this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items
that don't warrant a page by themselves
or seem to fit better here
pending poems index
chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page
audio files are best listened to with the eyes closed !
the layout is done with the internet explorer text size setting at largest and with a zoom of 125%, and my text rendering is done for these settings though they should be somewhat tolerant
of a zoom setting or two up or down
really like this
music : o)
ed. from 26 seconds on
i'm gonna try a 40mm fan on the northbridge of my next computer
build,
― it really pays to keep the north and southbridges cool!
replies to a woman
defending her time spent with sasaki
yvonne, you really don't understand ! there is a common human problem is we can throw away 30, 50 years of our lives on something completely/totally futile, if you really understood, it wouldn't be such a big deal to see that..................
yvonne, you are not the real thing , how's that
for a definition ! wasting your time and life, so many like you............ so screwed in the head that you go with the fake and reject the real :o)
yvonne, you are not the “real thing”, how's that for a definition ! wasting your time and life, so many like you............ so screwed in the head that you go with the fake and reject the real :o)
interesting
study and pretty well says it about aging : o)
“ telomere length of a specific type of white blood cell — a CD8 CD28 T cytolytic cell — was a superior predictor of infection and cold symptoms than other white blood cell types. The telomeres found in CD8 CD28 cells shorten more quickly than those found in other cell types, and previous research has found shorter telomere length in these cells to be associated with decreases in markers of immune competence ”
lol tasmanians must have short telomeres !
the net in general is a toxic stew/spew of misinfomation!
the only way you can deal with it is the integrity of your own writings
the net in general is a toxic stew/spew of misinformation!
the only way you can deal with it is your own writing and truth !
the net in general is a toxic stew/spew of misinformation!
the only way you can deal with it is your own writing and truth
audio
there’s so much nonsense around, the only way you can deal with it is the integrity of your own writings !
there’s so much nonsense around, the only way you can deal with it is the integrity of your own writings
audio
who are you and who am i, and who is the moon riding up the sky ?
v3
who are you and who am i, and who is the moon riding up the sky
v2
who are you and who am i
and
who
is
the
moon
riding
up
the
sky ?
v1
who are you and who am i
and
who
is
the
moon
riding
up
the
evan shaw writes
proteus shifts forms, teasing ya to fin'
lotus petal melted into a ring
strive from tha center of things
words etched on evan's sword-blade
my reply
forms shift, catabolizing proteus..... the lotus eats ...........
hilary mantel is quite
interesting, very autistic, has endometriosis and is childless, getting stuck into the dutchess of cambridge for having plastic smile which of course is a survival mechanism in autism !
it takes one to know one and actually she was offering helpful advice to the dutchess !
“ i sense there's
something in the wind, that seems like there's tragedy at hand... ”
i think it's happened, she's been
wrecked, loss of hormones !!!!
what is the moment ? everything is the moment
always
before
and
always
after
:
o
)
(
what is the moment ? everything is the moment, always before and always after :o)
what is the moment ? everything is the moment
always
before
and
always
after
what is the present? a metastable space between past and future, a transition !
what is the present? a metastable space between past and future, a transition
“ in goethe's the metamorphosis of plants he posits that plants are influenced by driving archetypes; nothing else can account for why different parts of the plant are so similar in structure ”
so that's an early observation about fractals and self-similarity, he was a clever cookie, johann !
the
black
of
the
crows
busted
his
head
spilled
out
his
guts
and
he
is
the
black
of
the
crows
busted
his
head
spilled
out
his
guts
and
he
is
andrew's got the original charisma
but
no-one
wants
to
know
:
o
(
andrew's got the original charisma
but
no-one
wants
to
know
:
o
(
andrew's got the original charisma
but
no-one
wants
to
know
:
o
)
andrew's got the original charisma
but
no-one
wants
to
know
i think it's
saying that being depressed also means one has low immune function
i think a definition of hyperlexic
is binging for days on a new 27 inch monitor : 0 )
i think a definition of hyperlexic is binging for days on a new 27 inch monitor
:
o
)
i think a definition of hyperlexic is binging for days on a new 27 inch monitor : o)
what good is reading and writing without the ability to discern and think?
any educational system only teaches conformity of thought and that's all that will be digitized :o)
ed. my reply on bill gates's facebook page to a funding proposal for educational literacy software -
unbelievably the above comment was removed : o) !
it's interesting how you can sleuth something with a bit of research !
oscar pistorius is claiming the killing of his girlfriend reeva steenkamp was an accidental his mistaking her for a burglar !
