:

The cross returned to the Christmas tree in Knightstown but
not to the top of it.
                                                                      [courtesy Fox59]

Nine persons were arrested in North Judson over a 3-year-
old girl found locked in a plywood box  in  her living room
– three for child neglect and six,  including four teen-agers,
for failure to report child abuse. . . .

Purdue University's student newspaper,  the Exponent,  cut
print publication from five days a week to two. . . .

Monserrate  Shirley  got 50 years in prison for blowing up
her house in an Indianapolis suburb,  killing the next door
neighbors and destroying or damaging 80 other homes. . . .

Indianapolis' 145th homicide of the year set a new record
for the city.
                                               [courtesy Columbus Republic]

South Bend's most wanted: Montana Draper, WM, 5'9", 150 lbs, theft, FTA; Tina Parker, BF, 5'9", 185 lbs, theft, FTA (in cahoots?); Berrien County, Michigan's: Larry Washington Brooks Jr., BM, larceny in a building; Julie Marie Bush, WF, embezzlement; Willie Deandre Hassel, BM, dangerous weapon, discharging a firearm in a building (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Governor Selfie pronounced 2017 the "Year of the Bible" (as
he did 2016 a year ago). . . .

A state senator won a $200,00 verdict for defamation against
his election opponent  (yes,  it's the same guy who addressed
the Republican convention last summer). . . .

Twenty-three thoroughbred horses were killed in a barn fire in
Lexington. . . .

A professor at the University of Kentucky reported that he was
disciplined for sexual misconduct by the school's  Title  IX  co-
ordinator for singing the Beach Boys' "California Girls"  to stu-
dents.
                                             [courtesy Lexington Herald-Leader]

camedoug.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Camelia Brown, BF, 24, 'so happy someone finally wants me!'; Michael Banks, WM, 49, 5'6", 165 lbs, wanted Camelia Brown in an unlawful manner; Nancy McCarty, WF, 49, 5'2", 140 lbs, 'why would anyone want me?'; James Milton III, WM, 22, 5'8", 150 lbs, 'wanted? me? By whom? What for?'; Rachel Wegs, WF, 35, 5'8", 150 lbs, start-up fraud; Ebony Turner, BF, 24, 5'5", 'featured fugitive of the week,' making or embossing a credit card; Daphne Robinson, WF, 37, 5'5", 120 lbs, consorting with known perps; Douglas Bump, WM, 39, 5'7", 140 lbs, hanging with Daphne and Ebony (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

"That's exactly right. . . .  That's exactly right. . . .  Exactly."
                                                                                                    –   Shankar Vedantam

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "Life is not all lollipops and blow jobs – don't forget – never forget   – drugs and sports!" – Leonard Simon

rochbeat.jpg Arrested in Abilene: Rochelle Ramirez, HF, 32, 5'5", 160 lbs, meth, firewater; Beatrice Carillo, HF, 43, 5'1", 145 lbs, theft (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

Russian President Vladimir Putin canceled plans to attend a  play  in
Moscow  written by a Russian ambassador assassinated in Tehran in
1829. . . . A couple in Woods Cross, Utah, died in a fire set by lights
on their artificial Christmas tree. . . .  At least 49 persons died in Irk-
utsk, Siberia, from drinking a bath lotion containing an antifreeze tox-
in. . . .  A survey found more than half the residents of the former US-
SR favoring a return to more authoritarian government. . . .  A police
dog was sicced upon a naked man in University City, California. . . .
A 66-year-old albatross laid an egg in Hawaii. . . . Two female em-
ployees at a sex shop in San Bernardino, California, thwarted a rob-
ber by hurling dildos at him. . . .Three high school freshmen in Oma-
ha, Nebraska,  gave their female teacher turnovers frosted with their
own jizm. . . .  "Whatever"  was found to be the most annoying word
for the eighth straight year  ("huge" was in the running).

                                            [courtesy Harper's, Huffington Post, AP]

My boy friend and I are mature adults who enjoy photogra-
phy.  He brings a camera when we go to the beach or spor-
ting events  –  even to the store.  He's learning all the time
about light and how to use his zoom lens.

But when we get back and I download the pics, the major-
ity of his shots are of women's chests, behinds,  and pretty
faces.   He's snapped many of them while they're standing
right next to me.  (There are very few shots of me.)

