this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items

that don't warrant a page by themselves

or seem to fit better here

pending poems index

chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page

audio files are best listened to with the eyes closed !

the layout is done with the internet explorer text size setting at largest and with a zoom of 125%, and my text rendering is done for these settings though they should be somewhat tolerant of a zoom setting or two up or down

lol, a completely new fear in human history, i am scared to uv the shitake mushrooms for dinner, it can be too effective making so much vitamin D2
it knocks me out the next day !

just trying one second a side per mushroom this time !

UNFURL by jake murray

constant

and constant

the struggle

to unfurl

the wings

that fly

constant

and constant

each time you see

dignity stripped

hope crushed

ugliness triumphant

when the act of violence

replaces the act

of love

when each moment

leaves you crying

in the night

the dark

and there seems

no comfort

no beauty

on the Earth

remember

the wings

yeah jake murray did remove his facebook page and the above poem on it,
but i had a copy (thanx acetext : o)

i am surprised he has that sort of sensitivity

to what was an absolutely awful poem : o)

usually

if they write something

that bad

they

are

completely obtuse

as to it's

defects

: o)

my reply /correction

two eyes can fly across to the other side of the canyon,

when you see it you are there :o)

when your dignity is stripped,

your hope crushed,

your ugliness seen,

you deal with the violence,

your love crushed like a beetle.................

the wings unfurl :o) ..............

women are bitches and men are rats

audio

women are bitches and men are rats?

the import of quantum loop gravity

and quantum loop cosmology

is that space is discrete/atomic

and has a minimum size of a planck length,

this means that density

cannot be infinite in the big bang - big bounce event,

that is ,

it is not a true singularity

and therefore

you can decouple

the mystical

from physical interpretations

of the universe,

which is abit of a relief : o )

and validates

the great sages and mystics

of the past

like heraclitus, st. john of the cross, teresa of avila, sappho, sa'di etc,

who had very different constructs

of the physical world and universe

the import of quantum loop gravity and quantum loop cosmology is that space is discrete/atomic and has a minimum size of a planck length, this means that density cannot be infinite in the big bang - big bounce event, that is , it is not a true singularity and therefore you can decouple the mystical from physical interpretations of the universe, which is abit of a relief : o ) and validates the great sages and mystics of the past like heraclitus, st. john of the cross, teresa of avila, sappho, sa'di etc, who had very different constructs of the physical world and universe

i think the net

is like this huge illusion

of people you know

and who matter to you,

but if course they don't !

i think the net is like this huge illusion of people you know and who matter to you, but if course they don't !

i think the net

is like this huge illusion

of people you know

and matter to you,

but of course they're not !

i think the net is like this huge illusion of people you know and matter to you, but of course they're not !

the real law of attraction,

opposites

attract

repels

(

)

well you know the “law of attraction” is abit of voynich bullshit that says you get what you think about or expect, sort of a “ like attracts like”

well i thought of electric charges and magnetism where opposites attract and that seemed true

i'm saying basically opposites attract, male, female, different personalities

i am fuzzy, you are definite, that sort of thing

jeff foster and i are a bit similar, so it flies apart

you (ed. eileen) and i are are a workable mix of similar and dissimilar

workable if we make it work

in reality there is no natural fit in life that doesn't need that sort of work for us

i guess everyone is seeking that natural fit, or the illusion thereof .............

always the answer is seen in a couple of words

)

the answer is not in a couple of words

(

audio

good temple grandin talk

lol, no interviewer, the bbc is still in denial about autism : o)

how much of this song is actually dylan's own

that master plagiarist ?

how much of this song is actually dylan's own, that master plagiarist?

some dribble by eckart tolle

life is the dancer and you are the dance

my reply

life is strife and you are askance : o)

how adequate is truth?

seeking truth,

one may aligned

with an insufficiency?

how adequate is truth? seeking truth, one may aligned with an insufficiency?

a quote from the very autistic meher baba

god has been everlastingly working in silence, unobserved, unheard, except by those who experience his infinite silence

i've just done a retranslation

god works in the recursive correction of solitude, ignored, forsaken, laughed at except by those who through pain and inadequacy accept his brilliant and suffusive gifts : o)

ok laurence, meher barber is not so bad, he was autistic and liked silence : o),
but you and i are miles apart!

