Jackie Riviera yawned silently as she stood on her cue and waited for the director to shout action. This was her sixth year in the role of the Doctor and finally she was starting to get serious fan approval for her work. Sure there was the immediate boost of the audience figures when she took over the role but the last few years had saw a slow but steady decline in her audience share. The suddenly the figures for last year had shoot back up and she had topped the best Doctor poll in Doctor Who Magazine.
Of course during the last year she had finally gotten rid of that evil little trollop Frieda, the younger sister of her best friend and also Leonardo after his head finally became too big to fit through any of the BBC’s front doors.
Now she had big yummy, scrummy Andrew Martin in the role of Bobby, bubbly Trish with her dirty jokes and quite obvious plastic tits as Debbie and lovely Dawn who was doing the voiceover for K-9. There was also a sting of actors to play guest roles as Webbi, one of this years bright ideas designed to draw audiences back with big name guest stars. She was still hoping they could get Mick Jagger, as she wanted to remind him of the time she had woken up underneath him once in a hotel room. The director spoke, interrupting Jackie’s train of thought.
“Silence on set and action!”
“Cut off from my companions and the TARDIS, what can I do? I shouldn’t stand around here talking to myself should I? I know...I’ll have a cup of tea.” She pulled the prop flask out of her pocket and unscrewed the lid. “Mmmm, lovely tea, just what the Doctor ordered.” She took a mouthful and tried to keep a straight face.”
“And cut!”
Jackie spat the vile stuff out of her mouth. “What the hell is this? Tastes like meths. Get me a glass of white wine someone?” She spotted Viv standing next to one of the camera men, trying to get a close up of her own no doubt. “Hi Viv, see if you can find a bottle of wine and two glasses. They’ll not notice us if we quietly get out of it in a corner.”
Viv nodded. “Yeah, sure Jackie. Frieda is still upset because they forced her to leave when they got rid of Leonardo.”
Jackie scoffed at her former co-star’s situation. “Well what does she expect when she blackmails the producer into giving her an on screen affair with the boy? She painted herself into that corner, the little tramp.”
“Mind you it’s not as bad as poor Winona, the poor little thing can’t even shop for a pair of knickers without being arrested for possession. What sort of a world is it when they don’t allow to carry a little pick me up around with you?”
Jackie nodded. “Yeah, mind you they soon got rid of Winona not long after she got her own show. She kept taking the outfits home with her and several of her co-stars too.”
“Where shall we go for lunch? Viv asked.
“I have to hang around here Viv, they’re running late again. Bloody typical isn’t it? That bloody rubber spider prop cost more than Trish’s boobs! Mind you it doesn’t get as much screen time as they do. They had to reshoot half of last week’s scenes and the cameraman is still in police custody. All you could see was my chest and then hers, or both if it was a two shot.”
“Four shot more like.” Viv joked.
“Yeah, we should try and get you back on the show. I’m sure they can manage to bring Queen Sinestra back from the dead.”
“Yes, it was only a cosmic blender I fell into. They can find some way of demincing me. All the best villains come back with next to no explanation anyway.”
“Next to no explanation anyway sweetie, the new producer insists that there’s some continuity or at least a token attempt to explain things.”
The buzzer sounded and all the stagehands looked at the star of the show.
“Oh we’re ready are we?” Jackie stood up. “I’ll chat to you after the next scene Viv. The show must go on after all.”
Viv watched as Jackie got back into character by leaping about the place and swearing like a Liverpool docker. “Good luck Jackie.”
“Quiet on set!” The Director shouted and somehow the magic resumed as another piece of Doctor Who was made.