When I ask if he wants me to delete any photos, he says no.
I don't understand why he keeps pictures  of  strangers  and
not of me.
                                                                  Outta da Pitture

         
   

lifehole.jpg Life Saver Dude: "Merry Xmas, Dudes! My favorite card this year . . . " "Look out . . . ICE HOLE!" "What did you call me?" Merry Christmas and happy new year! from Delana and Jamey Bryant, of Woodburn, Ky.

:

Uh, er, putting one little word after another, and, we know Katie (and Angie and Nicole, and Leah), but – who's Kate?
                                                – Editor, Tabloid Headlines

Castro's deathbed confession, I killed JFK!, dispatched hit squad to Dallas, fatal shot fired from grassy knoll, how he FRAMED Oswald (Enquirer); Harry knocks up Meghan Markle, humiliated Queen orders shotgun wedding (Globe); Angie's regrets! 'I want Brad back!' devastated over his nights with Kate (Star); Katie, Nicole & Leah's REVENGE AGAINST TOM! (In Touch Weekly)

Honkin de Spain wrote Sun 12/1/16 re the NASA program
to find a way to dispose of astronaut excrement . . .

The idiots!  Howard, Raj and Leonard solved this
problem years ago, on the Big Bang Theory.

. . . and re Dear Eleanor's Cray-Cray, who maxed out five
credit cards and wondered what to do about her debt:

Maybe she can find an attorney who will take her
credit card to file a bankruptcy.

Police  seen on video beating a handcuffed suspect for three
minutes in Evansville were suspended but will not be charg-
ed with crimes.
                                                   [courtesy Washington Post]

Knightstown removed an illuminated cross from atop an ev-
ergreen tree in the public square after being sued by  a  resi-
dent and the American Civil Liberties Union. . . .

Pinball  was  made  legal  in Kokomo for the first time since
1955.
                                                [courtesy Columbus Republic]

patrlind.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Patrick Coleman, BM, 5'6", 150 lbs, robbery, mobery; Lindsay Stewart, WF, 5'6", 145 lbs, theft, failure to appear, zits; Elkhart's: Anastasia Lebbin, WF, 5'3" 170 lbs, lebbian robbery; Kendra Nichole Thomas, BF, assault with a deadly weapon with intent to do great bodily harm less than murder; Dustin Levell Saffell, WM, firing a weapon from a vehicle, absconding paroll (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

The state's Supreme Court  overruled a black Louisville jud-
ge's dismissal of a nearly all white jury in the trial of a black
man.
                                                                    [courtesy WLKY]

The state Supreme Court issued an order  requiring  lawyers
to maintain "valid" e-mail addresses with the director of the
state  bar  association.  "If you wish to stop receiving e-mail
from us," the director said in an e-mail to lawyers, "do so at
your own risk by clicking on this link."

        [Kentucky Bar Association  –  this e-mail was accompanied
             by this warning from our e-mail "service" "provider":  "We think
             this message is a scam. . . .  Are you sure you want to visit www.-
             kybar.org?"]

One of two men discussing plans to rob a Danville bar butt-
dialed 911 (the police chief, having dinner at Brothers BBQ
& Brewing Co., was waiting for them).

                                      [courtesy Lexington Herald-Leader]

jurisava.jpg Lexington's most wanted: James Ivey III, WM, 25, 5'9", 140 lbs, looking guilty; Jurika Wade, BF, 27, 5'4", 190 lbs, looking hot (but maybe a little overweight), Savanah Godown, WF, 29, 5'2", 130 lbs, going down in all the wrong places and at all the wrong times (and looking dejected); Howard Frasier II, WM, 34, 5'5", 150 lbs, looking askance; Gary McCann, BM, 54, 5'7", 190 lbs, and Kevin Dale, WM, 45, 5'10", 135 lbs, looking falsely accuased and incredulous, respectively (all pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

"I envy paranoids; they feel people are actually paying attention to them."
                                                                                                                            – Susan Sontag

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "Now tell me to show you my face, Life Saver Dude!" – Leonard  Simon  a/k/a "Wheatley"

