Texas bloodbath just the start as ISIS invades America (Globe); FBI agent reveals JFK Jr. was murdered, bomb blew plane apart (Globe); Yuck Dynasty! Scientists insist beards are dirtier than toilets (Globe); Kate: 'No more babies!" enough problem pregnancies (Globe); Karadashians fire Kris (Life & Style)

Len Zanger wrote Sun 5/24/15 @09:22 EDT:

Is a correction needed for this?   "Christopher 'The Notori-
ous B.I.G.' Wallace (May 21, 1972 - March 9, 1977)."

Or did Mr. B.I.G. die at age 4?

Yeah, make that death date 1997.  But the mental age was about 4.  – Ed.

A new law would require drivers in the left lane to move over for
speeders. . . .

The 80 per cent male state Senate voted unanimously for a resolu-
tion to replace Andrew Jackson with a woman on the $20 bill (but
it did not say which woman). . . .

State Representative Sheila Klinker of Lafayette pledged to second-
graders in West Lafayette's Cumberland Elementary School that she
would introduce a bill next year to make the firefly  (lightning  bug)
the state insect. . . .

Two adults, a 15-year-old girl and a 10-year-old boy were rescued
from a roller coaster car stuck 70 feet in the air at Indiana Beach a-
musement park in White County.
                                                           [courtesy Columbus Republic]

Five hit-and-run vehicles ran over a man on West 56th Street in In-
dianapolis, killing him.
                                                              [courtesy Indianapolis Star]

   

Most wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Bridget Lee Williams, BF, motor vehicle certification fraud; Andrew Justin Serioslawski, WM, heroin possession; Latasha Latrice Washington, BF, health care fraud (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

"KFC" was spending $185 million on a campaign  to  return  it
to the top of the fast food world (did you know that Applebee's
and Panera make more money,  and that Chick-fil-A sells more
chicken?  Here's a suggestion,  for  free:  Go back to calling the
chain "Kentucky Fried Chicken"). . . .

Pizza Hut  and Taco Bell,  partners of KFC  in Louisville's Yum!
Brands, announced that they would forgo artificial ingredients by
the end of the year ("Less is más").
                                                                          [courtesy Washington Post]

Lexington's most wanted: Jessica Dixon, WF, 32, 5'10", featured fugitive, heroin possession; Jason Edwin Brown, WM, 45, 6'2", 175 lbs; Deborah Perez, HWF, 30, 5'7", 145 lbs, FTA (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

"If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying."
                                                                      – unidentified Barclays Bank executive in either the
                                                                        "Mafia" or "Cartel" chat room on line occupied
                                                                         with five other banks found guilty of rigging rates

"I knew I had to lead these guys; and if they just followed my leadership, I knew I could get them
  to a place where they haven't been before."
                                                                            – LeBron James, less than bashful about his role
                                                                               in helping the Cleveland Cavaliers get to the
                                                                               National Basketball Assn. championship finals

"I'm not the mother of the year."
                                                                – Donna  Scrivo,  convicted of murdering her 32-year-
                                                                   old son, dismembering his body and leaving its parts
                                                                   in her bathtub in St. Clair Shores, Michigan

"Flonase:  Six is greater than one" ("6>1").

"I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation
  if He didn't."
                          €“– Jules Renard

Desert Storm lookalikes: Sabawi Ibrahim Hasan Al-Tikriti, Presidential Advisor; Freddie Mercury

                    

Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Brittany Rice, WF, 28, 5'2", 130 lbs, wanted again for parole violation on a meth conviction (and for dealing in firewater) (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