if baber is talking so much about silence i feel you are taking the part of his advice that suits you and discarding what doesn't.

meditation is a form of insanity and listening to music is writing over your own thoughts with those of others, people on these boards endlessly flick around what is not their own work like they have some sort of claim to the insight or talent when in reality they are just consumers !

i like music, like this piece has something ; o )

you may not be comfortable with the christian vocabulary but it's inspired !

the point is the beautiful garden so to speak, it will tell you what you need to know, you have to work towards it, but it's the sense of that which guides and not some ideas about releasing or removing from our “karmic selves” !

in my experience people make work in the wrong area like trying to improve themselves while allowing not well thought out concepts to take over, the wreck that is non-duality/neo advaita is a good example.

healing is not in terms of us as people but the unity of our experience with infinity and the bottom line is getting sufficient solitude,
preferably in natural surroundings !

like i think jeff foster is sorta getting ruined by a lack of it .....................

without that experential solitude you will get tangled up in meanings and think they are important, whereas with that experential background, the words just flow and you are not in control and not fixed in senseless
and meaningless human paradigms!

it is simply that injury is opening,

the wall of the house knocked down

so you can see and move

into the clear air

and beautiful garden...

so there is no repair ,

it simply builds the wall again

and the view is lost

and things remain closed.

the karmic wheel invites repair

which is why

it is more of the error

and simply a rebuilt wall

and wrong

it is simply that injury is opening, the wall of the house knocked down so you can see and move into the clear air and beautiful garden... so there is no repair , it simply builds the wall again and the view is lost and things remain closed. the karmic wheel invites repair which is why it is more of the error and simply a rebuilt wall and wrong

basically , you, the individual are the entire universe

and so the karmic wheel is you !

it doesn't have to be there,

it's an imaginary construct

entirely without merit !

basically , you, the individual are the entire universe and so the karmic wheel is you ! it doesn't have to be there, it's an imaginary construct entirely without merit !

koan study is just a damn fool idioacy

)

a lot of aboriginal art was in fact geographical maps tied in with the dreaming mythology

they were literal maps of areas which was how they got around the vast desert spaces

obviously you have to live that to understand it

that's being lost at the moment as the older generation die out

well, i think with great artists something special always comes through

an interesting study on methylation

folapro and dmg and tmg would help with age-related macular degeneration i think, as they are methylators !

just about everybody who reaches 100 is pretty well blind

basically the compendium covers almost all the bases, i certainly feel my eyesight has improved considerably in recent years !

you (ed. eileen) can pick the guys in this (ed. zen) game as stupids

( “you” as in you can pick these people whereas i am slow to)

brad warner would be one of the better teachers

if they are below a certain standard i usually don't bother to criticize

i don't mean good or an adequate understanding of the subject,
but above a certain level of incompetence

complete fuckwits are not very interesting

a poem by a hello poet

over the edge

the magic mushrooms that you take,

have you trapped with no escape,

your in your own prison in your head,

its time you wake up and forget that place,

life is happening and its passing you by,

i barely know you and i want to cry,

to see a nice person to this degree,

makes me sad and makes me think,

i wish there was something i could do,

like slap and shake you until you come to,

back to reality right here on earth,

is it so bad that you have to escape to your own little world?

without anyway of returning to those who care,

its breaking my heart to see you can't see,

you are lost to so many degrees,

i just hope you can be who you truly are,

and these mushrooms havent pushed you to far!

i met this wonderful guy, very kind and has a beautiful heart. losing his house that is so beautiful that he built himself. of course i'm going to try to help him. if he will let me. yeah i have my own demons but they don't consume my life

one can get very burnt helping people! often with drug and alcohol use there is brain damage to the extent they are no longer the person they were before and there's just no return : o (

psilocybin reduces blood flow and neural activity in the “default mode” brain regions, likely there is some permanent imprint !

when i read this study, psilocybin has a strong self-medication aspect, you can't really fight that, like alot of people do pot for sleep, possibly he's best just to minimise use, the real road out which is diet and supplements as per my compendium is just too alien and hard for people in a drug and easy fix oriented world

magic musrooms pretty well address or self medicate for autistic spectrum and schizophrenia, it's not the hallucinatory aspect so much that is of interest imo

the safety trials for vaccines are of very poor quality and there is a huge need for more funding for vaccine design, basically governments have to step in to the billions of dollars needed, there's no way private companies can cover 100th of the cost !