however a little research shows that the bilateral fibular hemimelia is in fact a genetic
condition and i would guess his girlfriend was baulking at the prospect of no children and a break-up was inevitable !
he must have had trouble accepting being less than perfect and while well equipped for life in some areas, other more subtle aspects have always escaped him : o(
she was 29 to his 26 and must have been feeling the clock ticking !
i think he was also gender blurred having quite a strong female streak with a certain rather lethal vindictiveness and jealousy which coupled with with a male directness of action and physical ability to handle guns has led to very unfortunate consequences : o(
gender blurring pretty well explains everything that happens in life : o)
eileen pointed out that he shot through the closed bathroom door so as not to see her face as he killed her !!!!!
the whole thing is so stupid and done with a complete loss of vision as to the consequences and what might be achieved and lost that one has to wonder about his taking testosterone or some other drug/factor
look around, keep looking around
and
then
look
around
some
more :o)
look around, keep looking around
and
then
look
around
some
more
a new challenge every day
you keep away and delay
when i act to close the gap
fate says
happiness is like a disease
and peace is a fiction !
happiness is like a disease
and peace is a fiction : o)
happiness is like a disease and peace is a fiction
well one can follow the second rate.............. it's only your own consequence !
now emily dickinson and charles bukowski are first rate but i suspect you have read neither :o)
adam tebbe the real test is to be able to dialogue what we disagree with, when you censor comments you are “ living in a ghost cave! ”,
comprende?
no, so you will continue to work for less than peanuts promoting the world's biggest bores and bilge artists, crazier than brad warner who at least gets some sex :o) !
ed. he
deleted the above comment !
recursive
rubbish , nisargadatta is just another manic nut !
nicotinamide (niacin?/b3)
slows the progression of breast cancer !
evolution doesn't give a
fig about pain and death, it only cares about successfully breeding progeny : o)
evolution doesn't give a fig about pain and death, it only cares about successful progeny : o)
control is an illusion, but i agree with the point of following inclinations where there is good natural ability, however working on our weak areas is just as important : o)
i think the reason khalil gibran's writings appear so vacant and empty is that he was not a native english speaker and really can't touch the nuances that native speakers are capable of !
of course his life was crazy and blighted, if there is a family tendency to TB you do not move from lebanon to new york when you are 12 in those times when it was so rife!
the oddness of work compared to family, we meet and work together for a while, and then things change and it all disappears and there are no lasting relationships !
the oddness of work compared to family, you meet and work together for a while, and then things change and it all disappears and there are no lasting relationships
you would have to be grossly delusional to believe any such story or persons such as jesus or buddha could exist !
riven by internal contradictions, hallucinatory madness and bullshit so thick you could compost it : o)
you would have to be grossly delusional to believe any such story or persons such as jesus or buddha could exist !
riven by internal contradictions, hallucinatory madness, bullshit so thick you could compost it.............................
you'd have to be grossly delusional to think any such story or persons as jesus or buddha could ever exist : o)
you would have to be grossly delusional to believe any such story or persons such as jesus or buddha could exist !
if you're going to be involved you may
as
it
right
:
o
)
(
what
else
can
i
eileen writes
star babies we are
cast down
my reply
yup
too bad about the spikes ;o)
eileen replies
yeah
we look up and dream despite those
that's not
emptiness , trungpa is a fraud ! too linear/stacked horizontal
well the suckers stream
on
promoting
this
bullshit
well there is
some redemption in that drawing/character :o)
i suppose as the 7th zen patriarch i should put the occasional thing up
to illuminate you idiots ! : 0 )
now minkfoot (yes an anonymous coward --- you will see later that this is instrumental to his vision !) posted a visionary/mystical experience of his on the hardcore zen blog and thinking about it for a while, it's genuine, but shows where he stopped and why !
i think he's reasonably old, (60 aka weasel tracks) hard to say really, being on autistic spectrum results in one being a wide span of ages :o), possibly even born in russia or the ukraine or the first generation of russian/ukrainian/belarusian parents who have immigrated to the u.s.a.
the russian orthodox church is quite vision friendly unlike this wasted corpse known as meiji and post meiji zen : o)
so something happened and he can accept it, but japanese war criminal zen is so screwed and frightened of authenticity that it forces its adherents to reject these experiences rather than think on them for the twenty or thirty years it takes to make sense of them :o)
ok, so here's his post !
----------------------
i do have something to offer on the topic of jesus experiences.
first, a native american medicine man told a story about one of his teachers. the elder had a vision of jesus the night before, and told my friend about it. since my friend knew the elder had been catholic in his youth, he said, “i suppose you’ll be going back to being a christian again, then.”
