:

Honkin de Spain wrote Fri 11/11/16:

What is the editor's fascination with the
"most wanted" from the four corners?

The  "perps"  in Tabloid Headlines began with a fasci-
nation for all these beautiful women who do such bad
things.   The creepy male perps were added  for  high-
light.   Then the ugly women became beautiful.    – Ed.

The city of Bloomington changed the names  of  Good  Fri-
day and Columbus Day to "Spring Holiday" and "Fall Hol-
iday," respectively. . . .

Two teen-age girls in Allen County died in a horse-drawn
buggy struck by a pickup truck, which fled the scene. . . .

A woman admitted injecting shit into her 15-year-old son's
IV tube at a hospital he was in for leukemia. . . .

A defendant in the state's Court of Appeals argued that the
state's  2015  Religious Freedom Restoration Act  exempts
him from taxation. . . .

Ser Je Da Be,  a 13-year-old Fort Wayne girl who ran off
with her 22-year-old boy friend, was found in an "Amber
Alert."
                                           [courtesy Columbus Republic]

tasharah.jpg Wanted in South Bend and in LaPorte and Elkhart for theft: Tashara Harrison, BF, 5'6", 240 lbs

A hooded man in the passenger seat of car grabbed a wo-
man's purse at a Wal-Mart in Mount Sterling and dragged
her 20 feet across the parking lot as she held on. . . .

A Louisiville atheist was denied an auto license plate say-
ing "IM GOD."
                                  [courtesy Lexington Herald-Leader]

Two lawyers squared off in probate court in Louisville's
Hall of Justice, one of them winding up on the floor.

                                             [courtesy Courier-Journal]

lexnonam.jpg Lexington's most wanted, pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader, which did not even give us any names this week, let alone crimes, races, sexes, heights, weights or aliases

"There's about a dozen waltzes out there."
                                                                        – Scott Blankenship, Minnesota Public Radio,
                                                                           introducing a piece by Tamezo Narita

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "I have very recently retained a trust lawyer and brokerage, and  the consensus is that the Wheat should be able to  travel  exten-  sively for at least two weeks." – Leonard Simon

Wanted in Wichita Falls: Malinda Ellean Pitman, coke and firewater;; Jennifer Ann Medlin, burglary; Larry Ray Lindsey, injury to a child; Heather Suzanne Chavez, coke and firewater (Texoma Crime Stoppers)

"Post-truth" became Oxford Dictionaries' "word of the year." . . . . A
bicycling alderman was attacked by a squirrel  in  Chicago,  Illinois.
. . . Gay conversion therapy was prohibited in Erie County and Buff-
alo,  New  York.  .  .  .  A bill in the Texas legislature would require
teachers to report  LGBTQ  students  to  their  parents. . . . A man in
Brunswick,  Georgia,  has been wearing earmuffs since the  election
and a sign saying "I don't know who won and don't want to, PLEASE
DON'T TELL ME" and has not been on line or read a newspaper, ei-
ther. .  .  . #TrumpCuppers were buying drinks under the name Trump
at Starbucks to make baristas shout "Trump"  when  their  orders  are
ready. . . . A lady TV news anchor in Seattle, Washington, drew a pe-
nis on Google Quick, Draw! trying to draw a cannon. .  .  .  "Bullshit,
hatred, cover to cover"  was scrawled on the face pages of copies of
the  Koran,  along with a swastika,  at the public library in Evanston,
Illinois.
                  [courtesy Harper's, the Frisky, HuffPost, Raw Story, AP]

You don't have to sing the National Anthem at a sporting e-
vent to perform it poorly. . . .

freddant.jpg Jazzman Freddie Jones plays National Anthem at Dallas Cowboys / Washington Redskins Thanksgiving Day game

leahfans.jpg

And here's a little girl that someone thinks is cute who makes
it worse. . . .