Pope Jorge compared the "fake news" fad to coprophilia. . . . The Pres-
ident of Syria called the President-elect of the United States  a  "natural
ally."  . . .  A judge in New Jersey ordered the Trentonian newspaper to
stop publishing news about  welfare  custody  of  a 5-year-old boy who
had brought drugs to school. . . . Ku Klux Klan members in North Caro-
lina told the Associated Press they were not "white supremacists."  . . .
A 27-year-old debt-ridden student in Australia  got  "overdraft  protec-
ton" in a "bank error in his favor" and spent more than a million dollars
on sports cars, speedboats, strippers and cocaine. . . . A woman in Tam-
pa, Florida, was accused of sending "You gonna die" and other threaten-
ing messages to the father of a child killed in the 2012 Sandy Hook mas-
sacre, which she believed was a hoax created by the Obama administra-
tion to promote gun control. . . .  A passenger's electronic cigarette start-
ed a fire on an airliner over Arkansas. . . . Fifty-five vehicles,  including
a tanker truck that slid off the icy road and exploded, piled up on I-95 in
Baltimore, Maryland; two persons died.
                                                                                           [Harper's, AP]

heathjol.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls: Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week: Heather Suzanne Chavez, Hispanic Female, DOB 9-28-93, Bro/Bro, 135 lbs, 4' 11" tall, wanted for bond revocation, manufacture/delivery of controlled substance; Ross Makibbin, WM, 12-7-77, bro/haz, 190 lbs, 6'5", PR bond canceled, fraudulent use / possession of identifying information; Jolene Francis Home, WF, 12-23-83, blo/haz, 125 lbs, 5'3", attorney off bond, possession of controled substance (WF Crime Stoppers)

The Morehead (Ky.) State University  basketball  coach  was  charged
with battery in Evansville, Indiana, for backhanding one of his players
in a game at the University of Evansville and shoving another.

I'm 17,  and a friend of mine, "Jane," has just told me she has
"dissociative identity disorder" (which I think used to be cal-
led "multiple personality disorder").

I don't know how I should behave around her now because
large parts of our history have  correlated  to  her various i-
dentities.  Some have come on to me,  but others seemed to
hate me.

Do you know where I can find help for dealing with a per-
son afflicted by this?  She doesn't want to tell her psychia-
trist; and so far only another friend I and know about this.

                                                                    How to Behave?

:

So,  who has been the scariest President-Elect of all time in the
United States of America? Donald Strump, or Andrew Jackson?

The chief executive of United Technologies said a $16 million
investment in automation will mean fewer jobs  at  Carrier  in
Indiana and Mexico both.
                                                   [courtesy Columbus Republic]

An Indiana University alumnus and former champion rider in
the "Little 500," I.U.'s annual bicycle race preceding auto ra-
cing's 500-Mile Race  in  Indianapolis,  created  a  Little  500
board  game.
                                              [courtesy Indiana Daily Student]

joshraqu.jpg Wanted in Berrien County, Michigan: Joshua Bell Evans, WM, failure to register as sex offender; Sonny James Fannon, WM, criminal sexual conduct; South Bend's most wanted: Raquel Nichols, WF, 5'2", 145 lbs, meth (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

The man who shot his brother dead in Woodford County and
dragged  the  body  behind his pickup truck for a mile-and-a-
half got  only  15  years  in prison and will be eligible for pa-
role in seven months. . . .

A Republican state representative from Hyden  republished
fake  news  stories  on Clutterbook Facebook reporting  that
President Obama is gay, Michelle is trans, and their children
are adopted. . . .
                                 
Sierra Foster, 23,  under the influence of drugs and not having
attended her 2-month-old son for at least 12 hours, was charg-
ed with murder after he was found dead in her apartment; and
Daniel A. Cox, 36,  of Radcliff,  seen beating his 4-month-old
son as he drove down a highway in Hardin County,  was  con-
victed of murder.
                                         [courtesy Lexington Herald-Leader]

logbobby.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Logan Melton, WM, 25, 6'6", 255 lbs, heavy mobery; Michael Hager, WM, 41, 6'0", 140 lbs, misdemeanor mobery; Bobby Helton, WM, 35, 6'2", 290 lbs, heavier mobery; Robert Morrow, WM, 52, 5'11", 255 lbs, attempted mobery (failed); jamagreg.jpg Jamaal Jackson, BM, 36, 6'0", 230 lbs, aggravated mobery; Gregory Taylor-Tolliver, BM, 37, mobery ; Angel Benitez, BM, 25, 5'6", 200 lbs, mobery; David Kirk, WM, 39, 5'8", 170 lbs, intent to commit mobery but without a clue what it is (pulled kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

"Trump has been picking a lot of generals. . . .Well, you know Donald Trump, as he once said, he
  just likes to grab generals. . . . It's actually better than it used to be,  back when he  used  to  just
  grab privates."
                                – Peter Sagal, on National Public Radio's Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me!
                                   (about 5:40 into the first segment)
 
"I have felt uncomfortable all week with the headline 'Trump taps secretaries'."

