:

Publius Leget wrote Sun 2/17/19 @10:17 CST:

Why was Denys Marella Dabbs not named "Yorkshire hog
of the week"?   5' 6", 228 lbs. . . .

You saw what she was charged with:  "Organized  crime."   The
Sunfish Mafia silenced us.    – Editor

The University of Notre Dame rescinded an honorary degreee it
conferred in 2008 on Cardinal McCarrick. . . .

The state Senate removed sexual orientation, gender identity, race
and other criteria from its hate crimes bill. . . .

Adults attending a drag queen's reading to children at a library in
Evansville will be required to be accompanied by children. . . .

A man crashed a stolen car on I-65 in Indianapolis, flagged down
an ambulance, and then stole the ambulance and took off. . . .

A 12-year-old girl in the  back  seat  of a car stolen from a store's
parking lot in Seymour called 911 from I-65, and she and the car
were rescued.
                                                        [courtesy Columbus Republic]

A bill to require schools to post the motto "In God we trust" pas-
sed committee in the state House of Representatives. . . .

Covington Catholic High School pupil  Nick  Sandmann,  by his
parents,  sued the Washington Post for $250 million. . . .

Surveillance video caught two dogs stealing an Amazon.com de-
livery from a woman's porch in Lexington. . . .

Six llamas were slain and another seven wounded in a gun raid on
a farm near Louisville. . . .

Aerial gunning was under consideration for controlling wild hogs
at a recreation area in western Kentucky.
                                                                              [courtesy LEX18]
                                               See also the sports.
 

Quotation of the week: "I'm little; they're gonna tear me apart."       (there's video of her arraignment)

–Brittany Zamora, 27, 6th grade teach-   er, arrested in Goodyear, Arizona, for   luring  a  13-year-old  boy  into  sex   romps,  expressing  her  fear  of  jail

"So my friend Dr. Kasarian was reported for having sex with a patient,   and his license was suspended,  and his wife left him.  'But,  Steve!'  I   said.  'You're a veterinarian!'  'You tell them,'  he said."                                                                                       – Leonard Simon

                          
Birthdays:

"Juice" Newton, 67
                                           Cybill Shepherd, 69
                                           Yoko Ono, 86
                    February 19:  Hana Mandlikova, 57
                    February 20:  Cindy Crawford, 53
                                           Patty Hearst, 65
                                           Buffy Sainte-Marie, 78
                                           Sidney Poitier, 92
                    February 21:  Charlotte Church, 33
                                           Mary Chapin Carpenter, 61
                                           Kurt Cobain (1967-1994)
                    February 22:  Julius Erving, 60
                                           Marni Nixon (1929-2016)
                                           [NOT George Washington (Feb. 11, 1732, Julian, to Dec. 14, 1799, Gregorian)]
                    February 23:  Dakota Fanning, 25
                                           Ed "Too Tall" Jones, 68
                    February 24:  Joe Lieberman, 77
Deaths:
                Oh, no!  They did it again!
               
                      No, it wasn't Kris Kristofferson this time, either;  and it wasn't Willie
                      Nelson.  It was Nashville record producer Fred Foster, the guy in the
                      middle.  87.
                Don Newcombe, 92
                Gene Littler, 88
                Ethel Ennis, 86
                Lee Radziwill, 85
                Peter Tork, 77
                Sean Milliken, 29 (and down to 500 lbs.)
                Jain Ellen Hunter Hain Price, 95
                                                                                       [Louisville Courier-Journal]

Steve Harvey and Arsenio Hall were under fire for  blackface  presentations
. . . A Texas businessman paid $110,000 for the privilege to hunt, shoot and
kill a markhor, a rare mountain goat in Pakistan, considered the national an-
imal. . . . A black 6th-grade boy was arrested in Lakeland, Florida,  after re-
fusing to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. . . . A truck driver who  "let Jesus
take the wheel"  flipped five times on an  interstate  highway  in Tennessee.
. . . Strong winds in Ohio and Pennsylvania prompted the National Weather
Service to issue a "small dog warning." .  .  . You can sign a petition on line
to sell Montana to Canada. . . . A 14-year-old girl robbed a bank in Fall Riv-
er, Massachusetts (a 15-year-old girl drove the getaway car).