but of course this need is ignored and there is no funding even for testing of children to see if their immune response to a vaccine places the child at risk for damage !

i have seen children damaged by vaccines and even adults damaged by travel vaccines !

mother teresa is the new paradigm and the catholic church is failing to pick up what she is really telling them

if they made her a saint which they won't and listened to what she was saying, which was about the ambiguity of belief and disbelief they would be way ahead, but they are not, and the church is decaying/in decay !

audio

sahran keelkego

( phonetic spelling for the danish which sounds way different
from the conventional spelling søren kierkegaard )

“ a strange thing happened to me in my dream.

i was rapt into the seventh heaven.

there sat all the gods assembled.

as a special dispensation i was granted the favor to have one wish.

"do you wish for youth," said mercury, "or for beauty, or power, or a long life; or do you wish for the most beautiful woman, or any other of the many fine things we have in our treasure trove? choose, but only one thing!"

for a moment i was at a loss. then i addressed the gods in this wise:

"most honorable contemporaries, i choose one thing —

that i may always have the laughs on my side."

not one god made answer, but all began to laugh.

from this i concluded that my wish had been granted

and thought that the gods knew how to express themselves with good taste:

for it would surely have been inappropriate to answer gravely:

your wish has been granted

my comment/reply

i think my wish would be to cease to be with memory, the gods would still be puzzling how to grant that one

)

pro non-duality pages on facebook

one welter of

glad

handling

(

words

are

empty

without

actions

(

words

are

empty

without

actions

(

more saccharine bullshit by jeff foster

if we run away from our sadness,

if we turn our backs on anger,

if we deny fear its inherent right to be here,

if we kick our pain out onto the cold, dark streets,

how will we ever know

that these weren't precious gifts made of gold,

forged in the fires of ourselves long ago?

my setting right reply

sadness, anger fear, pain, labels

label

precious or not, who

would

know?

ourselves/oneself

was

forged

long

ago !

honestly jeff, you say that sort of thing, yet ban what shows you up !

the wexford carol, lucy o'bryne, so well sung

it makes you cry,

pity about the distortion tho!

zen is like any religion, it's only peripherally about what it's really about and over the hundreds of years only a few have any real understanding, like in christianity, teresa of avila, john of the cross and catherine of siena really stand out but people like st augustine and mother teresa fall short!

in the end it's nothing but god or infinity or buddha and the direct experience of that and knowing that as the reality and life a pale dream of the ultimate flame and then dealing with the echoes and shadows and phantoms in and of life!

lol, mark wasn't being coy, that's just him ! see mark is married and has kids and business interests, that's where their life really is, only strange anti-social people like me with no dependents can really give the time necessary to sorting out what it is about

the only teachers i met that had a good understanding were toni packer and george bowman, tho i didn't really resonate with george .........!

zen now has lost what little bearing it ever had and has been supplanted in the public eye by advaita/neo-advaita/non duality and like a loose dull grey corpse they just both flop around, their limbs moved about by the current and that's about all !

autism is like the deconstructed condition of reality

and if you are on autistic spectrum

you can build a more accurate understanding

of how the world works

since you are not blinded

with the neuro-biological blinkers

that more normal people have

if you are autistic

or well on autistic spectrum,

basically you are not normal,

but it's not less,

it's more !

autism is like the deconstructed condition of reality and if you are on autistic spectrum you can build a more accurate understanding of how the world works since you are not blinded with the neuro-biological blinkers that more normal people have

if you are autistic or well on autistic spectrum, basically you are not normal, but it's not less, it's more !

she's a spaced out zombie and shinzen is mentally retarded!

sasaki was a fraud, you went off the rails shinzen, and just spew your screwed shit everywhere !

Amunda Gorey - Irrernte Arenye

Amunda Gorey - Mother and Child

Amunda Gorey - Kwatye

welcome to jeffstown where the kool-aid is all the bullshit they feed each other

i honestly

think

they

are

mental !

