ISIS (ISIL? IS?) smuggling A-bomb into America, blame Obama (Globe); Natalie Wood's body exhumed (Enquirer); Desperate Austin residents surrounded by Texas (Borowitz Report)

Publius Leget wrote Sun 6/21/15 @08:20 CDT:

What are "button-ups"?  Get with it, dude!

Well, yes, even the curmudgeons at Tabloid Headlines are a-
ware  of  Button Ups.  But those were a 1980's fashion state-
ment, not exactly "basic clothes."    – Editor

Blenster wrote Sun 6/21/15 @09:57 EDT:

Short sleeved buttoned shirt seems to be the answer.

There are some long sleeves in that collection you  linked  to.
Anyway, doesn't "button up" or "button down" depend more
on  wearer  usage  than  fashion?  And what is the penalty for
buttoning down a Button Up?  Beware the Thought Police.  – Ed.

and Blenster wrote back @11:30 EDT:

Honestly I don't pay much attention to fashion.  Maybe
those things are making a comeback.

We don't pay much attention,  either;  but this thing is getting
funnier by the message.  We kinda doubt that  "Button  Ups"
are making a comeback, though; we're not sure they made it
in the first place.  Who was the first on your block?    – Ed.

Four persons were arrested for distributing Opana, the latest
painkiller  of  fashion,  believed to be at the heart of the rural
epidemic of AIDS in Scott County. . . .

Carol Mooney announced her retirement as president of  St.
Mary's College, a Catholic liberal arts school in South Bend
previously  for  women  only  (not  to  be  confused  with St.
Mary-of-the-Woods College,  a  Catholic liberal arts school
near Terre Haute previously for women only). . . .

Brian Slodysko, 33, native of Bellingham, Washington, and
veteran  of  the Seattle Post-Intelligencer,  the Chicago Sun-
Times, the Chicago Tribune and the Associated Press in Ba-
ton Rouge, Louisiana,  was named AP Indiana state govern-
ment and political reporter.
                                           [courtesy Columbus Republic]

South Bend's most wanted: Jennifer Scott, WF, 5'8", 150 lbs, theft: Rex Stickler, WM, 6'2", 150 lbs, meth; Holly Nivens, WF, 5'7", 130 lbs, violation of a court order; Skee Katlun, WM, 6'2", 175 lbs, violation of a court order; Bobbie Toler, WF, 5'0", 125 lbs, violation of a court order and possession of drug precursors (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A naked man poured milk on himself and streaked through a
Wal-Mart in Pike County (there's video, but it's been bleeped
since it was removed from YouTube).
                                                                      [courtesy WYMT]

 

Lexington's most wanted: Chloe Utterback, WF, 23; Gerald Sealy, WM, 49, 5'10", 200 lbs; Taylor Courtney, WF, 33, 5'9", 155 lbs; all charged with mobery in various degrees (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

Jefferson Davis was on his way out of the State Capitol. . . .

A woman found an alligator in her back-yard pond in Nicholas-
ville.
                                             [courtesy Lexington Herald-Leader]

"If you're black, you got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but
  molested you."
                                 – Chris Rock

"It's perjury, plain and simple, and my client wants swift justice.  If some gang of genocidal madmen
  called itself Barry Manilow, I'm sure the singer wouldn't be pleased either."

                                                                – Paul Grasso,  lawyer for the comic/TV superheroine Isis,
                                                                   who sued ISIS for defamation and trademark infringement

"The Earth, our home, is beginning to look more and more like an immense
  pile of filth."
                                – Pope Jorge

"You're sort of lost that someone would walk into a Bible study at a church
  and indiscriminately kill people."
                                                                – Rick Santorum

"I don't know what was on the mind or the heart of the man who committed
  these atrocious crimes."
                                                – "Jeb" Bush

"I just think he was one of these whacked-out kids.  I don't think it's anything
  broader than that."
                                        – Lindsey Graham

"Any time there is an accident like this, the President is clear:  He doesn't like
  for Americans to have guns, and so he uses every opportunity, this being an-
  other one, to basically go parrot that message."
                                                                                            – Rick Perry

"Laws can't change this; only the good will and love of the American people
  can let those folks know that act is unacceptable."
                                                                                                        – Chris Christie

police line do not cross "Catholics not allowed?"