“why would i do that? when the spirit comes to us, it comes in the forms we know. jesus is a form i know, but my grandfather might have seen a bear, or an eagle, or a snake.”
as for myself, my family background is russian orthodox. my first exposure to a priest and not very appealing — he was one of those village tyrants common in belarus, ukraine, and russia, and not what even a child would recognize as spiritual. very early on, i embraced catholicism, which gave a lot of philosophical meat to chew on. i was especially drawn to the promise of direct sacred experience offered by the mystics. in time, the certainty catholicism promised faded and i left mainstream christianity by the time i was seventeen, but not with the animosity of many others of my age. by twenty, i felt i had discovered my true spiritual home in zen. i began to see that every religion worth a damn had something in its core that i could recognize through the lens of buddhism.
after returning to my home state when i was thirty, my parents asked me to drive them to church, as their parish was deep in the city and public transportation not so easy. the new priest was an american. in his sermons, he presented orthodox spirituality in a way i could appreciate, as a practice and mythic experience.
attending the long orthodox mass was conducive to my own personal practice. the senses were all engaged: lots of lit candles, beautiful art, shimmering vestments, theatrical gesturres, music by bell and voice of an unearthly beauty, the scent of incense and beeswax everywhere, the feel of gravity in the prostrations and the motion of the arms in the sign of the cross — though out of respect for the religion i never, as a formal unbeliever, took the taste of the wine in the eucharist. so easy to be mindful in the richness of this potent symbolism!
i developed a mantra practice along with the mindfulness. it felt a bit odd and inappropriate to do the kanzeon sutra in a christian house, so i decided to do the trisagion in old slavonic:
сьвяты божа, cьвяты mоцны, cьвяты hесьмяротны, памілуй нас
(belarusian cyrillic orthography)
śviaty boža, śviaty mocny, śviaty nieśmiarotny, pamiłuj nas
(ed. my insertion, latin orthography, giving some indication of the sound !)
it sounds just like it looks.
sometime in the nineties, i attended a holy thursday service called the twelve gospels, a series of readings that lasted two or three hours. my zen practice was rather intense at this period, so i was pretty sharp and attentive. as this was just before easter, spiritual emotions were high. at a certain point in the liturgy, something began to happen. it was not a vision but i sensed a figure in the room off the sanctuary where the priests and acolytes donned their vestments. i did not see it, but it had a human form, filled with black void, in which points of light scintillated — much like the entity eternity in dr. strange, but without a face. the most remarkable thing, though, was its *benevolence*! it was of a scale comparable to intergalactic gulfs. it scared me!
this was, of course, jesus. sure surprised the hell out of me. what should i make of the experience? i don’t have to.
---------------------------
the main points are, he did not see it, but rather knew it, he says it was not a vision, but i think it sorta was, he just didn't see it fully, too bounded by his shitarse self inflated full of self knowing and importance coupled with a “fatal to the spiritual search” timidity to losing his life :o)
also it wasn't jesus !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
or maybe it was, that sort of half arsed voynichy syntheses that the human race so excells in ! :o)
maybe it wasn't, maybe it was ..................... : o)
conceptually he's screwed up, just no real ground work of understanding, just able to take or betaken into any sort of functional understanding, the scintillation bit is really right, dunno about the void, but there's just a whole realm where it begins rather than finishes and he stopped short of starting !
ah well he did stumble into something genuine, but seeing the beginning then being too frightened to go further is how these wankers pass the time on the hard core zen blog tho to be fair most or indeed all except him haven't even seen the beginning and now pass their retirements masturbating to brad warner's image ;o)
this is one of things i most like about the net is being able to call these know-all fucks in strong language : o)
ah well the net is so full of these inauthentic shits now with the frictionless dispersal of their turgid crud that all one can do is avoid it : o)
on my blog everyone can post without censorship, people like minkfoot or brad warner or any of the other fakes never apply, timid to the point of stupidity ! ? like what does it matter, their (ex?) mother-in-laws will repudiate them ?
the essential insight that we are nothing or whatever, only comes and carries with the completely against the grain and always on the edge of failure ability to walk against what we are
this is where “being in the moment” is so screwed, because the moment is us, but the essential self-sacrificial element is being not what we are and we need to go there which is why i say that the celibate (quasi - celibate ?) path is so much easier !