A man was arrested in Missoula,  Montana,  for  pimping
his German shepherd out to women on Craigslist.  . . . A
prostitute's pet lamb was seized from a brothel in Munich,
Germany. . . . Bikers firing squirt guns and heaving water
balloons (bicyclers, not motorcyclers) attacked two "Ped-
alPubs" (small bars on wheels) occupied by off-duty cops
in downtown Minneapolis, Minnesota. . . . A Russian wo-
man shot herself in the head taking a "selfie"  (apparently
there's an app for that). . . .Women not wearing high heels
were turned away from the red carpet screening  of  Cate
Blanchett'snew film, Carol, at Cannes, Frances. . . . NAS-
CAR wives and girl friends hit the dirt in a 50-yard High
Heel Dash at Charlotte,  Viriginia. .  .  . Double rainbows
appeared over Dublin after the Irish voted  for  same  sex
marriage. . . . An  egg  shortage  developed after farmers
killed 38.9 million chickens and turkeys in a Midwestern
outbreak of avian flu. . . . A Welshwoman said her chick-
ens began laying double eggs after she played them Mo-
torhead's heavy metal music.  .  .  .  An escaped cow was
trailed by six police marksmen and a helicopter and shot
and killed "for public safety" in Wallsend, England. . . .
A burglar who fell asleep on his prey's couch was arres-
ted in Sarasota, Florida. . . . An English university team
sociopsychoanalyzed Clutterbook Facebook users. . . .
Two  carloads  of  teen-age  girls  rumbled in Nashville,
Tennessee,  and two girls were shot, one fatally. . . . Fe-
male infidelity was blamed on a gene.

                                      [courtesy Harper's, Snopes, AP]

Seven  excutives  of  the Fédération Internationale de
Football Association ("FIFA" – the soccer guys) were
arrested in Zurich, Switzerland, on 14 indictments ob-
tained by the U.S.'  FBI  in  Brooklyn  on  charges  of
$150,000,000 in bribes and kickbacks for selling tour-
nament venues, broadcast rights and merchandizing. . . .

The 500 Mile Race was not on TV in Indianapolis. . . .

I'm 91 years old and would like to be able to cry at a death
or a funeral or even a wedding. What  is  wrong  with  me?
Others remark on it, and that hurts.
                                                               Dry Eyes in Paducah

Hollywood's meanest stars: Ellen DeGeneres, no eye contact; George Clooney, tyrant; Martha Stewart, makes 'em cry; J-Lo, no talking allowed; Barbara Walter, Attila the Hen; Sharon Stone, bans Bible; Barbra Streisand, stingy slave driver; Brad & Angie, dirty undies everywhere; Mariah Carey, tantrum tosser; Madonna, macrobiotic maniac (National Examiner)

St. Mary-of-the-Woods College  northwest  of Terre Haute,  the
nation's oldest Catholic liberal arts college for girls, decided to
admit males for the first time in its 175-year history. . . .

Sixteen new electronic signs on the state's interstate highways
now show estimated travel times to various locations. . . .

The Department of Child Services reported  that  49  children
died of abuse or neglect in the last told fiscal year. . . .

A judge in South Bend rejected a Rastafarian defense claimed
by a marijuana grower.

                                                        [courtesy Columbus Republic]

The monthly tabloid Funny Times made fun of Indiana in two car-
toons and an article in its June issue  (but  Ted  Cruz  got  a  whole
page  to  himself,  with four cartoons an an article).

Indiana's most wanted: Leonard Flannery, WM, 61, 5'10", 160 lbs, Seymour; Robert Valentine, WM, 45, 5'3", 130 lbs, Indianapolis; Sandy Calhoun, WF, 28, 5'2", 150 lbs, Elkhart, captured; Bill Scott, WM, 60, 5'9", 160 lbs, Indianapolis; Jerry Sargent, WM, 65, 6'5", 210 lbs, Dry Ridge, Ky. (Indiana Department of Correction)

"Flushable" wipes were clogging Louisville's sewers  (not  to
mention those in London, New York, California, Hawaii, Chi-
cago and Cincinnati).
                                                        [courtesy Courier-Journal]

Sarah Palin called off this weekend's wedding of her 24-year-
old  daughter,  Bristol,  to Kentucky's medal of honor winner,
Dakota Meyer 26.
                                                                            [courtesy CBS]

A man inspecting his late mother's burial plot, next to his fath-
er's in Evergreen Cemetery in Louisville, discovered that an 8-
year-old child already was buried there  (the  cemetery  agreed
to proper reburials,  at its expense).
                                                                   [courtesy WHAS-TV]

12.7 per cent of the state's registered voters showed up  for  a
primary election to nominate two dolts for Governor. . . .

