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Page last edited on 23 April, 2003
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Marriage
In Islam:
What Is Halal & Haram
No
Monasticism in Islam
:
The stand of Islam
is, on the one hand, against sexual license; consequently it prohibits
fornication and adultery, and blocks all ways leading to them. On the other
hand, Islam is also against suppressing the sexual urge; accordingly, it calls
people toward marriage, prohibiting renunciation and castration. (Renunciation
means remaining celibate and
renouncing worldly activity for the sake of devoting oneself to the worship of
God. Castration denotes suppressing sexual desire by removing the testicles.)
As long as he
possesses the means to marry, the Muslim is not permitted to refrain from
marriage on the grounds that he has dedicated himself to the service or the
worship of
Allah and to a life of monasticism and renunciation of the world.
The Prophet (peace
be on him) noted a tendency toward monasticism among some of
his Companions. Declaring this to be a deviation from the straight path of
Islam and a rejection of his sunnah (recommended practice), he thereby rid
Islam’s conceptual framework of such a Christian notion. Abu Qulabah narrated
“Some of the
Companions of the Prophet (peace be on him) decided to relinquish the world,
forsake their wives, and become like monks. The Prophet (peace be on him) told
them with asperity, People before you perished because of their asceticism; they
made excessive
demands on themselves until Allah brought hardships on them: you can still see
a few of them remaining in monasteries and temples. Then worship Allah and do
not associate anything with Him, perform the Hajj and the ‘Umrah, be
righteous, and all affairs will be
set right for you.” (Reported by ‘Abdur Razzaq, Ibn Jarir, and Ibn al-Mundhir).
Abu Qulabah said the following verse was revealed concerning them: O you who
believe! Do not make haram the good of things which Allah has made halal for
you, and
do not transgress;
indeed, Allah does not like transgressors. (5:90 (87)) Mujahid
narrated, “Some people, including ‘Uthman ibn Maz’un and ‘Abdullah ibn
‘Umar, intended to renounce their wives, castrate themselves, and wear coarse
clothing. Then
the above verse
and the verse following it were revealed.” (Reported by Ibn Jarir in his
Tafsir.)
It is reported by
al-Bukhari and others that three people came to the Prophet’s wives
and asked how the Prophet (peace be on him) conducted his worship. When they
were told about it, they seemed to consider it but little, saying, “What a
difference there is between us and the Messenger of Allah (peace be on him),
whose past and future sins
have been forgiven him by Allah!” One of them said, “As for me, I will
always pray during the night.” The other said, “I will have nothing to do
with women and will never marry.” When the Prophet (peace be on him) heard
about this, he explained to them
their error and deviation from the straight path, saying, I am the one who
fears Allah the most among you, yet I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I
sleep, and I marry women.
He who turns away from my sunnah has nothing to do with me. S’ad ibn Abi
Waqqas
said, Allah’s
Messenger (peace be on him) objected to ‘Uthman ibn Maz’un living in
celibacy. If he had given him permission (to do so), we (others) would have had
ourselves castrated. (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.) Addressing the young
men of all times, the Prophet (peace be on him) said, ‘Young men, those of you
who can
support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at women and
preserves your chastity.’ (Reported by al-Bukhari.) From this statement some
scholars have inferred that marriage is obligatory for the Muslim who is able to
support a wife and
that the avoidance of it is not permissible, while other scholars add the
further condition for its obligatoriness that he should be afraid of falling
into sin.
In fact, it is not
befitting that a Muslim should refrain from marriage out of fear of
poverty or of not being able to meet his obligations. He should make every
possible attempt to find employment, seeking help from Allah, for He has
promised to help those who marry in order to protect their chastity and purity.
Says Allah Ta’ala: “And marry
those among you who are single and the virtuous ones among your slaves, male or
female. If they are in poverty, Allah will enrich them out of His bounty”....
(24:33) And the Messenger of Allah (peace be on him) said, “There are three
who have a right to
the help of Allah: the one who marries out of the desire to live a chaste life,
the slave whose master has agreed to his buying his freedom when he wishes to
pay the sum, and the one who fights in the cause of Allah.” (Reported by
Ahmad, al-Nisai, al-Tirmidhi,
Ibn Majah, and al-Hakim).
Seeing
the Woman to Whom One Proposes Marriage
:
It is permissible
for a Muslim man to see the woman to whom he intends to propose
marriage before taking further steps so that he can enter into the marriage
knowing what is ahead for him. Otherwise, if he has not seen her before
marriage, he may not find her looks to his liking and may have regrets after he
is married to her.