The University of Kentucky football team celebrated being
"bowl eligible" after winning their sixth game last Saturday
(they'd lost five – they won a seventh game yesterday at in-
state rival Louisville, who dropped to 9 and 3). 

ukbowlel.jpg

How do you get a man to help you financially?
                                                                             AnonaMs.

lifehoch.jpg "OK, Cologne, here I come, Dude" Konrad von Hochstaden

:

"Chipmunk"  wrote Mon 11/14/16 @ 14:10 CST re our
recent mention of an "app" that will check mattress con-
tours to let you know if your spouse had  someone  else
in bed with her/him while you were away:

I read about that in The Week magazine.  It said a Spanish
company had created a high-tech  "Smartress"  containing
24 ultrasonic sensors that detect rhythmic movements.   If
the $1,700 mattress  senses  hanky-panky  when its owner
is  away,  it sends him or her a "smartphone" message say-
ing the mattress is in use and how many people are on it. 

Why hasn't President Obama, or some other concerned
citizen,  sued the Senate,  or at least the majority leader
thereof (you remember him, don't you?  Mitch McCon-
nell?),  for not considering his nomination to fill the Su-
preme Court vacancy left by the death of Justice Anto-
nin Scalia?  Wouldn't  it  have  been  interesting  to see
what the rest of the  Supreme Court  thought about this
unprecedentedly long-standing vacancy?

Surely,  we  thought,  some legal scholar has written a-
bout such a proposition. We found  this  article  by Jay
Michaelson,  legal  affairs  writer  for the Daily Beast,
who is a law school graduate,  published February 18,
only five days after Scalia's death,  who is of the opin-
ion that the President would have standing to file such
a suit. 

Here are two weigh-ins to the contrary,  by Adam Lip-
tak and Michael D. Shear  on February 26  in the New
York Times; and here's another pro view, by Jason Lin-
kins on May15 in the Huffington Post.

Graffiti including a swastika,  "Heil Trump"  and "fag church"
were painted on an Episcopal church in Bean Blossom, Brown
County.
                                                                          [courtesy WTHR]

Students in Indiana, Michigan and Texas chanted variations of
"Build that wall!"
                                                            [courtesy Harper's Weekly]

 

crystici.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Crystal Jones, WF, 5'5", 235 lbs, welfare fraud; Derek Hooten, WM, 5'9", 170 lbs, cocaine, meth, marijuana; Colin Toland, WM, 5'10", 175 lbs, theft; Alicia Wesson, BF, 5'5", 125 lbs, DUI (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

beccalic.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Rebecca Moreno, HF, 43, 5'1", 200 lbs, assault; Wanted in South Bend (Indiana): Kassandra Kidman, WF, 5'4", 160 lbs, theft, escape; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas: Terasha Presley-Dupree, BF, a/k/a Deonte A. Minnis, 18, 5'5", 170 lbs, grand schemes, petit theft (Abilene and Michiana Crime Stoppers, City of Wichita)

      

chrisral.jpg Most wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Christopher William Fryback, WM, cold check over $500; Frank Gregory-Lee Blue Jr., BM, assault by strangling; Ralfell N. Williams, BM, felon in possession of firrearm, phony name; Jason Edward Farmer, WM, nonsupport (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A monument to Confederate soldiers, a point of controversy at
the University of Louisville  earlier this year,  will be moved to
Brandenburg, Ky., where Confederate General John Hunt Mor-
crossed the Ohio River for a raid on Southern Indiana in 1863.

                                                                      [courtesy Reuters]
  

alexeric.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Alexandria Ray Rankin, running a red light, DUI, manslaughter; Xiang Wang, 32, possession of child pornography (7,900 images); Erica Hatter, WF, 29, 5'8", 140 lbs, featured fugitive of the week, excape from work release (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

            

stepcour.jpg Stephanie Suter, BF, 41, 5'3", 180 lbs, "I do not belong in jail"; Jerry Williams, WM, 53, 5'10", 140 lbs, "I am not a criminal"; Courtney Lovell, WF, 25, 5'4", 150 lbs, "What am I doing in this photo?"

chrisdes.jpg Christie Michelle Hanley, WF, 32, arrested for arson, abuse of a corpse, tempering with evidence, robbery; Destiny Alexandria Huff, BF, 23, arrested for murder and robbery

"I am of course against any violence against brown people.  However, I do think you should yell
  at them.    We want them to feel that everything around them  is  against  them.   And  we  want
  them to be afraid."                   
                                    – Andrew Anglin, The Daily Stormer

"It doesn't compare to the civil rights movement. No one is blowing up churches."