Quotations of the Wheat: "Every foot's got a big toe, and, Keith, I'll be the Big Toe!" – Leonard Simon

"I was raised atheist.  We prayed for nothing.  And all our prayers were answered."
                                                                                                                                            – Heidi Joyce

Desert Storm lookalikes: Thomas L. Friedman, N.Y. Times; Barzan ibrahim Hasan Al-Tikriti, Presidential Advisor

                    June 22
                        Cyndi Lauper, 62
                        Meryl Streep, 66
                        Lindsay Wagner, 66
                    June 23
                        Diana Trask, 75
                    June 24
                        Kim Polson, 29
                        Albert Porter Duncan (1880-1953)
                    June 25
                        Mckenna Grace, 9
                        Carly Simon, 70
                       

Khloe Kardashian, 31
                    June 28
                        Kellie Pickler, 29
                       

Japan planned to resume  hunting whales  in the Antarc-
tic Ocean. . . . At least 102 persons died from drinking
bad bootleg hooch in  Mumbai  (the "city formerly call-
ed Bombay"), India. . . . North Korea announced  the
development of a gold-and-platinum-laced vaccine for
MERS, SARS, AIDS and Ebola. . . . An estimated 10,-
000 dogs will be slaughtered for Yulin,  China's,  annu-
al dog meat festival. . . . A German circus worker was
fired for slapping an elephant with a stick. . . .Sales of
Confederate flags jumped 3,600 per cent or more  on
Amazon.com before it canceled the items  (E-Bay, K-
Mart, Wal-Mart and Sears also announced disconntin-
uances).  .  .  .  A  burglar  left his wallet behind in Lin-
colnton,  North  Carolina,  with  full  identification  (he
was arrested). . . . A neighbor of two loud lovemaking
neighbors in Untersiggenthal,  Switzerland,  complain-
ed that  children  were taking "Oh, God!  I'm coming!"
for  prayer  and  that  elders  were taking it for suicide.
.  .  .  A bent truck work of art got a  parking  ticket  in
Karlsruhe, Germany.
                                    [courtesy Harper's, Snopes, AP]

I have been having an affair with a married man  for  eight
years.  At first both of us were married,  but  my  husband
died two years ago. Since then my lover and I have grown
closer, but he won't leave his wife (they have children).

I cannot go on living this way.  He doesn't want me to see
other people. Every time I try to end it, he talks me out of
it and makes me feel guilty for trying.  I need help, please.

                                                      Messed Up in Minnesota

White House aide reveals Clinton dementia, can't remember being President; Bush brothers hate each other, what 'Jeb' and 'W' are hiding from America; 'You're not man enough for me,' Camilla dumps Charles (all Globe); Kate & William moving to America, renting estate in the Hamptons, Paul McCartney, Steven Spielberg will be neighbors (OK); What the truck? Traveling kitchen (Courier-Journal)

Keith Durbin wrote Sun 6/14/15 @10:15 CDT:

So I have put up with your terrible rumblings for several
weeks now just to get to "Quotations of the Wheat." I've
gone through this week's paper countless times  only  to
be disappointed.  There is no  Wheat  to be found.  Is he
on strike?  Has  he  run out of clever little sayings?  Are
you cutting corners,  thereby cutting Wheat's salary?  I
would say double his salary, but I am afraid that would
only result in the Wheat's receiving the same amount. I
am putting you on notice that the Falcon  is  boycotting
your publication until the Wheat spreads his misguided
words of wisdom back across your Sunday paper!

Ted Fiskevold wrote Sat 6/20/15 @07:36 CDT:

This (the Charleston massacre)  is what happens when pa-
rents are so unaware of why there is a rash on a new name
that they don't know how to spell it  (Dylann).  I mean,  if
you had a 3L name – like  Billl – the odds of being a mass
murderer would have to intensify.

Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Andrea Tonea Butler-Brown, BF, armed robbery; Tara Michelle Lechenet, WF, a/k/a Butch Mullett, no account check (a/k/a "no count chick"); Alicia Timece Butler-Brown, BF, armed robbery (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

The Cedar Ford Covered Bridge, dismantled in Shelby Coun-
ty in 1975, will be rebuilt in Monroe County. . . .

A man on a mo-ped outran the police in Bowling Green.