The eye is the messenger of the heart; when the eyes meet, the hearts and the
souls of man and woman may meet as well. Muslim reported Abu Hurairah as saying
that a man
came to the
Prophet (peace be on him) and told him that he had contracted to marry a
woman of the Ansar. “Did you look at her?” the Prophet (peace be on him)
asked. “No,” he said, ‘Then go and look at her,’ said the Prophet (peace
be on him), ‘for there is something in the eyes of the Ansar,’ meaning that
some of them have a defect of their
eyes
Al-Mughira ibn Shu’bah said, I asked for a woman in marriage and Allah’s
Messenger (peace be on him) asked me whether I had looked at her. When I replied
that I had not, he said ‘Then look at her, for it may produce love between
you.’ I went to her
parents and informed them of the Prophet’s advice. They seemed to disapprove
of the idea. Their daughter heard the conversation from her room and said, ‘If
the Prophet (peace be on him) has told you to look at me, then look.’ I looked
at her, and
subsequently I married her. (Reported by Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Ibn Hibban,
and Darimi)
. The Prophet (peace be on him) did not specify either to Mughirah or to the
other man how much of the woman they were permitted to see. Some scholars are of
the opinion that looking is limited to seeing the face and hands. However, it is
permissible for
anyone to see the face and hands as long as no desire is involved; therefore,
if asking for woman in marriage is an exemption, obviously the man making the
proposal should be able to see much more of the woman than that. The Prophet
(peace be on him) said,
“When one of you asks for woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what
will induce him to marry her, he should do so.” (Reported by Abu Daoud).
Some scholars have gone to one extreme or another in relation to this
permission, but
the best course seems to be the middle one. One researcher considers it quite
appropriate in our time that the man who is proposing be allowed to see the
woman as she normally appears before her father, brother, and other muharramah.
He says: In the
context of the above hadith, he may even accompany her, together with her
father or some other mahrem as chaperone, on her usual visits to relatives or to
public places, while clad in full hijab. (Hijab denotes the proper Islamic
dress. (Trans.)) In this way he
will have the opportunity to get an insight into her reasoning, behavior, and
personality. This is a part of the meaning of the hadith, “...to look at what
will induce him to marry her.” (Al-Bahee al-Khooly, Al-Mar’ah Bain al-bayn
al-bait wal-Mujtamah’). If the man’s intention of marriage is sincere, he is
permitted to see the woman with or without her and her family’s knowledge.
Jarir ibn ‘Abdullah said concerning his wife, “(Before marriage) I used to
hide under a tree to see her.”
From the hadith concerning al-Mughira we understand that the father of a girl
cannot, out of deference to custom and tradition, prevent a suitor who is in
earnest from seeing her, for customs and traditions must be governed by the
Shari’ah. How is it possible
that the Divine Law should subjected to the whims of human beings? On the other
hand, however, neither the father, the suitor, or the fiancee can stretch this
permission to such an extent that the young man and woman, under the pretext of
betrothal or
engagement, go to movie theaters, clubs, and shopping places together without
being accompanied by a mahrem of hers, a practice which has become common today
among Muslims who are fond of imitating Western civilization and its customs.
Prohibited
Proposals
:
It is haram for a
Muslim man to propose to a divorced or widowed woman during her
‘iddah (that is, the waiting period during which she is not allowed to
remarry), for this waiting period is part of the previous marriage and may not
be violated. Although one may, during this period, convey his desire for
marriage through indirect hints or
suggestions, it may not be done through an explicit proposal. Says Allah
Ta’ala: And there is no blame on you in what you proclaim or hide in your
minds concerning betrothal to women....(2:235)
. It is likewise forbidden to the Muslim to propose to a woman who is already
betrothed
to a brother Muslim; the one whose proposal has already been accepted has
acquired a right which must be safeguarded in consideration of goodwill and
affection among people, especially among his brother Muslims. However, if the
first suitor terminates his
betrothal or gives the second suitor his permission, there is no harm in
proceeding with it.
Muslim reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace be on him) said, “A
Believer is a brother to another Believer. It is therefore not lawful for him to
outbid his brother in
buying something or to propose to a woman when his brother has done so, unless
he gives him permission.” And al-Bukhari reported that the Prophet (peace be
on him) said, “A man must not propose to anther man’s betrothed unless he
withdraws or gives
him permission.”