                                                    – Richard Cohen, president of the Southern Poverty Law Center

"It will be refreshing to have a classy, beautiful, dignified First Lady in the White House.
  I’m tired of seeing a ape in heels."
                                                                – Pamela Ramsey Taylor, (former) Clay
                                                                   County (W. Va.) development director
"Just made my day, Pam."
                                            – Beverly Whaling, (former) mayor of Clay, W. Va.

"The data was wrong, the modeling was wrong; . . . you cannot have a functioning strong field
  operation if the data and the modeling is wrong."
                                                                                       – Karine Jean-Pierre, senior
                                                                                          adviser to MoveOn.org

"So, . . .  So . . .  Right.  So, . . . .  "
                                                            – Dominic Holden, LGBT reporter for BuzzFeed

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "She took my money; she took my car; she started telling her friends she was   going to be a star.  It was a lot of she, damn it to Roundhill." – Leonard Simon

November 14:  Ellis Marsalis, 82
                    November 15:  Janet Lennon, 70
                                             Anni-Frid Lyngsdtad, 71
                                             Petula Clark, 84
                                             Clyde McPhatter (1932-1972)
                                            
                    November 16: 

Deaths:                 Melvin Laird, 94                 Mose Allison, 89                 Antonin Scalia, 79                 Leon Russell, 74                 Gwen Ifill, 61                 Holly Dunn, 59                 Linda Susan Be Bell, 66                 Mary Anita Pike Patterson Brown, 90                 Hettie "Dude" Halcomb, 82                 Sister Mary OCD Lee, 91                 Ellen Jeanette "Bobo" Perkins, 78                                      [Louisville Courier-Journal]

A school-board member in Little Rock,  Arkansas,  was investigated
for wearing blackface. . . . Middle-schoolers in Oregon shouted "Go
back to Mexico!" at an 11-year-old Colombian-American. . . . A ban-
ner reading "Death to Diversity" was hung in a Colorado library. . . .
A high school student in Redding, California,  handed out "deporta-
tion orders" to minority classmates. . . .  "KILL KILL KILL BLACKS"
was written on a bathroom wall  at a grade school in Silver Spring,
Maryland.  . . .  A sign outside a church in the same city advertising
Spanish services was covered with a canvas saying "Trump Nation
Whites Only." . . . A note reading "You can all go home now . . . " was
taped to a Muslim family's front door in Iowa City, Iowa. . . . A Mus-
lim teacher in Gwinnett County, Georgia, found a note in her class-
room suggesting that she hang herself with her head scarf. . . . Mus-
lim coeds in San Diego and San Jose,  California,  and Albuquerque,
New Mexico, reported having their hijabs forcibly removed; and a
Muslim  coed  at the University of Michigan  was  threatened  with
immolation if she did not remove her hijab. . . . Swastikas were put
on the dormitory doors of Jewish coeds  at the New School in New
York City. . . . "Trump!" was written on the door of a Muslim prayer
room at New York University. . . . Students in Oklahoma threatened
to lynch black students at the University of Pennsylvania.  .  .  .  Stu-
dents carried a Trump sign  through  the  halls  of the  York  County
School of Technology in Pennsylvania while a companion shouted,
"White  power!" . . . Fliers advising white women not to date black
men were circulating on the Southern Methodist University camp-
us in Dallas, Texas. . . . The golf coach at Wesley Chapel High School
in Florida was put on leave for threatening to  "call  Donald  Trump
and get you sent back to Africa."  .  .  .  Sneakers made by New Bal-
ance of Boston, the only major producer left in America,  were de-
clared the "official shoes of white people." . . . A bald eagle flew in-
to a sewer and died in Orlando, Florida.