                                       [courtesy Park City Daily News]

Louisville is the scene of the latest white-on-black fatal po-
lice shooting (there's video).
                                                   [courtesy Courier-Journal]

"If they get away, they will be destroyed, no questions asked."

                                                – Auckland, New Zealand, Zoo security coordinator Niki Walker

"There's no way drugs can influence music in a bad way."
                                                                                                    – Brian Wilson
"Privacy is dead."
                                    – Robert Scobie

"There was no chance that Vesey was going to survive this alive."
                                                                                                                – historian Douglas Egerton

"Gap provides basic clothes – jeans, T-shirts, button-ups . . . ."

                    – Nathan Rott, National Public Radio ("button-ups"?  what are button-ups?)

"Staples:  Make more happen."

"When I was a kid I prayed every night for a bicycle.  Never got one; so I stole one.
  Then I asked the Lord to forgive me, and the priest said He did."
                                                                                                                – Emo Philips

                       

Desert Storm lookalikes: Sultan Hashim Ahmad Al-Tai, Minister of Defense; Guilermo Rodriguez

Federal Reserve Chairwoman Janet Yellen and the dumb radio or TV news hen of
your choice  (try Louise Schiavone, for starters).

Dozens of animals, including one hippopotamus,  es-
caped from the zoo in Tblisi, Georgia, Europe,  when
a flood destroyed their enclosures (the hippo was sub-
dued with a tranquilizer gun,  but  20 wolves,  8 lions,
and a number of tigers, jaguars, jackals and penguins
were killed). . . . An  elephant  escaped  from a circus
in  Heidelberg,  Germany,  and  killed  a  65-year-old
man walking in the woods. .  .  . Zoos  in  Wellington
and Auckland,  New Zealand,  had sharpshooters en-
gaged and "shoot to kill" orders  in the event of mass
escape (chimpanzees were first on the list,  lions and
tigers, second). .  .  . The exchange rate between U.S.
and Zimbabwean dollars reached 1:35,000,000,000,-
000,000. . . . A British winner of the Nobel prize for
medicine was forced to resign his university post for
calling girls "disruptive" to science. . . . Prizes awar-
ded in a women's underarm hair competition in Chi-
na included condoms,  a vibrator,  and a device to as-
sist women to urinate standing up. . . . Police in Seat-
tle arrested five "Raging Grannies"  chained together
in rocking chairs on train tracks  to  protest  offshore
oil drilling. . . . It was revealed that  Rachel  Dolezal
once sued Howard University for  discriminating  a-
gainst her because she was white. . . .  Wilma  Man-
killer  will not be replacing Andrew Jackson  on  the
$20  bill,  but a woman yet to be named will replace
Alexander  Hamilton  on the 10 in 2020,  the  100th
anniversary of women's suffrage in the U.S.,  Treas-
ury Secretary Jack Lew announced.

                                                [courtesy Harper's, AP]

"Caitlyn" Jenner will get this year's ESPY (ESPN)  Arthur
Ashe Courage Award. . . .

We  saw  an article on the internet about Michael Phelps at-
tempting a comeback (perhaps he should just try to become
a woman). . . .

Major league baseball's St. Louis Cardinals were  under  in-
vestigation by the FBI for hacking the Houston Astros' data
base.

Thirty years ago, when I was 11, I got into an argument on the
school bus with a black kid my age.   I was an insecure child,
and I was losing the argument and feeling humiliated. Trying
to regain some power, I called the other kid a racist epithet.  I
felt sick immediately.  It was the only time,  before  or  since,
I ever did anything like that.

I have thought about that moment hundreds of times over the
years and consider it one of my lowest, most shameful actions.
Thinking about it has made me aware of inherent racial biases
I was raised with, and I have actively tried to address these.

Recently,  through a mutual friend,  I became aware that the
target of my word is reachable through social media.  Can I
apologize this late?
                                                                        Trying My Best

Mariah suicidal and insane (Enquirer); Michelle's secret face lift (paid for by you the taxpayer (Enquirer); New ISIS [ISIL, IS] terror, airliners used as chemical bombs, major U.S. airports on alert (Globe); Good-bye Bruce, hello Caitlyn (People); Bruce's gay lover revealed (Enquirer); Amphibious pitcher makes debut (Pendleton East Oregonian; they meant ambidextrous)

In all the consternation over the sex change  (it's not just "gender,"
folks)  of Bruce Jenner  to Caitlyn Jenner,  we feel compelled to
remind our readers that  "Caitlyn"  is  not  a  real  name  to begin
with.  We think this is a name invented here in the County.   Cf.
"Lynnette."