The
Consent of the Girl
:
It is the girl’s
right to make a decision concerning her marriage, and her father or
guardian is not permitted to override her objections or ignore her wishes. The
Prophet (peace be on him) said, A woman who has been previously married has more
right concerning her person than her guardian, and a virgin’s consent must be
asked about
herself, her consent being her silence. (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
Ibn Majah and some other transmitters report the following hadith: A girl came
to the Prophet (peace be on him) and informed him that her father had married
her to her cousin
against her wishes, whereupon the Prophet (peace be on him) allowed her to
exercise her choice. She then said, ‘I am reconciled to what my father did but
I wanted to make it known to women that fathers have no say in this matter.’
The father of a girl must not delay marriage of his daughter if a proposal is
received from a man of equal status who is of sound religion and character. The
Prophet (peace be on him) said, “Three matters should not be delayed: salat
when its time comes, burial
when the funeral has arrived, and the marriage of a single woman when a man of
equal status has proposed.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi.) He further said,
“When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks for
your daughter in marriage,
accede to his request. If you do not do so there will be corruption and great
evil on the earth.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi.)
Women
To Whom Marriage is Prohibited
:
It is permanently
haram for a Muslim to marry a woman who belongs to one of the
following categories:
(1) The father’s wife, whether divorced or widowed. During the period of
jahiliyyah
such marriages were allowed. Then Islam prohibited them, for once a woman is
married to a man’s father she acquires the status of his mother, and this
prohibition is out of honor and respect for the father. Moreover, as this
inviolable prohibition leaves
no room for sexual attraction between the son and his step-mother, they are
able to develop a relationship of respect and honor.
(2) The mother, including the grandmothers on both sides.
(3) The daughter, including the granddaughters from the son or daughter.
(4) The sister, including the half, and step-sisters.
(5) The paternal aunt, whether she is the real, half, or step-sister of the
father.
(6) The maternal aunt, whether she is the real, half, or step-sister of the
father.
(7) The brother’s daughter, i.e., his niece.
(8) The sister’s daughter, i.e., his niece.
All these female
blood-relatives are a man’s muharramat and he is mahrem to his
corresponding female relatives. Marriage to any mahrem whomsoever is
permanently prohibited. The reasons for this prohibition are as follows.
(A) Entertaining any sexual thoughts concerning such close relatives as
one’s mother,
sister, and daughter is instinctively abhorrent to human nature; there are even
certain animals which avoid mating with such closely-related animals. The
respect a man feels for his aunts is like the respect he has for his mother, and
likewise uncles are regarded
as fathers.
(B) Since the family must live together in intimacy and privacy but without
incestuous
relations, the Shari’ah intends to cut at the roots of any sexual attraction
among such close relatives.
(C) Since there is natural love and affection among such close blood
relatives, the intent
of the Shari’ah is to expand the circle of love and kinship by prohibiting
incest and thereby directing the man’s search for women outside the family.
Thus each marriage extends the sphere of love, bringing new people within this
ever-expanding network of
affection: “And He has put love and mercy between you.” (30:21)
(D) The natural sentiments of love and affection between a man and the
above-mentioned female relatives must be kept strong forever. If marriage were
permitted between such relatives, it would cause jealousies, dissensions, and
the
disruption of families, destroying the very sentiments of love and affection
which give cohesiveness and permanence to the family structure.
(E) The offspring of marriages to such close blood relatives would most
probably be
defective and weak. Moreover, if physical or mental defects are present in the
members of a family, they would become more pronounced among the children of
such marriages.
(F) The woman needs someone to champion her rights and support her case
against
her husband, especially when relations between the two of them become strained.
If those women who could defend her became rivals, how would this be possible?
Marriages
Prohibited by Reason of Fosterage
:
(9) The foster mother: It is haram for a Muslim to marry a woman who has
suckled him
during his infancy, for suckling makes her like his real mother, since milk has
gone into the making of his flesh and bones. Nursing consciously or
unconsciously produces feelings of motherhood in a woman and of kinship in a
child, and although these feelings
might seem to disappear as the child grows and becomes a man, they remain
hidden in the unconscious.
However, the prohibition of marriage based on fosterage is effective only if
the suckling occurred before the time of weaning; that is, when milk was the
primary source of food. Another condition is that the child has suckled his fill
on five separate occasions, a fill
being defined as when the child leaves off suckling of his own accord. After a
survey of all the ahadith on this subject, the fixing of five sucklings as the
minimum seems to be the preferred view.
(10)
Foster sisters: Just as a woman become a mother to a child by virtue of
suckling,
likewise her daughters become his sisters, her sisters his aunts, and so on.
The Prophet (peace be on him) said: “What is haram by reason of genealogy is
haram by reason of fosterage.” (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
Thus the foster-sisters, foster-aunts, and foster-nieces are all muharramat and
marriage to them is permanently prohibited.
