• Misdemeanor for coke
• $2,000 fine
• 200 hours of 'community service'
• 1 year of probation
• Finish 'intensive'  substance abuse program
• Denied entry to Japan hours later
  

• Paula Deen:  Her plan to crush Rachel and Martha
• Rachael Ray:  'I want to SLAP Martha!'
• Martha Stewart:  'Paula's a hillbilly; Rachel's a drunk!'
  

A Grace College student was killed, in Winona Lake, as a rotten tree
fell on him and a companion as they were sitting on a hammock anch-
ored to the tree (the friend was critically injured). . . .

A juvenile correctional officer in Kokomo was charged with receiving
and hiding child pornography.
                                                            [courtesy Associated Press]

The editor of the Purdue (University) Exponent  apologized  for pub-
lishing  a  "Sex Position of the Week"  drawing,  which included non-
consensual positions.
                                                            [courtesy Poynter On line]

The president of the  Southern  Baptist  Seminary  in Louisville  warned
that yoga can be dangerous to a Christian's faith. . . .

A Newport man on trial for strangling his wife to death invoked the "caf-
feine defense" – both as a mode of insanity  and as a reason to deny the
credibility of his confession.
                                                                                     [courtesy AP]

"Washington 'political leaders' are really not leaders; they're always followers.  They always follow the culture."
 
                                               – Rich Tafel, founder and former chairman of the Log Cabin Republicans

"There are 18 kids.  If we kill three per day, how many days it will take?"

                                                                                    – Teacher (name not revealed), Okazaki, Japan

Birthdays:  Nicole Richie, 29 Joan Jett, 52 Bruce Springsteen, 61 Sophia Loren, 76 Leonard Cohen, 76 Anne Meara, 81 Mickey Rooney, 90 Deaths: Eddie Fisher, 82 Marriages: Eddie Fisher, 5 Editor of Tabloid Headlines, 5

A marijuana burn-off in Picton, New Zealand, sent a hoppy
cloud over an elementary school.  .  .  .  A truck crashed  in
Monterey  County,  California,  spilling  30,000  pounds  of
squid in a field of broccoli. . . .The Italian owner of an SUV
accumulated $259,000 in traffic fines in Brazil (where spee-
ding is cited by camera without a stop).  .  .  .  Singer  Katy
Perry  was deemed too hot for Sesame Street.  . . .  A man
was cited in Skokie,  Illinois,  for going outdoors  naked  to
check his mail (five little girls saw him). .  .  . Bystanders re-
strained  a  naked  man  who jumped into a car to assault a
woman at a coffee stand in Eugene, Oregon. . . . A resident
of Naked Creek Road in Conover, North Carolina, was ar-
rested at a mall in Rock Hill, South Carolina, for taking pho-
tos of himself without any pants on.  . . . The Republicans is-
sued a new contract on America.

[courtesy Harper's Weekly, Daily Snopes, Obscure.com, AP]

DISCUSSION GROUP:

      Don't  forget!   Readers interested in intellectual dissection of
important current events  are invited to attend the Weekly World
News Round Table at the offices of Borf Books outside Browns-
ville, Kentucky,  just after church every Sunday.  Guest  speakers
lined up for meetings in the near future  include  Christine  O'Don-
nell.


"Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment" -- Karen Crockett

Dick Freeman wrote Sun 9/12/2010 @09:28 PDT:

You may remove me from your e-mail......even the threat of burning
a Bible is wrong and in very bad taste.

The "How to Unsubscribe" instructions are reprinted below.  – Ed.


Connie Harbeson wrote Sun 9/12/2010 @13:44 EDT from Florida:

• "Glenn Beck Sex Tape"?!?!?  Just EWWWWW!
• How about some NONCOMBUSTIBLE Bibles for your demonstration?
• "Djuan" in my neck of the woods and in my classroom experience would most likely be pronounced "De-WHAAN."  It's just as remarkable as a child I knew named "Trash-unda." . . .
  

Carry on, Borf.  You make Sundays more meaningful.  Helps me keep track of time . . . .

Crossing guards have been posted on campus streets at Purdue
University.
                                                   [courtesy Associated Press]

A man shot his wife, his stepdaughter, three neighbors and
himself  to  death  in a Breathitt County trailer park dispute
involving his wife's not cooking eggs the way he liked them.

                                                            [courtesy ky.com]

"No.  I don't talk Arabic."
                                            – Would-be Quran burner "Rev." Terry Jones, asked if he had ever read it

"If we do find a body, we would definitely include checking missing persons records."