                                                                     [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

Several riders  were injured in a game of "cowboy pinball"
at a rodeo in Owensboro, Kentucky.

:

Publius Leget wrote Sun 2/10/19 @21:42 CST:

       OK, here's my entry in last week's "perp the perps" contest for Lexington's most wanted:

publiusr.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Jason Bethune, dumb nigger; Swakhila Fishback, dumb negress; Chrisit Truman, dumb cunt; Quinae Jones, funny way to spell quinine; Tyler Abner, dumb fuck

Fred Dean wrote Fri 2/15/19 @17:10 PST:

I suggest that Quinae Jones was charged with animal abuse, and that Tyler Abner was
caught in the woods trying to screw his younger sister.

Thanks to both of you!  We'll let our readers decide who wins the free subscription.    – Editor


Anthony Dean wrote Sun 2/10/19 @09:45 CST:

I'm delighted by the barking woman story!  Paula and I know a woman who
likes to bark at non-English speaking people in the grocery store. 

A burglar caught in the act in Elkhart offered homeowners $200
not to call the police. . . .

A booger the size of a bathtub blew off a statue's schnoz hanging
on the Mascot Hall of Fame  in  Whiting  and down the street for
blocks.
                                                        [courtesy Columbus Republic]

stormoen.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Dennis Stormoen, WM, 5'6", 185 lbs, meth; Erica Mays, BF, 5'5", 210 lbs, coke, trespass, Yorkshire hog runner-up; Amy Rana, WF, 5'4", 125 lbs, theft; Antwon Smith, BM, 5'8", 220 lbs, mj; Wanted in Plymouth: Amanda Castillo, HF, 5'0", 200 lbs, burglaary, forgery, Yorkshire hog of the week (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

See also the sports.

Carl "Trump" Nett,  a Republican candidate for secretary
of state, will not be allowed to sport his chosen nickname
on  the ballot,  according to the present secretary of state,
Alice in Wonderland's Groin Allison Lundergan Grimes.. . .

A bill cleared committee in the state House of Represen-
tatives that would prohibit abortion  if  Roe v. Wade is o-
verturned.  Meanwhile,  the state Senate passed a bill to
outlaw abortion when a fetal heartbeat can be heard. . . .

A man was in jail in Columbus,  Ohio,  for having wives
in Kentucky, Ohio and New Hampshire (and was suspec-
ted of having wives also in Alabama, Georgia and Maine). . . .

A Louisville man  acquitted  of  killing his younger step-
brother eight years ago admitted doing it (his father took
the rap for the killing and is doing life in prison). . . .

Four Kentucky cities were ranked among the top 20 in the
United States for divorce rates. . . .

A Pikeville lawyer offered a  Valentine's Day special  on
uncontested divorces in February.
                                                               [courtesy LEX18]
See also the sports.

melaperp.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Scottie Williams, BM, 37, 6'0", 160 lbs, robbery; Carrie Allen, WF, 39, 5'6", 150 lbs, heroin, meth, coke (Bluegrass Crime Stoppers); Perp of the week in  Paducah: Melanie D. Farmer, 19, meth (McCracken County Sheriff)

Classic quotations of the Wheat (Simon said November 13, 2016): "I almost forgot how good a bad woman feels."                                                                                                                      – Leonard Simon

daarreba.jpg Celebrity lookalikes: Judith Daar, dean, Northern Kentucky Univ. law school; Reba McEntire