Katelyn, Kaitlin, Catelyn, Catelin, Caitlyn, however you spell it,
is either a bastardization  of  "Kathleen"   or  a combination  of
"Kate" – a legitimate nickname  for  Katherine   –  and  "Lynn"
– a  legitimate  name  unto  itself  (it's Anglo-Saxon for "water-
fall") – or both.  As for "Lynnette"?  That's a feminization of a
name that is already feminine.  Duh.

Bruce Mitchell wrote Sun 6/7/15 @11:23 PDT to answer the question

where history ends and nomenclature begins:

Israel.

Stephen Yates wrote Sun 6/7/15 @09:01 CDT: Fuck! My hand is pregnant! Is abortion legal in this case?

While 10-foot banana art was the source of soul searching
in West Lafayette,  butterfly  art  was the rage in St. Mary-
of-the-Woods

[courtesy Lafayette Journal & Courier, Columbus Republic]

The First Church of Cannabis, on Indianapolis' East Side,
will hold its first service July 1 to test the state's new Reli-
gious Freedom Restoration Act. . . .

Wal-Mart 86'd two women who starred in a scuffle video
in its Beech Grove store that went viral  (but the amateur
videographer  needs  barred,  too – or at least a lesson in
how to take pittures).
                                            [courtesy Columbus Republic]

South Bend's most wanted: Danae Evans, WF, 5'4", 120 lbs, meth; Jennifer Boggs, WF, 5'3", 125 lbs, coke; And Berrien County, Michigan's: Rendon Mcclendon Banjoman, BM, tampering with electronic monitoring device; Zynobia Rasheda Murray, BF, sex offender; Whitney Quashell Hogan, BF, assault with intent to do great bodily harm less than murder (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A man was on trial for sexual abuse of a female co-worker
who had passed out  from a heroin and Hydrocodone over-
dose at Fillies Gentleman's Club, a strip joint in Lexington;
and  the  woman's husband sued the man and the strip club
for wrongful death after she died a few days later. . . .

Two men were shot  outside  Diamonds Gentlemen's Club
in Lexington, a strip joint previously known as Fillies Gen-
tleman's Club.
                                                      [courtesy WTVQ, WKYT]

Rappers Father Jah and Wreck D. Mic were shot, the latter
fatally, leaving a performance in Louisville.

                                                                  [courtesy WHAS]

Lexington's most wanted: Karen Thomas, BF, 50, 5'7", 240 lbs; Beverly Watkins, WF, 44, 5'0", 100 lbs; Susan Nevius, WF, 49, 5'6:, 220 lbs, Featured Fugitive of the Week, theft by unlawful taking (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

"Printer cartridges are a 'because fuck you, that's why' thing."
                                                                                                        – Ben Hibben

"I don't understand the question . . . ."
                                                                    – Spokane, Washington's,  white NAACP
                                                                       president, Rachel Dolezal, when asked
                                                                       if she was African-American

"Zillow:  Find your way home."

"An atheist is someone with no invisible means of support."
                                                                                                       €“ €“ – John Buchan

                    

Desert Storm lookalikes: Abid Hamid Mahmud Al-Tikriti, Presidential Secretary; Frank Zappa

Firemen in Walden, New York,  turned their hoses on a
drone flying over a burning house. . . .The London Zoo
canceled Friday night parties after a man  poured  beer
on a tiger. . . . A Game of Thrones TV show editor was
killed by a lion that jumped into her car in  South  Afri-
ca. . . . Dick Cheney told the Wall Street Journal he was
proud to think of himself as Darth Vader.  . . .  A Cleve-
land, Ohio, man who called himself Poopgangsta on In-
fantspam Instagram got 12 years in prison  for  shooting
another man at a bar. . . . A woman in Birmingham, En-
gland,  got two weeks in jail for screaming loud enough
to annoy a neighbor while having sex.  .  .  .  A man was
released from jury duty in St. Johnsbury, Vermont, after
he showed up in convict stripes and beanie. .  .  . People
will get a rupee each time they use public toilets  in  Ah-
medabad, India  (it's a program to discourage doing it in
the road). .  .  . Litigation has swollen 29 per cent in Chi-
na – including  a  suit  by  a TV viewer in Shanghai who
pleaded that an actress' intense stare caused him spiritu-
al damage  –  since a rule barring frivolous lawsuits was
eased.
                                       [courtesy Harper's, Snopes, AP]

 

Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Rebecca Gardner, WF, 33, 5'5", 185 lbs, aggravated assualt, family violence, meth, marijuana and firewater (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

A baseball fan wearing a head-mounted camera managed to video
a selfie of his one-handed, barehanded catch of a foul ball at a mi-
nor league game in Biloxi, Mississippi. . . .

