While incomplete, this disclaimer supercedes all others, actual and implied.
DISCLAIMER (and other words to that effect):Freshness is not guaranteed, so refresh as necessary. All rights reserved, all lefts reserved. Patent pending. These webpages are subject to change without notice. Bits are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to actual webpages is unintentional and purely coincidental. Based on a true events. Employees and their families are not eligible. Offer expires February 14,1998. Beware of Hogs. Beware of webmaster. As seen on TV. Don't delay,call now! One size fits all. Warning: Objects in monitor may be larger or smaller than they appear. Sit at least 6 feet away from monitor. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Colors may run or fade. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. Type hard, you are making five copies. This website is a void pointer to null where prohibited, protected, declared private, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Links are provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied. User assumes all liabilities. Not liable for damages due to use or misuse or inability to understand. An equal opportunity electron employer. No shirt, no shoes, no access. Quantities are limited while supplies last. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Falling bridge. London bridge is falling down, falling down, help, I've fallen and I can't get up. Quality, color and size may vary. There are way too many variables. Since webpages are hand-crafted, there will be slight differences in each page. If defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. No Parking. No Standing. No Solicitors. No Spitting. No Kidding. Post no bills. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies please. Parental Advisory - explicit source code. Anyone over and under 17 admitted. Keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children. Limit one per family. No money down. No purchase necessary. Cache and carry. You do not need to be present to win. Some assembly and IE4.0 required. Batteries not included. Action figures sold separately. You are respnsible for your own actions. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. Available in fine shoe stores everywhere. Take a number please. Preservatives added to improve freshness. Safety goggles must be worn at all times. Hard hat area. Sealed for your protection. The browser stops here. Call before you dig. Add toner. Add more toner. No passing. Do not cross yellow line in your lane.This website sanitized for your protection. Place stamp here. How about a nice game of chess? External use only. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use and consult your magic eight ball. Use only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures. Store in a cool dry place. 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Constantly volatile when exposed to static pointers. The white zone is for passenger loading and unloading only. Content's under pressure. Radiation hazard. Restaurant package, not for resale. USDA approved. Best if used by 1995(uh oh). First pull up, then pull down. Call before digging. Driver does not carry cash. No riders. Auto pilot is engaged during flight. Do not leap from moving vehicle. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Free software offer valid only at participating FTP sites. Slightly higher outside of the continental US. Allow four to six seconds for delivery. Cursing does not increase download speeds. This disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, misuse, neglect, repair, attempted modification, bugs in the code, damage from improper installation, incorrect line voltage, cosmic rays, missing or altered serial numbers, attempting to actually run the software, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, and incidents related to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, alien attack, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, El Nino, forest fire, flying squirrels, verbal assaults, forgetfulness or house arrest. Other restrictions may apply in your area. Not responsible for accidents. Your mileage may vary. If balance is not paid in full by tonight, then interest charges will apply from date of purchase. All sales final.
Do Not attempt to create your own website if any 3 of the following apply to you:
22) A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
21) The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
20) Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
19) You fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
18) Don't have all of your dogs on one leash.
17) Forgot to pay your brain bill.
16) A few clowns short of a circus.
15) If you had another brain, it would be lonely.
14) Too much yardage between the goal posts.
13) Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
12) A few Cokes short of a six-pack.
11) A few peas short of a casserole
10) Don't have all yore corn flakes in one box.
9) One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
8) One taco short of a combination plate.
7) A few feathers short of a whole duck.
6) Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
5) An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
4) As smart as bait.
3) Your belt doesn't go through all the loops.
2) Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
1) Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
However, you may still qualify if you have read some of the books from this list:
THE TOP 25 WORLD'S SHORTEST BOOKS
25. "Things I Wouldn't Do for Money" by Dennis Rodman
24. "Human Rights Advances in China"
23. "The Differences Between Reality and Dilbert"
22. "The Book of Virtue" by Bill Clinton
21. "To All The Men I've Loved" by Ellen DeGeneres
20. "My Plan To Find The Real Killers" by OJ Simpson
19. "Strom Thurmond: Intelligent Quotes"
18. "Al Gore: The Wild Years"
17. "Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean"
16. "America's Most Popular Lawyers"
15. "Career Opportunities for History Majors"
14. "Detroit - A Travel Guide"
13. "Different Ways to Spell Bob"
12. "Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches"
11. "Easy UNIX"
10. "Ethiopian Tips for World Dominance"
9. "Everything Men Know About Women"
8. "World Class Jewish Athletes"
7. "French Hospitality"
6. "George Foreman's Big Book of Baby Names"
5. "How To Sustain a Musical Career" by Art Garfunkel
4. "One Hundred and One Spotted Owl Recipes" by the EPA
3. "Staple Your Way to Success"
2. "The Amish Phone Book"
1. "The Engineer's Guide to Fashion"
See your local librarian for details.
This disclaimer was modified to fit this website, which is best viewed with 3-D glasses, available at participating garage sales.
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