                        [courtesy  Harper's,  which  devoted  its  entire news-
                         letter last week to post-election fucknuts (unless you
                         consider the bald eagle to be outside that category]

richmari.jpg Wanted in Waco: Richard Lee Barcomb, WM, 60, 5'6", 150 lbs, felony DUI; Cherelle C. Majors, BF, 26, 5'6", 240 lbs, probation and weight violation, theft; Breonna S. Smith, BF, 22, 5'3", 180 lbs, probation violation, solicitation of a minor on line; Mario José Villareal, HM, 56, 5'8", 170 lbs, assault (Waco Crime Stoppers)

A couple of months ago  I began to apply for credit cards.
I was approved for five credit cards  and some shop-now,
pay-later plans.  So I shopped and shopped, and shopped
some more, until all my credit cards  were  maxed  out.  I
shopped in stores and spent hours on line.  Even after the
bills started coming in,   I continued to shop,  using shop-
now, pay-later plans.  Now I'm in debt.  What happened?

                                                                        Crazy in NY

lifesv08.jpg Life Saver Dude: Lappin' the nappin', Dude?

A new round of e-mail released by WikiLeaks, on Election Day,  revealed that Hillary Clinton,
while Secretary of State,  ignored a desperate request  for  aid  from  a  foreign  head  of  state.
Prince Waseem Attah of Nigeria called Clinton a "dependable and trust wordy foreign partner"
in the e-mail  and asked her assistance in transferring funds from his country to a U.S. bank ac-
count.  "Sharing shall be 25% pct. for you and 85% for me,"  the e-mail said.  "Please send me
your telephone, fax and Social Security numbers to discuss further."

FBI Director James Comey said server logs showed the e-mail was negligently  deleted  just sec-
onds after it was opened.   Donald Trump and U.S. Senator Mitch McConnell called for Clinton's
scalp.    [courtesy J. Ewing for the People]

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "I almost forgot how good a bad woman feels." – Leonard Simon

November 7:  Billy Graham, 98
                    November 8:  Lynndie England, 34
                                           Bonnie Raitt, 69
                                           Bonnie Bramlett, 72
                                           Bram Stoker (1847-1912)
                                          

Dale Earnhardt got a warning for speeding in Fort Worth, Texas. . . .

Colin Kaepernick didn't vote.

jessloli.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Jessica L. Alcorn, a/k/a Jessica Wren, a/k/a Reba, WF, 25, 5'6", 140 lbs, credit card fraud, domestic battery (City of Wichita); Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Lolita Juanita Armstead, BF, assault with a dangerous weapon; Jiera Palaar McIntosh, WF, larceny in a building; Shagoria Shanice-Nasha Rivera, a/k/a Shaka Snatchcat Shellacka, BF, assault with a dangerous weapon (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A Kuwaiti woman who suspected her husband of cheating with the
housemaid marched the couple's parrot to the police when the bird
began barking saucy lines the husband had not said to the wife. . . .
Two teen-age girls found hugging and kissing on a rooftop in Mar-
rakesh,  Morocco,  were beaten by their families and charged with
licentious or unnatural acts. . . . The Vatican condemned a Catholic
radio station in Italy that aired an Italian priest saying recent earth-
quakes were  "divine  punishment"  for gay civil unions. . . . A 43-
year-old woman in Greenville, Mississippi,  amputated her cheat-
ing 48-year-old husband's penis and gonads with a kitchen knife
and made him eat them. . . . Nine pupils at a grade school in Dor-
chester County, Sout Carolina, were suspended for doing "happy
crack," a mix of Kool-Aid crystals and sugar. . . . If we had space
we'd report that Angelina Jolie's former husband Billy Bob Thorn-
ton  reported he never felt good enough for her.