well i am feeling a bit cranky and minkfoot did write something useful and illuminating, but i get offended, not on my own behalf, but for the circumvention of what infinity is about and all this stupid spew of 1/10th way house nuttiness promulgated by self important arseholes bent on puffing up their own self importance.................
minkfoot, be real, reply :o)
viracocha
surrounded by winged chimeras with human or condor heads !
that's universal and more than a little voynich so even more universal : o)
viracocha
surrounded by winged chimeras with human or condor heads !
that's universal and more than a little voynich so even more universal : o)
you can say this and that like it's so and i can say whatever like it's so, but the question is
is
it
you can say this and that like it's so and i can say this and that like it's so, but the question is
is
it
there's some grounds for thinking the vikings may have landed on the east coast of northern america but any perceived commonality of culture is in the human brain and the fact that native north and south american populations did
migrate from asia/europe over the “land bridge” between siberia and alaska or a kelp forest migration platform from about 20 to 16,000 years ago !
germ warfare both ways was the real commonality of colombus's arrival in america, he brought back the precursor of syphilis and of course started the visiting of the decimating european diseases in the americas which wiped out the inca like culture in north america ! the early sailing ships brought
leptospirosis to the east coast which pretty much wiped out what remained of the indian tribes there as well !
to get to the next level, you have to question everything on the present level and sort what's right from what's wrong !
i would suggest that almost everything that comes through the common socially received cultural “wisdom” is inherently wrong and scrambled ! : o)
a mixed bag at best and it's your own “communion with infinity” and
an awful lot of detail work to sort things out :o)
interestingly the idea of now or
being in the present comes from the western philosophic tradition and jacques derrida makes a strong
criticism (2.15) of it !
interestingly the idea of
now or being in the “present” comes from the
western philosophic tradition and jacques derrida makes a strong
criticism (2.15) of it !
interestingly the idea of now or being in the “present” comes from the
western philosophic tradition and jacques derrida makes a strong
criticism (2.15) of it !
the evidence based approach to medicine and health is not correct since it's based on the assumption that the body is not intrinsically quantum and has a finite level of complexity,
but the body and biochemistry is infinite in complexity and intrinsically quantum so there's no such thing as determinism as regards to it :o)
in
short
the
paradigms shift
shift
everytime
you
look
buddha was a mass murdering
psycho : 0 )
buddha was a mass murdering
psycho : o)
buddha was a mass murdering psycho : o)
“ life is successive approximation
”
: o)
eileen comments
don't tell me that isn't depressing, even with hormones gone women have that (ed. loss of male interest in them) to look forward to
oh well at least they see men for what
they are
\mostly flacid dickheads
at that age
my reply
humans are flacid dickheads at any age or of either sex : o)
mutation permutation explanation explication expiration :o)
mutation, permutation, explanation, explication, expiration :o)
mutation, permutation, explanation, explication expiration :o)
reply to mike
cross saying gautama buddha was a teacher implying my comment
below wasn't valid !
actually i was thinking that aśvaghoṣa was probably instrumental in the perpetuation of the myth
of buddha
like jesus and muhammad, these are all fairy tale characters and never existed historically !
the earliest form of buddhism was in fact a merchant bank !
aśvaghoṣa teaches , but he is not a teacher, just a mixed bag one is able to “dialogue” with thanks to your and others translations of him :o)
what does that make you? , a mixed bag of reality and unreality like aśvaghoṣa, myself and everybody else :o)
even the fictitious buddha who is simply a collection of stories added over many centuries, tho much more unreal and fake than any of us mixed bags :o)
the problem is no-one with any sense would claim to teach zen
so those who teach are problematic !
the problem is no-one with any sense would claim to teach
so those who teach are problematic !
excessive bombastic praise is like a facebook disease, well it is a facebook disease, psychiatrically disturbed types smearing the fake euporia of their anti - depressants all over some idioacy or other they feel needs the stench of their promotion :o)
the basic mystical experience is identity with god/infinity and the test of that is you are visited with understanding and the ability to speak originally and knowledgeably on the subject not the regurgitation of the clichés of millenia :o)
kevin, evan shaw has alot of work to do and distance to progress and undiscriminating praise is harmful, like you i feel the talent, but it's a rough and deadly game :o)
brit, or it may be a load of crap like you are writing : o)
the base of mysticism is in solitude which if you can write what you have written is obviously missing ! :o)
why people entirely without any real experience of these matters blather on the way they do i don't know, the first hallmark of communion with god in such a matter is humility and a feel for real truth about such matters and not badly hashed fictions, i don't know !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
brit, or it may be a load of crap like you are writing : o) the base of mysticism is in solitude which if you can write what you have written is obviously missing ! :o) why people entirely without any real experience of these matters blather on the way they do i don't know, the first hallmark of communion with god in such a matter is humility and a feel for real truth about such matters and not badly hashed fictions, i don't know !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the knower of allah knows through eyesight (basar) what others know through insight (basira), and - he knows through insight what virtually no-one knows!
