05 june 1999
9:49pm
enjoyment through those younger than me

so, i spent all of last week in the santa cruz mountains, right above pescadero (just south of halfmoon bay, along highway 1). i was at exploring new horizons outdoor school, which, if you've looked at the rest of my site, you know is my favorite place to be. giving love to the redwoods, to the pacific, to nature and the world in general. nothing is better. i had a crazy group of eight 6th grade boys, full of hormones and bathroom humor. half of what they said was completely inappropriate by camp standards, but they made me laugh so much. especially when they danced around the cabin and made up verses to the banana slug song while i played it on my guitar. kids are the greatest, so much fun. and i met an incredible 17 year old guy, a counselor down there for his first time. none of the other counselors liked him, but i sat down with him one night, and we talked for about an hour, under the stars. and he has provoking, insightful ideas and comments and words in his head. and some strangeness, which is found in all of the most interesting people i know. it was nice. refreshing. i'm richer for having met him.

i spent today working up at the lafayette reservior, meeting parents and kids for camp this summer. it was family picnic day. oh, joy. and of course the directors decided i could work at the barbecue doing s'mores because i worked outdoor cooking all last summer at cic. you know, i'm having real trouble working up excitement for doing this all summer. i mean, i love kids. but i think these people running the camp may drive me crazy. they're too nice, to the point of being obviously full of fake enthusiasm about seeing and talking to you. and today i was watching people skin diving on tv, and i missed it so much, i thought again that maybe i should've just gone back to catalina. even if i would've had to have done the same job again, i would've gotten to implement the environmental program, and would have the amazing opportunities presented to one living on catalina island.

and then i also talked to corey yesterday, and he's decided that he wants to hike the john muir trail. it's my dream, i want to do it so badly. and he asked me if i would do it with him, from the middle of july to the middle of august. what i wouldn't do to just cancel doing camp work this summer and go on this trip. hiking, camping, taking pictures... when will i have this opportunity presented to me again? this is the last summer in the protective bubble called college, and in less than a year the bubble will explode and i will be thrust into the real world. yes, that was scary music you just heard rising in the background. but... i need to work. i need money. if i can keep the money i earn this summer (instead of turning it all over to swarthmore like i usually have to), maybe i can get a grip on some of the things i want to do in my last year of college, to really make this senior year a memorable one. i could get a car. i could travel. go out with my friends often. i want to make sure i leave swat with good... no, amazing memories.

10:10pm