Lexington's most wanted: Tied for Hot Jailhouse Mama of the week: Jacquelyn Johnson, BF, 55, 5'7", 190 lbs, Meshell Spender, WF, 31, 5'9", 220 lbs; Jailhouse Hottie of the week: Krystal Copeland, BF, 33, 5'6", 160 lbs (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

"It was like being in the dryer."
                                                      – Carol Cissel, a passenger on the Philadelphia train derailment

"I am not saying . . . this accident happened because he was gay, but I do think it's an
  interesting part of the story."
                                                      – Fox News' Sandy Rios, on the derailed engineer

"We are glad that he is white."
                                                     – Sheriff Ed Mattingly, of Nelson County, Kentucky, on the (nonfatal)
                                                        shooting of John Kennedy Fenwick, 25, who led police on a miles-
                                                        long pursuit in a stolen truck, leaving mangled cruisers behind

"Farmers Insurance:  Know the gaps."

Quotations of the Wheat (the athorism of the week): "Atheists are the most courageous people I know:  They're not afraid to   burn in hell." – Leonard Simon

A "smart plate" (SmartPlate) know what you're eating and tells you when
you've had enough.

Desert Storm lookalikes: 8 spades, Tariq Aziz, Deputy Prime Minister, RCC member; Henry Kissinger

                           

  

Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Crystal Barber, WF, 36, 5'3", 130 lbs, featured wanted person on KRCB TV's Wheel of Misfortune last week, is wanted again for parole violation on a meth conviction (Abilene Crimer Stoppers)

A college student fought off a shark with his fists  at  Co-
coa Beach Florida. . . . Charges on which Mohamed Mor-
si was sentenced to death included stealing chickens.  . . .
A Singapore teen-ager who posted a  blog  image  of Lee
Kuan Yew having sex with Margaret Thatcher  was  con-
victed of obscenity. . . . A 34-year-old Oklahoman killed
his 58-year-old stepfather with a wedgie. . . .A Jordanian
woman discovered a cell phone left in her abdomen  in  a
Cesarean section after her belly began vibrating. . . ."Self-
ie sticks" were banned at Disney World. . . .  A teacher in
Jeongeup, South Korea,  chewed up and swallowed a live
hamster in class to teach his pupils "how dear life is."

                                            [courtesy Harper's, Snopes, AP]

(Some of the) bikers arrested in Waco (Tarrant County, Texas, Sheriff and Fort Worth Star-Telegram)

Evander Holyfield beat Mitt Romney in two rounds in a charity
boxing match in Salt Lake City. . . .

Amireca's Missplet Whorse will try for the Triple Crown  this
Saturday ad the Blemont Steaks (or, as Harper's put it, "A colt
named American Pharoah  [sic],  the son of Pioneerof the Nile
[sic], beat out Tale of Verve and Divining Rod to win the Preak-
ness Stakes in Baltimore"). . . .

My best friend, "Clara," and I have known each other for
30 years.  We're  both  retired  and live in the same town.
Neither of us has a husband. We talk on the phone every
day.  Or, that is, we did.

We get along fine, except we have never been able to talk
politics.  If I don't agree with her completely,  Clara  gets
angry.  I'm not allowed to have my own opinion.   It's her
way or the highway.  Every time she gets mad at me, I'm
the one to pick up the phone and call her as though we've
never argued.

Last month we got into a heated discussion about world
problems, and we both hung up angry.  I called Clara la-
ter,  but no one answered;  and she didn't call me back as
she always does.  This went on for two weeks; so I wrote
her a letter saying how sorry I was  but that I am entitled
to my opinion,  the same as anyone else.   I also said our
friendship is too important to let a silly argument  end  it.
I haven't heard back.

Clara and I were the kind of friends who told each other
everything, and I thought we had each other's back.  Her
friendship meant everything to me.  But  am  I supposed
to lie and say I think the same way she does just to keep
the peace?  She claims to be religious,  but how can she
not forgive something like this?  I really miss my friend.