                                                            – Faith Salie (about 5:32, same segment, same program)

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "My mother kicked me out (again); and, so, I will   be on sabbatical for a while." – Leonard Simon

My fiancé and I have a loving relationship.   He is affection-
ate – hugging, kissing, etc.  But he does not have a high libi-
do.    He has confessed to me he's had relations with men in
the past,  and I'm thinking  he  may  be  bisexual.  That does
not concern me,  but what should I do?
                                                                          Huh?  Wha'?

Wanted in Wichita Falls: Lloydkelly Murray, marijuana; Christina Leyn Smith, coke & firewater; Shantae Esi Lyons, theft; Erick Reyes-Ceerda, prison bitch, assault on a public servant (Texoma Crime Stoppers)

The Mall of America,  in Minneapolis, Minnesota,  hired a black San-
ta Claus. . . . The 78 presents in "The 12 Days of Christmas" now will
cost  $34,363.49,  according to an  annual  evaluation. . . . A  waitress
working her way through college  in Houston, Texas,  called  her  law-
yers unprofessional on Clutterbook Facebook and  in  a  Yelp  review;
the lawyers sued her  for  $100,000,  and  another  lawyer  took up her
countersuit  pro  bono  and won her a judgment of $26,831.55. .  .  .  A
man was fined for giving out free hugs  without  a  permit  at a subway
station in Montreal, Quebec. . . . A fake American embassy selling vi-
sas  for  $6,000  apiece  was shut down in Accra, Ghana. . . . The San
Francisco, California,  airport hired  a  "therapy  pig." . . . An ice dan-
cing team in Moscow, Russia, gave a Holocaust performance, dressed
in striped convict uniforms with Stars of David sewn on. . . . A woman
in Forest Grove, Oregon, called the police on a man whistling the band
Semisonic's "Closing Time" outside her home. .  .  . The police depart-
ment in Kensington, on Prince Edward Island in Canada,  warned holi-
day drunk drivers  that they would be forced to listen to the band Nick-
elback singing about being "shit faced." . . . A Lakewood,  New Jersey,
man who always picked his own numbers when buying  lottery  tickets
wound up with a random ticket from a store clerk  who  did  not  know
him,  and he won a million dollars with it.
                                                                          [courtesy Harper's, AP]

 

joseshak.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas) and wanted again for parole violation: Jose Antonio Callejas, WM, 42, 5'8", 160 lbs, robbery; Shakoya Latrell Christian, BF, 28, 5'4", 135 lbs, forgery; Ndubaraye Minani, BM, a/k/a PJ, 5'4", 120 lbs, aggravated robbery; Lisa Lott, BF, 27, a/k/a Ho'Lotta Trubble, 5'5", 195 lbs, dangerous drugs (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

Charles "Old Hoss" Radbourn won 59 games pitching for the
Providence Grays of the National League in 1884. . . .

  
The University of Connecticut women's basketball team won
their 83rd game in a row.

lifeface.jpg Life Saver Dude: OK, Wheat, Dude, show your face!

:

One person was killed in a six-car pileup in Brownsburg (no
snow or rain involved).
                                                      [courtesy Indianapolis Star]

South Bend's most wanted: Teon McClain, BM, robbery; Laportian Jones, BM, 6'0", 180 lbs, violation of a court order; . . . Berrien County, Michigan's:  Zikia Santrice Taylor, BF, illiegal use of a credit card; Jeron Allen, BF, absconding parole (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A Louisville policeman "underwrote" the speeds on  65  tickets
in what appeared to be a protest of the County Attorney's redu-
cing speeds in court to send offenders  to  "Traffic  School"  to
spare them severer penalties.
                                                        [courtesy Courier-Journal]

[Is that Nikki Carr the same person as the Jamie Culver who graced this column
 last September 18?  Same stats and raps, except for 3-year age diff.    – Editor]

lashatif.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Lashay Beals, BF, 30, homeless on purpose; Mindy Wright, WF, 30, 6'1", 150 lbs, too tall; Benjamin Christian, WM, 24, 6'0", 160 lbs, prison princess; Tiffany Slone, WF, 23, prison prince; Summer Turner, WF, 32, 5'6", 160 lbs, caught in a fall; Nikki Carr, WF, 24, 5'5", 125 lbs, lost (it all) (pulled kicking & screaming from the Herald-Leader)

  

frank100.jpg $100 for motion picture use only

  Ben looks a little pouty on these "for motion picture use only"
  counterfeit $100 bills circulating in Lexington. . . .