In-Law
Relationships
:
(11)
The mother-in-law: Marriage to the wife’s mother is permanently
prohibited from
the time a man enters into a marriage contract with a woman, whether he and his
wife have engaged in sexual intercourse or not. The act of marriage itself gives
the mother-in-law the same status as the mother.
(12)
The step-daughter: A man cannot marry his step-daughter (his wife’s
daughter by
a previous marriage) if sexual intercourse has taken place with her mother, his
wife. However, if a man divorces his wife without having had intercourse with
her, it is permissible for him to marry her daughter by a previous marriage.
(13)
The daughter-in-law: That is, the wife of the real son, not that of the
adopted son.
In fact, Islam abolished the permissibility of the system of legal, formalized
adoption, because this is contrary to fact and to reality, resulting in the
prohibiting of what is essentially halal and the permitting of what is
essentially haram. Allah Ta’ala says: ...Nor
has He made your sons by adoption your (real) sons. Those are simply words from
your mouths....(33:4) meaning that it is merely an expression of the language
which does not alter reality nor transform an outsider to the family into a
blood relative.
These three types
of female relatives are forbidden in marriage in order that peaceful
relationships may be maintained among the in laws.
Sisters
as Co-Wives
:
(14)
As opposed to the practice of the period of jahiliyyah, Islam forbade
taking two
sisters as co-wives at the same time, because the feeling of love and
sisterliness which Islam wants to maintain between sisters would be destroyed if
one sister became the co-wife of the same husband. While the Qur’an mentioned
the two sisters, the Prophet
(peace be on him) added, “A man may not be married to a woman and her
paternal
aunt (at the same time), nor to a woman and her maternal aunt”. (Reported by
al-Bukhari and Muslim.) and he said, “If you do this, you will sever your ties
of
kinship.” (Reported by Ibn Hibban.) And how could Islam permit the breaking
of such kinship ties when it places so much importance on them?
Married
Women
:
(15)
As long as a woman is married, her marriage to any other man is
prohibited. She
may marry another man only when two conditions are fulfilled:
1. Her marriage tie is broken either because of the death of her husband or
because of
divorce;
2. She has completed the period of waiting (‘iddah) ordained by Allah. For
a pregnant
woman this period ends when she delivers the baby. If she is widowed but not
pregnant, the period of ‘iddah is four months and ten days, while if she is
divorced and it is not known whether or not she is pregnant, the ‘iddah is
three menstrual cycles. This
‘iddah relates to the woman who has menstrual periods; for a woman who does
not menstruate, the ‘iddah is three months. Allah Ta’ala says: “And
divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods. And
it is not permissible for them
to conceal what
Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the Last
Day.” (2:228) “...and As for those who have no further expectation of
menstruation among your women, if you are in doubt, the waiting period is three
months, as well as for those who have no menses. And for those who are pregnant,
their period is until
they deliver their burdens.” (65:4) And, “For those of you who die and
leave behind widows, they shall wait concerning themselves for four months and
ten days...” (2:234) Of these fifteen categories of female relatives to whom
marriage is prohibited, fourteen
are mentioned in Surah al-Nisa: “And do not marry those women whom your
fathers married, except what is past; indeed, it was an indecency and an
abomination, and an evil path. Forbidden to you are your mothers and your
daughters, and your sisters and
your father’s sisters and your mother’s sisters, and your brothers’
daughters and your
sisters’ daughters, and your foster mothers and your foster sisters, your
wives’ mothers, your stepdaughters under your guardianship born of your wives
to whom you have gone in—and if you have not gone into them there is no blame
on you—and the wives
of your sons proceeding from your loins, and that you should marry two sisters
at one time, except what is past; indeed Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.”
(4:22-23) The prohibition against being married to a woman and any of her aunts
at the same time is
derived from the hadith cited above.
Mushrik
Women
:
(16)
A woman who is mushrik (mushrik denotes someone who commits shirk, or
ascribes partners to Allah by his polytheistic beliefs or idolatrous practices.
- Trans.), that is, who worships idols or associates other deities with Allah,
is also among those who are prohibited. Allah Ta’ala says, “And do not marry
mushrik women until they
believe, for a believing bondmaid is better than a mushrik woman, even though
you may admire her. And do not marry (your girls) to mushrik men until they
believe, for a believing bondsman is better than a mushrik, even though you may
admire him. They
(mushrikeen) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites you to the Garden and to
forgiveness by His grace....(2:221)
This verse proclaims that a Muslim man may not marry a mushrik woman nor may a
Muslim woman marry a mushrik man, because there is a great, unbridgeable gulf
between the two systems of belief. Islam invites people to the Garden of
Paradise,
while shirk (idolatry or polytheism) leads them to the Fire of Hell. While
Muslims believe in God, His messengers, and the Hereafter, mushrikeen associate
others with
God, reject His messengers, and deny the Hereafter. Marriage means living under
one
roof in harmony and love; how then would it be possible for such conflicting
beliefs and practices to co-exist peacefully together in one abode?