                                                            Need Some Advice

Stephen Yates wrote Sun 5/10/15 @07:12 CDT:

That first unidentified arrestee in last week's Arrested
in Abilene sure looks a lot like the  Carissa  Starks  in
your March 15 issue.  Has  Abilene  lost  track  of  its
own  hotties?   And  how  and  when  did  she lose 40
pounds?

South Bend's most wanted: Shaina Hunter, WF, 5'2", 110 lbs, possession of cocaine, FTA; Darrell Duncan, WM, 34, 6'0", 160 lbs, parole violation, wearing mask out of Halloween season; Janel Granderson, BF, 5'6", 190 lbs, Theft; Jeffrey Michael Skoda,* WM, assault by strangulation, domestic violence; Jenna Marie Baker, WF, failure to pay child support; * "Skoda" us Polish for "What a pity!" – or, as the Polish wife of our editor rhymes the definition, "Skoda – govno i woda" ("shit and water") (courtesy Michiana Crime Stoppers)

The state's newest dumb slogan,  "Honest to goodness Indiana,"
was under new attack – not from fundangelicals arguing  that  it
deflated "Honest to God" (how 'bout: "Not for Christians"?) but
from  LGBTQ's  finding it a bit dishonest  in the recent flap over
RFRA (the "Religious Freedom Restoration Act" and by tourism
promoters finding it a bit too hicky  (remember "Wander Indian-
a"? "Amber waves of" corn?). . . .

The state Supreme Court reversed a Marion County judge who
called feuding parents "knuckleheads" and placed their 13-year
daughter with child services. . . .

A bar in South Bend that bars headbands, bandanas, and visible
tattoos above the neckline and requires loose neck jewelry to be
tucked in  and  ball  caps  to be worn straight forward or straight
back was  not sued  by the American Civil Liberties Union in be-
half of a martial arts instructor not let in with a tattoo on his neck
with a small cross and the words "Lord watch over me."

                                                         [courtesy Columbus Republic]

An article in the Louisville Courier-Journal headlined "BINGE
DRINKING RISES IN KY., IND." was bylined "Bailey Loose-
more."

Rand Paul's New Hampshire campaign director licked the camera
lens of a left-leaning political action committee videographer. . . .

A landfill in Boyd County takes in trash hauled on trains from New
York, New Jersey and other foreign lands;  and residents were noti-
cing the odor.
                                                                 [courtesy Courier-Journal]

Fifty students, the driver and the monitor escaped a school bus
that caught on fire in Lawrence County. . . .

A 7-year-old girl's backpack got caught in the door of a Louisville
school bus and the bus  dragged  her  more than 1,000 feet down
the street (there's video!). . . .

A man stealing copper from an idle coal mine in Martin County
was electrocuted when he touched a live wire.
                                                                             [courtesy WKYT]

"I'm not sure the artist meant it to count, but I'm grateful."

 –€“ British Member of Parliament Glyn Davies, who won re-election from Wales on a minority
    of votes, including a ballot on which the voter had drawn a penis in the box next to his name

"Snake pee is worse than the smell of any public toilet."

    – snake handler David Walton, who recovered a 16-foot python from the ceiling of a couple
       in Cairns, Australia, who complained of an odor and liquid dropping from their ceiling

"The tickets are solid gold. . . . It was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to
  sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space."
                                                                                                             – Tito Watts

"Android:  Be together.  Not the same."

Quotations of the Wheat: "I'm not prejudiced; I've hired black whores." – Leonard Simon

"People are killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend."
                                                                                                                               – Richard Jeni

                      DeShanda Renée "Blondie" Windom, 37

Desert Storm lookalikes: Tahir Jalil Habbush Al-Tikriti, Iraqi Intelligence Service (IIS); Eric Holder

Seniors at Arkansas City High in Kansas offered their
school for sale  on  Craigslist,  saying they don't need
the building any more but need the money for college.
.  .  .  A 59-year-old American woman sued a British
clinic for custody of her late daughter's  eggs,  hoping
to become pregnant with her own granddaughter. . . .
An off-duty county police officer bit a rival in the balls
in a Cinco de Mayo brawl over a woman  at  a  bar  in
Baltimore. . . . Residents of Tuttle, Oklahoma, huddled
indoors after officials warned (falsely) that tigers had e-
scaped a safari park in a tornado. . . . Pope Jorge called
Mahmoud Abbas an "angel of peace."