The Indiana high school girls all-star basketball team  scored  63
points in the second half to beat Kentucky, 93-49, at Transylva-
nia University in Lexington; and the Indiana boys made it  13  in
a  row  over  Kentucky. The annual two-meeting series resumes
Saturday in Indianapolis.

I’m a 48-year-old woman.  I have known I was gay since I was
14.  No one knows because I never acted on it until I met "Bob,"
my common-law husband of 25 years.  I fell in love with his sis-
ter, "Janelle,"  back  then.  We kissed a few times and fell deeply
in love; but because we didn't want to hurt Bob, we ended what
we had.

Bob and I raised my son, who is being married this year. Through
all these years my feelings and Janelle's have never changed.  We
love each other and want the chance to be together  that  we  were
denied back then.

I have given Bob 25 faithful years.  I love him, but I am not in love
with him. We are like two ships passing in the night. He has a temp-
er  and  is  vindictive.   I want out of this relationship,  to be with his
sister.  I have asked her to marry me, and she agreed.  We don't want
to hurt Bob, but we love each other.  Please advise me how to tell my
husband I want out and want to be with his sister.
                                                                                               Wants Out

Found, Elvis' secret son, born 8 years before Lisa Marie (Globe); Hillary confesses I'm an alcoholic (Globe); Lindsay Lohan finally off probation (Austin American-Statesman); 'Awesome' stricken from language, 'bro,' 'my bad,' 'that's how I roll' on short list (Funny Times)

Jonell Kerr wrote Sun 5/31/15 @16:40 EDT
from her e-mail address on "outlook.com":

Technology is only cool when it works.  :/

This in response to our attempt to notify all our Hotmail, MSN and "Outlook"
subscribers that transmission of both Tabloid Headlines and "Your Sunday pa-
per in a plain brown wrapper" to them failed last week.  What we regard as e-
ven uncooler than not working is robotic censorship. . . .    – Editor

A Tabloid Headlines editorial: Won't this guy need a hairdresser if and when he decides to run for President? Or at least a comb . . . . John Ellis "Jeb" Bush on Face the Nation

One school bus rear-ended another on the west side of Indianap-
olis, sending eight pupils to the hospital. . . .

A 22-year-old man was killed in a head-on collision as he drove
around a barricade on a closed highway near Modoc. . . .

A 300-pound bronze statue of Eve was  sawed  off  at  the  feet
and taken from Indiana University's Arboretum (she was found
later at a construction site in Bloomington). . . .

Two hundred alumnae of St. Mary-of-the-Woods College met
in protest of the school's decision to admit men. . . .

The Hoosier Lottery introduced a "Bringin' Home the Bacon"
game with  bacon-scented  tickets  that will pay a top prize of
$10,000 and five secondary prizes of a 20 years' supply of ba-
con. . . .

Tippecanoe County offered a one-day amnesty to thousands of
persons wanted for failure to appear in court.

                                                     [courtesy Columbus Republic]

South Bend's most wanted: Lisa Miller, WF, 5'6", 170 lbs, dealing meth & firewater, common nuisance; Terrell Carter, BM, 6'5", 185 lbs, theft, criminal mischief; Tashara Harrison, BF, 5'6", 240 lbs (Michiana Crime Stoppeers)

A black deputy prosecutor in Louisville was suspended for dis-
paraging remarks about Asian-Americans.
                                                                          [courtesy WDRB]

Disability checks were suspended for 900 beneficiaries in east-
ern Kentucky and West Virginia whose attorney called himself
"Mr. Social Security."
                                                            [courtesy Associated Press]

Police killed a white man with Tasers at Louisa. . . .