Marriage
to the Women of the People of the Book
:
Islam has made
marriage to Jewish or Christian women lawful for Muslim men, for they
are Ahl al-Kitab, that is, People of the Book, or people whose tradition is
based upon a divinely revealed Scripture. Although they have distorted and
altered it, they do possess a religion of divine origin, and hence Islam has
made some exceptions in
dealing with them. The Qur’an says: ...And the food of those who were given
the Scripture (before you) is permitted to you and your food is permitted to
them. And
(lawful to you in marriage are) chaste women from the Believers and chaste
women
from those who were given the Scripture before you, when you give them their
due cowers, desiring chastity, not lewdness or secret intrigues....{5:6: (5)}
Tolerance of such
a degree is a characteristic of Islam which is hardly to be found
among other faiths and nations. Despite the fact that Islam takes the People of
the Book to task for their unbelief and error, it permits the Muslim to marry a
Christian or
Jewish woman who
may, as his consort, the mistress of his house, the mother of his
children, the source of his repose, and his companion for life, retain her own
faith—all this, while the Qur’an says concerning marriage and its mystique,
“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves,
that you may dwell with them
in tranquility, and He has put love and mercy between you....(30:21) However, a
warning is in order here. In order of preference, a believing, practicing
Muslim woman who
loves her religion is preferable to a nominal Muslim woman who
has inherited Islam from her parents. The Prophet (peace be on him) said,
“Get the one who is religious and prosper.” (Reported by al-Bukhari.) It is
also obvious that a Muslim woman, regardless of who she is, is better suited to
a Muslim man than a
woman of Christian or Jewish faith, regardless of her merits. If a Muslim man
has the slightest suspicion that a non-Muslim wife might affect the beliefs and
attitudes of his children, it becomes obligatory on him to exercise caution.
If the number of Muslims in a country is small—for example, if they are
immigrants residing in a non-Muslim country—their men ought to be prohibited
from marrying
non-Muslim women because, since Muslim women are prohibited from marrying
non-Muslim men, their marriage to non-Muslim women means that many Muslim girls
will remain unmarried. Since this situation is injurious to the Muslim society,
this injury can be avoided by temporarily suspending this permission.
The
Prohibition of a Muslim Woman’s Marrying a Non-Muslim
:
Man
It is haram for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man, regardless of whether
he
is of the People of the Book or not. We have already mentioned the saying of
Allah Ta’ala, ...And do not marry (your girls) to idolaters until they
believe....(2:221) And He
said concerning the immigrant Muslim women, ...Then if you know them to be
Believers, do not send them back to the unbelievers. They are not halal for
them (as
wives), nor are they halal for them (as husbands). (60:10) No text exists which
makes exceptions for the People of the Book, hence, on the basis of the above
verses, there is
a consensus among Muslims concerning this prohibition. Thus, while a Muslim man
is permitted to marry a Christian or Jewish woman, a Muslim woman is not allowed
to marry a Christian or Jewish man. There are many sound
reasons for this difference. First, the man is the head of the household, the
one who maintains the family, and he is responsible for his wife. And while
Islam guarantees freedom of belief and practice to the Christian or Jewish wife
of a Muslim, safeguarding
her rights according to her own faith, other religions, such as Judaism and
Christianity, do not guarantee the wife of a different faith freedom of belief
and practice, nor do they safeguard her rights. Since this is the case, how can
Islam take chances on the future of its daughters by giving them into the hands
of people who neither honor their religion
nor are concerned to protect their rights? A marriage between a man and woman
of different faiths can be based only on the
husband’s respect for his wife’s beliefs; otherwise a good relationship can
never develop. Now, the Muslim believes that both Judaism and Christianity
originated in divine revelation, although later distortions were introduced into
them. He also believes
that God revealed the Taurat to Moses and the Injeel to Jesus, (Taurat refers
to the original scripture revealed to the Prophet Moses by God, and Injeel to
the Prophet Jesus. These are not to be confused with either the existing Torah
or Old Testament, or
the four Gospels of the New Testament. (Trans.) and that both Moses and Jesus
(peace be on them) were among the messengers of Allah who were distinguished by
their steadfast determination. Accordingly, the Christian or Jewish wife of a
Muslim
lives under the protection of a man who respects the basic tenets of her faith,
her
scripture, and her prophets, while in contrast to this the Jew or Christian
recognizes neither the divine origin of Islam, its Book, or its Prophet (peace
be on him). How then
could a Muslim woman live with such a man, while her religion requires of her
the observance of certain worships, duties, and obligations, as well as certain
prohibitions. It would be impossible for the Muslim woman to retain her respect
for her beliefs as
well as to practice her religion properly if she were opposed in this regard by
the master of the house at every step.