                                                                                        – Kentucky State Police detective Scott Skaggs

Dmitry Medvedev, 45
Prince Harry, 26
Frankie Avalon, 70
Twiggy, 61

A skateboarder swooped down on a preacher  about  to  burn
a  Quran  in Amarillo,  Texas,  and made off with the book. . . .
Contestants prepared for Miss Mafia, a Hungarian beauty con-
test for women who have been convicted of mafia crimes. .  .  .
Italy's Sogniflex released a love mattress including straps,  han-
dles, extra-strong springs, and a trench for knees  ("Most beds
are designed for sleeping,  not  for  love,"  explained  company
president Paolo Tonelli).  . . . Halina Zalewski, robbing a bank
in Coral Springs,  Florida,  was not satisfied with the $430 the
teller gave her and sent her to the vault  for  more – giving  the
police time to get to the bank for an arrest. . . .  Hours before
Lady GaGa appeared on TV in a dress  made  of  raw  meat,
Katherine  Margaret  Watson,  37,  entered  a  drug  store  in
Moorhead, Minnesota, wearing only a thong, pasties, a bit of
green towel and a dress made of whipped cream.  .  .  . Lady
GaGa and Harry Reid tweeted each other. .  .  . An 18-year-
old woman whose DUI, speeding and texting  crash  killed  a
passenger in Delaware got nine years in prison and four years
of probation in which visiting a social networking web site will
be prohibited. .  .  . The Calumet County, Wisconsin,  district
attorney  admitted  sending  "mash"  texts  to a woman whose
ex-lover he was prosecuting for abuse. . . .  Sheryl Urzedow-
dowski,  stopped for DUI  in Orland Park,  Illinois,  pranced
like a model on her straight line walk test  and demanded that
the police read her her Amanda rights.  . . .  A school bus dri-
ver for nine years in Dodge County, Georgia, was fired for al-
lowing two of her passengers,  aged  15  and 13,  to drive the
bus. . . . A tornado grew in Brooklyn.

[courtesy Harper's Weekly, Daily Snopes, Obscure.com, AP]

DISCUSSION GROUP:       Don't  forget!   Readers  interested  in  intellectual dissection of  important  current  events  are invited to attend  the Weekly World News Round Table  at  the offices of Borf Books outside Brownsville, Kentucky, just after church every Sunday.  Guest  speakers lined up for meetings in the near future include Kelly Ayotte, Ovide Lamontagne,  Lady Gaga,  Katherine Margaret Watson,  Sheryl Urzedowski,  and Ines Sainz –––––>

FGDean@aol.com wrote Sun 9/5/2010 @09:42 PDT re how
to pronounce the first name of Djuan Trent, Miss Kentucky:

Based on my experience in working with many black women
with creative names, my guess would be "Dwon" (or "Dwan").

With or without the vowels Ms. Girard is so concerned about?     I.e.,
DEE-won?  DEE-wan? (Dewon, Dewan?). We think one of Ms. G's
concerns is that the absence thereof will not prevent their enunciation.
– Ed.

An allegation of sexual harassment at Delphi High School was dis-
missed, upon investigation, as an incident of mere "wedging."

                                    [courtesy Lafayette Journal & Courier]

It got so hot in Patrick Preston's Hardin County farm field that his corn
popped on the stalk.
                                                                   [courtesy azcentral.com]

"“I hope this is the final plane to the destination."

                                         – An unnamed, tired Pakistani military officer, one of eight on a
                                            flight from Washington to Tampa to meet with United States mil-
                                            itary officers (the remark got his group bumped from the plane)

Luggage burst open at the Kuala Lumpur airport spilling 95 boa
constrictors and a turtle. . . . The Olde Salty Restaurant on Car-
olina Beach, North Carolina, barred, yelling and screaming chil-
dren. .  .  .  A Judge found that Jersey Shore Snooki is,  indeed,
too pretty to go to jail. . . . Andy Coulson, who resigned as edi-
tor of the British tabloid  News of the World  over  his  involve-
ment in widespread phone tapping, has become the Prime Min-
ister's chief of communications. And Piers Morgan, who resign-
ed in disgrace not only as editor of News of the World but also
later as editor of the Daily Mirror,  has  been  hired  to  replace
Larry King on American TV. .  .  . The trapped Chilean miners
are now being allowed  to  smoke  (the 33 of them will have to
share two packs a day).

tcrow61@ wrote:Sun 8/29/2010 @09:34 PDT:

What is the item that Miss Kentucky has in her lap in the "ham" picture?

That's the 16-pound,  $1.6-million prize ham  itself.   It got heavy in the arms of
Miss Kentucky, Djuan Trent; and that is why, we think, it slipped to her lap and
she was delighted the auction was over.

The question nagging us, however, is how do you say that name?   Djuan.  We
trust that someone on our Ebonics panel,  such as Edwin Kagin, or Fred Dean,
may help – Ed.

"Vowels are important."
                                        – Jeanetta Girard

"That is an error, if I said that."
                                                    – Governor Jan Brewer, after admitting she had said in June
                                                       that headless bodies were turning up in the Arizona desert

A mosque was torched in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. . . . Plax-
ico Burress lost his bid for "work release.". . . Congresswoman
Eddie Bernice Johnson, former head of the Congressional Black
Caucus,  who admitted steering CBC scholarships to aides' chil-
dren and her own relatives,  said she “unknowingly” broke anti-
nepotism rules. . . .Vladimir Putin shot a whale with a crossbow
 . . . A trespasser at a home in suburban Portland, Oregon, call-
ed 911 for towels, hot chocolate, help out of the tub, and a hug.
. . .The wife and the mistress of one of the trapped had a not so
friendly meeting at a vigil outside the San José mine in Chile. . . .
Procter&Gamble insured the Pittsburgh Steelers' Troy Polamal-
u's hair for $1 million.. . . The Chicago White Sox bought Man-
ny Ramirez' hair for $3.8 million.

[courtesy Harper's Weekly, Daily Snopes, Obscure.com, AP]

DISCUSSION GROUP:

      Don't  forget!   Readers interested in intellectual dissection of
important current events  are invited to attend the Weekly World
News Round Table at the offices of Borf Books outside Browns-
ville, Kentucky,  just after church every Sunday.  Guest  speakers
lined up for meetings in the near future includeYoelvis Bengochea.


"Your worst humiliation is only someone else's momentary entertainment" -- Karen Crockett