Eddie Murphy and Michael Che were under fire for blackface comedy.
. . .  Prince Philip gave up his driver's license. . . .  A tigress at the Lon-
don (England) zoo was killed by  a  tiger  she had just been introduced
to for mating. . . . Joshua Trump, the 11-year-old Delaware boy invited
to attend the State of the Union address after being bullied over his sur-
name, fell asleep during the speech. . . . A dog  named  Donald  Trump
was shot and killed in Jackson County, Minnesota. . . . Trump got a 52
per cent approval rating?   Hitler had 90 per cent. . . . Country  music's
Miranda Lambert got into a food fight at a Nashville, Tennessee, resta-
urant. . . . A 19-year-old woman was sought for  throwing  chairs  and
other items from a 45th floor balcony to the street in Toronto,  Canada
(there's video). . . .The El Paso, Texas, Zoo ran a program called "Quit
Bugging Me"  inviting people to name cockroaches after their exes  or
other unwanteds  and then feeding the roaches to zoo animals.

                                                             [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

zapatada.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls (Texas, not Wichita, Kansas):: Michael Zapata,HM, 19, 5'8", 185 lbs, solicitation of a minor on line; David Dmiri Sawtelle, BM, 32, 6'0", 240 lbs, c.s.; David Alan Yarbrough, BM, 63, 5'11", 165 lbs, failure to reg.; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita falls, Texas): Julie M. Scheeffler, WF, 5'5", 160 lbs, narcotics; Jordan Corey, WF, 25, 5'5", 170 lbs, narcotics (Wichita Falls Crime Stoppers, Sedgwick County Sheriff)

The sports:         Using a biscuit for         bait, a man caught         a  mystery  fish  in         Boyle County, Ken-         tucky. . . .

Colin Kaepernick entered a legal settlement with the
National Football League including a gag rule. . . .

The Hartford (Connecticut) Yard Goats,  of  the  Eas-
tern League (AA), became the first professional base-
ball team to ban peanuts from the stadium  (" . . . take
me out to the game; buy me some bourbon and crack-
erjack, I don't care if I never get back . . . "). . . .

Persons who attended  an  Indiana  Pacers  basketball
game  against the Los Angeles Clippers  a  week  ago
in Indianapolis  were warned to check themselves for
rabies if they handled a bat that was flying around the
fieldhouse.

                 

damianic.jpg Wanted in Waco: Christopher Philip Damiani, WM, 32, 5'6", 150 lbs, assault by occlusion; Denys Marella Dabbs, BF, 19, 5'6", 228 lbs, organized crime; Sabrina Tapia, WF, 41, 5'1", 160 lbs, theft; Joseph Ray Adams, WM, 29, 5'10", 180 lbs, child aband. (city of Waco)

DISCUSSION GROUP:    Don't  forget!   Readers  inter- ested in  intellectual  dissection of important current events  are invited  to  attend   the  Weekly World  News  Round  Table  at the offices of  Borf  Books  out- side   Brownsville,   Kentucky, just after church every Sunday. Guest  speakers  lined  up  for meetings in the near future in- clude Whoopi Ti-yi-yo.

                                                                                              Rainie looks better since she let her hair down.
                                                                                              Chriselda doesn't.

branjodi.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County (Texas) Sheriff): Brandy Gregory, 38, fam. assault; Jodie Williamson, 38, drug paraphernalia; Chriselda Esquivel, 36, auto theft; Jasmin Torres, 33, theft; Rainie Baldwin, 24, theft; Adelaida Martinez, 42, contr. s.; Alivia Polston, 23, esc.; Jandie Sanchez, 36

:

Henry Velenosi wrote Sun 2/3/19 @08:19 PST:

I am not sure I understand the Japan court’s decision requiring
sterilization of trans people. Why bother? When a man has the
surgery,  his testicles are removed and his penis is slit down the
middle and tucked into his abdominal cavity  to create a vagina.
Woman’s ovaries  and uterus  are  removed,  but I don’t know
what they use to make the penis.    I think those surgeries pretty
much sterilize them.  For those waiting for the surgery,  or have
not decided for various reasons to have it yet, it would seem to
be a pointless law.