It will be realized from this that Islam is consistent with itself in
prohibiting the Muslim man to marry a mushrik woman, for since Islam is
absolutely opposed to shirk, it would obviously be impossible for two such
people to live together in harmony and love.
Fornicatresses
:
(17)
Here “fornicatresses” (al-zaniyah) denotes women who earn money
through
prostitution. It is reported that Marthad ibn Abu Marthad asked the Prophet’s
permission to marry a prostitute named ‘Anaq with whom he had relations during
the
pre-Islamic
period. The Prophet (peace be on him) did not give him an answer until
Allah revealed, “The fornicator shall not marry anyone except a fornicatress
or an idolatress, and the fornicatress shall not marry anyone but a fornicator
or an idolater,
and that (marrying
them) is haram for the Believers.” (24:3)
The Prophet (peace be on him) then recited this verse to Marthad and
said, “Do not marry her.” (This story is reported by Abu Daoud, al-Nisai,
and al-Tirmidhi.)
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala has permitted Muslims to marry chaste believing
women or chaste women of the People of the Book. Similarly, He has made marriage
lawful to men on the condition that they seek it “in honest wedlock, not in
lust.” (4:24).
Accordingly, if someone does not accept this command from the Book of Allah,
nor considers it binding, he is a mushrik (As we saw in Chapter One in the
discussion concerning Allah’s sole right to legislate the halal and haram for
His servants, anyone
who disobeys or disregards this explicit command of Allah Ta’ala is
considered a mushrik or an associator), and no one will agree to marry him
except another mushrik. If someone accepts this command as binding, but despite
this he marries a fornicatress
to whom marriage has been prohibited, he becomes a fornicator himself. This
ayah just cited comes after the ayah prescribing the punishment of flogging for
fornicators (This punishment has been prescribed for the unmarried fornicator
and his
partner, while the punishment of death by stoning, if the crime is proved
either by four male adult eye witnesses to the act or by self confession, has
been prescribed for the married adulterer and his partner. (Trans.)): “Flog
the woman and the man guilty of
fornication each with a hundred stripes....(24:2) While this is a corporal
punishment, the punishment mentioned in 24:3 is a civil
punishment, for depriving fornicators of the right to marry chaste women is
like
depriving someone of citizenship, nationality, or some other civil right as a
punishment for a crime.
Ibn al-Qayyim,
after explaining the meaning of the previously-cited verse goes on to
say: “This explicit injunction of the Qur’an is what human nature and
reason demand. Allah Ta’ala prohibits His slave (the Muslim man) to become a
pimp to his wayward
wife, as He made man’s nature with an instinctive abhorrence and contempt for
acting
as a pimp. This is why, when people want to abuse someone in the most
disparaging manner, they call him ‘the husband of a whore;’ and Allah does
not permit the Muslim to be like that. Further light is thrown on this
prohibition by considering the crime of the
woman against her husband and society. She defiles the bed of her husband and
perverts the lineage which Allah desires to preserve for the integrity and
smooth functioning of society, which He counts as one of His favors upon
mankind. Adultery
leads to the confounding and doubting of parentage. It is thus one of the
beauties of the
Islamic Shari’ah that it prohibits marriage to a prostitute until she repents
and demonstrates that she is not pregnant (that is, until she has a menstrual
period in order
to ascertain that
she is not carrying a child).” (lghathat al-Lahfan, vol. 1, pp. 66-67.)
Moreover, a prostitute is a vile and degraded woman. Allah has ordained
that marriage be a source of affection and mercy between the spouses. How then
could a vile woman be the object of love of a virtuous man, since the partners
in a marriage must be akin in
their ideas, attitudes, and characters if true love and understanding are to
develop between them? As vileness and virtue are antithetical to each other both
by nature and by considerations of morality, there cannot even be a sympathy,
much less love and
affection, between the two. Indeed, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala has spoken
truly in His saying, Vile women are for vile men, and vile men are for vile
women; virtuous women are for virtuous men and virtuous men are for virtuous
women. (24:26)
Temporary
Marriage (Mut’ah)
:
Marriage in Islam
is a strong bond, a binding contract, based on the intention of both
partners to live together permanently in order to attain, as individuals, the
benefit of the repose, affection, and mercy which are mentioned in the Qur’an,
as well as to attain the social goal of the reproduction and perpetuation of the
human species: “And Allah has
made for you spouses of your own nature, and from your spouses has made for you
sons and grandsons....(16:72)
Now, in temporary marriage (known in Arabic as mut’ah), which is contracted
by the two parties for a specified period of time in exchange for a specified
sum of money, the above-mentioned purposes of marriage are not realized. While
the Prophet (peace be
on him) permitted temporary marriage during journeys and military campaigns
before
the Islamic legislative process was complete, he later forbade it and made it
forever haram.