                                                                    [courtesy Harper's, AP]

My wife,  a middle-aged college graduate whose job is coaching
girls competing in beauty pageants,  says she voted  for  Donald
Trump.  What do I do?
                                                                      Frederick Maryland

:

toomybev.jpg Political lookalikes: Pat Toomey, U.S. Senator from Pennsylvania; Matt Bevin, "Governor Selfie" of Kentucky; bevtoomy.jpg Governor Selfie, Senator Patty

Joseph “Trey” Hollingsworth III,  Republican candidate for Con-
gress in Southern Indiana,  has been accused of  "carpetbagging";
and,  in  fact,  he is registered agent for his business in five states
outside  Indiana – Ohio, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina
and Virginia – which means he is legally obligated to reside in six
different states  (including  Indiana,  where he must reside if he is
to be a Congressman). He was born in Tennessee, where his busi-
ness is headquartered, and where he was a candidate for governor
– as a Democrat – in the 1990s. . . .

Westyn Ziegler loves police, police cars and sirens;  and his moth-
er arranged a police-themed 7th birthday party for him  and  invi-
ted 25 kids – but none of them came.  So a policeman picked him
up in a patrol car, let him blow the siren and took him to the town
hall in Prince's Lake where the whole police department gave him
pizza, ice cream, cake and presents. . . .

"Alzheimer friendly business" designations were being awarded
by the Home Instead Senior Care training institute in Blooming-
ton.
                                                       [courtesy Columbus Republic]

                                    [courtesy WLWT5, Cincinnati]                                     [courtesy Herald-Leader]

Barbara Dobbs, 37, was arrested for felony assault for punching her daughter's school bus driver in the face and shoving the school bus monitor as the bus brought her daughter home in Kenton County, near Cincinnati. The sexes and ages of the driver and the monitor were not reported (and neither was Ms. Dobbs' weight). Suzanne Whitlow, 26, who had completed a mandatory "alcohol driver education" course three weeks and two days earlier, to get her driver license back after a DUI conviction, struck and killed two pedestrians in Lexington and is charged with DUI (again) and manslaughter.

lestrav.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Lesley Cobb, WF, 34, 5'2", smack; Travontez Lillard, BM, 18, 5'3", 180 lbs, robbery; Jaraqueze Bunton, BM, 21, 5'8", 170 lbs, burglary, credit card fraud; Ashley Defevers, WF, 29, 5'3", 130 lbs, trafficking in mutiple controlled substances, bail jumping (courtesy Bluegrass Crime Stoppers)

The temperature reached 85 degrees in Louisville Tuesday.
breaking the record for November.
                                                                [courtesy WLKY]

Birthdays: October 31:  Reza Pahlavi III, 56                      Tom Paxton, 79                      Dan Rather, 85 November 1:  Coco Crisp, 37                        Fernando Valenzuela, 56                        Lyle Lovett, 59 November 2:  K. D. Lang, 55                        Warren G. Harding (1865-1923)                        James K. Polk (1795-1849) November 3:  Rosanne, 64                        Lulu, 68                        Aurangzeb (1658-1707) November 4:  Loretta Swit, 78                        Walter Cronkite (1916-2009) November 5:  Tatum O'Neal, 53                        Art Garfunkel, 75                        Elke Sommer, 76 November 6:  Stonewall Jackson, 84                        Johanna the Mad (1479-1555)

[                                                                       a Tabloid Headlines photo]

"OK, so, . . . .  OK, so, so, . . . .  OK, . . .  So, . . . so, . . . so, . . . .  So, . . . so, . . . .  So, . . . .  So, . . . .
 So, . . . ."
                                                – Brian Naylor, National Public Radio, in a 4½-minute interview
" . . . All right, so, . . . ."
                                                – Renée Montagne, his interviewer, intervening

"This commercial-free break is brought to you by T-Mobile."
                                                                                                        – Joe Buck, 9th inning
                            "Lathino."    – Adrian Florido, NPR

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "In trying to become politically correct,  the Sunfish Mafia  is now lending  adversaries money and finding them hobbies, and we have become a kind-  er and gentler machine gun hand." – Leonard Simon