another
homily from february last year, subtlely voynich as it itself a bit voynich, not quite true, since voynich really is not
might be true but actually, once penetrated,
flagrantly untrue and an intentional fraud and it's just so hard to live in a world so full of this intentional fraud but no admittance of the fact and very partial seeing of it at best and covered in heaps of denial
and murderous intent : o ) (
ed. “ subtlely voynich as it itself a bit voynich ”, i think the disjunction has a purpose, “it” sorta ricochets into “itself ”
: o)
it could be corrected as “ as it is itself a bit voynich ”, but the correction is not really a correction, rather an impostion, a smoothing artifice on what was expressed naturally in disjunction : o)
another
homily from february last year, subtlely voynich as it itself a bit voynich, not quite true, since voynich really is not
might be true but actually, once penetrated,
flagrantly untrue and an intentional fraud and it's just so hard to live in a world so full of this intentional fraud but no admittance of the fact and very partial seeing of it at best covered in heaps of denial and murderous intent : o ) (
ed. the author of the linked poem is a different andrew : o) ! this is just a reply, a more sympathetic and objective view, to that poem which i thought was a bit blind, he thinks there is a resolution that is more plastic or malleable than it is in reality.
however, i do understand my view is limited which is why i am including eileen's comments and a link to the poem replied to, which has, in fact a valid point : o)
--------------------
hormones don't give young women much
rest : o(
it's perpetuation of the species rational,
but not personally !
--------------------
eileen comments
it's not just teenage girls that are not given rest by hormones, it's all women any age until you go thro menopause
why do you think most are relieved by menopause from an emotional perspective?
with teenage it's the adjusting to emotions not felt before, that's why it might seem more angsty for them
hormones don't give young women much rest : o(
it's species rational, but not personally !
ibn 'arabi's poem
#18 (qif bi l-manâzil) from the
translation of desires
evan shaw's poem titled “ the idea acted upon ”
yark !
meaning entwined with rugged beauty, slowly danced
to the joy of order
for once there was this idea
to create
an expression
that would portray qualities
don't you have this urge?
a desire, to say
“ i did that! ”
even if no one knows
don't you laugh now
the way he operates
those laws used
you follow too
even if no one knows
your power a drop
his a rushing dam
along this chain of reactions
that only you can alter
by a receptive
na...
my
reply
two bodies, coupled, an illusion, rugged or delicate, pseudo nonsense? struggling to make sense that can never come, the sisyphean labour hopeless and the clarity of infinity just/always around the corner :o)
two bodies
coupled,
an illusion,
rugged or delicate,
pseudo nonsense?
struggling to make sense that can never come,
the sisyphean labour
hopeless
and the clarity of infinity just/always
around the corner
:
o
)
(
--------------------------
something twisted there for sure in evan's poem
yark is slang and has two meanings
one is vomit
the other is a sorta usa concept of white women who chase sex with negros
yeah, but he's not afraid to step into areas of incoherence and
lacking “normal” sense : o)
eileen comments :
yark also means “to make ready ”
well it used to mean that in old english
my comment
there's a natural ability there
his writing is very multilayered
his problem is poor semantic pragmatic ability !
yeah the pragmatic semantic side is really off !
the way he thinks about things
the warsan shire
poems , it's like she's stuck in a bonding phase and doesn't go any further
tho maybe that doesn't do justice to her
four heads is women having different heads for different situations, lover, mother daughter sister, worker, cook etc
i was thinking of a four headed
lily
she's really autistic with the issues like bad insomnia
i think she lacks a certain abstractness, abit bound up in what has and happens
a bit lacking an overall view
lacks a certain skepticism and humour!
it's odd about heidegger and derrida, clever though they were, it's as though both knew that they were
perpetuating some kind of fraud ! : o)
it's odd about heidegger and derrida, clever though they were, it's as though both knew
that they were perpetuating some kind of fraud
! : o)
it's odd about heidegger and derrida, clever though they were, it's as though both knew that they were perpetuating some kind of fraud !
NO NO NO
nostalgia is not a sign of aging
never never never
no no no nostalgia is not a sign of aging never never never : o)