The reason it was
permitted in the beginning was that the Muslims were passing through
what might be called a period of transition from jahiliyyah to Islam.
Fornication was very common and wide-spread among the pre-Islamic Arabs. After
the advent of Islam, when they were required to go on military expeditions, they
were under great
pressure as a result of being absent from their wives for long periods of time.
Among the Believers were some who were strong in faith and others who were weak.
The weak ones feared that they would be tempted to commit adultery, a major sin
and an
evil course, while the strong in faith, on the other hand, were ready to
castrate themselves, as stated by Ibn Mas’ud: “We were on an expedition with
the Messenger of Allah (peace be on him) and did not have our wives with us, so
we asked Allah’s
Messenger (peace be on him), ‘Should we not castrate ourselves? (The reason
for this request was the desire to maintain their purity of mind and body, which
was in danger of being affected by their unmet needs. (Trans.)) He forbade us to
do so but permitted
us to contract marriage with a woman up to a specified date, giving her a
garment as a dower (mahr).” (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.) Thus
temporary marriage provided a solution to the dilemma in which both the weak
and the strong found themselves. It was also a step toward the final
legalization of the complete marital life in which the objectives of permanence,
chastity, reproduction, love, and mercy, as well as the widening of the circle
of relationships through marriage
ties were to be realized.
We may recall that the Qur’an adopted a gradual course in prohibiting
intoxicants and
usury, as these two evils were widespread and deeply rooted in the jahili
society. In the same manner the Prophet (peace be on him) adopted a course of
gradualism in the matter of sex, at first permitting temporary marriage as a
step leading away from
fornication and adultery, and at the same time coming closer to the permanent
marriage relationship. He then prohibited it absolutely, as has been reported by
‘All and many other Companions. Muslim has reported this in his Sahih,
mentioning that al-Juhani was
with the Prophet (peace be on him) at the conquest of Makkah and that the
Prophet (peace be on him) gave some Muslims permission to contract temporary
marriages.
Al-Juhani said,
“Before leaving Makkah the Messenger of Allah (peace be on him)
prohibited it.” In another version of the hadith we find the Prophet’s own
words, “Allah has made it haram until the Day of Resurrection.”
The question then remains—Is temporary marriage (mut’ah) absolutely haram,
like marriage to one’s own mother or daughter, or is it like the prohibition
concerning the eating of pork or dead meat, which becomes permissible under real
necessity, the
necessity in this case being the fear of committing the sin of zina? The
majority of the Companions held the view that after the completion of the
Islamic legislation, temporary marriage was made absolutely haram. Ibn ‘Abbas,
however, held
a different opinion, permitting it under necessity. A person asked him about
marrying women on a temporary basis and he permitted him to do so. A servant of
his then asked, “Is this not under hard conditions, when women are few and the
like?” and he
replied, “Yes.” (Reported by al-Bukhari.) Later, however, when Ibn ‘Abbas
saw that people had become lax and were engaging in temporary marriages without
necessity, he withdrew his ruling, reversing his opinion. (Zad
al-Mi’ad,vol.4,p. 7. Bayhaqi
transmitted it and
Muslim as well.)
Marrying
More Than One Woman
:
Islam is a way of
life consonant with nature, providing human solutions to complex
situations and avoiding extremes. This characteristic of Islam can be observed
most clearly in its stand concerning the taking of more than one wife. Islam
permits the
Muslim to marry
more than one woman in order to resolve some very pressing human
problems, individual as well as social.
Many peoples and
religions prior to Islam permitted marriage to a host of women,
whose number reached tens and sometimes hundreds, without any condition or
restriction. Islam, on the other hand, laid down definite restrictions and
conditions for
polygamy.