A white man camping on the bank of Elkhorn Creek,  suspected
of a burglary in Georgetown, was shot by police after he refused
to drop a handgun he had drawn on them.
                                                                             [courtesy WLKY]

Lexington's most wanted: Elicia Thomas, featured fugitive of the week, BF, 26, 5'0", 130 lbs, trafficking in a controlled substance, first degree (pulled kicking & screaming from the Herald-Leader)

Impounded in Edmonson County (snagged in Silent Grove): Alby, a/k/a Arfy, AT, 27 lbs, b 2/12/13, assault with a friendly weapon (mug shot courtesy Dog Catcher Kim Carroll)

"Those who have sexual intercourse with their hands will find their hands pregnant
  in the afterlife."
                                    €“ – Turkish televangelist Mücahid Cihad Han

"Nelson Mandela made jail.  Gandhi made jail.  Castro made jail.  So, who's Jack
  Warner?"
                        – former FIFA vice president Jack Warner, on his way to jail

"An Adam without an Eve is a sad thing."
                                                                        – Indiana University art curator Sherry Rouse,
                                                                           on the statue left in the Arboretum

"He was a moderately successful governor of a pretty major state."

            – the New York Times' David Brooks re Democratic presidential candidate Martin O'Malley


" . . . peters off . . . ."
                                      – Louise Ivers, Harvard Medical professor and Partners in Health adviser

"National Endowment for the Arts:  Art works."

Quotations of the Wheat: "I've met the perfect woman;   I couldn't ask for more:   She's deaf, dumb and blind,   And she owns a liquor store." €“– Leonard Simon

"Blasphemy is the crime of making fun of ridiculous beliefs someone
  else holds sacred."
                                      €“ €“ – Edwin Kagin

Putting one little word after another,  and can we not settle on one name or the other?  Or
should we be saying also (or formerly) "Italy the country formerly known as Rome," "the
United States the country formerly known as the American Colonies," "China the country
formerly known as Cathay,"  and  "Bangladesh the country formerly known as East Paki-
stan (and, before that, Bengal)," etc., etc.?  Where does history end  and nomenclature be-
gin?  (That last question is for you, Bruce.)    – Editor

Desert Storm lookalikes: Amir Hamudi Hasan Al-Sadi, Presidential Scientific Advisor; Benjamin Netanyahu

Bruce Jenner changed his/her name to Caitlyn and ap-
peared on the cover of Vanity Fair. . . .  Amateur theo-
logians were scrambling to establish new religions on
the basis of the virgin birth of seven sawfish in Florida.
.  .  .  An Oklahoma state trooper shot and killed a man
he had been sent to rescue from high water. .  .  . Equi-
fax,  the credit report agency,  agreed in a court case to
enter     God Gazarov's name in its data base  (there  was
no mention of God Shammgod). . . .A 69-year-old wo-
man beat up a 38-year-old man trying to hijack her au-
tomobile in Saratoga Springs, Utah,  and he wound up
in a hospital with critical injuries after he then broke in
to her daughter's house. . . .  A 50-year-old man pissed
off at his mother drove his Chevy Tahoe into her living
room and ran over her in Bloomingburg, New York. . . .
Spanish singer Enrique Iglesias – Julio's  son – injured
two fingers trying to grab a photographing drone  at  a
concert in Mexico.
                                     [courtesy Harper's, Snopes, AP]

 

Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas) Cassandra Beaver, BF, 34, 5'2", 170 lbs, possession of cocaine in drug free zone (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

'Mer'can FUBAR wun Horace Racine's Tripel Groan (and the
theme song at Belmont Park was sung not by Rascal Flatts or
Jordin Sparks but by a dead man).

I've been seeing (and sleeping with) "Jordan" for eight months.
We met at the gym, and I asked him out because I had an ama-
zing feeling about him. Since then I've become totally infatua-
ted. He is one of the kindest men I've ever met. I saw a future.

But the other day, Jordan casually mentioned that he needed to
to change my name in his phone. When I asked what he meant,
he said he still had me listed as "girl from the gym."

I couldn't believe it.  We've been together eight months!  I ex-
pressed my hurt and told him that such a thing was very cold.
He didn't seem to think it was a big deal.  But I have not been
able to get over this detail.  I see it as a  total  lack  of  respect
and proof of my impermanence in his life,  and it means I am
definitely not someone important to him.  Am I overreacting?
I thought he was actually the one.
                                                                                Phony Love