Well,  let's see:  What if a man-becoming-woman made love to a
woman-becoming-man?  That could create a trans baby if "trans"
is a genetic thing, couldn't it? Do we know yet?  Let's ask Justice
Kavanaugh.    – Editor

A 20-year-old woman was arrested after barking at a  police dog
in traffic outside her  home in Lafayette  (but she was not arrested
for  barking;  Police recognized her as someone who had two out-
standing arrest warrants).
                                                        [courtesy Columbus Republic]

tusingwl.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Mark Tusing,WM, 6'0", 165 lbs, Meth, DUI; Willie Robertson, BM, 5'11", 200 lbs, parole violation; James Blackwood, WM, 6'3", 150 lbs, home improv. fraud; Damonte Lovelady, BM, 5'6", 150 lbs, burglary; Gene Richmond, WM, 5'11", 160 lbs, theft (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

Lawyers  for  Nick  Sandmann,  the Covington Catholic High
School student in the notorious Lincoln Memorial videos,  no-
tified media of possible libel action. . . .

A Louisville woman held a "gender reveal" photo shoot for a
20-year-old offspring  going  "trans"  (it was born a son,  but
we have never figured out whether to call it  after  the  "trans"
– "trans-woman" or "trans-man"?).
                                                                [courtesy LEX18]

Lexington's most wanted: Jason Bethune, BM, 39, 5'8", 180 lbs, Swakhila Fishback, BF, 24, 5'5", 130 lbs, Christie Truman, WF, 22, 5'10", 145 lbs, Quinae Jones, BF, 37, 5'5", 150 lbs, in training to be Yorkshire hog; Tyler Abner, WM, 26, 5'9", 140 lbs (dragged kicking and screaming from the Herald-Leader)

OK,  your turn!  The Lexington alleged Herald-Leader never tells us what their pictured
perps are charged with; so you – our readers – decide.  Give  us  your  guesses  in time for
publication next Sunday – February 17.  There will be prizes,  of course (including free sub-
scriptions).
                            

Perps in Paducah: Sarah L. Taber, 25, prostitution (and enjoying it); Precious R. Burnside, 26, bail jumping (and enjoying it); (McCracken County Sheriff)

A legislative seat won by one vote in Owensboro  resulted in a
tie  in  a recount,  but the initial winner already had been sworn
in; and the challenger finally gave up.
                                                                                 [LEX18]

Classic quotations of the Wheat (Simon said June 15, 2014): "Stop the grinnin' and drop the linen."                                                                                                              – Leonard Simon

sellearl.jpg Celebrity lookalikes: W. Wayne Early III, Kentucky Chamber of Commerce energ. & env. council; Tom Selleck

Richard Pryor and Bill Cosby were under fire for blackface comedy.
. . . A puppy was born with upside-down paws in Stillwater, Oklaho-
ma. . . . A  judge  ordered  the silver gorilla  Ndume  returned  to the
Cincinnati, Ohio, zoo after 27 years at the Gorilla Foundation in nor-
thern California. . . . Bats were falling from trees  in  Australia  as tem-
peratures reached 42.2 C (106° F) in Adelaide,  49 (121° F) at Tarco-
ola. . . . Police in Columbus, Ohio, arrested Disney's snow queen, El-
sa, for bringing subzero temperatures. . . . The Nixon Foundation dis-
avowed Roger Stone. . . . Police raiding homes for meth in Anderson,
Missouri, found a dead bald eagle. . . . A hiker suffocated a mountain
lion that attacked him on a Colorado trail. . . . Instantspam Instagram
agreed to ban graphic images  of  self-harm  after a father whose teen
daughter committed suicide said the social medium contributed to her
decision. . . . Cops  were  called  to a nursing home  in Rideau Lakes,
Ontario,  when one old lady took another old lady's seat  at the bingo
game and hostilities ensued.
                                                     [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, AP]

The only players who knelt at last Sunday's Super Bowl
were the quarterbacks – in the game, and not for the Na-
tional Anthem. .  .  .  Some  gamblers  regarded  Gladys
Knight's rendition of the National Anthem  as controver-
sial  (even though it wasn't).

