"A  German  prosecutor  agreed to return the brain of Ulrike
 Meinhoff, cofounder of the Red Army Faction, to her family.
 .  .  . The British government,  concerned about closing-time
 binge  drinking,  proposed to let pubs stay open 24-7.  .  .  .
 Nine  Army  linguists,  including six experts in Arabic,  were
 fired for being homosexuals. .  .  .  A lawyer for Bill Wyman
 of the Rolling Stones sent a letter to Bill Wyman,  a reporter
 for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, telling him to cease and
 desist using his name,  which he received at birth,  unlike the
 rock star,  who was born William George Perks. . . .  Jesus
 Christ appeared in southern India on a toasted chappati."

• Black plague will kill half the U.S. !
• Pakistan & India start nuclear war !
• Britney Spears will convert to Islam !

The author of The Story of Stupidity and Understanding Stu-
pidity  was arrested for trying to solicit sex on the internet from
an undercover cop who was posing as a 15-year-old girl.

"New  Hampshire  was considering naming a mountain after
 Ronald Reagan. . . .  New names were being contemplated
 also for the European Union, including 'the United States of
 Europe' – Valery Giscard d'Estaing, the former president of
 France, said, 'We need a name which gets across our brand.' "

HVELENOSI@aol.com wrote Mon 4 Nov 2002 17:45:03 PST:

I personally enjoy the weekly report on the newspapers,
obscene or not.  I actually prefer obscene. . . .

[The Editors replied 4 Nov 2002 (too late now):  If  you  like
 obscene,  rush to Ralph's before the new issue is out,  buy  a
 copy of the November 5 issue of  the  Weekly World News,
 and turn to page 35 for "TERRORISM IS A DRAG!":  You
 will find a photo of an Osama bin Laden doll in crinolines and
 combat boots.]

FGDean@aol.com wrote Tue 29 Oct 2002 @17:21:26 PST:

Re the two-headed German politician waging  the  Bush-
Hussein debate with himself:  The writers of this shit must
be popping pills or smoking something.

[Editor's note:  We simply do not understand why this particular
 correspondent continues to  "blame  the  messengers"  for their
 stellar and consistently outstanding reporting of bizarre events.]

"Dogs, scientists found, are better behaved when listening to Bach
 than when listening to Metallica."