)

(

welcome to jeffstown where the kool-aid is all the bullshit they feed each other

i honestly

think

they

are

mental !

)

(

early judeo - christianity did evolve into a different belief system, islam !

the koran comes from the usual pile of early texts extremely modifyed by the writing style (saving paper?) being without vowel markings or distinguishing dots that enables up to 30 different meanings for individual words, so you can literally build anything you like out of them

same picture jesus, buddha and muhammad are stories, really weird to see them taken so seriously

“christoph luxenberg” claims more specific meanings for the syro-aramaic

there is a reasonable possibility that confucius existed historically because mencius who was born a bit more than 100 years later “records the tradition about confucius in some detail and in a very early form, which is in general quite similar to that found in the early portions of the analects” and his birth place was only 30km south of that of confucius and from a story about mencius's upbringing there was a tradition of respect for scholarship/philosophy in the area.

of course most of what is claimed to have been written by confucius is not in fact and actually mencius is more interesting !

visual truth, truth is visual !

audio

visual

truth

visual !

truth is visual

readings one two

violet petyarre

mountain devil lizard dreaming 2007 (rockhampton art gallery)

looking for web image !

margaret olley

it's easy to make vitamin D2 in mushrooms

dave st. germain fronted up an identity : o )

my reply/comment

cutting down bullshit gets me everywhere ! ok, it's huge help to see a bit about a person, so one is not shooting in the dark so much !

i stayed several months at the cambridge zen center and really liked boston !

you have a typical autistic spectrum career, documentary photographer, very visual and that's the true paradigm not the usual zen bullshit you project some fake understanding on !

let me say it again, the 6th patriarch and all the zen greats were autistic/autistic spectrum and seeing that in oneself is where it starts !

i liked your portraits, they're good !

jeff

foster

the

kool-aid

guru

got

too

the

flame

wasn't

a beautiful butterfly he

turned

into

but

burnt

wingless

moth

grub

)

(

at the jonestown mass suicide years ago in guyana they used kool-aid laced with cyanide and barbituates

it's sorta like they (jeff, his followers and the whole advaita/neo-advaita/non-duality bandwagon) sedate themselves and take poison !

but really what they do is a form of suicide

jeff

foster

the

kool-aid

guru

got

too

the

flame

wasn't

a beautiful butterfly he

turned

into

but

burnt

wingless

moth

grub

)

(

the

kool-

aid

advaita

neo

advaita

and

non-duality

(

)

the

kool-

aid

advaita

neo

advaita

and

non-duality

)

alan tebbe, you are volunteering your life

into something not very well/worthwhile

from alife sense

but

you

have

always

done

that !

pavlova recipe

sometimes i wonder what is in these things, the fruit needs pasturizing and the cornflour and sugar replaced or left out to be bcd

maybe abit of pasturized fruit blended in for sugar and gelatin for stiffness? maybe

that's a good straightforward video

interestingly cornflour can be wheaten and not from maize at all, i think from a cooking point of view what is sought is a tasteless thickener, from a nutritional point of view of course it is still wheat with its usual problems !

cheesecake is more problematic, don't know what you do for the base, but i think the same replacement principles as for the pavlova apply !

caramelising (propane torch lol) is not agood idea
because of the formation of A.G.Es !

the imagined process of teaching

is absolutely destroying of the teacher !

it's not flawed from the start,

it's broken so far back in the process

of even starting to think about it

that a huge blindness

is required to imagine

it could ever be any other way !

the imagined process of teaching is absolutely destroying of the teacher !

it's not flawed from the start, it's broken so far back in the process of even starting to think about it that a huge blindness is required to imagine it could ever be any other way !

schizophrenia

version one

version two

just because they look well and healthy doesn't mean they're not schizophrenic !

audio

just because they look well and healthy doesn't mean they're not schizophrenic !

