
of
answer
that was very effective and unlike all your other interviewees has something to offer you !
you are looking for an answer in people when the problem is a lack of semantic depth, all this now stuff is just prattle !
and
not
enough
sleep
i
know
what
it's
like
fuckin'
hell
on
wheels !
reading
the
orchard
and
rose
garden
the
755
years
between
us
are
nothing
3 days without sleep is quite serious, we both know what i am talking about don’t we .....................
i have put a page together with things that can help like mrm melatonin and strontium citrate and especially understanding circadian rhythm and how it synchronises off light and colours
surprisingly eating a bit of fresh lamb fat can help
my message board if you want to discuss health issues
intense sun on the forehead which can go down the sutures into the brain can also help synchronise the circadian rhythm
well talent and this sort of thing go together, if one doesn’t want to end up like amy winehouse.............................. really medicine has nothing to offer you so you have to think outside the box !!!!!!
it’s a bit depressing really, i doubt you will raise a finger to effectively help yourself, your generation is like a pasty for medicines’s over simple and full of side effect solutions !
western
world
is
generally
supportive
of
the
existing
chinese
governmental
regime
because
of
it's
very
sensible
population
control
polices
which
is
one
of
the
great
legacies
of
chairman
mao !
tho
i
suppose
the
top
of
the
pot
is
going
to
blow
off
sometime
like
the
arab
spring !
do
you
keep
writing
these
homilies?
i
value
them
i'd
discard
them
if
i
could
but
i
can't
bring
myself
to
do
it !
being
very
repetitive
on
the
voynich
manuscript !
you
researched
it's
history?
obviously
i
i
have
not
been
repetitive
enough !
being
very
repetitive
on
the
voynich
manuscript !
you
researched
it's
history?
obviously
i
i
have
not
been
repetitive
enough !
don't
agree
it's
a
fraud !
you're
a
fraud ! ”
wonder
if
any
work
of
art
is
really
just
decompression
tho
a
great
work
is
more
than
that !
what
was
the
voynich
manuscript
in
that
case
compression? ?
teresa
i
think
she
had
health
issues
at
a
genetic
level,
never
wanted
to
breed
her
father
had
gastric
issues
was
developmentally
disordered, autistic
even !
that
all
anti--depressants
aren't
fake
let
it
grind
you
like
hell
and
spit
you
out !
that
all
anti--depressants
aren't
fake
let
it
grind
you
like
hell
and
spit
you
out !
every eight years our chance of dying doubles
the outlook is not good : o )
i like this comment on that post
“ the reason it follows exponential decay only after age 30 because depletion of stem cell in the body.
stem cells create stem cells, before age 29
stem cells create progenitor cells age 29~42
progenitor cells create differentiated cells age 42-60
differentiated cells divide (3 more cycles) 60~85 ”
is corruption of DNA the underlying issue?
“ out of the cell types in blood only white blood cells contain DNA. The researchers believe that the increased number of cells with DNA alterations among elderly can have a role in the senescence of the immune system. If the genetic alterations lead to an increased growth of the cells that have acquired them, these cells will increase in number in relation to other white blood cells. The consequence might be a reduced diversity among the white blood cells and thereby an impaired immune system. ”
i would favour the solipist viewpoint which says each individual contains all
i would favour the solipist model which says we contain all
long john, interesting chain gang song
explanation , though the lyrics don't seem to match up
lost john lyrics by brownie mcghee
think
it's
fundamental
there's
no
purpose
in
explaining
infinity
to
others
is
however
joy
conveying
it
it
is
think
it's
fundamental
there's
no
purpose
in
explaining
infinity
to
others
is
however
joy
conveying
it
is
machu
extraordinarily
extravagant
of
human
labour !
machu
extraordinarily
extravagant
of
human
labour
the answer would have to be a resounding yes !
they change gene expression in a very profound way
so there is a developmentally differentiated brain substrate the function of which is also profoundly altered by the sex hormones
it's easy to see from these you tubes of carapeto's film buddhist life (and he wasn't wrong !) that nishijima is afake ! god those idiots on that blog lapping it up, makes one sick and what sort of mental retard is brad warner?
but they are all fakes, that's what being a teacher is, why would you do it otherwise except you are blind to what it is about?
beyond their brains being crippled with drugs, poor nutrition and sex i think that zazen is like hare krishna chanting, keeps 'em crippled and subservient and violently opposed to any light entering their lives
attracts the foolish i guess ? !
fool
me
for
taking
yous
seriously
and
arguing !
fundamental
thesis
is
that
human
life
a
s
lived
by
most
is
insane
that's
not
pretend
insane
but
really
insane !
like
anything
matters ?
my
fundamental
thesis
is
that
human
life
a
s
lived
by
most
is
insane
that's
not
pretend
insane
but
really
insane !
trying to think abit more straight and being slightly more truthful would be a start for them !
people often take the notion of being truthful as being personally truthful, but if you believe that jesus and buddha existed historically then since they didn't you are not and still take on that heft of deceit even though you may honestly believe such things
endless
distancing
and
return
of
the
male !
world
syndrome !
mad? ”
are
you
asking
a
question?
people realising you can be far more frank on the web than real life !!!!