Wanted in Waco: [escaped or bailed out before we could write him up]; Ashley Cecillia Castaneda, HF,34, 5'1", 170 lbs, amphetamines; Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Maarcos Marinez, HM, 35, 5' 9", 200 lbs, naarcotics (City of Waco, Sedgwick County Sheriff)

augustus:jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County (Texas) Sheriff): Augustus Silva, 21, ass. on pub. srvnt. Carla Perez, 21, inj. child; Valerie Young, 27, marijuana; Tyler Pawvlik, 21, marijuana; Zhanee Davis, 25, P.I.; Tonia Cano, 40; Bianca Esquivel, 21, inj. to child; Johnni Lewis, 21, DWOL; Frederick Fuqua, 28

lifepand.jpg Pandor'as inbox: "It can't hurt to open one little attachment, can it?" Life Saver Dude: "Even 'firewalls' and antiviru programs are 'malware,' honey

:

Ted Fiskevold wrote Sun 1/27/19 A10:29 CST:

I  sent  the 37 Brittany question and answer  to my friend Brittany
in the Twin Cities, whose parents spelled her name correctly.  Her
reply:
                    I know.  The other spellings are ridiculous.

                    Bretagne is the French spelling.

That's wonderful!

We  have  yet  to meet a Kentucky (or other American) woman named
Bretagne!
                        – Editor

krisbrad.jpg Country fans mourn death of star known for countless hits

Oh, no!  Kris Kristofferson died?  Well, he is/was in his 80's . . .

But, no, it was the guy on the right who died, guitarist Harold Bradley, 93.  He did play on
a bunch of hits, but he wasn't known by most country music fans for them. He  was  a "ses-
sion" musician.  Kristofferson, songwriter, hit recording artist and movie star, was "known
for countless hits."
                                                                                                           [idiocy Windstream.net]

 

clabrgrl.jpg five minutes to Terre Haute, the home of Clabber Girl baking powder

The 1930's  Clabber  Girl  billboard  was being restored on the
east side of Terre Haute. . . .

A  zebra  froze  to  death  on a Carroll County farm in tempera-
tures of  -11° and colder. . . .

A 13-year-old boy visiting family in Valparaiso  told  Apple's
"Siri," "I'm gonna shoot up a school," and Siri gave him a list
of schools in Valparaiso.
                                                  [courtesy Columbus Republic]

The Winfield  town  marshal  used a chain saw to rescue a
horse that got wedged between the two trunks of a bifurca-
ted tree in subzero weather.
                                                    [Northwest Indiana Times]

A Terre Haute couple were suspected of cutting their 3-year-
old son's tongue with scissors. . . .

Years of allegations  against  French  Lick teacher  Kari Bucher,  42,   over sexual re- lations with students erupted in charges of Slapcrap and Instantspam  child  pornogra- phy.                                         [courtesy LEX18]

A 911 dispatcher in Lafayette helped a  schoolboy  with  his
fractions.
                                                                     [courtesy WCPO]  

sedlacek.jpg South Bend's most wanted: Nathan Sedlacek, WM, 6'4", 150 lbs, parole violation; Jessica Kamwendo, WF, 5'5", 210 lbs, parole violation, Yorkshire hog wannabe; Dustin Fisher, WM, 5'8", 155 lbs, parole violation, exaggerated tattoo; Eric Florian, WM, 5'9", 170 lbs, parole violation (Michiana Crime Stoppers)

A  jury  in Bowling Green awarded Senator Rand Paul $582,-
834 in damages against the neighbor who attacked him mow-
ing his lawn, including $375,000 in punitive damages. . . .
 