With regard to the restriction, it limited to four the maximum number of
wives a man
might have. When Ghailan al-Thaqafi accepted Islam, he had ten wives. “Choose
four of them and divorce the rest,” the Prophet (peace be on him) told him
(Reported by al-Shafi’i, Ahmad, al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Ibn Abi Shaybah, al-Darqutni,
and
Bayhaqi.). Similarly, some men who had eight (Reported by Abu Daoud in his
Musnad.) or five wives at the time of embracing Islam were told by the Prophet
(peace be on him) to retain only four (Reported by Ahmad, al-Darimi, Ibn Hibban,
al-Hakim,
and the compilers of Sunan (Abu Daoud, al-Nisai, and Ibn Majah).) The case of
the Prophet (peace be on him), who himself had nine wives, was exempted from
this by Allah for the sake of da’wah (the propagation of the message of Islam)
during his lifetime and because of the need of the Muslim ummah after his
death.
Justice
Among Wives - A Condition
:
The condition
which Islam lays down for permitting a man to have more than one wife
is confidence on his part that he will be able to deal equitably with his two
or more wives in the matter of food, drink, housing, clothing and expenses, as
well as in the
division of his
time between them. Anyone who lacks the assurance that he will be able
to fulfill all these obligations with justice and equality is prohibited by
Allah Ta’ala from marrying more than one woman, for Allah Ta’ala says:
...But if you fear that you will not be able to do justice (among them), then
(marry) only one....(4:3) And the Prophet
(peace be on him) said, “Anyone who has two wives and does not treat them
equally
will come on the Day of Resurrection dragging one part of his body which will
be hanging down.” (Reported by the compilers of Sunan and by Ibn Hibban and
al-Hakim.)
The equal
treatment mentioned here pertains to the rights of the wives, not to the love
the husband feels towed them, for equality in the division of love is beyond
human capacity and any imbalance in this regard is forgiven by Allah Ta’ala
who says: And you will not be able to do justice among (your) wives, however
much you may wish to. But
do not turn away (from one of them) altogether....(4:139) This is why the
Prophet (peace be on him) used to divide his time among his wives equally,
saying, “O Allah, this is my division in regard to what I can control. Then do
not take me to task
regarding what Thou controllest and I do not control” (Reported by the
compilers of Sunan.), referring to the attachment and affection which he felt
for one particular wife. And when he planned to go on a journey, Allah’s
Messenger (peace be on him) would
cast lots among his wives, and the one who was chosen by lot would accompany
him. (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
Why
Marriage to More Than One Woman is Permitted in Islam
:
Islam is the last
and final word of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala, ending the series of His
messages to mankind. It therefore came with a general law suitable for all
times and places, and for the whole of humanity. It did not legislate for the
city dweller only, while neglecting the nomad, nor for the cold regions while
ignoring the hot ones, nor for one
particular period of time, forgetting later times and the generations to come.
Islam recognizes the needs and interests of all people, of individuals as well
as groups. And among human beings one finds that individual who has a strong
desire for children
but whose wife is barren, chronically ill, or has some other problem. Would it
not be more considerate on her part and better for him to marry a second wife
who can bear him children, while retaining the first wife with all her rights
guaranteed?
Then there may also be the case of a man whose desire for sex is strong, while
his wife has little desire for it, or who is chronically ill, has long menstrual
periods, or the like, while her husband unable to restrain his sexual urge.
Should it not be permitted to him
to marry a second wife instead of his hunting around for girlfriends? There are
also times when women outnumber men, as for example after wars which often
decimate the ranks of men. In such a situation it is in the interests of the
society
and of women themselves that they become co-wives to a man instead of spending
their entire lives without marriage, deprived of the peace, affection, and
protection of marital life and the joy of motherhood for which they naturally
yearn with all their hearts.
Only three possible alternatives exist for such surplus women who are not
married as first wives:
(1) to pass their whole lives in bitter deprivation, (2)
to become sex objects and
playthings for lecherous men; or
(3)
to become co-wives to men who are able to
support more than one wife and who will treat them kindly.
Unquestionably, the last alternative is the correct solution, a healing remedy
for this problem, and that is the judgement of Islam: And Who is better than
Allah in judgement, for a people who have certain faith? {5:53 (50)}
For this is the Islamic “polygamy” which people in the West consider so
abhorrent and to which they react with such hostility, while their own men are
free to have any number
of girlfriends, without restriction and without any legal or moral
accountability, either in
respect to the woman or to the children she may bear as a result of this
irreligious and immoral plurality of extra-marital relationships. Let the two
alternatives—plurality of wives or plurality of illicit affairs — be
compared, and let people ask themselves which
is the proper course of action, and which of the two groups is correctly
guided!
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* pbuh - Peace be upon him; It is a
Muslim practise to convey prayers of peace whenever the name of Prophet Muhammad
(pbuh) and other prophets is taken. |
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