: o )
transgression !
“ snowleopard on February 2, 2012 wrote:
“Ahh, I see his post was removed” ~ Iam You
Alas, apparently not the suffering and torment. As painful as it is to watch, it perhaps speaks to the point about how someone can come to a site like this, which abounds in and expounds various teachings, practices, ideas and well-intentioned advice about how to relieve suffering, or at least find some equanimity, or peace of mind, and yet it is apparently lost on those who see only the reflection of some inner conflict and angst. Yet another example of how often it seems that one must be brought to the knees in utter surrender, self-doubt, despair and exhaustion, before any insight can begin to fill the void. At which point, the rest just naturally falls into place.
Peace to Andrew ”
brought to one's knees in self cock sucking more like you mangy turd !
some-one with some sense called or calling themselves helen posted some sense on the swami premodaya thread
is
a
limitation
in
talk
which
is
why
need
to
read
and
write !
| talk no creative work reading | no creative work and reading | moron batgap religious twit |
i will point out and it's the same problem with hardcore zen, at some point they censor because they can't handle what infinity obviously can
in short they are COMPLETE FUCKING FRAUDS
none dared post here yet have they? (ed. 7th zen patriarch blog )
“the praying mantis feasting on her mate,
should one ever dare to aver
any one could be without the other.”
well you have effectively excluded comments on your blog because my reply there last time showed you up !
one without the other?
just show a small ray of sanity and say you see what i am writing about ? too hard for you ?
you CANNOT understand if what you do impedes it !
if there's any practice it's being open to what we don't want to hear even if to do so destabilizes our lives !
of course most of my life has been celibate so i have had much more freedom, but i still think there is room for you married types to move
buddha was married and then became celibate, also that's what the sundarananda by asvaghosa is about, i'm not suggesting it but one does have to take cognizance of the limitation of relationship and kids binding one into a real concern and need for the future
all the same, new roads open and there has to be better ones than masturbating on message boards/blogs (ed. buddha at the gas pump) like this !
i also am abit crazy so i can relate to him and you
in craziness is the birth of infinity, why deny it to yourself which by endlessly permuting through this teaching crap you are !
anaperv writes (ed. batgap)
“ awakening is all about more & more awareness ”
yeah which in your case seems to be campaigning for the exclusion of those who show you and the whole sham arrangement up as a fake !
what a bloody hypocrite you guru arse-licker !
wankers covering each other with sperm, the lot of you, including the teachers !
well vaginal excretions for the women !
| audiophile varying process | monk anything | buddhism finished |
| boarding school unreal perception | waiting for them |
having dropped out of university myself i am not optimistic about what it might offer you, basically it's den of mediocracy and stupidity, but i guess you will find that out !
probably what you are really interested in is writing, like i am writing full time now, but write for myself and put it up on the web, there's no money in it tho and with the web now it's just not really possible to make decent money writing so it's better just to write what one wants to write and address income as a separate problem !
it's important to keep the brain working well, like some fish oil really helps !
my reading list
don't forget those auckland west coast beaches, karekare and whatipu, time spent there keeps one sane !
good luck on finding mainstream, it's littered with the bodies of people like us, who don't fit, the mob has a nose for their murder !
charles bukowski
if the university doesn't want you then what i have learnt is where you are rejected is you don't fit and they are only doing you a favour
what are your abilities or what can you do well easily and with that earn money?
art, finance, advertising? computing?
it's a very difficult problem having an artistic temperament and earning money !
well it happens to all of us at times in our lives
something real that we let go or moves out of our lives
well specifically the batgap
but abstract
well i was the real thing which is why i got chucked
fakes need a non-contradictory enviroment which is why they are fakes !
very
interesting
how
little
influence
we
have
on
each
other
and
how
long
it
takes
small
insights
to
seep
and
work
through
to
small
changes !
| female male bound | woman orgasm chasing | an assessment of karen richards and lisa cairns |
| advaita flakes | flakes pretending to think |
whole
lot
of
memory
and
experiences
memory
and
experience
where
does
it
lead?
you're
wasting
your
time !
lot
of
memory
and
experiences ”
is
memory
and
experience
where
does
it
lead?
you're
wasting
your
time !