• Thou shalt tolerate the faith of others . . .
• Thou shalt not elect a fool to lead thee
• Thou shalt not . . . war . . . oil . . .  *
  

* This was the 20th Commandment and not fully deciphered.

Pete Falcon wrote Tues 21 Jun 2005 @09:04:51 CDT:

Please change  the  quote  from  Karen  Crockett
to something like, "Never eat anything bigger than
your head," or "Get it while you can."

Just a thought.

Congressman John Hostettler annoyed Gibson County officials  with an a-
mendment to prohibit federal spending  on removal of the Ten Command-
ments from the Courthouse lawn in Princeton.  "It presupposes theCounty
would not follow a court order,"  said  County Attorney  Jerry Stillwell,  a
supporter of the display.  "That's ridiculous."

Shannon Farrell jumped from seventh violist in the Louisville Orchestra to
principal violist in the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra.

"A bombing case is a bombing case,"  said ex-terrorism chief
Dale Watson, explaining the FBI's lack of interest in language
and culture. .  .  .  Donald Rumsfeld said, "A lot of bad things
that could have happened have not happened."   .  .  .[BBC News]  Molly
Beavers, an achondroplastic dwarf, sued Wal-Mart for firing
her from Sam’s Club because she did not smile enough. .  .  .
A Brit  pleaded  guilty  to discharging a fire extinguisher into a
friend’s anus. . . .  Bill Frist said that he did not diagnose Terri
Schiavo on the floor of the Senate.  . . .  Ralph Nader said the
Senate made him feel like a nigger. .  .  .  Deep Throat and the
Runaway Bride were working on movie deals.[Sify.com][ABC News.

Three of Governor Ernie's appointees were indicted  for  playing
politics with merit system jobs.  Governor Enie's response?   The
indictments are "politics."

The Garrard County Tobacco Festival is changing  its  name -- to
the "Rural Heritage Festival."

The state circuit court in Lexington was hearing an election contest
over the the University of Kentucky student body presidency.

                                         [courtesy Louisville Courier-Journal]

Haven't we had enough TV specials  featuring  aging rock & rollers?
Do we really need to see blonde 20-and-30-somethings smiling and
dancing in the aisles and doing the "wave"  (not to mention Grandma
and Grandpa sitting there singing along)  to  gray-haired  Eagles?

It was revealed that Guantanamo Bay prisoners were tortured
with the singing of Christine Aguilera. .  .  .  A survey found 99
per cent of women opposed to comb-overs. . . .  Lindsay Lo-
han’s breasts were digitally reduced in the Disney film Herbie:
Fully Loaded.  . . .  Plastic surgeons reported major business
plumping outer labias, tightening vaginas and restoring hymens.
. . . Australia won a sheep-shearing Olympics. . . . Iranis were
plannning bicycle factories in Venezuela.  . . .  A Pennsylvania
woman won  a  million-dollar  lottery  a  second time this year.
. . . Two helicopters took dips in the East River. . . . A former
high school principal in Fargo, North Dakota, stabbed her hus-
band for snoring. . . . Al Franken was being touted as a Demo-
cratic candidate for the Senate from Minnesota. .  .  .  Police in
Marin County, California,  were ticketing motorists honking for
peace.  .  .  .  A humor scientist found a formula for sitcom suc-
cess:  ((RD+V)F+S)/A.

Howard Ortega <adkins@superlook.com> sent us an e-mail
titled "crocodiles surviving traumatic injuries can help you."

FGDean@aol.com wrote Tue 7 Jun 2005 @10:04:26 PDT:

Just received an e-mail from Henry.  He said that  he  didn't
receive last Sunday's Tabloid Headlines, and I then realized
that I didn't either.  Has it been delayed this week?

We're sorry that  you (not only Henry and Fred, but the rest of our
eager readers as well) did not get your Tabloid Headlines last week.
The editor's broken hip the last Saturday of last year did not prevent
publication the last Sunday of last year, nor the following Sunday; but,
one little worm in a computer, and it pukes itself to oblivion.

With a relentless and tireless  (if not entirely selfless)  effort by our
staff, we are up and running again.  Not all our regular subscribers
are getting this issue, as we lost our latest mailing list.  If you know
anyone we've missed, please send us his or her address.  Thanks

And a special thanks to Carole Otis and Edwin Kagin, who provi-
ded not only some lost addresses but also a bunch of archives.

Activists protesting the proposed extension of I-69 from Indianapolis
to Evansville spray-painted the Statehouse.

A high school senior did not get his diploma because he wore a bolo
tie to commencement instead of a four-in-hand.

                                                             [courtesy Courier Journal]

10.  They're confused about the meaning of "peers."

  9.  They haven't stopped laughing long enough to discuss the evidence.

  8.  They want a few more free meals.

  7.  They fear for Michael's life in prison.

  6.  They're reluctant to convict him of something they'd like to do.

  5.  The instructions say "a person is guilty if . . . " and they're not sure he’s human.

  4.  They want to find him guilty but are looking for sufficient evidence.

  3.  They're comparing notes so that no one writes the same book.

  2.  They're looking for a way to find the witnesses guilty.

  1.  They're having back trouble.

Seven hundred thousand chickens expired and exploded in a
power blackout in Moscow that cut off ventilation. . . . A fire
in South Dakota killed 13,000 turkeys.  .  .  .  An  Austrialian
died when he fell into a meat grinder. . . . Seventy-four dolph-
ins known as "false killer whales"  beached themselves in Aus-
tralia, but 73 were rescued to the sea. . . .  Thousands of hun-
gry people demonstrated in Niger. .  .  .  A former Las Vegas
stripper was elected municipal judge  in  Henderson, Nevada.
.  .  . A study found that 25 per cent of call-center employees
in India  quit  because  British and Americans calling them are
rude. . . . Rival Buddhist monks brawled in Thailand.

An Indianapolis couple appealed a court order prohibiting
them from raising their 9-year-old son as a Wiccan. . . . A
road crew in San Jose dug a pothole for Gov. Schwarzen-
egger to be photographed filling. .  .  .  Thailand's nine anti-
corruption commissioners were found guilty of corruption.