One man was killed in a nine-vehicle pileup on I-65 in Bullitt
County (no snow or rain involved). . . .

Two women in masks and hoodies robbed a UPS store in Lex-
ington, tying up the male cashier with zip ties and leaving him
in the mail room. [Uh, er, putting one little word after another,
and isn't an entire "UPS Store"  the mail room?  – Editor, Tab-
loid Headlines.]
                                                          [courtesy Herald-Leader]

Amanda Knox will speak at the next Kentucky Bar Association
convention.
                         [sorry, no public source; e-mail to Editor only]

" . . . You can . . . reduce the risk of getting an acquisition of infection . . . ."

                                                                                     – Anthony S. Fauci, M.D., director, National
                                                                                        Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases

Quotations of the Wheat (Simon says): "Life Saver Dude!  I’m still looking for a babe that knows the meaning of  'Hey, hit the highway already!'" – Leonard Simon

adrimarc.jpg Arrested in Abilene (Texas, not Kansas): Adriana Perez, HF, 27, 5'2", 115 lbs, aggravated assault on a peace officer; Brittney Lawson, BF, 22, 5'4", 165 lbs, meth firrewater; Amy Rodriguez, WF, 30, 5'2", 185 lbs, cruelty to animals; Marcos Losano, HM, 26, 5'5", 160 lbs, robbery (Abilene Crime Stoppers)

According to one of his security men, Fidel Castro survived 634 as-
sassination attempts, including including CIA and exile plans to kill
him with poisonous milkshakes, toxic fountain pens, a scuba-diving
suit covered with a fungus that causes skin disease, and a large sea-
shell booby-trapped with explosives planted on the ocean floor. . . .
A former Playboy playmate pleaded not guilty to "body shaming" a
70-year-old woman on Snatchclap Snapchat. . . .  NASA announced
a public competition to figure out what to do with  astronaut  excre-
ment. . . . Physicists in Canada and England suggested  that  light  is
not as fast as it used to be. . . .  A video of a python that ate a puppy
went viral. .  .  . Hundreds of Viagra pills were found in the office of
South Korean President Park Geun-hye. . . . The U.S. Office of Gov-
ernment Ethics "tweeted" its  responses to Donald Strump's "tweets"
vowing sufficiently ethical financial divestiture. . . . An estimated 2.-
6 million unmarried parents are college students in America. . . . Jo-
venel Moise was said to have defeated 26 other candidates in Haiti's
presidential election,  winning  55.6  per cent  of the vote for his sec-
ond two-year term.
                                                                       [courtesy Harper's, AP]

rubenamy.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls: Ruben Trillo Jr., HM, 3/23/96, bro/grn, 150 lbs, 5'11", burglary of a habitation; Amy Lynn Clover, WF, 12/9/93, bln/blu, 120 lbs, 5'6", abandoning/endangering a child (Texoma Crime Stoppers)

My fiancé, "Allen," and I have dated for almost three years
and have been living together for three months.  He'd  been
divorced for more than two years when we met, and he has
a son,  now  13,  and a daughter,  now  19.  His kids did not
learn about me until after we had dated a year.  The daugh-
ter,  "Jen,"  attends college out of state and stays only with
her mom when she comes home.

Last  summer  Allen and I decided to buy a house together,
found the perfect one and went to make an offer  when Jen
stepped in and said if we lived together before August,  af-
ter she returned to school,  she  wouldn't  have anything to
do  with  her father.  So he told me I couldn't live with him
until August.

Now that we have a house together,  Jen said she wants to
spend Thanksgiving time here at the house  without me  or
my kids.  She cried to her dad,  saying if he doesn't do this
he's excluding her  and choosing my kids and me over her.
This will be my first holiday living with Allen,  and  I  was
really looking forward to it.   We were having friends and
family over.  But  now  he wants me and my kids to leave
for a few hours Thanksgiving morning.

Do I leave my house for a few hours on Thanksgiving,  or
tell Jen she's welcome but my kids and I are staying in our
own home?
                                                                        Disrespected

lifesept.jpg Life Saver Dude: OK, Dude, what's "epting"? Do any of our readers do it? Who's the best at it? Epting 79 Sweatshirt worn at Laura's Hilltop restaurant in Brownsville, Ky., Sunday, Nov. 27