                                      [courtesy Harper's, Snopes, AP]

Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Kara Jennings, WF, 53, 5'7", 140 lbs, assault on a public servant; Robert Best, WM, 20, 6'0", 255 lbs, sexual assault on a child; Chartecia Gillum, BF, 22, 5'2", 125 lbs, aggravated robbery; Chanse Anders, WM, 37, 5'9", 155 lbs, indecency with a child; Jacqueline Martinez, HF, 38, 5'2", 115 lbs, possession of meth and firewater with intent to deliver (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

New England Patriots quarterback  Tom  Brady  was suspend-
ed for four games for using illegally deflated footballs  in  last
year's AFC championship game against the Indianapolis Colts
(he was not required to give up his Super Bowl ring; the team
was not required to forfeit the AFC trophy or the Super Bowl,
and no investigation was made into  whether  Brady  beat  his
wife or whipped his children).

I have seen my sister gradually change from a simple pack
rat into a full-on hoarder. When I mention my concerns to
her, she gets defensive and tells me it's OK, that that is just
how we live now.

I am especially worried about her children growing up in clut-
ter and filth; but to further complicate issues, my sister recent-
ly acquired a puppy,  and she allows him to do his business all
over the house.
                                                                                   Worried Sis

Henry Velenosi wrote Sun 5/3/15 @16:45 PDT:

State Farm's slogan, "Get  to a better state," is as stupid in Califor-
nia as it is in Indiana and Kentucky.

But, then, doesn't that mean it is dumber in California?  Because Califor-
nia is a smart state, and Indiana and Kentucky are dumb?    – Editor

Stephen Yates wrote Sun 5/3/15 @10:43 CDT:

I have applied for citizenship in Liberland, the new "microstate" be-
tween Serbia and Croatia.  Here's a link if you care to join me:

Free Republic of Liberland

A 27-year-old man with a blood/alcohol content of 0.445 per cent
driving a lawn mower on an Evansville street with his daughter on
his lap and a 50-year-old woman on board was arrested for DUI. . . .

A petition circulating as far away as England protested hog wrest-
ling, as cruelty to animals, at the Delaware County Fair in Muncie. . . .

Pupils in Maggie Samudio's second grade class at Cumberland El-
ementary School in West Lafayette sent postcards to  three  state
legislators urging them to make the firefly the state insect (we used
to call 'em lightning bugs – Editor).
                                                          [courtesy Columbus Republic]

Donna Murphy, BF, 5'7", 160 lbs, theft; Eileen Cora Smar, WF, uttering & publishing; Latavia Rashan Buchanan, assault with a dangerous weapon (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

State police shot and killed a ranting white man in Perry County.

                                                                              [courtesy WTVQ]

A pizza man making a delivery to a hospital in Louisville was stab-
bed in the back in the parking lot but managed to deliver the pizza
and himself to the emergency room.
                                                                                [courtesy WLKY]

An Amish father and son were convicted by a jury in Logan County
of failing to have their horses equipped with shit bags  as they drove
their buggies through the town of Auburn  (that's  pronounced  "Or-
bin," by the way).  The father, Amos Mast, said that whether he will
pay the fine is "up to God . . . and my conscience."

                                                                            [courtesy WKYU-FM]

The Who canceled concerts in Louisville and in St. Louis and Kan-
sas City, Missouri,  to give Roger Daltrey a chance to get his voice
back.
                                                            [courtesy the Courier-Journal]

"This isn't the way you want to make history."
                                                                            – Baltimore Orioles first baseman Chris Davis,
                                                                               as the Orioles and the Chicago White Sox
                                                                               played a baseball game to 45,971 empty seats

"That the Courier-Journal is publishing this garbage is a reflection on them, not me. They should
  be ashamed of this Rolling Stone style journalism.  .  .  .  This is the worst political dirty trick in
  Kentucky history."