A Japanese woman farted while having laser surgery  on  her  cervix
and caught fire. . . . Russia announced a missile that could knock out
an area the size of Texas or France. . . . A Saudi Arabian filed for di-
vorce two hours after his wedding when he learned that his wife had
posted their wedding photos on Snotpot Snapchat. . . . Thousands of
women in Iceland left their jobs at 2:38 p.m., with 14 per cent of the
work day remaining,  to protest the country's 14 per cent gender sex
pay gap. . . .  Kim Young'n' drank 10 bottles of wine in one evening.
. . . A chimpanzee at the zoo in Pyongyang, North Koreas, was smo-
king a pack of cigarettes a day.  . . .  A 20-year-old coed rear-ended
a parked police car in College Station, Texas, while taking a topless
selfie for Slapcrap Snapchat. . . . A 35-year-old man being followed
by police in Chandler, Arizona, stopped at an In-N-Out Burger drive-
through and appeared to place an order but then drove on to a house
and was arrested when he could not open the back door. . . . Schools
in at least nine states prohibited dressing  as  clowns  for Halloween,
and Ronald McDonald was laid off.
                                                                        [courtesy Harper's,  AP]

shechris.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Sheila Hopkins, WF, 50, 5'5", 145 lbs, prostitution; Tahari Cross-Hudson, BM, 21, 6'1", 210 lbs, Unlawful carrying of a weapon; Christina Baldwin, WF, 31, 5'6", 170 lbs, marijuana, meth, possession in a corrections facility (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

reneliss.jpg Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Renée V. Garcia, WF, 36, Victoria Garcia, 5'3", 125 lbs, domestic battery, petty theft; Michael D. Taylor, 46, 6'1", 220 lbs, violation of protection from abuse; Lissette Rivera, WF, 25, a/k/a Lissette Rivera-Cortez, 5'2", 200 lbs, DUI (City of Wichita)

The  Cleveland  Indians  have not won a World Series  since
1948.   The Chicago Cubs beat them for their first World Se-
ries title since 1908,  but it's not like their manager, Joe Mad-
don – arguably only slightly less ugly than the Indians' mana-
ger, Terry Francona, but clearly the dumber of the two – did-
n't try to lose. 

maddcona.jpg Maddon, Francona

Cubs' starting pitcher Kyle Hendricks  had  a  5-1  lead  with
two out and no one on base  in the bottom of the fifth inning
of the seventh game when he walked a batter,  and  Maddon
brought in the Cubs' "ace" starter,  John Lester,  to "relieve"
him.  That meant that the catcher,  hard-hitting Willson Con-
treras,  who already had an RBI double,  also  had  to  be re-
placed,  by Lester's "personal"  catcher,  39-year-old David
Ross, playing his last game  (this was not only stupid; it was
rude,  also,  since  a starting pitcher has to pitch at least five
complete innings to get credit for a victory).

Ross  proceeded  to field a soft grounder hit by the Indians'
Jason Kipnis and  overthrow  first  base,  putting runners at
second and third with his error,  both of whom  then scored
on one wild pitch from Lester,  as  Ross  erred  again  trying
to recover the pitch.   Score  5-3.   Ross homered in the top
of the 6th to put the Cubs ahead 6-3, but the Indians scored
three to tie the game in the bottom of the eighth against Ar-
oldis Chapman,  the Cubs' top reliever,  who had been used
also the night before  when the Cubs did not need him,  be-
ing ahead 6-2 in the sixth inning.  Another Maddon boner.

The rain that suspended the game after the ninth inning with
both teams tied looked like a blessing  (like the 1948 Boston
Braves' chant, "Spahn, and Sain, and pray for rain");  but the
game was resumed; the Cubs scored two in the tenth and the
Indians, only one.

My brother and his wife have an 18-month-old daughter.
At Christmas my sister-in-law, "Barb," sends out e-mail
saying what we are and  are  not  allowed to buy for her
daughter. This includes asking her permission before we
buy any toys,  with a threat to cancel Christmas if we do
not heed her request.

Barb tells my mother  that  because  her own mother does-
n't have much money, Mom can't spend more than her mo-
ther does.  So,  because my family has a little more money,
we are being punished.  What do you say?
                                                                      Holiday Hostage