10 june 1999
10:08pm
i am not a gay man... really.

i've been kinda pissy today (which sounds so much like something my mom would say). you know when days just don't start out right, it's really really hard to improve them? compared to days when something not so cool happens say, in the middle of them? yeah, well, i got up on the wrong side of the bed today. which was painful, because that side is a wall. but anyway. i had to get up and immediately start taking apart my bed. you see, my grandmother arrived today from los angeles. and since she's here for my sister's graduation (tomorrow), i'm the one who has to give up my room. but since my bed is pretty much a mountain (you need someone to belay you up, basically), my grandmother can't use it. so. i had to disassemble the whole thing, drag the mattress and the box springs and the other mattress and box springs (which normally reside under my bed) into the hall (and into the bathroom... i ran out of space in the hall), then take the frame apart, then put on some pants to go outside to get into the garage to get the normal bed frame, bring it in, assemble it, drag the box springs and mattress back in, throw it on the frame, and make the bed. and then shove all of the extra stuff into my sister's room. ugh.

and the day just didn't get any better. cleaning to do, laundry, and my grandmother got here around 1:30 and since i was the only one in the house i had to sit with her until, like, 4. it's not that i don't like my grandmother, but i haven't quite learned the patience to deal with older people yet. yes, i know i'll be there someday myself, but i hope to be some cool, independent grandma or something. who rides a motorcycle. and never repeats herself. unless i'm saying something really important.

so let's talk about a better day. i went out with corey on tuesday. i drove to his house around 7, we hung out for a bit, then went shopping for dinner. we made excellent burrito-type things, with veggies and black beans and homemade guacamole. yum. then we went to see get real, which was playing at a theatre on shattuck. it was a movie about this gay boy and his relationship with the most popular jocky boy at his school, who also happens to dig guys. truly, this was like the ultimate stereotypical gay story, very cliched. oh, and this one scene, where they're both dancing with girls to "you are so beautiful," but staring at each other... horrid. corey and i were about to die. both of us just sitting there giggling in the corner of the theatre. but we had good conversation about it on the way back to his house. mainly focusing on the fact that i'm not a gay man... but i am. long story. but you can probably get some ideas. it's just a big ol' reoccurring theme in my life. i just never have the right sense in love it seems. something i was also talking about on 30 may . someday, i swear, i'll find someone. really. someone right for me. i put no requirements on looks, sex, age, orientation, etc... just someone right for me.

10:42pm