          – Kentucky Agriculture Commissioner James Comer, a Republican candidate for gov-
              ernor, threatening to sue the Louisville Courier-Journal for publishing a letter from
              his college girl friend accusing him of abuse and of driving her to an abortion clinic
              (the woman then challenged him to a lie detector test)

"I'm glad it didn't stop."
                                        – Rand Paul, after his train passed through Baltimore

"People misinterpreted me."
                                                – Rand Paul

"Tampax:  Power over periods"  (take that, grammar Nazis!).

Quotations of the Wheat: "The best way to raise children these days is 'free range'." – Leonard Simon

"There's an invisible man living in the sky who  watches  everything  you  do,  every
  minute of every day.  And he has a list of ten things he does  not  want  you  to  do;
  and if you do any of these things he has a special place full of fire  and smoke  and
  burning and torture and anguish where he will send you to live and suffer and burn
  and choke and scream and cry forever and ever until the end of time. But he loves
  you."
                     €“ – George Carlin

                     

A 91-year-old woman in Saguenay, Quebec,  got  a  tick-
et for noise after downstairs neighbors complained about
her creaky rocking chair. . . .A man's amputated leg, with
his name on it,  turned up at a waste treatment facility  in
Coral Gables, Florida, and triggered a police investigation
for foul play. . . . Doctors in Mumbai fed a man 60 banan-
as to induce  the  excretion  of a stolen gold necklace. . . .
Vanuatu was selling citizenship for $162,000 but so far had
no takers. . . . Chinese realtors were paying Westerners to
hang around neighborhoods to drive up home values. . . .
Cows topped internet searches in South Africa. . . . Mrs. T,
a 90-year-old tortoise in Wales, was outfitted with a two-
wheel walker after a rat chewed her front legs off. . . . Po-
ice in Clare County,  Michigan,  arrested a  naked  woman
driving the wrong way on U.S. 127, for DUI, after she left
her naked husband and their child at a rest stop. . . . A man
who handed a bank teller in Virginia Beach, Virginia,  a note
asking for $150,000, "please," and recorded the incident on
his  cell  phone  and posted videos and photo of the note on
Instagram,  denied committing a crime when arrested (it was
a "gift"). . . . A McDonald's in Cambridge, England, was tes-
ting customers with a  breathalyzer  before allowing them to
enter.
                                          [courtesy Harper's, Snopes, AP]

I have been married twice.  My first marriage lasted 20
years, the second one about four years.

During my first marriage I started cheating seven months
after our wedding.  My wife knew about some of the af-
fairs and stuck with me anyway. I finally felt so guilty for
hurting her emotionally,  I called it quits  and married the
last woman I cheated on her with.

My second marriage was in many ways better. I was able
to remain faithful for more than three years before cheating
again. I feel terrible that I have hurt another woman I loved,
but I have now fallen in love with the  woman  I'm  cheating
with.

It's like I'm in a perpetual cycle and don't know how to stop.
I want this relationship to be my last one. I  want  to  remain
faithful  and  committed,  but I'm scared to death  I'll  end up
cheating on her and let us both down.

I'm not proud of how I treated my exes, but I can't change the
past.  How do I change this pattern of behavior so that  I  can
be a faithful and devoted partner?
                                                                Cheater in Michigan

              

Fatima Abu-diab, 20, of Louisville, Ky., was arrested, along with her brother 18, and her lover, 19, in the shooting death and robbery of a Canadian tourist walking back to his hotel from the Kentucky Derby in Louisville last weekend

 

Wanted in Hopkins County, Kentucky, but believed to be in Hammond, Ind.: Miranda Marts, WF, 28, 5'2", 100 lbs, FTA; Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Bresean Une Echols, BF, fraud, false pretenses; Emily Amber Bacheller, WF, illegal use of credit cards (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A company engaged by Verizon to plug a  gap  in  cell
phone service sued Zanesville for not granting it a zo-
ning variance for construction of a tower beside a chil-
dren's playground and batting cage.