A Scott County man who told police, "God told me to beat the
demon from the woman downstairs" pleaded not guilty to mur-
dering his caretaker with a baseball bat.
                                                                        [courtesy LEX18]

slaughtr.jpg Lexington's most wanted: Caleb Slaughter, WM, 25, 5'8", 120 lbs, misbehaving white boy; Jayshara Washington, BF, 20, no stats but looks dangerous; André Volpato-Neto, WM, 21, 6'0", 160 lbs, phony dreads; Jermaine Harris, BM, 23, 5'6", 130 lbs, unwashed corn rows; Aria Thompson, BF, 21, 5'6", 190 lbs, disqualified in Yorkshire hog competition (pulled kicking & screaming from the Herald-Leader)

                         

kdulceak.jpg Perps in Paducah: Kaycee N. Dulceak, 27, probation violation; Cortez F. Gray, 26, probation violation; Kelly L. Tabor, 43, failure to appear on receiving stolen property arrest, utter remorse (McCracken County Sheriff)

"Good news for George Herbert Walker Bush:  As of today he is no longer the biggest
  wimp ever to serve as President of the United States."
                                                                                         – Ann Coulter

Quotations of the Wheat: "One day it's chicken; the next, it's feathers." – Leonard Simon

A Detroit, Michigan,  family, Yossi Adler and wife and 19-month-old
daughter, were kicked off an American Air Lines flight in Miami, Flo-
rida,  for body odor (Adler alleged antisemitism). . . . A substitute tea-
cher in Sarasota, Florida,  spread human feces on benches,  tables and
grills at a park where a school principal was planning a birthday party.
. . . . A McDonald's in San Francisco, California, closed for two hours
to clean and sanitize  after a man brought in a bloody raccoon carcass
and laid it on a table. . . . The first  nudist  restaurant  in Paris, France,
closed for lack of business. . . . Japan's supreme court upheld a law re-
quiring sterilization of "trans" people. . . .  Manson  murderess  Leslie
Van  Houten  was again recommended  for  parole,  and she has a new
governor now to approve or deny her release.
. . .
                                             [courtesy Harper's, LEX18, HuffPost, AP]

amberbnk.jpg Locked up in San Angelo (by the Tom Green County Texas Sheriff): Christina Jordan, 26, poss.; Mariah Marquez, 24, auto theft; Amber Banks, 35, poss. c.s.; [excaped or bailed out before we could write her up]; Cathie Perez, 51, poss. c.s.; Heather Byrd, 49, poss. contr. subst.; Brianna Sanders, 22, tres.; Amber Sanmiguel,  32, drug par.; Sylvia Palacio, 51, poss.; Mary Rodriguez, 40, DWOL; Rosy Bryant, 39, Misc. CPF (?)

lifearay.jpg Live Saver Dude: "'Sing it, Dino!" When you're down by the sea and an eel bites your knee that's a moray . . .

anlucile.jpg Wanted in Wichita Falls, Texas (not Wichita, Kansas): Anna Leigh Pierce, WF, 26, 5'9", 135 lbs, bond revocation (mfr. controlled substance); Jasmine Desirée Monroe, BF, 26, 5'3", 130 lbs, bond rev. (possession) (Wichita Falls Crime Stoppers, Texoma's most wanted fugitives of the week); Wanted in Wichita (Kansas, not Wichita Falls, Texas): Lucille M. Rustage, WF, 23, 5'0", 100 lbs, probation violation (forgery and theft) (Sedgwick County Sheriff)

DISCUSSION GROUP:         Don't  forget!  Readers interested in  intellectual dissection of  important current events  are invited to attend the Weekly World News  Round  Table  at the   offices   of   Borf   Books   outside Brownsville,Kentucky, just after church every Sunday.   Guest speakers lined up for  meetings  in the near future  include Tracey  Samuelson.