)

audio

my comment to dave st. germain who failed to come up with any sort of web references like a facebook page when asked for one
on my 7th zen patriarch blog !

another zen mouse, these so called warriors, so afraid to have any sort of public persona that can induct some sort of consistency
between what they say and what they do !

an interesting bab ballad !

deprogramming myself of zen

is one of the hardest things

i have ever done,

if it's ever done

(

)

deprogramming myself of zen

is one of the hardest things

i have ever done,

if it's ever done

deprogramming myself of zen is one of the hardest things i have ever done,

if it's ever done

young autistic and autistic spectrum women

have an emerging conumdrum

which is a very old and brutal paradigm,

thank god i am not female and am childless !

young autistic and autistic spectrum women

have an emerging conumdrum

which is a very old and brutal paradigm,

thank god i am not female and am childless !

young autistic and autistic spectrum women have an emerging conumdrum which is a very old and brutal paradigm, thank god i am not female and am childless !

new or newish couples

who get a puppy

will move onto babies

at some point : o ( )

new or newish couples who get a puppy will move onto babies at some point : o ( )

jeff foster has just posted about how he “used” to have insomnia

and now he doesn't

thanks to “deep acceptance ”

what a crap artist, he's obviously on an ssri !

no wonder he dissed my sleep page !

jeff foster has just posted about how he “used” to have insomnia and now he doesn't thanks to “deep acceptance ”, what a crap artist, he's obviously on an ssri ! no wonder he dissed my sleep page !

i am a retarded genius, i don't ever fit never !

reading one

reading two

i am a retarded genius, i don't fit any categories never !

reading one

reading two

this is an excellent study

yeah facebook certainly makes for psychosis

jeff foster's page is really off the charts,

but i think the root cause is he is taking alot of retreats

and it's too much viral exposure for him!

he's the one who has gone pyschotic

and is just attracting like on his facebook page !

i really think that facebook is really selective for some extreme bozos,

it's just surprising that there are so many of them

and what seems like a limitless supply !

it's filling in a new theory of mind for me

and taking quite a while to sort out : o )

flake book : o )

that's right

that's

right

that's

right !

reading one

reading two

reading three

as you

get

older

you

are

still

attracted

young

people

the

opposite

sex

it's

just

it's

not

reciprocated

and

you

are

too

feeble

anyway

)

(

that's right

that's

right

that's

right !

reading one

reading two

reading three

as you

get

older

you

are

still

attracted

young

people

the

opposite

sex

it's

just

it's

not

reciprocated

and

you

are

too

feeble

anyway

)

(

as you

get

older

you

are

still

attracted

young

people

the

opposite

sex

it's

just

it's

not

reciprocated

and

you

are

too

feeble

anyway

“ some things aren’t mine to know and never will be ”

that's brad warner defending the right of joshu sasaki to grope

and have affairs with female students

and presumably a justification

for his own promiscious behavior !

it's interesting to see a conceptual mistake,

this not wanting to know

which has unfortunately severely limited him

to give what he is today,

intelligent yet hamstrung

by a very limited knowledge of the world

and crippling artistic mediocracy : o )

zen is like catholicism, so fucked in the head that opportunities for sexual misconduct are the only way anyone with at least a small amount of talent and understanding would be involved

chris crocker, 262 million hits on you tube (all videos, 20th november 2012)

how to take good smiling pictures !

voynich is something that doesn't make sense

unless you look at the way it is constructed !

it is not constructed to convey sense

but the appearance of sense !

so unless

you

look

the

way

constructed/

put

together

you

will

meander in meaningless

ways

forever

which

basically

what

religion

any

sort

spiritual

inquiry is !

what i have noticed with these people (ed. neo-advaita/non duality)

is they are very free with the word death,

but they are absolutely bloody mice

in life

)

(

the problem with being autistic

is every time you enter something new

you have to develop a new theory of mind for it

to survive

and not get taken to the cleaners

one

way

another

yet if you don't enter something new

you or your experience is too short changed

and you remain vulnerable

and short in a life sense : o ( )

)

(

eileen you are an old soul

really

old

)

(

reading one

reading two

jeff foster spinning the crap on his facebook page

“ a no, spoken in clarity and truth, without hate, without violence, without attachment to any outcome, without trying to hold up any image of yourself, is really a great big YES to life. A few days ago I had to ban someone from my Facebook page, someone who had been going around abusing other members for months, calling them mentally ill and so on, and who ignored all of my fair warnings and offers of help. This is a great example of a no coming from a deeper YES. ”

)

honestly what a load of self serving specious crap!

i called you and those endless fakes and retards on your page on it and lacking any real understanding or strength you just did what you could which was ban me !