                                       [courtesy Columbus Republic]

An Indianapolis woman initially diagnosed with a brain
tumor was found instead to be carrying her twin sister's
embryo.
                                            [courtesy Washington Post]

"They should look at their own past."
                                                               €“– Yalcin Akdogan, Deputy Prime Minister of Turkey,
                                                                   criticizing Russia's Vladimir Putin's participation
                                                                   in a commemoration of the Armenian genocide

"State Farm:  Get to a better state"  (we have not heard this broadcast anywhere besides
 Indiana and Kentucky    – Ed.).

Quotations of the Wheat: "My wife said I needed to relate more to her family – so   I seduced her sister." – Leonard Simon

"I could prove God statistically."
                                                         – George Gallup

                     

                     

A 7-square-mile "microstate" was established (maybe)
between Serbia and Croatia,  with an economy based
on a digital cryptocurrency, a national anthem compos-
ed by a "straight-edge rapper," an Egyptian plumber, a
German  data  management  professional,  and  Czech
founding fathers. . . . Two Australians,  four Nigerians,
a Brazilian, a Filipino and an Indonesian  convicted  of
drug crimes were scheduled together for a firing squad
in Java.  . . .  A robot seized by Swiss police for buying
10 ecstasy pills on line was cleared of charges.  .  .  . A
man was arrested for using a drone to carry radioactive
sand from the Fukushima nuclear meltdown to the roof
of the prime minister's office  in  Japan. . . . A  father  in
Knoxville, Tennessee, instead of walking his 8-year-old
daughter to school,  used a drone to follow her. . . . Tat-
toos were found to affect the functioning of the new Ap-
ple Watch. . . . A business professor at Texas A&M Uni-
versity at Galveston flunked an entire class for cheating,
disrespect, lying, rudeness and rumor mongering.

                                         [courtesy Harper's, Snopes, AP]

The Baltimore Orioles' baseball games with the visiting
Chicago White Sox were canceled  Monday  and Tues-
day nights because of the riots in Baltimore. They went
ahead with Wednesday afternoon's scheduled  game  in
Camden Yards,  but they didn't let the fans in.

MLB.com ("MLB" stands for "major league baseball –
or at least that's what they want you to think)  said  the
game would "be available on MLB.TV and . . . televis-
ed locally."  We don't know about locally, as our rabbit
ears do not pull in Baltimore;  but the MLB.TV remark
was a bit of a stretch.   It was not on the MLB channel
you get in basic cable and satellite packages; it was on
a special channel you get only by purchasing a package
giving you all major league games.

Baltimore won 8-2. . . .

Floyd Mayweather won a "fight of the century" that was
not entirely on pay-per-view, let alone not on TV. . . .

The misspelt hoers won the Kentucky Dreby.

I believe my sister's husband, "Roy,"  is having an affair.
He and I have been flirting for several years, and we've
had several opportunities; but because of my sister, we
never have "cashed in."

My sister's marriage has been troubled for years.  They
live together,  but in separate rooms. They haven't been
intimate for ages.  My sister also has some health issues.
Roy has said many times the two of them should be able
to see other people.  Recently I saw Roy with a younger
woman; and the way they were looking at each other,  I
knew they were more than friends.  He has never looked
at my sister that way.

We do a lot of things together as a family.  During a recent
family weekend, Roy kept taking off alone.  I believe Roy
knows I'm aware of his affair  although  he hasn't said any-
thing.  I think my sister already knows and  is  hurting. She
barely speaks to Roy and spends most of her time with her
grandchildren. They both act as though nothing has happen-
ed.

Roy has cheated before. I don't want my sister to be hurt a-
gain, but I also don't want to make things awkward between
the two of us.  What do I do?
                                                                            Hurting, Too

Congratulations! It has all the characteristics of a boy! Glenn McCoy